Copyright April 2, 2002-March 15, 2004 by Matthew Haldeman-Time

Rating: NC-17 for graphic male-male sex

Pairings: Thus far we've had JC/Justin, Nick/Drew/Brian, Nick/Jeff, Nick/Drew/Brian/Nick/Jeff, AJ/Lance, AJ/Howie, AJ/Kevin, Chris/Howie, and partridge/pear tree.

Disclaimer: The young men who comprise the Backstreet Boys, *NSYNC, and 98 Degrees are their own people. The author has not met anyone here described, nor does the author mean to suggest that these people act this way in real life. This writing is a work of fiction. I make no money from this venture.

Dedication: This slashfic is for Ewan McGregor and the Savage Garden slashwriters.  It also is for Elizabeth and Jeff.

Notice: First, read "I Need You Tonight," "Boy Lead the Way to Ecstasy," "Not Easy," "No One," "Rest in Peace," "Destiny," and "Together." I know it sounds like a lot, but it'll only take you an hour or two.

        Brian’s first thought was Nick, but Nick was asleep, calm at rest.  Brian looked past Nick, expecting to see Drew, but saw only an empty patch of bed.

        Brushing a kiss over Nick’s cheek, Brian slipped from the bed.  He pulled on a T-shirt over his underwear and went in search of Drew.

        He found Drew downstairs, in the weight room, lying on the bench.  He watched for a moment, quietly admiring the flex and bunch of Drew’s muscles, then said, “Hi.”

        “Hi.”

        Brian came closer, sitting on a machine he didn’t know the name of, watching sweat bleed through Drew’s tank top.  “It’s five a.m.”

        Drew spared enough concentration to glance at the clock.  “Five forty-seven,” he corrected.

        “What are you doing down here?” Brian asked.

        “Taking my mind off things,” Drew said.

        “How long have you been here?”

        “Since I woke up,” Drew said.  He controlled his breathing.

        “Do you want me to go, or should I keep pulling teeth?” Brian asked without rancor or judgment.

        “I had a dream about Nick,” Drew said.  “A dream about, pardon my bluntness, taking him from behind and smacking his ass.”

        “I’ve had that dream,” Brian said.

        “A wet dream,” Drew clarified.  “I woke up and went to rinse out my shorts.  I started thinking about everything, and I couldn’t get back to sleep.  It was either come here and try to work out my anger, or get in the car and drive over to pay a personal visit to Nick’s parents.”  Drew grunted, releasing the bar, and sat up, wiping sweat from his face.  “If I make it through life without taking a tire iron to their personal property, it’ll be a miracle.”

        “I’ve always planned to use my bare hands,” Brian said.  “Sometimes fire.”

        Drew peeled out of his sweat-soaked shirt.  “What are we going to do?”

        “We, you and me?” Brian asked.

        “You’ve been trying to protect Nick for years.  Now, he’s older, he knows everything, and protection isn’t what he needs.  What he needs-”

        “-is a family,” Brian said suddenly, as though an idea had sparked.

        “We’re his family,” Drew said.

        “We’re going to get him what he needs,” Brian said.  “You and me.”

        “Give me something to do,” Drew said.  “Anything.”

        “It’s going to mean keeping things from Nick,” Brian warned.  “It’s also going to mean risking making things worse, if we screw up.”

        “Then we won’t screw up,” Drew said.  “Tell me what to do.”

        “I am asleep,” Justin said.

        “Your eyes are open.”

        “You can’t see that,” Justin said.

        “What were you thinking about?” JC asked, propping himself up on one elbow, tucking his chin over Justin’s shoulder.

        “You,” Justin said.  He smiled, turning his head to kiss JC’s cheek.  “How much I love you.”

        JC rubbed his hand over Justin’s abs.  “I love you, too, baby.”

        Brian walked into the room.  “Hey,” he said warmly, coming to sit on the bed.  The shower started in the bathroom.  “It’s early.  Go back to sleep.”

        “Why’s everybody up and running around?” Nick asked.

        “Drew woke up early to work out.”  Brian pushed him onto his back and lay beside him.  “Go back to sleep.”

        “I’m awake now,” Nick said.  “It wasn’t fair to you.”

        “What wasn’t?” Brian asked, puzzled.

        “Making you break up with me.  Making you take the blame.  Forcing you into that position and making you the villain.”

        “There is no villain,” Brian said.  “There were bad decisions and and bad judgment, and several people did the wrong thing, but there’s no villain.  Your parents aren’t bad people, Nick.”

        Nick shook his head, picking at the bedspread.  Maybe they weren’t.  Maybe they were.

        “When did you tell your parents you were gay?” Brian asked.

        “I didn’t,” Nick said.  “Not officially.”

        “You didn’t have to, did you?” Brian asked.  “They knew.”

        Brian’s tone was suspicious.  Nick looked at him, matching his suspicion.  “What are you trying to say?”

        “You were awfully young, and there were an awful lot of girls,” Brian said.

        “What do you mean?” Nick asked.  “I had hormones, there were girls offering it up every time I turned around, you know what it was like.”

        “Nick, you’re gay.  You didn’t want them.”

        “Who do you think was pushing them on me?” Nick asked.  “Management, trying to keep the star happy and het.  My parents, who would have pimped me to anybody if it sold records.  I’m not stupid, Brian.  I know how it works.  I’m a, a fucking, what’s the word.  Com-something, damn it.”

        “Commodity,” Brian said.  “You’re not a commodity, Nick.  You’re an amazing human being.”

        “Whatever.”  Nick got up, reaching for his underwear.

        “Where are you going?” Brian asked.

        “To Kevin’s.”

        “Right now?”

        “Yeah, right now.”

        “Can I make you breakfast first?”

        Nick was halfway dressed already.  “If you hurry,” he said without looking.  Zipping up his jeans, he ran a hand through his hair and opened his dresser drawers to find a T-shirt.

        Drew walked in with a towel draped around his hips.  “Good morning?” he asked, watching Nick.

        “What the hell’s a commodity?” Nick demanded.

        “Something that’s bought and sold,” Drew said.  “Or traded.  What are we talking about?”

        “Bought and sold,” Nick muttered.  “Fucking bought and sold!” he shouted, slamming his drawers shut.  “They’re fucking - - is what you said true?” he demanded of Drew.

        “What did I say?” Drew asked.

        “I was set up to succeed, and everybody was counting on me, and I let them down, and now they’re pushing him twice as hard as they pushed me because they’re scared shitless of failing again,” Nick said.  “You said they’re destroying him.”

        “I shouldn’t have phrased it like that,” Drew said.

        “Fuck.”  Nick yanked his T-shirt on over his head, shoving his arms through the sleeves.

        “Nick, where did you get the word ‘commodity?’” Brian asked.

        “Same place you did,” Nick said.  “Kevin.  I didn’t even know what the hell it meant.  I had to use my, what do you call them, context clues.”

        “What are you-”

        “You know what I’m talking about,” Nick said.  “Back around ’97, the big debate over whether or not to peddle my ass to sell more records.”

        “You weren’t supposed to hear that conversation,” Brian said.  “I can’t believe you remember it.”

        “Everybody was getting into one room to have a big talk, and you all wanted me to go run and play,” Nick said.  “Of course I came back and listened in.  And yeah, when you hear everybody bargaining over how much skin you’re allowed to show and how you’re allowed to pose and everything else, you remember it.  I had to ask one of the lighting techs later what ‘androgynous’ meant.”

        “They were taking things too far,” Brian said.  “We didn’t agree with it, we wanted them to back off.  The rest of us, even AJ, we were older.  Howie could flash as much skin as he wanted, because he was old enough to use his own judgment and make that decision for himself.”

        “You still don’t get it,” Nick said.  “God, Brian, I always understood.  My parents are his parents, my management is his management.  The harder they’re selling me, the more they let him be.  When I’m making soft-core porn videos like ‘Quit Playing Games,’ he’s fine.  Now I’m older and I’m not even theirs anymore, and I page through Drew’s fan girl magazines and I see my brother’s nipples.”

