Together Part Seventeen

Together, seventh in "Living"

Rating: NC-17 for graphic male-male sex

Disclaimer: The young men who comprise the Backstreet Boys, *NSYNC, and 98 Degrees are their own people. The author has not met anyone here described, nor does the author mean to suggest that these people act this way in real life. This writing is a work of fiction. I make no money from this venture.

Dedication: This slashfic is for Ewan McGregor and the Savage Garden slashers.

Notice: There are six stories that come before this one. Read those first. I'll wait.

Warning: "Together" includes depictions of, discussion of, and references to, consensual incest.

Together we have seen -"The Answer to Our Life"

"Together" Part Seventeen
What did I say, what did you do
-"How Did I Fall in Love with You"

Justin scratched between JC's shoulderblades. "It's been a good week."

"Mmm," JC agreed, trying to sleep.

"Except for people wanting to kill us. That wasn't so good. But the rest of it. Not AJ. I think we should have him castrated."

"Okay."

"With a spoon."

"Okay."

"A dull soup spoon."

"Okay."

"He's messed with you, me, Lance, and Chris. He knows Joey can take him, so he's playing it cool there. What is it with the Backstreet Boys?"

"You like Nick."

"Nick's cool. I'm glad you were never with him, though. I thought you were."

"Justin, there hasn't been anyone but you for a long time."

"I didn't know that. And Nick's... He's Nick. That has its pros and cons."

JC smiled.

"Look at me."

JC opened his eyes and looked at Justin with patience and obedience.

"I love you, JC." Justin leaned in and kissed JC's lips. "I'm glad we're here."

"I love you, Justin. You're the most precious gift God's ever given to grace this earth."

"JC, you...that's... Wait." Justin thought about it. "I thought God's most precious gift was Jesus."

"That was two thousand years ago. He's had time to hone his craft since then."

"You're saying I'm better than Jesus the Christ."

"You do have some advantages."

"Like what? I'm easy?"

JC laughed. "No, Justin. Jesus was the Son of God. You're only too mortal, too human. Too real. You're a normal person, but you're beautiful and special and - - that one fragile creature could be as perfect as you..."

"JC."

"What, baby?"

"You need a new hobby. I don't want to sound ungrateful, but by the time we're ninety, this could get old."

"I'll never get tired of loving you, Justin."

"And I'll never get tired of you loving me, either. Trust me, JC, that's not what I'm saying. You just need something outside of me."

"*NSYNC."

"JC, how is *NSYNC an interest outside of me, when I'm in *NSYNC?"

"Don't get technical."

"Go back to sleep. Tomorrow morning, you start collecting stamps."

Drew was not going to panic.

Nick had shackled him to the bed. His wrists were cuffed to the bedposts. He couldn't escape. Brian's eyes had a predatory look. Nick was working on a devilish smile. He was in trouble. Big, bad trouble. "Nick?"

"Drew." Nick grinned.

He was getting no help there. And there was no point in trying to appeal to Brian. He'd have to save himself. To the Drewmobile! No, his car was in Florida. And he was handcuffed to a bed. Not good. How was he supposed to get out of this situation? How had he gotten into this situation?

Nick. It was Nick's fault.

Then Nick could get him out of it. That was fair.

"Nick."

Nick, looking lecherous, crawled onto the bed. On top of him. Not touching, only staring with eager, fascinated eyes. "I'm gonna fuck Drew."

Okay. Shit. Panic.

"Nick."

Nick looked over one shoulder to Brian. By the side of the bed, Brian ran his hand up under his shirt, touching himself, revealing skin. He exposed enough to tantalize but not nearly enough to satisfy, and Drew could almost feel Brian's touch.

"Come here, Nick."

Nick turned, crawling down to the foot of the bed, literally climbing off of the mattress to the floor, crouching before Brian on the carpet.

Brian raised his shirt one inch.

Nick licked Brian's abdomen in one slow, wet stroke. Then he kissed Brian's fingers and nipped at Brian's knuckles.

No, Nick wouldn't. Of course Nick would; it was Nick, and it was Brian, and that was what Nick and Brian did. One of the things Nick and Brian did, anyway. But... Why was he cuffed to the bed if Nick was getting intimate with Brian?

Nick tried to lick under Brian's waistband.

"I love the way you want my cock," Brian said.

Drew's body temperature spiked.

"Do you want me, Nick?"

Nick opened Brian's fly.

"How much do you want me, Nick?"

Nick tugged down Brian's jeans.

Drew wanted to ease the ache between his thighs.

Nick tugged down Brian's underwear.

Drew wanted to ease the ache between Brian's thighs.

Nick sucked Brian's cock into his mouth.

"If you want my love, you have my love. If you want my husband, you have him. If you want my sex, it's yours, Nick, any time you want it."

Nick moaned.

Drew was hard.

Nick was sucking on Brian's dick, running his tongue just below the head, feeding himself with one hand.

"Every kiss from you is a fantasy come true," Brian murmured, and tilted back his head, exposing the line of his jaw, moaning his pleasure. He wasn't on the verge of orgasm yet, but he was close, and Drew wanted to memorize each second of it.

"Are we having a fight?" Jeff asked Nick.

"I don't know."

"Are you mad at me?"

"I don't know." Nick dropped to the couch and propped his elbows on his knees, his face in his hands.

"Sorry I'm an idiot."

"I thought that I was the idiot."

"There are at least two in every relationship."

"At least."

"I know you're thinking of Nick Carter."

"I didn't say anything."

"Can you try to get along with him?"

"He was trying to give you a blowjob in front of us!"

"We were teasing."

"That was not teasing. That is never teasing. That is you wanting him and goading him, and him being too immature to keep from responding. One of you needs to grow up. He might, first."

"Nick and I are friends."

"Friends don't do that. I'm friends with Justin, and I will not lick him. Especially not there."

"Nick and I are not... I'm married, Nick. He has Brian and Drew. We play, but within limits."

"You took off your shirt and he-"

"Today we relaxed the rules a bit."

"A bit?! Bite me."

"Nick."

"I'm your husband, Jeff. Nick might not respect me, but you could show me some respect, at least in front of other people."

"I-"

"And if you want sex tonight, go over and ask Nick. I'm sure he'd love to tease you some more."

"Nick."

"I've risked, literally, everything to be with you. If you're going to show me no respect and no faithfulness and no-"

"Nick."

"-in front of family and friends, Jeff. In front of-"

"Nick."

"Do you see me hitting on Brian every chance I get? Do you see me inviting Brian to have sex with me? Do you-"

"Can we talk about this when you're more rational?"

"We can talk about this when I trust you or like you. That's not now."

Justin turned on the bedside lamp and watched JC sleep. JC held his body close, possessive, protective.

Nick was licking Brian's thighs and stroking Brian's ribcage. Brian, pleased and oversensitive after his orgasm, kept a hand on the back of Nick's neck, eyes half-closed, smiling at everything and nothing.

Drew yanked at the handcuffs to no effect, bucked his hips to no effect, and tried to keep himself from shouting.

Brian pulled his shirt off over his head. Nick's fingers reached up for a nipple. Brian winced and made a soft sound tinged with pleasure overload. His back arched; his hips came forward; his head dropped back. Nick was sucking his balls.

