Copyright February 2-May 15, 2001 by Matthew Haldeman-Time

Rating: NC-17 for graphic male-male sex

Disclaimer: The young men who comprise the Backstreet Boys, *NSYNC, and 98 Degrees are their own people.  The author has not met anyone here described, nor does the author mean to suggest that these people act this way in real life.  This writing is a work of fiction.  I make no money from this venture.

Dedication: This slashfic is for Ewan McGregor and the Savage Garden slashers.

Notice: There are six stories that come before this one.  Read those first.  I'll wait.

Warning: "Together" includes depictions of, discussion of, and references to, consensual incest.

        Halfway out of bed, Justin sat down again.  "I was going to get dressed."

        "No, stay."

        "JC, I'm starving."

        "Call for room service."

        "We could go down to the dining room."

        "Let's stay here.  Stay here, baby.  Let me spend time with you."

        "Oh, you want to try something new and different," Justin said.  "Spending time together.  We never see each other. Too bad we don't live together or work together or-"

        "You're cute when you're not funny."

        "I'm cute all of the time."

        "I know.  You are."  JC kissed his nose.  "I love you, Justin."

        "I have an idea," Justin said.  "You order room service.  You order the food.  I'll eat it."

        "That's your idea?"

        "I'll eat it off of you."

        "What?  Who are you and what have you done with Justin?"

        "If you're going to mock me, I'm not going to do it.  No, no, it's too late, you ruined it.  We can eat in the dining room."  Justin left the bed, all hurt pride and long, naked limbs.  JC was left speechless.

        "An errand?" Drew asked.

        "Where are you going?" Brian asked.

        "Go, go," Nick said, pushing them towards the elevator.  "I'll catch up."

        "No, Nick, we won't leave you," Brian said dramatically.

        "We can't leave you behind like this," Drew agreed, clutching at Nick's arm.  "We're all in this together."

        "If you stay, I'll stay with you," Brian said.  "We'll all stay."

        "We'll never let you go," Drew said.

        "They'll never part us."

        "Never."

        "Where you go, we'll go."

        "To the ends of the earth."

        "To the moon and back."

        "To the farthest reaches of the galaxy."

        "To the corner store."

        "To the bathroom."

        "To bed."

        "Brian!"

        "What?"

        "I can't get rid of you now," Nick said.  "Brian, take Drew down to get food.  I'll be there when I'm finished doing something."

        "Doing what?" Brian asked.

        "Something."

        "Without us?" Drew asked.  "I'm hurt."

        "You hurt Drew!  It's okay, Drew, I still love you."  Brian hugged Drew comfortingly.  "There, there.  It's all right.  He didn't mean it."

        "I'm surrounded by fools and idiots," Nick said.

        "I'll be a fool," Brian said to Drew.  "You be an idiot."

        "No, I want to be the fool," Drew said.  "You're the pixie."

        "If you're the fool and I'm the pixie, who's the idiot?"

        "Hold your breath for Nick Lachey's entrance," Nick said.

        "That's Timmons-Lachey, and be nice," Drew said, swatting him.  "We are going down to forage for sustenance.  You come and join us when you're through playing secret errand boy.  Don't take too long."  Drew tugged him down for a kiss and took Brian to the elevator.  "If you don't come down in five minutes, I'm going to start nibbling Brian without you."

        That wasn't playing fair at all.  Nick scowled as the elevator took away Brian and his Drew.  He'd better hurry.

        "You okay?" Jeff asked, sitting beside him on the sofa.

        Nick held up a hand for silence.  "I'm testing."

        "Testing what?"

        "I think I'm okay."

        "That's good to hear."

        He opened his eyes and rubbed his hands over his jeans.  "I think I'm okay.  I had sex with my brother, my brother's husband, my brother's boyfriend...  And I think I'm okay."

        Jeff pulled one knee to his chest and rested his elbow on the back of the sofa.  "How's the overwhelming guilt?"

        "Bearable."

        "Do you want to hear some reassurances?"

        "That might help."

        "They love you.  We," Jeff ran a finger down Nick's nose, "love you.  They wanted this to happen.  Drew's wanted to make love with you like that for a long time, there's no question that Brian wants you, and Nick loves you, too.  They wanted to be with you."

        "What about you?"

        "Are you asking if they wanted to have sex with me?"

        "I'm asking if you wanted to have sex with them."

        "I'm human."

