Copyright April 2, 2002-June 2, 2003 by Matthew Haldeman-Time

Rating: NC-17 for graphic male-male sex

Pairings: Thus far we've had JC/Justin, Nick/Drew/Brian, Nick/Jeff, Nick/Drew/Brian/Nick/Jeff, AJ/Lance, AJ/Howie, AJ/Kevin, Chris/Howie, and partridge/pear tree.

Disclaimer: The young men who comprise the Backstreet Boys, *NSYNC, and 98 Degrees are their own people. The author has not met anyone here described, nor does the author mean to suggest that these people act this way in real life. This writing is a work of fiction. I make no money from this venture.

Dedication: This slashfic is for Ewan McGregor and the Savage Garden slashwriters.  Also, thank you to Bella for helping me out with a little last-minute panic.

Wherein Drew won't go behind Brian's back, AJ can screw anybody he wants, and could JC be mellowing?

Notice: First, read "I Need You Tonight," "Boy Lead the Way to Ecstasy," "Not Easy," "No One," "Rest in Peace," "Destiny," and "Together." I know it sounds like a lot, but it'll only take you an hour or two.

            "Hmm."  JC licked Justin's cheek.  His mouth tasted like food, and that was wrong.  He wanted to taste Justin.
 

            Justin wished he and JC were closer.
 

            JC nuzzled him for comfort.

            Why did they always use his shit for this stuff, and not Drew's?  God, he sucked as a dom.  He was going to have to work on that.
 

            He'd swung free a time or two before, figuring anything AJ did he could do, but it wasn't necessarily his thing.  It was fun, but weird.  Brian had tried it once, but that hadn't worked too well, because he'd spent all day getting in Brian's pants.  It was an irresistible temptation, having Brian's dick that close to him, knowing that it was unrestricted.
 

            Nick loved Brian's dick.
 

            Nick loved Drew's dick.
 

            He'd have to go suck it.
 

            He went in to find Drew.
 

            98 Nick was getting his face powdered.  Jeff was getting his hair done.  Justin was talking.  Nick found the private dressing room.  Look, Drew.  Mmm, Drew with styled hair and pouty red lips.  "No, don't get up, I'm enjoying the view."
 

            Drew made an embarrassed, disgusted noise.
 

            "Does this door lock?" Nick asked.
 

            "Why would you want it to?" Drew asked, suspicious.
 

            "No reason."  Aha, it did.  Click.
 

            "Nick..."
 

            "Don't worry.  I won't smear your lipstick."  He knelt down in front of where Drew was sitting on the couch, and reached for Drew's fly.
 

            "No," Drew said.  "We can't."
 

            Nick cupped Drew through his underwear, enjoying the feel of it, making Drew harder.  Poor Drew, trapped in there.  Mmm, Drew was getting thick...
 

            "I'm going to be mad at you later," Drew said.
 

            "Stop squirming."
 

            "I can't...help it..."  Drew groaned.  "Let me..."
 

            "Let you what?" Nick asked.  He pulled Drew's jeans down to Drew's ankles, then spread Drew's thighs and pressed his open mouth where Drew wanted it.
 

            Drew moaned, sounding hurt.
 

            Nick dragged his tongue over the stretched cotton, making Drew feel it.
 

            "Let me...  In your...  Mouth...  Put me...  I want..."  Drew moaned, and Nick heard his insides melt.  Good Drew.  "Please..."
 

            Nick pulled Drew's underwear down.  Drew's naked erection was thick and long, and Nick's mouth watered for that throbbing flesh.  Drew was making a slightly choked, panting sound.  Drew loved getting blowjobs.  Nick loved giving them: loved making Brian and Drew beg and push, loved burying his face in their hot groins, loved thighs and asses in his hands, loved sucking and slurping, loved the sudden spurts of hot cum down his throat, loved having dick in his mouth.  Nick loved having dick in his mouth.
 

            He licked up Drew's shaft.  Immediately, he felt Drew's eager hands in his hair.  He gave another lick, slower, softer.  Drew moaned, and the muscles in Drew's thigh flexed.  Drew loved the soft shit, loved it, got all breathless and melted for it.  Drew also loved it wet and nasty.  Drew even loved it quick and hard, but couldn't take that one too often.
 

            Nick wasn't in the mood for soft, but that moan had gotten to him.  He gently passed wet lips over the head of Drew's cock.  Drew panted, abs twitching under Nick's left hand.  Nick's lips caressed the shaft.  More panting, breathless moaning.
 

            Nick took his right hand off Drew's thigh and nudged one finger to the private fucking place.  He probed in.
 

            That groan was new.  Drew's hands tightened on Nick's scalp.  Nick licked up pre-cum and took Drew in, swallowing Drew down and backing off again, getting into a quick rhythm, forgetting about soft, doing it wet and direct.  Spit and pre-cum created a slick slide as Nick went up and down on Drew's dick, his finger working in clenched muscle.
 

            Nick really wanted to fuck Drew.  His left hand dropped from Drew's abs and pulled his hard-on from his track pants.  He wasn't as good at jacking himself with this hand, but he wasn't picky at the moment.
 

            Drew was starting to fight him, overstimulated, demanding and bitchy.  Drew wanted to buck up and fuck down his throat, but his finger up Drew's ass was holding Drew in place.  Drew wanted more fingers, too, or maybe something more substantial than a mere finger, but Nick wasn't giving more, so Drew was mad about that, too.  He started moaning and fussing, refusing to hold still, rocking.
 

            Nick pulled on his own dick, groaning, wishing he were fucking Drew, planning to do that as soon as possible.  He gave Drew two fingers just to shut Drew up, and swallowed Drew down his throat.
 

            Drew came pretty hard, jetting hot cream.  Nick closed his eyes and lived it out, Drew's dick twitching and spurting, Drew's ass tightening on his fingers, Drew moaning soft and very, very satisfied.
 

            Nick's phone rang.  He opened his eyes and backed off of Drew's dick.
 

            Drew's hand grabbed Nick's wrist.  He looked up; Drew's eyes were closed.  Okay, he'd leave that hand where it was.  He let go of his dick, shoved it back in his pants, and wiped pre-cum on his thigh before finding his phone.  "Hello?"  He coughed.  Damn.
 

            "Nick?"
 

            He coughed some more.  "Damn, your cum's thicker than Brian's.  Didn't I just get you off an hour ago?  What are you doing, mass-producing harder than usual today?"
 

            "Is that Drew?" AJ's voice asked.  "Let me talk to him."
 

            "Hey, no.  Not until you tell me how Brian is."
 

            "Brian?" AJ asked.
 

            "I know something's wrong, and every time I try to call, his phone's busy.  What's going on?"
 

            "Why would anything be wrong?"
 

            "Something's wrong.  Is he okay?"
 

            "Nick, you're nowhere near Brian.  How can you know anything's going on?"
 

            "I feel it, damn it.  Did you talk to him?"
 

            "We may have conversed briefly.  Let me talk to Drew."
 

            "Why do you want to talk to Drew?"  As an experiment, Nick moved his fingers.  A brief spasm of pleasure passed over Drew's face.  "You were talking to him the other day, too."
 

            "We're having an affair."
 

            "Bite me.  You are not."  He crooked his fingers and found Drew's prostate.  Slow, satisfied moan.  Slight smile.  Drew was having happy, post-orgasm downtime.  "You can't talk to Drew right now, anyway."
 

            "Fine.  Can I talk to his brother?"
 

            "Not here right now."
 

            "Then go find him."
 

            "You have his number somewhere.  Call him yourself."
 

            "You could be making my life so much easier right now."
 

            "Sorry.  Tell me what's wrong with Brian."
 

            "He's fine.  Stop worrying."
 

            "Tell him to call me."
 

            "He'll call you when he wants to call you."
 

            "Asshole."
 

            "Good-bye, Nick."
 

            Nick hung up and watched Drew.  He kept his voice low and unintrusive.  "Are you enjoying the fullness itself, or do you want to feel fucked?"
 

            Drew moaned, tightening his hold on Nick's wrist, pulling slightly.
 

            Drew wanted to feel fucked.  "Do you want my fingers, my dick, or my tongue?"
 

            Another moan, fuller.  Drew's eyebrows came together.  He didn't know.  Conflict.  A softer moan, and he pulled at Nick's wrist again.
 

            Fingers.  Okay.  Nick stroked Drew from the inside.
 

            Drew's lips parted.  Soft, wanting, "Fist me."
 

            Oh god shit hellfuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck-  Nick tried to keep his major organs from leaping like that again.  "Drew?"  Where in hell had that come from?  And why would God punish Nick like this?  He wanted to do it, he wanted to do it right then and there, but he couldn't without Brian.  And after that two-word revelation, Drew's soft request, Nick's cock was so hard it hurt.  "Drew, let me fuck you.  It'll be quick."  Drew wanting his fist, Drew's steadily simmering aroused satisfaction, Drew's ass tight and hot for his fingers, had Nick's erection throbbing and leaking.  He wanted Drew.  Drew wanted erotic pleasure and stimulation.  Drew had to say yes.
 

            Drew pushed at Nick's wrist, kicking his feet out of his jeans, raising his knees and spreading his legs.
 

            Hot.  Damn.  Nick twisted his fingers loose and moved in, pulling Drew into position, this warm and willing body.  Drew's sexual availability was the sexiest fucking thing Nick could imagine in that moment.  Lubing took seconds, and Nick thrust in.  Drew's lashes fluttered, and Drew's hands clutched at the backs of Nick's thighs.  It didn't take long.  A few thrusts, the sound of Drew's aroused moans, and Nick was coming.
 

            He slid out.
 

            Drew, panting slightly, opened his eyes.
 

            Nick swallowed.  "Hi."
 

