Copyright April 2, 2002-March 3, 2003 by Matthew Haldeman-Time

Rating: NC-17 for graphic male-male sex

Pairings: Thus far we've had JC/Justin, Nick/Drew/Brian, Nick/Jeff, Nick/Drew/Brian/Nick/Jeff, AJ/Lance, AJ/Howie, AJ/Kevin, Chris/Howie, and partridge/pear tree.

Disclaimer: The young men who comprise the Backstreet Boys, *NSYNC, and 98 Degrees are their own people. The author has not met anyone here described, nor does the author mean to suggest that these people act this way in real life. This writing is a work of fiction. I make no money from this venture.

Dedication: This slashfic is for Ewan McGregor and the Savage Garden slashwriters.

Wherein Drew won't go behind Brian's back, AJ can screw anybody he wants, and could JC be mellowing?

Notice: First, read "I Need You Tonight," "Boy Lead the Way to Ecstasy," "Not Easy," "No One," "Rest in Peace," "Destiny," and "Together." I know it sounds like a lot, but it'll only take you an hour or two.

        Something was weird.  Off.  Wrong.  Drew’s mouth was hot, Drew’s body was ready, Drew was under him, clinging to him, kissing him, squeezing his ass and-

        That was it.  Usually when Drew grabbed his ass, he heard a soft little satisfied moan, like Drew had been wanting it all day.  Tonight, no satisfied moan.  No horny groans.  Not even those hot gasps.  Drew was almost silent.

        Nick gave Drew’s tongue his best lick-slide-suck combination and thrust against Drew’s hard-on with no warning.

        All he got was a muted grunt.

        Nick pulled back.  “Drew.”

        Drew reached for him, pushing, rolling them over and taking his mouth again.  Nick unzipped Drew’s pants and Drew kicked them off.  Nick snapped the waistband of Drew’s shorts and Drew got rid of them, too, leaving Nick free to rub his palm over the tight curves of Drew’s sweet ass.

        Drew didn’t talk in bed, but he always made sexy noises, and he was being far too quiet tonight.  Something was-

        Oh, shit.  That.  Now Nick remembered.  Damn it.

        Now what?

        He was going to fix Drew.  Tonight.  That was all there was to it.

        Drew was horny, too, kissing him fast and greedy, riding his thigh, wanting to get off now.  It was too bad for Drew, and a lot of fun for Nick, that Drew’s sexual desires were easily exploited.

        “Touch me,” Nick said, spreading his thighs, lifting his knee.  “Touch me, Drew.  Fuck my hot ass with your fingers.”

        Drew’s hand skittered down Nick’s body and in between Nick’s legs, fingers skimming Nick’s balls before seeking the puckered rim of his asshole.

        “Do you want to fuck me?” Nick asked.

        Drew probed with one finger, pushing in, his kiss less aggressive as his mind found a new focus.

        “Do you want me to fuck you?” Nick asked.  “Do you want me to suck your dick?  Do you want to suck mine?”  He gasped at the erotic intrusion, then again more loudly as Drew triggered a small explosion of pleasure.  Drew kissed him.  Drew’s finger worked against his prostate, and Drew’s tongue tangled and slid with his, and Nick realized that Drew was kissing him to shut him up.

        Nick turned his head to the side, breaking their kiss, and shouted, “Oh, fuck me harder, Drew, harder!”

        Drew stopped.

        Nick turned his head back to look at Drew and wait for a reaction.

        Drew pulled his finger out and smacked Nick’s thigh.

        Nick smirked.

        Drew kissed him.  “Bad Nick.”

        “Bad Drew,” Nick said, and coaxed out a few more kisses.  “Come on, let’s get loud and horny together.”

        “We can be loud when we’re at home,” Drew said.

        “The only way to keep me quiet is to gag me,” Nick said.  “You don’t have the balls to do that.”

        Drew kissed Nick’s neck, stroking his hand down Nick’s ribcage.  “I have very nice balls.”

        “Yes, you do,” Nick said.

        “So do you,” Drew murmured against Nick’s shoulder as he kissed a good spot.

        “Thanks,” Nick said.

        Drew licked Nick’s nipple, his tongue wet, his mouth hot, the air cool.  “What do you want to do?”

        “Let’s do what you want to do,” Nick said.

        “Let’s have very good, very quiet sex,” Drew said.

        Nick cocked his knee.  He knew what Drew was thinking about.

        Drew reached down.

        Nick was faster.  He beat Drew by a quick second, and covered his cock with his hand.

        Drew tried to push and pry Nick’s hand away, but Nick wasn’t budging.  Drew glared.

        Nick smiled.  “Not until you give me one good loud satisfied groan.  A good loud one.  Like you just got inside Brian and you’re just in there, waiting, and he’s so tight your dick is throbbing and you want to come.  Or like you just fucked me for so long it feels like it’s been forever and you finally just unloaded your balls in my ass.  Or like you’ve been watching me all day, wanting me, and you finally got to rub up on me and kiss me and grab my ass.  Or, I know, you could give me that shocked moan - - you know how you make that urgent breathy throaty ‘come on me come on me’ noise?  If I give in and do it, you give me that shocked moan, that ‘ooo’ sound from deep inside, like-”

        Drew reached behind Nick’s head and pulled his hair.  “Shut.  Up.”

        “No noise, no fun,” Nick said.

        “Fine,” Drew said.  “What we have is a battle of wills.  You want me to make noise; I want you to move your hand.”

        “Yes,” Nick said.

        “For the record, I do not make ‘come on me’ noises.”

        “Yes, you do,” Nick said.  “They sound needy, like ‘uh, uh, uh-’”

        “Stop it!”

        “I wish you and Brian would come on me more,” Nick said.  “JC and I were talking about it, and he said he never comes on Justin because it’s disrespectful, but I don’t think it would be.  Not with us.  Why don’t you come on me?”

        “It’s rude,” Drew said.  “You were talking to-”

        “You like it when I come on you.”

        “I do not.”

        “Liar.”

        Drew blushed and didn’t say anything.

        “After I win our battle of wills, I’ll fuck you and pull out early so I can come on you,” Nick said.  “You want jism up your chest or up your back?”

        “You’re not going to win,” Drew said.

        “Funny how that wasn’t my question,” Nick said.

        Drew licked his lips.

        “Yes?”

        Drew hesitated.

        “Tell me,” Nick said, “tell me what you want so I can give it to you.”

        “I want you to fu-”

        “Bad Drew.”

        “Screw?”

        “I’ll let it slide.”

        “I want you to screw me and come on my chest but I also want you to...  I want you to masturbate and come on me.”

        “You want me to jack myself until I come on you?”  This was unexpected but very nice.

        Drew didn’t even blush.  “Yes.”

        Oh, good Drew.  “Okay.  I will...after you’ve made some hot noises for me.  I’m not going to do it while you’re quiet, because hearing you get worked up for it is half the fun.”

        “I love you but you’re infuriating,” Drew said.

        “I told you what you have to do to get everything you want,” Nick said.  “It’s so easy, Drew.  One loud groan and I’ll make your fantasies come true.  Wait.  You can’t come on me because it’s rude, but you want me to come on you.  You like being degraded?”

        “It’s hard to explain,” Drew said.

        “No, it’s not.  It’s dirty and it’s fun, and you like dirty fun things, but you don’t want to do it to me or Brian because it could be misinterpreted.  But Drew, you know I like dirty fun things, too.”  Nick pulled him in for a kiss.  “I’ll come on you once you’re being loud again, I promise.  I’ll even lick it up, if you want.”

        Drew’s breathing quickened.  “You will?”

        Nick grinned.  “If you’re into that.”

        “Maybe,” Drew said, but there was no mistaking the way his cock pushed against Nick’s hip.  “Nick.”

        “What?”

        Drew’s voice was a need-laced whisper.  “Move your hand.”

        “Why?”

        “Please.”

        “Why?” Nick pressed gently.

        “So I can...touch...I want...in my mouth...”  Drew was panting with desire.  “I want to...  I want to touch, I want...  I want to...  My mouth, my...  Please.”

        “Do you like my dick, Drew?”

        “Yes,” Drew said, whispered but eager.

