Copyright April 2, 2002 by Matthew Haldeman-Time

Rating: NC-17 for graphic male-male sex

Pairings: Thus far we've had JC/Justin, Nick/Drew/Brian, Nick/Jeff, Nick/Drew/Brian/Nick/Jeff, AJ/Lance, AJ/Howie, AJ/Kevin, Chris/Howie, and partridge/pear tree.

Disclaimer: The young men who comprise the Backstreet Boys, *NSYNC, and 98 Degrees are their own people. The author has not met anyone here described, nor does the author mean to suggest that these people act this way in real life. This writing is a work of fiction. I make no money from this venture.

Dedication: This slashfic is for Ewan McGregor and the Savage Garden slashwriters.

Wherein Drew won't go behind Brian's back, AJ can screw anybody he wants, and could JC be mellowing?

Notice: First, read "I Need You Tonight," "Boy Lead the Way to Ecstasy," "Not Easy," "No One," "Rest in Peace," "Destiny," and "Together." I know it sounds like a lot, but it'll only take you an hour or two.

        Lance looked kind of country gay boy goth, not regular goth, but since Lance was a country gay boy, Chris figured that was okay.

        JC and Justin spent all night gazing into each other’s eyes and murmuring sex things into each other’s ears, so obviously they were feeling much better.

        Chris drank too much and let Joey take pictures of him and Brian.  He was not in love with Brian like Joey and Justin and possibly JC were, but he did like how scary Brian was capable of looking.  Brian had a good vampire stare.  Chris was a little afraid of him.

        JC and Justin were going back to the hotel together, of course.  Joey was taking a girl for himself and a guy or two for Lance.  Chris and Brian held hands and sighed, discussing the possibility of founding a loneliness support group together.

        Drew came out of the bathroom and stopped short.

        Nick bounced on the bed, reaching over and dragging Drew closer.  “Look, Drew, it’s Brian Littrell.”

        “Nick-”

        “Wait, he’s about to get a solo.  Wait, wait, ah!  Damn, close-up.  Look at that.”

        Drew had stopped trying to get away.

        “He’s waving hello to you,” Nick said, as Brian gave the camera a smile and a friendly wave mid-verse.

        Drew settled closer to Nick almost automatically, watching the screen.

        “What do you like best, the voice, the eyes, or the ass?”

        “The way he smiles,” Drew said.  “The way his eyes are so serious, and then he turns and teases the camera.”

        “What else?” Nick asked.

        “I like it when he plays with the other guys.  I like it when he out-belts AJ.  I like it when he fists.  I wish he still played the guitar onstage.  I love his sense of humor, I love it.”

        “Did you say when he fists?” Nick asked, sure that couldn’t be what Drew meant.

        “You know, the motion...  He brings his hand up in a fist and sort of pumps it slowly in time with the beat he’s feeling.  If you’re lucky, he uses both hands.”

        “Oh, that!  Patented Brian move.”

        “Yes.”

        “Didn’t think anybody could out-belt AJ, did you?”

        “No,” Drew admitted.  “But Brian does.”

        “You look proud of him.”

        “I am.”

        “What else do you like?”

        “His smile.  His hair, when it gets curly at the ends.  His happiness.  His cheekbones.  His jaw.  The way he always has on more clothes than everyone else onstage.  It’s so hot up there, I thought, he must naturally not have much body heat.  I wanted to keep him warm.”

        Now they were getting to the good stuff.  “You wanted to generate some body heat with Brian Littrell?”

        “Oh, yeah.”  Drewlust.  “I wanted to nuzzle him.  I wanted to eat him up.  I wanted to lick him until, until...forever.  I wanted him to smile at me like that, just at me, for me.”

        “Get back to the licking.”

        “I want him, I want...  He’s so friendly and so good and so simple, all he has to do is walk out and say ‘Hello’ in that happy voice and he owns the whole stage without even trying.  He doesn’t have to be sexy and he doesn’t try to be a rock star but he is.  I keep thinking it has to be wrong to want him this much, it can’t be right to lust after anyone who’s that nice, but every time he says ‘Hello’ to the audience in that polite Kentucky accent I want to nuzzle between his thighs and suck his dick until he hits that note from ‘I’ll Never Break Your Heart.’”

        Wow.  Drew?

        Drew made an aggressive sound of want.

        “I thought Brian wasn’t a real Backstreet Boy like AJ and Kevin are.”

        “Oh, he is.  It’s in there.  That pride.  The arrogance that comes from knowing that there’s a universal demand for him.  He may not display it as openly as AJ and Kevin do, but he has it.  He uses it when he chooses to.  He’s a Backstreet Boy.  Look at him.  They’re all in love with him.  They all know he’s special.”

        They, meaning, the fellas?  The crowd?  Nick wanted to ask, but he didn’t want to interrupt Drew’s flow.  Besides, most of Nick’s brainpower was taken up by running through “I’ll Never Break Your Heart,” trying to decide which note Drew was talking about.

        “A man shouldn’t be that pretty, but he’s pretty.  He’s beautiful.  It isn’t just the cheekbones or just the jaw.  It isn’t good skin and blue eyes.  It’s the sparkle in those eyes, the warmth in his smile, the inner light.  He’s so good and so pure, but there’s a deep hidden streak of Backstreet pride and Backstreet arrogance inside, and it’s so fucking sexy.”

        Nick had never heard Drew swear with that much feeling.  Damn.  Drew had meant that one.

        “I’m in love with him,” Drew said.  “I really love him.  I try to keep it clean, I try to keep it - - but I want him, I really want him, I want his body.  Look at him.  He doesn’t know how sexy he is, he has no idea.  He’s just out there having fun.  He flirts with the crowd because he’s silly.  He thinks he should leave the sexual innuendo to the other Boys.  He has no idea that every time he smiles my dick gets that much harder.”

        Nick took a look.  Wow.  Drew had to have a full erection in there.  Nick slid over behind him and then reached around, unzipping him.  Since Drew was unzipped, Nick might as well reach in and get him out of that underwear, too.  Nick pulled Drew’s cock out, fingers wet with a healthy dose of pre-cum.

        Drew leaned back against Nick’s chest, hand on Nick’s knee.  Nick didn’t know if he gave that sexy gasp because of Nick’s hand on his dick or because Brian had just done that fisting thing.  Probably both.

        Nick wondered if Drew had a secret Street crush on any of the other fellas.  Maybe he shouldn’t ask.

        “I want to kiss him,” Drew said.  “I want to kiss his mouth.  I want to touch his tongue with my tongue.  I want to run my fingers over his cheekbones, over and over again.  I want to frame his jaw with my hands.  I want to make love to him, I want to lick his - - oh, oh, no-”

        Nick wrapped his arm around Drew’s waist to hold Drew still.

        “I love him I want him I love him I want him-” and Drew was coming with a few throaty noises while Brian danced onscreen.

        A minute passed.

        Nick stroked Drew’s hair and gave Drew’s thigh a reassuring pat.

        Drew groaned, curling forward, away from Nick.  “I am embarrassed.”

        Nick rubbed his back.  “I’m turned on.”

        “I’m mortified.”

        “I’m still turned on.”

        “Humiliated.”

        “Nope, still turned on.”

        “You can’t tell him.”

        “Oh, no, I’m telling him,” Nick said.  “You’re lucky I’m not on the phone right now.”

