Together Part 15

Together, seventh in "Living"

Rating: NC-17 for graphic male-male sex

Disclaimer: The young men who comprise the Backstreet Boys, *NSYNC, and 98 Degrees are their own people. The author has not met anyone here described, nor does the author mean to suggest that these people act this way in real life. This writing is a work of fiction. I make no money from this venture.

Dedication: This slashfic is for Ewan McGregor and the Savage Garden slashers.

Notice: There are six stories that come before this one. Read those first. I'll wait.

Warning: "Together" includes depictions of, discussion of, and references to, consensual incest.

Together we have seen -"The Answer to Our Life"

"Together" Part Fifteen:
The jury's here, so let's take the stand -"The Answer to Our Life"

"Baby, I know you're hurting."

Yes. Hurting. He was hurting. He'd loved Lance. He loved Lance.

"Right now you feel like you could never love again."

Go through that pain? Try again, for what? Put himself out there, make himself vulnerable, and walk out bruised and beaten. He wanted to, he wanted to love, he wanted to have that, but he was scared. He could feel himself at the point, on the line, at the edge. Either he'd fall back into it again, or he'd walk away forever. He needed a push. He needed help.

"Now all I ask is for a chance to prove..."

A chance. All he wanted. One chance.

"...that I love you."

One chance.

Green eyes.

He closed his eyes, leaning in, parting his lips, letting his tongue find hot, wet acceptance.

Jeff couldn't sleep. If he couldn't get laid, at least he should be able to make out and get cosy. But, no. Nick was pretending to sleep and wouldn't let him get any closer.

Jeff sat up. Glared at Nick through the darkness. Hit Nick with his pillow, a nice, clean whack to the side of the head. Maybe that would flatten one of those ears, hunh, Nick?

Nick sat up and grabbed Jeff's pillow from his hands, then hauled off and smacked him with it.

Jeff was not letting Nick get away with that.

Justin sat up and rubbed at his eyes. That had been one good orgasm. He was going to have to screw JC a lot more often.

That went without saying.

He wasn't sure why he was awake. Either something had disturbed him, or his subconscious was trying to remind him of something. Something. Uh, what?

He'd just go back to sleep.

He settled down with JC again, sliding in comfortably. He kissed JC's cheek. "I love you, JC."

JC held him closer.

"Good night, baby." He closed his eyes and slept.

Glitter on Brian.

Pretty Brian.

So pretty...

Mmm...

He wanted to make love to pretty Brian.

Nick would help him if he asked.

He rubbed his cheek against Nick's shoulder. Naked shoulder. Nick wasn't wearing clothes. Brian had taken off Nick's clothes before. And Brian wasn't wearing clothes. But he was wearing clothes. He didn't want to be wearing clothes.

Naked Nick. Beautiful Nick. Beautiful Brian. Brian was blue and Nick was gold and oh... Soft boy skin. Soft, pretty boy skin. Soft, pretty boy mouth. Hard, pretty boy cock. Suck the pretty boy until he screamed.

So pretty...

Mmm...

Make love to the pretty boy. Make love to beautiful Brian.

Howie on top of him, kissing his mouth. Soft curtain of hair against his cheek. Howie kissed his neck and he gave serious thought to getting Howie naked.

"Backstreet Boys suck."

"That's right."

"Second-rate, classless, arrogant..."

"Ugly," Joey suggested.

"Ugly," Lance agreed. "Arrogant, ugly, self-centered..."

"We're better."

"We are so much better."

"In every way."

"Sing better."

"Better-looking."

"We have morals," Lance added.

"A big plus."

"Backstreet Boys suck."

"BSB. Bastard Sons of Bitches. Let's get drunk and go kick AJ's butt."

"Kick Howie's butt."

"Kick Backstreet Boy butt. BSB. Butt-ugly Sin-ugly Bastards."

"I hate Backstreet Boys," Lance said.

"Me, too."

"Hate AJ."

"Yes."

"Hate Howie."

"Amen."

"Hate Nick."

"Preach it, brother."

"Hate Brian."

"That's right."

"Hate Kevin."

"Do I hear an amen?"

"Backstreet Boys suck."

"Lord, yes."

"Brian's okay."

"For a Backstreet Boy."

"Kevin's okay."

"He's straight."

"You're straight."

"Bet you wish you were."

"Do I ever."

Broad shoulders, strong musculature, long limbs. Silken skin flowed beneath AJ's hands, pale and pure.

Jeff wrestled Nick over the edge of the bed and down to the floor, riding naked muscle, feeling Nick struggle against him.

His pillow was out of reach, but Nick's pillow was - - whap! - - right here for the taking.

Never let it be said that Jeff didn't believe in foreplay.

Brian's touch had left blue sparkles in Nick's blond hair.

Drew had kept trying to put glitter on Brian's balls, but Nick had managed to distract him from that idea.

They'd made Brian blue. They'd made love.

Now Brian and Drew were curled up, asleep, dusted with glitter, an otherworldly creature and his mortal lover.

Nick had only cried a very little.

AJ gasped like a virgin at the first push of Kevin's finger. When he moaned and jacked his hips, wanting more, green eyes flared with greed.

I promise you / As a lover and a friend -"I Promise You"

The phone was ringing.

Justin pulled the covers over his head.

Then he remembered that he was on vacation. He could sleep whenever he wanted. He wasn't dead tired from last night's concert or from the strain and stress of touring. In fact, he felt pretty relaxed.

That didn't explain why the phone was ringing.

He pushed back the covers and sat up, making sure his eyes were open, scratching his chin. "This is Justin."

He listened.

His left hand gripped the receiver.

His right hand went to his scars.

The phone rang in Brian's room first.

No one was there to answer it.

The phone rang in Drew's room second.

Drew burrowed into Nick in denial, then accepted that the phone really was ringing, and crawled over Brian. "Hello. Yes, he's right here." Then Drew remembered. And stared. There was blue glitter everywhere. On the sheets. On him. On Nick. Most definitely on Brian.

Brian.

His Brian.

His husband.

His beautiful, blessed, romantic, silly, talented, loving-

Oh. The phone.

He didn't have the heart to wake Brian.

But it had sounded important.

He ran his fingertips over Brian's cheek, transferring glitter. Brian turned towards his touch. He whispered Brian's name. Blue eyes opened. Drew's heart was pounding. Brian smiled.

Oh...

Drew melted. Dropped the receiver and gazed at Brian in rapture.

Brian picked up the phone. "Hello? Yes, this is Brian."

Blue eyes closed.

Drew felt fear.

Brian hung up the phone and turned, resting his forehead on slumbering Nick's shoulder. "Frack, wake up," he whispered. His hand ran over Nick's naked back. "Wake up, sweetheart."

Drew didn't want to know.

The phone was ringing.