That was Drew's job! Doubly frustrated, Drew growled and almost hurt himself trying to break free.

"I love the way you want me," Brian said, and moaned. Moaned. Brian was moaning. Drew could make Brian moan, too. He was good at it. That was his job, to make Brian moan. That was his Brian!

"You want me just as much," Nick said, and slid his hands down Brian's ass, urging Brian closer.

"Yes," Brian said, eyes closing, "yes..."

That was his boyfriend! That was his boyfriend, and if Nick was going to give anybody two blowjobs in a row, Nick was going to do it to him. Nick liked his cock. Nick liked to suck his cock. He wanted Nick to suck his cock. What was Brian doing, taking advantage of his boyfriend like that?

Oh, Brian loved to have his cock sucked, loved the attention, loved the stimulation. It always made him so...hot... Drew moaned, dying to help. He wanted to make Brian look like that. He knew how to make Brian sound like that.

Nick sat back on his heels. Stroked Brian's hips.

Brian smiled down at him.

Nick ran a finger around Brian's arousal. Looked up. Smiled.

What? What? Drew was going mad.

Nick stood and redressed Brian. No! No! Brian was still turned on, Brian was still half-hard, how could Nick do that? If Nick didn't want some, Drew could take over for him.

"Take five," Nick said, and kissed Brian. Familiar, intimate kiss. Drew ached.

Brian smiled and left the room.

Drew wanted to scream.

Nick looked towards the bed. "Drew, what are you doing over there? Silly little Drew. Don't play with my toys if you don't know how to use them." He scooped up the key and knelt on the bed, unlocking the handcuffs. Then he tapped Drew's nose. "These are big boy toys. Don't touch." He got off of the bed and put his handcuffs back in his suitcase.

Drew didn't even care anymore. He just wanted to come. He could ask Nick for an orgasm. What was the worst thing that could happen?

Nick turned back to him. "I have an idea."

Walking down the hallway, Joey practiced sauntering. Confidence, attitude, yeah.

Then he saw AJ coming in his direction.

"Bastard."

Joey frowned and turned. AJ kept walking. Wait one holy freaking second.

"Lance!" Joey shouted.

Lance's door opened. "What?" Lance asked, stepping into the hallway.

"Hickey! Hickey! What are you doing giving AJ McLean hickeys?!"

Lance frowned. "He never held still long enough for me to - - what?"

"What?"

They looked at each other. Joey thought about it. "Have you had your mouth on AJ's neck today?"

"No."

"Oh."

Lance turned red.

Oh, angry Lance. Joey backed up. Shit. He'd never learn to think before he spoke.

"Who is leaving love bites on my lover?" Lance asked.

This wasn't the time to point out that AJ wasn't Lance's lover anymore. Joey would keep quiet on that subject for the moment. He didn't want to upset Lance further. "I don't know."

"Where is he?"

"I don't know."

"You're sure that's what it was."

"Yeah." Apparently Justin had soft skin, because he always had them. In the weirdest places, too.

Lance was back in control. "Thanks." He took off down the hallway.

Joey ran after AJ.

Blue eyes opened. JC's thumb caressed Justin's hip. "What is it, baby?"

"Go back to sleep," Justin said softly.

"Why are you awake?"

"If I'm sleeping, I can't look at you."

JC smiled. "I solve that problem by dreaming about you."

"You dream about me?"

"Every night," JC promised, and kissed him.

Since Jeff was in their room and showed no signs of leaving, Nick left. He needed to go somewhere. Do something. Play tackle football. Hit something. Hurt somebody. Throw things at Jeff.

Storming through the hallways, he ran into Brian. Brian, who was sparkling and well-kissed and half-hard. He could see it, Brian's cock swollen inside Brian's jeans.

"Nick." Brian looked up at him, starting to look concerned. "Are you all right?"

No. He hated Jeff and he hated himself and he hated Nick Carter and he hated...everybody. Yeah. Everybody.

Brian rubbed his forearm. "You okay?"

Nick stopped breathing. Brian had made love to him. Entered his body. Fucked into him. Thrust and fucked until he came. Brian had made love to him. He'd had Brian against him and on top of him and inside him. Brian had, had...had made love to him. He'd had sex with Brian.

"Nick."

He had no idea what to say now. What to do. He was in love with his brother's husband. He'd let someone who wasn't Jeff make love to him. He wanted to make love to Brian, to take Brian to his bed and - - but his bed was Jeff's bed, and...

Gentle fingers stroked his forehead. Brian smiled. "You're going to hurt yourself. Is it Jeff?"

Yes. No. Yes. Yes. Yes, it was Jeff. Jeff was a smug, self-centered-

"Are you going anywhere? Nick told me to take five. If I can't be with Nick and Drew..."

Nick swallowed. Help.

"I hear Drew's telling everyone my deep dark secrets," Brian said.

"What?"

"He told Jeff that I have a crush on you."

"He...yeah."

"It's not true," Brian said.

Nick turned red. "Oh." Of course it wasn't true. He needed to go hit Jeff. And Drew.

"I don't have a crush on you." Brian was standing way too close; the hallway was kind of wide, and there was plenty of room. "I'm in love with you."

Help.

Brian's fingers touched Nick's mouth.

Joey found AJ in the dining room. He took a seat beside AJ at the table. "Who's been eating your neck?"

AJ looked at him slowly.

Joey hated AJ. He made no apologies for it.

AJ slid his sunglasses down his nose to get a better look.

That was it. Joey was going to cause pain.

AJ snorted, pushed his sunglasses back up, and returned his attention to his menu.

"You're dead," Joey said, getting to his feet.

"Joey." A hand on his elbow.

Joey shook off Kevin. "He's screwing around again! Again!"

AJ paid them no attention.

"Are you trying to shove it in his face?" Joey demanded of AJ. "If it was Howie again-"

"Howie's with Chris," Kevin said.

"That didn't stop him before!"

"Joey," and Lance was there. "AJ."

AJ looked up. "Lance."

Joey wanted Lance to go. Wanted AJ to pay. Wanted Lance to stop hurting and AJ to stop being an asshole.

Lance stepped closer to AJ. Reached out, touched AJ's cheek. His fingers lifted AJ's chin, exposing the side of AJ's neck. A bruise. Unmistakable.

AJ stood. Lance's hand dropped.

Fast, violent: Lance's hand came back up.

AJ stumbled back against his chair.

"You have no pride," Lance said. "You have no self-respect. How am I supposed to respect you if you don't respect yourself?"

"You don't know what you're talking about," AJ said. "You're lucky I love you, or your ass would be - - don't you ever hit me again."

"You love me? You love me?" Lance demanded.

"Yes! What the fuck?" AJ asked. "You know I love you."

"Then what is this?!" Lance jerked AJ's chin to the side. "This!"

AJ wrenched free. "What the fuck does it look like?!"

"Are you so incapable of being alone that you have to fill your bed? I'm not there, you take Howie. You break up with me, you find somebody else. Tell me it wasn't Howie. Tell me-"

"It wasn't Howie! Howie's with Chris," AJ said. "I wouldn't do that to him."