        Drew groaned.

        “No wonder you were so freaking quick to jump into bed with us,” Nick said.

        “I was not.”

        “So freaking quick,” Nick said.  “It went kind of like this: ‘I’m a virgin, I’m a virgin, I’m really nice but you can’t have me, look but don’t touch, I’m a virgin, I’m a - - what?  Nick Carter?  Brian Littrell?  Orgy time!’”

        Drew uncurled, spinning around and smacking Nick’s shoulder.  “Quiet!”

        Nick laughed at him.  “Drew’s a groupie.”

        “I am not!  You can’t tell him.  Ever.  Not today.  Not when we get home.  Not next year.  Never.”

        “Drew, you couldn’t wear enough hats to keep me from telling Brian about this.”

        Drew pushed Nick’s shoulders until Nick was on his back.  He straddled Nick’s hips, glaring down at him.  “You are not telling Brian.”

        “Are you getting dom on me?”

        “You are not telling Brian about this.  Not one word.”

        “Nope, still telling.  It’s too good!  I have to tell!  How should I tell him?  Should I come right out and say it?”

        “Is there another option with you?”

        “No, there’s not.  Coming right out and saying it is my specialty.”

        Drew sighed.  “You’re telling him, aren’t you?”

        “You bet your hot little ass.”

        Drew dropped onto Nick’s chest and groaned some more.

        He couldn’t sleep.  He wanted Howie.  He missed Howie.

        The hotel phone was ringing.  He didn’t want to answer, because it wasn’t Howie, and he only wanted to talk to Howie.  But it could be Brian, wanting to trade the room beside JC and Justin for the room between Lance and Joey.  That was an offer worth considering, depending on how far into the marathon JC and Justin were.

        “Hello?”

        “Hi, Chris.”

        “If I’m hearing Howie Dorough’s voice, I am going to quack like a duck.”

        “You’re hearing Howie Dorough’s voice.”

        “Well, quack me.  Howard.  My love.  You’ve called me.”

        “Yes, Christopher, my love, I have called you.”

        “God, I wish you were here.”

        “How are you?”

        “Happier already.  And happy in general.  Things are better.  Psy and Chotic are doing great.  They’re in one of those lovey-dovey phases.  Not one of the scarily intense lovey-dovey phases, just a regular deep in love I can’t believe this miracle lovey-dovey phase.”

        “That’s great.  I hope it lasts.  They’re too good together to keep hurting each other.”

        “I’m coming home soon.”

        “I know.  I’m looking forward to it.”

        “You know how we discussed the tattoo craze?”

        “Yes.”

        “You know how we agreed that between the fourteen of us, we have about six tattoos apiece, and that’s way too many, so we should smack each other silly if one of us ever tries to get another tattoo?”

        “Yes.”

        “Justin got a new tattoo, and I think since he got one I can get one, too.”

        “If Justin jumped headfirst off of a cliff, would you do it, too?”

        “No.  Come on, please?”

        “Chris, it’s your body.  You can do what you want.”

        “That means no.”

        “Is it a really good tattoo?”

        “Yes.”

        “Really, really good?  Vitally important?  Fundamental to your identity?  Something that will still look great and be relevant in another forty years?”

        “Yes.”

        “How big is it?”

        “Pretty small, especially compared to the other stuff I have.  Please, Howie?  Pretty please?”

        “Where are you going to put it?”

        “Somewhere.”

        “Somewhere people walking down the street will see, somewhere people on the beach will see, or somewhere only I should be able to see?”

        “One of those.  Is it a nudist beach?”

        “Chris.”

        “I’m not telling you what it is.”

        “I didn’t ask what it is.”

        “I’m not telling you.”

        “That’s fine.”

        “I’m getting it and you can’t stop me so na na na na na.”

        “Okay.”

        “You won’t be mad?”

        “Unless it says ‘Howie D. is a big fat jerk,’ I can’t see how it would change how I feel about you.”

        “Meaning...”

        “Meaning go ahead and get it, if that’s what you want.  You’re an adult.  It’s your body.  You have every right to decorate every last inch of your skin with permanent graffiti.”

        “I’m older than you are.”

        “Yes, you are.  And remarkably more mature.”

        “You know it.”

        “I love you.”

        Well, that just whomped Chris right upside the head.  He tried to recover.  “Even if you don’t like the tattoo, you’ll still let me get laid when I get home, right?”

        “Yes.”

        “That sounded kind of enthusiastic,” Chris said.

        “It was.”

        “You’re kind of horny.”

        “Yes.”

        “What are you like when you’re horny?”

        “Noticeably less romantic.”

        “Less slow and gentle?  More greedy and grabby?”

        “Yes.”

        “I love it when you’re not the perfect gentleman.  Horndog Howard is one of my favorites.”

        “What else do you like?”

        “Wait, wait.  I, uh, wait.”

        “What is it?”

        “My dick is hard.”

        “Good.”

        “Howie!”

        “So’s mine.”

        “Howie!”

        “Keep talking.”

        “Now I don’t know what to say.”

        “Start by telling me what you’re wearing.”

        “My lover is a pervert.”

        “Chris.”

        “What now?”

        “If you don’t want to tell me what you’re wearing, strip.  That way, you won’t have to say anything.”

        “Big old pervert!  I’m not getting naked for you.  Pervert.  You can strip, though, if you want.  If you feel like it.  You know.  If that’s your thing.”

        “I wish you were here to help me.  I’ll have to undress myself.”

        “Okay.  Go ahead.  You do that,” Chris said.

        “I’m finished.”

        “That was quick.  What were you wearing?”

        “Underwear.”

        “That’s it?  What are you doing?” Chris asked.

        “I’m in bed.”

        “You’re in - - you got in bed and then called me?”

        “Yes.”

        “That’s striking me as sexy and now my dick’s harder and you’re naked and Howie, if you’re naked in bed can I climb in there with you?”

        “Any time you want.  You have an open invitation to share my bed.”

        “My new official title is ‘Luckiest Man Alive.’”

        “You’re a groupie.”

        “I’m not a groupie.”

        “Drew Lachey: Backstreet Boys groupie.”

        “If I’m married to Brian, and I am, then I can’t be his groupie.”

        “You’re his groupie.  You’re my groupie, too.  I’m not asking whether you’re an AJ groupie or not, because that’s a can of worms I don’t want to open.”

        “I’m not an AJ groupie.”

        “Don’t ask, don’t tell.  How did Justin know?”

        “How did Justin know what?”

        “He gave you the magazine.  How did he know it would help?”

        “We’re not supposed to say anything, but he’s one of the former members of the Psychic Friends Network.  He’s the one psychic who predicted the downfall of the Psychic Friends, and-”

        “Drew, shut up.”

        “You asked.”

        “When you were talking about how deeply obsessed you are with Brian, you switched from past tense to present tense pretty damned fast.  I’m guessing that means you still feel that way, and it’s not all a crush from years ago.”

        “Nick-”

        “What’s your favorite video?”

        “I haven’t seen any of your videos.”

        “Now you’re lying to me.”

        “I don’t like any of your videos.”

        “Now you’re being mean to me.  I’m going to guess.  I think it’s ‘Quit Playing Games,’ because of the wet thing I know you like.  Plus in that one I’m still jailbait, which I know turns everybody on.”