JC leaned across Justin, dropping a kiss on Justin's temple on the way. "Hello? Yes?"

Justin wriggled closer.

JC cupped the back of Justin's head with his free hand, closing his eyes and pressing his lips to disordered curls. While he listened, he concentrated on Justin's perfect, even breaths.

"No," Justin said. "No, we'll take care of it. We don't need agents and managers for this. Give us time to ourselves first."

He had to tell Nick and Jeff and Drew.

Would the Backstreet Boys people notify Kevin or Brian? If they called Brian, then Brian would have told Drew already.

He was sure the *NSYNC people would tell JC first. JC would want to be the one to break it to Justin, to control when and where and how Justin knew.

He had to get to Nick and Jeff first. Then Drew.

He hated the fact that he was afraid to leave his room.

Brian was wiping sparkles from Nick's cheeks. Nick was holding Drew tighter and tighter. "Last night there was a problem outside. No one was hurt. There was a group of people. They didn't tell me how many. There was a group of people trying to carry weapons through the crowd."

"Weapons," Drew repeated.

"Guns," Brian said. "Someone alerted the police, and the crowd was searched, and-"

"The whole crowd?"

"They had to. They couldn't afford to miss anyone."

"No one's hurt."

"No one."

"Did they get all of the people?"

"They think so."

"You don't know how many."

"She wouldn't tell me."

"Were they here to kill us or the people outside or both?"

"Drew-"

"All of us, or just the ones who love members of our own gender?"

"Drew-"

"I'd hate for an innocent fan to be killed, or for Justin to get hurt, while we're eradicating evil."

"Drew."

"One person with one gun is too many. That's too much hatred and too much-"

Brian wrapped strong, shimmering arms around him.

"But more than one person, more than one gun, the intention, the planning, to sit down and plan to-" His voice choked. "Why do they want to kill me for loving you?"

"They don't know you," Brian whispered. "They don't know you and they don't understand."

Drew closed his eyes. Who could understand this kind of love?

JC hung up the phone.

Justin felt JC's embrace. "Who was it?" He wanted to go back to sleep. He'd been having a good dream. "JC?" Now he was getting the silent treatment. He pushed and pulled and looked at JC's face. "JC. What's wrong? What happened?"

"Justin." JC stroked the side of his face. "Justin."

"JC, what?"

"Nobody's hurt, baby. Nobody's going to hurt you."

"JC." He didn't want to hear this, didn't want this to be happening, not again. Not again.

"They were found, they were stopped. The police are encouraging people to leave, to go home."

"It's not safe here."

"It's not safe anywhere, baby. I'm sorry."

"Oh god, JC, what are we going to do?"

"I'll love you forever, Justin. I love you. I'll do anything for you. I'll leave you before I see you killed for me."

"No, JC. You're not leaving me. I'm bi and I love you and that's not changing. And you're not going anywhere. There's no divorcing me, no splitting up *NSYNC. We can't let them win. We can't let them do that to us."

"I have to tell the guys."

"I'm coming with you. Don't leave me alone."

"I won't, baby. We'll be together, Justin." JC kissed him gently. "I love you."

Justin knocked on Nick and Jeff's door. "Guys, it's me."

Jeff pushed Nick out of bed without opening his eyes.

Nick grabbed Jeff by the ankles and dragged him over the side of the bed, dropping him onto the floor. "Justin's at the door." Nick jumped out of the way just in time to avoid being seized in a very sensitive place. He kicked Jeff and tried to find clothes. Jeff debated crawling back into bed.

Jeans. Good enough. It was only Justin. Nick opened the door. "Hey."

Justin cupped Nick's chin, then squeezed Nick's shoulder, then entered the room. "Something happened last night."

"What? What's wrong?" Nick asked.

Jeff joined them, buttoning his jeans. "Hey."

"No one was hurt, but there were... In the crowd, there were..." He didn't know how to say it. He didn't want to say it.

"No one was hurt," Jeff repeated.

"Are you sure?" Nick asked.

"That's what they told me," Justin said.

Nick's arm went around Jeff's waist. "Everyone's okay," he said, to make sure.

"They were found and stopped before they could do anything. Our security's serious. They searched the whole crowd, everyone out there, and now they're telling people to go home. I wish they'd go home. Their support means a lot, but their safety means more."

Jeff stepped foward and hugged Justin. "You should listen to your own advice sometime, man."

He realized what Jeff meant. "I'm not leaving you. Nothing's worth that."

"Your life," Nick said.

"This is my life."

Drew showered, scrubbing off the glitter, watching it spin towards the drain.

Lance groaned and hit Joey.

Joey hit Lance.

"Door."

"You get it."

"Your room."

Lance tried to remember whose room they were in.

"Chris's room," Joey remembered.

"Make him get it," Lance said.

"He's not here."

"Go find him."

"He's with Howie."

"I hate Howie."

"Howie sucks."

"Backstreet Boys suck."

"Get the door."

"Make the Backstreet Boys get it."

"There aren't any here."

"Thank god."

Chris was braiding Howie's hair. His hands were full of silken strands when someone knocked at the door. He couldn't answer the door because he was busy, and Howie couldn't answer the door without being scalped. "Who is it?" Chris yelled.

"Brian," Brian said.

"JC," JC said.

"It's important," Brian said.

Chris paused, then let Howie's hair slide through his fingers. A waterfall, a curtain. He didn't want to answer the door.

Kevin was running his fingers over the ink on AJ's back. AJ was asleep. All of that dark promise, dangerous attitude, seduction, potency, was biding its time, waiting, coiling and collecting as AJ rested, ready to rise and possess the moment AJ wakened.

Long, dark lashes. Dark eyes. Dark ink. Dark hair. Dark, dark, dark. Tension. Self-defense. But AJ had intelligence and maturity. Kevin knew that. And talent. Being onstage with AJ, working alongside that sheer performer...

Knock on the door. Brian. "Kevin?"

Kevin slid from the bed, finding pants, opening the door.

"Something's happened. We're meeting in the lounge. Do you know where AJ is?"

Brian looked bad. Scared and ready to fight. Worried about not being able to find AJ. "He's in here. We'll be down in a second. Are you okay?"

Brian hugged him.

If something had happened, something deadly serious, to Nick or Howie or Drew or anyone, Brian wouldn't be this carefully calm. The fact that Brian was able to keep it together meant that yes, it was bad, but it was something they could handle. Kevin took comfort from that while he could.

Brian let go. Looked into his eyes. "Do you want to talk about it?"

Brian knew. Of course Brian knew. "This is more important."

"Later." Brian squeezed him and left.

He closed the door. Locked it and felt no more secure.

"Was that Brian?" AJ asked, mostly asleep and not really caring.