        “Sex sells,” Drew said quietly.

        “He’s a fucking kid!” Nick shouted.

        “So were you,” Drew said.  “It wasn’t right then, either.”

        “I can take care of myself,” Nick said.  “I didn’t mind learning how to pout on cue.  You get used to it.  I just didn’t want him to get used to it.  Some people shouldn’t.  Brian still can’t do it.”

        “I’m not a very good pin-up,” Brian admitted.

        “I’m probably not, either,” Drew said, shrugging.

        “So he says, while he’s posed against the dresser with the towel hanging so low around his hips you can see-”

        “That’s not what I meant,” Drew said, clutching at his towel, making it more secure.  “Are you okay?” he asked Nick, moving closer.

        “No.  Yeah.  Yeah.  Probably.”  Nick wrapped an idle arm around Drew’s waist.  “I should stop getting pissed off, anyway.  I already have too much stuff I’m upset about.  I shouldn’t pick up new stuff.”

        “It’s not new, it’s old, and they’re all related,” Drew said.  “Is there anything I can do?”

        “You can keep being you,” Nick said.

        “I was going to do that anyway,” Drew said.  “Anything else?”

        “You can rescue Aaron for me.”

        Drew straightened Nick’s T-shirt.  “I’ll look into it.  Do you want to come help me carry Justin’s furniture today?”

        “I’m going over to see Kevin,” Nick said.  “Although, whoa, that sounds like a lot of fun.”

        “Let me make you breakfast,” Brian said.

        “I think you make a great pin-up,” Nick told him.  “I’d pin you to the wall anytime.”

        Brian kissed him.  “Thank you for that lovely thought.”

        He went back to the bedroom, crawling over Kevin’s back.  “Good morning,” he murmured, placing his hand between Kevin’s shoulder blades.  “I hope you had good dreams about me.”

        “Every night.”

        AJ stroked Kevin’s spine.  “I made breakfast.”

        Kevin’s eyes opened.  “You did?”

        “Yes, I did.”  AJ lifted his weight enough for Kevin to roll over, then straddled Kevin’s hips, leaning in for a kiss.  “How do you feel on your first morning after?”

        “I have never, and I mean never, felt anything like that,” Kevin said.  “You,” he added, tapping AJ’s nose, “are amazing.”

        “I am amazing,” AJ agreed with a grin.  “But for last night, I think most of the credit goes to you.”

        Kevin’s hand ran down AJ’s naked back, stopping at the waistband of his boxer-briefs.  “Thank you for letting me have that experience.”

        “We will be doing it again, won’t we?” AJ asked.  “If you’re telling me that was a one-time thing-”

        “We’ll be doing it again,” Kevin said.  “We might even do it tonight.”

        “Tonight?” AJ asked.  “Not this morning?”

        “You made breakfast,” Kevin said, tucking his fingers beneath AJ’s waistband.

        “Screw breakfast,” AJ said, kissing him.  “You can eat me.”

        Joey was lying with his face near Lance’s groin, eyeing Lance’s naked dick.

        “Joey,” Lance said dryly.  “May I help you?”

        “What kinds of blowjobs do you like?” Joey asked.

        “Good ones,” Lance said.

        “Deep throating?”

        “Yeah,” Lance said.  “Usually.”

        “How wet?”

        “I don’t know,” Lance said.  “Are you writing a book?”

        “I’ve never given head before, and I want it to be good.  Since you’re the one I’m doing it to, I thought I might as well ask you what you like.”  Joey moved back up to Lance’s side.  “Any suggestions?”

        Lance weighed his answer.  “It’ll be your first time.  I’m not going to expect anything fancy.”

        “That’s no excuse,” Joey said.

        “Yes, it is,” Lance said.

        “How’ve I been so far?” Joey asked.

        “At what?” Lance asked.

        “Sex,” Joey said.  “One to ten.  One is you’d rather be alone with your hand, ten is better than JC and Justin.”

        “I’m not going to rate your technique,” Lance said.

        “I need some kind of feedback,” Joey said.  “Comment.  One is worse than abstinence, ten is the best you’ve ever had.”

        “What about me?” Lance asked.

        “Ten,” Joey said.

        Lance shook his head.  “See why this conversation doesn’t work?”

        “You’re a ten,” Joey said.  “A good, solid ten.  Best I’ve ever been with.  You have everything.  Great skin, damned good kisses, you don’t mind being groped, you make great noises, you feel incredible on my dick, you give fantastic head, and you look good when you’re being fucked.”

        “You’re giving me a ten?” Lance asked, not believing.

        “I love fucking you,” Joey said.

        “You’ve told me about the women you hook up with,” Lance said.  “They could make Hugh Hefner blush.”

        “I don’t want to hold them just for the sake of holding them,” Joey said.  “I can’t talk to them, not about anything that matters.  That’s why you’re a ten.”

        “I thought we were talking about technique,” Lance said.

        “Lance, I’m in love with you.  That colors everything.  You are the best lover I’ve ever had, but I’d also say you were the best hockey goalie I’ve ever seen, too, if you asked me.”

        Lance laughed.  “That might be going a little far.”

        Joey kissed him.

        “If I tell you what number I rate you, will you keep it to yourself?” Lance asked.

        “Probably not,” Joey said.

        “I’d say you’re…”  Lance thought about it, running his fingers over Joey’s chest.  “If you gave head, you’d be a perfect ten.  I have to give you an eight.”

        “Eight,” Joey said.  “Eight?!”

        “Sorry,” Lance said.  “That’s life.”

        “Eight,” Joey repeated.  “I demand a rematch.”

        “If you think it’ll help,” Lance said.

        “I gave you a ten!”

        Lance shrugged.  “I must be better than you.”

        Kevin opened the door.  “Nick.”  He looked a little surprised, a little concerned.

        “Are you busy?”

        “No,” Kevin said, putting out a hand, tugging him in.  “Come inside.”

        “I don’t have a family,” Nick said.  “I don’t have a fucking family!  I mean, yeah, you guys, you’ve always been my family.  But blood family, regardless of who else you pick up along the way, your blood’s supposed to be your family.  I don’t even know, if they don’t love me now, did they love me then?  Did they ever love me?  When did they stop?”

        “They still love you,” Kevin said.  “You can’t say that they don’t.”

        “Yes, I can,” Nick said.  “They don’t love me.  You’ve known it for years.  Why didn’t you ever tell me?”

        “Tell you that your parents had held Brian emotional hostage and threatened to disown you? I wouldn’t tell anyone that.  If they’d changed their behavior, you knowing would have done more harm than good.”

        “They’re not going to change their behavior,” Nick said.  “This is how things are.  You should have told me.  You know how damned hard this has been for me, you know it’s been fucking killing me not knowing what the hell’s wrong with me or how to fix it.”

        “Nothing’s wrong with you,” Kevin said.  “Do you understand that?”

        “My family would be happier if I didn’t exist,” Nick said.  “I’m doing something wrong.”

        “You’re not doing anything wrong,” Kevin said.  “They have no excuse for any of their behavior.”

        “I don’t know,” Nick said.  “I don’t know what to do.  It’s not like now that I know what’s going on, I can change their minds.  I either have to accept it and keep going like I have been, or cut them off like they’ve been trying their damnedest to do to me.”

        “You could talk to them,” Kevin said.

        “And say what?  Tell them they’re hurting my feelings?  This isn’t new, Kevin, they’ve been this way for years.  I’ve talked to them about it, all of them at once and one-on-one, a hundred times.  It doesn’t make any difference.  They’re not going to start listening now.”

        “What do you want to do?” Kevin asked.

        “Besides get him out of there?  I don’t know.  I can’t make them see.  I can’t get them to change.  I’ve been slamming and slamming my head into this fucking brick wall, trying to get them to give me something, anything.  Some kind of support.  Some kind of real affection.  But I’m not getting anything from them.  And I can’t cut them off.  I can’t just say fuck it and walk away.  I love my family, Kevin.”

