Copyright April 2, 2002-December 15, 2003 by Matthew Haldeman-Time

Rating: NC-17 for graphic male-male sex

Pairings: Thus far we've had JC/Justin, Nick/Drew/Brian, Nick/Jeff, Nick/Drew/Brian/Nick/Jeff, AJ/Lance, AJ/Howie, AJ/Kevin, Chris/Howie, and partridge/pear tree.

Disclaimer: The young men who comprise the Backstreet Boys, *NSYNC, and 98 Degrees are their own people. The author has not met anyone here described, nor does the author mean to suggest that these people act this way in real life. This writing is a work of fiction. I make no money from this venture.

Dedication: This slashfic is for Ewan McGregor and the Savage Garden slashwriters.

Notice: First, read "I Need You Tonight," "Boy Lead the Way to Ecstasy," "Not Easy," "No One," "Rest in Peace," "Destiny," and "Together." I know it sounds like a lot, but it'll only take you an hour or two.

Please be aware: Part 51 begins a few hours back in time.  The first half of this part takes place during the events of part 50.  Then, beginning when Chris wakes up in the morning, the timelines converge.

        “Oh, god, JC…”

        JC took Justin’s hips in his hands, lifting them, his thumbs spreading the halves of Justin’s ass, and licked down, tongue probing the entrance to Justin’s body.

        “JC, oh my god, JC…”  Justin arched his back, trying not to scream.  JC was hitting every spot, and going too fast, and it wasn’t fair, he couldn’t keep up, his body was still in shock from one sensation when JC delivered another.  Justin couldn’t absorb that kind of pleasure.  He hadn’t had JC in too long, and JC wasn’t the kind of thing that someone could just jump into.  JC was the kind of thing that needed to be built up to.  Baby steps.  Justin just knew he was going to be clawing at the walls in another five minutes.

        Just when the tongue-fuck stopped and Justin tried to breathe while his internal muscles clenched and contracted with greed, JC latched onto Justin’s pelvic bone.  Sucking.  Even biting.  Justin cried out in an agony of pleasure, rolling onto his side to get away.

        JC’s hands caught him, drawing him back.  “There’s need in you, baby,” he said, and his touch should have been reassuring, but it set Justin on fire.  “I just want to help you.  Let me ease the ache.  I don’t want to feed the need, Justin, I just want to soothe your pain.”  He put his mouth to Justin’s nipple and sucked at it, licking, until Justin begged him to stop.  The second he took his mouth from it, he put his thumb to it, rubbing at it, flicking it, making Justin grab JC and roll them over until Justin was on top, just to make it stop.

        On his back, JC slid down, wrapping his arms around Justin’s waist, kissing Justin’s stomach, licking his abs, tongue-fucking his navel.  He was murmuring something like “taste so good,” his hands slipping to caress Justin’s hips.

        Justin’s cock throbbed mere millimeters from JC’s mouth, spitting precum to get JC’s attention.  Justin couldn’t let JC suck his dick, because he knew that it would be too much, it would be unbearable, it would be the end of him.  He hooked his hand under JC’s chin and guided JC up, at the same time crawling down.  He didn’t have any true aim, other than to get JC away from his erection; but the moment that they came face-to-face, JC kissed him.

        Justin was lost.  He couldn’t see or hear or feel or breathe.  All he knew was the wild collision splintering his brain, and the spontaneous rush of ecstasy that JC’s kisses always unleashed upon his body.  He was moaning, he thought, or maybe that was JC.  They were rolling across the bed, and he could feel JC’s erection rocking against his, and he was going to come if he didn’t die.  Or die if he didn’t come.

        “Oh, Justin, baby, let me make love to you.”  JC kissed his cheek, kissed his temple, licked his eyebrow, kissed his forehead, licked his hairline.  “Let me live inside you, Justin.”

        Justin couldn’t take it, JC so close, JC all around, JC’s hands on his face and in his hair, surrounded by JC.  It was too much JC, overwhelming, and he was grateful when JC’s focus shifted.

        On top of him, JC was sliding down his body again, spreading his thighs, lifting his knees.  There was licking again, and Justin twisted, but JC held his hips still in a strong grip.  Then JC’s hands were off of him, and Justin was so surprised, he didn’t trust it.  It was a trap.  He held still, and braced himself, closing his hands into tight fists.

        Wet, touching, pressing, entering, and Justin was a wild thing, untamed, twisting, turning, on his stomach now, clawing the sheets right off of the bed, trying to get a grip on the bared mattress.  The touch persisted, exploring him intimately, stroking him from the inside, setting off fireworks inside his body.  JC was covering his back, kissing his shoulders, kissing the back of his head, whispering things in his ears, things like, “Ssshhh, Justin, baby,” and, “I’ll stop if you tell me to, if you say ‘stop.’”  But he couldn’t say it, he couldn’t even imagine the word rising in his throat.  Not stop, never stop, only yes, and please, and JC, JC, JC.

        He couldn’t take the pleasure, but that wasn’t new; he’d always been overwhelmed by the ecstasy that JC visited upon his body.  The pleasure in and of itself wasn’t the problem; the problem was JC.  Justin wasn’t used to this anymore, and suddenly, now, JC was overwhelming, too much to handle, too much to bear.  Justin was only one person; he couldn’t survive everything that JC was doing to him.  He was going to go insane.

        JC’s finger withdrew from his body, and then JC was turning him over, onto his back.  Justin gazed up at JC, his chest heaving with overexcited breath.  JC’s touch grazed his collarbone and Justin’s fingers curled as his thighs spread.  JC had so much control over his body, it was like all he had to do was look into JC’s eyes to know what JC wanted from him, and feel compelled to do it.

        “Justin,” JC breathed, and kissed him, kissed him like it was the most intimate and satisfying thing they could do, kissed him like all they had was time.  Justin’s body was screaming, on fire, and he kissed back hungrily, desperately, trying to communicate his need for more.  How could JC work him up to this penultimate point, and then backtrack, leaving him hanging there at fever pitch?

        “Baby,” JC moaned, and Justin raised his leg over JC’s shoulder, hearing the words JC wasn’t saying.  The blunt head of JC’s erection pressed insistently against Justin’s asshole, and Justin dug his fingers into JC’s back for control.  JC thrust, entering his body, and Justin broke off their kiss, crying out wordlessly as pleasure branded him like a hot poker.

        JC surged deeper, and Justin reached back over his head, clawing at the headboard, searching for a handhold.  There was nothing there, nothing he could hold onto, but he couldn’t grip JC, couldn’t risk hurting JC.  Justin shoved his hands behind his head, under the pillow, knotting his fingers in the bedsheet.  It wasn’t stable enough, wasn’t secure enough, but he had no choice.

        “You feel so good, baby, you feel so good, Justin, your body, your love, you make me feel so good…”  JC bent Justin double, licking his lips.  Justin licked out, meeting JC’s tongue, moaning when JC retreated.  “Give back to me, baby, give me your love, give me your body.”  Justin wanted to give JC everything he had, everything he could; he unclenched his hands, reaching for JC.

        Justin stroked JC’s shoulders, caressed JC’s hair, ran his hands over JC’s back, JC’s chest.  He plucked at JC’s nipples, enjoying the sensitive hard nubs.  Then he touched JC’s face, stroking cheekbones, petting cheeks, finger-painting his own private pictures with JC’s sweat.  When he slid his finger inside JC’s open mouth, JC moaned, sucking on it.  Justin watched in fascination, his fingers disappearing into JC’s mouth.

        “Justin, Justin…”  JC’s hips were slowing, JC took Justin’s hand in his, backing off of Justin’s fingers, sucking instead on Justin’s thumb.  “Baby,” he said, kissing the back of Justin’s hand, giving a deep thrust and burying his dick as far as he could, leaning in to kiss Justin’s cheek.  “Let me suck you, baby, let me take you in my mouth.”

        Justin closed his eyes, whimpering softly as JC licked his cheek with a light flick of tongue.  “I want to…  I want…”

        “Justin,” JC whispered.

        “Please,” Justin said, his hands on JC’s ass, gently massaging.

        “Please what, Justin?” JC asked, touching his cheek.

        Justin’s eyes opened, agonized by unsatisfied hunger.  “Do…”  He shuddered.  “Do this, do this…”  Justin rocked slightly, moaning.  “This to, to me…”

        Justin was moving beneath JC in need, and JC couldn’t keep Justin in this state of hunger forever.  He put his hands on Justin’s hips, jerking Justin flush to his body, and ran his hands up over Justin’s ribcage, past Justin’s nipples, feeling the glide of Justin’s smooth skin and tight muscle under his palms all the way up to Justin’s shoulders.  Then he ran his hands back down, passing Justin’s hips, squeezing Justin’s thighs.  “Justin, baby, can you take more?”