        "But do...  Jeff, what do you get out of it?"

        "What do you think I get out of it?"

        Nick narrowed his eyes.

        Jeff narrowed his eyes back at Nick.

        "Stop it."

        "Stop what?"

        "You're the most annoying - - you know what I'm trying to ask you.  I'm trying to - - are you in this for my sake and their sake, or for yourself, or...or what?  Why are you doing this?  Are you going along with it for our sake?"

        "Nick-"

        "I'm in love with Drew.  I love him and I want to be with him and I want to have sex with him.  And I love Nick.  And I love Brian.  I want them.  But there's love and there's lust and there's wanting and there's needing and I can say no.  I can say no and I can hold back and I can leave it at flirtation and friendship, with Brian and Nick.  Yes, I want them, and yes, I love them, but I can live without taking it that step further that we just took it."

        "Now that we've finally done it, now you say you don't need it?"

        "I saw you.  I was right there with you, Jeff.  You were having sex and you were making love but that was not the real thing.  That wasn't shattering, bone-deep, soul-deep lovemaking.  That was just really good sex and sharing bodies and showing love.  I know that you love them.  That's not a question.  But last night, did you get out of it what you needed to get out of it?"

        Jeff thought about how to say it.  "I'm used to being with you.  Last night was different."

        Nick looked into his eyes.  "What do you want to do?"

        "I won't ask you to step away from Drew.  You need to be able to be with him, and he needs that, too.  I don't want to interfere there."

        "But?"

        "But we could, we both could, take it back a notch with Brian and Nick.  And I love Drew, you know I do.  But the two of you are the ones with the clearest connection here.  I'm just a link, a way for him to be closer to you.  It's time for you and Drew to be together yourselves, without me."

        "We're backpedaling."

        "We're figuring out where we all belong in this relationship."

        "Nick will be heartbroken to find out he can't try to cop another feel."

        "Brian's going to be very disappointed that he won't have another chance to make love to you."

        "You can still flirt with them.  They'll enjoy it."

        "Oh, now you want me to tease Nick."

        "Yeah.  Now he knows what he's missing."  There was a knock at the door.  "I'll get it."  Before Nick rose from the sofa, Jeff gave him a quick kiss.  He didn't know why it affected him, but when he opened the door, he was blushing.

        Nick Carter grinned.  "Hi.  Is the man of the house at home?"

        "You want something?" Nick asked.

        "Gotta make it quick.  Brian and Drew are waiting for me."

        "Then hurry and go."

        "No, no, first I have to talk.  Let me in."

        "Talk?"

        "To you and where is Jeff?  Is he here?  I want to see him."

        "You've seen plenty of him already."

        "Naked."

        "That was more than enough."

        "Damn, I'll say.  Tell me how long it is.  I know you know.  I bet you measured it."

        "Nick-"

        "Tell me what he calls it.  He named it.  Tell me."

        "May I help you?" Jeff asked, joining them in the doorway.  "Nick, invite the poor man in."

        "Yes, Nick, why are you rude?" Nick asked.  "Invite me in."

        Nick made a face and let Nick into the room.  "What do you want, Carter?"

        "That's Carter.  Littrell.  Lachey," Nick said.  "Carter, as in Jimmy.  Littrell, as in Brian.  And Lachey, as in your sexy-ass brother."

        "I'm glad you're here," Jeff said.  "I want to talk to you."

        "Jeff wants to talk to me.  You go away and let us talk."

        "First tell us why you're here," Jeff said, resuming the sofa.  Nick sat beside him, turning to face him.  Instead of leaving the two of them there and taking a seat on the chair, Nick took a rather possessive seat behind Jeff on the couch.  Glares were exchanged over Jeff's head.

        "I want to talk to you," Nick said to Jeff, deciding to ignore Nick.  "To thank you."

        "For what?" Jeff asked.

        "Loving me and helping me and loving Drew and helping him and letting us borrow your Nick and letting us make love with you.  You're always good to me and you're always there for Drew and you have to deal with," Nick waved in Nick's direction, "him all of the time.  Thank you for aiding and abetting."

        "You don't have to thank me for loving you," Jeff said.  "I could thank you for loving me."

        "Why did you want to talk to me?"

        "Last night was very important, and very special."

        "Uh-oh."

        "What?"

        "You're breaking up with us."

        "No, I'm not.  Yes, I am.  Backing off a little."

        "No more blow jobs?"