"You wouldn't do that to him?! To him?! I can't believe you!"

"Lance," Joey said. "Come on."

"You stay the fuck out of it," AJ said to Joey.

"Who was it?" Lance asked. "Who would you let do that to you?"

"It's a freaking hickey," AJ said. "What's the big fucking deal?"

"You never let me mark you, you never held still long enough to let me-"

"So he had bad sex where he just laid there and let somebody kiss on him," Joey said. "He deserves lousy sex."

"I don't have bad sex," AJ said.

"Who was it?" Lance asked. "You said you were mine, you'll never let yourself be owned, what's that?"

"You should have told me you were trying out for the lead in 'Days of Our Lives,' Lance," AJ said. "Give me a fucking break. We're not together. I got laid. End of fucking story. Cut to commercial."

"It's that easy? It's that fast? Don't even come up for air," Lance said.

"You're not the only one who wants me."

"I don't want you," Lance said.

"You're not the only one who's in love with me," AJ said.

Lance froze.

"So you have groupies, who doesn't?" Joey asked.

"I came down here to eat," AJ said. "I've put up with enough of your bullshit."

Joey took Lance's elbow. Tugged. "If we stay, I'll start hitting him, too, and he hits me back. The only one in love with AJ, is AJ." He guided Lance away from the table. AJ was a bastard. An asshole. A Backstreet Boy.

In the doorway, Lance looked over his shoulder. Stopped walking.

Joey frowned and glanced over towards AJ's table.

AJ and Kevin were still standing there. AJ's sunglasses were on the table. Kevin had AJ's face tilted to the side, and was running long fingers over AJ's cheek. Checking the damage.

Joey frowned some more.

He was getting paranoid. He looked away and pulled Lance from the dining room.

"You were incredible," Brian said. "I knew you would be." He stroked Nick's jaw. "Seeing you with Jeff is being trusted with a great gift. Seeing you with Drew, that sacred precious love... Being able to share Nick with you... Nick loves you very much." Brian's eyes were very, very blue. "I know that I can trust you with Nick's love, just as I trust you with Drew's. There's such love in you, Nick, such generosity, such...warmth..."

Warmth. He felt very warm.

"I wish that you had made love to me. I wanted that...that closeness, that fullness, that...intimacy. Your sex inside me."

He couldn't look away. He was warm and tingly all over, and his skin was hot where Brian's touch lingered, and Brian's soft, secret voice was making love to his ears. Inside his brain.

"You made love to Nick," Brian said. "It was beautiful. It was very, very important to him. To trust you with his body. To trust you not to misuse him. He's very much in love with you. We all are." Was Brian moving closer? They couldn't get any closer. It wasn't possible. "Nick. What was it like?"

Brian had asked him something. A question.

"What was it like for you? To make love to Nick? To feel him, to take him..."

Brian was breathing hard. Whoa. Brian was, this was... What was it with these people and molesting him in the hallway?! It wasn't safe to leave his room.

"Was it good? Did you like it? Did it make you hard?"

Hard. Hard. Yes. Very. Right now.

"Tell me how it felt."

Didn't Brian know how it felt? To be with Nick? To, to take him, to, to...thrust into him, feel him hot and soft and tight and hard and alive and beautiful and...and... Forbidden, too wrong in too many ways, but so perfect, so good, and so...so...sexual... So good and so easy and so right and so, backwards, a whore outside of bed but a virgin when touched. And Nick had touched him, had...had...

"I want you to make love to me," Brian said.

Nick was going to come in his pants.

Brian kissed his cheek. "Jeff knows what he has. He treasures you every day. He can give you a love strong enough to sustain even your generous heart." Brian looked at him. Into his eyes. Looking for something. "You're so beautiful," Brian said. "I've never known anyone as gorgeous as you. The warmth you carry inside, it touches everyone around you. You've been through so much, been put through so much, and every day you keep going, loving and living. You're strong, Nick, you have great strength, but it's inside."

He touched Brian's face.

Brian laughed. "No, Nick. I didn't mean to - - no, no, not now, not me." He escaped Nick's embrace. "Go back to your room and let Jeff love you. I'm sorry, I didn't mean to do that. It's just that I love you and I never see you, and we're never alone together, and there are so many things I want to tell you... Wait, no, Nick!" Brian escaped again. "Go, go, back to Jeff, before I get in trouble. Go. Go." He kissed Nick's cheek and ducked into his room, locking himself in, alone.

Chris groaned. He would never move again. "I've overdosed."

"On what?" Howie asked, lounging beside him in bed.

"Chocolate. Sex." He looked over. "You."

"Too much of a good thing?" Howie teased.

"This bed is a mess. The maid's going to think badly of us."

"We're a mess," Howie said.

"Sweat, semen, chocolate mousse... The new taste sensation."

"Can you get up?"

"For what?" Chris moaned, already deciding against it.

"To take a hot bath with me."

Chris perked up.

AJ's life was getting rough. He was surprised that anyone could notice the hickey, considering all of his other bruises. At least he wasn't getting into it with anyone from 98 Degrees. Even he had his limits. JC and Justin were fierce - - well, deranged - - and Joey was big, but Jeff? No, thank you.

It was nobody's business, but he did want it clear that he had not been with Howie. Howie was with Chris. AJ wouldn't touch that.

People were trying to kill him and Lance hated him and Kevin...whatever. He didn't know what Kevin was doing or thinking or planning or otherwise.

Maybe he didn't want to know.

Kevin looked at him. "What?"

"It's time to sign me up for the lead in 'General Hospital,'" AJ said. "What the fuck is going on? I was normal, I was happy, I had my job and my guy. Now I have no guys, or too many guys, and I can't walk ten feet without somebody smacking me around, and who the fuck does Lance think he is, hitting me?! I'd never hit him, and we broke up, he can't pull the betrayed lover routine on me!"

"I'm glad you didn't hit him back," Kevin said.

"I don't need you to be proud of me," AJ said. "Shove your approval."

Kevin went back to eating.

AJ mashed his peas into his potato. Life sucked. Lance sucked. *NSYNC sucked. This week sucked. Most of all, he sucked. And he hated himself for that soft inner glow Kevin gave him. Oh, Daddy was proud of him, hooray hooray. Fuck that. He picked up a pea and threw it across the table at Kevin.

Kevin looked up.

AJ threw another one. Hit him right in the chest.

"One more try, AJ," Kevin warned.

AJ did it again. Deliberately provoking. He was an asshole and he was proud of it. He wanted to piss Kevin off. He was having a shitty day, so everyone else should, too. Especially Kevin.

Kevin stood. "You can eat by yourself."

"You can eat me," AJ shot back.

Kevin smiled. "I have."

Oh, shit.

Kevin left.

AJ was not going to follow him. Was not going to follow him. Was not going to follow him.

Nick didn't want to go back to Jeff. He was mad at Jeff. He wanted to go see Brian, really wanted to go see Brian, but that might not be the best idea. He could go find Justin. He could-

A door opened. Nick paused.

"Make sure you give that to him," Nick told Drew.

Drew turned over the white envelope. "Maybe-"

"Are you scared?"