"Something's wrong." He couldn't keep the ominous tone from his voice. He hated himself for that, for saying it like that, for having opened the door, for not knowing what to do. He didn't know how to break bad news, especially news he didn't understand. He didn't know how to treat AJ. He was used to dealing with AJ his friend, AJ his brother, AJ his work partner, AJ the second-most frustrating, annoying person he wanted to strangle on the planet. He didn't know how to deal with AJ, the person with whom he'd just had sex.

Made love.

Had sex.

Made love.

He wasn't sure.

He hated not being sure.

Everything had made sense a moment ago.

"Wrong?" AJ asked.

He held back a bitter, "I'm sure Lance is fine." He had no business there. Instead, he said, "We're meeting in the lounge. You'd better get dressed."

Nick sat on the corner of the lounge sofa and kept a firm hold on Drew. When Nick and Jeff and Justin came in, and Drew got up to hug them and talk to them, he curled his hands into tight fists and tried not to drag Drew back into his embrace.

Brian would be back any second now.

Any second.

Talking with the rest of 98 Degrees, Drew stepped closer to him. He stood, behind Drew, wrapping his arms around Drew, resting his chin on Drew's hair. Drew rubbed a hand over his forearm, comforting. Reassuring. He was still here and Drew was still here.

Brian was back. Talking with Howie, off to one side. Nick frowned. Something was up. Howie glanced around the room. Who were they talking about? Brian caught his eye, and that was enough. Brian was here, was okay, would tell him in a minute. Nick went back to holding Drew.

Chris sat between Joey and Justin on the sofa. He hugged Justin, turned and hugged Joey, then reached over Joey and hugged Lance. "Everybody okay?"

"Yeah," Joey said, reaching behind Chris to rub Justin's back. "We're okay."

"You seen AJ?" Lance asked.

"No," Chris said. Justin made a very small noise. Chris looked up; JC was in the room. Talking with Justin Jeffre. And here came AJ, with Kevin. That made fourteen. Everyone was here.

Now what?

Justin, Chris, Joey, and Lance on one sofa. Kevin, AJ, and Howie standing in the corner. Nick was near them, sitting on the floor, wrapped around Drew. Jeff was standing nearby, jaw tight, arms crossed over his chest. Nick was beside Jeff, one hand on Jeff's back. JC, Brian, and Justin were standing together, making sure that they'd all heard the same version of events.

"Does anybody know how many there were?" Joey asked.

"Or what they had?" Lance asked.

"Guns," Kevin said.

"What kind?" Lance asked. "Handguns or-"

"Taking on a crowd that size, trying to do damage, I'd say assault rifles," AJ said. "Semi-automatic."

"Like...like what they..." Chris stopped talking.

Drew tensed. Nick lowered his forehead to Drew's shoulder, closing his eyes, inhaling.

"What are we going to do?" Joey asked.

"What can we do?" AJ asked. "Nothing."

"They come here to kill people, they come here and - - I've seen that rip through my best friend, my brother, and my husband, don't you tell me there's nothing we can do!"

"What are we supposed to do?" AJ demanded. "Stand here and take it? Back down and hide?"

"We can't live like this," Chris said.

"We've been living like this," Drew said.

"Years pass and nothing changes," Lance said.

"We've changed," Brian said.

"They haven't," Joey said.

"They will," Justin Timberlake Chasez said. "They have to."

"This is personal," JC said. "We each have to decide for ourselves. And we have to respect whatever we decide. Everyone in this room, every last one of us, has the right to walk out right now. If I had Justin's permission, I can tell you, I would be out that door this second. You can leave right now and we will support you."

No one moved.

"We have our own stories to tell," Brian said. "We have ourselves. We each have a four-person or five-person unit, family, to belong to and believe in and stand for. And we have each other, the fourteen of us together. We're in this together. I'm here as myself, as a Backstreet Boy, as a bisexual man, as a human being, as Brian Littrell, as Brian Carter Littrell Lachey. I will not let anyone scare me into running away from that. Nothing can make me leave the Backstreet Boys. No one will make me walk away from my husband. And anyone who hurts Nick..."

Jeff couldn't remember seeing Brian's jaw do that before.

"It is everyone's choice to be here," Justin Jeffre said. "It's not anyone's choice to be gay or bisexual. I can't see ever letting someone convince me to leave 98 Degrees. We've been through a lot, they've been through a hell of a lot, and there's no way I'm backing out now. Sometimes I feel like this shouldn't be my fight, like I don't have the right. But these guys are my friends, my family, and I'll stand up for them any day of the week."

"What do we do now?" Justin asked.

"Keep on going," Kevin said.

"Sing and dance. Make love and be merry," Chris said.

"We're here for each other, and we have people out there watching out for us," JC said.

"As long as we have their support, and as long as we have each other, we'll make it through this," Brian said.

"Does anyone else have a Hallmark card to recite?" Joey asked.

Lance hit Joey. Joey hit Justin. Justin hit Chris. Chris tossed a throw pillow at Howie. Howie whapped AJ with it. AJ hit his mark. "Oh my god we're back again."

"I'm original," Chris said.

"I'm the only one," Justin said.

"I'm sexual," JC said.

"I'll say," Lance said.

"Backstreet Boys suck," Joey said.

"So well," Nick Carter agreed, licking his lips, smiling to himself.

"So, so well," AJ said. "Mmm. Make me shiver."

"You, I hate," Chris said.

"That's fair," AJ said.

Nick squeezed Drew and kissed Drew's shoulder. They'd be okay. They were okay. He had Drew and Brian. He had Howie and AJ and Kevin. He had Jeff and Nick. He had JC and Justin. He even had Justin Jeffre and the three loser Syncs.

Last night, people had come to kill them.

He'd been making love with Drew, making Brian blue.

No one could touch that.

Drew had been shot before. Could be shot again. They could be hurt. They could be killed. But last night, he'd always have last night.

Lance didn't know anymore.

He loved AJ.

The more he expressed that love, the more of a target he was.

Could he deny that love in favor of fear?

Should he stand by AJ for the sake of showing he wasn't afraid?

Did he want to spend this precious life fighting for something he didn't believe in anymore?

Did he want to spend this precious life away from AJ?

He didn't trust AJ. Didn't know if he wanted to be with AJ. Didn't know if there was something else out there for him.

With people out to kill them, he didn't dare waste time.

But he didn't know.

Backstreet Boys sucked.

Lance was still having AJ issues.

Chris was with Howie.

Maybe if you spent too much time around Backstreet Boys, something happened to your brain.

That was the only explanation.

Joey wasn't going anywhere near those guys.

God, Brian was cute.

Joey grabbed Chris's chin and stared into Chris's eyes. "Are my pupils turning yellow?"

"No," Chris said. "Red, though."