        "No."

        "Not even from him?"

        "No.  Drew can, though."

        "Drew gets to keep Nick and I don't?"

        "I'm afraid so."

        "And my Jeff privileges are suspended?"

        "Yes."

        "Damn."

        "I'm sorry."

        "I'd better break the news to Brian.  He's going to be disappointed."

        "Brian seemed to have a good time last night."

        "He did.  He had a good time with you.  And with that Nick."

        "I was glad that I finally had the chance to be with him."

        "Was he good?"

        "He was very good."

        "Not good enough.  You don't want more."

        "I do want him.  I love him.  But...you understand."

        "Yeah.  I think so.  There's you and Nick and fun and love and sex, and then there's Brian and Drew.  And they're fun and love and sex, too, but it's..."

        "Different.  Deeper.  Much more complex and much easier and more..."

        "Necessary."

        "But I do love Brian.  And I want to thank him for last night."

        "We're not talking about Brian."

        "We haven't been."

        "And I already said thank you, right?"

        "Yes."

        "I guess I don't get just one more kiss before I go."

        "One."

        "I wish we weren't breaking up."

        "We're not."

        "I still love you, and I always will, but let's just be friends.  That's breaking up.  And Drew gets Nick visitation rights and I don't.  That sucks."

        "But you understand."

        "Yeah, yeah.  Goddamnit, that was my one-time-only sex with Jeff event, and I didn't even get the real thing."

        "The real thing?"

        "Three feet of you up my ass."

        "Carter-"

        Jeff reached back and smacked Nick's thigh to keep him quiet.

        It didn't work.  "Can you for one second stop talking about Jeff's cock?"

        "I want it and he won't let me have it."

        "He won't let you have it because you're not half the man enough to take it!"

        "I am twice the man that you are!" Nick said, standing.

        "How do you-"  Nick was on his feet, too.

        "You have Jeff.  I have Brian and Drew."

        "I have Drew, too."

        "He's mine.  He's mine first and he always will be."

        "He was mine before you ever came into the picture."

        "What are you doing?!" Jeff demanded, still seated.

        "We have to fight really hard and get really mean so we won't miss each other," Nick said.  "Now I can't kiss him anymore so I have to be mad at him so I won't care."

        Jeff looked to Nick for confirmation.  Nick shrugged.  Jeff sighed and said, "I'm not going to listen to you be cruel to each other."

        "Okay," Nick said.  "We should kiss and make up, then."

        Jeff stood, directly between them.  "You're kissing me, remember?  Then you can go and tell Brian and Drew that we broke up with them."

        "Brian will be so disappointed."

        "You can make it up to him."

        "Okay.  Kiss?"

        Jeff leaned up and kissed him.

        Nick blinked.  Licked his lips.  Reached past Jeff for Nick.

        Jeff intervened.  "Hands off.  He's mine."

        "I just want a little," Nick protested.  "I'll leave you some nibbley parts, too."

        "My Lachey," Jeff stressed.  "You go nibble yours."

        "You're not a good ex-boyfriend."

        "Sorry."

        "Make it up to me.  Tell me what you named your dick."

        "Not Thomas."

        "There's nothing wrong with Thomas!"

        Nick snorted.

        "I meant the name!  There's nothing wrong with my dick, either!  I don't like you anymore.  Jeff, what did you name your dick?"

        "We'll just let that be one of the great mysteries of the twenty-first century."

        "I'll figure it out.  Have a nice day.  Thank you for last night and this morning.  Kisses for the road?"

        Jeff kissed his cheek and took a seat.  "Nick, see our guest to the door."

        "The door's over there.  See you."

        "If I can't have you, I'm going to make sure that Drew does.  And he's going to get really lonely without me and Brian around.  You'd better find the time and the semen to spend with him."

        Nick started pushing Nick towards the door.

        "You are the rudest butler.  And you make a lousy ex-boyfriend.  At least give me a blow job good-bye."

        "You wish."

        "Kiss?"

        "No, Carter.  Littrell.  Lachey."

        Nick smiled.  "See how easy that was?"

        "I've seen how easy you are."

        "Look who's talking.  Do you ever say no?"

        "At least I can spell my name, Nickolas."

        "At least I was smart enough to seduce Drew instead of sitting around waiting for twenty-some years."

        "At least I had the self-control to keep my hands off of him."

        "Self-control?  Aren't you the idiot who got off in the hallway?"