"No," Drew said.

Nick could tell that his brother was lying.

Nick smiled. "It's okay. Brian will be good to you. Kiss me good-bye."

"Why aren't you coming?"

What were they doing?

"Maybe I'll stop by later," Nick said, and reached out, fingers closing on the front of Drew's shirt, tugging Drew closer. "Kiss me good-bye."

"Wish me luck."

He couldn't believe Drew actually went up on his toes to kiss Nick.

"Don't be nervous," Nick said. "Brian saved you earlier today."

"What? When?"

He was coming in in the middle of something.

Nick put his hand under his shirt, exposing his navel. "Come here and suck my dick."

Drew gaped.

Nick gaped.

"He knew you were freaking. He distracted me so I wouldn't fuck my cute little Drew senseless." Nick kissed Drew's cheek. "He'll take care of you."

"I..." Drew was processing that information.

Fuck his cute little Drew senseless?!

Nick leaned down until they were nose-to-nose, hanging from the doorjamb. "Lick my nose for me."

Drew stared at him.

Lick his nose? Lick his nose?!

"Go ahead." Nick closed his eyes.

Drew hesitated.

Well...maybe...it was kind of cute...

Nick flared his nostrils.

Drew laughed. "Oh, Nick, I don't know why that makes me hard."

Drew!

Nick burst into laughter, straightening, opening his eyes.

"Get back down here and let me lick you," Drew said.

These people were nuts.

"Hold on, I'm having a laughing fit," Nick said. "Drew! That doesn't make you hard."

"It does," Drew said.

That was a weird kink.

"Am I the only person in this relationship who isn't a weird pervert?" Nick asked.

"I guess so," Drew said. "I have to go find Brian. Let me lick your nose."

What were Drew and Brian doing, and why wasn't Nick joining them?

"Don't bite me," Nick said, and leaned down again, closing his eyes.

Drew tilted his head to one side. Kissed Nick's lips. Flicked his tongue to the left of Nick's nose. Kissed the end of Nick's nose. Licked beside Nick's right nostril. Made a quiet, pleased sound.

Nick stared. His little brother was having sex with Nick's face.

Nick ducked back and stood up straight again. "I'm going to go jack off. Wow. Drew, you," he kissed Drew, "continue to be a crowd-pleaser." Another kiss. "Damn. Go play with Brian."

Drew blushed and turned to go. Spotted Nick.

Nick should have walked away before now. "Hi."

"My nose is wet," Nick said, and rubbed it. "You, get in here, I need to talk to you. Drew, go, stop being embarrassed. He's just jealous you don't lick his nose like that."

"You could have said you were standing there," Drew said.

"I didn't want to interrupt," Nick said.

"Manners?" Nick asked. "Who taught you manners? Drew, go, Brian's going to get cold."

Drew cast Nick a nervous look, made a face at his brother, and left them.

Nick didn't know what to do now.

"Come on, get in here," Nick said.

Chris was in hot water, literally, up to his neck. He was naked and wet and slippery in a hot, steamy room. And he was crowded into a bathtub with Howie Dorough.

This was a good life.

"We're past the stage of trying to impress each other all of the time, right?" he asked.

"Yes," Howie said, and his toes did some sexy intimate thing with Chris's foot.

He shouldn't be this in love with one person. "Good. I look stupid with my hair wet."

"No, you don't," Howie said.

"You're looking right at me."

"That's right."

"You can see how stupid I look."

"With wet hair? Chris, you look fine."

Chris eyed Howie with suspicion.

Howie kissed him.

"I think you're in love with me."

"I am," Howie agreed.

"This is kind of romantic. We should have candles and flower petals and strolling violinists."

"Strolling violinists in the bathroom?"

"He can't stroll very far, can he? Maybe we can get one that stands still."

"We may have to," Howie agreed.

"He'll think I look stupid with my hair wet."

"No, he won't."

"I'll have to give him an extra-big tip."

"He already gets to see you naked. What more does he want?" Howie asked.

"He will see me naked," Chris realized, sitting up more. "The horror! The trauma! We'll have to pay his therapy bills."

Howie laughed and pulled him over, climbing on top of him, straddling him. "I'll obscure his view."

"This," Chris said, trying to breathe normally, "is much better."

Howie slid down, resting on top of Chris, his head on Chris's shoulder. Chris's hand poured warm water over Howie's shoulders.

"Our strolling violinist can see your butt," Chris said.

"Good. Then we won't have to tip him at all," Howie said.

"Or even pay him," Chris said.

Howie smiled against Chris's shoulder.

"We still might need to pay his therapy bills," Chris said.

"Why?" Howie asked.

"He's madly in love with you and possessed with jealous rage directed at me."

"Ah. I can see how that might happen."

Chris laughed. "Can we get a blind strolling violinist? A blind non-strolling violinist. A blind, stationary violinist."

"Any other requirements?"

"He has to know the entire works of Burt Bacharach."

"On the violin?"

"Yes."

"Such a picture of loveliness, didn't you notice the resemblance, doesn't it look like she could speak?"

Chris's eyes went round.

"Those eyes I tried to capture, they are lost to me now, forever. They smile for someone else."

Chris held still and quiet, wanting it to continue.

"Funny how looks can be deceiving. But she's not easily painted from memory."

Chris closed his eyes, keeping one hand on Howie's back, unaware that his toes were curling.

"You'd think that I would know by now those eyes I tried to capture they are lost to me now, forever. They smile for someone else. And so this hat to me painted from memory. She is gone and I must accept it. She is lost to me now. But I can't look away just yet though she smiles for someone else. Funny now I can see how looks can be deceiving. Funny now I can see how looks can be deceiving."

Chris inhaled. Mmm.

Howie scooped water over Chris's shoulder.

"This hat?"

"What?" Howie laughed, recalling. "I don't know what that word is. I've never figured it out."

"I hate songs like that. When there's one part you just can't get."

"It's either garbled and incomprehensible, or it sounds like something ridiculous."

"Send the crazy world no static."

"What?"

"That's what I said. It makes no sense."

"What?"

"The Backstreet Boys need to articulate better."

"The - - hey!"

"I finally figured out that AJ's saying 'crowd hyped,' not 'Crown Heights.' That makes a little sense. But the-"

"Look who's talking!"

"What?"

"You rap about Kool-Aid!"

"So?"

"Chris, do you know how embarrassing it is to have a lover who... My brother calls you Juicy-Juice."

"What?"

"I tried to explain to him about 'I Drive Myself Crazy,' but he still thinks you're an exhibitionist."

"You...you told John..." Chris tried to sit up straighter, and Howie moved to accomodate him. The back of the tub was freezing against his naked back. "He knows about me?"

"Chris, the whole world knows we're together."

"You talk to him about me?" Chris tried not to be distracted by Howie kneeling astride his naked body, casual and familiar.

Howie's forehead wrinkled. "You didn't know that? Chris, I talk to my whole family about you. Some of them more than others. I even..."

"What?"

"Nothing."

"What?"

"Never mind. Come on, we're turning into prunes." Howie flipped his hair over his shoulder and got out of the tub.

Brian opened the door. "Hi."