        “Why, Drew, why do you want it?”

        Drew buried his face in Nick’s neck.  A muted groan escaped.  He clenched his fist in the bedsheet.  A sound of frustration.

        Nick rubbed Drew’s well-muscled back.  “Poor baby.”

        “If you were really my friend you’d make this easier on me,” Drew muttered against his shoulder.  “You’d respect my wishes and help me fuck you quietly.”

        “Bad Drew.”

        “Bad Nick,” Drew snapped.

        “Drew’s pissy.”

        “We don’t have to be loud.  There’s no point to being loud.  It’s disrespectful to everyone around us.”

        “When you try to be quiet, you’re holding back.  And you’re putting effort into the silence.  When we make love, I don’t want you to be thinking about anything but the way it feels.  When you let go, Drew, your baser instincts take over, and I love that about you.  That’s the way it should be.  That’s what I want.”

        “Now what?” Drew asked.

        “Now, you’ll keep being stubborn and I’ll keep being stubborn, and I’ll suck you off so you’ll feel better.  Then I’m going to fuck you just enough to get myself off.”

        “You will?” Drew asked.

        “Sure.  I’m horny too, Drew.”

        “Do you want to make love to me?” Drew asked, covering Nick with his naked body.

        “Hell, yes, Drew, but it wouldn’t feel right.  You wouldn’t make those little raw demanding happy sounds for me.  And ever since I went Street on you and put you in the ultimate zone, every time my dick’s in you you do this thing where your eyes roll back in your head and your ass squeezes up and I think you’re going to come but you don’t, and you make this sound like joy so strong it hurts, like you’re sparking into a new plane of awareness.  It’s quick; if I blink twice I’ll miss the whole thing.  I don’t know why you’re still doing it.  Maybe some part of you is flashing back to that night.  Maybe when I make love to you it reminds you of what it felt like then.  But if I make love to you now, tonight, you’ll resist it and you won’t make that sound, and I’m not letting you do that to yourself.”

        Drew hugged Nick, chin propped on Nick’s shoulder, face in the pillow.  He sighed.

        “It’s very hot,” Nick said.  “When you do that.  Practically yanks the cum right out of me.”

        Drew slid down enough to rest his cheek on Nick’s chest.  “I didn’t know I did that.”

        “How much do you actually remember of what happened that night?”

        “It’s a blur of sense memory and vague impressions,” Drew said.  “I’m sorry.  You know when sex gets too important and too real, it takes a while for my brain to recover the memory of it.”

        “It’s okay.  I remember everything.”

        “Was it good?” Drew asked.

        “What?”

        “I know it was good for me.  Obviously I had a great time.  Was it good for you?  Did I make it good?”

        “Drew, you’re always good.  You’re always sexy and hot.  You were even hotter than usual.  You wanted me so fucking badly, Drew.  I mean, I’ve had people lusting after me before, but you wanted me so.  Fucking.  Badly.  And when I pulled out the trapeze-”

        “There was no trapeze,” Drew said.

        “How do you know?  You can’t remember.  Do you remember the flying squirrels?”

        “No.”

        “Do you remember the bathroom?”

        Drew frowned.  “Yes...”

        “Do you remember the whip?”

        Drew glared.  “No.”

        “Do you remember begging a lot?”

        Drew was embarrassed.  “Yes.”

        “Do you remember making a lot of promises?”

        Drew burrowed closer.  “Yes.”

        “Do you remember the trampoline?”

        Drew pinched him.  “No.”

        “Do you remember really, really, really badly wanting to lick that first drop of pre-cum off the head of my dick?”

        Flash of heat.  “Yes.”

        “How badly did you want it?”

        Tugs of anticipation.  “Badly.”

        “How hard did you beg me for it?”

        Drew remembered.  “Hard.”

        “Did I let you?”

        “Yes.”

        “What happened?”

        “I...licked it.  I...”  Drew closed his eyes, remembering, tensing, shuddering.  Oh, god...  His balls hurt.  “I licked it.  I tasted it.  I tasted you.  I...”

        “Tell me,” Nick said.

        “I...  I wanted...  I...  Your...  You were aroused, it was...  I wanted...  I would have given anything, anything, my blood, my life, all I wanted...  To lick, to taste, to know, the permission to put my tongue on...  Anywhere, anywhere, but especially there, right there, with that bead of cream right at the tip.”  A new spasm of ecstasy twisted Drew’s spine.  “I...  I...”

        “Drew,” Nick said.  His voice was soft and encouraging.

        “As big as I’d ever wanted it, thick and dark, long, just right...  I wanted to know how hard, I wanted to feel it for myself, I wanted-”  Drew broke off, shivering.

        “Ssshhh,” Nick said, soothing him.  “You remember what happened?”

        “I tasted it.”

        “And what happened?”

        Drew’s blood ran hot.  “I came.”

        “You remember that?”

        “Yes.”  He remembered that, now, too.  With Nick’s naked erection right there, with that drop of pre-cum on his tongue, with lust thick in his blood, he’d come.  He’d never had a spontaneous orgasm before.  He hadn’t thought that it was possible.

        Nick kissed his cheek, whispering close by his ear.  “How badly did you want me?”

        Drew twisted against Nick’s body, feeling his control starting to slip.  He didn’t know what to say; he could only think badly, badly, badly...

        “You want me so much your body sexes itself just thinking about me,” Nick said.

        “Yes,” Drew said, dropping his head back as he felt Nick’s hand slipping between his thighs.

        “Who else do you want that badly?” Nick asked.  He cupped Drew’s balls, pressed against Drew’s perineum, teased the tight opening.  “Tell me, Drew, tell me who else you want so badly your dick spurts cum when you whisper his name in the dark.”

        “Brian,” Drew said, pushing himself farther onto Nick’s finger.

        “You want Brian?”

        “Yes,” Drew hissed, gripping Nick’s shoulder and working himself against Nick’s touch.

        “You want me?” Nick asked.

        “Yes,” Drew said, in motion, silently demanding more.

        “You want me to fuck you?” Nick asked, crooking a second finger inside Drew’s body.

        “Yes, yes,” Drew panted out, twisting against Nick, rubbing against Nick’s erection.

        “You want to fuck Brian?” Nick asked.

        “Yes,” Drew said, thrusting against Nick, his heated cock sliding against Nick’s.  For once, Drew’s rhythm wasn’t perfect, but he seemed confused by too much pleasure compounded by his attempt to stay quiet.

        Nick’s fingers stroked and twisted and fucked inside Drew.  “You want to fuck me?”

        Drew tensed against him, muscles contracting around Nick’s fingers, gripping Nick’s biceps too tightly.  Hot white cum spurted between their bodies as Drew’s mouth opened in soundless pleasure.  A quick shudder, and Drew relaxed, catching his breath.

        Silent orgasms were just plain wrong, and Nick was not letting Drew get away with that shit.  “Jerk,” Nick said, and flicked Drew’s prostate.

        Drew twitched, gasping.

        Nick did it again.

        Another twitch, another shocked gasp.

        Nick pulled his fingers all of the way out, letting Drew relax and think it was over; then he went in again, fingers re-opening Drew, fucking him gently.

        Drew pulled at the sheets for self-control, lowering his head, breathing hard.

        “What?” Nick asked softly, kissing Drew’s ear.

        “Don’t do this to me,” Drew whispered, rocking slowly against Nick’s touch.

        Nick watched a muscle in Drew’s arm flex.

        Drew was over Nick on all fours, lowering his forehead to Nick’s chest, breathing raggedly.  His hips were in slow motion.  His hands gripped at the sheets with agitation.

        Nick listened to Drew failing to inhale one steady breath.

        Drew shuddered.  “Please.”

        Drew’s voice was barely a whisper, but the need in it was loud enough.  Nick knew what Drew wanted.  With his feet flat on the mattress for leverage, Nick arched his back, raising his hips, rubbing his hard dick against Drew’s abs.  He bit his lip, doing his best not to groan.  He could play the silent game, too.  Oh, god, that felt good.  Nick dropped back, barely preventing himself from getting off right then and there.  “Please what?  What do you want?” he asked, just to be an ass.