        “Slightly.”

        “Right.”

        “I love you,” Drew said.

        “That’s good to know.”

        “Can we have sex and not talk about this?”

        “No.”

        “Can we sit in silence and not talk about this?”

        “No.”

        “Can we do anything else but talk about this?”

        “No.  We’re talking about this.”

        “Nick, it’s embarrassing and immature.”

        “Drew, I get it.  I know you married Brian because of that look he gets in his eyes when you’re inside him and he says your name, not because he’s a famous pop star.  I’m devoting my life to helping you develop each layer of your very deeply layered sexuality, and I just uncovered a huge kink.  I’m going to make sure you get to play with this one.”

        “I don’t want to play with this one.  Let’s bury it again.”

        “No.  Bad Drew.”

        “I already had sex with Street Nick.  That’s enough.  I don’t have to have Street Brian, too.”

        “Yes, you do.”

        “Why?”

        “Drew’s whining and it’s cute,” Nick cooed, petting him.  “I want to make sure you get to live out all of your sexual fantasies.  Drew, you zoned immediately and pretty damned hard over a picture of Brian, so intensely you unzoned yourself.  That’s huge.”

        “It doesn’t...  You don’t...  It’s Brian.”

        “Let’s talk about this.”

        “You’ve always wanted to avoid talking about things that are too personal or cut too close to something.  It’s my turn.  I don’t want to talk about this.”

        “Drew, we’re alone.  It’s just us.  You can talk to me about anything.  You’re my Drew.  It’s my job to take care of you.  You’ve always talked to me about anything.  You know you can.”

        “I know.”

        “That’s what I want to talk about.  You trusting me.  Since I got here, you’ve been going through one sexual experience after another.  You’ve been taking chances and doing new things.  Why now?”

        “Because you’re here with me.”

        “And Brian’s not.”

        “Well...”

        “It’s easier for you to open up with me.  You can experiment with me because you trust in what we have together.  What’s wrong with Brian?  You don’t like him?”

        “I love Brian.”

        “You don’t trust him?”

        “Of course I trust him.”

        “You just don’t want to have hot dirty sex with him.”

        “No, I don’t.  I think that we should stick to holding hands in the moonlight.”

        “Be serious.”

        “Can’t I just have hot dirty sex with you, and have polite clean sex with Brian?”

        “Drew, that’s not fair.  He wants to have hot dirty sex with you, too.  Why am I the only one that gets Drewkink?”

        “Drewkink?”

        “That’s what I said.  Answer the question.”

        “Brian’s...  You’ve shown me your sexual side.  You’re very open about it.  You let me play with it.”

        “I know where this is going.  I’m the sex one, Brian’s the wholesome religious one.  I’m easy to talk to and easy to play with, and Brian’s the one who gets polite handshakes even though he’s a nasty freak.”

        “He is not a nasty freak.”

        “Nobody believes me!  I explained this to you before, Drew.  More than once.  Listen to me!  No one ever listens to me.  And that sucks, because I’m always right.  Brian is a nasty freak.  Brian wants to touch you in dirty naughty places until you beg him to fuck you.  Brian wants to fuck your ass with his tongue until you come from it.  Brian wants to take you on places a lot more exotic than our kitchen table.  And in the heat of the moment, there’s nothing he won’t do.  Why do you think I have handcuffs in my suitcase?  Why do you think I learned to talk like I’m reading a bad gay porn script?  But oh, that’s right, Brian’s a good boy and an upstanding citizen.”

        “I know he’s...  I know he’s sexual.  But he’s so civilized...”

        Nick rubbed up Drew’s naked chest.  “Come on, Drew angel, you know he’s hot for you.  He only ever says no to me when you’re around.  You only ever hide and pull back when he’s around.  I know the way you are for real, and I know the way he is for real, too.  I’m the only one, and that sucks.  I want you two to share with each other.  I want to see how hot it gets when he drops the facade and you come out of your tidy little closet.”

        “I don’t know how to be with him the way I am with you.”

        “It’s easy,” Nick said.

        “Nick.”  Drew pushed himself up and turned, facing Nick now, chest-to-chest.  He looked into Nick’s eyes.  “I want to be Brian for you.”

        “What do you mean?”

        “I want...  I want you to give yourself to me the way you give yourself to Brian.”

        “I do,” Nick said.

        “No, it’s different.”

        “No, it’s not,” Nick said.

        “It is.  I felt it, when we called him and you knew he was there and I kissed you.  The way you responded, the way you were offering yourself to me...  I want to feel that.”

        “Really?  It’s different?  Oh, I get it.  Because you’re my Drew, and I’m his Brian.”

        “Yes.”

        “He’d give himself to you like that if you’d ask him to.  It’s what he wants.”

        “Nick...”

        “Here.  Practice on me.”

        “How?”

        “You’re not very good at this.”

        Drew pinched Nick’s side.

        “Ow.  Never mind.  You don’t get to practice on me.  I wonder if it’s different for Brian.”

        “If what’s different for Brian?”

        “You want to know what it’s like to get to own me like he does.  I wonder if he wants to know what it’s like to be owned by me the way you are.”

        “Oh.  I never thought about it.  Do you make love to me differently than you make love to him?”

        “Maybe I do.”  Nick grinned.  “Here, let me fuck you, and we’ll see.  Roll over.”

        Drew laughed.  “You wish.”

        “You like the way I give myself to Brian?” Nick asked.

        “Yes.”

        “Why?”

        “It’s complete surrender.  You give up everything.  You give him everything.  It’s a very generous capitulation.”

        “Capitulation,” Nick repeated, thinking about it.

        Drew opened his mouth.

        “Yes, I know what that means,” Nick said.

        “Okay,” Drew said, backing off.

        “A very generous capitulation.  But that’s the way it should be.  Brian can have anything he wants.  I’ll give him everything I have.  It’s his to take.”

        “Even you.  Your self.  Your soul.”

        “Yes,” Nick said.

        “You’re so open about it, so free,” Drew said, wondering.

        “Because it’s true,” Nick said.

        “I know how that feels,” Drew said.  “I know what that’s like.”

        “What what’s like?” Nick asked softly, feeling something rising within Drew, wanting Drew to let it out.

        “To want to give everything to someone.  To want him to know that it’s his for the taking.”

        Nick knew Drew’s heart was pounding.  He wanted to let Drew know that it was okay, but Drew had to go through it first.

        “Everything I have, everything I am, it’s only mine for this moment.  It’s his, it’s all his.  It’s all for him.  My life, my experiences and my dreams and my heart and my soul and my body, I’d give them to him if he’d only take them.  And when he does take them, when he touches me and I give him all that I have, I’m free.”

        Free.  Nick was amazed by the honesty in Drew’s eyes.

        “Every day I only wish I could do more, be more, so that I could give him more.  And when I do give to him, I know it’s not enough.  I don’t give enough of myself.  I’m tied down and trapped and hidden.  I won’t let myself go, I won’t give myself to him completely the way I want to in my heart, the way I know he deserves.  It’s frustrating and it’s painful, and I know he deserves better, but I’m afraid.  I’m afraid to give him everything, truly everything, no holding back.”

        “Why are you afraid?” Nick asked.

        “I’m afraid everything I am won’t be enough.  I’m afraid he’ll want more and I won’t have anything else to give.  And I’m afraid that if I give him everything, I won’t have anything.”