        “No,” Justin said.

        “Be honest, baby.  You know your body.  You know how far I can push you.  Can you take more?”

        “I don’t want to, it’s been too long, I can’t,” Justin said.

        “Hold on for me,” JC said.  “You can do it, Justin.”

        “I…I can’t…I can’t…”  Justin tensed all over, trying to hold it in.  “JC, I can’t.”

        “You can,” JC said, sliding back and thrusting forward, picking up a slow, even rhythm.  “I’m just making love to you, baby.  That’s all this is.  Making love.  Sharing love, feeling good.  Let me share my love with you.”

        Justin wanted to scream, or cry, or explode.  He drew his limbs in, tensing, trying to keep the riot of feelings contained, fighting for control and losing.  Pleasure spiralled through his body, spinning from his nerve endings.  “JC,” he said, hoping that JC could keep him from flying apart.

        JC drew his fingertips down Justin’s naked chest.  “What are you feeling, baby?”

        Justin couldn’t speak, could only make wild suffering sounds, straining to express the agonizing build-up threatening to break through his skin.  He tried to communicate through his eyes, staring up at JC, trying to tell JC how he suffered, what he needed.

        JC’s hand curled soothingly around Justin’s hard erection, gently squeezing from base to tip before sliding down again to repeat the move.

        Justin moaned with relief, lifting his hips to meet JC’s hand, his dick plunging through the hold of JC’s fist.  The promise of orgasm was teasingly close; Justin twisted, pumping his hips, trying to work himself on JC’s cock at the same time he tried to fuck JC’s grip.  JC’s eyes were on him, enchanted, obsessed.  Justin reached back for the headboard again, fingers scrabbling across the wood for a handhold.  The hypnotic rhythm of JC’s hips was devastating, destroying, and Justin felt orgasm begin to take hold, begin to take over.

        JC knew it was coming, too.  “Come on, baby,” he urged, thrusting evenly, deeply.  “You can do it.”

        Justin couldn’t respond to JC’s words or looks or even JC’s touches.  He was already too far gone, past speech, swept up and trapped in a whirlwind.  He was lost in a confusing swirl of overstimulation, overcome by a rushing torrent of erotic force.  Justin came, a scream ripped from his throat by the unbearable pistoning of JC’s hips.

        Shattering explosions.

        Shuddering aftermath.

        The world was still.

        Justin breathed.

        Blue eyes opened.

        JC kissed him, pulling him onto his side, stroking the small of his back, rocking slightly against his hip, still rock-hard.

        Justin couldn’t take the feel of JC’s erection against his body again, couldn’t stand being touched and kissed, couldn’t stand being this near to JC.  It was too much, too close, and he found himself whimpering and moaning into JC’s kiss.

        JC began to back off, and Justin clutched at him, keeping him there, kissing him passionately.  JC insisted, breaking their kiss, stroking Justin’s hips.  “What is it, baby?”

        “What’s what?” Justin asked, trying to sound normal, shaking inside from the soft intensity of JC’s eyes.

        “Are you all right?” JC asked.  “Was it too much?”

        “I’m fine,” Justin said.  “It was good.”  He had to close his eyes when JC’s touch travelled down his thigh.

        “Justin,” JC said softly.  “Baby.”

        Justin inhaled, parting his lips.

        “What were you saying to me?  ‘Do this to me?’  Do what to you?”

        Justin shook his head, correcting him.  “Do this to me…again.”  JC’s erection was against his hip, distracting him, demanding his attention.

        “Do what to you again?” JC asked, stroking him with firm, soothing caresses.

        “Make me feel like that again,” Justin said.  He undulated, following JC’s touch.  “Lay me open and set me on fire.”

        “Look at me,” JC said.  “Justin.”

        Justin opened his eyes, catching JC’s gaze.  “Baby?”

        JC kissed him, then looked into his eyes again.  “Justin, talk to me.  Tell me if something’s too much or too soon.”

        “It’s not that, it’s not what we’re doing, it’s you,” Justin said.  “You’re too much.”

        “What can I do?” JC asked, concerned.

        “Do it again,” Justin said.  “Do it again.  Burn me alive.”

        “Justin,” JC said.  “Are you sure you’re all right?”

        “I’m fine,” Justin said, hoping that he sounded reassuring.

        “What do you want me to do?” JC asked, his hand skimming Justin’s biceps.

         “Do it to me again,” Justin said, and pulled JC in for a long, passionate kiss.

        “Justin,” JC said, resisting the orgasm that was trying to take over his body.  “Baby,” he said, rubbing Justin’s side.  Justin looked at him, eyes focusing on his face, hands fisting on the pillow under Justin’s head as Justin moved with restless, desperate need.  “Baby, it feels so good to be inside you again.  Tell me how I can make you feel good.  What do you want?”

        “Tell me,” Justin panted.  “Talk to me.”

        “Baby,” JC said, gently pinching Justin’s nipple.  Justin moaned, shuddering.  “Baby, you feel so good to me.  It feels so good to be inside you.  You feel so good, you look so good.”

        Justin was rocking against JC’s thrusts, struggling for more, close to orgasm.

        “You feel so good, baby, it’s been so long,” JC said, controlling his breathing as he fucked Justin a little harder.  Justin met his thrusts, groaning, arching.  “You’re beautiful, Justin, you’re incredible.  Let me see you come, baby.  Let me see it.”  He pounded into Justin, harder than he usually did, forcing Justin nearer to the precipice.  “Come on, baby, come for me.  Let me watch you.  I want to come, baby, I’m so close, I can feel it.  Let me feel yours.”

        “JC,” Justin said, his hands over his head, gripping the fitted sheet.  Ecstasy and agony chased each other across his face.  “JC.  JC!”

        “Come on, baby, you can do it,” JC said, slamming into him, feeling the ultimate ecstasy so close, too close, almost, god…

        Justin screamed, his eyes rolling back in his head, cum spurting over his stomach.

        JC breathed, feeling the tension bleed away, relaxing, watching Justin.

        Justin panted, eyes half-closed, fingers releasing the sheet he’d torn upon climax.

        “Is that better, Justin?” JC asked, his thumb rubbing across Justin’s hairline.

        Justin inhaled slowly, and nodded.

        “Okay.  Relax, relax, ssshhh…”  JC pulled his hard, leaking dick out.  Justin whimpered, eyes closed.  “Ssshhh, it’s okay,” JC whispered, and pressed a kiss to Justin’s cheek.  Justin shivered, wrapping himself around JC.  When he felt JC’s erection against his stomach, Justin moaned in shock and rubbed against it, putting his hand between their bodies to stroke it.

        “No, Justin, baby, we’re done,” JC said.  “The fire’s out, baby, you’ve had enough.  You don’t want more.”  He pushed Justin’s hand from his dick, but Justin was rolling their bodies back into position, taking his erection in hand again and guiding it inside Justin.  As the head was captured within the tight clinging heat of Justin’s body, JC’s hips bucked forward helplessly, sending the rest of his dick deep into Justin’s ass, right up to his balls.  JC groaned, not knowing how long he could hold up in that perfect erotic grip.

        Justin moaned, digging his fingers into JC’s thighs.

        “Baby,” JC said, his hips trapped in a fucking pattern.  “Baby…”

        “JC…”  Justin’s hands gripped JC’s shoulders, clutched JC’s ass.

        “Hold…on…”  JC groaned, fucking faster.

        “J…C…  J…C…”

        JC’s balls were tight, his dick swollen rock-hard.  He drove as deep as he could, shocking a new, aroused sound from Justin, and came.  The physical relief of it was intense.  He braced his hands on the mattress to keep from collapsing onto Justin.  He dropped instead beside Justin, his hand on Justin’s chest.  He closed his eyes, slowing his breathing.

        Justin curled in at his side, head on his chest.

        “Baby.”  JC smoothed Justin’s peach fuzz.

        Justin hooked his leg over JC’s, trapping JC’s thigh between his own.  Justin was half-hard, and he humped JC slowly, riding JC’s muscular thigh for stimulation.

        “Justin,” JC said.  “Do you want to come in my mouth?”

        Justin tightened his hold on JC, unwilling to move, busily focused on getting off.

        “Baby,” JC said.  “Relax, baby.  Let it come.”  He put his arm around Justin, hugging Justin closer.  “You’re working too hard.  Let me touch you.”

        Justin paused, his eyes on JC’s hand, which was nearing his groin.