"No! I knew it! It's happening! I have to get out of here. Cover me." He turned and clutched Lance. "You're coming with me while there's still a chance!" He rushed for the door, dragging Lance. "Save yourself if you can!" he shouted at Justin Jeffre, then took off down the hallway.

"I'm not with him," Chris said.

"Never met him," Justin Timberlake Chasez agreed. Since JC was the whole way over there, he leaned against Chris, getting comfortable.

"Straight men," Chris said, and rolled his eyes.

"I don't know," Justin said. "He did kiss me."

"Can I kiss you?" Chris asked.

"Sure," Justin said.

"No," JC said.

"Make that no," Justin said to Chris. "I'm assuming you can kiss Howie, though. If you want."

"Why you'd want," Nick Carter muttered to no one in particular. Howie reached down and hit him in the back of the head. He hit Howie back and said, "Don't mess with me or Drew will kick your ass."

"Don't mess with Nick or Drew will kick your ass," AJ said. "That works. Don't mess with Howie or Chris will kick your ass, now, that doesn't work."

"Sorry," Chris said to Howie.

"Don't mess with JC or Justin," AJ said. "Period."

"Took you long enough," Justin said.

"You wouldn't want to kiss Howie?" Chris asked Nick.

"Hello," Nick said. "Do you see this right here? Drew, smile for the nice man. Do you see that over there? Brian, wave to Chris. You think I'd want Howie? You don't leave the five-star, seven-course dinner and stop for a Sno-Cone on the way home."

"Sno-Cone?" Howie demanded. "I'm a Sno-Cone? Kevin, stop laughing."

"Howie Dorough is no Sno-Cone," Chris said. "You want to talk dessert, let's talk Kevin the Jell-O and Brian the Rice Krispie Treat. Bland white bread American."

"Jell-O?" Kevin repeated.

"Without any Cool Whip on top," Chris added.

"Brian is a Rice Krispie Treat," Drew said.

"Kick his ass, Drew," Nick urged.

"Brian is a Rice Krispie Treat." Drew stood.

"Run for it," Justin whispered to Chris.

"Brian. My Brian. My husband, Brian Thomas Carter Littrell Lachey, is a Rice Krispie Treat."

"You're on your own." Justin left the sofa in favor of JC's side.

Drew stood over Chris and crossed his arms over his chest. "You have two seconds to take that back, Kirkpatrick."

"Or what?" Chris asked, standing. He was taller than Drew, at least.

"Kick his ass, Drew!" Nick said.

"Or your bones," Drew said, "go snap. Crackle. Pop."

"Oh, yeah?" Chris asked.

"Yeah!" Nick shouted.

"Short boy and loudmouth gonna kick my butt?" Chris asked.

"Short boy could take you on solo, no problem, no contest," Drew said. "His name is Nick and you'll learn to respect it. And are you two slow today or do I have to give you better cues?" Drew asked, looking over his shoulder at Nick and Jeff. "Get your lazy butts over here and show the man some muscle. I'm working the intimidation factor here."

Nick and Jeff hustled over to flank Drew, crossing their arms over their chests.

"Thank you," Drew said. "Now. Who's a Rice Krispie Treat?"

"Besides you?" Chris asked.

"Ooohhh," Justin said.

"Bad move, Chris," Kevin said.

"You mess with Brian, Drew kicks your ass," Nick said, standing. "You mess with Drew, I'll kick your ass. The only Rice Krispie Treat around here is your brain, you small old man. I'm gonna beat you till you can turn a cartwheel standing still. You think you can mess with my Drew? You think you can mess with the Backstreet Boys? I'll tell you something, short and stupid. You fuck with my people, I," Nick pointed to himself, "am gonna fuck your people."

Chris followed the line of Nick's arm to where it pointed to Howie.

"Shit," AJ said.

"Howie wouldn't touch you," Chris said.

"There's nobody in this room who wouldn't touch me," Nick said. "Half the people in this room have touched me plenty. You want names?"

"Nick," Brian said, coming closer and putting his hands on Nick's arm. "We're going to leave now, before anyone decides to do bad things to you. Come on. You can yell at Chris later if you want. The more people think I'm a Rice Krispie Treat, the more fun you can have knowing how buck wild I am in bed."

"Buck wild," Chris repeated.

"Have fun with your Sno-Cone," Drew said to Chris, taking Nick's hand, running his fingers down Brian's back. The three of them left.

"Nice," Justin said.

JC looked at Justin.

"What?"

"Buck wild," Chris said. "Buck wild my foot."

"If anyone's buck wild in bed, it's JC," Justin said.

JC looked at Justin.

"What?"

"Buck wild," AJ repeated, looking JC over. "Buck...wild."

"Hey," Justin said.

AJ tilted his head to one side.

"Stop that," Justin said.

"I'm not doing anything," AJ said.

"You're looking at JC and thinking about having sex with him and don't you dare think about having sex with JC."

"Buck wild," AJ murmured. "Mmm. I'll bet." He licked his lips.

JC put a restraining hand on Justin's arm. "Nothing you could handle," JC said to AJ.

"JC is not for amateurs and you," Justin gave AJ a disgusted look, "are an amateur."

"Does that mean that you're a professional?" AJ asked.

"Whoa, no, no," Jeff said, helping Nick step between AJ and death. "Let's break up this party. Will the Jell-O please escort Mr. Begging for Trouble back to his room before Mr. and Mr. Timberlake Chasez end his singing career. You take your Sno-Cone and stop talking about other people's dessert. I know you're jealous, but we can't all have Brian, so make do with what you can get."

"What are you doing?" Nick asked Jeff.

"Everyone else is picking a fight, I can, too," Jeff said.

"You know nobody's going to take you on."

"You can try."

"I can try," Nick repeated. "I can try. Try? I could beat you until you turn a cartwheel standing still."

Jeff laughed. "What was that?"

"I'm not the only one who thought that made no sense?"

"Come on," Jeff said, looping an arm around Nick's waist. "Let's go see who's really buck wild." In the doorway, he turned and looked at Justin Jeffre. "You coming or what?"

"Short and stupid," Chris muttered, fitting the key into the lock. "It's short and sweet. Short and sweet. You're Sweet D., and AJ used to call me short and sweet back in the days before he was fucking you and I hate this door!"

Howie took the key from his hand.

"People are trying to kill us and you're off screwing other people! Get your priorities in order, Howie. You love me you stick with me and that's it, or I'm, I... I'm not getting killed for you if you're not worth getting killed for."

"You're not getting killed for anything," Howie said. "Anything." He held onto Chris. "I'm not worth dying for, Chris. I'm not. I do love you, and I'm here. I'm here and I love you."

"Stay that way or I'll kill you myself."

"Okay," Howie said. "Okay."

"God damn it."

"Ssshhh."