            Pant, pant.  "Hi."
 

            "You're always more than I bargain for."
 

            Smile.  "So are you."
 

            Drew really did mean that, which was good for Nick's ego.  "Your make-up looks okay."
 

            "You realize I don't care," Drew said.
 

            "Yeah, but if you're all mussed, I'll get in trouble.  Your hair looks okay, too, I think."
 

            Drew stretched under him.  Sexy.
 

            "We really need to buy you some ass toys."
 

            "Why?" Drew asked.  "I have you.  You're a whole playground."
 

            Nick grinned.  Cool.  Avoiding the subject, but cool.  "I guess I should get off of you so you can put your pants back on and go work or something."
 

            "I guess."  Drew idly fixed Nick's hair.
 

            "Something's wrong with Brian."  Oops.  He hadn't meant to say it.  Maybe later, but not right then.
 

            "What?"  Drew looked concerned.
 

            "Not...  I mean, he's okay, and everything.  I think.  It's just this feeling.  Like something's wrong.  I called him every thirty seconds for an hour, but his phone was always busy."
 

            "You're worried," Drew said, touching Nick's cheek.
 

            "He's probably okay, I'm just being stupid, but I feel like he needs me.  Needs us."
 

            "He'll call," Drew said.  "But you can keep trying.  Nick, if it were anything, anything at all, you know he'd have told us.  Someone would have told us.  They wouldn't keep something from us."
 

            "I know."
 

            "Can you feel him?" Drew asked.  "Really?"
 

            "I doubt it."
 

            "But you do.  You are."
 

            "It's not like when he stubs his toe my toe hurts," Nick said.
 

            "Something's wrong, he's hurt or upset, and you know that."
 

            "I'm probably wrong."
 

            "You can feel him," Drew said softly, wondering.
 

            "Don't look at me like that."
 

            "Like what?"
 

            "All soft and gazing like I'm special."
 

            Drew smiled.  "You are special."
 

            "You should get dressed."
 

            Drew draped his arms around Nick's neck.  "Make love to me."
 

            "Now?" Nick asked, feeling a quick inner surge.
 

            "I like the way you feel inside me."
 

            Oh, it was definite.  "I'm buying you ass toys."
 

            "Put your fingers in me."
 

            Nick pushed two fingers in.
 

            Drew closed his eyes, concentrating on the feeling.
 

            Nick rubbed in and out.
 

            "Mmm.  Mmm.  Unh..."
 

            "You get off on it," Nick said.  "Look at you."
 

            "It feels so...  Oh..."
 

            "Being opened?  Being entered?  The penetration?"
 

            "Oh...  Yes..."
 

            "Do you get turned on when you-"
 

            Drew's eyes opened.  "Nick Carter Littrell Lachey, if you finish that sentence..."
 

            "I'm just asking."
 

            "That's disgusting."
 

            "Never mind."
 

            "Thank you."
 

            Nick pulled his fingers out.  "I'm buying you toys."
 

            "I might try them.  If."  Drew stopped to get his attention.
 

            "If?"
 

            "If you use them on me."
 

            "On you."  Like, not just with, but on.
 

            "Yes."
 

            "Hell.  Okay."  Nick had to close down whole parts of his brain to keep from screwing Drew over that idea.  "You do realize that Brian will be there.  Helping."
 

            Drew almost didn't answer.  "Yes."
 

            "I don't know if I made something clear.  I love you, and I want you to be open and happy, and I'm going to do everything I can to keep you this way.  Because you're Drew and I love you and you're trusting me to get you through this.  It's my responsibility to you.  But it's also my responsibility to make Brian happy.  He wants you, and I'm taking you to him, like a cat laying a dead mouse at his owner's feet."
 

            "Nice image," Drew said.  He ran his hand over Nick's shoulder.  "I see what you're saying.  Half of this, you're doing for me.  Half of this, you're doing for him."
 

            "Yes."
 

            Drew's fingers drifted back towards Nick's shoulder blade.  "What can I do for you to make you happy like you're making Brian happy?"
 

            "As Brian's dom, but my sub?"
 

            "Yes."  Drew waited patiently.
 

            Arousal stirred.
 

            Drew waited.
 

            Filthy images were dancing in Nick's head.
 

            Someone knocked.
 

            "Shit!" Nick said, and started to scramble.
 

            "No, we're just trying to find Drew," Jeff said loudly and pleasantly.  "He's probably in there taking a quick nap."
 

            Feet in the leg holes, feet in the leg holes...
 

            "Oh, yeah, he's probably just sleeping," 98 Nick was saying.  "We'll get him and be right out."
 

            Stupid fucking zipper!  Damn it!
 

            "No, no problem, we'll be right there," Jeff said.
 

            They blotted furiously at Drew's sweat.  Shit, Drew's hair couldn't have been meant to look like this in the back.
 

            "Drew, we have point eight two seconds to get out there and get our mikes," Nick said from the other side of the door.
 

            Nick unlocked the door and pulled it open.  "Quit rushing him, he's on his way."
 

            Drew finished tucking in his shirt and flashed them all a smile.
 

            "Right," Jeff said.  "The picture of innocence."

            "Chris.  It's Joey."
 

            "Yeah, it sounds like Joey, so I may be persuaded to believe you."
 

            "Where are you?"
 

            "In some store where one shirt costs more than my last car."
 

            "Shopping for Howie?"
 

            "You know it.  What's going on?"
 

            "I have to talk to somebody.  Lance went off his rocker, JC and Justin are doing their thing..."
 

            "So that leaves me?"
 

            "Yeah, that leaves you."
 

            "Talk to Brian."
 

            "It's about Brian."
 

            "Lance went off his rocker?"
 

            "Yeah."
 

            "Okay, give me half an hour?"
 

            "Yeah, okay."
 

            Chris hung up.  As he turned to go, his fingers brushed a touch-me, stroke-me, fuck-me fabric.  He pulled the hanger off the rack.  Button-down, long sleeves, right size.  Rich brown.  Perfect.  He checked the price tag.  Holy shit.
 

            Well, if he sold all of his possessions, lived on grass and dirt, and maxed out every line of credit he had, maybe he could afford it.
 

            There was no way he was buying one shirt that cost more than his entire wardrobe.
 

            But Howie would look good in it.
 

            The house he'd bought for his mother cost less than this item of clothing.
 

            But Howie would feel good in it.
 

            He'd have to sell his soul to the devil to pay for it.  He'd have to start selling Justin's stuff behind his back on eBay.  He'd have to sell JC as a black market sex slave.
 

            But it was for Howie.
 

            "Ring it up."

            He was sick of waiting.  Sick of waiting for his life to change.  Sick of waiting for everything to be perfect.  Nothing in his life was ever perfect.  Why couldn't his life be perfect?  Justin's life was perfect.  Justin's life always had been perfect and always would be perfect because Justin was perfect, and Lance wasn't Justin.  Justin had the perfect life.  Justin had the perfect face.  Justin had the perfect husband.  Lance was always off, somehow, never quite good enough, never quite perfect.
 

            Until AJ.  Except for AJ.  AJ had been perfect.  Perfect against his body.  Perfect in his hands.  Perfect.
 

            But Lance didn't have AJ anymore.
 

            Justin still had JC.
 

            JC was in love with Justin.  Obsessed with Justin.  JC made Justin perfect.  JC saw Justin as perfect.  Without JC, Justin might have slipped, fallen, into being almost-normal, almost-anybody.  JC made Justin perfect.
 

            AJ had made Lance feel perfect.
 

            JC could make Lance feel perfect.
 

            AJ had made Lance feel wanted and sexy and loved and warm and a dozen, a million, other things that he'd never experienced before.  He'd been somebody, and no one could compete.
 

            He'd seen the way JC made Justin feel.  He'd seen it on Justin's face, in Justin's eyes.  JC made Justin feel perfect, more than perfect, superhuman.  He'd heard some of the things that JC whispered to Justin.  He wanted someone to whisper those things into his ears, to make him believe them the way JC made Justin believe them.
 

            Lance wanted to be perfect in someone's eyes.  Lance wanted to feel loved.  Lance wanted to feel the way Justin felt, one more time.
 

            JC made Justin feel that way every second of every day, and Justin didn't even appreciate it.  Justin took it for granted.  Justin abused it.  That self-absorbed, over-spoiled little fuck.
 

            Lance didn't have AJ anymore.
 

            He was going to take JC.

            "It's all related," Joey said, sitting to face him.  "Lance has been on the verge of losing it since last night.  He's been doing weird shit.  Today, he went ballistic on Brian.  Yelling at him, hitting him, the whole nine.  Now he's locked up in his room and Brian's going home early."
 

            "Why did he attack Brian?  Are we talking about the same Brian?  Lance has nothing against him, besides the company he keeps."
 

            "I don't know, Lance was saying a whole bunch of shit.  He's implying that Brian is doing Justin and, I think, that Brian is doing me, which is all a bunch of bullshit.  He said something about since Brian's doing everybody, what would it take for Brian to do him, too?  Then he went off about how holy and self-righteous Brian is, and how it's all an act, since Brian's fucking around and only interested in dick, not love.  Brian was holding back, saying he wouldn't get into it with Lance for AJ's sake, and that's when Lance hit him."
 

            "Brian's a convenient target, someone Lance thinks he can vent his rage on without beating up one of us."
 

            "Yeah."
 

            "Brian shouldn't have brought up AJ."
 

            "It didn't help."
 

            "Did he mention Nick?"
 

            "Oh, yeah.  The biggest whore of all who Brian only keeps around for sex, I think he said."
 

            Chris groaned, burying his face in his hands.  "We might as well start making funeral arrangements now."
 