"Hi," Drew said. "My name's Drew. I met your friend Nick yesterday, and he asked me to come over and drop this off for him."

Brian accepted the envelope. "Thanks. Come on in." He could play along. What was Nick plotting now? He ripped open the envelope and pulled out the slip of paper.

I found the perfect little bottom boy.

Nick and Nick faced each other.

"The door's locked. We could screw," Nick suggested.

Nick looked at Nick.

"I hate you," Nick muttered.

He should say something. Something. Something neutral. Something that wouldn't get him in trouble. "I ran into Brian in the hallway." Nothing. He should say something else. "He's pretty."

Small smile. "He is," Nick agreed. He almost sounded proud. "What'd he say?"

"He's in love with me." Maybe that had been a stupid thing to say. But his mind was still turning over the information, still caressing and treasuring it.

"He is not."

Nick bristled. "He is."

"He loves me," Nick said.

"He told me he's in love with me."

"He's not with you, he's with me."

Time to pull out the big guns. "He wants me to make love to him."

"He does not!"

"He told me-"

"Why would he want you?"

"Why would he want you?" Nick countered.

"He doesn't need you, he has Drew."

"Drew wants me, too."

"Oh, shut the fuck up," Nick said. "He does not."

"He does so! Where have you been?!"

"I don't see him licking your nose," Nick said.

"He licks me everywhere else," Nick said. "Maybe he's working up the courage to do it."

"Courage?"

"Mine's bigger."

Nick's jaw dropped. "Don't start that with me! Drew doesn't give a fuck about that."

Nick raised his eyebrows.

"I hate you."

"Brian asked me what it's like making love to you."

Nick blushed crimson.

"I didn't say anything. I didn't know where to start."

"That good?" Nick asked, trying to recover.

"You were like...like..."

"Like what? Like the best lay ever? Like your wildest dreams? Like you'd always known I'd be? Like a walrus?"

"A walrus?" Nick asked, startled.

"Like what?"

"Like...a virgin."

Nick stared at him.

Nick turned red.

"A virgin?" He wasn't sure how to take that.

Nick swallowed. "Yeah."

"Is that an insult?" Nick asked, going with his first instinct.

"No," Nick said. "No, it's... It was... I've never had that."

"You've never had sex?"

"Can you be quiet and let me talk?"

"Can you talk and make sense?"

"Go sit down."

"No."

"Just go," Nick said, pushing him.

"Why?"

Nick shoved; Nick sat. "Stay there. Where was I?"

"Taking my virginity. A little late for that. Really late for that. And you've had virgins. What about Jeff?"

"Shut up and let me think."

"Take your time."

Nick shifted his weight from one foot to the other. Crossed his arms over his chest.

Nick started humming, tapping his fingers.

"Be quiet."

"You're a really good cocksucker."

Nick blushed. Uh... "Thanks." He avoided Nick's gaze.

Nick smirked.

Nick sat on the sofa, elbows on knees, rubbing his hands over his face. "I'm in love with you."

Nick didn't say anything.

He was afraid to look at Nick, so he looked at the carpeting. "I've had sex before, and I've had sex with men before, and... It's, I do that to Jeff all of the time. I never, I..."

Nick didn't say anything.

"I don't want to fight with you anymore. It hurts, it hurts me. Maybe that's weird. Maybe I'm stupid. This whole situation is stupid." He rubbed his forehead. "I'm in love with you and I won't fight with you anymore and I know you'll take care of Drew. You do take care of Drew. I know you have some hormonal relationship with Jeff, and I can't blame you for wanting him, so go ahead and do whatever you want with him, I can't stop you."

Nick didn't say anything.

He glanced to his right, checking to make sure Nick was still there. Oh, god. He sat up straighter. "Nick-"

"Go to hell."

Drew was going to kill him for making Nick cry. He hadn't meant to! "What did I do now?"

"Get out."

"Nick-"

"Fuck you. Get out."

He should go get Brian. He should go get Drew. He should go get Jeff. Kevin. AJ. JC. Somebody. Somebody who wasn't him, because he didn't know what to do. Nick was crying and scared and angry, and he didn't know why, and he didn't know what he was supposed to do. He didn't want to leave. He'd made Nick cry. "Are you okay?"

"Get out!" Nick shouted.

He tried to think. From what he knew, Brian would have something good to say right now. But he had nothing to say. What else? Physical affection. He could try that, assuming that Nick wouldn't hit him for trying it. He scooted closer, easing an arm-

Nick shoved him away and swore.

"I'm trying to help! What is wrong with you?"

Nick jerked away from him, standing over him. "You, you are a big, ugly, stupid, dumb, ugly Neanderthal no-talent box of rocks worthless bastard!"

He wondered if he looked as stricken as he felt.

"Brian is not in love with you! Drew doesn't want you and you're lucky Jeff ever touches you. Get the fuck out."

He felt like he'd been hit. He stared up at Nick from the sofa, too stunned to move. Then he realized that he was pressing a hand over the worst of his scarring. Nick was crying and shaking, and he felt like he'd done something awful, really, really, awful, but he didn't know what it was, and he didn't know what to do about it. Drew was going to be mad at him. He wanted to go to Jeff for help, but he was mad at Jeff. He should go get Brian. Brian always knew how to take care of Nick. He stood, carefully, and left the room. He felt shaky and sort of scared. And totally lost.

Kevin sighed, settling on his back, one hand stroking his naked abdomen. He hadn't meant to leave his mark on AJ's neck. Not that he minded having it there, a temporary sign of his love, but it hadn't been intentional. He'd only wanted to taste AJ's flesh. AJ had been moving beneath him, impatient, frustrated, but he'd kept AJ under his body, letting AJ try to writhe and buck, firm hands holding AJ in place, feeding his fill of AJ's passion and skin.

AJ had never held still for Lance? AJ didn't hold still for him, either. He wouldn't force AJ into submission. But there was a slender balance where AJ permitted him to be in charge. He was only nominally in control, and only because AJ allowed him to be.

Maybe AJ hadn't let Lance into that position. Maybe Lance hadn't known how to step into that place. Maybe it wasn't possible, or a good idea, to compare their relationships.

If AJ didn't come back to his bed tonight... That was AJ's decision. He'd let AJ come to him, or not.

Brian leaned back against the wall, letting Drew suck on his tongue. One hand rubbed down over Drew's naked ass, feeling the taut curve. Drew moved back into his hand, plucking at his nipple. He eased his finger inside Drew, tasting Drew's moan.

Drew was eager to please, easily pleased, hungry for his cock. Drew wrapped an arm around his shoulders, hips rocking back against his touch, one hand fisting around his cock. He gave Drew two fingers, which only made Drew greedier.

Brian realized that something was happening. He held still for a second.

Someone was knocking on the door.

Drew licked his nipple.

"Brian?"

Brian kissed Drew and slipped his fingers free. Maybe if they were quiet, Nick would go away.

"Brian, I..."

Drew rested his forehead on Brian's naked shoulder. "I'm going to hurt him."

Brian hesitated.

Drew sighed. "Something's wrong. You can tell because he sounds extra stupid," Drew added, raising his voice. "This had better be important!"