"I hate you. I hate this door. I hate AJ. I hate Nick. Touch him and I'll snap crackle pop you."

"I'm not sleeping with Nick. I'm not going to sleep with Nick."

"I don't know why anyone wants to kill us. We're a bunch of self-absorbed idiots."

"I know." Howie kissed him.

"Why do people waste their time on us?"

"We're good-looking."

"Then how do you explain Kevin's fans?"

"I don't know."

"I would have died for him," AJ said. "I still might. By choice or by force."

Kevin leaned one shoulder against the wall.

"I love Lance. I love Lance," AJ repeated. "I love Lance. I love Lance. Am I with him? No. Did I sleep in his bed? No. Do I want to see him? No. Yes. No. There's no point. There's nothing there. He has his own life. It's not about me. And look at me. I missed Lance, and I slept with Howie. I missed Lance, and I went to you, and you gave me something I didn't know I needed. I was with you and I felt something I didn't know I could feel. I love Lance and I love Howie and I love you and it's a different love. Howie's my best friend and Lance is, was... My beautiful porn baby..."

Kevin hated AJ. Hated Lance. Hated himself.

"I remember. I was talking to Howie, I think it was when I first got with Lance, and I said that the damage your own kind can do to you is the worst. Something like that. And I meant Lance, because I'm a man and he's a man. The more like you someone is, the more he knows you, understands you. The more vulnerable you are. The more he knows how to hurt you. And you. You're a Backstreet Boy."

"Yes."

AJ threw himself onto his back across the bed. "I love Howie, he's my best friend. I love Lance, I'll never be with him again. I love you. You don't even like me half of the time."

"It's over with Lance?"

"He has my ring. I don't want it back." AJ rubbed his eyes. "He can keep it. Toss it. It doesn't mean what I wanted it to mean. We don't mean what I wanted us to mean."

Kevin waited. He wanted to hear more.

"Opposites attract. Lance and I are too opposite. There's nothing to keep us together. Love? Sex? Our pretend image of that connection? We did connect, we were connected. And when we are together, we're there. But when we're separated, we separate. That's not good enough. That's not strong enough. We're stronger than that. We shouldn't be doing that. But we keep doing it. It's time to understand what that means." He groaned and scratched his forehead and stretched, showing off the long curve of his spine. He sighed. "What about you, Kevin?"

"I don't even like you half the time." He stepped forward. "I love you all of the time."

"Is that why you fucked me last night?"

"Yes."

"How long you been waiting to get me in your bed, Kevin?"

"A long time." He walked to the bed.

"Thought you were straight."

"I was. I am," he corrected, climbing on top of AJ. "I don't know."

"What do you know?" AJ asked, pulling up his shirt to expose his navel, letting Kevin's hand cover his bared skin.

"I want you," Kevin said, and kissed him.

"Call Brian a Rice Krispie Treat," Nick muttered. "Chris can suck my dick. No, he can't suck my dick, because Brian sucks my dick, and Brian does it a whole huge fucking lot better than Chris can. I'd like to see Chris try to melt Drew. Melt Drew like melted marshmallows on a fucking Rice Krispie Treat. Brian is one sexy motherfucker and don't you forget it."

"One sexy motherfucker," Drew repeated.

"Stop swearing," Nick said. "Bad Drew."

"Sorry."

"I don't know where you pick up these things."

"My brother's a bad influence."

"You can say that again." Nick sat on the middle of the bed and bared his feet. "You see him?"

"Brian."

"You know what he is?"

"One sexy mother-"

"A pixie."

"A pixie," Drew agreed.

"You want to help me catch a pixie?"

"Here, pixie!"

"Not like that!" Nick swatted Drew.

"That won't make the pixie come?"

"I know how to make a pixie come." Nick grinned. "I'm good at making pixies come."

"Show me."

"Sit and be quiet. Pay attention."

Drew folded his hands in his lap.

"Pixies like necks." Nick lifted his chin. "I used to have a..."

"Long, slender, pretty boy neck."

"Right. But now I have a long, man's neck. Pixies love necks. Very good pixie feeding ground."

Drew tried to keep his hands to himself. He liked Nick's neck, too.

"Pixies like pretty boys. They like pretty boy skin." Nick held out his forearm, and Drew wanted to touch the skin inside Nick's elbow. "They like soft mouths." Nick pouted. Drew tried not to drool. "Now we lure the pixie."

"Lure the pixie," Drew repeated, and sat on his hands.

"We need bait."

"You're bait."

"Used to be jailbait, and Brian still couldn't keep his hands to himself. Pervert."

Drew smiled.

"You be the bait."

"Me?"

"I'm going to catch him. I need you to lure him."

"Me?"

"Pay attention. Be sexy."

"Sexy?"

"That's good. Now do the mouth thing. Give me some pout. Oh, nice." Nick kissed him. "Lean back on your elbow. Tilt your hips a little. Drew, do you want to lure the pixie or not? Now tilt your hips. Good bait. Here, show more skin. Don't give me that face. You're the one who acts like you're allergic to shirtsleeves. Always showing off your muscles. Oh, good. Stubborn Drew pout, good, that'll get him. Stay put." Nick slid off of the bed and hid behind the sofa.

Brian hung up the phone and ran his hand over his hair. Turned. Saw Drew. Started walking towards the bed. "Where's Nick?"

Drew pouted to distract Brian. He didn't know how to lure pixies. He tried to think baitlike thoughts. But bait didn't think. And he was fairly sure that Brian was attracted to his personality. Well, not that Brian loved him for his mind. Not his mind alone, anyway. But love like Brian's went farther than skin-deep, and he knew that Brian loved him for himself, not just his, uh...yeah.

"What are you thinking about?" Brian asked, genuinely curious.

"How much you love me." His hips had lost their provocative tilt. He tried to make up for it by spreading his thighs a little. Bingo. Brian started crawling onto the bed. Now what? He glanced left.

Nick motioned him down.

He relaxed, settling on his back. Brian crawled closer, on top of him. He peeked. Nick made kissing faces. He licked his lips and Brian leaned in, lips parting, lashes lowering, head tilting. Oh. Brian. Yes...mmm... One hand rose and slid down Brian's back as he opened his mouth for Brian's tongue.

Drew liked being the bait.

He forgot about the pixie catcher.

"I love you," Brian said, kissing him. "Drew, I love you."

Yes... Brian... He breathed and made love to Brian's mouth and bent one knee, rubbing his hips up against Brian. Oh. He was hard. And Brian was hard. He wanted to touch that. He did. Brian moaned. Brian was one sexy motherfucker. Oh...

Oof!

Drew blinked. Brian was beside him, flat back on the mattress, laughing. Nick had tackled and rolled and pinned, and now had Brian's shirt pushed up and was nuzzling Brian's stomach.

Nick sat back, smiling. "Come here, pixie."