        "Aren't you the idiot who got me off in the hallway?"

        "Aren't you the idiot who grabbed Jeff the second he said, 'I'm gay,' without waiting to see whether he meant queer or happy?"

        "I grabbed Jeff and I'm an idiot?  I took him then and I still have him now.  You only wish you could get that dick - - it's practically mine."

        "You win."

        Nick smiled.

        Nick sighed.  "Kiss?"

        Nick kissed his cheek.  "I love you."

        "Oh."  Nick almost smiled.  "I'll remember."

        "Good."

        "When I turn around and leave, do me a favor."

        "What?"

        "Smack my ass on the way out the door."

        AJ wasn't really asleep.

        He slid it back onto AJ's finger.

        AJ didn't say anything.

        He pulled a different ring off of AJ's other finger, a braided silver one.  He slid it onto his middle finger.  It fit.  It looked like something AJ would wear, not something he would wear.  Too bold.  Too rough.

        AJ's eyes were open.

        JC looked up from his menu.

        "And bathe you in it."

        JC was paying close attention.

        "And lick it off of your eyebrows.  Did you see these prices?  Glad I'm not paying for this stuff.  Oh, wait, what's the exchange rate?"  Justin looked up for an answer.  JC was staring.  "Can I help you?"

        "Wine.  Red wine.  Something very sweet."

        "That's what you're ordering?"

        "I'd lick it off of your skin.  Shimmering like rubies.  Drops of blood."

        Justin reminded himself never to play with JC again.  He always forgot that, a., JC always won, and b., it always stopped being a game at some point.  Even if they both started out teasing and playing, they always got too into it and the game turned serious and they'd reach a point where if they didn't find a room with a door that locked within ten seconds, the people around them were in for a show.

        The people around them were in for a show all of the time, really.

        Justin couldn't remember which red wines were the sweetest.  To him, they all tasted the same.  Red was sweeter than white, and more expensive than beer, and that was about as far as his unseasoned palate could take him.  Red wine would stain the sheets, though.

        Unless they didn't do it in bed.

        "I want to make love to you by candlelight," JC said.

        "We'd set the bed on fire."

        "We always do."

        Damn.  Another point to JC.

        And unless he was remembering incorrectly, he'd just said that he wanted to lick JC's eyebrows.  Which, okay, yeah, he did, he had a thing for JC's eyebrows, those long thick arches.  But it wasn't like he had to tell people.  He wanted to lick JC everywhere, all over, every last sexy delicious inch, but JC didn't have to know that.

        JC had the best body ever.  Skinny, yeah, turn JC sideways and there was nothing there, but all tight.  And what was there was all muscle.  JC was intense, burned energy like the sun.  All of that intensity made JC a true performer onstage.  And all of that intensity, when it was focused on Justin, when he could feel JC wanting him and loving him and adoring him and hellbent on pleasuring him until he was-

        "What are you thinking about?"

        Justin felt himself turning bright red and hid behind his menu.  "Nothing."  He knew that JC was smiling, so he didn't look.  He couldn't even - - oh, duh, he'd flipped to the French pages.  Muttering to himself, he tried to find his way back to English.

        "You okay?"

        Justin glared.  This was German.

        "Hey, Nick."

        "Hey, JC, Mrs. JC.  What happened to your face?"

        "You look a lot better," Justin said, to divert the conversation.  Nick did look better.  Happy and grounded.  Not miserable and confused and angry and dying.

        "I got laid.  A lot.  You good?"

        "Can we talk later?" JC asked.

        "Sure," Nick said.  "Any time.  As long as you can drag your skinny ass out of bed and Drew isn't naked."

        "What if Brian's naked?" JC asked.

        "Then I'm dropping by," Justin said.  JC and Nick glared at him.  He went back to his menu.

        "Yes."

        "You're also in love with me."

        "Yes."

        "Chris, would you still love me if I shaved my head?"

        "Yes."

        "Can you please tell me what is going on here?" Howie asked, taking a seat beside him on the sofa.

        "I spend my time, my life, with *NSYNC.  With JC and Justin.  Watching them fall in love and tear each other, themselves, apart.  I see their obsession and their need and their dependence.  They used to be normal, Howie.  They used to be...  I've seen them become...what they are.  If normal, everyday people like JC and Justin can change like that, anyone can.  For love.  Over a simple thing like love.  If it can happen to them, it can happen to me."