        JC turned to face him, kissing his soft mouth.  JC’s hand snaked in between Justin’s legs, fondling Justin gently.  Justin moaned, almost immediately bearing a full erection from JC’s touch.  JC kissed him, caressed him, licked his neck, and sucked his dick until he came.

        Justin, worn out, rolled onto his side and fell asleep.

        JC crawled up Justin’s body, kissed Justin’s cheek, and then spooned up behind Justin, holding his love in his arms.  He kissed Justin’s shoulders and licked Justin’s nape, feeling the smooth skin and soft stubble against his tongue.  “I love you, Justin.”  As carefully as he could, he fitted his erection inside Justin, gently pressing deep inside.  Justin arched back against him, undulating, adjusting, then subsided back into sleep.

        JC rolled his tongue in his mouth, savoring the taste of Justin’s sweat and cum, letting his dick throb inside the confines of Justin’s body.  He whispered Justin’s name and dropped into sleep.

        JC wakened.  His eyes opened.

        Justin smiled.  “I love you.”

        “I love you, Justin.”  JC kissed him, a soft warm kiss that sent erotic heat sizzling down his spine and into his balls.  “You go get in the tub, and I’ll find us something to eat.”

        “Come in the tub with me,” Justin invited, plucking JC’s nipple.

        “Baby.”  JC kissed him again.  “We have things to talk about before we make love again.”

        “We can take a bath together and not make love.”

        “No, we can’t,” JC said.

        “We can take a shower together and not make love.”

        “No, we can’t,” JC said with a little smile.

        “We can’t take out the trash without making love,” Justin admitted.  “You go take a shower and let me lie here thinking about you.”

        JC smiled.  “Okay.”  He kissed Justin and rose from the bed, giving Justin the chance to admire his lean, masculine form.

        “What did you experience when we made love today?” JC asked, setting a plate before him.

        “Thanks,” Justin said.  He shifted in his seat, not sure what to say.  “We haven’t made love in a while.  I…had trouble.  Letting you back in.”

        “You wanted it, you kept asking for more, but at the same time, I could feel you wanting to push me away,” JC said, sitting opposite him.

        Of course JC would have noticed that.  Justin tried not to sigh.  “You could say I was conflicted.”

        “Why?” JC asked.

        “JC, you know what you’re like.  I can’t handle all of that, right away.”

        “Then I should have gone slower.  Or you should have taken control.”

        “No, I wanted it that way.  I wanted you to do that to me.  Our first time back together, that was right.”

        JC didn’t say anything.  He was thinking.  Justin ate, watching JC’s eyes, wanting to be inside JC’s head and know what JC was thinking.  “If you could change the way we make love, what would you change?” JC asked.

        “I wouldn’t,” Justin said.  It was a ridiculous question.  Change the way they made love?  Change the things JC made him feel?

        “Think about it,” JC said, serious about the issue.

        Justin shrugged.  “We make love a lot of different ways.”

        JC waited.

        Justin tried not to squirm with guilt.  “Maybe,” he said.  “I, I’d do more.  When you make love to me, I don’t really do anything anymore.  I just lie there and lose my mind.  That’s not fair to you.  I feel like you’re not even getting anything out of it.  If we’re real partners, and we have an equal, balanced relationship, then when you make love to me, I should make love to you.”

        “Justin, I get a lot out of making love to you, I get everything from it,” JC said.  “Your pleasure is my pleasure.”

        “It’s still not fair,” Justin said.  “I know I should do more.  I tried, for about ten seconds today.  But you’re too much, JC, you’re overwhelming, I couldn’t do it.”

        “I’m not asking you to do more,” JC said.  “I thought that maybe there was more, or less, I could do.”

        “Right now, we’re still adjusting to each other,” Justin said.  “It’s going to be a little intense until we settle back into it.  I have to get used to that level of ecstasy again.  You can’t take today as a sign of anything.”

        “You have to get used to it again,” JC said.

        “Yes,” Justin said.  “What’s it like for you?  You don’t have to adjust?”

        “Justin, your body is…my home.  My sanctuary.  It’s what I live and breathe and feed on.  Being with you again is beautiful, it’s miraculous, it’s like finding air again after almost drowning without it.  When I held you in my arms again, that was all of the adjusting I needed.  When I first entered you again, it was just like it always was before.”

        Justin felt warm all the way through.  “I missed you, too, JC.”

        “What do you want to do?” JC asked.  “We should make love again, slowly.  You can be in control.”

        The idea of fucking JC had Justin’s heart racing.  “Maybe we should make out,” Justin said.  “Get back in touch with each other.”

        “That’s avoiding,” JC said.  “Being in touch isn’t the problem.  Me making love to you is the problem.”

        Justin smiled.  “Then maybe you should make love to me over and over and over again until I get used to it.”

        JC laughed.  “We can try that again.  I’ll go slowly.  Tell me when it’s getting to be too much, and I’ll back off a little to let you get used to it.”

        “That’ll take hours,” Justin said.

        “That’s all right,” JC said.  “You can come whenever you need to, as long as you’re in control of it.”

        “What about you?” Justin asked.

        JC smiled.  “I’ll be fine.”

        Lance hung up.

        JC called some of the studio musicians.  Justin gave JC a pedicure.

        JC had to go see one of the musicians.  He and Justin tried to decide whether he should go alone.

        “We are supposed to be independent,” Justin made himself say.

        “It’ll only be half an hour,” JC said, to reassure him.

        “Plus driving time, though,” Justin said.

        “Yeah,” JC said.

        “We can be independent and still do things together,” Justin pointed out.

        “Other couples go places together,” JC agreed.

        “We probably should try doing things apart,” Justin said hesitantly.

        “There are a lot of things that we can do separately,” JC said.

        “Right,” Justin said.

        They looked at each other in silence.

        “I should probably go ahead and go,” JC said.

        “Yeah,” Justin agreed.

        JC stood.

        Justin studied the carpeting.

        “Come with me?” JC invited.

        Justin stood quickly.  “Okay.”

        If Joey didn’t stop by, he’d get someone to invite Joey.

        Lance sucked on the olive, smiling as he remembered Joey’s strong hands gripping the backs of his thighs and lifting him up against the cabinet.

        JC crawled over to him, and he felt JC’s lips on his chest, felt JC’s tongue licking up his cum.  He moaned, his hand rising to JC’s hair.  “Let me make love to you.”

        JC licked up Justin’s neck, making him tilt his head back, letting out another soft moan.  “Baby, you’re done,” JC said gently.

        “I want to make love to you,” Justin said, his hand dropping back to the mattress.

        “Justin, how many times have you come since we got back?”

        “Once in the kitchen, once in the hallway, and…twenty-six more after that.”

        JC laughed, a warm sound.  “I think you’re done for tonight.”

        “No, I’m good, I want to make love to you.”

        “Baby, open your eyes.”

        Justin tried, but he could only manage a few flutters before he gave up from sheer exhaustion.

        “It’s okay,” JC said, kissing his mouth.  “You can make love to me tomorrow, as many times as you want.”

        “Twenty…six,” Justin said.

        “Okay,” JC said, and Justin felt JC pull him up to the pillows.  “Twenty-six.”  He felt JC stroke his cheek, felt another kiss.  “Good night, Justin.”  Justin felt himself being drawn into an embrace, his chest against JC’s.

        “JC,” he murmured, feeling the smooth skin of JC’s back against his fingertips.  “You’re so pretty.”  JC was supposed to say that to him, but why should it be a one-way thing?  If he was pretty, JC was even prettier, and he wanted JC to know that he thought so.

        “You’re pretty, too,” JC said.

        “I love you, JC, you’re so beautiful to me, you’re so sexy.”

        “I love you, too, Justin.”

        “You’re so infinite.”

        Lips brushing his forehead.  “Go to sleep, baby.”

        “So…pretty…”  Justin slept.

        He closed his eyes, slipping his hand down the front of his boxer-briefs, rolling his balls loosely in their sac.  He pictured AJ kneeling before him, pretty lips wrapped around the head of his dick, hand around the base of it, silver rings flashing as AJ’s hand worked up and down, nail polish black against the dark blond of his pubic hair, AJ’s lush lashes lowered against AJ’s pale cheek.

        He put JC in AJ’s place, high cheekbones accentuated as JC sucked.  He wondered how JC sucked.  There was so much power in JC, so much energy and force, not to mention so much damned talent, that JC probably sucked as hard and as well as he did everything else.

        Curling his hand around the shaft, Lance pictured Justin sucking on his dick.  He’d love to fuck Justin’s mouth.  High and mighty, cherished and special Justin Timberlake Chasez, so privileged, on his knees, put in his place, sucking Lance’s dick and begging for cum.