        “Who is he?” Nick asked.  “Who are you trying to give everything you are?”

        “You,” Drew said, and one tear fell.  “You.”  Two tears, three.

        “Say it,” Nick said.  “Tell me.  Don’t hold it back, you can tell me.”

        “I love you, Nick, I love you and I want to give you everything I can, I want to give you everything I have, all of me, every last part, because you’re beautiful and I love you and I can never give you enough.  You call me your Drew because I am yours, because you own me, because you’re...”

        “I’m your what?” Nick asked.

        “You’re my world, you’re my everything.  You’re so beautiful and you’re so important to me that when I think about you it hurts inside, but it’s a good hurt.”

        “Drew.”  Nick pulled him in and held him tight, squeezing a little, wrapping Drew up.  “You really are my angel.  I love you every minute of every day, Drew.  You don’t have to give me everything, you can give me whatever you’re comfortable giving at the moment.  They’re donations, not bills with monthly interest adding up.  I know you’re my Drew because you do give yourself to me.  Sometimes I think I know you more than anyone else does, and I know there are layers only I get to see.  I keep pushing you to be more open because I know there are things in there that want to come out.  There are parts of you that are dying in there, and they’re fighting with their last breath to be out here exposed.  Let them out, Drew.  Let me see them.  I can help you.  Brian can help you.  It doesn’t all have to stay trapped forever.”

        “I know,” Drew said, “I know.”

        “Now I have Drew crying and sobbing all over me, and no Brian around to fix it.”  Nick rubbed Drew’s back.  “And you can’t do the ‘I’m not crying’ thing, because you’re definitely crying.  That’s okay.  Even butch guys cry.  I bet Nick cries in front of Jeff.  I wonder if Jeff ever cries.  I can’t picture it.”

        “Yes,” Drew said, sniffling.

        “Do you have a tissue?”

        Drew wiped his nose on Nick’s shirt.

        “Drew!  Drew, you are disgusting!”  Nick pushed Drew aside, sitting up and taking off his shirt.  “Gross.  You can keep it.”

        “Thanks.”  Drew blew his nose and tossed Nick’s shirt to the floor.  “You were saying?”

        Nick muttered, wiping Drew’s tears with the bedsheet.  “Gross little disgusting...”

        “Yes?”

        “Does Jeff ever cry?”

        “Yes.”

        “When?”

        “I know I’ve seen it.  Let me think.”

        Nick waited.  “I still can’t believe you blew your nose on my shirt.”

        “Okay.”  Drew kept thinking.  “I know he cried when we got shot.”

        Nick closed his eyes.

        “Oh...”  Drew hugged Nick and kissed his cheek.  He felt Nick’s arms wrap around him tightly.  “It’s okay.”

        Nick held on.

        “It’s okay,” Drew said again.  “I’m here with you.  I’m fine.  I’m healthy and I’m yours.”

        “Mine,” Nick said, tightening his embrace.

        “Now it’s getting hard to breathe,” Drew said.

        Nick didn’t let go.

        “I’ve almost never seen Jeff cry.  But I don’t think he’s seen me cry too often, either.  I only cry when I’m with you and Brian.  I wonder if Jeff cries when he’s alone with Nick.  Probably not.  I bet they just arm wrestle and slap each other on the back and measure their biceps.  Instead of kissing they give each other noogies.”

        Nick relaxed his hold.  “Nick’s pretty butch for a bottom boy.”

        “Yes, he is,” Drew agreed.  “Do you think I have a cocksucker’s mouth?  Nick!”  Drew tried to defend himself as Nick started to pull down his jeans.  “What are you doing?”

        “Making sure it’s really you.”

        “Oh my - - holy - - Nick!”  Drew smacked Nick’s arm.  “Stop!  You can’t check for identity by doing that!”

        “Yes, I can.  Your big hot dick could be duplicated, but nobody else’s ass will ever feel like that.  When I put my finger in, just one finger, you do this quick adjusting fluttering thing that feels like-”

        “Well, that’s great.  Instead of handing over my driver’s license or passport to prove my identity, I’ll just drop my pants and invite people to stick their fingers up my butt and check for a flutter.”

        “Everybody feels different,” Nick said.  “You know how when you first touch Brian he draws up really tight and clamps down and snaps shut and you’re just in there, trapped in overwhelming tight heat and it’s almost like it hurts but you just start throbbing all over.”

        Drew pulled his pants back up to cover his thickening arousal.

        “What do I feel like?” Nick asked.

        “Ask Brian.”

        “You can tell me.”

        “I’m not as good at these things.”

        “Ask me that crazy question again.”

        “Do I have a cocksucker’s mouth?”

        “Show me the dimples.”

        Drew smiled.

        “Okay.  It’s really you.  Why are you asking me this crazy question?”

        “Nick and Jeff were arguing about something, and Jeff walked away smirking, and Nick started muttering, and I caught some of it.  Then he and I started talking, and it turns out...  Jeff thinks Nick has a cocksucking mouth, and I know everyone thinks I’m mini-Nick, so I wondered.  Do you think I have a cocksucking mouth?”

        “You aren’t allowed to use that word.”

        “Sorry.”

        “Yes, I think you do, but I’m biased.  Ask Joey.”

        “I’m not asking Joey.”

        “Nick does have a cocksucking mouth.  I think I told him that myself.”

        “Why am I not surprised?”

        “Justin Timberlake Chasez looks like he might have one, but don’t let it fool you.  He’s a head-licker.”

        “What?”

        “You’d probably like it, though, since you go for that stuff.  Me, I like-”

        “Nick, what are you talking about?  Why are we talking about Justin Timberlake Chasez’s blowjob technique?”

        “You can’t say that word, either.”

        “Sorry.”

        “Justin’s a head-licker.”

        “So you said.  Is that what it sounds like?”

        “Yep.  Here.  Like this.”  Nick tugged Drew’s pants down again, exposing his arousal, and gave teasing, tantalizing licks around the head.  “Now you, you’re so sensitive that could do it, but it’s fucking unsatisfying for the rest of us.  That’s schoolgirl shit.  Now Nick, he has a serious mouth and serious technique.  I don’t know anybody else who looks like they’ll deliver, and can.  Why are you breathing funny?”

        “You,” Drew said.

        “What about me?”

        “You have a cocksucker’s mouth.”

        “No, I don’t.”

        “Yes, you do.”

        “No, I don’t.”

        “Yes, you do.  You have an aura of sexuality, and your mouth is so inviting, it’s pink and it’s soft and it’s wide and your tongue, and your teeth-”

        “I have an aura of sexuality?”

        “Yes.  Nick, please.”

        “God, I love it when you say that.  Say it again.”

        “Nick, please.”

        “I love it when you ask for it.  It’s like begging.  With manners.”

        Drew gasped when Nick spread his thighs with one expert hand.  “Please, Nick.”  Nick’s hand moved back, cupping his balls before moving on, and when Nick’s finger began a gentle probe Drew dropped onto his back with a shocked moan.  “Oh, Nick, please.”  Drew’s foot rubbed back and forth over the mattress, restless and anxious.  “Please, Nick, please.”

        “Say it right,” Nick urged him.  “Where’s the lube?”

        “Oh, Nick...”