        Drew shook his head.  His hands were bunching the covers against Nick’s side, and Nick could feel the anxious greed through the material.  Oh, that was it.  Drew was trying not to touch Nick, but couldn’t help but be as close to Nick as possible.

        Poor Drew.  “I can’t fuck you without lube,” Nick said.  “I shouldn’t even be giving you two fingers.”  He pulled one finger out.

        Drew was panting.  He reached back and pushed Nick’s hand away.  Nick pulled out entirely, wondering what Drew was up to.  Drew curled his hand around the shaft of Nick’s cock, and Nick bit his fist to stifle a thick groan.

        Then Nick realized that Drew was going for it.  “Drew,” he said, but that was all he got out before he had his teeth in his skin again.  Drew was kneeling up, one hand on Nick’s cock, ever so slightly rubbing himself against the head of it.  Nick’s dick started leaking pre-cum against Drew’s ass.

        Nick started to rationalize.  He was wetting the point of entry, and Drew was already stretched inside from his fingers, so this would be okay.  It wouldn’t hurt.  It would feel good.  It would feel really good.  It would feel so very fucking very fucking very fucking good if he could just get his dick-

        oh

        -inside Drew’s ass.  Oh holy sweet mother of, oh god, he was in, half in, a few inches and the head gripped inside tight muscle and perfect heat, the urge to thrust it all home driving his hips forward, but he couldn’t move because he was transfixed by the sight of Drew coming, coming, coming.

        In utter silence.

        Bastard.

        Nick jacked his hips up, slamming his dick all the way in, taking Drew unaware.  Drew was relaxed but too dry and the friction was too much stimulation and Nick had been ready to come for too long now and it exploded, rocking his body, ripping him open and spilling him inside Drew.

        Nick didn’t feel like moving.  Not even to open his eyes.  No, he was fine where he was.  He heard little sounds as Drew moved around, and he felt Drew wiping him off from when Drew had come on him.  Yes, Drew had come on him, but it wasn’t deliberate, so it didn’t count.  That had just been coming, in general, and Nick had been close enough to get squirted on.  Really coming on someone was doing it on purpose, stopping and taking the time to aim and everything.  Like the time Brian-

        Drew was getting into bed with him, and now Nick remembered that he was mad at Drew.  Drew pulled the covers up and climbed on top of him, kissing his cheek, kissing his mouth, getting cosy.

        Nick kissed back, running his hands over Drew’s body, slipping Drew some tongue.  “I’m still mad at you.”

        “I know you are,” Drew said.

        Nick rubbed Drew’s thigh.  It was all muscular.  Nice.  “Tonight was a stand-off.  Tomorrow, I’ll win.”

        “It wasn’t right,” Drew said.

        “What wasn’t?”

        “You didn’t...  You weren’t making any noise.  You didn’t...”

        “It sucked, didn’t it?  It was disappointing.  It’s not as good.”

        “I missed it,” Drew said.  “I miss the sounds you make.  You always sound so good, you sound like you’re enjoying yourself, you sound...so hot...”

        “It turns you on.”

        “Yes.”

        “Hearing you turns me on, too,” Nick said.

        Drew kissed him.

        “I’m still pissed at you.”

        “I know.  I’m sorry.”

        Nick rolled to his side, taking Drew with him.  “Stop being stubborn.”

        “No.”

        “You don’t always have to be polite.  Sometimes you can be greedy and selfish.  Who cares if someone overhears us?  They’re all just jealous that I fuck you so well.  And, hey.  I think that Brian gets a vote, too.  And he’d vote on my side, so you lose, so tomorrow you have to be loud.”

        “Brian isn’t here.”

        “He’s here in that spiritual, romantic sense.”

        “He’s not here physically.”

        “You’re my Drew, you’re my sub bitch, and you have to do what I say.”

        “No, I don’t.”

        “Yes, you do.”

        “Sorry, no.  Good night.”  Drew kissed his nose and rolled over.

        “Bitch.”

        “Don’t call me that.”  Drew nestled back against him.  Nick knew it was no accident that Drew’s ass happened to settle against his dick that way.

        Frustrating, stubborn, pissy...  Drew was still his Drew, and Nick loved him.  Nick kissed Drew’s shoulder and cuddled him up protectively.  “I love you.”

        “Mmm, I love you,” Drew said, sounding mostly asleep.

        “You were very sexy tonight.”

        “Thanks,” Drew murmured.  Yep, asleep.

        “Brian’s calling us tomorrow.”

        Wide awake.  “What?”

        Where was JC?  Justin was barely in the door, and the room was dark, but he knew JC wasn’t here.  He turned on the light, and it was confirmed.  The room was empty.

        Justin knocked on Chris’s door.

        Chris opened the door and squinted at Justin.  “This had better be important.  I was having sex dreams about Latino twins named Howie and Howard.”

        “Yeah, I had that dream yesterday,” Justin said, just to mess with him.  “Where’s JC?”

        “Not in here.”

        “Do you know where he went?”

        “Out.  Clubs.  Fun, dance, party, woo-hoo.  Can I go back to bed now?”

        “By himself?  Why didn’t you go with him?” Justin asked.

        “He went with Joey and Lance,” Chris said.

        “He what?” Justin asked.

        The elevators dinged.  They heard Joey’s voice.  Justin pushed Chris aside and slipped into Chris’s room, pulling the door almost entirely shut.  “Tell anyone about this later and I’ll kick your ass,” Justin said.

        “Okay,” Chris said, and went back to bed.

        Joey, Lance, and JC came down the hallway with a girl.  Joey and the girl went into Joey’s room.  Lance put his arm around JC’s waist.  JC said something, and Lance laughed, and Lance said something, and JC laughed.

        Justin watched through the slit of the door.

        JC opened his door.

        “He must not be back yet,” Lance said.

        “What time is it?” JC asked.

        “I don’t know,” Lance said.

        “I feel like he’s here,” JC said.

        Justin ducked back.

        “We could go out looking for him,” Lance said.  “I can’t believe we didn’t run into him.”

        “We could,” JC said, like he was thinking about it.  Justin peeked again.

        “You want to go back out?” Lance asked.  His hand was on JC’s back.

        “No,” JC said.  “We have an early day tomorrow.”

        “We have an early day every day,” Lance said.

        “I’m just going to go to bed,” JC said.  “See you in the morning.”

        Lance did a very slick maneuver where he half-hugged, half-pressed himself against JC’s body.  They said good night and went into their rooms.  Lance’s room was right beside JC’s, probably just in case there was a hole in the wall where Lance could spy on JC.

        Justin slipped out of Chris’s room and across the hall.  He let himself into his own room.

        JC came out of the bathroom, down to his boxer-briefs, toothbrush in hand.  “Justin.”

        “Hey, baby,” Justin said, and hugged him.  God, that felt good.  God, he loved JC.  God, he wanted to fuck JC forever.

        “Baby,” JC said, rubbing his back.  “What’s wrong?”

        “Let me make love to you,” Justin said.

        “Oh, Justin.”  JC tipped his chin back and let Justin kiss his neck.  “You’re already hard for me, baby.  Are you going to make love to me tonight?”

        “Yes,” Justin said, as JC’s arms went around him.  “Yes, JC.”  He was going to take JC, to prove that JC was his, all his, only his.  He was going to make sure JC got loud, so anyone named Lance who might be listening from the next room could hear how thoroughly JC, and JC’s body, belonged to Justin.  In fact, he was going to take JC on that wall right there so Lance would be sure to enjoy it right along with them.  God, JC’s kiss was so right...  Justin was getting harder with the knowledge that he was about to own JC’s body.

        “Are you going to own me tonight?” JC asked.

        Justin pushed JC back against the wall.  JC always knew what Justin wanted.  JC always picked up on what Justin needed from him.  Justin started rocking against JC there on the wall, wanting to come against him out of gratitude.  “Yes.”

        “Are you going to possess my body tonight?” JC asked.

        God, JC wanted it.  The more JC wanted it, the more Justin wanted it.  The more Justin wanted it, the more JC wanted it.  That was how things worked.  “Yes,” Justin said.  “Yes, JC, you’re mine tonight.”

        JC moaned, pulling off Justin’s clothes.  “Make me yours.”