        “I know you do,” Kevin said.

        “He’s my little brother,” Nick said.  “He’s…  Before I had Drew, before I had any of the four of you, he was like…  It’s unconditional love, it’s this…  I always took care of him, even when I couldn’t be there.  Now it’s like…”

        Kevin handed Nick a tissue.

        “Fuck.”  Nick blew his nose.  “You know this is why I’m really fucked up.”

        “I know,” Kevin said.

        “I always blamed Brian.  It was Brian, it was, because, I don’t know, my family started pulling away, more and more, until it was like I was this negative thing in their lives they’d be better off without.  And Brian, he was like, you’re not worth it.  But I kind of…  When my parents, my family did it, I wasn’t totally surprised.  I know what they’re like.  It’s the most fucking painful thing, but it’s not a complete shock.  From Brian, god, I never thought I’d get that from him, because he was different, he was real, I thought he’d love me forever.  And, okay, he did, he does, but I didn’t know that until yesterday.”

        “You felt used,” Kevin said.  “Your family, Brian - - you were used and celebrated until you’d served your purpose, and once you’d outlived your usefulness, or something different came along, no one wanted anything to do with you.”

        “Right,” Nick said.  “So I’ve kind of, ever since then, been waiting for it to happen with everyone else.  I kept thinking, maybe if I worked harder at certain things, I’d trick people into keeping me around.  Like maybe they wouldn’t notice how useless and pointless I was, the way everyone else had.”

        “You know how wrong that is,” Kevin said.

        “Drew proved it to me,” Nick said.  “I believe in Drew’s love.  I believe in myself now.  Almost all of the time.”

        “Do you want me to talk to them?” Kevin asked.

        “You already have, haven’t you?” Nick asked.  “Brian didn’t, he would have told me about it when he told me everything else yesterday.  But you talked to them?  Didn’t you?”

        Kevin didn’t apologize for it.  “A few times.”

        “You told off my parents?” Nick asked, grinning suddenly at the idea.

        “A few times.”  Kevin rearranged his feet.  “And one or two of your sisters.”

        Nick laughed, throwing his head back.  “Whoo!  What’d you say?!”

        “I explained to them, as clearly as possible, that if they were incapable of appreciating you, they didn’t deserve you.”

        “What’d they say?” Nick asked.

        Kevin rubbed his thumb under his lower lip.  “They threatened to call the police if I didn’t leave.”

        Nick laughed.

        “Maybe I wasn’t as polite as I could have been,” Kevin admitted.

        “Seriously, how many times have you done that?” Nick asked.

        “We get into it at least twice a year,” Kevin said.

        Nick stared at him.  “Still?”

        “Oh, yeah,” Kevin said.

        “I didn’t know that.”

        “I know.”

        “You didn’t have to.”

        Kevin refused that.  “Of course I did.”

        “You know you’re not going to get anywhere with them,” Nick said.  “They’re never going to listen to you.”

        “Nick, no matter what you ever did, or what you might possibly do in the future, no matter how angry I get, I have always loved you.  And you’ve known that.”

        “Every day,” Nick said without hesitation.

        “That’s what you should get from your family.  That’s the least of what they should give you.  As long as they’re hurting you, I’m going to do whatever I can, even if it seems pointless.  I can’t not try to help you.  It’s draining, and it’s frustrating, and it makes me furious every time, but then I see you on your own birthday calling and calling and getting no answer, and I can’t let that go.”

        Nick hugged him.

        “Pride and greed can be strong, driving emotions,” Kevin said, embracing him.  “Remember that the rest of us, we chose you for our family.”

        “You’re a good big brother,” Nick said.

        Kevin’s embrace tightened.  “So are you, Nick.”

        “Hey,” Justin said.  “Do you know Lance is?”

        “No,” Joey said.  “He said he’d be running around all day.  We’re hooking up later.”

        “Can you tell him I need to talk to him?”

        “Yeah, sure,” Joey said.

        “Okay.  Thanks.”  Justin hung up.

        “Yeah.”

        “Is Drew home?”

        “No, he’s with Timberlake.  Don’t ask.  I’ll probably either go over there, or to the studio.”

        “I don’t want you to be alone today.”

        “Relax.  I’ll go to Drew or Brian.  Or I’ll go harass Jeff.”

        “Okay.  Call me if you need anything.”

        “If I promise to be okay, will you promise to relax?”

        “I am relaxed.  This is as relaxed as I get.”

        Nick laughed.  “Liar.”  He hugged Kevin.  “Thanks.”

        “I’m always here,” Kevin said.

        “I know.”

        “I love you.”

        “I know that, too.”  Nick placed a soft, chaste kiss on Kevin’s lips.  “I love you, too.  I’ll call you later.”

        “Call Lance for me.”

        “For fun?”

        “Just call him and see if he answers.”

        “Please stand by.”

        Justin rubbed the back of his head, waiting.

        “Are you still there?”

        “Yeah,” Justin said quickly.  “Did he answer?”

        “It rang, it went to voice mail, I got no Lance,” Chris said.

        “Damn.”

        “Does this have anything to do with Lance’s disappearance and your wet underwear last night?” Chris asked.

        “Yeah.  Never mind.  Thanks.”  Justin hung up.  “Damn it.”

        Nick grinned.  “Miss me?”

        “How’s life as an interior decorator?” Brian asked.

        “It’s giving me something to focus on besides tire irons,” Drew said.  “How’s work?”

        “About the same,” Brian said.  “Kevin called.  Nick just left.  If he doesn’t show up over there in half an hour…”

        “I’ll call him,” Drew said.  “Did Kevin say how he is?”

        “Better than expected,” Brian said.  “He’s so much stronger than he used to be.”

        “Did I ever apologize for completely blowing it for you?” Drew asked.

        “It’s okay,” Brian said.  “It was time to tell him.”

        “Not like that,” Drew said.  “I’m sorry.”

        “You didn’t know.  You thought you were doing the right thing.  I think you were.”

        “I’ll call him if he doesn’t come over here,” Drew said.  “Resist the urge to call him as soon as you hang up.”

        “I just want to-”

        “Kevin told you he’s fine,” Drew said.  “I’m going to call him.  Give it some time.  We don’t want to be checking up on him every five minutes.”

        “Yes, we do,” Brian said.

        “He needs to know we trust him.”

        “I do trust him,” Brian said.  “I just can’t stand having him out of my sight right now.”

        “Do you want me to send him over to you?”

        “Yes,” Brian said.  “But don’t.  He’ll come over if he wants to.”

        “You know if you ask him to be there, he will.”

        “Don’t tempt me.”

        “Go back to work,” Drew said.  “Nick’s fine.  I love you.”

        “I love you,” Brian said.

        “Tell me how you’re doing,” Drew said.

        “I’m doing just great,” Nick said.

        “How’s Kevin?”

        “Kevin’s good,” Nick said.  “He did that Kevin thing and let me know that even though the situation sucks, I personally kick ass.  Now I’m crying on Jeff’s shoulder.  Jeff has very nice shoulders.”

        “Eh, mine are better.”

        Nick snorted.

        “Do you want me to come over?”

        “We are going to have some very special quality time later.  I stopped by the house on my way here, and we have mail.”

        “What mail?”

        “Special mail,” Nick said.  “You go ahead and play with Justin for now.”

        “Do me a favor and call Brian,” Drew said.  “He’s worried about you.”

        “Poor pixie,” Nick said.  “I’ll call him.”

        “Are you okay?” Drew asked.

        “I’m fine,” Nick said.  “Jeff always takes very good care of me.”

        “That’s nice,” Drew said.  “I love you.”

        “I love you.  Bye.”  Nick hung up.  “Hold on,” he said to Jeff.  “I have to be a good fiance.”  He dialed Brian’s number.