        Nick pulled the covers over his head.

        Jeff ducked under the covers with him, wrapping an arm around his waist.  “It’ll be over soon.”

        “They’re just getting started,” Nick said.

        “Maybe they’ll be quick this time.”

        Nick rested his forehead against Jeff’s.

        Jeff’s hand made a slow path up Nick’s spine, then down again.

        “It’s all day, every day.  Every hotel, always on the bus, in unexpected corners.  They won’t stop.”

        “We’re not much better.”

        “That’s different.”

        “In what way?”

        Nick struggled.  “Because...it’s...because...  Because I don’t like it when they do it.”

        Jeff smiled.  “Good for you.  That was an honest answer.”

        “I can’t blame it on them.  They’re not doing anything wrong.”

        “No, they’re not.  But it’s different.  Drew’s never had a sex life on tour before.”

        “He gets laid more often than anyone I know.  He gets laid more often than I do!”

        Jeff laughed.  “Do you want me to do something about that?”  His hand slipped down to Nick’s ass.

        “No, no,” Nick said.  “I can’t have sex while I can hear them.  It’s disturbing.”

        “Are you sure?” Jeff asked, and kissed him.

        Nick kissed back.  Oh...  Mmm...  Maybe that wasn’t such a bad idea after all...

        Nick stopped, buried deep, and Drew groaned, shuddering, wanting it to move again, wanting it to stay where it was forever so he could always feel like this.  But the torture of it, so good and so unbearable, so promising and so unsatisfying, made him try to move against it, made him try to work on it.

        Nick leaned in close and kissed him.  The press of Nick’s mouth, the slick fuck of Nick’s tongue, made Drew reach out, grabbing and holding on, keeping Nick there.  His right hand clutched across Nick’s back while his left hand pulled Nick’s hair.  He kissed Nick back, demanding from Nick’s mouth the satisfaction he’d almost received from Nick’s body.

        “Drew,” Nick said, kissing him again, barely giving him pause for breath.  “Drew.”

        Drew groaned with the shock of pleasure as Nick went on the move again, rocking back before rocking forward into him, picking up the steady rhythm.  He moaned, eyes closing, head dropping back, focusing on the erotic tension Nick built in his body.  He felt Nick’s mouth on his neck, kissing upward, and he wanted to say Nick’s name but another wave of pleasure crested and he couldn’t remember how to form the sound.  Nick found the corner of his jaw and started sucking, and Drew ran his hand over Nick’s hair, digging his heel into the mattress, gasping and then crying out as Nick’s hips exploited a new angle.

        There was more after that, the constant drive of Nick’s cock, the heat and motion of Nick’s body.  Nick started talking, and the hot stream of sex in Drew’s ears burned carnal fires in his blood.  He came so early that after Nick was through he was hard and wanting again, and Nick’s mouth on his throbbing dick made him so excited with the promise of satisfaction that he bucked, fucking into Nick’s mouth, and the suction was so good he almost passed out when he came.  Nick’s hands on his body, Nick’s mouth on his flesh, felt too good and flared heat where he already burned too hot.  He couldn’t take any more, but he’d rather die than stop, and he could hear himself saying yes, yes, yes.  Nick was asking him yes what, but he didn’t know, he only knew that he wanted more, it was too good and he couldn’t take it but he had to have more.  Then Nick was in him again and that was exactly what he’d wanted, just what he’d been asking for, how had Nick known?  Nick was making love to him, and it was slow, and it was intimate, and this was love.

        Pounding.

        Drew opened his eyes.  Hm.  Oh, right.  Yeah.  He flexed, and he yawned, and he tried to remember what had bothered him.  Nick was asleep on him, heavy warm body spread over him like a quilt.  He ruffled Nick’s hair, and then he kissed it.

        “Mmm.”  Nick shifted.

        Thump.

        That was it!  That was - - oh.

        “Oh, Jeff...”

        Nick snickered.

        Drew sighed.  Terrific.  Another night of The Nick and Jeff Show.

        A rich groan from the room next door.

        Did they have to go through this every night?  Did they have to be that loud?  Could they have shorter sex?  Could they stop sounding like a wrestling match dubbed with the ad-libs from a porn soundtrack?

        Thump.

        Nick snickered again.

        “Go back to sleep,” Drew said.

        “They’re my favorite radio program,” Nick said.

        “Stop listening.”

        “I can’t.  They’re too loud.”

        “Go to sleep.”

        “Are we rude for listening, or are they rude for being that loud?” Nick asked.

        “They’re rude, and we’re not listening.”

        “Hey, be glad we’re not on *NSYNC’s tour.  JC and Justin sound like Wild Animal Kingdom.”

        “Nick and Jeff sound like an X-rated WWF.”

        “What are they doing, falling off of the bed?” Nick asked.

        “Sometimes.”

        “I couldn’t do it.  I’d break something.  I know I’d break Brian.  That’d kill the mood.”

        “As long as you’re awake, could you reposition yourself so you’re not squashing me?”

        “Okay.”  Nick moved to the side and got comfortable.

        Drew missed Nick’s body heat as soon as it was gone.  He rolled closer.

        Nick chuckled and wrapped him up in personal warmth.

        “Stop smirking,” Drew said, not having to look to know.  He slowly rubbed Nick’s thigh, getting cosy, thinking vaguely of sleep.

        “They’re quiet,” Nick said.

        “Good,” Drew murmured.  He yawned.

        Suddenly, they heard Nick next door in the throes of ecstasy.  “Oh...oh...”

        Nick laughed.

        Drew grumbled.

        “Oh...oh my...oh...Jeff...”

        “What’s he doing?” Nick asked.

        “I do not want to know,” Drew said.

        “We only have two choices, blowing him or fucking him.”

        “Nick,” Drew said.

        “Oh, god...more...more...”

        “Fucking him,” Nick decided.  “But it doesn’t sound right.”

        “We are not talking about this,” Drew said.

        “Yes, yes...ooohhh...oh more, more, please...”

        “Oh my god,” Nick said.  “He’s fisting him.  Holy shit!”

        Drew closed his eyes and hid his face in Nick’s chest.  “This is not happening.”

        “Holy shit,” Nick repeated.

        “You don’t know that for sure,” Drew said.

        “No, I know,” Nick said.  “Damn.  I’m so fucking impressed.”

        “I’m so fu-”

        “Bad Drew.”

        “Sorry.”

        “Brian tried to fist me in...some city, where were we...  It’s so freaking intense, it’s too much.  I couldn’t take it.  I needed you there to ground me.  I don’t know how they do it.”

        “What happened?”

        “He got to four fingers and I started hyperventilating.  I couldn’t take it but I was trying to tell him I could because I wanted him to keep going, but he backed down to three.”

        “And?”

        “Then I started crying, so he stopped and licked up my tears and soothed me down and kissed me.  Then he made love to me.  Then he took off the handcuffs.”

        “What?”

        “What?”

        “You said ‘handcuffs.’”

        “Yes, I did.”

        “You were not in handcuffs.”

        “Yes, I was.”

        “Brian would not chain you to the bed and then...and then fist you.”

        “It took me a while to talk him into it.  He kept trying to tell me no.”

        “The Brian I know and love-”

        “Is a big pervert.  I think your brother’s having an orgasm.”

        Drew put his hands over his ears.