        “Let me take you,” Justin said, urging, wanting.  JC was his.  JC belonged to him, body and soul.  JC wanted to belong to him.  JC’s hands on the naked flesh of his torso were his first clue that he was half undressed.  He got his jeans down to his ankles, realized he was still wearing shoes, and gave up.  He had more important things to give his attention to, like JC jacking his dick and kissing his mouth.

        “Justin,” JC said, starting to pant.

        “I know, baby,” Justin said.  The need was taking over.  He wanted to - - damn it, the lube!  Damn it!  “Stay here, JC, wait for me.”

        “Baby,” JC said, like it hurt.  Justin threw his shoes across the room and yanked off his pants, then snatched up the lube and was back.

        Justin and JC were flesh to flesh, sharing skin and air and need, wrapped around each other and rubbing against each other until they couldn’t remember who was who anymore, they could only remember how badly they needed to be one.

        They knew how best to make that happen.

        JC turned away, facing the wall, offering himself to Justin.

        Justin couldn’t recall where the lube was, but his fingers were slick, so it was a safe bet he’d used it.  He looked down, and, “Oh, god, JC, your ass.”

        “Take it, baby.”

        JC’s ass had the perfect tight round shape, the best ass Justin had seen on any man.  He rubbed his dick against it and left a wet shine of pre-cum.  “God, JC...”

        “Justin.”

        Justin wrapped one arm around JC’s waist, his hand on JC’s abs, to soothe and steady.  His other hand took the base of his dick.  He got ready.

        JC moaned.

        Justin thrust.

        JC groaned.

        Justin thrust deeper.

        JC clutched at the wall.

        “Oh god, JC.”

        “Justin...”

        “It feels so good, JC, you feel so good...”

        JC was panting in rhythm with Justin’s thrusts.

        “You’re mine, JC, your body’s mine, your ass is mine.”

        “I’m yours.”

        “Say it, baby.”

        “I’m yours, baby, I’m yours.”

        “Make me believe it,” Justin said.  He couldn’t fuck JC deep enough.

        “I’m yours.”

        “You’re mine,” Justin said.  “You’re mine, you’re mine, you’re mine.  You live for me, breathe for me, write for me, sing for me, dance for me, lust for me, come for me.”

        “It’s all for you, baby, it’s all yours.”

        Justin needed more of JC, all of JC.  He gripped JC’s hips, pulling them back, and fucked JC harder, digging his fingers in, cursing loudly against JC’s skin, while JC called out his name in a constant, mounting echo of passionate obsession, “Justin, Justin.”  Justin was lost in mindless need, fucking and rutting, taking JC for his own, coming twice before pulling out.

        JC went limp against the wall, murmuring Justin’s name.  He pushed himself up and shifted around to put his back to the wall, looking at Justin, murmurs dropping to a whisper.

        Justin hugged him, clinging to him, kissing him, jacking him until he was hard again, kneeling down and sucking him off.  JC came in his mouth, crying out his name, telling the world he belonged to Justin, Justin, Justin.

        JC slid down the wall to sit on the floor with him.  They leaned on each other, holding on to each other, breathing together.

        “Do you feel better, baby?” JC asked.

        Justin rubbed his forehead back and forth against JC’s shoulder.  “What?”

        “You’ve been agitated.  There’s confusion and hurt in your eyes, baby, all of the time now.  I want you to tell me what’s wrong, I want to help you.”  JC pulled Justin closer, if that were possible.

        “It’s nothing, JC, it’s me.”  It was him, it was what Lance was doing to his head; but god, after this, after everything Lance must have heard, the way he’d owned JC, the way JC had been owned, the way JC had called his name...  Lance could never offer JC anything like that.  JC was too thoroughly immersed in Justin for anyone else to have a chance.  It had been almost cruel for Justin to make Lance hear them tonight, but it had made Justin’s point.  JC loved Justin.  And Justin...  He raised his head and looked into JC’s eyes, where everything Justin breathed for, lived.  “You love me, JC.  You love me, and that’s all that I need to believe in to be happy.”

        “I do love you, baby, I love you more than anything.  You’re so special to me, baby, so special, I’ll love you forever.”

        Justin kissed JC because he had to.

        “I love you, Justin, always,” JC promised.  “You’re the only one, the only one I’ll ever love like this, the only one I can ever love at all.”

        “I love you, too, JC,” Justin said.  He tried to sit closer to JC’s naked body, but they were as close as they could be already.  “I could never ever feel about anyone the way I feel about you.  You’re so important to me, JC, you’re everything.”

        “Baby.  Thank you, Justin, thank you for-”

        “God, JC,” and Justin had to laugh.  “You can’t keep thanking me for being in love with you.”

        “You give me so much, Justin, and all of it is a precious gift to me.”

        Justin closed his eyes and soaked up JC’s love.  JC whispered adoration and caressed his bare skin.  Justin would have been happy to stay there, until he remembered that they were still on the floor.  He brought that point to JC’s attention, and they moved to the bed.  They tucked each other in, and kissed, and talked, and kissed, and professed their love, and kissed, and made love, and kissed, and snuggled, and kissed, and fell asleep.

        The phone was ringing.

        Howie patted his hand in that direction, opening his eyes, finding it.  “Hello?”

        “Where is AJ?”

        “What?”

        “Where is AJ?”

        “He’s in-”  Howie was awake enough to catch himself.  “Who is this?”

        “This is Lance.  Give me a number where I can reach him.”

        “If AJ wants to talk to you, he’ll call you.”

        “Give me his number!  I know you have it!  He’s probably in bed with you right now!”

        “AJ is not in my bed,” Howie said.  “When you come home and AJ comes home, you can talk to him then.  Making wild accusations is not going to get me to give you his number.”

        “You owe me,” Lance said.  “It’s the least you can do.”

        “That indiscretion almost cost me everything I have with Chris,” Howie said.  “I know how seriously it affected all four of us, and everyone around us.  I’m sorry that it hurt you.  I like you, Lance, and you and AJ were very good together.  You’ll have every opportunity to see AJ when you’re both back in town.”  He hung up and rolled over, flipping his hair, getting comfortable.  This bed was too big without Chris in it.

        He wondered at what point Lance had officially lost his mind.  Lance was mentally unbalanced.

        Howie couldn’t help but compare Lance with Kevin.  When he’d been on *NSYNC’s tour, Lance had brought up AJ several times, always sounding bitter.  Chris had told Howie that half of the time, Lance would mention AJ in a happier way, like a fond memory, like a beloved friend.

        When Howie talked to Kevin these days, they’d mention AJ in passing as easily and casually as they’d mention Nick or  Brian, with the same level of affection, with the same level of importance.  Like nothing had ever happened.  Like AJ was no different from the rest of them in Kevin’s heart.

        Lance couldn’t talk to AJ and didn’t know where AJ was, and evidence suggested that he couldn’t stand the idea.

        Kevin couldn’t talk to AJ and didn’t know where AJ was.  He’d never asked Howie for AJ’s number.  He’d never pried for clues to AJ’s whereabouts.  He’d accepted that AJ was temporarily out of reach.

        AJ had finally figured out what he wanted, and was going to make sure that he got it.

        Lance didn’t know what he wanted, and was acting like an idiot because of it.

        Kevin knew what he wanted, had long ago come to terms with the fact that he’d never get it, and was stepping quietly back into the shadows.

        Howie felt bad for all three of them, for what they’d lost, for what they’d never had.  He was glad he had Chris.  Chris’s self-created insanity was nothing compared to other people’s dramatics.

        Drew shook Nick’s shoulder.  “Nick.  Nick.  Nick!”

        “What?” Nick asked irritably, rolling over towards Drew only to pull the covers up further and try to go back to sleep.

        “Brian’s calling today,” Drew said.

        “So?  He-”  Nick’s eyes opened.  “What?”

        “Brian’s calling today,” Drew said.

        Nick grabbed Drew, rolling him to his back, kissing him.

        “Nick,” Drew said.

        “What?” Nick asked, still kissing him.

        “Brian’s calling today,” Drew said.

        “Say it again.”  Nick kissed Drew’s neck.

        “Brian’s calling today,” Drew said.