        Chris, the thought sent unexpected prickles of heat up his spine.  Howie, that bastard, those plush soft lips had to be good for something.

        Joey.  Joey didn’t suck dick, never had.  Never would.  But when Joey sang, his mouth made a perfect “O.”  If he’d just widen that O, let Lance guide his dick in there, suck on it, maybe lick at it, maybe even swallow it…

        Lance made a sound of satisfaction, jacking his dick slowly, imagining it.  Joey kneeling between his feet, sucking on his dick.  He’d cup the back of Joey’s head in his hand, guiding Joey farther onto his dick, Joey’s beard scratching his inner thighs.  Joey wasn’t pretty, or gorgeous; Joey wasn’t sexually extravagant.  Joey was a man, all man, and the idea of Joey on his knees, Lance’s cock halfway down his throat, was as provocative as it was impossible.

        Nick Carter sucking dick, now that idea was as common as dirt.  Lance could just imagine getting a handful of shaggy blond hair and fucking his way down Nick’s throat.  He could come on Nick’s face and Nick wouldn’t so much as blink.

        He couldn’t imagine kissing Nick.  Kissing JC, now that would be an experience.  He’d watched JC kiss Justin, and it had looked so erotic, and so complex, that he’d understood why Justin always got a glazed, just-been-fucked look simply from kissing.

        Justin’s mouth was soft and yielding, like a warm, wet woman.  If Justin ever grew a pair of balls or ever went back to women, he’d start to kiss like a man, and then he’d be a formidable lover.  But, since he was the love slave of a sexual master, his kisses were clinging and submissive.  At least, that was how they looked.

        Kissing Chris had to be fun.  Scratchy, since Chris had a five o’clock shadow at seven a.m., but fun.  Good, dirty fun.

        Kissing AJ.  Lance’s hand moved faster over his dick, spreading precum down from the head.  He remembered kissing AJ.  Hard, I want to be fucking you right now, kisses.  Long, I want to be here with you forever, kisses.  Fast, how much do you want me, kisses.  Slow, I love you, kisses.  Soft, tell me you love me, kisses.  Wet, flirting kisses.  Passionate kisses.  I missed you kisses.  God, we’re good together kisses.  I could eat you alive kisses.

        Kissing Joey.  Joey kissed him hard, rough, taking, looting and pillaging.  It wasn’t a kiss between equals, because Joey wasn’t used to kissing equals.  It made Lance want to kiss him back with matching dominance, make him learn how to be kissed by a man, make him appreciate what another man could do for him.

        What Lance could do for him…

        God, what Lance wanted to do for Joey.

        While he was kissing Joey in his mind, stripping off Joey’s clothes, going down on his knees, Lance came.

        He envied JC and Justin.  Crazy or not, they had someone to look out for, someone to love, someone to come home to at night.

        Joey wasn’t even bringing women home anymore.  It just wasn’t worth it.

        Soft lips kissing behind his ear.  The delicate flutter of Howie’s tongue at his earlobe.  The seductive press of Howie’s hand to his thigh.

        Chris had to be living someone else’s life.  This was too good to be real.  “Howie?”

        “Good morning,” Howie murmured, fingers trailing up Chris’s erection.

        Chris shivered.  Very good morning.  Insanely excellent morning.  Howie started to climb over him, and when their lips met, Chris moaned, falling into love.

        He ran into Nick.  Oh.  Mmm.  Much better.  Drew pushed into Nick’s embrace, tucking his head under Nick’s chin.  Nick grumbled, repositioning him, one hand cupping his ass.  Drew shifted and drifted off again.

        Brian was singing.

        Drew’s brain wakened.

        The singing faded as Brian’s footsteps went down the stairs.

        Drew’s eyes opened.  He slid out of Nick’s embrace.

        Nick caught his wrist.  Drew looked up; Nick’s eyes were on him.  “Now what?” Nick asked.

        “Quiet,” Drew whispered, and twisted his wrist free, slipping from the bed.  He pulled on his underwear and crept from the room.  At the top of the stairs, he could hear Brian still singing downstairs.

        Nick was at his side.  “What?”

        “Ssshhh,” Drew insisted, elbowing him.  Drew moved down a few steps, coming to a stop and sitting halfway down the stairs.  A moment later, Nick sat behind him, warming him, wrapping him up tightly.  He rested his head back on Nick’s shoulder.

        Brian was in the kitchen, it sounded like.  He’d turned on the stereo, and was singing along, softly at first, then building as he got caught up in the music.

        Drew sat in Nick’s embrace, closing his eyes, listening.

        The music swelled, nearing a crescendo, and Brian was out-belting the recorded singers, voice rising up pure and strong.

        “What’s a tabernacle?” Nick whispered.

        Drew put his hand over Nick’s, which was on his shoulder, to silence Nick for the moment, mentally promising to define it later.  Nick either read his mind or gave up, quiet again.

        Drew had heard Brian sing before, of course.  Brian sang to himself all of the time.  It was just that Drew hadn’t been around Brian in such a long time, he hadn’t heard Brian sing, in person, for months.  Too many months.  He’d missed Brian, and he’d missed Brian’s voice.

        The singing came closer as Brian left the kitchen.  It crossed Drew’s mind that Brian might be coming towards the stairs; and in that case, he might want to go back to bed and not get caught.

        Then the singing was startlingly close, and abruptly cut off.  The stereo continued on its own in the background.

        Drew opened his eyes.

        “Good morning,” Brian said, standing at the foot of the stairs, puzzled.  “What’s up?”

        Drew discreetly closed his legs, angling them slightly to cover his arousal.  He couldn’t come up with an answer to Brian’s question, so he said, “Good morning.”

        “It’s early,” Brian said, mounting the first few steps.  “You can go back to bed.  I didn’t mean to wake you.”

        “No, we’re up,” Nick said.  “You might as well make us breakfast.”

        Safe within Nick’s tight embrace, Drew looked into Brian’s eyes as Brian’s fingers grazed his cheek, his jaw, feeling the rasp of stubble.

        “Drew, tell Brian what you want,” Nick said.

        “For breakfast,” Drew said vaguely, still gazing into the light crystal blue of Brian’s eyes as Brian knelt, hands braced on the stairs, leaning closer, closer, closer.

        “Forget breakfast,” Brian whispered, and kissed him, entrancing him.  Drawn in by the softness of Brian’s lips, the sleek dance of Brian’s tongue, and the soft grace of Brian’s breath when they broke for air, Drew kissed Brian with all of the desire burning in his heart.  His hands slid down Brian’s sides, then caught the hem and slid back up, drawing the shirt up, then off, dropping it on the stair.

        Naked to the waist, Brian began to kiss him with more passion, more aggression.  Drew felt Nick’s hands on his thighs, prying them apart.  Brian moved in between his knees, and then Nick’s hands were on the waistband of his boxer-briefs, tugging them down, pulling out his hard-on.  Nick stroked it with a knowing, admiring touch, and Drew’s resulting groan snagged Brian’s attention.  Brian looked up, then down, and then Brian was ducking down there, licking Drew’s erection.  Drew’s hips jerked, an uncontrollable response, and when Brian swallowed down to the base, Nick let go, leaving Brian to finish it.

        Drew breathed Brian’s name, leaning back against Nick for support, watching in rapt fascination as Brian sucked on his dick, backing off to the head and sliding down again in perfect rhythm.  Nick’s hand was in Brian’s hair, touching Brian’s cheek, Brian’s ear, the back of Brian’s neck.  Brian made warm noises at Nick’s caresses, soft sounds that vibrated around Drew’s dick.

        “Brian has to go to work today,” Nick said just behind Drew’s ear, fingers running through Brian’s soft hair.  “You won’t see him for hours.  Don’t you want to take him back to bed and fuck him?”

        Drew didn’t know what Nick was saying; he was so heavily invested in the suction on his dick that he had no brainpower left to comprehend words.  But something inside him agreed with Nick, and he heard himself say, “Yes.”

        Nick stroked Brian’s cheek. “Come to bed, angel.  Drew wants to fuck you.”

        Brian raised his head, leaving Drew’s dick in the comparatively cool air.  He licked his lips, his gaze locked with Drew’s.  His eyes were asking questions.  Do you want me?  How can I make it good for you?

        Drew ran his thumb across Brian’s mouth, then grazed Brian’s cheek with the backs of his fingers.  While Nick stroked Brian’s left cheekbone, Drew caressed the right.  His erection was pulsing with need, demanding attention, but Drew was distracted by Brian’s beauty.