        “I really want to applaud.  They’re professionals.  Encore, encore!  Ow!  Hey, no pinching.”

        “Go to sleep.”

        “The funny thing is, as upset as you are about hearing them, you know they can hear us.”

        “What?”

        “If we can hear them screwing, they can hear us screwing.”

        “We’re not that loud.”

        “Sometimes we are.”

        “No, we’re not.”

        “Depending on the hotel, and the walls, and where the beds are, the fellas heard me and Brian a lot.  And we heard them and their girls.  So I know that when we can hear Nick and Jeff, they can hear us.”

        “We’re not loud enough.”

        “You’re louder than you used to be, and I know I’m not quiet.”

        “They can hear us?”

        “Let’s ask them.”

        “No!”

        “Scandalized Drew.”

        “Yes!”

        “You really didn’t think about that?”

        “No!”

        “Don’t worry about it.  You’ve put up with them and their sex marathons for years.  Now it’s their turn to listen to you.  It’s only fair.”

        Drew thought about that.

        “You had to listen to their wild butch sex life all this time, all alone.  Now you’re finally getting some!  You should be proud.  If they don’t like it, they can bite you.”

        “You may have a point.”

        “I do.  No worrying, no guilt.  Now go to sleep.  You have work tomorrow.”

        Drew kissed Nick’s chest.

        “They are pretty fucking impressive.”

        Drew pinched Nick’s ass.

        “Okay!  Okay.  Good night.”

        JC wasn’t even a regular person anymore.  He was part of a couple.  He was a half of one unit.

        Brian was the same way.  Chris had seem him getting food off of one of these tables.  Howie had been standing behind him, and Howie had gently started to remove food from Brian’s plate as Brian picked it up.  Brian had laughed, realizing that he was automatically getting food for himself and Nick; and sadness had gathered for a moment in Brian’s eyes, because Nick wasn’t there.

        It was probably good that Howie had been here.  Not just for Chris, but for Brian.  Chris had caught them in serious Backstreet bonding moments.  Chris didn’t get to see Howie around the other Boys much, but now that he’d seen Howie and Brian together, he had to admit that they were pretty damned fucking close.  Howie and Brian had looked so comfortable with each other, communicating in a word, a look, completely at ease in taking each other for granted, sitting together in casual conversation like they were just two guys talking but then their eyes would meet and a world would pass between them...  If Chris hadn’t known better, he would have said that they were deeply devoted, long-time lovers.

        He hadn’t expected to see that with Brian and Howie.  But apparently, the Boys really were the tightly bonded group of five men in one unit that *NSYNC was, only in a different way.

        It made Chris both more and less nervous about Howie and AJ’s friendship.  More, because it gave him more insight into how close Howie and AJ truly were, and he didn’t want Howie to be that extremely close to any former lovers, especially since Howie and AJ were going to be together for the forseeable future.  It also made him less nervous, because if Howie and AJ were that close, ending up in bed together wasn’t that much of a leap, so Howie’s transgression was more of a step down the wrong path than a giant pole vault.

        “Hey,” JC said, giving him a gentle elbow nudge.

        “Sorry,” Chris said.  “I was deep in Howie thoughts.”

        “How’s he doing?” JC asked.

        “He misses me,” Chris said, and gave JC a big smile.  Howie missed him.  Dance, dance, dance.

        JC smiled back.  “Good for you, man.”

        Chris remembered why he was here.  “I have a question for you.  You’re around Justin all day every day all year every year.”

        “Yes, I am.”

        “He’s always around.  Constantly.  Do you ever just sit and think about him?”

        “Yes.”

        “How often?”

        “All of the time.”

        “But he’s around all of the time.”

        “I think about him whether he’s near me or not.  I think about him when we’re together and when we’re not.”

        “So you sit there with him right beside you, and you’re thinking about him.”

        “Yes.”

        “Thinking about what?”

        “How perfect he is.  The way he looks.  What I can do for him.  I anticipate what his next need might be.”  JC glanced around; his voice and his eyes lowered for privacy.  “And I think about how much I want him.”

        “You don’t have to think about that.  You can just do it.”

        “Not all of the time,” JC said.  “And sometimes I want him to be the aggressor.”

        “He is.  I’ve seen him dragging you off somewhere to...do whatever it is he does.”

        “When I say his name, sometimes it triggers what’s submissive in him, and sometimes it triggers what’s aggressive in him.  When I say his name and he comes to me, depending on what he heard in my voice, he’ll approach me in a different way.”

        “Depending on what he heard in your voice?  You mean you can say his name in a certain tone of voice and he’ll already know what you want and do it?”

        “I don’t do it consciously.”

        “Can you?”

        “I think so.”

        “Go ahead.”

        “Not now.”

        “If you call his name and you’re right, he’ll come running ready to do whatever sex position is in your head.  If you call his name and you’re wrong, he’ll come running anyway, just because you said his name, and then you can get him to take that plate off your hands.  Win-win.”

        JC thought about it.

        Around the corner and down the hallway, Joey and Justin were waiting for the hair stylist to come back.  Brian was in the corner, on the phone with Kevin.

        “Don’t forget about that bet,” Joey said.

        “Which one?” Justin asked.  “The one about whether Brian-”

        “Not that one,” Joey said quickly, casting a nervous glance in Brian’s direction.  Brian hadn’t been listening.  Good.  “The one about you running like an obedient dog every time JC calls your name.”

        “Ten bucks?” Justin asked.

        “Ten bucks,” Joey confirmed.

        “I’ll put it in my new shoe fund,” Justin said.

        “You really think you’re going to win?” Joey asked.

        “All I have to do is not go running when JC calls,” Justin said.  “It’s easy to ignore JC.”

        True.

        “When do you want to start?”

        “Now’s good,” Joey said.  “You’ve been out of JC’s sight for too long already.  He’ll be calling for you any minute.”

        “You’re on,” Justin said.

        Lance walked in.  “I look like I’m about to go rope some cattle.”

        “Nice shirt,” Justin said.  “Does it come with a lasso?”

        “Nice spurs,” Joey said.

        “Joke now.  You should see what you have to wear,” Lance said, and went out again.

        “Should we be afraid?” Justin asked.

        “Justin!” JC called.

        Justin hesitated.  He took one step for the door, then put one hand on the counter for support.  Joey watched in somewhat disturbed fascination.  Justin really was struggling.  He found it difficult not to run at JC’s call.

        “He wants me,” Justin said, head lowered, voice soft.

        Wanted him, wanted him?  For sex?  “How do you know?”

        “He wants me to come and take him,” Justin said.  His grip tightened.  “I want to go and take him.”

        “No, you want these lazy-ass people to get their acts together so we can do this shoot,” Joey said.

        Justin closed his eyes, fought it, and lost.  “Fuck it.  I owe you ten dollars.”  Justin hurried out the door.

        Damn.  JC’s hold over Justin was no joke.  And how did Justin know what JC wanted?  By the sound of JC’s voice?  Through some mind meld?

        Brian was off the phone and perched on a chair.  “You and Justin are betting on me?”

        Joey scratched his beard and wondered how he was going to get out of this one.

        Justin went straight to JC.  He walked up closer than was strictly necessary and put his hand on JC’s back, perilously close to JC’s ass.  “Did you want something?”