"Nick." Brian was still laughing.

"C'mere, pixie." Nick stood and crooked a finger. "C'mon, pixie."

"Nick-"

Nick dove and tickled and squeezed and then ran off. "Pixie!"

Brian chased him. They ran around the room, Nick darting in to attack before shouting "Pixie!" and darting back again. Brian tickled him right back and even snuck in a kiss or two. Nick led Brian back to Drew, who received a few quick pixie kisses and one purely accidental Nick grope. The pixie hunt ended when Brian pounced on Nick, pushing him onto the sofa and nibbling his neck.

Nick's back arched, eyes closed, throat exposed. "Oh, god, Brian, teeth..."

Drew's jaw dropped.

Nick's hand slid down over Brian's ass. He winced, moaned, bit his lip. Soft, pink lip. Drew's mouth watered.

Drew tried to understand it, later. They were grown men. They went from serious to playful to horny to silly to emotional to the middle of a love scene in the blink of an eye. Were they possibly that shallow? No, just that in tune with each other. They knew precisely how to trip each other's mood. And Nick knew that the best way to catch a pixie was to make the pixie catch you.

He wrapped himself in JC and closed his eyes.

He'd made love with Lance. That had been hot and a half, seducing the base, sexual side out of his calm Lance.

He'd made love with Howie. Howie didn't need coaxing to turn up the heat, but AJ had learned how to tease some dynamite out of Howie's flawless performance.

Now he was making love with Kevin.

Two men getting off together.

Two friends getting off together.

Nothing more.

Except for the way his heart lurched when Kevin's fingertips ghosted over his skin.

Fuck it all, no. He was not getting involved again, he was not handing over his heart again, he was keeping it to himself. This was his life and he was going to live it, he was going to rule it. He was not letting anyone else take center stage.

And the moan, half eager and greedy for more, half rich satisfaction, that welled up within him when Kevin kissed him... That meant nothing. Pure sexual response.

He'd started it. He'd gone to Kevin. He'd pushed.

Who could have guessed that, when he started pushing, Kevin would start pulling?

He could have.

He had.

He'd known.

And he'd done it anyway.

And now he didn't know what to do.

He'd started something he wasn't prepared to follow through on, and boy was Kevin following through whether he liked it or not, dragging him along for the ride.

What a ride.

"Get the door," Nick said, pulling Brian's hair.

"Get the door," Brian said, poking Drew's shoulder.

"Get the door," Drew said, and yawned.

"Brian, get the door for Drew."

"Drew, get the door for Nick."

"Nick, get the door for Brian."

"It's your room," Nick said to Drew.

"And you can get up easiest," Brian said.

Nick snorted.

"That, too," Brian said.

"I'm comfortable here," Drew said.

"I think they're gone now, anyway," Nick said.

"No, we're standing out here listening to you," a voice called.

"Jeff!" Nick said, and stood, shoving Brian and Drew to the floor. "Why didn't you say so! I'll get it!" Nick hurried to the door, oblivious to Brian and Drew's injured glares. He opened the door. "Jeff! Come in, please, make yourself at home. In my bed. Justin! You may come in, too." He closed the door.

Jeff opened the door and let in his husband.

"Sorry, I didn't see you," Nick said to Nick.

"Yeah, I'm easy to miss," Nick said.

"We didn't mean to interrupt anything," Justin said.

"We just wanted to check on things," Jeff said.

"Make sure you're okay," Nick added.

"Go tell the nice men that you're fine," Nick told Drew. Brian, reseated on the sofa, pulled Nick to his side to give 98 Degrees a moment alone. "Group hug," Nick advised, then let himself be quiet.

"Group hug," Jeff agreed, opening his arms. Justin smiled; Nick rolled his eyes; Drew hit Nick. They had a group hug, and individual hugs, and quiet murmurs of affection and concern to re-establish their bond, reassuring themselves that yes, they were okay.

Nick hugged his brother; Drew closed his eyes. Then they remembered themselves and pulled apart too soon.

"Guys," Justin said. "It's okay. I'll be over here talking to Jeff not seeing a thing."

Nick blushed, and Drew smiled. They embraced again, longer. And then their hands began to slide, and their affection changed, and there was no mistaking that nuzzle.

Justin pretended not to notice when they started kissing.

"Justin." JC closed his eyes. "I love you."

Justin wrapped his arms around JC. "It's okay, baby."

"I love you."

Justin closed his eyes and tried to free JC's pain.

"I love you."

"I know, JC." He rubbed a comforting hand over JC's naked back.

"Justin."

"Josh." He was here to stay.

Howie's naked foot was in his lap. Chris let his forefinger trace the graceful lines. He didn't know how Howie managed to have attractive feet. Oh, that was right. Backstreet Boys couldn't dance.

They were talking. Talking. Nothing important. But when their eyes met, he felt Howie inside. Inside himself.

It had nothing to do with hair or sex or AJ or anything else. It was the two of them, complete and alone. All of the love and mystery and beauty in Howie's eyes, the patronizing perfection, it didn't mean what he'd thought it meant. Howie was Howie. Human. Flawed. Real.

His.

Lance kept staring at Joey.

Joey kept ignoring him.

...

"What?!"

"You're straight."

"Yes. We're a dying breed."

"You're straight. People are coming to kill us, and they could kill you. You could be dead. You could be shot. Hurt. Hated. Because you're with us."

"You just noticed?"

"Joey. You could die."

"Yes."

"Die."

"I know." He let Lance clutch the hem of his shirt.

"For us."

"Yes."

"You would die for us."

"Yes."

Lance stared at him.

He let Lance stare.

"Joey."

"Yes, Lance?"

"I love you more than I love AJ."

"Thanks."

"In a different way."

"He gives you orgasms. It's okay."

"You should be gay."

"Lance, I am not having sex with you."

Lance smiled. "You kissed Justin."

"I did? Oh. Once."

"You want to kiss me?"

"No."

"Why not?"

"Don't get offended."

"You'll kiss Justin and not me?"

"It's just Justin."

"So?"

"He's cute."

"I'm cute!"

"You are not. Ow! Ow, Lance, I didn't - - you're handsome. Attractive. Cute is different. Justin's cute."

"I'm handsome?"

"Don't start with the false modesty."

"You think I'm handsome."

"I think you're nuts."

"Thank you, Joey."

Joey blinked. "Sure. Any time." He wiped his mouth. "Didn't know I'd be getting tongue, too."

"You started it."

Jeff looked over again. Nick's hand was sliding down over Drew's ass, Drew's arms around Nick's neck, all of Nick's attention on making love to Drew's mouth.

Justin put his hand over his eyes.

On the sofa, Brian put his hand over Nick's mouth.

Ragged breathing. They stared into each other's eyes, lips parted, hearts pounding.