        “One more time,” Nick said.

        “Brian’s calling today.”

        “Brian.”

        “Brian.”

        “Brian.”

        “Brian.”

        “Brian Brian Brian Brian-”

        “-Brian Brian Brian-”

        “-Brian Brian Brian Brian Brian.”

        Their eyes met.

        “Brian!”

        They burst into laughter, then rolled around the bed, kissing.

        Brian!

        JC was scrubbing at the wall.

        “JC, what are you doing?”

        JC looked over his shoulder.  “Go back to sleep, baby.”

        “What are you doing?” Justin repeated.  They’d had sex on that wall, but JC didn’t have to - - oh.  Oh.  Um...oops.  Justin got up out of bed and leaned over JC’s shoulder, watching.  Yep.  JC was cleaning cum off the wall.  “Sorry.”

        “You don’t have to apologize, baby.”

        “I’m the one who made you come,” Justin said.

        Justin could hear the smile in JC’s voice.  “You always are.”

        Justin laughed and squeezed JC.  JC pulled him around in front and kissed him.  Mmm.  Oh, mmm...  Justin rested his back against the wall, encouraging JC between his legs and against his naked body, wrapping his arms around JC.

        It didn’t take much.  JC’s kiss, devastating as always.  JC’s voice, low and intimate, in his ears.  JC’s cheek against his cheek, JC’s mouth on his neck, JC’s tongue flickering against his ear.  JC’s hands in his hair, fingers caressing his face.  Everything close, personal, voice, touch, until Justin was overwhelmed.  Only after he’d already come did JC decide that it would be a great idea to fuck him against the wall.  He had nothing to hold on to, nothing to ground himself with, but JC.  That was a mistake.  He put on a spectacular show, sweating and screaming and writhing and sobbing and scratching and begging.

        Afterwards, he felt great.  Not shocked or embarrassed or shaky.  Great.  Maybe he’d needed a serious fucking to get his mind back in order.  He wasn’t worried about Lance.  He wasn’t worried about anything.  He had JC, and all was right with the world.

        Then it occurred to him that maybe, after last night, this had been an especially cruel way to make Lance greet the morning.

        Passionately.

        As passionately as JC had been crying out Justin’s name all last night.

        The motherfucker.

        “Brian,” Nick said.

        “Brian,” Drew agreed.

        “I get to talk to him first.”

        “I get to,” Drew said.

        “Me,” Nick said.

        “Me,” Drew said.

        “Or I guess we just listen, and he talks,” Nick said.  “I don’t care.  I get to listen to him first, then.”

        “I get to,” Drew said.

        “I’m taller.”

        “I’m older.”

        “I’ve known him longer.”

        “I’m...”

        “Ha.”

        “My dick’s bigger!”

        “Bad bad bad Drew!  And that doesn’t count!”

        “Then why does being taller count?”

        “Because I said so!”

        “You got to listen first last time.”

        “That means I get to this time, too.”

        “No, it doesn’t.”

        “We’re calling from my phone, so I get him first,” Nick said.

        “Let’s call from my phone.”

        “Let’s call during sex so he has to listen to us screwing.”

        “We did that last time,” Drew said.

        “Yeah, but we didn’t mean to.  Let’s do it for real this time, on purpose.”

        “No.  I don’t think I can.”

        “You can,” Nick said.  “You know what it’s like to be on his end.  You’ve sat there, listening to us, hearing us doing that.”

        “I’m not like you,” Drew said.

        “Which means what?” Nick asked.  “No, you’re not the hottest thing anyone’s seen onstage, but keep working on it.”

        “I meant,” Drew said, “I’m not...I’m not an exhibitionist.”

        “I’m not an exhibitionist,” Nick said.

        “You’re willing to initiate things in front of other people if you think it’ll be worth it,” Drew said.  “I don’t want an audience.  I want things to be between just us.”

        “It’s Brian,” Nick said.

        “I know, but he’s not here with us.  Over the phone, it’s...”  Drew struggled.  “I don’t know if-”

        “You can do it,” Nick said.  “You know you can get hot and bothered with me.  All Brian’s doing is what you used to do.  He’s sitting there, listening, jacking his dick, trying not to come before we’re finished.”

        “What if that’s not why he’s calling?” Drew asked.  “What if he wants to talk?”

        “He’ll talk to us when we’re finished.”

        “What are we going to do?”

        Nick grinned.  “What do you want to do?”

        “Well, as long as...  I mean, I wasn’t...  But since-”

        “What?” Nick asked.

        “I thought maybe I could make love to you while you’re thinking about Brian, so I can feel that...thing, again.”

        “You want to have me the way Brian has me.”

        “Yes.”

        “I don’t know if it’ll work.  I don’t think I can just - - I mean, he’s not here, he’s-”

        “It happened last time,” Drew said.  “You miss him so much, you want to be with him so much, knowing he’s on the other end of the line will put you there.”

        “Oh.”

        Drew kissed Nick, stroking his hair, his cheek.  “I know how much you miss him.  I’m sorry.”

        Nick tried not to go mushy inside.  “You miss him, too.”

        “It’s not the same.  I always miss Brian.  I live half of my life with that void.  You’re always with him, always near him, always seeing him and talking to him.  You’re so in tune with each other...”

        “Don’t make me cry,” Nick said, and sniffed.

        “He loves you,” Drew said.  “He’ll tell you that today, himself.  You’ll hear it again, his voice in your ear, telling you that he loves you.  If you close your eyes, he’ll be there, sitting beside you, looking right at you, on the verge of touching you, telling you that he loves you.”

        “It hurts,” Nick said, and wiped at the stupid tears falling down his cheeks.

        “I know it does,” Drew said.

        “We have to go home soon,” Nick said.

        Drew hugged him, holding him close.  “We will.”

        “Nothing,” Nick said.

        Justin nodded, watching people mill around the room.

        “Jeff lied to me,” Nick said.

        “What?”  Justin looked for Jeff.  Yeah, that was still Jeff.

        “He’s never lied to me before,” Nick said.

        “I know,” Justin said.

        “How do you know?” Nick asked.

        “Jeff doesn’t lie to you,” Justin said.

        “He did yesterday.”

        “Are you sure he was lying?”

        “Yes.  It wasn’t even a big deal, he wasn’t lying about anything serious.  It’s just...he lied to me.”

        “Maybe something’s going on with him.”

        “I don’t know.”

        “Stop biting your nails.”

        “I have to.  It relieves stress.”

        “Stop being stressed.”

        “Tell Jeff to stop stressing me.”

        “Lachey!”  Jeff called across the room.  “Knock it off!”

        Nick guiltily pulled his finger from his mouth.

        Jeff gave him a warning look and turned away again.

        Nick sat on his hands.

        “He must have a reason,” Justin said.  “He wouldn’t lie to you without a good reason.”

        “I know, but...  I don’t know.  It was weird.  The only reason I can think of doesn’t seem right.”

        “What’s the reason?”

        “To get me in bed.”

        “Jeff knows he never has to lie to get you in bed,” Justin said.

        “We were fighting,” Nick offered.

        “It still doesn’t work,” Justin said.  “Jeff knows that any time he looks at you, he has you right where he wants you.  He wouldn’t lie to smooth things over, or to get you in bed.”

        “Then why?”

        “There must be another reason, a real reason, that we don’t know about.  Or else he wasn’t lying at all.”

        “But I know he was.  What he said was so freaking ridiculous...”

        Justin shrugged.  “I’m at a loss.”

        “So am I.”

        “Nick!”  Jeff gave him a warning look.  “Don’t make me come over there!”

        Nick trapped his hands under his thighs again.

        Justin turned to JC.  “What?”

        “I don’t know, baby,” JC said, moving in on him, stroking his limbs.  “The way you were last night, baby, the way you claimed me.”

        Justin’s lashes fluttered and he tried to remember they were in public.  JC was stroking him up, everywhere except - - oh, god, there, too.  Justin murmured a quick denial, reaching back to the counter for support.  JC nuzzled under his chin, left hot, wet, sucking kisses down his neck, sucked on his collarbone.  Justin moaned, spreading his thighs, wrapping his arms around JC.

        “Guys,” Joey said.