        “Justin,” JC said, and Justin watched the desire build in JC’s eyes.

        Justin took the plate from JC’s hand and gave it to Chris.  “Dressing room,” he said, and led the way.  Everyone was accounted for, so it should have been empty.  It was.  He pulled JC in and locked the door.  Without turning on the light, he unbuttoned JC’s fly, unzipping, pushing JC’s jeans and underwear down.  A quick flare of awareness when they were palm-to-palm as JC handed him the lube, and then he turned JC around, kneeing apart JC’s thighs.

        Justin dropped his own pants, then opened the lube.  Chest against JC’s back, finger slick, he rubbed against JC’s tight asshole and felt JC shiver.  His teeth found the tie of JC’s necklace at the back of JC’s neck, and he chewed on it gently while his finger worked its way inside JC.  JC reached back and put a hand on Justin’s ass.  Justin slapped JC’s arm down and fucked him with two fingers to remind him who was in charge here.  JC pushed his ass back towards Justin, panting quickly.

        JC wanted it?  JC could have it.  Justin twisted his fingers out and slicked up his dick, taking it in hand and rubbing the head against JC’s asshole.  JC gave a quick, soft moan and spread his thighs, pushing down against it.  Justin held still and patted JC’s thigh; JC moaned a little louder now and went for it, pushing his hips back until the head popped in.  A real groan this time, and JC stopped, and Justin wanted to fuck him raw so he’d never take it this slow again.  JC panted out wordless need and eased on another inch, and Justin’s dick throbbed in the contracting heat.  One more inch and JC stopped again, and Justin heard the soft slap of skin to skin as JC started jacking himself.

        Hell, no.

        Justin thrust in the whole way, taking over, slamming himself as deep as he could.  JC cried out and Justin fucked him for it, in in in, hips rocking back fast before snapping forward hard, making JC take all of him at once, one searing stroke after another.

        Justin reached in front of JC, smacking JC’s hand aside, claiming JC’s dick for his own.  He was on the verge of orgasm himself, and he wasn’t going to let JC hold it in this time.  He adjusted his grip just a shade too tight, exhaling hot breath over the back of JC’s ear.  Then he started tight fast strokes over JC’s erection, pumping his dick too hard in JC’s ass, whispering “Justin Justin Justin” into JC’s ear.

        Hot confusion over Justin’s assault, overwhelmed clawing at the wall, hips snapping back to meet the force of Justin’s thrust, shocked sexual noises and a soft cry of Justin’s name, and JC came, wetting his chest, Justin’s hand, and the wall.

        Justin put his weight into his feet, braced his hands on the wall, and settled into a fast raw fucking of JC’s ass.  JC’s pleasure was no longer his concern.  He was taking JC’s body for his own, using it for his lusts.  He could feel his orgasm trying to rip through him but he smacked it down, intent on fucking.  The hot clutch of JC’s ass, the controlled violence of his repeated thrusts, the tight fullness of his balls, the wanting ache of his dick, the way the slap of his flesh to JC’s had a rhythmic echo in Justin’s harsh breathing, the god the no the yes god yes way pleasure tore its way up Justin’s spine and through Justin’s brain, leaving him wasted and spent, dick still spitting after-bursts of cum deep inside JC, the rest of him leaning heavily against JC’s back.

        A minute passed.

        Justin backed up, releasing JC, tucking his cum-wet dick back in his drawers, zipping up.  He adjusted his clothes, wiped his hands on the inside of his shirt, and ran his fingers through his hair.  It was dark, so he couldn’t see JC very well, but he heard movement and the sound of JC’s zipper.

        Of course JC knew exactly where he was in any room, no matter how dark.  Without the slightest fumble, JC wrapped an arm around him and kissed him, taking his tongue like it was his dick.  “Give it to me again, baby.  Make love to me with it tonight.”

        “With what?” Justin asked.

        “Your dick, baby,” JC said, and JC’s hand was rubbing the front of his pants.  “I love it, Justin, I want it.”  JC’s fingers had the button open and were pulling down the zipper.  “I live for it.  Give it to me again.”

        “Whoa, JC, baby, slow down,” Justin said, giving a somewhat mixed message by continuing to kiss JC.  He pulled JC’s hand out of his pants a bare instant before JC got to his dick.  “Not now.”

        JC’s soft moan sounded hurt, and he plucked at Justin’s open fly while they kissed.  “I want it, baby, I want you.”

        “I know,” Justin said.  “I’ll give it to you tonight, JC, I promise.  I’ll let you have it all night.”

        “Put it in me,” JC whispered against his mouth.

        “I will,” Justin said, feeling JC’s words go straight to his dick.

        “I want it in me deep,” JC said.

        Oh, god, those words, JC’s wanting, felt like a soft warm hand rubbing Justin’s cock.  “JC...”

        “Get it inside me and thrust it in deep.”  JC’s quiet begging had Justin’s hips starting to rock in anticipation.

        “Touch it,” Justin said, bodies close, kissing JC’s mouth, hand in JC’s hair.  “Touch it.”

        JC’s hand reached inside Justin’s open fly, cupping the growing heated bulge of him through his underwear.  JC gave a gentle squeeze, and Justin moaned, weak in the knees, wanting to fuck into JC’s hand.  “I want it in me,” JC whispered, rubbing it, making Justin harder.

        So hard...

        “In me, Justin, deep in me until you come,” JC said.

        Justin pushed JC back and yanked JC’s pants open again, jerking them down.  JC pulled his hand out of Justin’s pants and moved away from him.  Justin followed in that direction and stepped on something.  JC’s pants.  Damn.  He moved forward and ran into a table.  A table.  JC was on the table, on his back, and his legs wrapped around Justin, pulling Justin in.

        “In me get in me put it in me,” JC said, like he hadn’t just been fucked against the wall.

        Justin pushed his underwear down and lifted JC’s hips.

        “Your dick I want your dick I want your oh oh oh-” and JC was panting, and Justin was fucking him, and god Justin wanted JC so freaking badly when JC wanted him this much.

        “Thank you,” Justin said.  “It’s about time.”

        “Sorry for what?” Jeff asked.

        “I have no clue,” Justin said.  “For what?”

        “I figure, if Drew and I can hear Nick and Jeff screwing in the hotel, and they can hear us, it’s fair in some way.  But Justin J., he’s always an innocent bystander.  He doesn’t get his groove on nearly enough to make it fair for him to have to put up with all of our crazy sex.”

        Silence.  Nick licked his lips.  “What?”

        Yeah, cocksucker’s mouth.  “What, what?” Nick asked, all innocence.

        “So you can hear us,” Jeff said.

        “Yeah,” Nick said.  “Great work last night, by the way.”

        “What?” Nick asked again, sounding less bewildered and more upset this time.

        “You don’t hear us, do you?” Drew asked Jeff.

        “Yeah,” Jeff said.  “Sometimes.”

        “You can hear us?” 98 Nick asked.

        “Yeah,” Nick said.  “I want to talk to you about last night.”

        “No, you don’t,” Drew said.

        “Yes, I do,” Nick said.  “He-”

        “Not now,” Drew said.

        “Of course not now,” Nick said.  “I’d never talk about fisting in front of Justin J.”

        Silence.

        Nick licked his lips.  He had the sexiest nervous habits.

        “I didn’t know you could hear us,” Drew said.