Unable to speak, Nick stared and thought at them very hard.

"Nick," Drew whispered, and one hand, of its own accord, slid down Nick's chest from one shoulder.

Nick pushed Brian's hand from his mouth. "Go for it, Drew!"

"Carter!" Nick said.

"Littrell," Drew added.

"Lachey," Justin said.

"You'd think he'd remember that last one," Jeff said.

"If you two want to have sex, we can wait," Nick said. "We'll just talk amongst ourselves. Go ahead." He grinned. "Go ahead. Give'm head."

"No fighting," Drew said, glaring at his brother.

"He started it!" Nick said. "At least let me retaliate."

"No," Drew said. "You have to be nice to Nick."

"Ha, ha," Nick gloated. "You have to be nice to me. Or Drew'll beat you up. Jeff, too. And Brian."

"Brian cannot beat me up," Nick said. "Neither can Drew."

"I can," Drew said.

"You have no chance. And I am not being nice to Nick. He always gets in my face and you always defend him."

"Drew likes me better," Nick said. "So does Jeff."

"Jeff does not like you better," Nick said.

"I don't know," Jeff said. "He is kind of cute."

"And you wonder why I don't let you get laid," Nick said. Then he turned red and backed up a few steps.

"You don't let Jeff get laid?" Nick asked.

"Since when?" Drew asked.

"You didn't give him any?" Nick asked. "Not any? Oh, poor Jeff! Nick, you cruel bastard." Nick left the sofa and put his hand on Jeff's shoulder. "If he ever neglects you again, you just come to me. I'll take good care of you, the way you deserve."

"I know you will," Jeff said, and rubbed a hand down Nick's back.

"Let's do it now," Nick suggested, a little breathless.

"You want to?" Jeff asked.

"Yeah," Nick said.

"No," Nick said sharply.

"Drew, keep him busy while I go fuck Jeff," Nick said without taking his eyes from Jeff's smile.

"While you what?!" Nick Timmons-Lachey demanded.

Nick leaned in just a bit, lips parting just a bit, hand sliding down just a bit from shoulder to chest.

Jeff beckoned Nick. With his tongue.

"Shit," Brian said.

"Brian!" Drew said. "What?"

"Did you see that?" Brian asked.

"I saw that," Justin said.

"What?" Drew asked. "What did I miss? Who's doing what?"

"Nothing," Jeff said, smiling up at Nick. "Fuck me," he mouthed.

"Is he allowed to do that?" Justin asked.

"What?" Drew asked.

"What is going on?!" Nick Timmons-Lachey demanded.

Jeff pulled his shirt over his head and tossed it in Justin's direction.

Nick dropped to his knees.

"No!" Nick shouted.

"Nick," Brian said.

Jeff ran his fingers through Nick's soft hair, letting Nick tongue-fuck his navel. "We should ditch them and run off together."

"Fuck yes," Nick breathed eagerly, letting his fingers roam up Jeff's body.

"Get him off of Jeff or I'll-"

Brian stood behind Nick and reached down, getting his hand beneath Nick's chin, tipping Nick's face back. "Hi."

Nick panted up at him. "Hi."

"We've talked about this."

"What?"

Brian let his thumb run over a wet, red lower lip. "Jeff is not yours to play with. Look, but don't touch."

"Touch," Nick disagreed.

Brian reached over and pried Nick's hands from Jeff's torso. "Come on. Come and sit with me."

"No, I want to stay here and play with Jeff."

"That's your decision," Brian said, and stepped back, and returned to the sofa.

Nick looked up Jeff's body. Hesitated. "I'm sorry."

"It's okay," Jeff said, touching his cheek.

"We can play later."

Jeff smiled. "Count on it."

Nick kissed Jeff's skin and went back to the sofa, to Brian.

"Aren't you glad you're straight?" Drew asked Justin.

"I don't know," Justin said. "This is pretty entertaining."

Nick grabbed Jeff's shirt from Justin's hands and threw it at Jeff. "Get dressed."

"Nick," Drew said.

"You say you don't want him, you say it's just me, and-"

"That is not what I said!" Jeff argued.

"We are not talking about this here," Nick said.

"You think Justin doesn't know we've all been screwing?" Jeff asked.

Nick went white. Red.

On the sofa, Nick held Brian's hand and tried not to worry.

Nick's jaw was tight, his fists tighter.

Justin stayed calm.

Drew reminded himself that Nick would never hit Jeff.

"You going to hit me now?"

"How dare you!" Nick erupted, charging forward, pushing Jeff against the wall. "How dare you?! All of this time, all of this time you've been telling me that it's okay, it's all right, it's natural, it's love, it's good, it's fine, and now you say we've all been screwing?! We've all been screwing?! That's not love, that's body parts! You're the one I trusted, you're the one I believed, you said that it was all right and that's the only reason I've been able to breathe for years now, and you say-"

"Nick-"

"You know I will never hit you, you know I can never hit you, you destroy this beautiful thing we've shared-"

"Nick." Jeff gripped Nick's chin. "Nick, look at me. I'm right here. Justin-"

"No problem," Justin said, leading the way to the door. The door closed. Nick and Jeff were alone.

"Can you touch me?" Jeff asked.

"No," Nick said, pulling his fists so tight his knuckles hurt.

"It's okay," Jeff said, and let his fingers skim Nick's cheek. "It's okay."

Nick closed his eyes and breathed.

"It's okay," Jeff said softly. "Nick. I love you."

Breathed.

"I love you, Nick. I'm right here. We do share a beautiful thing, we share many beautiful things. Our love. Our marriage. Our passion. 98 Degrees. Our music, our friendships, our love. We share a love for Drew, two different sides of one love. I know how deep that runs in you, and I know how you struggle with it every day. I want that struggle to be a little less every day, a little easier every day, but it can't be. And I love you for it."

Breathed.

"You and Drew love each other. It's a unique love, Nick, it's a special love. I love you, and through loving you, I love Drew. Through loving you, through loving Drew, I've come to love Brian and Nick. And you love them, because Drew does. And they love you, because Drew does. And they love me, because you love me. I know I took it too far with Nick, I always take it too far with him, because he's easy to tease, he doesn't hide a response. I'm sorry. I'll tone it down. It's inappropriate. Ssshhh. Here." Jeff guided Nick's hands to his waist, encouraging Nick closer.

Breathed.

"I love you."

Nick breathed.

AJ had to get out of this bed.

He was on the rebound. He still loved Lance. Kevin was supposed to be straight. This was a time of emotional upheaval. Having sex because someone wanted to kill them was so stereotypical it was pathetic.

AJ was not pathetic.

He had to hand it to Kevin. The man put up with a constant stream of self-absorbed shit from him, Howie, Brian, and Nick. Dealt with the fall-out from their fucked-up personal lives. Stood up for them under attack from all sides. Stood solid. Kept it real. Kept them together.