            "Brian's leaving tomorrow morning.  He says if he stays, it'll be bad, so he's going home."
 

            "Joey, Brian's only one person.  There's still Nick and Drew and everyone else.  Lance yelled at Brian, which is not done.  He talked about Nick, which is not done.  He hit Brian, which is never done."
 

            "I know.  Lance wasn't thinking.  He's been itching for a fight, and I wouldn't give him one, so he turned on Brian."
 

            "Great choice.  Great, great choice.  Lance is dead."
 

            "What's really going to happen?" Joey asked, trying to be reasonable.
 

            "Have you looked at Drew Lachey?" Chris asked.  "Have you ever seen him?  The man has muscle in places I didn't know existed."
 

            "Drew's too nice.  He's not going to beat Lance up."
 

            "I wouldn't bet on that.  There's also Nick, and he will beat Lance up if he gets the chance."
 

            "I can take Carter."
 

            "You're going to take on Lance's fights for him?"
 

            "I'm not letting anybody beat him up!"
 

            "Joey, Joey, Joey.  You're a good friend.  I hope Nick doesn't break anything too serious."
 

            "Thanks."
 

            Chris plucked at the bedspread.
 

            "I...  You're close to Howie.  Does he...tell you things?"
 

            "Tell me things about what?"
 

            "Maybe things that are supposed to be Backstreet-only."
 

            "Probably not.  He likes me and all, but we're not that close."
 

            "Oh."  Joey looked down.
 

            "Why?" Chris asked.
 

            "I was just wondering."
 

            "About what?"
 

            "Something Lance said."
 

            "Something Lance said in a fit of anger, or something Lance said during a period of calm?"
 

            "He said something about Brian and Nick Timmons-Lachey."
 

            "Something about what?"
 

            "Something about Brian fucking Nick."
 

            "Brian fucks the young Nick, not the in-law Nick."
 

            "No, he meant the in-law Nick."
 

            "Nick is married to Jeff.  Brian's married to Drew."
 

            "Maybe it was before that."
 

            "When Brian and Nick Carter were broken up?"
 

            "I don't know."
 

            "What did Lance say?"
 

            "He mentioned Jeff, too."
 

            "So maybe the three of them had one wild weekend at some point before Brian and Nick got back together."
 

            "I don't know."
 

            "Ask JC."
 

            "How would JC know?" Joey asked.
 

            "If Nick knows, Nick Carter, then he probably told JC."
 

            "I guess so."
 

            "Joey, don't worry about it.  Brian's not cheating on Nick or Drew."
 

            "Justin and I talked to him one time.  It's like talking to JC.  You mention a certain name in front of him, it's like dangling bait.  He can't wait to start talking.  Justin brought up Nick, and from there it was half an hour of him telling us that Nick is his sunlight."
 

            "His sunlight?"
 

            "His sunlight.  He meant it, too.  He was so...passionate about it, inside, so even when he's smiling and quiet I know that inside him, there's a pulsing mass of love for Nick.  It's like Nick and Drew are part of his life force.  At least, I thought so.  I don't know."
 

            "Joey, stop it.  Don't listen to Lance's bullshit.  Brian's not cheating on Nick or Drew.  Love like that can't be faked.  He wouldn't do anything to put it in jeopardy, either.  They mean too much to him."
 

            "People do stupid things for sex."
 

            "I have a pretty good idea that the sex life Brian has is enough to keep him happy.  Tell me you wouldn't like to give it to Nick once or twice."
 

            "Chris!"
 

            "I, myself, in theory, speaking for my dick only and not the rest of me, would like to go a few rounds with Nick Carter.  I know you would, too.  Brian gets that any time he wants it.  Why go anywhere else if you have that?"
 

            "Good point."

            "What?" Drew asked.
 

            "I've called Brian, AJ, Kevin, Howie, JC, and Justin.  Nobody picks up.  I called Chris, and he hung up on me.  I finally got the number of their hotel and convinced them to get me through to Chris's room, but he made a horrible squeal in my ear and hung up.  Something's going on, and Howie's little girlfriend knows what it is.  He'd better start talking."
 

            "Chris doesn't have to obey your every command just because he's dating Howie," Drew said.
 

            Nick gave Drew a look.
 

            "Okay, I guess he does," Drew said.  "For the record, not everyone thinks you're a higher class of person."
 

            "They'll learn," Nick said.  "You think so."
 

            "Yes, but I'm slightly biased."
 

            Someone came to the doorway.  Justin Jeffre slipped out of the room.
 

            "What's with him?" Nick asked.
 

            "What?" Drew asked.
 

            "All week he's been having hushed, private phone conversations."
 

            "Maybe he doesn't like to share his personal business with the world," Drew said.
 

            "I only do that sometimes," Nick said.
 

            Drew laughed.
 

            Justin came back in and approached them.  He handed Nick a jewel case with a wink and moved on.
 

            "Jackpot," Nick said with a wide grin.
 

            "What is it?" Drew asked.
 

            "Nothing," Nick said.
 

            "What is it?" Drew asked, reaching for it.
 

            Nick held it behind his back and raised his foot to Drew's abs, holding Drew at bay.  "None of your business.  Don't you have work to do?"
 

            "Let me see it."
 

            "It's between me and Justin."
 

            "You can't keep secrets from me."
 

            "I can't keep secrets from Brian," Nick corrected.  "I can keep anything I want from you.  Hey!  Get away!"  He wrapped one arm around Drew and held Drew to his lap.  "You need to learn to behave yourself."
 

            "Let me see it," Drew said.
 

            "I'll tell you later."
 

            "Not good enough."  Drew grabbed for it.
 

            "Jeff!" Nick called.  "Get him off me!"
 

            "Not fair, not fair!" Drew said as Jeff lifted him up and dragged him back a few yards.
 

            Nick blew Drew a kiss.  "Have fun at work."

            Lance had attacked Brian.  Punched Brian repeatedly, in the face.  Said things about Brian that went against everything Brian was and worked hard to maintain.  Said things about Nick that had been thought by too many for too long.  Dared to abuse a subject that was so private that Kevin and Brian had never spoken of it.
 

            And that was the man AJ was going back to?  This bitter, hateful person filled with poison?
 

            AJ was too good for Lance.
 

            Kevin was going to have to control himself.  He was going to have to force himself into silence.  If he spoke against Lance or made any move, his motives would be suspect.  No one would believe that he wanted better for AJ for AJ's sake; they'd all think that he only wanted AJ for himself.
 

            And he did.
 

            But it wasn't about him.  He was no longer in AJ's life in that capacity.  He was AJ's friend, and as AJ's friend, he never wanted to see Lance near AJ.
 

            He couldn't do anything about it.
 

            That wasn't his place.
 

            Lance had attacked Brian.
 

            He couldn't even do anything about that.  Even his moves on that score would be brought into question.
 

            But he couldn't let it go.  He couldn't let Lance go unpunished.  He had to do something.
 

            He had to do something.
 

            He had to think of something.
 

            He couldn't think of anything, while his mind was filled with one simple, poisonous image of Lance's hands on AJ's body.

            Nick was grinning.  At Nick.
 

            "What?" Nick asked, self-conscious, glad to see Nick looking happy but nervous about that gleam in his eye.
 

            "When you sing that song...  How do you sing it?" Nick asked.  "How can you..."
 

            Justin was turning away, smothering a laugh.
 

            "What song?" Nick asked.
 

            "Would you sing it for me?" Nick asked.
 

            "Sing what?" Nick asked, going through songs in his head, trying to guess.
 

            "So, where, exactly, are you trying to touch her?  And what are you trying to get everywhere?"
 

            Jeff put his hand over his mouth and pivoted quickly, trying to escape the shocked mortification on Nick's face.  Drew hid his face in Jeff's shoulder, shaking with suppressed laughter.
 

            Nick found words.  "I'm not..."
 

            "You're trying to get your hand up her snatch?" Nick asked.  "I mean, baby, can I touch you there, that could be anywhere, but it sounds like-"
 

            "It doesn't sound like anything!" Nick said quickly.
 

            "You want to get it everywhere, what is that?  If it's literal, the only thing I can think of is your jism, but I don't know, do girls like being sprayed down like that?"
 

            "Oh my god," Jeff said, trying to hold Drew up.
 

            "I'm not spraying down anybody!" Nick said.  "We don't even sing that song!  And it's not just me, they're singing it, too!"
 

            "It sounds like you," Nick said.  "They're just doing back-up.  You're the one trying to screw some girl up against kitchen appliances.  No, really, you must have some idea of it when you sing it.  What are you trying to get everywhere?"
 

            "I have to go," Nick said.  "We have to go."
 

            "You do realize that children listen to your songs, right?  You all are so proud that you have fans from the Pampers years to the Depends years, but did you think about those little kids when you broke into 'push my hand down there?'"
 

            "We don't even sing that song!" Nick said.  "It never made it onto the album!  Where did you even-"  He whirled around.  "Justin!"
 

            "Time to go," Justin said, and was out the door.
 

            "So you like to come all over people?" Nick asked.  "With girls, aren't you usually up inside them when you get off?"
 

            "I don't do girls!" Nick said.
 

            "Okay, women."
 

            "I don't - - you - - stop it!"
 

            "Stop what?" Nick asked.  "You look kind of flustered.  Do you spray Jeff down when you're with him?  Not everybody likes being creamed on, you know.  You should think of these things when you write songs."
 

            "I didn't write it!" Nick shouted.
 

            "There's no need to yell," Nick asked.  "We're just having a simple discussion, artist to artist."
 

            "We're-"
 

            "All right," Jeff said, stepping in between them.  "Let's go."
 

            "Does Nick touch you there?" Nick asked.  "Or don't you like being called 'baby?'"
 