Brian gave Drew an extra kiss and picked up his scattered clothes.

Drew found his underwear and jeans. He couldn't find his shirt, so he pulled on a button-down at random. Whoa. A little big. Must be Nick's. He glanced over; Brian was mostly dressed. He unlocked and opened the door. "What did you do now?"

"Sorry," Nick said.

Drew pulled the shirt closed, not to cover his chest but to conceal his arousal. "What?"

"I made your boyfriend cry."

"You what? What did you do to Nick?" Drew demanded.

"I didn't do anything! He was the one yelling at me. I think he's mentally unbalanced."

"You're going to be unbalanced," Drew muttered. "Where is he?"

"In his room. Your room. Whoever's room that is. I didn't do anything!"

Brian came through the doorway, deliciously rumpled, and started down the hallway.

"Nick's crying and I'm missing really, really, really good sex," Drew said. "You'll pay for this."

"Mmm." A dark blue eye opened. "Where're you going?" Justin slurred, reaching for JC.

"Ssshhh," JC said, and kissed his cheek. "Go back to sleep, baby."

"Come and run," Justin accused.

"I'll be back soon," JC promised. "You sleep." He ran his fingertips along Justin's chin. "Warm, naked, sleepy... Tired, and your body wants to rest, and you can still feel my body heat."

"Come back soon," Justin said.

JC kissed him and moved away to dress.

Brian knocked. "Nick?"

Drew jogged up beside him. "Is he okay?"

"Nick, it's Brian."

Drew tried the handle. "I told you to go away," he said over his shoulder. To Brian, he said, "Can we unlock it?"

"Nick, we're coming in," Brian said.

Drew unlocked the door. Looked inside. "Nick?"

Brian entered the suite. "Nick?"

"Where is he?" Drew asked.

"He's not here," Brian said.

"He's not here?" Drew repeated. He grabbed Nick. "Where'd he go?"

"He was right here," Nick said. "I don't know."

"Dining room," Brian said. "If he's not there, we'll try Jeff. Or Kevin."

"Kevin?" Drew asked.

"It depends on how upset he is," Brian said.

Nick swallowed.

JC wasn't satisfied, but he knew he never would be. He'd feel better if the police dispersed the crowd, but the fourteen of them had agreed not to ask for crowd removal. If the fans wanted to come, then they were grateful for the support.

He'd better get back to Justin. He didn't like leaving Justin alone with assassins outside. He paused, then entered the lounge for one quick look at the crowd. It was crazy out there. At least they weren't rioting.

"Hey. What're you doing up?"

JC turned and smiled. "What about you?"

Jeff made a disgusted sound and sat on the sofa. "Don't ask."

"You okay?" JC asked.

"It turns out I'm the world's worst husband."

"Ouch." JC sat beside him. "I thought you were in the top five."

Jeff laughed. "Thanks. How're you dealing with the..." He gestured to the windows.

"I can't keep Justin safe," JC said. "I can't keep Lance and Chris and Joey safe, either."

"That's hard to accept," Jeff said. "I still find myself plotting how to save us all. And Nick, it's his husband, his brother, his best friend - - you'd think God had handed him all the responsibility for us."

"He almost lost you. All three of you. He can't let that happen again."

"We could have lost him, too."

"He doesn't care about that."

"I care about that," Jeff said.

JC sighed. Thought. "Yeah. Justin would be safer without me, but I can't walk away from him, because even though I know he'd be safer, I can't hurt him like that."

"You aren't with him for yourself? You're with him for him?"

"Yes."

"JC, that's... That's not too healthy."

"So I've heard."

Jeff laughed.

"Justin says I need a hobby."

"Taxidermy?"

"Stamp collecting."

"There are worse ways to spend your time."

JC smiled.

"This sounds really...inadequate. But Justin's really lucky to have you."

"I'm lucky to have Justin," JC said.

"You're incorrigible," Jeff said. "Start looking for stamps."

"The weird thing is, he's not at all jealous. Ever. He knows that in my heart, I could never be unfaithful to him. But I, I get jealous. I can't stand thinking of him with someone else."

"That's not weird," Jeff said. "I think I'm getting pretty good at Justin's side of that equation. I know Nick loves me, I know that I come first. But he gets jealous, and I can't understand it."

"You think he should trust you?"

"I trust him."

JC thought about it.

Nick Carter Littrell Lachey came in and sat between them, slumping, scowling.

"Hi," Jeff said, testing the waters.

JC brushed aside a stray blond hair. "You okay?"

Nick grunted and scratched his elbow.

Jeff sat up straighter, looking closer. Nick had been crying. "What happened?"

Nick looked at JC.

JC looked back at him.

"Where's Justin?"

"Sleeping."

"Let's go wake him up." Nick stood.

JC glanced at Jeff. "Excuse us."

"Sure," Jeff said. Nick and JC left. Jeff went to find Brian.

AJ was going to spend the night alone.

He'd already gotten laid enough times that day. He didn't have Lance anymore. He wanted to back out of whatever he'd started with Kevin. Maybe he'd go back to women.

He wasn't scared. He was not afraid. He was not afraid of Kevin, not afraid of what Kevin might want from him, not afraid of what might happen between them.

He should've stayed with Lance. He was in love with Lance. His beautiful porn baby. What the fuck had he been thinking? The best thing ever to happen to him, and he sent it packing.

He still loved Lance. He always would. Maybe he could get Lance back. He didn't want to spend the rest of his life, the whole fucking long rest of his life, without Lance.

He didn't want to spend another day without Lance.

Kevin was an aberration. An on-the-rebound mistake.

He'd slept with Howie, and nothing had changed. He could stop climbing into bed with Kevin, and everything would be okay. Kevin wouldn't care. Kevin would understand. They were still friends. Still brothers.

Tomorrow he'd talk to Lance.

Tomorrow. No. Now. Tonight. He'd talk to Lance now.

AJ got out of bed and turned on the light.

Justin heard the door. Heard JC's voice say something. Mmm. JC was back. Good. He felt JC touch his shoulder. He rolled over, opening his eyes.

"Aaahhh!" Justin backed up, fast.

"Hi," Nick said.

He hit Nick. "JC, what is he doing here?"

JC reached over and tugged the bedclothes over Justin better. "He wanted to pay us a visit."

"Smells like sex in here," Nick said.

"You should know," Justin muttered, rubbing his eyes.

"Shut up," Nick said.

Justin looked at Nick. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing."

Justin watched Nick sulk. Damn. Sexy. Uh... He glanced at JC for help.

JC said, "Where's Brian?"

"Screwing Drew," Nick said.

"Without you?" Justin asked.

"It was my idea," Nick said. "They're going to love it. So fucking hot."

"Really?" Justin asked.

"Yeah." Nick plucked at the quilt.

"So they're fine."

"Yeah."

Justin looked at JC. Tried not to sound too tentative. "How's Nick? The other one, Jeff's Nick."

Nick scowled.

Ah. Justin looked at JC.

"Jeff said that Nick's mad at him," JC said.

"He was before," Nick said.

"Why?" JC asked, treading lightly.

"It was my fault."

JC rubbed Nick's back.