        “I didn’t know you could hear us,” Nick said.  “You knew?” he asked Jeff.

        “It crossed my mind,” Jeff said.

        “Why do you fall off of the bed?” Nick asked.

        “What?” Nick asked.

        “I heard what sounded like you guys falling off of the bed, and I asked Drew, and he said that you do sometimes.  Doesn’t it hurt?  Do you misjudge mattress space and roll over the edge?”

        “Their sex life is athletic,” Justin said.

        “It doesn’t hurt me,” Jeff said.  “I usually make sure Nick breaks my fall.”

        “Oh my god,” Nick said.  “May I be excused?”

        “Doesn’t it hurt you to hit the floor and have Jeff land on you?” Nick asked.

        “You can tell what we’re doing?” Nick asked.

        “What?”

        “How can you tell what we’re doing?”

        “People getting fucked make different noises from people getting head,” Nick said.

        “How did you know what we were doing last night?”

        “It sounded a little different, and I couldn’t quite place it, but I know Jeff fists you, so I figured it out.”

        Justin coughed.

        “You didn’t hear that,” Nick said to Justin, admiring the red flush creeping up 98 Nick’s ears.

        “I sure didn’t,” Justin agreed.

        “I didn’t know you could hear us,” Drew said.  “I’m sorry.”

        “So am I,” 98 Nick said.

        “It won’t happen again,” Drew said.

        “No, it won’t,” 98 Nick agreed.

        “You’re going to have silent sex on tour for the rest of your life?” Jeff asked.

        “Either that, or no sex,” Drew said.  “I’m going to go check on details for the,” and he was out the door.

        “I have to go talk to,” and 98 Nick was gone, too.

        Jeff sighed.

        “Lacheys are so repressed,” Nick said.

        “Tell me about it,” Jeff said.

        “Now they’re going to be afraid to make a peep in the hotels,” Nick said.

        “And bunk sex is out,” Jeff said.

        “Damn,” Nick said.  “I didn’t even think about that.  Drew was getting really good at bus sex, too.  I almost had him.”

        “You realize this is your fault,” Jeff said.

        “I was trying to apologize to Justin J.”

        “No, you were trying to get yourself in trouble.”

        “I just wanted to make Nick blush.  I didn’t think Drew would say no sex.”

        “He’ll be okay.”

        “Lacheys are good at trying to say no when their minds are denying what their bodies want,” Nick said.

        “But you and I are good at convincing them to do it anyway,” Jeff said.

        Nick grinned.  “We sure as hell are.”

        Joey watched Justin and Brian for a minute.  They really enjoyed each other’s company.  He tapped JC’s shoulder.  “Why are Brian and Justin always curled up together somewhere?”

        “Brian likes Justin.”

        “Why?”

        “Justin reminds him of Nick.”

        “That’s a compliment, right?”

        JC smiled.  “Absolutely.”

        “You’re not worried about that?”

        “No.  Brian would never think anything inappropriate about Justin, or try to make a move.  It won’t cross his mind.  But he finds it comforting to be near Justin right now.”

        “Why does Justin like to be around Brian all of the time?”

        “Probably for the reasons you and I do.”

        Joey was so relieved he didn’t blush at that, he almost missed what JC had said.  Then it hit him.  “You?”

        “After years of being Nick’s friend, and knowing how much Brian means to him in several ways, I’ve developed a vested interest in Brian.  And now that we’re working together, I really like him.”

        “But it’s not...”

        “No, I’m not attracted to him.  I’d like to have him for a close friend, and keep him as a close friend for years to come, but I have no sexual interest in him.”

        Good.  That was reassuring.

        “It’s interesting that you do.”

        “What?!”

        JC smiled.

        “What?” Joey repeated, still meaning it but lowering his voice this time.

        “You haven’t heard Nick talk about him the way Justin and I have, but you are a professional at sizing up the sexual possibilities of every woman you encounter.  You’ve sized up Brian that way, and you must have found something that caught your interest.”

        “That’s true about women, but I never-”

        “I know you don’t look at men, Joey.  You’ve only ever sized up three.  I’m not questioning your sexuality.”

        “Three?”

        “Brian, Lance, and me.”

        “What?!”

        “I’m only trying to say that part of why you like to be around Brian so much is that he’s a great guy, very friendly, with a great sense of humor.  The other part of it is that you’re in some way sexually attracted to him.  There’s nothing wrong with that.”

        “I don’t want Brian!”

        “Joey.  Sexual attraction is a strange thing.  It’s difficult, if not impossible, to dictate.  I know you’ll never hit on Brian.  But it’s all right to be interested.  I don’t think you’re gay because of it.  I just want to know why.”

        “Really?”

        “Yes.  I’m curious.  What is it about him that caught your interest?”

        Well...  Joey looked around and drew JC more out of the way.  “Between us?”

        “Yes.”

        “He gives off sort of the same vibe you do.  Like at any second he could turn around and whip out intense sexual knowledge.  Like right underneath that smiling exterior is a sexual master waiting for the right moment to unleash god knows what on his partner of choice.”  Joey hesitated.  “I love Justin and I’m sure that Nick is a great guy, so don’t kick my ass and don’t let Brian kick it, either.”

        “All right.”  JC waited.

        “Brian is like you.  He has sex on call.  He has someone he can have whenever he wants.  And the more I learn of Brian, the more I think that’s less because of Nick and more because of Brian.  He has Nick trained the way you’ve trained Justin.  And there’s something about that, something about someone who could do that, that’s compelling.”

        JC was thinking about that.

        “But Brian has something else, too.  Your sexuality is so focused on Justin, it’s multi-dimensional but it’s very specific.  Brian’s sexuality is more layered.  There’s a latent submissiveness.  I’m not talking about sexual positions, or sexual desires.  It’s psychological.  He wants someone to dominate him.  He wants to be someone’s emotional property.  I can’t help it; it turns my crank.”

        JC laughed at Joey’s honesty.

        “Nick is so freaking lucky, we might as well call him Justin.  And whoever gets to be Brian’s dom...goddamn, JC, that’s going to be one blessed motherfucker.”

        “It’s not going to be you, Joey.”

        “I know.  I’d never try.  Not my place.  But he’s so fucking pretty and he’s so fucking sexy and he only half knows it.  He smiles at me and I want him.  But don’t even start thinking anything, because there are so many reasons I shouldn’t make a move, I don’t even think about it.”

        “Good.”

        “I’m straight, he’s taken, and I learned a long time ago that you can feel like taking something but never try to go for it.  You don’t have to have everything you want.”

        “That’s very mature of you, Joey.”

        “I do want to get to know Nick now.”

        “You should.”

        “He is your best friend, so he can’t be that bad.”

        “He’s great.  Although if you want to get to know the man Brian’s latent submissiveness is waiting for, you should go talk to Drew.”

        “Drew?”

        “Yes,” JC said.

        “Well, yeah, I should have guessed that.  But Drew?  Little Drew Lachey?”

        “Drew Carter Littrell Lachey, and he’s older than you are.”

        “He doesn’t act like a dom.”

        “He’s learning.”

        “You, you’re a dom.  So’s Howie.  I didn’t think bottoms could be doms, but damn.”

        “Howie’s a bottom?” JC asked.

        “So, what are we talking about?” Chris asked.

        “Shit,” Joey said.