            Jeff pulled his Nick towards the door.
 

            "Does he get it everywhere?" Nick asked.
 

            They were gone.  The door closed.
 

            Drew burst into laughter.
 

            "How could you keep a straight face singing that song?" Nick demanded.  "It's ridiculous.  Hey, can we have sex on the refrigerator?"

            Justin catalogued each strand of hair on JC's shin.

            It was happening.
 

            He was getting the call.
 

            He'd been dreading this moment.  The moment when he, as Lance's best friend and fellow band member, had to defend Lance's actions against Brian, Howie's best friend and fellow band member.
 

            He couldn't do it.  He was too scared.
 

            There was no reason for fear.  Howie was a reasonable human being.
 

          Howie dropped Steve, shaking out the hand he'd hurt while breaking Steve's nose.
 

            Maybe he just wouldn't answer the phone.  Ever again.
 

            No, he could do this.  It would be fine.  It wasn't like Howie would break up with him over it.  It wasn't like, given the right impetus, Howie would pick Brian over him.
 

            Right.
 

            Chris cracked himself up sometimes.
 

            "Hello?"
 

            "Chris."
 

            He hoped he sounded normal.  "Howie."  Nope, too high.
 

            "Chris, my Chris."  Quiet sigh.  "It'll be in Lance's best interests if you keep him locked up somewhere until Brian's gone."
 

            "Oh...okay."  Too nervous.
 

            "We haven't told Nick yet.  Has anyone on your end?"
 

            "JC and Justin are out of service right now, and I either don't answer or hang up on him."  Too fast.
 

            "Good."
 

            "Howie?"  Too...plaintive.
 

            "Yes?"
 

            "Nothing."  Far too intimidated.
 

            "Chris, I'm not mad at you.  It's not your fault.  You can't control Lance any more than I can control AJ.  We're all adults.  We have interdependent relationships, but we're not in charge of each other.  I wish that I were there to impress upon him a few important facts, but I'm not, and I don't expect you to do it for me."
 

            "Which important facts?"
 

            "Don't get me started."
 

            Chris backed off of that one.  "You're not mad at me?"
 

            "No, Chris, I'm not mad at you."
 

            "That's..."  Chris coughed.  "That's good."  He ventured another question.  "Are you going to kill Lance?"
 

            "We're making arrangements."
 

            Scary.
 

            "I have to go.  I just wanted to call you and let you know that you should stop worrying about my reaction to this."
 

            "Worry?"
 

            "I've met you.  It was an educated guess."
 

            "I'm not worried."
 

            "Glad to hear it."  Warmth.  "Chris, my love."
 

            Chris's knots of fear untied.  "Howie, my love."
 

            "I'll call you later."
 

            "Okay."
 

            "I love you."
 

            "Oh..."  His eyes closed.
 

            Light, seductive chuckle, right in Chris's ear.  "Good-bye."

            He was leaving.  After tonight, he only had one more night, and then good-bye.
 

            He watched them onstage.  Justin J., the man with the hook-up and the right word at the right time.  Nick, who went through one thing after another but always came back for more, ready to face anything for the sake of those he loved.  Jeff, guidance and guardian.  Drew, his angel, his sub, his.
 

            Nick liked Justin J.  He even loved him.  Justin J. was always down, for anything, and that was more than cool.
 

            Nick liked Nick.  Okay, he loved Nick.  They shared a bond.  A Nick bond.  Drew was right, there was some static in their communication, but they did understand each other.  He might have been a little bit in love with Nick, but he wasn't going to volunteer that information anytime soon.  Especially not to Nick.  Nick had made him feel things, very deep things in very private places inside, both good and bad, wonderful and scary.  He was too, too vulnerable to Nick.
 

            Nick was in love with Jeff.  That one he could admit up front.  What had happened between them, in the end, hadn't been about him at all.  That had been about Jeff and Jeff's Nick.  And if Jeff and Jeff's Nick had patched it up and come to an understanding, then who was he to keep dragging it out?  Jeff had meant to hit the other Nick, but Jeff would never, could never, do that.  He'd just happened to be another Nick in the room, sitting there making noise instead of keeping his mouth shut.  His bad, Jeff's bad, Nick's bad, everybody's bad, but it was over.  Jeff was sorry.  Jeff had suffered for it, even more than he had, so he had to let it go, so Jeff could let it go.  He didn't want to cause Jeff pain.  Besides, it was kind of like what Drew had said to him, back in Kendig, about forgiving Brian so it would hurt less.  If he forgave Jeff, they'd both hurt less, and they could get past it, and they could be friends again.
 

            Nick watched Drew.  He'd memorized Drew's performance by now.  He couldn't wait to talk to Brian about it.  Drew's confidence.  Drew's sexy little moves.  That feeling-the-beat Drewdance.  The way the crowd cheered with sexual excitement when Drew paid them attention.
 

            Nick wanted to make love to Drew all night.  He wanted to work his dick to make Drew pant and moan.  He wanted to make Drew sweat and then lick it up.
 

            He hadn't gone dom on Drew yet.  He wasn't sure Drew was ready.  He wasn't sure he was ready.  He could do it as rock star Nick Carter, but as himself?  He didn't know how.  It was in him, inside of him, but he didn't know how to tap into it.  He didn't think it was going to be like when Drew did it, primal and growling.  He didn't think it was going to be like when Brian did it, either, because Brian never really had to do it, in bed.  With Brian, it was just a naturally assumed thing.
 

            What would it be like if Brian actually stopped and put some effort into it?
 

            Oh, getting a hard-on in track pants without wearing any underwear was a big mistake.  It was so obvious he was hard, he might as well have been wearing a neon sign.  He tried to think about other things, like how he was going to torture Chris to get the information he needed.
 

            Short and stupid was about to be in serious trouble.

            He ran his hands over his face.  Okay.  No problem.
 

            It was Lance.  Not a dark, sexual stranger.  Just Lance.  The blond kid from Mississippi who was too smart for his own good and had taken a few years to grow into that Adam's apple.  Just Lance.
 

            “You’re such a couple,” Chris said.  “Do you think no one’s noticed that you sleep together every night?"
 

            “Not every night,” Joey said.
 

            “That’s the weakest protest I think I’ve ever heard,” Chris said.  “And Lance has nothing to say, which leads me to believe yeah, you’re a couple.”
 

            “Joey’s doing me,” Lance said.  His eyes were half-closed, and as a result his heavy-lidded smile was almost sultry.  “He’s good, too.”
 

            “I’m good,” Joey told Chris.  Lance squeezed his knee under the table, then rubbed his thigh.  He fed Lance some more lemon chicken, and as he pulled the fork away, Lance licked the tines.
 

            Just Lance.

            "It's his new girlfriend," Nick said.
 

            "Girlfriend?" Nick asked.
 

            "Did you hear his voice?  It dropped to a register I've never heard, and he got all hushed with it.  Like he's doing a voice intro for a sex song."
 

            "I heard that," Drew said.
 

            "The way he's trying to hide it, you'd think she's married or something.  Is she?"
 

            "Justin wouldn't go out with a married woman," Nick said.
 

            "What happened to that girl he had in Kendig?" Nick asked.
 

            "She was a little unfaithful," Jeff said.
 

            "Bitch," Nick said.
 

            "Nick!" Drew said.
 

            "Oh, what?" Nick asked.  "Justin J. rocks the house.  She was lucky to have him."
 

            "Thank you," Justin said, coming back in and resuming his spot on the couch.
 

            "Kevin has a girlfriend, too," Nick said.  "Like that'll last."
 

            "Why wouldn't it?" Nick asked.
 

            "Him being balls over brain in love with someone else might have something to do with it," Nick said.  "Sure, he can control it, he can hide it, he can function in a complete, full, happy life without AJ, but if that were true, he wouldn't still be single and alone.  Anyone he settles down with, he'll be screwing over, and he knows it, and she'll know it, too."
 

            "I never, once, would have guessed that Kevin felt that way about AJ," Jeff said.
 

            "That's the way Kevin wanted it," Nick said.  "No one was ever supposed to know.  AJ wasn't supposed to know.  I mean, we all did know, but...  It was weird.  That's the way Kevin set it up.  Hey, AJ.  What is he talking to you guys about?"
 

            "What?" Drew asked.
 

            "Don't 'what' me," Nick said.  "Something's going on."
 

            "It's nothing," Nick said.  "He had a few questions."
 

            "About what?" Nick asked.
 

            "Tattoos," Drew said.  "Body art."
 

            "Right," Nick agreed.  "Tattoos."  He nodded.
 

            Nick looked at them with suspicion.  "You're not supposed to keep things from me."
 

            "Keep what from you?" Drew asked.
 

            "You can't know things about him that I don't know."
 

            "Why not?" Nick asked.
 

            "Yeah, why not?" Jeff asked.
 

            "Hey!  You're in on this, too?" Nick asked Jeff.
 

            "Nick tells me everything," Jeff said.
 

            "AJ tells me everything!" Nick said.
 

            "Apparently not," Justin said.
 

            "I'm going to find out," Nick warned them.  "I will know.  I'll make you tell me."
 

            "All right," Drew said mildly.  "You're welcome to try."
 

            "You all suck," Nick said.  "I want you to know that."
 

            "We'll try to pull through," Justin said.  "Anybody want more pizza?"

            Lance was in a tense knot in the corner of the sofa, watching TV.  He gave Joey a dark look.  "What."
 

            Joey turned off the TV.
 

            Lance turned it back on.
 

            Joey took the remote from him, turned off the TV, and sat on the low table before him.  "I want to talk to you."
 

            "Eat my dick," Lance said.
 

            "This isn't you," Joey said.  "I'm talking to the stranger you show the world.  I want to talk to Lance."
 