        “The way you claimed me,” JC said again, and rubbed his hands over Justin’s ass.  Justin ground his pelvis to JC’s, wanting JC to know how hard he was, wanting JC to do something about it.  “Baby, the way you took me.”  His mouth was on Justin’s neck again, and when his tongue licked at Justin’s voicebox, Justin moaned, leaning back against the counter, wanting JC to lift him up onto it and fuck him.

        “Knock it the fuck off,” Lance said, and grabbed JC’s arm, wrenching him off of Justin.  “Linus and half the radio station are going to be in here any minute, and they don’t want to find you in here with your pants down and your dick up Justin’s ass.”

        Justin blinked, coming back to earth.

        JC slapped Lance.  Not hard at all, not to damage, just to make a point.

        “Hey,” Joey said, and pulled JC back - - gently, but definitely.

        Justin didn’t know what to do now.

        JC and Lance were glaring at each other with hot hatred.

        Maybe a little too hot.

        “Sorry,” Justin said, since it was a place to start.

        “Look at you,” Lance said.  When he turned his gaze to Justin, the hatred flared to new proportions.  Holy shit.  Justin was scared, now.  “You look like you just came out from a back room fuck.”

        JC slapped Lance again.  Didn’t say anything, just slapped him.  JC didn’t really need to say anything, since the serious death threat in his eyes was saying plenty.

        “Knock it off!” Joey said, and stepped in between them.

        “Oh, look, JC, Justin’s dick is still hard,” Lance said.  “Aren’t you going to suck it?”

        Joey tensed, ready to stop JC from reaching for Lance again.

        Justin tensed, too, wondering what wrath JC was going to deliver.

        Silence.

        JC looked Lance straight in the eyes.

        Silence.

        “Yes.”  JC put his arm around Justin’s waist and walked Justin out of the room.

        “What?” Nick asked.  He kept his gaze up on Jeff’s face, trying not to look at the body before him.

        “You’re biting your nails again.”  Jeff’s touch skimmed Nick’s cheek, his jaw.  “I thought I got you to stop that.”

        “It’s nothing,” Nick said.

        Jeff’s hand dropped back to his side.  “It’s a sign of stress.”

        “We’re on tour.”

        “It’s no more stressful now than it has been.”

        “I don’t know.”

        Jeff touched Nick’s chin.  “Give me a kiss.”

        Nick pulled his knee up under himself, putting himself closer to Jeff.  He pressed his lips to Jeff’s, closing his eyes, letting his thoughts melt down to nothing but Jeff, this kiss.  He parted his lips, deepening the kiss, giving Jeff more of his mouth, his tongue.  He felt Jeff start to pull away and he felt that soft weird twinge inside.

        “I love you,” Jeff said, and the way he looked into Nick’s eyes said something, something Nick was missing.  Jeff kissed him and walked away again.

        Nick dropped back into his casual slouch, watching Jeff go.

        Jeff wouldn’t lie to him.  The man who had just stood there, touching him as they talked, would not lie to him.

        He knew how much Jeff loved him, or at least he thought he did, and it was a hell of a lot.  They liked to keep it lighter, they tried to keep it more casual, but underneath was the tremendous force of their love.

        Jeff wouldn’t lie to smooth things over, to seek forgiveness, or to get him in bed.  Jeff didn’t have to lie.  Jeff had never had to lie to him before in order to achieve those simple things.

        Nick choked on the sudden shock, eyes widening.

        “JC,” Justin said.

        “Ssshhh, baby,” JC said, caressing his body

        “JC, we’re in the bathroom,” Justin said.

        “Ssshhh, Justin, relax for me,” JC said, and kissed his neck, stroking his naked back under his shirt.

        “JC, you hit Lance,” Justin said.

        “Let me love you, baby.”

        “JC, you can’t hit Lance,” Justin said.  Oh, god, that felt good.  He couldn’t moan; moaning meant giving in, and he was trying to talk here.  He at least had to explain to JC that it was wrong to bitchslap their best friends.  He, oh, oh, god, JC...  Justin moaned, giving himself to JC, dropping his head back, opening his legs, letting JC touch him through his jeans.

        “He deserved it, baby,” JC murmured, kissing Justin’s neck.

        “He had a point,” Justin said.

        “He talked about you,” JC said.

        “He’s our best friend,” Justin said, trying to focus on the conversation, trying not to forget everything just because JC’s mouth was on his neck.

        “He disrespected you,” JC said.

        Oh, god.  Justin shivered when he felt JC’s hand on his naked erection.  JC’s mouth had found a good spot on his neck and was feasting there, sucking on his skin.  Justin put his hand over JC’s hand on his cock, encouraging.  JC’s thumb rubbed across the head, and then JC stopped.  Stopped everything, raised his head, and looked at Justin’s face.  Justin breathed, open-mouthed and wanting, wondering, waiting.  Trusting.  JC brought his hand up slowly and carefully, deliberately, brushed his thumb across Justin’s lower lip.  Justin shuddered once and stilled.  JC leaned in, sucked Justin’s lower lip into his mouth, and licked.

        Justin wanted, needed.  JC was kissing him now, hand back on his erection, encouraging hot animal sounds from his throat.  JC dipped lower, mouth on his neck again, finger pushing up inside his body.  Justin writhed against the wall, wanting JC to make love to him, wanting JC’s dick, wanting JC’s body. JC’s finger was probing deep, finding his hot spot, making him moan JC’s name with every stroke.  For one blessed moment of relief, he put his own hand on his dick, squeezing and pulling; but JC said, “No, baby,” against his skin, and he stopped.  His hand was wet with pre-cum.

        Justin’s left hand pulled up JC’s shirt.  JC’s touch inside triggered something good and Justin moaned, temporarily stricken.  The moment passed, and he was in control of himself again.  He exposed JC’s stomach, then put his right hand up under JC’s shirt and planted it flat against JC’s chest.  He ran his hand down to JC’s abs, wiping his hand clean on JC’s skin.

        “Mmm, thank you, baby,” JC murmured, and gave him a quick dirty finger-fucking in gratitude, leaving Justin a needy begging wreck.

        Justin was about to come, and he could feel it, the edge, the growing tension in his body, the need about to spill over into satiation.  He was panting, chest heaving, and when JC’s finger left his body, his muscles contracted in thwarted greed.  In desperate tones, he begged JC to make love to him, to give him what only JC could.

        JC kissed him, a shocking and beautiful thing.  Then JC kissed a quick path down his chest through his shirt, and knelt.  The first pass of JC’s lips over the head, that light kiss, had need convulsing through Justin’s body.  The first true instant in JC’s mouth, closed in glorious loving wet heat, had want spinning up Justin’s spine.  Then there was suction, and orgasm, and love, and calm.

        Justin existed quietly while JC licked in his pubic hair.  He adjusted his stance, winced at the cold tile wall against his naked ass, and let JC turn him on again.

        JC stood, kissing him.  “We have to go, baby.”

        “Hmm.”  Justin loved the way JC kissed.

        “You’re a little hard again, baby.  Is that okay?”

        “Hmm.”  Justin wanted JC to make love to him.

        “I’ll take care of you later, Justin, I’ll make you feel good, I promise you, baby.  But we’re going to be late if we stay here.”

        JC’s kiss, JC’s mouth...

        JC redressed Justin and fixed his hair.  He pulled Justin over to the sink and replaced sweat with cool water, then dried Justin off with paper towels.  “Are you all right, baby?”

        Justin whispered JC’s name and kissed him.

        “Baby, we’re going to be late,” JC said.

        Justin jerked back.  “Shit!”

        JC smiled.

        “Shit.  Let’s go.  What time is it?  We still have, shit, thirty seconds, unless they’re early - - come on!”  Justin kissed JC and ran.

        Jeff had a thing for him.  Not for him, but his status, his famous side.  Jeff had a secret crush on his persona.

        That was ridiculous.  Jeff had been lying.

        Jeff didn’t lie.

        Jeff had been making it up.

        Jeff didn’t lie.

        Jeff had been exaggerating.

        Even so, some of it still had to be true.

        Why would Jeff have a hidden lust for that side of him?  Jeff didn’t care about that stuff.  Jeff knew him better than that. Jeff had been there for every second of his rise to fame, and had risen right alongside him.