        “Drew,” Nick said softly, touch skimming Brian’s jaw.

        “Hmm,” Drew said, touching the hair at Brian’s temple.  Soft.

        “Brian,” Nick said.  Brian leaned forward, kissing Drew.  Drew’s mouth opened for Brian’s tongue, his hand cupping the side of Brian’s neck.  Desire hummed in Drew’s veins.  Brian’s hands slid up his naked chest, and desire began to sing.  Then Nick’s hands slid in between his legs, cupping his balls, stroking his inner thighs, caressing his dick, and the singing turned to an all-out roar.  Brian’s hands were on his back, his hands cupping and kneading Brian’s ass through Brian’s sweatpants.

        Just as Drew realized that only one hand was on his back, he heard Nick moan.  Brian kissed him harder, getting as close as possible, Nick still moaning in the background.  Drew knew exactly where Brian’s hand was, and slid his own hands down the back of Brian’s sweatpants, seeking naked flesh.  Brian’s kiss was urgent, and Nick’s hands were hot, and Drew realized that if he didn’t get inside Brian soon, he’d lose his chance.

        “I want you,” he said, and Brian recaptured his mouth in a kiss.  “Yeah,” Brian said, and the conversation came to an end, both of them pouring their lust into their kiss, into the touches of their hands and the press of their bodies.

        Drew might have stayed there forever, but Nick had other ideas.  Drew felt Nick’s hands supporting him, pulling him to his feet.  As Nick pulled him to stand, he guided Brian up with him, unwilling to lose contact with Brian’s mouth.  Nick helped them up the remaining stairs and into the bedroom.  When Drew bumped into the bed, he turned, backing Brian up to it, pushing Brian back onto it.

        Brian beneath him, looking up at him, crystal blue eyes, love and trust and beauty and knowledge.  Drew felt the weight of it, the pure meaning of it, pierce his heart and fill it to bursting.

        It wasn’t about sex anymore.  It never had been about sex, never, not for a second.  It was about love, and it always had been, from the first look, the first touch, the first kiss, the first shimmering simmer of it.  Brian knew that, had known it from the beginning, had understood it years ago when kissing Nick for the very first time.

        It was about love.  Every touch.  Every moment.  Drew finally understood, as though he were seeing the world through Brian’s eyes.  He saw what Brian saw.  He knew what Brian knew.

        Brian touched Drew’s forehead, a gentle brush of skin.

        Drew closed his eyes and kissed Brian.  He tasted Brian’s love, breathed it in, made love to it.

        JC made a waking up noise, pushing himself up, rolling onto his back.  He rubbed at his eyes and kissed Justin’s cheek.  “Morning.”  He wrapped his arm around Justin’s waist and began to go back to sleep.

        “JC,” Justin said.  “You’re meeting with the Fools this morning.”

        JC’s eyes opened.  “Shit.”

        Justin laughed.  “You have time.  All of your notes are here, right?”

        “Yeah.”  JC checked the clock.  “I want to get there early.”

        “Go ahead and get in the shower.  I’ll pour you some cereal.”

        JC kissed him.  “Thanks.”

        Justin held onto JC’s arm, keeping him tethered.  “You know I’m coming with you today.”

        JC smiled.  “I know.”

        “And tomorrow,” Justin added.  “And the day after that.”

        JC’s kiss was loving.  “I know.”

        Kevin put his hand on AJ’s naked back.  “Alex.”

        AJ burrowed back into the covers.

        Kevin smiled.  “Alex.  Back to work today.  You have a meeting with the Fools.”

        “Ten more minutes,” AJ said, pulling the covers up over his head.

        Kevin pulled the covers back down.  “If you get out of bed and in the tub, I’ll make breakfast.”

        “I don’t want breakfast, I want sleep,” AJ said, rolling onto his side, facing away from Kevin.

        Kevin rubbed AJ’s back.

        “Okay, okay,” AJ said, sighing.  “I’m up.”  He sat up, looking at Kevin.  “That breakfast offer still good?”

        “Still good,” Kevin agreed.

        AJ cast him a look of suspicion.  “What happened to your usual routine of shaking me awake, telling me to get my ass of out bed, and saying rude things about my parentage and personality until I get up?”

        “After we’ve been together for a year or two, I might get back into that habit,” Kevin said.  “Right now, our relationship is new, and I’m treating you like my treasured lover, not my long-time and somewhat irritating friend.  Enjoy this stage while it lasts.”

        AJ laughed.  “While we’re in our little honeymoon phase, do I have to be nicer to you than usual, too?”

        Kevin kissed him.  “Yes.”

        It had been the longest shower ever.  Drying off afterward had been a lot more complicated than was necessary.

        Then they’d started shaving each other.  They’d even shaved him.  Together.

        Getting dressed, by comparison, had been simple.  At least they’d let him dress himself.

        Now they were in the kitchen, making breakfast.  Drew was spending so much time gazing into Brian’s eyes, standing right in front of Brian with a hand on his arm, that all of the pancakes were burnt black.  If this kept up, Brian would miss the entire meeting.

        Nick intervened.  He hooked his fingers through Drew’s belt loops, tugging Drew to the table.  “Have a seat, Romeo,” he said, pushing Drew onto a chair.

        Seated, Drew leaned towards him, dragging his chair closer, putting a hand on his shoulder, kissing him.  Soon Nick was hitching Drew’s chair closer, and Drew’s fingers were in Nick’s hair.  Drew’s kiss was different.  Slightly different, but different.  He couldn’t put his finger on it.

        What was going on with Drew and Brian?  Were they high on something?

        Drew sat back slightly, brushing Nick’s hair out of his face, trailing curious fingers down Nick’s nose, which Nick wrinkled.  Drew smiled, squeezing Nick’s biceps and kissing Nick’s cheek.

        Nick had no idea what was happening, but Drew seemed just about as happy as Nick had ever seen him, and the loving warmth in Drew’s eyes made Nick happy, too.

        “Get away, you crazed fool,” Chris said.

        “Chris, how many times in your life has someone besides you done something to your hair?”

        “Those are trained professionals,” Chris said, wondering whether he should distract Howie first or just plain run for it.

        “How does my hair usually look?”

        “Perfect,” Chris said.

        “Why can’t I try this?”

        “I don’t dress as well as some people, and I’m not six one with overdeveloped biceps and a washboard stomach, but at least my hair usually looks good.  I’ve found something that works, and I’m sticking to it.”

        “I’m not going to do anything drastic,” Howie said.  “I’m not cutting it, dyeing it, or anything permanent.  It’s a little styling.”

        “Nope.  Nope, nope, sorry, you’re the love of my life, but I’ve had hair horror in the past, and I can’t risk it.”

        Howie took a step back.  “All right.  I understand.”

        “You’re not going to seduce me into it?” Chris asked, relieved and disappointed.

        “No,” Howie said.  “You said no, and I respect that.”

        Wow.  Chris had been with several people who would have given him guilt over lack of trust.  Howie hadn’t even gone near that one.  He was impressed.  “I love you,” he said.

        Howie smiled.  “I love you, too.”  He took a step out of the bathroom.  “It’s probably better this way, anyway.”

        Chris knew that he should let it go, leave that comment right there on the ground and not touch it, but he had to know.  “Why?”

        “If you had let me do your hair today, I was going to let you do mine tomorrow.”

        Every single cell in Chris’s brain flared into awareness.  Before he knew what he was doing, he was dragging Howie back into the bathroom and thrusting styling products into Howie’s hands.  Howie was laughing, but he didn’t care.  Howie could style it, cut it, dye it, shave it, cover it in mud and raisins; he didn’t care.  All that mattered was, in another twenty-four hours, he was going to-

        He kissed Howie, dropping gel and mousse to the floor.  “Howie, my Howie, my love,” he said, sounding as breathless as he felt, “I’ve never been happier about being so openly manipulated.  I think I love you.”

        Joey, sprawled across the bed in his underwear, made a grumbling sound.

        “Hey,” JC said, coming to sit on the side of the bed.  “Late night?”

        Another grumble, and Joey rolled over, cautiously opening his eyes.  “Hey.”

        JC smiled.  “Hey.”

        “How’re you doing?” Joey asked, sitting up, rubbing his eyes.

        “I’m great,” JC said.  “Justin and I are great.  Thanks for letting us stay.”

        “Any time,” Joey said.

        “We might need to stay another night or two, if you won’t mind.”

        “You know you can stay as long as you want,” Joey said.

        “We’re going out.  First official face-to-face Sentimental Fools meeting.”