            "Try asking for Sybil," Lance said.  "Get out of my face, Joey."
 

            It was time for some direct honesty.  Joey rubbed his hands together and looked into Lance's eyes.  He opened his mouth and delivered fresh, blunt pain.  "JC is not going to leave Justin for you.  JC is not going to leave Justin for anybody.  That isn't a personal insult.  It has nothing to do with you.  JC won't leave Justin, ever, for anything.  JC won't touch another man.  Not you, not anybody.  He's not rejecting you.  It's not personal.  He has no sense of perspective.  You latched onto the impossible ideal and then forgot that it was impossible.  It is impossible.  You're only hurting yourself, for nothing."
 

            "Fuck you."
 

            Joey didn't let that hurt.  "I don't know what AJ wants.  You don't know what AJ wants.  AJ doesn't know what AJ wants.  He's fucked up in the head.  He loved you, yes.  You loved him, yes.  Maybe you'll get back together, and maybe you won't, I don't know.  Either go try to get him back, or leave it alone.  Torturing yourself, fucking yourself up, isn't going to bring him back or get him out of your head.  You have to take action one way or the other.  Back and forth, never letting go, is just causing more damage."
 

            Lance started to uncoil, prepared for aggression.  "Fuck.  You.  Don't say his name."
 

            "You told me about internalized homophobia.  You said it's in pretty much everybody.  It's in you, Lance.  Fucking three guys a night isn't celebrating your sexuality, it's you trying to prove something.  I heard it in all of that bullshit you spat at Brian.  You were living like you were straight, and then you made the move to AJ, and that was okay, because it was love and monogamy.  Then AJ left, and suddenly you were out fucking like me on a hot streak.  That's not experimenting, and it's not you.  It's you doing more damage to yourself, to your self-image, to the way the world sees you.  You need to stop it."
 

            "Who do you think got all of those guys for me?"  There was something dark in Lance's eyes, bitter and dangerous.
 

            "I did," Joey said.  "I won't do it again."
 

            "What do you want from me, Joey?  You want me to be a good boy again?"
 

            "I want you to be Lance again.  I want you to stop stalking JC.  I want you to go to AJ or give up on him, one way or the other.  I want my best friend back, the one I'm always so proud of."
 

            "Aren't you proud of me anymore?" Lance asked.  Sarcastic, bitter, expecting pain.
 

            "You're not the same anymore."
 

            Lance's eyes hated him.  "Suck it."
 

            Joey scooted closer until his ass was about to slip off the coffee table and hit the floor.  "I want to spend time with you, Lance.  I want it to be like it was.  Hanging out, eating, watching movies, talking about the last ten girls I nailed, wondering how long it'll be before Chris literally does start a Howie fan club.  You'll tell me I'm a pig and I'll charge porn flicks to your room.  You're my best friend, and every day I see less and less of you.  At least when you were with AJ I didn't see you because you were with someone else, but now I'm not seeing you because you are someone else.  When we go home I don't know what's going to happen, but I don't think it's going to be good.  I'm almost out of time.  Give me tonight.  And tomorrow night.  Two nights of my best friend."
 

            Lance raised one leg, resting his heel on the coffee table, beside Joey's hip.  He tilted his head to one side and considered Joey.  "You are my best friend," he said, thinking about it.
 

            "Two nights," Joey said.  "Tonight and tomorrow."
 

            Lance almost smiled.  "Can we prank call Kevin and leave rude messages on his answering machine?"
 

            Joey grinned.  "We have to.  It's tradition."

            "Right!" Justin said, laughing.
 

            "Oh my god," Nick said.  "We had to sing that song, what was it-"
 

            "Something about holly rocks," Justin said.  "How did that go?"
 

            "All I remember is Drew spending three weeks mad at the world because Bobby Cornover had volunteered him to be an elf," Nick said.
 

            "That was not funny," Drew said.
 

            "Holly rocks, holly rocks, snowflakes and snowmen and, wait, how did it go?" Nick asked, trying to recall the lyrics.
 

            "If I hear one more story about the good old days of The School for Creative and Performing Arts, I will stab myself through the chest," Nick said.  "Is anyone else tired of hearing the same five stories every other day?"
 

            Jeff raised his hand without hesitation.
 

            "How do you stand it?" Nick asked Jeff.  "How do you live like this?"
 

            "It's very, very difficult," Jeff said.
 

            "Oh, you're just jealous," Nick said from the sofa with Drew and Justin.
 

            "Jealous?" Jeff asked.  "Jealous?!  Okay, I'll admit, I'll say, you have a shared history, and for about five minutes on day three I felt a little left out.  But I think I'm over that.  Can I tell you that yes, you probably did have a great experience back in the day, going to school, but we're a little past that now?  We've moved on to bigger and better things, I think."
 

            "It did give us a little training and experience," Nick said.
 

            "Training, my ass," Nick said.  "You went to a special school.  So do people who ride the short bus."
 

            "An intense musical education beats being plucked out of a church choir," Drew said, and checked his nails.
 

            "Oh, now, you need to shut up," Nick said.  "Brian can sing circles around you."
 

            "Drew does have a highly trained sense of rhythm," Justin said.
 

            "Let me get up and kick your butt really quick," Jeff said, starting to get up off of the floor.
 

            "Drew has a better sense of rhythm than most professional drummers," Nick said.  "I think that's more innate than taught.  And don't think I won't tell Brian you're talking about him like that."
 

            "I didn't mention him by name," Drew said.  "I could have meant anybody.  I'm just saying.  Having a solid music education and background gave us a lot of the skills we need for this industry.  It honed our talents."
 

            "And you won't shut up about it."
 

            "And we won't shut up about it," Drew agreed with a smile.
 

            "I think you keep it as a point of pride because you have too much shit to prove," Nick said.  "I think number one, you're trying to say you're better than the rest of us."
 

            "98 Degrees is better than the rest of you," Justin said.  "Aren't we?"
 

            "I think so, yeah," Nick agreed.
 

            "Number two," Nick continued, "I think you keep harping on your little special school because you think it'll make people think you know how to sing.  It's like your cover."
 

            "Is he saying we don't know how to sing?" Nick asked Drew.
 

            "That's what he's saying," Drew said.
 

            "Do we need to rumble?" Justin asked.
 

            "We may need to," Nick said.  "Don't worry.  I can take him."
 

            "No, no, don't bother," Drew said.  "He's trying to pick a fight on purpose.  Don't let him."
 

            "He was picking a fight on purpose?" Justin asked.  "Funny, I hadn't noticed."
 

            "But he's always this antagonistic," Nick said to Drew.  "How can you tell?"
 

            "He's been trying all day to get in touch with Brian, and it's not working," Drew said.
 

            "Hey!" Nick said.  "Don't lay all of my personal business out for them."
 

            "What?" Nick asked.  "What are you - - you're the one who always tells everyone everything!  You've told Justin more about my sex life than I ever have in all the years I've known him."
 

            "Now, that is true," Justin said.
 

            "Is something wrong?" Jeff asked.  "With Brian?"
 

            "No," Nick said.  "I'm being paranoid."
 

            "Something is wrong," Drew said.  "We know it's not serious, because it if were, someone would have told us about it.  But something's going on, and Nick can't get through to anyone."
 

            "I'm sure by tomorrow, you'll know something," Jeff said.
 

            "I'm not worried," Nick lied.  "He's fine."
 

            "I'm sure he is," Jeff said.
 

            Nick gave Jeff a sideways glance.  "I am feeling a little...concerned about it."
 

            "Are you?" Jeff asked with a small smile.
 

            "I might benefit from a little...comforting."
 

            "Oh god," Nick said, and rubbed his forehead.
 

            "One minute," Jeff said, and pulled Nick in for a hug.
 

            "Time them," Nick told Justin firmly.
 

            "Oh, leave them be," Drew said to Nick.  "They're bonding."
 

            "He's feeling Jeff up."
 

            "He's being affectionate."
 

            "With my husband's body!"
 

            "It's a hug."
 

            "He's nuzzling."
 

            "That is not nuzzling."
 

            "That's nuzzling!"
 

            "Could you be a little quieter?" Nick asked.  "I'm trying to be comforted, and you're ruining the vibe."
 

            "Stop having a vibe with Jeff!"
 

            "He's trying to pick a fight, and you're letting him," Drew said.  "All right, that's nuzzling.  Nick, come sit up here with me."  He pushed at his brother.
 

            "What?" Nick demanded, trying not to fall off of the sofa.
 

            "Nick's going to need some room," Drew said, pushing harder.
 

            "So I have to move?!" Nick demanded.
 

            "Yes," Drew said, and shoved.  Nick fell.  Nick gave Jeff a final squeeze and got up, stepping over Nick, to sit beside Drew.  He sprawled over three-fourths of the couch, pulling Drew into his lap.
 

            "This is much more comfortable than that floor," Nick said.
 

            "Suddenly," Nick said, gazing up at the ceiling from where he'd fallen, "I think I'm looking forward to you leaving."

            "Hey," Chris said.  "How's it going?"
 

            "Good.  You want to watch Rush Hour?"
 

            "No, I can't stand fast-talking people who think they're funny," Chris said.  "Have you...talked?"
 

            "Yeah, we talked," Joey said.
 

            Lance smirked and flipped Chris off behind Joey's back.
 

            "I see," Chris said.
 

            Joey turned, wondering what Chris was looking at.  Lance was busy at the DVD player.  Joey shrugged and turned back to Chris.  "Have you checked on JC and Justin?"
 

            "I was just on my way," Chris said.  "Can I see you in the hallway?"
 

            "Why, what?" Joey asked, not moving.
 

            "I think Lance is a sociopath, and I think you're too close to him to be effective."
 