        "Chris-"

        "I got scared, and I tried to keep it from happening to me.  By breaking away from you.  I don't know what I thought I was doing.  It didn't work.  It made things worse.  And here I am.  As out of my mind as anyone else."

        "Chris-"

        "Congratulations.  I love you.  I hate you.  I despise you for being the miserable, lowly, shit-sucking filth that you are.  And I think you're the most gorgeous deity ever to walk the earth."

        "I didn't do this to you."

        "It doesn't matter how it happened.  I've become the very thing I feared.  Maybe I only feared it in the first place because I recognized that it was already in me."

        "You're not insane."

        "I love you.  I must be crazy."

        "What?"

        "Chicken.  Wings, fingers, grilled, something chickenish."

        "Which Justin wants to see which of us naked?"

        "The young one with the curly hair wants to see Brian naked.  He said it in front of JC, which, not too bright there, Timbalake.  When your entire world lives in that man's balls, you don't talk about other guys."

        "What did you say about Jeff and Nick?"

        "Speaking of balls.  Damn.  Hot damn.  Holy hot damn.  Oh, but they broke up with us.  Not completely, because Drew still has Nick privileges.  But no Nick for us, Brian, and no Jeff for anybody.  That's not fair.  Nick can't keep that all to himself.  And you, you have to screw Nick twice a day, and then tell me about it."

        "Nick-"

        "Did I mention that there's blue glitter in my suitcase?"

        AJ flipped through a pile of shirts on the bed, half-dressed, waiting.

        "I thought you stopped getting tattoos."

        "I did."

        Silence.

        "That one's different."

        "When did..."

        "Before I slept with Howie."

        "It's..."

        "Just go, Lance.  You took my heart, my soul, my ring, and my pride.  You can go.  There's nothing left for you here."

        "I thought that everything I ever wanted was here.  With you."

        "No, you didn't."

        Lance left.

        "Don't ask me."

        Justin counted peas as he ate.

        "Brian."

        Oops, missed one.

        "Brian Littrell."

        "Carter Littrell Lachey."  If they insisted on messing with their own names, they might as well respect it when other people did it.

        "He's short."

        "You're short."

        "I am not."

        Justin shrugged and resumed counting peas.

        "He's old."

        "You're old."

        "He's a Backstreet Boy."

        Okay, JC had him there.

        "He doesn't look half as good naked as I do."

        "How would you know?"

        "Look at him."

        "Okay."

        Welcome to JC's Stare of Outraged Fury.

        Shit.

        "That's it."

        "What?"

        "You want him, you take him."

        "JC, I-"

        "You want him-"

        "It's not that I want him-"

        "-then you can just-"

        "-or not that I don't want him, or, I mean-"

        "-take him, because I am not-"

        "-I have you, god, JC, like I'd ever-"

        "-going to stand in the way of-"

        "-I mean, have you looked at yourself?"

        The waiter showed up just then.  And when he left, Justin had a full glass of water and a tight, restrained, Pod Person JC.  Shit.

        He didn't know how JC did that.  Went all tightly controlled.  When Justin was threatened, he went on the attack, but JC gave up.  Passive-aggressive little-

        Now, shit.  JC was leaving.

        Justin decided not to call JC names in public.

        When had JC started to get bitchy over every little thing?

        Brian was cute.  Big news.

        Something else was bothering JC.  Something else, and this was just an excuse to-

        AJ.

        Shit.

        "Dealing with Nick," Nick muttered.

        "I don't regret spending time with him, or helping him, or last night.  But I really wanted the two of us to have time alone together."

        "Really."

        "Yeah.  Stop smiling like that."

        "You want to spend time alone with me?"

        "If you think you can handle it."

        "Is that a challenge?"

        "You up to it?"

        "How can you possibly want more sex?" Nick asked.

        "That was different.  Now I want you."

        "Just me."

        "Don't let it go to your head."

        "Too late."

        "Sorry.  Forgot who I was talking to."

        "Ha, ha, ha."

        "Were you saying that you don't want more sex?  That was enough for you?  We don't have to do it.  If you're tired.  Maybe once a day is plenty for you.  Once a week should be enough."

        "Jeff-"

        "It's okay.  I don't mind."

        "Oh, you don't?"

        "No, no.  That's fine."

        "Good."

        "Good."

        "You're not getting any."

        "That's fine."

        "Fine."

        "Fine."