        “I heard about it.  Congratulations.  Good luck.”

        “You’re welcome to come,” JC said.

        “I might stop by,” Joey said.  “After I find some coffee.  Hey.”  He touched JC’s arm.  “You and Justin are really doing okay?”

        “We are,” JC said.  “Justin’s so giving.  Come to the studio and see for yourself.”

        “What?” Drew asked, sitting on the dining room table.

        “I was going to hang with Kevin, but he’s going with AJ.”  He dialed again.  “Hey, let me talk to Jeff.  Yeah, hi, Nick, let me talk to Jeff.”  Nick tapped his fingers on Drew’s thigh.  “Hey, cutie.  What are you doing today?  What?  You don’t want to go there, it’ll be boring.  Jeff, dude, how interesting can it be if I’m not there?  That’s what I’m saying.  I don’t know, we can drive around town, we can hang out, whatever.  Okay.  Yeah.”  He walked his fingers up Drew’s arm while he waited.  “What’d the wife say?  Great.  Yeah.  Yeah, you can come over.  Drew’s going to be unpacking and calling home, but he won’t be in our way.”  Drew rolled his eyes.  “Yeah.  Great.  Okay.  Bye.”  Nick hung up.  “Jeff’s coming.”

        “I heard,” Drew said.  “I’ll try to go about my business quietly so I won’t disrupt your fun.”

        “Appreciate it,” Nick said.

        “I’m leaving,” Brian said, coming into the room, shoving papers into a satchel.  “Kiss me good-bye.”

        “Bye,” Drew said, kissing him.

        “Bye,” Nick said, kissing him.

        “Say hi to Kevin,” Brian said.

        “Okay,” Nick said.  Drew elbowed him.  “Except I can’t,” Nick added.  “He’s going to be at the Fools meeting.”

        “Oh,” Brian said.  “Do you want to come?”

        “No, I’m good,” Nick said.  Drew elbowed him.  “What?” Nick demanded.

        “What?” Brian asked Nick.

        “Nothing,” Nick said.  “Okay, good-bye.”

        “Okay,” Brian said, casting them a dubious look.  “Bye.”  He kissed them again, and left.

        “Are you trying to get me in trouble?” Nick demanded of Drew.

        “You can’t keep it from him,” Drew said.  “He’s going to find out.”

        “I can spend time with anyone I want,” Nick said.

        “Then stand up and say that, instead of hiding it.”

        “I don’t want to start a fight.”

        “We need to confront Brian about it so we can get over it.”

        “I know we need to talk to him about it, and I know we need to get past it, and I can’t stand him being knotted up inside, but I don’t want to fight.”

        “It might not be that bad,” Drew said.

        “You want to fight?”

        “I’m not afraid to.”

        Nick considered him carefully.  “Why?”

        “Because I know it’s not going to rip apart this relationship.  I know that the three of us aren’t going to break up over this stupid situation.  And I know that it’ll be good for Brian.”

        Nick thought about that, hiking himself up to sit beside Drew on the table.

        “Stand up for yourself,” Drew said.  “It’ll earn respect.”

        Being part of a unit made him feel stronger.  AJ liked that feeling.

        Kevin’s eyes were amused.  “You coming?” Kevin asked, ahead of him, off of the porch, offering him a hand.

        AJ smiled, taking Kevin’s hand, stepping down from the porch.

        “You’re in a good mood,” Kevin said, still holding his hand, making no move to keep walking.

        “I want to do something bright and wholesome,” AJ said.  “With you.  Like make love in a meadow under a warm sun.”

        Kevin laughed.  “Public sex is not wholesome.”

        “When this meeting is over, let’s do something.  Go to the zoo.  Feed each other fresh berries.  Have a picnic in the grass.”

        “AJ, who are you?” Kevin asked, pleased by his obvious happiness, but confused by his out-of-character behavior.

        AJ grinned.  “I’m AJ,” he introduced himself, squeezing Kevin’s hand, pressing a kiss to Kevin’s mouth.  “And I’m happy.”

        “Yeah, you have fun with Nick,” Nick said, putting diamond studs in his ears.

        “I’m proud of you for bearing up this well under the great disappointment,” Jeff said.  “I know you were counting on having me there with you.”

        “I’ll survive,” Nick said.  “Tell Nick I said hi.”  He kissed Jeff.  “Bye.”

        “Bye.”  Nick kissed him again; he closed his eyes and kissed back.  Nick’s hands were migrating from his back to his ass.  “Nick.”  It was hard to talk with Nick’s tongue in his mouth.  “Nick.”  He was definitely being felt up.  “Nick!”

        “What?” Nick asked, intent on kissing him, refusing to be distracted.

        “Don’t you have, ah, somewhere to be?”  Jeff put his hands on Nick’s shoulders for support as he suddenly went weak in the knees.

        “Five more minutes,” Nick said, lifting Jeff’s shirt.

        “Ahem,” Justin said.

        “Hey,” JC said.

        “Go away,” Chris said without looking.

        “Hi,” Howie said, giving them a smile over Chris’s shoulder.  “How’re you doing?”

        “Oh, right, hey, wait,” Chris said, getting up and coming over to them.  “How’s it going?”  He gripped Justin’s shoulders, staring anxiously into Justin’s eyes.  “How do you feel?”

        “I’m fine,” Justin said, brushing off Chris’s hands.  “You look good.”

        “You do,” JC agreed.  “Justin and I are fine.  We’ve been doing a lot of talking.”

        “Talking is good, that’s good, good, good talking,” Chris said.  “You’d tell me if there were problems, wouldn’t you?  No, you wouldn’t, of course you wouldn’t, the trust is gone.  Everything’s okay, isn’t it?”

        “Were you always this manic?” Justin asked, dropping onto Chris’s vacated seat beside Howie.

        “Always, yeah, pretty much, I think so,” Chris said.  “That’s my seat.”

        “My seat now,” Justin said, getting comfortable.

        “That’s my Howie,” Chris insisted.

        Justin grinned, draping an arm across the back of the sofa.  “My Howie now.”

        “Hey, am I late?” Brian asked, coming in, dropping his satchel on the table, setting down his guitar case.  “Hello, everybody.”

        “Early,” JC said.  He ran his thumb across his chin and said, in a low voice, “Coming over to your house like that, I’m sorry.  That wasn’t fair to you or Nick.  I’m sorry about that.”

        “Don’t worry about it,” Brian said.  “You were upset.  I understand that.  So how are things working out?”

        “They’re great,” JC said.  “Justin and I are really trying to talk out things, work on things.  It’s slow, but we’ll get there.”

        “Brian,” Justin said, rising, crossing over towards him.  Chris threw himself down beside Howie.  “I wanted to thank you for your help, what you did for me and for JC,” Justin said.  “I’m sorry for all of the…trouble.”

        “I only wanted to help,” Brian said.  “I hope I did any good.”

        Justin hugged him.  “Thank you.”

        “Hi, I’m chopped liver,” Chris announced to no one in particular.

        “Oh, Chris, thank you,” Justin said, sweeping down on Chris, climbing onto his lap.

        “That’s much better,” Chris said with dignity.

        “You look nice,” Brian said to Chris.

        “Thanks,” Chris said.  “New socks.”  He eyed Justin.  “Speaking of new socks, is this bald look permanent?”

        “It’s a lot easier to deal with,” Justin said, rubbing his hand over his head.  “I think I’ll keep it short for a while.”

        “And JC’s okay with this?” Chris asked.

        “He keeps licking my hairline,” Justin said.  “I think he likes it.”

        “Do you see how that second sentence was all I really needed, and that first sentence was more than I wanted to know?” Chris asked.  “Are you understanding how that works?”

        “Good morning,” Nick said, walking into the studio.

        “Hey,” JC said.  “How was your tour, man?”

        “Great,” Nick said.  “We had a great time.”

        “Sorry you’re not getting much time off,” JC said.

        “Hey, I signed up for this,” Nick said.  “That was my call.”

        “Hi,” Brian said.

        Nick met Brian’s eyes, then glanced away, then back at Brian, shifting his feet, tucking his hand in his pocket.  “Hey.”  He cleared his throat.  “Hey,” he said, to the rest of the room.  “Looking good,” he said to Chris.  “New shirt?”

        “New socks,” Justin said.  He frowned at Chris.  “What happened to your hand?”

        “Howie bit me,” Chris said.

        “Don’t involve me in your weird lies,” Howie said.

        “What really happened,” Chris said, “we’re moving into our new house, and we were attacked by this rabid animal.  Ugly fucker, foaming at the mouth.  I should’ve shot it on sight.  It attacked, and I had to fight it off.”