            "A sociopath?" Joey asked.  "He's upset."
 

            "Upset?" Chris asked.  "When I'm upset, I yell.  When he's upset, he tears apart his best friends' marriage."
 

            "JC and Justin are fine."
 

            "Now there's a word I'd consider inadequate to describe them."
 

            "You know what I mean."
 

            "You're too close to Lance."
 

            "You're not?"
 

            "Of course I am.  That's why neither one of us has done a blessed thing to stop him.  We're going to have to get our balls in gear and do something."
 

            "Can't we wait?"
 

            "For what?"
 

            "Something?"
 

            Chris laughed.
 

            Lance came up behind Joey, draping one arm loosely around Joey's neck.  "I'm not a sociopath.  I'm a destructive force."
 

            "And manipulative," Chris said.
 

            "Maybe."  Lance smiled.
 

            "When did you get evil eyes?" Chris asked.
 

            "They come and go," Joey told Chris.
 

            "What are we going to do with you?" Chris asked Lance.
 

            "Obviously, not stop me," Lance said.
 

            "We do love you," Chris said.  "In a brotherly, very heterosexual way."
 

            "I love you, too," Lance said.  "I love you, and I love Joey, and I love JC."
 

            "And you love Justin," Joey prompted.
 

            "I'd like to fuck him," Lance said.  "Make him scream like the bitch he is.  Would you call that love?"
 

            "I'm afraid of you," Chris decided.
 

            "None of this is real," Joey said to Chris.  "Lance spouts complete crap he doesn't mean to drive us away."
 

            "Oh, I'm reassured," Chris said.
 

            "Just don't listen to him," Joey said.
 

            "I'll make it a point," Chris said.  "See you later.  Much, much later, if my luck holds."
 

            "Good night," Lance said, and wiggled his fingers over Joey's shoulder.
 

            "Much, much, much, much later," Chris said to himself, going down the hallway.

            Nick and mini-Nick were playing some fast-action, cutthroat game that involved two decks of cards, hand-smacking, and sudden beeping noises.

            “Do you know how to play?” Nick asked Jeff, watching them.

            “I don’t think even they know how to play,” Jeff said.  “Yeah, I do.  It’s a cross between hearts and Uno, only violent.  Wait until they get to the jack of hearts showdown.”

            “The what?” Nick asked.

            “Don’t ask me to explain.”

            Nick watched.

            Nick flicked Drew in the forehead.  Drew called Nick names.  Nick threw cards at Drew.  Drew snatched cards from Nick.  Nick beeped Drew.  Drew smacked Nick’s hand.

            “Does he ever talk about it?”

            Jeff shook his head.  “No.  Not unless he absolutely has to.  I don’t push.”

            “When do you think it started?”

            “When Drew hit puberty.  I think that’s why he never fully developed his sexual identity until you came along and coaxed it out of him.  He probably would have had regular coming-of-age feelings, curiosity, fantasy, experimentation, like anybody else.  Except he was gay, which causes enough problems in and of itself.  But on top of that, he was feeling something else, something that he knew was absolutely wrong.  So he shut it all down, to keep from feeling it.”

            “Until I came along.”

            “Luckily for him.”  Jeff smiled.

            “And Nick…?”

            “Nick’s older, so he was already coming into his sexual identity.  Nick was nineteen when Drew was sixteen.  Drew at sixteen was old enough to be noticed, and Nick at nineteen was more than old enough to know he shouldn’t be noticing.  Nick’s bi, but he never touched anyone male until he jumped me.”

            “To keep anything close to Drew off-limits.”

            “Right.”

            Across the room: “You little-!” Nick said to Drew.

            Drew grinned and threw cards at him.  “Eat my spades.”

            “How does it happen?” Nick asked Jeff.  “Why did it happen?  I would never…  The thought of…  I can’t imagine thinking about trying to consider starting to think about wanting Aaron.  I don’t even understand it.  But with them, it makes sense.”

            “I don’t know,” Jeff said.  “Sexuality is a very unique quality in every person.  So is love.  I’m gay, and Justin’s straight.  I only understand in theory why Justin likes women, and Justin doesn’t really get why I want men.  Nick’s bi.  Everybody’s a little different.  Maybe it’s something genetic, or something in their upbringing, or something in the water.  It’s hard to say.  I don’t think they know, themselves.”

            “We did the right thing, didn’t we?” Nick asked, and there was true concern in his eyes.

            “We did,” Jeff said.  “I’ve made mistakes with Nick, but that I don’t regret.  They both needed to get it out.  If they’d kept it inside, unexpressed, wearing away at them, it would have started to interfere with other relationships.  Drew never would have come this far with you and Brian if he’d had to keep that protected and shielded.”

            “Do you think so?” Nick asked.

            “Yes,” Jeff said.  “Drew worked hard, for years, to hide and deny what he was feeling.  Expressing himself with you and Brian would have brought it too close to the surface.  If he’d wanted to keep it hidden any longer, he would have had to pull away from you, which would have frustrated all three of you and started to destroy any trust you’d built.  He would’ve broken up with you.  He would’ve had to.”

            “Leave us?” Nick asked.  No Drew.  One less angel.  No Carter Littrell Lacheys.  Just him and Brian and a hole where Drew should have been, a wound that couldn’t heal.

            “The closer he got to you and Brian, the more Drew would have had to start consciously hiding his feelings for Nick, instead of unconsciously shying away from them, and that would have affected 98 Degrees.  Nick would have sensed that and pulled back in reaction, which would put 98 Degrees on shaky ground and also affect our marriage.”

            “Damn.  The three of us, the two of you, all of 98 Degrees, everything would have been fucked up.”

            “Very fucked up,” Jeff said.  “You were the catalyst for a lot of change in Drew’s life, more than you’ve realized.”

            “Damn.”  Nick rubbed his forehead.  “Back up a little.  You’re saying if we hadn’t done what we did, setting it up for them to have a chance…  Brian and I were getting into Drew’s sexuality, and that was okay, but if we’d kept working at his layers like we were, we would’ve come too close to something dangerous, and he would’ve pulled away from us, and if we’d tried to get too close, he would’ve driven us away and run away from us.”

            “Yes.”

            “He also would’ve been nervous around Nick, because he’d realize what he was hiding from us, and he’d be afraid of people finding out.  And Nick would respond to him being nervous, because Nick always responds to whatever Drew’s feeling, and they’d have been scared and weird around each other.”

            “Yes.”

            “And Nick would pull away from you, like Drew would have pulled away from us, and your marriage would start to suffer.”

            “Yes.”

            “And the tension between Drew and Nick, and the tension between Nick and you, would have been a lot to handle.”

            “Yes.”

            “So Drew would break up with us, Nick would probably end up trying to get a divorce, and 98 Degrees would be over.”

            “Yes.”

            “So maybe we did do the right thing.”

            “For Drew to have any chance at a full life, yes.  He deserved this chance with you and Brian, but he had to get past Nick to do it.”

            “I had no idea all of this was going to happen.  All I knew was, my heart was so fucking broken the pain was so fucking intense I couldn’t breathe, but the way Drew smiled at me made me want him.  I knew, I knew, I knew I’d never love anyone ever again, not after what I had with Brian, because how could there ever be another love like that?  But when I looked in Drew’s eyes I saw my second chance.  And when I kissed him in that hotel room, he was so responsive, he was so hungry, he wanted it so much…  God, he was easy.”

            “Good memories?” Jeff asked, smiling.

            “I guess the only alternative to all of this is if I’d never gone near him, if I’d never seduced him.  But he needed it so badly.  He needed that release, he needed someone to let him out and open him up.  He’d been trapped inside himself for years, all his life.  He couldn’t stay like that.  With those choices, I guess we did do the right thing.”

            “We did it the right way, too,” Jeff said.  “They had safety nets.  They had our reassurance.  They could fall apart and let us pick up the pieces.”

            “Drew gets so scared and so hurt.  Shaking and crying and throwing up.”

            “I know,” Jeff said.

            “And so guilty,” Nick said.  “God, I hate guilt.  It’s so fucking destructive.  They let it tear them apart.”

            “Nick still thinks of Drew as his little brother, someone he should be looking out for.  He wants to protect Drew, but he sees himself hurting Drew, and I know in the back of his mind he’s afraid it’s his fault, that he’s molesting Drew, that Drew’s a victim.”

            “Drew’s a grown man,” Nick said.  “He doesn’t need to be protected like a little boy.  And Nick’s not molesting anybody, that’s bullshit!”

            “You know as well as anyone that the voices in the back of your head don’t have to be right for you to believe them,” Jeff said.

            “I know, but…  I’m allowed to have voices.  You all should stop it.”

            “We’ll stop it if you stop it.”

            “I’m working on it,” Nick muttered.

            Jeff patted his knee.  “Then we’ll work on ours, too.”

            Nick took Jeff’s hand, lacing their fingers.  “You can stop feeling guilty now, too.”

            Jeff looked at him.  “I don’t think I can.”

            “I’m okay,” Nick said.  “You know I am.  It wasn’t about me.  You were trapped.  I was in the wrong place at the wrong time.  You shouldn’t have hit me, I shouldn’t have been mouthing off, Nick shouldn’t have brought me there.  You were wrong, and you’re sorry, and I know you’re sorry, and I’m okay.  I forgive you, Jeff.  What Brian or anybody else says doesn’t make a difference, because I’m the one you hit, and I’m the one who forgives you.”

            Jeff closed his eyes, squeezing Nick’s hand.  “You’re more than I deserve.”

            Nick leaned in and planted a soft kiss on Jeff’s cheek.  “We’re okay now.  No more guilt.  It’s been a very weird time for all of us.  There’s a lot going on.  But I think we’re all figuring out who we are and how we want to be with each other.”