        They still had trouble believing that all of those screaming fans wanted them and had posters of them tacked up at home.  Why would Jeff fall for him the same way?

        Drew’s thing for Nick and Brian was just as crazy, but if he looked at it in a certain light, he could understand.  But Jeff?  Thinking of him like that?

        It was nuts.

        Nick didn’t get it.

        Not hard.  It hadn’t hurt at all...physically.

        Chris said it was Lance’s fault for disturbing JC and Justin’s quality time in the first place.

        Joey was so freaking worried about him, Lance was tempted to ask if Joey wanted to kiss it and make it better.

        Brian hadn’t said anything, since it wasn’t his place; but he looked like he was on JC and Justin’s side.  No surprise there, since Lance suspected Justin was sucking Brian’s dick on the side.

        JC was acting like everything was normal, talking to him like nothing had happened.  Like JC could smack him around and then expect him to understand.

        Justin looked conflicted, the poor baby.  Well, he’d be fine as soon as JC comforted him right through the mattress.

        Justin had a hickey, too.  JC had marked him.  Lance watched him through narrowed eyes.

        “Justin picks up love bites pretty easily,” Joey said.

        “Hickeys,” Lance said.

        “You look like you would, too.”

        Lance paid attention to what they were talking about.  “What?”

        “You look like you’d be easy to mark,” Joey said.  “Your skin.”

        “I have no desire to walk around with someone’s bite on my neck for the world to see,” Lance said.

        “It’s not a bite mark,” Joey said.  “And not these one-night stands, I mean if you were with someone, he’d probably leave a mark.”

        “AJ never let me mark him,” Lance said.  “He let Kevin.”

        “Forget about Kevin; Kevin never mattered to AJ.”

        “What are you doing?”

        “Give me your hand.”

        “For what?”

        “I want to see if you bruise easily.”

        “Hell, no,” Lance said, pulling back.

        “Not like that,” Joey said, taking Lance’s hand.  “Hold still.”

        “Some people don’t bruise a lot,” Lance said.  “You don’t.  Maybe I - - Joey, what are you doing?”

        Joey kissed the skin just beneath Lance’s inner elbow.  He licked at the sensitive skin, gave it a slow kiss, and sucked gently.

        “Joey,” Lance said.

        A few feet away, Chris turned and watched.

        “Joey,” Lance said again, softer this time.

        Joey changed angles and sucked harder.

        The hand Joey held opened, closed, opened, closed.

        Justin came up behind Chris.  “Uh...”

        “Are you thinking what I’m thinking?” Chris asked.

        “That this is the most bizarre thing I’ve ever seen?” Justin asked.

        “No, I was thinking that Joey must give good head,” Chris said.

        Lance’s eyes had closed.

        “Joey doesn’t give head,” Justin said.

        “Joey’s mouth doesn’t have sex with Lance’s elbow, either,” Chris said.

        “What the hell are they doing?” Justin asked.

        “Expanding their horizons?  Exploring new kinks?” Chris suggested.

        Joey gave Lance a final lick and lifted his head.

        Lance’s eyes opened.

        “Are they going to kiss?” Justin asked, sounding disturbed.

        “I’m waiting for one of them to wipe Joey’s spit off Lance’s arm,” Chris said.

        Joey released Lance’s wrist.

        “Joey doesn’t have a hard-on,” Justin said, relieved.

        “Lance does,” Chris said.

        “Not a serious one,” Justin said.

        “We can see it from here,” Chris said.  “It counts.”

        “Joey!” JC yelled.

        “Bad timing,” Chris said.

        “Great timing,” Justin said.

        Joey left.

        Chris wandered over in Lance’s direction.  Justin trailed behind him, reluctant but curious.  Lance looked normal.  Absolutely normal.  Apparently getting inner elbow kisses from straight best friends didn’t faze him.  “So,” Chris said, “seen any good movies lately?”

        Lance looked at Justin.

        “What?” Justin asked.

        “Does JC know?”

        “Does JC know what?” Justin asked.

        Lance walked off.

        “What the hell?” Justin asked.

        “I forgot it was Insanity Day, but apparently Lance is going ahead and celebrating without us,” Chris said.

        “What?” Drew asked.

        “I’m waiting for you to start bouncing up and down with excitement,” Jeff said.  “You’ve been beaming and glowing all morning.”

        “Brian’s calling today,” Drew said.

        “Yes, I heard.”

        “He’s been half hard all day,” Nick said.

        “Go away,” Drew said.

        “Okay,” Nick said.  “It’s because-”

        “Away,” Drew said.

        “I’m explaining to Jeff,” Nick said.  “It’s because Brian loves Drew’s dick, and Drew knows Brian wants to be good to it, so-”

        “Away,” Drew said firmly.

        “Okay.  I’ll go find out what’s wrong with Nick,” Nick said.

        “What is wrong with Nick?” Drew asked Jeff.

        “I don’t know,” Jeff said.  “He started off being upset and worried about something.  Now he’s jumpy and easily confused.”

        “What’d you do to him?” Nick asked.

        “I didn’t do anything,” Jeff said.

        “I thought you were leaving,” Drew said to Nick.

        “You’re very cute when you’re beaming and half-hard,” Nick said.  “It’s hard to leave.”

        “Please stop talking about the state of my...”

        “Dick.  Cock.  Penis.”

        “Penis,” Drew said.

        Nick’s smile was wide.  “It sounds dirty when you say it.”

        “It does,” Jeff admitted, grinning.

        Nick Timmons-Lachey walked up without making eye contact.  He glanced at Nick and said, “Can we talk?”

        “Yeah,” Nick said.  “We’re leaving now,” he told Jeff and Drew.  “It’s a Nick conference.  Later.”

        Jeff and Drew watched them leave.  “Brian wants to be good to it?”

        “Shut up,” Drew said.

        “Joey sucking the blood out of Lance’s arm,” Justin said.

        “What conclusions can we draw from what we’ve witnessed?” Chris asked.

        “Joey’s a vampire,” Justin said.

        “Did I ever tell you about my Howie vampire dream?”

        “Twelve times,” Justin said.  “Stop watching that video.”

        “Did I-”

        “Yes,” Justin said.

        “And-”

        “Yes,” Justin said.  “You’re disturbed.”

        “Fuck.  Ing.  Sex.  Y.”

        “Dis.  Turb.  Ed.”

        “Back to Lance and Joey,” Chris said.  “Theories thus far: vampirism.”

        “Lance was bitten by a venomous snake and Joey had to suck out the poison,” Justin said.

        “Good, good,” Chris said.

        Justin tried to think of more ideas.

        Chris hummed.

        “I’m fresh out,” Justin said.

        “Yep,” Chris said.  “We’re stuck with snakes and vampires.  Lance!”

        “What are you doing?” Justin asked.

        “Checking for fang marks,” Chris said.  “Lancifer!”

        Lance walked up to them.  “Yes?”

        Chris grabbed Lance’s arm and straightened it, exposing the vulnerable inside crook of Lance’s elbow.  “Whoa.”

        Lance sighed.  “What?”

        “That is one severe love bite.”

        “Hickey,” Lance said, and pulled his arm back.  “Is that all?”

        “Not nearly,” Chris said.

        “Great.”  Lance left them.

        “Did you see that?” Chris asked Justin.

        “Now that is a professional love bite,” Justin said.  “Nothing half-assed or amateurish about that.”

        “Impressive,” Chris agreed.  “So, who’s freaked out?”

        Justin raised his hand.

        Chris raised his hand.  “It’s unanimous.”

        “I am.”

        “Talk.”

        “I’m a good person.”

        “You’re a great person.  You’re one of my favorite people.”

        “I put Jeff through shit sometimes.”

        “Yeah, but he knew you would before he married you, so he must be okay with it.”

        “Why is he okay with it?”

        “He loves you.”

        “Everyone says I’m arrogant and self-centered.”

        “You are.  Not in a horrible way.  If we like you enough, it starts to get endearing.”

        “Jeff...  Jeff loves me for it,” Nick said, looking at Nick for confirmation.

        “Yes, he does,” Nick agreed.