        “Okay,” Justin said.

        “Yeah, I’ll be needing rabies shots and everything,” Chris said.

        “Bummer,” JC said.

        “Good, good, morning,” Justin Jeffre said, entering the studio.

        “Norm!” Chris called.

        Justin waved.

        “So, it looks like we’re all here,” Chris said.  “Why don’t we get started?”

        “Because we’re not all here,” JC said.

        “You misunderstand me,” Chris said.  “I meant, everyone who counts is here.”

        “I called Lance,” JC said, ignoring that.  “He’ll be in soon.  Joey’s dropping by later.”

        “The more, the merrier,” Brian said.

        “Let’s get this thing moving,” AJ said, coming into the room, sitting on the end of the table, dressed in sleek black, perfectly groomed, unconsciously bearing more presence and sexual energy than Chris had ever mustered.  He held out his hands; Kevin tossed him a bottle of water.  “What are we working on?”

        “Andrew!”

        “Nickolas!” he yelled back, not missing a beat.

        Nick came into the laundry room, Jeff in tow.  “We’re going out.  Come with us.”

        “Hey,” Drew said to Jeff.  “Nick, I have to do laundry, I have to call home, I have to put all of the doorknobs back on the doors-”

        “Do that later,” Nick said.

        “You haven’t called home yet?” Jeff asked.

        “Not for the in-depth post-tour wrap-up,” Drew said.

        “Did you say doorknobs?” Jeff asked.  He looked behind himself at the laundry room door.  “Why are you missing doorknobs?”

        “Come with us,” Nick said to Drew.

        “Can I call home first?” Drew asked.

        “I guess,” Nick said.

        “Great.  Start the laundry for me.”  Drew handed Nick a shirt and left the room.

        Nick looked at the shirt in his hand, then offered it to Jeff.  “You heard him.  Start the laundry.”

        There was a knock at the door, and Joey peeked into the room.  “Am I disturbing genius at work?”

        “Come in,” JC said, waving him on.  “Pull up a chair.”

        Joey did so, passing around hellos.  “Don’t let me interrupt.”  JC started talking about what kind of feel they wanted a certain song to have, and Brian played a sample of the right sound, followed by a few examples of what JC didn’t want, to make the distinction.  Joey’s mind started to wander.  It was good to see that Justin was engaged in harmless non-JC activity.  That had to be a good sign.  Chris had been stupid enough to take off his bandage, and that one cut looked painful, which was probably why Howie was taking notes for him, writing on the sheet music JC and Brian must have handed out.  AJ was sitting on the end of the sofa nearest JC, casually dressed but somehow managing to look like he’d stopped in the studio between visits to exclusive sex clubs.

        Joey wondered why Chris had brought Howie.  Chris couldn’t possibly enjoy having Howie and AJ in the same confined area.  Or was Howie moral support?  Or was Chris trying to send a message to AJ by proving that Howie was his?

        At least Justin J., Nick, and Brian weren’t involved in any kind of subtextual drama.  Unless he chose to believe all of that bullshit Lance had been spouting, but that was pure fabrication.

        Joey was glad he personally didn’t have anything happening in his life.

        Joey licked over his voicebox.  “I want to fuck you,” Joey said, finding the other side of his neck.  “I want to fuck you.”

        The combined heat of shame, guilt, and desire burned in Joey’s cheeks.  He shifted in his chair.  All right, so he had a problem or two of his own.  But he was going to take care of it.

        Somehow.

        His hair was light blond again, changed from the darker shade he’d been wearing lately.  He was in relaxed jeans and a T-shirt under a short-sleeved button-down; no designer clothes or leather pants.  He was wearing sneakers, which were both younger and less threatening than boots, and gave him no height advantage whatsoever.  His hair was less styled than usual, and so it looked softer to the touch.  He wore no jewelry.

        Overall, he looked younger than he was, and he reminded even himself of the old Lance.  The pre-AJ Lance.  The Lance whom Joey so desperately missed.

        He was even wearing boxers, instead of boxer-briefs.  Every detail would help him to stay in character.

        He had a few resolutions to make.  Number one, he was not going to touch Lance.  Ever again.  At all.  Number two, he was not going to let Lance touch him.  Granted, lately he’d been the one initiating the touching, but the resolution stood.  Number three…  Number three…

        The door opened.  Joey turned to see who it was.

        Lance.

        Joey looked at him.  Repeatedly.  Confusedly.

        While he talked with JC and Brian, Lance picked up what information he could.  AJ looked good, and when AJ looked that good, it meant AJ felt very, very good.  AJ also hadn’t answered the phone yesterday.  Kevin was looking fairly happy, too.  Apparently things were going well for the new couple.  How nice for them.

        There was a mark on Justin’s neck, which meant that JC and Justin’s sex life was back in full swing.  JC was in work mode, focused on the musician side of his personality.  Justin had found a deck of cards and was talking Kevin into playing go fish.  Lance wondered what would happen if either JC or Justin had to leave the room without the other.  Would Justin launch into a screaming fit and have a mental breakdown, or not?

        There were cuts on Chris’s hand, one of which looked particularly nasty.  There had to be a story there.  Judging by the way Chris was toying with Howie’s shoelaces, if Chris and Howie had fought, Chris was over it.

        Chris looked different.  Lance wasn’t getting a close look, but there was something new.  Something…sexier.

        Lance wrapped up the conversation.  “Okay.  I’ll run over to the office and check on that after I call Cliff.  Call me if you think of anything else.”

        “Thanks,” JC said.

        Lance stuck his pen in his pocket and rose.  “You all have fun.”  Amid good-byes, Lance tugged on Joey’s sleeve as he turned and left the room.  When he got out to the parking lot, Joey was behind him.  “Hey,” he said.

        “Your hair looks good,” Joey said.

        “Thanks.”  He hesitated, glancing towards his car.  “Those phone calls are only going to take about five minutes each.  I thought maybe we could do something.  Have lunch.”

        “Yeah,” Joey said.  “I’ll follow you.”

        Lance nodded, tugging on the hem of his T-shirt, and, out of things to say, walked to his car.

        When he pulled out of the parking lot, Joey was right behind him.

        “Then why are your ears pierced?” Nick asked.

        “My left ear is pierced,” Drew said.

        “What about this?” Nick asked, fastening a silver chain around Drew’s neck.

        “I like it,” Jeff said.

        “I’ll never wear it,” Drew said.

        “Eh, Drew sucks.  Let’s buy stuff for Jeff,” Nick said, dropping the chain on the counter.

        “Let’s buy stuff for you,” Jeff suggested.

        “Me?” Nick asked.

        “Sure,” Jeff said.  “What kinds of clothes would you like to see Nick in?” he asked Drew.

        Drew smiled.

        “No,” Nick said.

        “Black leather pants,” Drew said.  “Tight, for once.  Black leather coats, three-quarter length.  Shit-kicking boots.”

        “I don’t wear skin-tight leather,” Nick said.

        “Maybe you should look into it,” Jeff said.

        “Suits,” Drew said.  “Expensive, tailored suits.  With crisp white shirts.  Vests.  Pocket handkerchiefs.  Pinstripes.  A briefcase.  A Rolex.  Wingtips.”

        “Freak,” Nick said.

        “All right, what do you want to buy?” Drew asked.

        “Therapy for you,” Nick said.  “Let’s get stuff for Jeff.”

        “Let’s not,” Jeff said.

        Drew grinned.  “Scared?”

        “I’m man enough to admit it,” Jeff said.  “Nick’s imagination can conjure up some frightening things.”

        “I’ll make sure he doesn’t hurt you,” Drew promised.

        “You’re the one trying to dress up your boyfriend like an overpriced lawyer,” Jeff said.

        “A successful stockbroker,” Drew corrected him.

        “You are very strange sometimes,” Nick told Drew.  “Just strange.”

        Drew shrugged.  “I prefer to think of it as having a vivid fantasy life.”

        Lance hung up and sat back in his chair.

        Joey turned to him.  “Done?”

        “Yeah.”  He pushed his chiar away from his desk, swivelling back and forth slightly.  “It’s weird.”

        “What?” Joey asked.

        “JC and Chris singing with other people, without us.  Going solo, that’s one thing, but this is weird.”

        “Yeah,” Joey said.  “They’re not serious about it.  Well, JC’s taking it seriously, but it’s just for fun.  They’d never leave us for Nick and AJ.”

        Lance smiled.  “It should be interesting, anyway.”

        Joey grinned.  “Yeah.”

        Lance pretended to drift off in thought, letting Joey look at him.

        “You look different today,” Joey said.