            Jeff opened his eyes.  “I’m still worried about Brian.”

            “You’ve always been weird about him.”

            “He’s the only person who’s this close to me, who I know can pull rank on me.  And he’s definitely pulled rank on me this time.”

            “I don’t know what to say.  When I’m away from Brian, I’m the one in charge of me, and I’m the one responsible for me.  When I first hooked up with Drew, and here on this tour, I’m confident, I know exactly what I’m doing.  But when Brian’s around, I’m…  It’s not his fault, it’s mine.  I can’t…  I don’t even get it.”

            “You’re younger than Brian is.  You were a child when you first joined the Backstreet Boys.  As best friends you were equals, but he is older.  He was a grown-up when you were still a boy.  I’m sure that when it came to making group decisions, when it came to business, you weren’t the first one people turned to.  We’ve found out ourselves that sometimes it comes down to a moral point, whether you expect it to or not.  Brian was older than you, and I’m sure he had a strong moral stance.”

            “Yeah.  He and Kevin were our moral authority.  Brian would be playing with me one minute, and then it’d be time for business and all of a sudden he’d turn into Kevin or somebody.”

            “Kevin.”

            “You know, old and important and authoritative.  This command presence thing.”

            “I’ve gotten the impression that Kevin’s your father figure.”

            “Kind of.  He’s my big brother, but there are like nine years between us, so you know how siblings that many years apart turn into like a second parent?”

            “And when Brian wasn’t playing with you, having fun and being silly, sometimes he turned into another authority figure.”

            “I guess, yeah.”

            “So sometimes you feel like you’re back in that situation.  Where a minute ago you were on the same level, but suddenly he’s the commanding decision-maker.”

            “I guess.”

            “Brian had two roles, one as your best friend and partner in crime, and other as your big brother and role model.”

            “Yeah.”

            “And you’re still seeing him in both of those roles.”

            “I guess I am.”

            “Brian’s always going to be older.  You can’t do anything about that.  But you’re not a teenager anymore.  You’re a grown man now.  And you can turn to your older brothers for guidance, there’s nothing wrong with that, but you’re also fully capable of independence.  You’re your own man now.  You’re not trapped as that boy forever.  You and Brian have taken on very new roles in each other’s life.  You’re still best friends, but you’re also partners and lovers.”

            “Yeah…  I know what you’re saying.”

            “I think the problem is that you and Brian changed your relationship at an important time in your life, when you were young and evolving.  That created some conflict as to what your role in the relationship really was, whether you were equals or not, because you were still young and he was still held up as a role model, but you were in the process of coming into your own and becoming a fully recognized equal in the group.”

            The light bulb came on.  “Right!  God, that’s it.  It was weird, really weird, because I was Brian’s best friend and Brian’s boyfriend, but I was younger than he was, and some people thought all five of us should have an equal say but some people were trying to leave me out of it like the brainless little blond boy was just there to attract girls or something.  I was getting older and I was trying to have more of a voice in stuff, but it’s hard to change the way people see you.  It’s hard to get them to recognize you’re not twelve anymore.  But some days I still acted like I was twelve, because I just felt like being an idiot kid sometimes.”

            “Everyone goes through that phase,” Jeff said.  “The difference is, the rest of us go through it in anonymity, living a normal life, not world-famous and in a complicated sexual relationship.”

            “Brian was always cool.  He always knew what level I was on.  Kevin was always like, god, Nick just grow up already, except sometimes I was like, damn it, I am grown up, you just haven’t figured it out yet.  And who wants to act grown up all of the freaking time?”

            “It does get tiring.  And boring,” Jeff admitted.

            “Kevin does love me, you know.”

            “I know.”

            “He really, really loves me.  I think that’s why I’m so frustrating to him, because he loves me and he has to keep dealing with me.  When I get on his nerves he can’t turn his back and write me off, because you can’t walk away from someone you love.”

            “You talk about him more than you talk about AJ or Howie.”

            “That’s because Howie, god, who’s going to bitch about Howie?  He’s always there for you and he’s always nice to you and he never gets in your face.  AJ, AJ’s my brother, man.  I know he comes across as like ten years older, but really we’re only two years apart, so we were totally there for each other.  AJ and I understand each other.  He knows what it’s like to have Kevin tell him what to do all of the time, and he knows what it’s like to be young and wild growing up Backstreet.  I don’t know, I guess Kevin…  Kevin and I are more complicated.  Kevin’s my brother and my wannabe father figure, and he’ll totally bitch me out but he’ll kick ass to protect me from anybody else.  He wants me to take care of myself and he wants me to be all right and do okay, and I think mostly he gets mad when he doesn’t think I’m doing that.”

            Jeff smiled.  “I’d like to visit your tour sometime.”

            “No, you wouldn’t.  When Kevin gets stressed out he’s a bitch, and I’m always in the way goofing up clowning around, and if you catch AJ on a bad day - - see, the Sync guys have this weird thing where their personalities blend together so perfectly, they always balance each other out.  Howie doesn’t have enough sweetness to balance out the rest of us.  The Sync guys are best friends.  We’re brothers.  It’s a totally, completely different thing.  That’s why Brian being on tour with them is getting along a lot better than one of them would on tour with us.”

            “They’re best friends, and you’re brothers,” Jeff said.  “I’ve never put my finger on the difference before.”

            “You guys, you blend some of each,” Nick said.  “Well, literally.  I don’t know, I guess, if you’re best friends, you try harder to keep each other happy and you try harder to make each other look good.  If you’re brothers, you’re tied to each other no matter what, and once in a while you say, look, screw you.  But don’t get me wrong.  We love each other like a motherfucker, and we make each other happy.  We make each other laugh.  I make Kevin smile a lot more than I make him bitch.  I wouldn’t rather be anywhere else than with the fellas.  Except maybe with Drew, which is why I keep trying to get him to come on tour with me.”

            “You knew he’d love to.”

            “We should tour together.  You guys and us.  We could headline together.”

            “That’s a great idea.  In theory.”

            “You don’t think it would work?”

            “I think it would be a lot of egos in a small space.”

            “But Drew would be so happy…”

            “He’d be less happy after having to try to keep the peace.  Rumor has it that you have a better touring situation than we do, and we wouldn’t take kindly to having that shoved in our faces.”

            “I’m still going to suggest it.”

            “Are you serious?” Jeff asked.

            “Yes, I’m serious,” Nick said.  “I want Drew to hang out with me on tour, and since he’s always on tour, this is the only way to make that happen.”

            “They’re not going to do it.  They won’t make as much money.”

            “If I get the fellas agree to help me ask for it, will you help us out?”

            Jeff thought about it.  “There’s always the chance that it’ll be a huge disaster and we’ll drive Drew to drugs.  Then again, it could be fun.  I’m willing to try it.  I know you could talk Drew into it.  Justin is willing to put himself through anything for us, so we can take advantage of that one more time.”

            “That leaves Nick.”

            Jeff smiled.  “You leave Nick to me.”

           Joey undressed him, tucked him in, and watched him sleep.

            AJ was out there somewhere.  Rested.  Waiting.  About to strike.
 

            Lance was out there somewhere.  Vicious, bitter.
 

            They were both about to descend upon this quiet plot of earth.
 

            What would they unleash?
 

            He couldn't stop Lance.  He couldn't protect AJ.  He had to, he was physically straining for it, but he couldn't.  That wasn't his place.  That wasn't his right.  If he did, it would only cause more damage.
 

            But how was he going to hold himself back?
 

            By sheer will.  That was how he'd done it this long.
 

            Only, this time, he wasn't sure it would work.

            Five minutes later, Jeff was helping Nick shake Fritos out of his clothes, and Nick was wiping toothpaste off Drew’s neck and back.

            “The game is over,” Jeff said, munching on Fritos as he patted down Nick.

            “No, it’s not!” Nick said.  “I was winning!”

            “I’m winning,” Drew said.  “Twenty to eighteen.”

            “Twenty-one to twenty,” Nick argued.

            “When did you get to twenty-one?” Drew asked.  “You didn’t get to twenty-one.”

            “I beeped on the double five of spades,” Nick said.

            “I hit you before you beeped,” Drew said.

            “No, you hit me for the triple six,” Nick said.

            Nick rolled his eyes as he scrubbed Colgate off Drew’s nape.

            “You beeped for the triple six,” Drew said.

            “Then I am at twenty-one,” Nick said.

            “That only makes twenty,” Drew said.  “Triple six is worth two.”

            “No, the-“

            “God, you sound like AJ and Howie arguing over diceables,” Nick said.

            “Diceables?” Drew asked.  “What are diceables?”

            “Marbles and dice,” Nick said.  “AJ had some way far back in the day, and he and Howie made up this game.  Kevin made them write up a rulebook so they’d stop fighting over it, but it caught on fire, and when they tried to write a replacement rulebook, they couldn’t agree on what the rules were, and-“

            “The rulebook caught fire?” Nick asked.

            “Yeah, that was my fault,” Nick said.  “I was playing with AJ’s lighter, and Brian was trying to get me to stop it, and I was about to give in and stop when Kevin told me to knock it off, so I accidentally on purpose started lighting shit up.”

            “Started lighting what up?” Drew asked, turning to face him, wary around the eyes.

            “Nothing important,” Nick said.  “Just everything in Kevin’s suitcase.”

            “Kevin’s suitcase?” Nick demanded.

            “This is back when we were sharing hotel rooms, and I was in his and Brian’s room, sitting on the floor beside his open suitcase.  The rulebook was in there for safekeeping.  When he told me to knock it off, I flicked the lighter and pretended like I was running the flame over his clothes, just to piss him off, but I had the lighter up high enough it wouldn’t touch anything.  Except I sort of accidentally misjudged, or whatever, because all of a sudden everything in his suitcase was on fire.  He was really pissed.”