        Nick glared.

        Jeff feigned innocence.

        "I'm going to bed."

        "This early?" Jeff asked.

        "Nothing to stay up for, now."  Nick turned and headed in that direction, muttering, "Not that there ever was anything worth getting it up for."

        "I heard that, Timmons-Lachey!"

        "Good!" Nick called back, walking into the bathroom.

        Jeff decided not to let it go.  He followed.  "I'm not worth getting it up for?"

        Nick pulled off his shirt and dropped it on Jeff's head.  "No."

        Jeff snatched the shirt off of his head and threw it at Nick.  "No?"

        Nick threw it back.  "N.  O."

        "Then how do you explain our sex life?"

        "I'm so hot I turn myself on."

        "Am I supposed to believe that?"

        "You're saying you don't believe that?" Nick asked, and waited.  One hand on the doorknob, one hand on his hip.  Naked to the waist.  Blue eyes expectant.

        Jeff forgot the question.

        Nick pushed him out of the bathroom and closed the door in his face.

        "Can we tie you up?" Nick asked.

        "No," Brian said.

        "Drew, stop touching that.  Save it for later.  You tied me up.  We should tie you up."

        "No."

        "Drew, what did I just say to you?  Brian, stop moaning like that, you're only encouraging him."  To distract Drew, Nick offered his fingers.  Drew's mouth opened as hazel eyes closed.  Nick pushed Brian to the bed with one hand, leading Drew with the other.  "You lay down.  Now, I was doing some reading, and glitter works better if you're wet.  So we could lick Brian all over, or we could make him sweat, or we could-"

        "You were reading what?" Brian asked.

        "Never mind.  Anybody have massage oil?"

        "Does this look like a bath products store?"

        "We need something to make the glitter stick."

        "It was just fine last time."

        "I want it to be right."

        "Nick, it will be right.  It is right."  Brian kissed him before stretching out comfortably.  "I'm going to take a nap.  You two have fun."

        Nick watched Brian's eyes close.  Watched the even rise and fall as Brian breathed.  Looked at his beautiful lover resting before him.  "Drew.  Do you want to make a pixie with me?"

        Drew's hand was, without warning, sliding up inside Nick's thigh.  Sexy hazel eyes were very close.  "Nick."

        "Hi, Drew."

        Drew kissed him.  Drew kissed him a lot.  Deep and wet and lots of tongue.  And that hand was on his balls.  "Nick."

        He made a not-very-intelligent sound and sucked Drew's tongue.

        "I want."

        Oh, god, yes.

        "I want to."

        Anything, any fucking thing Drew wanted.

        "I want to make him..."

        Make Brian.  Take Brian.  Fuck Brian.  Yes.  Now.

        "Brian..."

        That's what he was saying.  God, Drew had to stop kissing him or he'd come.

        "...blue..."

        Nick gasped when Drew's finger breached his body.  One sweet finger popped inside and sparked fireworks and disappeared again.  Holy shit.  Nick was still seeing stars while Drew crawled on top of Brian and started kissing Brian's navel.

        Recovering brain cells, Nick reached for the glitter.  They'd each taken three bottles, one of each color, with them on tour.  It had been Brian's idea.  Stupid Brian wouldn't let him use his bottles, either, which he'd thought was the point.  Well, he was using one now.  He opened a bottle of blue and lifted Drew's hand from Brian's side.  He spilled glitter into Drew's palm and guided Drew's touch back towards Brian.

        Streaks of blue over pale skin.

        Drew made a shocked sound and hit the zone running.

        "It's good to see you, too, Justin.  I'm fine, thanks for asking."

        "Sorry, I...  Lance, you were having sex.  You were having sex.  You look like you were having sex."

        "I do not."

        "You had sex?  You never have sex."

        "I have sex!"

        "Yeah, but...  Hey.  Was it AJ?  It was AJ.  I hope it was AJ.  Except I hope it wasn't AJ, because I hate AJ.  Tell me you weren't having sex."

        "Yes, I had sex.  Yes, it was with AJ."

        "You - - AJ?!  You slept with AJ?  Lance, he's - - he's pure evil!"

        "Have you been talking to Joey?"

        "He hit JC!  He hit JC!  Nobody hits JC!  He hit JC!"

        "I understood you the first time, Justin."

        "I want to kill him."

        "So do I."

        "You slept with him?"

        "It was just sex."