        “Hello?”

        “Do you want me to come over?”

        “No,” Brian said.  “Of course, yes, you’re always welcome here.  But you don’t have to come if you don’t want to.”

        “You okay?” Nick asked.

        “How are you?” Brian asked.  “Where are you?”

        “I’m fine.  I’m with Jeff.”

        “Jeff?”

        “Yes.  Do you want to talk to him?”

        “Stop that,” Brian said.  “I’m trying to do the right thing, and not take over, and let you handle this yourself.  I know I want to get you over here, and talk to Jeff about how to deal with you, and you know that, too, but you don’t have to call me on it.”

        “It’s cute,” Nick said.

        “It’s not fair to you,” Brian said.

        “Believe me, I’m used to it,” Nick said.  “I’m okay.  And don’t make any plans for tonight.  We’re having a surprise.”

        “Surprise?” Brian repeated.

        “A sexprise,” Nick said.  “Now go back to what you were doing and stop worrying about me.  I’m fine.”

        “I love you,” Brian said.  “I want to be with you.”

        “I know,” Nick said.  “I love you.”

        “Lance, where the hell do you keep the oregano?”

        “What?” Lance asked, laughing.

        “You do not have an Italian kitchen,” Joey said.

        “I’m not Italian,” Lance said.

        “I’ve been overlooking that, for the sake of our friendship, but I have to tell you, it’s starting to bother me.  Where is the damned oregano?”

        “Joey, breathe with me.  I don’t think I have oregano.”

        “You’re screwing with me.”

        “Are you going to break up with me over this?”

        “I’m too upset to talk about it now.  I’ll let you know later.”

        “Are you making dinner now?” Lance asked.

        “I called my mother.  She’s on the other line.  She’s walking me through it.”

        “And it’s going to take all day to cook?”

        “Family recipe.”

        “You don’t have to do this.”

        “We’re having dinner together.”

        “We can go out.”

        “Can you let me do something nice for you?” Joey asked.

        “I’m too upset to talk about it now,” Lance said.  “I’ll let you know later.”

        Joey laughed.

        “I’ll call Jenny and have her bring you some oregano, okay?”

        “I can handle it.”

        “No, no, family recipe, I wouldn’t want to be responsible for it being substandard.”

        “Oh, Justin called.  Has he gotten in touch with you?”

        “No, but I’ll check my messages.”

        “Okay.  I’ll let you go.  Bye.”

        “Bye.”  Lance hung up.

        The phone rang immediately.

        “Lance,” he said.

        “I love you,” Joey said.  “Bye.”  Joey hung up.

        Lance had to fight the urge to call him back.

        “He’s upstairs taking a shower,” Nick said, coming into the foyer.  “He had paint on his clothes, there was even a smear of it on his cheek, it was sexy.”

        “Sexy?” Brian asked.

        “Have you ever seen Drew not be sexy?” Nick asked.

        Brian had to concede that point.  “How was your day?” he asked.

        Nick kissed him.  “Better now that you and Drew are around.  Tell me about the album.”

        “AJ sounded great today.  JC had great energy.  We had a really good day.  Come back here and do that again.”  Brian pulled him in for another kiss.

        Nick nuzzled behind Brian’s ear.  “It’s good to see you.”

        “I thought about you all day today,” Brian said, stroking the hair at Nick’s nape.

        “You think about me all day every day,” Nick said.

        Brian smiled, kissing him.  “I do,” he admitted.

        “Want to hear about the sexprise?” Nick asked, hooking his fingers in Brian’s back belt loop, running the tip of his tongue along Brian’s jaw.

        “You bought a trampoline?” Brian guessed, closing his eyes.

        “Can I lick you all over?” Nick asked.

        “I really wish you would,” Brian said.  “Is that the surprise?”

        “No, the surprise is upstairs,” Nick said.  “I need you to distract Drew for me down here somewhere.  Not with sex.”

        “Why do you-”  Brian’s eyes popped open; he stared in Nick’s face.  “They came?”

        Nick grinned.  “They’re here.”

        Brian gripped Nick’s elbows.  “Tonight?”

        “Right after we eat, and we’re eating fast.”

        Brian shook his head, switching gears.  “Wait, no, Nick.  Are you sure?  It can wait.  If you’re not in the right frame of mind - - I’m not sure I’m in the right frame of mind.”

        “Get a new frame,” Nick said.  “I’ve spent all day thinking about stuff and talking about stuff and pretending to cope with stuff.  I want to spend tonight thinking about something else.  I’d rather focus on you and Drew and something fun.”

        “Are you sure?” Brian asked.  “It doesn’t have to be tonight.”

        “I’ve been waiting for this,” Nick said.  “Waiting sucks.  If Drew lets us, I want to do it tonight.”

        Brian kissed him again.  “I’ll eat as fast as I can.”

        “You’re home,” Drew said, coming down the stairs, pulling on his shirt.  “Hi,” he said, kissing Brian’s cheek.

        “Hi,” Brian said, smiling.

        Nick grinned.

        “What?” Drew asked.  “Do I still have paint in my hair?”

        “No,” Brian said, smiling.

        Nick grinned.

        “Can I help you with something?” Drew asked.

        “No,” Brian said, smiling.

        Nick grinned.

        “I don’t know how I made it,” JC said, pulling off Justin’s shirt, pushing him down to the mattress.

        “There was so much I wanted to talk to you about,” Justin said, undoing JC’s fly.  “Oh, baby, make love to me.”

        “You look so good, baby, I missed looking at you.”  JC tugged down Justin’s pants.  “I wanted to call you, I wanted to hear your voice.”  He spread Justin’s legs, rubbing his finger against the entrance to Justin’s body.  “Let me hear it now, baby, let me hear you.”

        “Freeze!” Joey shouted.  “Go take a shower and get dressed.”

        Lance decided to humor Joey and stopped walking.  “Get dressed for what?”

        “Dinner!” Joey shouted.

        “We can’t just eat?”

        “No!  And scrub thoroughly.  I’m giving you head tonight and I don’t feel like licking sweaty balls.”

        Lance laughed.  “Okay, Joey!”  Shaking his head, he went to take a shower.

        “What’s your rush?” Drew asked.

        “Nothing,” Nick said.  “Cook faster,” he told Brian.

        “If you want it to go faster, you could try helping,” Drew suggested.

        “That actually makes it go slower,” Nick said.  “I’m kind of anti-helpful.”

        “You should know that by now,” Brian told Drew.

        “That would change if you had more practice,” Drew said to Nick.

        “I don’t want to practice,” Nick said.  “I’m okay with the way things are.”

        “Do you think it’s fair that Brian cooks for you and you never cook for him?” Drew asked.

        “No, but you cook for him sometimes, just like he cooks for you.  That’s why I got two of you.”

        “That’s not why you got two of us,” Brian said.

        “No, there’s laundry, too,” Nick said.  “And that whole dusting thing.”

        “I will never give up on you,” Drew said.  “Someday, you’ll cook and clean like the intelligent adult you are.”

        “It’s good for you to have goals,” Nick said.  “That’s nice.”

        “Thanks,” Drew said.  “I’m pretty happy with them.”

        “Is the food ready yet?” Nick asked Brian.

        “No.  Find something to do.  Play with Drew,” Brian said.

        “Come here,” Nick said.

        Drew came around the table to stand in front of him.

        “Up,” Nick said.

        Drew pulled himself up to sit on the table.

        Nick stood between Drew’s thighs, running his thumb across Drew’s full lower lip.  “I’ve been doing a lot of thinking about a lot of stuff.”

        “Did you figure anything out?” Drew asked.

        “I don’t know,” Nick said.  “I think I’m going to start calling you Andrew.”

        “You’ve spent all day pondering serious personal issues, and that’s what you got out of it?” Drew asked.

        “No, I got that out of the last thirty seconds,” Nick said.

        “What are you going to start calling Brian?” Drew asked.