"I fuck up everything," Nick said.

"No, you don't," Justin said.

"I'm not going to cry in front of you," Nick muttered. "I hate you."

"We're friends," Justin said.

"I'm JC's friend."

"Me, too," Justin said. "And any friend of JC's is a friend of mine."

"That's how you end up with loser friends like Chris," Nick warned.

"You're upset so I'll overlook that remark," Justin said.

"That's big of you."

"I know."

"Does size matter?"

"What? Yes. No. It depends."

"Does size matter?" Nick asked JC.

"No," JC said.

"Yeah, you're with him," Nick muttered.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Justin asked. He peeked under the covers.

"Given the choice between two guys, would you pick the one that's hung or the one that's not?"

"I'd pick JC," Justin said.

"Can you carry on a normal conversation?" Nick asked.

"How hung, and how not hung?" Justin asked.

"Say, a Backstreet Boy and someone from 98 Degrees."

Justin thought about it. "It wouldn't matter. I wouldn't pick just based on that."

"Yeah, but...98 Degrees," Nick said.

"But in comparison with a Backstreet Boy," Justin said. "If we were talking O-Town, I'd run screaming. But Backstreet Boys, there's some quality there. From what I've heard. I wouldn't know. I never scope out anyone but JC."

Nick pondered, plucking at the quilt.

Justin nudged him.

He nudged back.

"You're letting Brian and Drew have fun without you?"

"Yeah. I should have a camera running." He caught Justin coughing. "What? What? There's a camera in here?"

"No," Justin said. "No, no," he emphasized, turning to JC.

Nick looked at Justin. "You tape sex."

"No!" Justin said. "No, no... I..."

"You can't lie for shit," Nick said.

"Once," Justin said. "Only once."

"Without telling him. What happened?"

JC turned red and left the bed.

"It was good," Nick guessed, grinning.

"It was, I... I wasn't... I just wanted to see what it was like. To see what we looked like. I didn't, I thought... I didn't know he would..."

"JC got kinky," Nick said.

JC walked away.

"A little," Justin admitted.

"A lot," Nick said. "And you taped it. Was it good?"

"He didn't want to watch it. But..."

"You wanted to watch it."

"I wanted to see."

"You wanted to watch," Nick said. "How was it?"

"It was..." Justin hesitated.

Someone knocked on the door. Justin looked relieved.

"I'm not here," Nick said.

JC checked the peephole. "It's Brian. And Drew."

Nick hid under the covers.

"Close your eyes!" Justin said, trying to cover himself with his hands.

JC pulled Justin out of the bed and made him get dressed.

"I'm trying to sleep," Justin protested.

JC opened the door. "Hi."

"Sorry to interrupt," Brian said.

"Have you seen Nick?" Drew asked. He turned around and glared down the hallway. "I told you-"

"Is he okay?" Nick asked, coming up behind Drew.

"Jeff said he's here," Brian said.

"No Nicks here," Justin said.

"You can come in and look," JC suggested.

"He's not here," Justin said.

Brian and Drew glanced at the bed.

"You need a new tailor," Justin told Drew.

Once Brian and Drew were in, JC blocked the doorway with a smile. Nick tried to edge past him, but he wasn't moving.

Brian walked around the bed. "Nick?"

Drew walked around to the other side. "Nick?"

Brian started to tug down the bedclothes.

Nick jerked them back up.

Drew snuck a hand in on the side.

Nick slid down towards the foot of the bed.

"If this isn't Nick, I'm going to be embarrassed," Brian said, and climbed on top of the lump in the covers. "Nick, Nick's sorry he upset you. He didn't mean to."

"If you come out, I'll make him grovel," Drew said.

"Jeff's worried about you," Brian said.

"We're worried about you," Drew said.

Nick was trying to escape down to the foot of the bed. Brian stayed astride him.

"Nick," Brian said. "Nick, you should come out here and see Drew."

"What?" Drew asked.

"You'd love it. You have to see what he's wearing."

"What?" Drew asked. He looked down at himself. "Oh. Brian-"

"He's so fucking sexy, it's adorable," Brian whispered.

Drew turned red. Justin laughed. JC pretended not to smile.

"We were going to make love," Brian said. "We started, but then Nick came and said you were upset. We can go back and pick up where we left off. You can come with us."

Nick fell off the foot of the bed, taking Brian and the bedclothes with him. He started crawling in the direction of the door.

"Left, left," Justin urged.

"Nick," Drew said.

"Ouch," Brian said.

Nick froze.

"You okay?" Drew asked.

"Yeah," Brian said.

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah."

Nick hesitated. Waited. Edged towards the door.

"Nick," Drew said. "Nick, you're going to bonk right into something and hurt yourself."

"Bonk?" Brian repeated.

"You know what I mean," Drew said. "Nick, come on. Come back to the room with us."

"Bonk," Brian repeated.

"Be quiet," Drew said.

"Hey, the laundry's headed for the door," Brian said. "I wonder where it's going?"

"We could follow it," Drew said.

"Better idea." Brian sat on Nick's back. "Is there a snack on this trip?"

"You're going to hurt him," Drew said.

"Do we get to watch a movie?" Brian asked. "Go right, you'll bonk into Justin."

"Stop mocking me," Drew said.

"Watch it, watch it, there's an obstruction in the doorway. Drew, clear the path."

Drew pushed and hauled his brother out of the way.

"Thank you." Brian saluted JC and waved to Justin. Nick crawled down the hallway.

AJ looked at the door.

No. No. No, no, no-

He knocked.

No! It was wrong, it was a mistake, it was a disaster, it was-

Kevin opened the door.

No! No!

Kevin waited. Tall and masculine and muscular, strong and proud and handsome. Confident.

AJ decided to turn and run.

Kevin kept waiting.

AJ stepped back. Time to go.

Kevin waited.

AJ shoved past Kevin, pulled Kevin aside, and locked the door. "I'm in." He took a moment. Okay. He was in. "Are we sleeping or screwing?"

"Where are we going?" Drew asked.

"I don't know. He's steering," Brian said. "You want to switch? You could ride for a while."

"No, that's okay," Drew said. "Would you stop following us?!" he demanded, turning. "Go bother Jeff!"

"I hate Jeff," Nick said.

"Yeah, we kind of got that earlier," Drew said. "When your cold and icy demeanor froze the lounge. You upset Nick, you're mad at Jeff, are you getting along with anyone?"

"You," Nick said.

"We're not getting along," Drew said. "You hurt Nick."

"Brian?" Nick tried.

"Your sole source of support is a man who's riding dirty laundry down the hallway," Drew said. "This is a highlight."

Brian turned around, facing the rear, then settled on his back, knees up, feet propped on Nick's butt. His hands reached down to hold Nick's sides for support. "Forget the bus. This is the only way to travel." He pulled an extra length of blanket over himself. "Wake me when we get there."

"He's going to suffocate," Drew said.

"Stop worrying," Nick said.

"I wouldn't be worrying if you weren't causing trouble! What did you do to him?"

"Not that!"

"What did you say to him?"

"Nothing."

"Nothing. He just started crying for no reason."

"Yes! Ouch!"

"I want you to apologize."