        "What's that?  Your hand, you, that's not yours.  Lance."

        "It's AJ's."

        "That's not the official ring finger.  Tell me you left his room in a hurry and put it on by accident."

        "I don't know why I have it.  Maybe it's to remember him by."

        "You broke up?"

        "I don't know."

        "You're messed up."

        "Look who's talking."

        "Yeah, but I'm messed up over JC.  You're just messed up over AJ."

        "Thanks."

        "No problem."

        "I'm not messed up.  I love him but I don't want to be with him right now."

        "You broke up."

        "I guess so."

        "But you still have his ring."

        "It doesn't mean anything."

        "I thought that you were the smart one."

        "I win by default."

        "You're not the funny one."

        "You're looking for JC?"

        "He's being annoying.  I don't know why I put up with him."

        "I know why you put up with him."

        "Shut up."

        "I don't know why I bothered to have sex with AJ.  You and JC have enough sex for all of us."

        "It's quality that counts, not quantity."

        "You seem to have both."

        "Jealous?"

        Lance took too long to answer.  Then he turned red.

        "Lance.  Lance?  You're..."

        "No, I...  I'm not jealous, it's not, you know it's not like that."

        "Good."

        "But AJ...  AJ kept talking about the Backstreet thing, how he was with Howie, and then, if he, and I..."

        "If there's a Backstreet thing, maybe there's an *NSYNC thing.  And if AJ can do Howie, you can do JC."

        "You haven't killed me yet."

        "I'm thinking."

        "Take your time."

        "AJ's a jerk."

        "Granted."

        "You can't touch JC."

        "I got that a long time ago."

        "I can ask him to kiss you."

        "What?"

        "I'll ask JC to kiss you."

        "What?"

        "I'm talking.  Try to listen.  I.  Will.  Ask.  J.  C.  To."

        "No!"

        "Sure."

        "Why?  Justin!"

        Justin already was knocking on the room door.  "JC, you in there?  Open up for a second."

        "Justin!" Lance protested.

        JC opened the door.

        "You'll do anything I ask you."

        "Yes," JC agreed.

        "If I tell you to do something, you'll do it."

        "Yes."

        "Kiss Lance."

        "No!  JC-"

        JC glanced at Lance.  "For how long?"

        "Until I tell you to stop.  Right here is a good spot.  And you," Justin turned to Lance, "touch the hot spots and I'll kill you.  Okay, go."  Justin jogged off down the hallway.

        "JC, you don't-"

        "Justin told me to."

        "You don't even want me."

        "You're not Justin," JC said.  Then he smiled.  "That doesn't mean I don't love you, Lance."  He cupped Lance's chin in one hand and kissed Lance's mouth.

        JC was his best friend and co-worker, married to his other best friend and co-worker.  He was in love with someone else.  They were kissing for no reason at all.

        But, on a technical scale, this kiss was flawless.  JC kissed even better than AJ did, as far as that went.  All of that practice on Justin really had paid off.

        Lance loved JC, as a friend and work partner and brother and someone with whom he spent a great deal of his time.  And on a strictly physical plane, he wanted JC.  As a man, he was enjoying the hell out of this kiss, out of JC's mouth.  He wanted to take JC to bed and see what else JC would do.

        But there was no thrill of want and satisfaction, no spark of fear or love.  It was JC and it was kissing JC and it was being turned on by kissing JC.  It was hot and it was arousing and if he were any less of a person, he would try to get in JC's pants, because this was one...good...oohhh...kiss.

        But it went no deeper than that.

        And Lance was used to it going deeper.  He wanted it to go deeper.  He wanted to feel those things he felt with AJ.  When AJ kissed him, it was never only a kiss.  It was love and longing and hope and satisfaction and thrill and fear and AJ and sex and a dozen, a million other things.  When AJ kissed him, Lance felt everything.

        Maybe, technically, JC was a better kisser.

        But Lance would rather kiss AJ.

        And he knew that if he wanted more out of this kiss, then JC did, too.  Because JC was used to kissing Justin.  And when JC kissed Justin, it was more than a simple kiss, it was JC's soul on a platter.

        "Stop, stop.  Never mind."

        JC wasn't kissing him anymore.  JC's hand rubbed over his side for a minute.  "What?" JC asked Justin.  Lance's body felt warm.

        "I was going to try to get AJ to walk past and see you, but I thought about it, and maybe that's not such a good idea.  How'd it go?  JC gives good tongue, doesn't he?"