        “Brian,” Nick said.

        “Good choice,” Drew said.

        Nick touched Drew’s mouth.  “After we eat, can you suck my dick?”

        Drew watched Nick’s eyes focus on his lower lip.  “Yes.”

        Nick licked his lips.

        Drew’s gaze was drawn to Nick’s mouth, his hand reaching for the front of Nick’s shirt.

        “I want it soft,” Nick said, leaning in, his lashes lowered halfway over his lust-filled gaze.  “Soft, and slow.”

        “Slow,” Drew murmured, his grip tightening of its own accord to pull Nick closer.

        “I want you to suck it, and suck it, and suck it, and think about how much you want me to be fucking you.”

        “So much,” Drew whispered, his mouth mere inches from Nick’s.

        “I want you to be burning hot inside from wanting it,” Nick said, leaning impossibly closer.

        “On fire,” Drew breathed, his lips almost brushing Nick’s.

        “Look at that!” Brian said cheerfully.  “Dinner’s ready!”

        Nick lifted his head, backing up, running his hand through his hair.  “Great,” he said, flashing a grin.  “Let’s eat.”

        Drew blinked at his empty hand.

        “Anything,” Justin said, instantly closing Joey’s refrigerator, turning to give JC his full attention.

        JC handed him sheet music.  “These are the songs that I wrote for you.”

        Justin’s eyes were alert.  “The ones I can’t hear?”

        “Yes.”  JC touched his forehead.  “I think it’s time.  I don’t want to keep anything from you anymore.  These are the secrets of my soul, so deep no one but you can fully understand them.”

        Justin read the first page.  Halfway through, pain crossed his face.  By the bottom of the page, he was sinking to his knees.  He set the papers on the floor, pushing the first page to the side, putting one palm to the floor for support.  By the end of the second page, he was wiping tears from his face, blinking to clear his vision enough to read.

        JC was moved by Justin’s emotion, but didn’t step forward to interfere.

        Justin pushed aside the second page, baring the emotion of the third.  He shuddered soundlessly, pressing his hand to his heart as though to ease its pain.

        Justin paused at the end of the first song, bringing his emotions back under control.  When his tears had ended, he began the second song.  His gaze travelled slowly over the first page.  His hand crept under his shirt.  His fingers twisted his nipple.  Desire colored his face.  His erection grew a ridge inside his pants.

        By the end of the last song, two hours had passed, during which Justin had wept uncontrollably, had a laughing fit, and come in his pants.  Tear tracks stained his cheeks; his shirt was on the floor from when he’d shed it to feel himself up.

        He gathered the scattered pages together, putting them in order.  JC knelt before him, taking his hands.

        Justin looked into JC’s eyes.  He frowned, eyes narrowing with intense focus as through searching for something.

        “Justin?” JC asked, wiping a stray tear from Justin’s cheek.

        “You can’t contain all of that emotion in one person, JC.”

        “I don’t,” JC said.  “I share it with you.”

        Justin shook his head.

        JC let him stare, quite frankly staring back.

        Justin closed his eyes, pulling JC into a tight embrace.  “JC,” he whispered, his voice breaking.

        “It’s all true,” JC said, holding him close.  “Every word, baby, it’s all for you.  I can’t express what I feel for you only through love, there are so many emotions.”

        “It’s everything I feel,” Justin said.  “It’s everything that’s true.  I knew you understood me.  I knew you felt what I feel.”

        “You are what I feel,” JC whispered.  “Oh, baby, it lives inside me every day, I had to express it.”

        “It’s beautiful,” Justin said.  “It’s you, it’s amazing.  They’ll all understand the words and sing along with it on the radio and play it while they screw, but no one will ever comprehend what it’s really saying.”

        “You’re everything there is,” JC whispered.

        Justin’s embrace tightened.  “Make love to me.”

        “Enter at your own risk,” Joey said.

        Lance stepped into the dining room.  “Wow.”  Romantic candle lighting.  Fine china, expensive silver.  Baskets of flowers on the floor.  Joey in a well-tailored dark suit.

        “Don’t stand there staring,” Joey said.  “Sit down.  Eat.”

        “You look great,” Lance said, still feeling somewhat flabbergasted.  “Everything looks great.”

        “I hope you’re not waiting for me to pull out your chair,” Joey said.

        Lance gave him a look and sat.

        Joey picked up a wine bottle, then hesitated.  “Do you…”

        “Yeah, it’s okay,” Lance said.

        Joey poured.  “It didn’t all start out to be like this.  I was just going to make spaghetti or something simple.  Then my mother said spaghetti isn’t date food, and everything snowballed from there.”

        “You didn’t tell her - - she doesn’t know about us,” Lance said.

        “No, I told her,” Joey said.

        “You did?”  Lance almost didn’t believe it.  He also didn’t believe that Joey was serving him, but Joey was piling food on his plate.

        “She didn’t seem surprised,” Joey said.

        “She knew you were bi?” Lance asked.

        “She knew I had a thing for you.”

        “Yeah, technically,” Nick said.  “But they don’t want anything to do with me.”

        “No, not them,” Brian said.  “Us.”

        “You’re not blood,” Nick said.

        “Yes, we are,” Brian said.  “We’re part of each other now.  The three of us.”

        “You know what that means,” Drew said.  “That means you’re related to our families, too.”

        “Yes, it does,” Brian said.  “You’re related to Kevin now.  And to Nick.”

        “That’s not…  You think so?” Nick asked.

        “Absolutely,” Brian said, his touch soothing.

        “Nick and I are brothers?” Nick asked.  “Kevin’s my cousin!  He has to treat me better now.”

        “Kevin treats you just fine,” Brian said.

        “Do I have to treat him better now?” Nick asked.

        Brian smiled.  “No.  I think he likes it.”

        “I have a family,” Nick said.

        “A real family,” Drew said.  “One you chose.  One who chose you.”

        “This is a good family,” Nick said.  “Nick is my brother and my brother-in-law?  That doesn’t sound right.”

        “It’s a new kind of family,” Drew said.

        “It’s a little creative,” Brian said.

        “We weren’t that conventional to begin with, so it should be okay,” Drew said.

        “It’s a good family,” Nick said.  “I like it.”  He kissed Brian.  “Hey, wait.”  He turned to Drew.  “Isn’t there something you should be doing?”

        Drew looked around.  “Flossing?” he guessed.

        Nick kissed his lips.  “Do you remember now?”

        “Yes,” Drew said, meeting Nick’s eyes.

        “I want it right now, right here,” Nick said.  “I want you to worship it.  I want you to think about how much you want to feel it pumping inside you.”

        Drew’s breathing quickened.

        “You want it in your mouth,” Nick said, lowering his voice, gazing into Drew’s eyes.  “You want to suck it.”

        Drew’s lips parted.

        “You love it because it’s mine,” Nick said.  “You want it because it’s mine.  Tell me how much you want me.”

        Drew swallowed, aching desire shining from his eyes.

        “Show me.”

        Drew was kneeling on the floor and unzipping Nick’s jeans in seconds.  Brian stared in shocked, aroused disbelief.  He had no idea how Nick had developed that kind of mind control over Drew.  He also had no idea what to look at first.  Nick’s dick hardening, thickening, Drew’s hand moving over it in a tight, experienced grip.  Nick’s head dropping back, his hair falling away from his face.  Drew’s lips parting, Drew’s pink tongue against the flushed skin of Nick’s erection.  Nick’s eyes fluttering shut, Nick’s lips parting.  Drew’s mouth closing over the head, Nick’s dick disappearing between his soft lips.

        Brian’s dick ached in sympathy with Nick’s gentle groan.  Drew moaned, too, backing off, licking up the shaft before nursing the head while making soft wanting, pleasured sounds that made Brian’s blood run faster.  Drew’s hands were tugging down Nick’s pants, stroking Nick’s thighs with wanton fascination.  Nick was breathing faster, licking his lips, gripping the cushion under him, trying to hold still.