Never once had Kevin made a move towards backing out. Never once had he gotten a hint that Kevin had second thoughts about the Backstreet Boys. Maybe Kevin had spent tortured nights alone in personal debate. But AJ didn't think so.

Standing solid with them, for them, was one thing.

Climbing into bed with them was something else.

Kevin wanted him.

They were friends. Brothers. Backstreet Boys. They'd spent years, many years, living together and working together and touring together. They'd loved and fought, seen each other at their best and their worst, celebrated and mourned. They'd been there for each other and wanted to say "fuck you" to each other and lived, learned, grown.

And now Kevin wanted him.

The deepest love AJ knew was the love among his Boys. The Backstreet Boys came first, above and beyond all else. They'd earned that right.

Now Kevin was adding something else. Not sex, like the way he'd gone to bed with Howie. Not lust, like the "give me a piece of that" AJ tended to feel around Nick. Not heavensent desire, like the weak-in-the-knees tight-in-the-balls feeling AJ got around Brian. This was want, need, greed, hunger. Kevin wanted him.

Not that AJ had any business comparing himself to the second greatest couple on earth, but it seemed to him that Kevin was sniffing around him like Brian used to sniff around Nick.

He had to get out of this bed.

As soon as Kevin stopped licking his spine.

At the first knock, Justin tensed. Then he realized that it was only Chris. Relieved, he relaxed against Lance again and let Joey get the door.

"Your girlfriend finally let you back to civilization?" Joey asked.

"Sno-Cone," Lance whispered. Justin snickered.

Chris took Joey's vacated spot between Lance and JC on the bed. Joey shoved Justin aside, making a space for himself between Justin and Lance. Justin scooted closer to JC to make room. Not a hardship.

"To what do we owe this honor?" JC asked. It was hard to read his tone. He still wasn't pleased with Chris, but Justin hoped he'd get over it soon.

"Howie can't get it up anymore?" Joey suggested.

"Are you twelve?" Chris asked Joey.

"You can't get it up anymore?" Joey asked.

"A pox on you!"

"That's harsh," Justin said.

"Sno-Cone," Lance repeated. "That was good."

"Buck wild," Justin murmured, sliding his hand up JC's thigh. JC gently moved Justin's hand to a safer location, oblivious to the three covetous stares of their friends.

"You think Brian's a Rice Krispie Treat or buck wild?" Joey asked.

"To look at him?" Chris asked.

"Rice Krispie Treat," Lance said.

"To hear Nick talk about him?" JC said.

"Buck wild," Justin said.

"The man knows his moves," JC said.

"You believe Nick Carter?" Joey asked.

"Not the most unbiased person," Lance said.

"You ask him, sometime, what Brian's like in bed," Justin said.

"I'd ask Drew," Joey said.

"Try them," Justin said. "You'll see."

"Brian is not buck wild," Chris said. "What, you think he's better than JC?"

Justin laughed.

JC turned red and looked at the bedspread.

"Nobody," Justin said, "on the planet, is better than JC."

"Justin," JC said.

"They know what I'm talking about," Justin said.

JC refused to look up.

Justin squeezed JC's hand. "Don't worry. They've kept their hands to themselves this long, they can keep it under control."

"I don't know," Joey said. "I might have to check JC out for myself."

JC gave Joey a dark glare.

"You wouldn't mind," Joey said to Justin. "One night."

"A whole night?" Justin asked. "Joey, you can't handle it. One night with JC, you'd have to cancel all our concerts for a week."

"Just because you have an orgasm every time you look at him-"

"I do not!"

"-doesn't mean that the rest of us can't take the heat."

"Heat?" Justin asked. "Heat? You want to talk heat?"

"Justin," JC said.

"Let him talk," Chris said. "I want to hear this."

"You shut up," JC said.

"Don't yell at Chris," Justin said.

"What heat, Justin?" Joey asked. "Tell us all about it."

"I didn't yell at Chris," JC said.

"I want to yell at Chris," Lance said.

"For what?" Chris asked.

"That long-haired bitch you've been taking to bed," Joey said.

"Joey!" Justin said.

"Don't," JC said. He was talking to Joey and Lance, which surprised Justin more than anything. "Don't give him grief over it. He loves Howie. That's his business."

Joey and Lance started to protest.

"Chris loves Howie," JC said. "Respect him, respect his love. You show disrespect for his love, you show disrespect for him. You show disrespect for his love, you show disrespect for mine. You want to do that?"

"I don't have a death wish," Joey said.

"JC," Lance tried.

"Do you respect my love for Justin?" JC asked Lance, blue eyes hard, voice daring Lance to give the wrong answer.

"Yes," Lance said. "Yes, JC, absolutely. This isn't about that."

"Everything's about that."

"In your head it is," Lance agreed. "We're talking about Chris and Howie. That's totally different."

Justin wanted them to keep talking, to work things out. There were some tensions over Howie, over AJ and Backstreet Boys in general, over JC suddenly defending Chris, whom he'd spat venom at for weeks. But he wanted JC to stay cool through it, not to get riled. And it was easy to push JC's buttons, easy for him, easy for their friends, who knew JC too well. So he shifted over and sat in JC's space, leaning back against JC's chest, scooting his butt up between JC's thighs. JC wouldn't dare blow a fuse while holding him.

"I know that Howie isn't perfect," Chris said. "He has problems, we all have problems."

"Problems? He cheated on you!" Lance said.

"You're upset about AJ," Chris said. "You can't push that onto me."

"I'm not-"

"They slept together. We both have to deal with it. In our own way," Chris said.

"I don't see you dealing," Joey said. "I see you running back to Howie."

"You run from him, you run to him - - how is that helping?" Lance asked. "What's that going to do for you?"

"Back off," JC said to Joey and Lance.

"We can't even talk now?" Lance asked. "Chris is our friend. I don't want to see him hurt again the way he's been hurt."

"Chris is giving Howie that power," JC said. "That's his right."

"He doesn't have the right to let Howie hurt him!"

"Yes, he does!"

"Howie doesn't have the right to hurt him," Joey said.

"Yes, he does," Chris said. "That's my decision."

"You can't give him power over you," Lance said.

"That's what love is," JC said.

"No, it's not," Lance said.

"Yes, it is."

"It's not! Love isn't about power and-"

"What's it about?" Chris asked.

Silence.

"I don't know," Lance said.

"Maybe it's different every time," Joey said.

"Maybe it's about too many things to pin down to one," Chris said.

"I know what love is," Justin said. He turned his head to one side and, as though drawn, JC leaned down, eyes closing, to brush a kiss over his neck.

matthew@matthewtime.com
"Together" Part Sixteen
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