        “Really?” Lance asked.  “Probably the hair.  I wanted it lighter, but I didn’t feel like going in to get it frosted, so I just did it all myself.”

        “You don’t look as tired.”

        “I actually went to bed last night,” Lance said.

        Joey smiled.

        “Oh, you like that?” Lance asked.

        “I do,” Joey said.  “I like you taking care of yourself.”

        “What about you?” Lance asked, getting up, coming around to rest his butt against the edge of the desk.  He crossed his ankles, bracing his hands on the desk, looking young and casual and relaxed.  “You haven’t been looking good lately.”

        “That’s not what Marissa told me last night,” Joey said.

        “She was probably looking at your dick,” Lance said.  “I’m sure your dick’s fine, Joey.  It’s the tired worn-out unhappy look on your face I’m worried about.”

        Joey laughed.

        “What’s going on, Joey?” Lance asked.  “What’s wrong?”

        “Nothing,” Joey said.

        “You need a girlfriend,” Lance said.  “You need to have someone taking care of you, looking after you.  Making sure you get home at night.”

        Joey came closer.  “I was thinking the same thing about you,” he said.

        “I can take care of myself,” Lance said.  “I have common sense.”  He poked Joey in the chest.  “You think you’re invincible.”

        Once touched, Joey touched him back, which he’d been counting on.  “I don’t know about that common sense,” Joey said, poking his shoulder, his chest, his stomach.  “You’ve been running around like James the Self-Destructive.”

        “I’m Lance,” Lance corrected him.  “Lance the Sensible.”

        “That sensible act doesn’t fool me,” Joey said, poking him on the nose this time, making him bat at Joey’s hand, guaranteeing him an arm around the shoulders.  “It never did.  I always knew you were a live one.”

        “A live one?” Lance repeated, giving Joey the sardonic eyebrow lift.

        “I wouldn’t be surprised if you were into whips and chains when no one’s looking,” Joey said.  “There’s a lot of spirit lurking in you, Lance my boy.”

        “I guess you know me best,” Lance said.

        “That’s what friends are for,” Joey said, tightening the arm around his shoulders.

        “And now we hug?” Lance guessed, looking askance at Joey’s other arm.

        “No, now we kiss,” Joey said, and planted a wet, sloppy kiss on his cheek.

        “Oh, god, Joey, get off of me,” Lance said, pushing at Joey’s chest.  He turned his head, and Joey’s kiss skidded over his mouth, and suddenly they were kissing, kissing deep and wet, Lance’s hands on Joey’s shoulders, Joey’s hands on his back.  Lance moaned first, a quiet, low moan calculated to get Joey’s attention and make Joey aware of exactly what they were doing.

        Never breaking their kiss, Joey lifted him off of his feet, sitting him on the edge of his desk, moving between his thighs.

        Lance wanted to celebrate his triumph.  He wrapped his arms around Joey’s shoulders, letting Joey grab his ass to keep their hips in contact, grinding against him.  Joey’s kiss was using a lot of tongue to dominate his mouth, so Lance gave Joey a lot of tongue back.

        Joey made an aroused, I want to fuck you now, noise, and started pushing things off of Lance’s desk.  Lance heard his phone hit the floor as he was lowered to his back across his own desk.  He gripped Joey’s hips, pulling Joey along; Joey started to climb onto him, hands exploring him without shame, getting familiar with his chest, his hips, his thighs, his hard-on.  Lance’s dick loved Joey’s hand, and by the time Joey was finished groping him there, Lance was rock-hard and panting Joey’s name.

        “Fuck,” Joey said, and then Joey was kissing his neck, sucking it.  Joey’s hands were on Lance’s fly, and before Lance had time to disbelieve, Joey was opening Lance’s jeans, pulling them and his boxers down, licking at his voicebox.

        If Joey was at all disturbed by Lance’s erection jumping out at him, he didn’t show it.  He was too busy unzipping his own pants and cupping Lance’s hips, feeling the shape of them in his hands.  Kissing Lance’s mouth, he pulled Lance’s hips to the edge of the desk, his hand between Lance’s legs, his middle finger rubbing along the cleft of Lance’s ass.  His other hand rose to Lance’s hair, pulling back Lance’s head, sucking on Lance’s voicebox.

        Spreading his legs, inviting, begging with his body, Lance reached back blindly, yanking his drawer open, fingers scrabbling for the tube.  He found it, and Joey took it from him.  Lance ran his hands down Joey’s chest, shoving Joey’s shirt up.  He ran his fingers through Joey’s chest hair, feeling the dense muscle underneath.

        Then he felt the insistent prodding of Joey’s finger, the inside-out stroking, and his body started to close up, resisting.  Lance breathed hard against Joey’s neck, one arm around Joey’s shoulders, one hand stroking down Joey’s stomach to Joey’s erection.  He moaned at the thickness of it, his head back, eyes closed, imagining it forcing its way into his body, stretching him, pressing deep.  Joey was sucking hard right where his neck met his shoulder, and Joey’s finger found his prostate, and he groaned, and Joey bit his neck, and he groaned louder, tightening his grip on Joey’s dick, wanting Joey inside him right damned now.

        Joey’s finger was out, and Joey made Lance let go of his dick.  It was time, it was time, Lance was more than ready for this.  Lance moaned, hooking his legs over Joey’s shoulders.

        Joey thrust into him.

        Lance groaned, gripping the edge of the desk.  So…fucking…big…

        “Fuck, fuck,” Joey said breathlessly, “hold still.”

        Lance didn’t want to hold still, he wanted to move, because he knew that this was going to be phenomenal, and he’d waited too long.

        “Damn, damn,” Joey said, and he put his hands over Lance’s head, gripping the far edge of the desk.  Then he thrust.

        Lance felt an explosion, like a fireball, erupt throughout his entire body.  It was like a firecracker had gone off inside of him.  Holding onto the desk with one hand, so Joey wouldn’t fuck him right off of it, he clutched at Joey’s ass with his other hand, holding on there, too.  Joey’s ass, like the rest of him, was thick and dense with muscle; it was satisfying to grab onto.

        Lance didn’t know how much noise he was making, and he didn’t care.  Each pounding, punishing thrust had him exploding, detonating, launching into space.  He let go of the desk, not caring if he was fucked right across the desk and onto the floor.  He didn’t want to hold on; he wanted to let go and, for once in his life, just experience.

        Every explosive thrust had Lance’s dick harder and fuller than the one before, or so it felt; and Lance had passed the ready-to-come phase many thrusts before.  His balls had drawn up tight to his body, and there was an ache deep in his cock, straining for release.  Lance took his cock in hand, closing his eyes.  He barely had to move his hand; Joey had pushed him so close to the brink, all his body needed was an excuse.  After the first few strokes, he was coming, groaning, tensing, shuddering, spurting hot cum onto his chest.  As he milked out the last drops, his brain nothing but static, he heard, “Oh, god, fuck, Lance.”  Joey slammed into him harder, harder, harder, and then stopped.

        Joey was coming.  The tension in Joey’s body, those dark lusting groans, the tension draining away.  Joey had fucked him across the desk, at least somewhat; his shoulders were between the hands Joey had braced on the far side of the desk, his head hanging back over the side.  He breathed, and Joey let his legs relax, and Joey’s hands on his hips slid him back to his original position.

        Lance looked up and met Joey’s eyes.

        “Lance,” Joey said, and it was still there.  The sex was over, Joey had come, but it was still there, that desire, that fascination, that lust.  Joey had had him, and Joey still wanted him.

        Lance gently pushed Joey aside, sitting up, getting off of the desk.  He pulled his shirt down and put on his pants, zipping his fly.

        “Lance,” Joey said, reaching for him, turning him around, trying to pull him close.

        “How about a rain check for that lunch, okay?” Lance asked, moving away, putting his phone back on the desk, finding scattered pens, gathering up his papers.

        “Lance.”  Unsure this time.

        “I’ll see you later, Joey.”  Lance was out the door.  Odds were good that Joey would be coming after him, so he got to his car as quickly as possible.  On the road, he took an extra turn and pulled into a large parking lot, hidden and anonymous.  He turned off the car, folding his arms over the steering wheel, resting his head there.

        He’d planned it, and his plan had worked perfectly.  He’d wanted Joey to fuck him, and he’d gotten what he’d wanted.  He should feel smug, he should be planning ahead, he should be preparing for the next step.

        He didn’t know what he was feeling, but whatever he was feeling now, and whatever he’d felt back in his office - - he’d never felt anything like it before.

        Lance tensed his muscles to deny the wave of residual pleasure washing through him.