        Drew moaned, sucking harder.  Nick shuddered.

        Brian always had been drawn to Nick when Nick was deep in pleasure.  Nick was unexpectedly susceptible to pleasure tonight, possibly because his emotional nerves were rubbed raw.  Nick’s color was heightened, and he’d begun chewing on his lower lip, and he was making uneasy, close-to-orgasm noises.  Drew was picking up the pace, licking greedily, sucking eagerly, and Brian’s dick got harder.  Nick was going to come.  Soon.  Brian wanted it.

        Nick licked his lips.  Pink tongue.  Red lips.  Nick wanted to be sucking on something, too, and Brian wanted to kiss him, wanted to, yes, oh, god, yes.  Brian turned, reaching for Nick, intending to kiss Nick’s mouth.

        Drew’s hand rose up and pushed Brian back into place, firmly, then returned to Nick.

        Brian swallowed, holding still, dick throbbing.

        Drew’s wet lips slid down to the base of Nick’s dick as Drew swallowed, taking Nick down his throat.  Nick moaned, and Drew pulled off and slid back on, finding an easy tempo.  Nick groaned, shaking his head, getting a white-knuckled grip on the cushion.  Drew moaned, spreading his own thighs.  Wanting Nick, wanting to service Drew, Brian heard himself panting rapidly, fighting the urge to ease the ache between his legs.

        Nick’s back arched.  “Drew,” he moaned, squeezing his eyes shut tighter.

        Drew growled, his hands gripping Nick’s hips.

        “Ah, ah, oh,” and Nick shuddered, groaning, coming.

        Brian ached with love for him, wanting to touch, to admire, to experience.

        The head of Nick’s cock popped obscenely from between Drew’s wet lips.  Eyes dark and shining, hands eager with greed, Drew climbed up Nick, onto him, latching onto his mouth.  “Fuck me,” Drew ordered, and sucked on Nick’s tongue, hands pulling up Nick’s shirt.

        Nick kissed him back, easing his grip.  “Drew, angel, Drew.  Hold on.”

        Drew rested his forehead on Nick’s, closing his eyes, threading his fingers back through Nick’s hair.  “I want you,” he whispered.  “I want you so much.  There’s so much need inside…”

        “Drew,” Nick said, and kissed him, licking into his mouth.  “Come upstairs.”

        “Is it too soon?” Drew asked, opening his eyes.  “Do you want to?”

        “Come upstairs with me,” Nick said.  His hands rubbed up and down the backs of Drew’s thighs.  “I’ll tell you what I want.”

        But the best thing about the night was their rapport.  It was a pleasant relief to know that he and Joey could still talk over dinner about anything and everything, the way they’d done for years.  He felt as though he and Joey were legitimately closer than ever, and it was good to know that.  He’d wanted to deepen their existing relationship, not end it for the sake of sex.

        He hadn’t guessed that he could share nights like these with Joey.  Maybe he should have known better.

        Tonight was something to savor.  He wanted this feeling to last.  And the more Joey smiled at him like that, the more he thought that, maybe, it just might.

        Drew sat up, intending to protest, when Brian pushed him back down, climbing over him.  Brian’s kisses were breathtaking, and Brian’s hands stripped him efficiently, leaving him naked.  “I know what you want,” Brian whispered.  Just as Drew was wondering what Brian meant, he felt the slow, insistent rubbing of Brian’s finger against his asshole.  His muscles contracted, and his heart pounded.  That was what he wanted, what Nick had made him want, and now he wanted that desire to be satisfied, wanted to experience that unique, powerful sensation.

        “Roll over,” Brian urged, one hand pushing on his hip.  “I want to help you,” Brian whispered, and licked Drew’s lower lip.

        Tongue.  Brian’s tongue.  It wouldn’t satisfy him, but it would feel good, so good, so very wonderfully good.  Drew met Brian’s eyes, then turned onto his stomach.

        Nick grinned, taking the box out of its hiding place.  Quietly, under the sounds of Drew’s soft panting and Brian’s gentle licking, he sliced through the packing tape.

        Oh, hell.  Jackpot.  Nick’s grin widened.  He unpackaged everything, setting it by the foot of the bed.

        Drew was making needy, unsatisfied sounds, and Brian was licking roughly, hands on Drew’s hips holding him still.  Nick touched Brian’s back; Brian sat up, taking the lube from him.  “Roll over,” Nick said, stroking Drew’s back.  Drew rolled over, his erection an angry dark color, his kiss demanding as he dragged Nick to his mouth.  “I want to fuck you with my fingers,” Nick told Drew.

        Drew made an urgent sound of agreement and kissed him harder.

        Brian’s lube-wet fingers rubbed over Nick’s, slicking them.  Nick made Drew lay back again, then eased two fingers inside Drew, gently twisting them deeper.  Drew moaned, raising his knees, sucking harder on Nick’s tongue.  Nick’s fingers fucked Drew slowly, eliciting a constant stream of moans.  When Nick added a third finger, Drew dropped back, breaking their kiss, arching and panting, fisting his own dick.  “How does that feel?” Nick asked.

        “Fuck me,” Drew panted.  “I want...I want…inside…in me…”

        Nick glanced at Brian, to make sure he was listening; Brian was paying rapt attention, staring at where Nick’s fingers were disappearing into Drew’s body, listening to every word.  Nick smiled to himself and pushed his fingers deeper.

        “Fist me,” Drew panted.

        Brian’s breathing stopped.

        “Drew,” Nick said.  “I want to put something inside you.”

        Drew’s brow creased.

        “I bought some toys, some new toys,” Nick said.  “I want to put one of them in you, to see how it feels.  If you don’t like it, I’ll stop.”  He rubbed Drew’s prostate.

        Drew moaned, rocking his hips.

        “The little white one, on the floor,” Nick said to Brian.  Brian turned to get it.  “Drew, I’m going to put it in you.  If you don’t like it, I’ll take it out.”

        Brian turned back to him, eyes wide.  “Nick,” he whispered.

        Nick grinned.  “I wanted an assortment.”  He took his fingers from Drew, who made an angry, disappointed noise.  Slicking the slim white vibrator, Nick gently, carefully inserted it inside Drew’s body.

        Drew made a sound of discomfort, his eyes uncertain.

        Nick pushed it in farther, flicking the switch.

        Muted humming.

        Drew’s eyes widened.

        Nick gently slid it out and pushed it in deeper.  It was shorter and slimmer than Nick’s dick or Brian’s, providing pleasurable stimulation but also easy for Drew to handle.  The smooth, light vibration made Drew’s internal muscles contract in confusion, and for a moment, he didn’t know what to think.  Then Nick found the right angle and it vibrated right against Drew’s prostate.

        Drew gasped, his dick twitching.

        Nick grinned.  “Was that a yes?”

        Drew closed his eyes, concentrating on the sensation.  “It’s not you,” he said, drawing his knees up, “but it’s not bad.  Stop moving for a minute.”

        Nick let go.

        Drew arched his back slightly, smiling a little.

        “Slut,” Nick mouthed at Brian.  Brian smacked his arm.

        “You’re bigger,” Drew said, opening his eyes.  “This is nice but it’s not enough.”

        “You want to see what else we got?” Nick asked.

        “Yeah,” Drew said.

        Nick slipped out the slim white one, flicking off the vibration.  “Here you go,” he said, leaning off of the bed, coming back with a pile of sex toys, dropping them on the bed.

        Drew sat up, staring.

        Brian curled his fingers in, fighting the itch to snatch one up and use it on Nick.

        “They don’t all vibrate,” Nick said.  “Some of them are just dildos.”

        Drew bunched the sheet over his lap.  “You don’t need that many.”

        “I like variety,” Nick said.  “Hold one.”

        “I think I prefer natural sex,” Drew said.

        “They won’t bite,” Nick said, offering one.

        Drew held it gingerly, looking at it.