            “How old were you?” Drew asked.

            “Thirteen?” Nick guessed.  “Fourteen?”

            “Old enough to know better than to play with fire,” Nick said.

            “What’s wrong with playing with fire?” Nick asked.

            There was a brief silence.

            Drew smiled.  “I love you.”

            “You - - how is that an appropriate response?” Nick demanded.  “He set Kevin’s suitcase on fire!”

            “It was an accident,” Nick said.

            “No, it wasn’t,” Nick said.

            “It was half accidental,” Nick said.

            “And half on purpose!”

            “It was years ago!  It wasn’t your suitcase!”

            “You don’t have any respect for consequences!  You’ve never cared about what everyone else has to go through after you’ve had your fun!”

            “That is not true,” Drew said.  “Nick lives in the moment because he thinks the moment is all he has.  He has to enjoy himself and get what he can out of right now, because he thinks that next week or tomorrow or in ten minutes, it’ll all be taken away from him.  But he does care about consequences.  He’ll put himself through hell, he’ll make himself suffer, rather than put anyone else through pain.”

            Nick pretended to be very absorbed in looking at the washcloth in his hands.

            Nick sighed.  “I’m sorry.  I’m…”

            “Stupid?” Drew suggested.

            “I was going to say ‘sorry’ again,” Nick said.

            “No, I like ‘stupid’ better,” Drew said.  “Why are you acting stupid?”

            “I’m not acting stupid!” Nick said.

            “Separation anxiety,” Jeff said.

            “Separation from what?” Nick asked, looking up from the washcloth now that the conversation was off of him.

            Jeff grinned.  Drew patted Nick’s shoulder.  “Separation from you.”

            “Oh.”  Nick turned the washcloth in his hands.  Back on him again.

            “I’m not having separation anxiety,” Nick said.  He hesitated.  “I’m just acting like a jackass because I don’t want to admit I don’t want you to go.”

            “You don’t want me to go?” Nick asked, looking up.  “I don’t have to go.”

            “Yes, you do,” Drew said.

            “I could stay,” Nick said.

            “No, you couldn’t,” Drew said.

            “I should stay,” Nick said.  “To hang out with Nick.  It’s a Nick thing.  You wouldn’t understand.”

            “I don’t like this little bond you’re developing,” Drew said.  “Any day now you’re going to start ganging up on the innocent.”

            “Innocent?” 98 Nick asked.

            “Yeah, innocent?” Nick repeated.  “Who’s innocent?  Jeff’s not innocent.  One look at that smirk and you know he’s not innocent of jack shit.”

            Jeff laughed.

            “See?” Nick asked.  “And you, you’re not innocent.  You play innocent, you pretend, you with your pretty eyes, but we know better.”

            Drew gave Nick his nicest smile.  “I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

            “Brian’s not innocent, either.  He’s a mastermind.”

            “I suppose this is all leading up to you declaring yourself to be the last innocent?” Nick asked.

            “Hey, that’s not a bad idea,” Nick said.  “I could pull that off.”

            “Keeping my mouth shut,” Nick said.

            “Good,” Nick said.  “You do that.”  He grinned.  “Since I’ll be leaving soon, and all, how about one last fling for the road?”

            “That depends on how you’re defining ‘fling,’” Nick said.

            “You know.”  Nick strolled across the room to run his fingers over Nick’s collarbone.  “Me, you, a little wine, a little lube…”

            “A little-”

            Without taking his gaze from Nick’s, Nick put his hand over Drew’s mouth.  His touch lingered on Nick’s chest.  “What do you say?”

            Nick formed his answer carefully.  “I would love to.”  His mind shuddered over the memory of Nick’s gorgeous body naked under his.  “But I think Jeff might object.”

            “Jeff, you wouldn’t mind, would you?” Nick asked, his hand dropping to Nick’s hip.

            “I would,” Jeff said.  “Drew and Brian would, too.”

            “Drew doesn’t care,” Nick said.  “Do you, Drew?”

            “Let go of me!” Drew insisted, finally freeing himself.  “Yes, I’d mind.  You and I only have two nights left together, tonight and tomorrow, and I’m not letting him take up your time.”

            “You’re not very good at sharing with your brother,” Nick said.  He draped his other arm around Nick’s shoulders, pressing himself to Nick’s side.  “On behalf of the Nick Lachey Society, I’m going to have to ask you to lighten up.”

            Nick wrapped his arm around Nick’s waist.  “That’s right,” he said to Drew.  “Lighten up.”

            “Light this,” Drew said.  “What’s the Nick Lachey Society?”

            “A brotherhood of Nick Lacheys,” Nick said.  “He’s Nick Lachey number one, and I’m Nick Lachey number two.  He gets to be number one because he’s a Nick Lachey by birth, and I’m only one through marriage.”

            “That’s just great,” Drew said.

            “You’re right,” Jeff said, “this could be dangerous.”

            “Maybe I should be number one,” Nick said.

            “How do you figure?” Nick asked.

            “I am sexier, more talented, more famous, richer, taller, better in bed-“

            “That’s bullshit,” Nick said.

            “Which part?” Nick asked.  “You think you’re taller?”

            “I’m sexier,” Nick said.  He nudged Jeff.  “Right?”

            “Oh, uh, right, yeah, absolutely,” Jeff said.  “Totally.”

            “Sexier, more talented, more famous, and better in bed aren’t quantifiable,” Drew said.

            “Yes, they are,” Nick said.

            “No, they’re not,” Drew said.  “Stick to richer and taller.”

            “How do we know he’s richer?” Nick asked.

            “Why do you have to fight about everything?” Drew asked.  “It doesn’t matter which one of you is richer or taller or has better hair.”

            “I do,” Nick said, at the same time that Nick said, “I do.”  They grinned at each other.

            “I know how much money we make, and I know how much money they make, and they do make more,” Drew said.  “Can you at least be big enough to admit that and let it go?”

            “I’ll admit that you’re taller,” Nick said to Nick.

            “I’ll admit that you give better head,” Nick said.

            Nick started turning red.  “Well, great, thanks.”

            “You’re welcome.”

            “Try again, without bringing sex into it,” Drew said.

            “I’ll admit that you make more money than I do,” Nick said.

            “I’ll admit that you’re better hung than I am,” Nick said.

            “Not about sex!” Drew said.

            “That wasn’t about sex,” Nick said.  “That was about physical proportions.  He just said I’m taller.  It’s the same thing.”

            “I give up,” Drew said.  “I give up.  I’m going to my room.”  He started for the door.

            “God, you have a great ass,” Nick said.

            Drew closed his eyes and leaned his forehead against the door.  “I don’t know what I’m going to do with you.”

            “Screw me twice in the next hour, if I’m lucky.”  Nick gave Nick a one-armed squeeze, then let go to shake Jeff’s hand.  “I’ll see you later.  Try to have good sex without me.”  He went to the door and smacked Drew’s ass.  “Let’s go.  If you weren’t wasting time standing here, we’d be naked already.”

            “Ah, romance,” Jeff said.

            “Romance?” Nick asked.  “That’s Brian’s department.  Brian does romantic and passionate.  Drew likes it to last forever.  Me, I like it whenever, wherever.  That’s why I dress for convenience.  That’s why I’m not wearing any underwear.”

            Drew turned to him, startled. “What?”

            “I’m ass naked under these pants,” Nick said.

            “Really?” Jeff asked with a slow smile.

            “Really,” Nick said.  “If you want to see my naked ass or my blond bush, all you have to do is grab some fabric and pull.”

            “God, Carter,” Nick said.

            “You’ve been walking around like that all day?” Jeff asked.

            “All day?” Drew repeated.

            “Yeah,” Nick said.  “What?  It just gives my balls some breathing room, that’s all.  I’m not naked, naked.  If you’d done your job like a good boyfriend and felt me up more often, you’d have known already.”

            “He has a point,” Jeff said.

            “How soon until you guys have to get up?” Nick asked.

            “Five hours?” Nick guessed.

            Jeff checked.  “Three.”

            “Damn,” Nick said.  “Drew, stop looking at me like that.  You have to go to bed.”

            Drew reached forward and slid his hand down Nick’s hip, then up Nick’s ass.

            Jeff smiled and averted his gaze.

            “You’re really naked,” Drew murmured, running his hand over Nick’s hip again.

            “Stop getting turned on,” Nick said.  “You have to go to sleep.  You have to be up in three hours.”

             Drew squeezed Nick’s ass.

            “I’ll give you a blowjob, okay?  That’ll feel good.  Then you can go right to sleep.”

            Drew’s fingers slid up and down the divide.

            Jeff elbowed Nick to make him stop staring.

            “Drew, come on, you’re - - whoa!”  Drew’s hand was venturing around in front, and Nick caught it before Drew could grab for anything important.  “Time to get you back to your room.  Let’s go.”  Nick herded Drew out the door.  “Horny little - - hey!  Hey!  Not in the hallway!”  The door closed.

            “Classic,” Jeff said.

            Nick agreed.

            Jeff yawned.  “Three hours.  Why do we to this to ourselves?”

            “Drew and I wanted to give you and Nick time to talk.”

            Jeff smiled.  “Nick and I wanted to give you and Drew time to hang out.”

            “We’re going to be a wreck tomorrow,” Nick said.

            “We’ve functioned on less sleep,” Jeff said.

            “True.”

            Jeff looked at Nick.

            Nick looked at Jeff.

            “I think we could get by on two hours of sleep, don’t you?” Jeff asked.

            Nick grinned.  “I’d say that’s plenty.”

            Jeff pulled off his shirt.  “I’ll lock the door, you find the lube.”