        “He...  He likes me for who I am.”

        “Yes,” Nick said.  “He likes you for your arrogance, your confidence, your smile, your voice, your self-conscious moments, your pretty blue eyes, your generous heart, and a million things I can’t think of because I don’t know you, no one knows you, as well as he does.”

        “It’s me.  Me being me.”

        “Yes, it’s you,” Nick agreed, not sure where this was going but willing to go along with it.  “You, Nick Timmons-Lachey.  He likes you for you, for being who you are.  He loves you for you.”

        “Drew loves you for you.”

        “He sure does.”

        “He also likes...”

        “What?  Brian?  You?  Pringles?”

        “Your Backstreet side.”

        “Oh, hell, yes.  You should have seen him.  I know my Drew, and I never knew he had it in him.  God damn.  Yes, he loves my Backstreet side.  Damn.  He likes it so much, he must have a secret stash of Backstreet shit somewhere, because no one can be that obsessed and not have posters and a T-shirt or two.  I can’t wait to get him home and sic him on Brian.”

        “In his dresser, bottom drawer,” Nick said.  “And in a box inside a bag in his suitcase.”

        “What?”

        “His secret Backstreet stash.”

        “How do you know?”

        “When we found the stuff in his suitcase, he confessed to having more of it at home.”

        “No one tells me anything!”

        “He doesn’t want you to know.”

        “You’re a very bad brother.  He brings it on tour with him?”

        “Some of it.  His favorite pictures, I think.  He adds stuff along the way.  Justin keeps buying him more, too.”

        “Justin is my new best friend.”

        “He’s my best friend.”

        “He likes me better.”

        “He likes me better,” Nick corrected.

        “You wish.  Everybody likes me better.”

        “Everyone except Brian.”

        “Liar!”

        Nick shrugged.

        “Jerk.  What were we talking about?”

        “Do you think it’s weird that Drew likes you for your Backstreet status?”

        “He doesn’t like me for it.  Maybe he does, but...  He’s in love with me for who I am.  Apparently he thinks I’m love, sex, and young-and-beautiful, but whatever.  He loves me because I’m me, all the good and all the not-so-good.  Part of who I am is a Backstreet Boy.  And I’m not a Backstreet Boy when I’m around him, but maybe because it’s so deep a part of who I am, I’m always a Backstreet Boy no matter what.”

        “But that’s a special case.  You grew up that way.  And Backstreet Boys aren’t like normal people.  Drew’s in 98 Degrees, but it isn’t the same.”

        “Yes and no.”

        “Yes and no?”

        “The Backstreet Boys, we’re an exclusive brotherhood for life.  You can say whatever you want about our music sounding like everybody else’s, but our personalities, our experiences, they’re all our own.  And yeah, we had it more intense faster than the rest of you, and that did something to us.  And yeah, I grew up Street, it’s shaped me like nothing else has.  So Drew’s a member of 98 Degrees, but I’m a Backstreet Boy.  It’s part of my identity.  You don’t know shit about me until you know that about me.”

        “That’s the yes.  What about the no?”

        “It isn’t the same for Drew, but it’s there.  He’s a pop star, he’s faced the flashbulbs.  He’s spent years of his life on tour, onstage.  You do one album, one tour, maybe even two, and it’s a phase of your life.  You do it like you’re doing it, like we’re doing it, and it is your life.  It’s part of Drew, it’s in his blood.  Even if you walk away from it and spend twenty years selling life insurance in a little town in Idaho, if you go down to the local high school and see their half-assed version of a choir, you’ll see those kids onstage and you’ll think, damn, that used to be me, and it could be me again.  98 Degrees isn’t the same as the Backstreet Boys, and it isn’t as intense for Drew as it is for me.  But it’s still there.  He’s still a pop star, and he can work up that presence.”

        “What about me?” Nick asked.

        “Oh, hell, you have it more than Drew does.  You have it more than half of *NSYNC does.  I think it’s because you’re like the front man.  Drew’s practically a back-up singer in comparison to you.”

        “Why?”

        “It’s part of who you are more than it’s a part of who he is.  It’s half how other people see you, and half how you see yourself.  You’re very hot, and you know it, and the screaming girls know it.  You’re talented as shit, and you know it, and they know it.  You’re the man, and you know it, and you walk out onstage like you know it, so they know it, too.  You’re not always in everybody’s face with it, but it’s still there, in you, and that makes it hard to forget.”

        “When you talk to me, you don’t think of me as a famous person.  You think of me as Drew’s idiot older brother.”

        “Yeah, but that’s me.  I think of AJ as my idiot older brother, when half the world is having wild orgasms over how sexy he is.  I think Brian has a slight, slight crush on you that way, as a pop star, which is weird, because I don’t think he thinks of Drew that way.  But, like I said, it’s stronger in you than it is in Drew.  I think it all matters to you more than it matters to Drew.  You think of yourself in terms of all that stuff more than Drew does.”

        “You think of yourself that way?”

        “Not consciously.  But after age what, twelve, thirteen, it’s all I’ve known.  So I kind of have to factor it in, because it’s my life experience.”

        “It’s okay with you that Drew wants you that way?  You don’t think it’s weird?”

        “At first, when I found out, I wasn’t sure what I thought about it, but I wanted take it farther and see what would happen.  After what happened, hell, I love it.  What happened between us that night never happened between us before.  But it doesn’t make me worry.  I don’t think he wouldn’t love me if I stopped being famous.”

        “What if Brian thought about you that way?  He’s your equal.  He watched you rise, and he did it right beside you.”

        “You know, I think Brian does think about me that way.  I think he always has.  Like you and Jeff.”

        “What?”

        “That is what you’re trying to talk about, right?  Jeff wanting pop star Nick Lachey?  He’s always thought of you that way.  When he tells stories about how he met you and he heard your voice and he knew you were the one, he’s not just talking about 98 Degrees.  He’s talking about how he started to fall in love with you from the first day because he knew you were destined to be famous and he wanted to be there to watch it.”

        “What?”

        “Jeff has a big fat hard-on for pop star Nick Lachey.”

        “Why?”

        “You know why.”

        “How do you know all of this?”

        “I pay attention.  Jeff lets me see inside him.  Plus, I was talking to JC, and he told me about how Justin has an insane obsession for JC’s pop star side.  I started thinking, and that’s when I figured out that Drew wants me and Brian for our pop star sides.  It’s a fair guess that Jeff likes you for yours, too.”

        “I don’t think of him that way.”

        “That’s okay.  Fame hasn’t changed Jeff much.”

        “Did you say that Brian wants me for-”

        “Let’s get back to Jeff.”

        “What am I supposed to do?”

        “Tell me how you figured it out.”

        “He told me.  I thought he was making it up, because it sounded ludicrous.  But Jeff doesn’t lie to me - - he exaggerates things he doesn’t mean when we’re fighting, but he doesn’t outright lie like that.  That means it has to be true.  I think he thinks I still think he was lying.”

        “You thought he was lying?  You really had no idea he felt that way?”

        “It’s ridiculous.”

        “It’s also true.  What do you want to do?  Take advantage of it, or pretend you never heard him confess it?”

        “Take advantage of it?” Nick repeated.

        “Turn on pop star mode and fuck him.  Blow his mind.”

        “I wouldn’t know how.”

        “You’re Nick Lachey of 98 Degrees.  Of course you know how.”

        “I’m not sure I want to.  I’d feel ridiculous.”

        Nick gave Nick a long look.  “Okay.  I believe you.  You can wait on that one.  You could pull rank and go for a mini-seduction.  The hot front man screwing his second.”

        Nick blushed.

        “Good.  Try that one.”

        “How?”

        “Nick, you were born for this.  You were built for the confident seduction.”

        “How do I pull rank?”

        “You’re Nick Lachey of 98 Degrees.  He’s a back-up singer.  Let him know it.”

        “He’s not my back-up singer.”

        “You’re ruining this.”

        “Sorry.”

        “I hope Brian’s not this hard to convince when I tell him Drew likes his Street side.”

        “Brian has a crush on me for-”

        “I think he has a slight, slight crush.  Don’t get excited.”

        Nick grinned.

        “Stop gloating!”