        “See, most of them have a very natural shape,” Nick said.  “You can have a long one, or a short thick one, or one with a big head, whatever you want.”

        “No one would actually put that in their body,” Drew said, looking at the purple one.  “Do women, does that fit?”

        “Sure,” Nick said.  “We can work up to it.”

        “You’re not putting that anywhere near me,” Drew said.  It had a few inches on him, both in length and girth, with an oversized head.

        “Coward,” Nick said.

        “You use it,” Drew challenged.

        Brian tucked his hands under his thighs.

        “We could use it on Brian,” Nick suggested with a gleam in his eye.

        “Oh, no,” Brian said, looking from Nick to Drew and back again.  “Not me.”

        “You could talk him into it,” Nick told Drew.

        Drew eyed Brian, licking his lips.

        “No,” Brian told Nick.

        “Later,” Drew decided.

        Brian inwardly breathed a sigh of relief.

        “Here, this one is more my size,” Nick said to Drew. “Mine’s not orange, but whatever.”  He slicked it with lube.  “Lay back.”

        Drew eyed Nick with a bit of trepidation.  “Is this a good idea?”

        “It’s a great idea,” Nick said.  “I promise you’ll get the real thing later.  Give it a chance.”  He leaned in, touching Drew’s mouth.  “I always give you what you want,” he said, lowering his voice, stroking Drew’s lower lip.  “Who knows what you need more than we do?”  He kissed Drew, lowering Drew’s back to the mattress.  “I know what your body’s craving,” he whispered, and licked his own lips, millimeters from Drew’s mouth, making Drew pant with desire.  “It feels so good, doesn’t it?”

        “So good,” Drew breathed, transfixed.

        “You get high from it,” Nick said.  “It takes you places nothing else does.”  His knuckle pressed to Drew’s perineum and Drew moaned, eyes closing.  Nick lined up the vibrator.  “Let it in,” he whispered, and carefully pushed.  Drew’s eyes opened and he kissed Drew, putting Drew back in the moment.  While his kiss distracted from reality, he worked the vibrator in deeper.  Setting it humming, he began to move it, in and out, in and out, kissing Drew harder.

        Drew made an urgent, confused noise, cupping Nick’s face in both hands, deepening their kiss.  Without looking, Nick signalled to Brian.  Brian’s hand came between Nick’s legs from behind, taking over, leaving both of Nick’s hands free to pet Drew, caressing his chest, stroking his dick.

        Brian, more experienced in this than Nick, altered the angle slightly, increasing the tempo.

        Drew moaned, clutching at Nick’s shirt, his dick leaking precum.  “More,” he said, his kiss increasingly aggressive.  “Oh,” he said, and moaned louder, pulling on Nick’s hips.

        Nick tongue-fucked him, jacking his dick.  Pre-cum flowed freely from the head of Drew’s dick, and he began to make close-to-orgasm sounds.

        Nick’s erection strained the fly of his pants.  He wanted badly to be fucking Drew, and Drew’s demanding enthusiasm had him incredibly hard.  The way Drew was kissing him, alone, was enough to make him want to plunge deep inside Drew and rut away until satiation overtook them both.

        Drew gripped Nick’s ass in both hands, panting, making urgent “uh, uh, uh” noises.

        Nick let go of Drew’s dick, lifting his hand.

        Brian adjusted his grip just so and fucked Drew a shade more forcefully.

        Drew tensed, then convulsed, letting out a low, overwhelmed moan as cum spurted over his chest in long streams.

        “Damn,” Nick said.

        “Stop or keep going?” Brian asked quietly.

        “Keep going,” Nick said.  “He can take it.  His body wants it.”  He ran a finger down the center of Drew’s chest.  “Drew angel.”

        Drew shivered.

        Nick licked cum from Drew’s nipple.  “You can do this any time you want to.  You can learn how to use it on yourself.  Then when you’re away from us, and you miss us, and you want to feel the way we make you feel, you can do this.  Your body doesn’t know, your body thinks it’s us.”  He kissed under Drew’s chin.  “Now you can create this feeling whenever you want to.”

        “I can’t do this,” Drew said, panting.  “Nick, I…  Nick…  Oh…”  A spasm of pleasure crossed his face.  He moaned, beginning to rock his hips.  “I want…”

        “I know,” Nick said.  “Hold on.”

        “Don’t…  Don’t…”

        “Ssshhh,” Nick said, stroking his stomach, his thighs.  “Easy, angel.”

        Drew’s hips were in motion, his muscles taut, his toes curling.

        “Ride it out,” Nick said.  “Feel it, let it come.”

        Drew gripped Nick’s back, fingers flexing.

        “I have you, I’ve got you, I’m right here,” Nick said, rubbing Drew’s hips.  “Do you want more?  Bigger?  Thicker?  It’ll fill you up, it’ll feel so good.”

        “No,” Drew said, “no, no, no,” and he moaned, hips jacking upward sharply, fingers digging into Nick’s back, shooting a fresh load of cum onto his chest.  “Nick,” he said, and his eyes rolled back in his head.

        “Okay, stop,” Nick said to Brian.  “Enough?” he asked Drew.

        Brian eased the vibrator out with a subtle twist.

        Drew shivered, then began to relax, running his hands over Nick’s shoulders.  “You,” he said.  “I want you.”

        “Are you sure?” Nick asked.  “I have to tell you, I won’t last long.”

        “That doesn’t matter,” Drew said.  “I just want to feel you.”

        Nick breathed a little easier once he undid his fly and got his erection out of the confines of his clothes.  Drew’s leg settled familiarly over his shoulder, and he got himself into position.  One soft kiss to Drew’s lips, and Nick pushed in, sliding home with one smooth thrust.

        Drew twisted.  “Oh.”

        Nick’s hips retreated before bucking forward, seeking long-desired friction.  His erection thrived and gloried in the feel of Drew’s heat.  There was a touch at his back, the intimacy of Brian’s fingers crawling beneath his shirt.  A quick tingle ran down Nick’s spine.

        Beneath him, Drew moaned, a lust-filled sound, and Drew’s fingers pulled at the front of his shirt, drawing him closer.  Nick fucked faster, surrounded by desire.  How could he have forgotten that Drew would never be satisfied?

        Brian stroked his spine, painting circles with his sweat.

        Drew clutched the backs of his thighs, keeping him in place, urging him closer.

        Nick groaned, feeling his balls drawing up to his body.

        Drew moaned.

        “Nick,” Brian whispered.

        Nick fought back orgasm.

        Drew groaned, raising his hips.

        He could still hear Brian’s voice, whispering his name, circling in his brain.  He closed his eyes and thrust hard and came, moaning, moaning Drew’s name, and Brian’s.  He dropped forward, over Drew, weak.

        Drew whimpered, softly, by his ear.

        Nick pushed himself up, stripping out of his clothes, rolling into his back, sweating, panting.

        Brian crawled towards him.

        Drew rolled out of the way.

        Nick’s eyes widened.

        Brian’s hand landed on Nick’s ankle, moving Nick’s leg aside.

        “Weird?” Lance asked.  “Like what?”

        “Like ripping open your shirt and spilling wine down your chest so I can lick it off.”  He ran his finger around the rim of his wine glass.  “Can I try it?”

        “Are you serious?” Lance asked.

        “What can you sit on that you don’t mind spilling wine on?” Joey asked, getting up.

        “You’re serious,” Lance said, rising more slowly.

        “Come sit on the kitchen floor,” Joey said.  “Come on,” he repeated, when Lance didn’t move.

        “Why are you having this urge?” Lance asked, walking.

        “I don’t know, but it’s not as bad as what I wanted to do with the marinara sauce,” Joey said.  “Sit.”

        Lance sat on the floor.  “This is crazy.”

        Joey knelt in front of him.  “Raise your knees and lean back on your elbows.”

        Lance planted his feet flat on the floor, leaning back.