"For what?! I didn't do anything!"

"Then why is my lover crawling down the hallway wrapped in-"

"He's nuts! I don't know!"

"He is not nuts!"

"Look at him!"

"Nick, Nick, go left, go left, we're at the end of the hallway," Drew said.

"Maybe he wants to bonk into the wall."

"Shut up."

"Having a parade?" Jeff asked as they turned the corner.

"Hi," Drew said.

Jeff crouched and patted Nick's head through the sheets. "Where are you going?"

A quilt-covered hand...paw...hoof brushed Jeff's leg.

"Do you want to come home with me?" Jeff asked.

"He's housebroken," Brian offered.

"You know, if this isn't Nick, we're idiots," Drew said.

"We're idiots anyway," Brian said.

"That's pretty self-evident," Jeff said. "Come on, you can rest the caravan in my room."

The five of them progressed down the hallway. Brian stood, and Jeff guided the autonomous pile of laundry into his room and to the bed, where it crawled up to join its brethren.

Nick waited inside the door, large and glowering.

Brian sat on the bed. Relaxed against the large lump he found. Lay down. Tried to get comfortable. Tangled the bedsheets. Wrestled with Jeff's blanket. Ended up tying a knot in Nick's quilt. Rested. Rolled over. Squirmed. Crawled on top of Nick. Settled on Nick's other side. Pulled Nick's blanket over himself. When Nick pulled the blanket back, he rolled with it. A battle ensued. Escalated. Then Brian and Nick were under the bedclothes together, and Nick was laughing. The battle ended. The combatants were still. They started whispering. They cuddled. They started...moving. Nick moaned.

Drew climbed onto the bed and tugged down the bedclothes. Finally he unearthed Nick and Brian.

Flushed, wrapped around Brian, Nick smiled. "Hi, Drew." He frowned. He sat up. "Drew." He grabbed Drew, hauled Drew closer.

"What?" Drew asked.

Nick buttoned Drew's shirt. Rather, he buttoned his shirt, which Drew was wearing. "I like this."

"The sleeves are kind of long," Drew said.

"I didn't know you knew what sleeves were," Nick said. "You and those sleeveless shirts. You don't even own real clothes."

"Muscle shirts," Brian said.

"What?"

"They're called muscle shirts."

"That makes sense. You're smart," Nick said. "Look at how cute my sexy Drew is." He squeezed Drew. "Kiss, kiss."

"Hi, Nick," Drew said. "It's good to see you, too."

"Justin tapes sex with JC."

"Does he?" Brian asked.

"We should tape sex."

"No," Drew said.

"I know! We could tape us having sex, and then send it to Drew, so he can watch us when he's far away without us."

Brian smiled.

Drew didn't say anything.

Nick chuckled. "Good. Let's go find a videocamera." He squeezed Drew and kissed some more.

"Nick," Drew said, "are you okay?"

"I'm okay," Nick said. "This, this is not our bed."

"We're in Jeff's room," Brian said.

"Is Jeff here?"

"Yes," Brian said.

Nick squeaked and hid behind Drew.

"What?" Drew asked. "Nick, what-"

"I yelled at his Nick," Nick whispered. "Ssshhh, hold still."

"You yelled at Nick?"

"Keep your voice down. Yes, I was very mean, and now Jeff's going to hurt me."

"For yelling at Nick?"

"I hurt him. It was bad. It was really bad, you should've seen him."

"Why did you hurt Nick?"

"I don't wanna talk about it. Hide me."

Brian snuggled in close, familiar and comfortable. Drew stayed on top of Nick, taking the cue from Brian and waiting.

"I yelled at him," Nick said. "I was mean, I insulted him and I called him names."

Brian smoothed Nick's hair.

Nick pulled Drew closer and rested his chin on Drew's shoulder. "I told him, I said..."

Brian stroked Nick's cheek.

"He was hurt, he looked like I hit him, he was... His face, he just... And he started, he... I didn't know he did that. Drew does that. I thought Jeff did it. I never saw Nick do that."

Drew rested in Nick's embrace.

"He put his hand on, on, where he's hurt. Where the, the scars are...the..."

"Oh, Nick," Brian said.

"He looked so hurt and I... I was mean to him. I hurt him. And now Jeff's going to hurt me and you're going to be mad at me and I didn't, I..." Nick sighed. "I was only mean because he was mean first."

"What did he say?"

"Stuff."

"I didn't say anything," Nick said from across the room.

Nick held onto Drew more tightly.

"Nick, do you remember what Drew said before?" Brian asked.

"He said we can't handcuff you."

Drew pretended that Nick and Jeff hadn't just heard that.

Brian chuckled. "Yes. Before that. He said that Nick is a beautiful person."

"Oh."

"Do you remember?"

"Drew likes Nick."

"Drew loves Nick."

"Drew loves you."

Nick squeezed Drew.

"You should be nice to Nick," Brian said. "He's a very special person. We want him to be happy. When he's hurt, we're hurt."

Nick burrowed away from Brian.

"Nick," Brian said.

"Go away."

Drew's fingers skimmed Nick's nose. "Let me stay."

"Don't let Jeff come over here."

"I won't."

"Make Brian go away."

"Why?"

"He's mean."

"He loves you."

"I don't like him."

Brian left the bed.

Nick held onto Drew.

"I miss Brian now," Drew said.

"He's mean."

"I won't let him hurt you."

"We don't need him."

"How will we make love with just two people?"

"I know."

"What?"

"Get your brother."

"Nick?"

"Yeah. Him."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes."

Nick walked over to the bed. Climbed in behind Nick.

Nick scooted back against Nick. "I'm staying here."

"All right," Drew said.

"Go play with Brian."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes. Go ahead. I'll stay here."

"All right." Drew kissed him. "I'll go make sure Brian's all right without you." Drew left the bed.

Nick rolled over and settled into Nick's embrace. Closed his eyes. Sighed. "This is good. I'm staying here."

Nick smoothed a hand down his back.

"I love you. Don't tell anybody."

"I love you, too," Nick said.

"I'm going to sleep."

"Okay."

"Stay with me."

"Okay."

Howie opened his door. "Hi."

"Hi," Justin said. "Is Chris in here?"

"No," Chris said from the bed. "What do you want? Don't tell me you ran out of lube."

"Chris, can we borrow your room?" Justin asked.

"My room?" Chris asked, sitting up. "What's wrong with yours?"

"There aren't any sheets on it. Or blankets. Or anything."

"What'd you do to them?" Chris asked. "Eat them?"

"JC's so hot they caught fire and burned up," Justin said. "Can we use your room tonight?"

"I think Joey's in it."

"No, he's in Lance's room."

"Why is he in Lance's room?"

"Why would he be in your room?"

"Use Joey's room."

"Lance is in it."

"What?"

"Can we use your room or not?"

"I have a headache," Chris said.

Howie handed Justin Chris's room key. "Anything else?"

"That's it. Thanks," Justin said.

"Don't burn up Joey's stuff," Chris said.

"It's in your room?" Justin asked.

"It was."

Justin paused. "Even his camcorder?"

matthew@matthewtime.com
"Together" Part Eighteen
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