        Joey unbuttoned Lance’s shirt with suddenly trembling fingers.  Pushing it back to hang open, he ran his hand down Lance’s chest.

        “You’re in trouble when this gets on my pants,” Lance said.

        Joey leaned forward, kissing Lance’s nipple, wetting it with his tongue.  “I want you,” he said, trying not to moan it, wrapping his arm around Lance’s waist, pulling Lance’s hips forward.  He raised his head, licking Lance’s voicebox.  “Every time I even think about touching you, this orgasmic sensation rolls through my mind.  I don’t know what it is about you.”

        “You’re in love with me,” Lance said.

        Joey kissed him passionately, opening Lance’s fly with one hand.

        “Wait,” Lance said.  “Wait.  Do it,” he said.  “The wine.”

        Leaning over Lance, Joey tipped the wine glass above Lance’s shoulder.  The cool, red liquid splashed onto Lance’s collarbone, streaming down the center of his chest.  Joey quickly set down the glass, ducking his head, sipping wine from Lance’s chest, licking it from Lance’s abs, sucking it from Lance’s nipples.  He licked up to Lance’s neck, tugging Lance’s pants down, pushing two fingers into Lance’s body.  He licked down, venturing into new territory, twisting his fingers deeper.  Wine trickled down into Lance’s pubic hair, and Joey lapped at it, his dick hardening at the low, sexy moan vibrating up from Lance’s chest.

        Lance’s dick was thickening, lengthening.  Joey hesitated, then ran his tongue over the head of it.  Lance tensed, making a surprised noise.  Joey licked his lips, then licked again.  Lance’s flesh was warm, and the skin on Lance’s dick was silky-soft, and he tasted a faint lingering of soap mingled with a faint lingering of sweat.  Salt.  Musk.  It was kind of nice.  He liked it.  He licked around the base, running his tongue up the shaft, up the thick vein along the underside.  Lance was making new noises, noises Joey had never heard before.  Shocked noises.  He licked up more wine and more Lance.  His stomach felt weird, too light, inside-out, and his dick was stiff and cramped in his pants.  He licked around some more, taking a tour.  He liked the way Lance tasted, and the way Lance’s dick twitched and hardened under his attention, and the odd sex noises Lance was making.  He fucked Lance more slowly with his fingers, rubbing gently over Lance’s prostate.  Pre-cum started leaking from the head, and he licked at it, tasting it on his tongue.  Salty, bitter, thicker than he’d expected.

        “Joey.  Joey.”  Breathless, sexy.  Joey lapped up more wine and Lance, raising his eyes.  “You’re killing me,” Lance said.  A red blush was creeping up his chest and building in his cheeks; he’d begun to sweat.  “Learn when to move on.”

        “I’ve been told I’m very good with my tongue,” Joey said.

        “Yes, you are,” Lance said.  “How good are you with suction?”

        Joey smiled.  “Let’s find out.”  He pushed his fingers in as deep as they would go, using his other hand to bring Lance’s erection to his lips.  He took the head into his mouth, protecting sensitive skin from his teeth.  Lance’s dick drooled pre-cum onto his tongue, and he swallowed reflexively.

        Lance made a weak, overwhelmed noise.

        Joey eased down on Lance’s erection, carefully taking in more.  Inch by inch, he let it travel between his lips, feeling it pulse on his tongue.  He wasn’t ready to take it all the way, so he jacked the shaft while he backed up a little for another try.

        “Lord, Jesus,” Lance moaned, thumping his head back on the floor.

        Joey sucked the head back into his mouth, fisting the shaft, fucking Lance with his fingers.  He liked the feeling of Lance’s dick in his mouth, liked how warm and silky and hard it was, liked turning Lance on, liked having Lance splayed out and vulnerable to him.  He sucked harder, wondering how much was too much.

        “Joey, Joey,” Lance said, and Lance’s breathing hitched.  “Stop, stop, I’m going to come, I’m, fuck…”  He groaned.

        Joey backed up, yanking his own fly open, taking his dick out.  He spat in his hand, spreading spit and pre-cum over his erection, grasping Lance’s hips and pulling Lance to him.  He thrust in, feeling Lance clamp down around him, rocking forward as Lance’s groan of pleasured protest reverberated in his ears.  He was consumed by desire, moved by passion, blindly aware of Lance’s hand moving down between their bodies.  Then Lance was tensing under him, around him, and Lance’s other hand was pushing-pulling at his shirt, and Lance’s head fell back, and he felt the hot splash of jism on his stomach.  He came hard, jetting cum deep into Lance, hearing nothing but the low, satisfied groan from Lance’s throat.

        “That was fun,” Drew said weakly.

        Brian laughed.

        “Somebody bit me,” Nick said.

        “That was me,” Drew said.  “On your hip?”

        “On my shoulder,” Nick said.

        “That was me,” Brian said.

        Nick pushed himself to sit up.  “The two of you should come with warning labels.  Drew: Be aware that contents will explode under pressure.  Brian: Run, don’t walk, as far away as possible.”

        Drew laughed.

        “I’m not that bad,” Brian said, sitting up, pulling Drew up, too.

        “You can’t look at me without my body having massive hormonal surges,” Nick said.  “You speak and I start coming.  Don’t even try to touch me.”

        “I know what that’s like,” Drew said, leaning into Nick.  “I can’t think about you without my hormones going whoosh.”

        “Whoosh?” Nick asked.

        “Whoosh,” Drew agreed.

        Nick kissed his temple.  “I’m not sorry.”

        Drew smiled.  “I like it.  It can be a little alarming, but I like it.”

        “Come on, everybody has to go to sleep.”  Nick reached for scattered pillows.  “I call middle.”

        Brian tucked in on the alarm clock side, pulling Drew beside him.  Nick wedged in between them, passing out pillows.  They all cuddled down together, a naked sandwich.  “Love,” Nick said, kissing Brian, kissing Drew.

        “Love,” Brian said, kissing Drew.

        “Love,” Drew said, ignoring the pillow in favor of Nick’s chest.

        “Let’s play with our new toys again tomorrow night,” Nick said.

        “Okay,” Brian said.

        “No way,” Drew said.

        “We can use them on Brian,” Nick continued.

        “Okay,” Drew said.

        “No way,” Brian said.

        Nick grinned.  “You guys are fun.”

        Now he was in the circle of Joey’s arms, with Joey’s warmth at his back, looking into the darkness while his mind worked.

        “Lance,” Joey said softly.

        “I’m in love with you,” Lance said.

        Joey moved away from him.

        Lance felt…nothing.

        The lamp clicked on; Joey tugged at him until he rolled to his back.  “What?” Joey asked.  “Do you know what you said to me?”

        “I love you,” Lance said.  He ran his fingertips down Joey’s nose, across Joey’s cheeks.  He smiled.  Now he felt something.  Light, hope, peace.  Love, warmth, desire.  Quiet whispers of fear, that he refused to indulge.  He kissed Joey’s surprised mouth.

        “What are you trying to say?” Joey asked.

        Lance almost laughed.  “I’m in love with you.  I can’t turn it off.  Whatever happens between us is going to happen.  Whatever pain you cause me I’m going to feel.  Whether I tell you or not doesn’t matter, it doesn’t give you power over me that you don’t already have.  You’re in love with me, and I’m in love with you, and I want you to know.  I want you to know it because I feel it, because you deserve it.”

        Joey kissed him impulsively, then touched his cheek.  “I love you.  I’ll take care of you.”

        “I don’t need to be taken care of,” Lance said.  He looked down, then met Joey’s eyes again.  “I do, a little, right now.  But I won’t always.  I’m getting over it.  I’m getting over myself.”

        “Why?” Joey asked.  “What changed?”

        “You loved me,” Lance said.  “You wouldn’t let me go too far.  You pulled me back.  You got me to pull myself back.”  Joey’s kiss was passionate.  “Don’t break me,” Lance whispered.

        “I’ll take care of you,” Joey promised.  “You take care of me.”