        He'd left his brain around here somewhere.

        Nick had gone to bed.

        Naked.

        Jeff had watched.

        Nick rolled over, onto his back, one hand resting on his stomach, sheets tangled around his legs and hips, a slice of thigh exposed.  An artist couldn't have draped the bedclothes any better.

        The thing about Nick was, he had a terrific body.  And he knew that he had a terrific body, because he'd worked to get it, and he did own a mirror.  He knew what he looked like, and he knew how people looked at him.  But, sometimes, he forgot.  He forgot how gorgeous he was, how sexy.  He forgot that being in bed naked with artfully draped bedclothes might draw the attention of someone else in the room.  Jeff was sure that Nick was merely trying to sleep, or was half-asleep and thinking about something else entirely, blissfully unaware that he was on the verge of making Jeff drown in drool.

        Nick had no brain sometimes.

        Jeff loved him for it.

        Jeff wanted to do very X-rated things with him.  To him.  Right now.

        Nick frowned and shifted.  He was almost asleep.

        Jeff wanted to-

        Nick rolled onto his stomach.  There was a brief moment when the covers slipped and Jeff's cock jumped, and then Nick pulled the covers up and muttered "Once a week" and looked...well...

        He was naked.  Muscular.  Tattooed.  When he made that face, he looked like he belonged behind bars.

        It was at once impressive and disturbing.

        Nick was a harmless marshmallow-hearted pushover, of course.  But he didn't necessarily look like one.

        And he wasn't happy with Jeff right now.

        Jeff wasn't used to this behavior.  It seemed to mark a change in the balance of their relationship.  Usually he was firmly on top, and even when Nick was mad at him, he had the upper hand.  Right now, he was willing to do anything to get Nick to be nice to him again.

        Not that Nick was being mean to him.

        But he could feel Nick's unhappiness.  He knew that Nick was sort of pissed.  Pissed and willing to make him pay.

        He was willing to pay, too.  As long as in the end he could get Nick to smile at him again.

        When Nick smiled...  It was a happy smile.  Nick had a happy smile.  Beautiful.  Dimpled.  Those dimples were sexy.

        Nick was edible.

        Jeff wasn't going to get laid tonight.

        What a lousy world.

        Humming to himself, Drew trailed sparkles down to Brian's navel.

        Nick kept Drew supplied with glitter and tried to memorize every last second.

        "I don't get split ends."

        "I know.  I keep looking anyway."

        "Chris.  You spend too much time looking for small imperfections and ignore the giant flaws."

        "You don't have any flaws."

        "I slept with someone else."

        "That's a flaw," Chris admitted.

        "I'm sorry."

        "You love him."

        "In a different way."

        "He's younger and more talented and better-looking than I am."

        "Chris-"

        "He's sexier and has better stage presence and-"

        "Chris, no.  You can't compare yourself with AJ.  You have qualities he doesn't, and he has qualities you don't.  You're very different people with very different strengths.  I love him, yes, but in a different way.  And there's no one, no one, I love more than you."

        Chris thought about that.

        He dropped his sneakers and socks together by the door.  Dropped his bandanna and ran his fingers over his curls.  Looked at JC's back.  Checked out JC's ass.  Nice.

        Oh, right.  He was supposed to be dealing with their latest drama.  "Lance says he broke up with AJ.  Maybe.  Maybe not.  They had sex.  I don't know why anybody would want to have sex with AJ, but that's up to Lance.  I hate AJ.  He had the nerve to do damage to you.  Nobody raises a hand to you.  Nobody hurts my baby.  I want him to learn that, and I want him to pay.  But what am I supposed to do?  When I back down and think about it, put it in perspective, AJ hit you.  That's it.  There was a fight.  I can't hunt him down and kill him over it.  I want to, I think that he's an evil vicious bastard who has no right to breathe this air, but I'm not going to seek my revenge."

        Was JC even listening?

        "I'll make it simple for you, JC.  I'm your muse, your miracle, your angel, your inspiration.  I'm your husband and your baby, and you do what I say.  You do not go after AJ.  Forget about him.  Ignore him.  He doesn't matter.  I matter."

        Was it working?  He couldn't tell.

        "Look at me, JC.  Look at me and tell me that AJ doesn't matter."

        JC didn't turn.

        "Somebody hurt me, and you can't deal with that.  I'm insane, and it's your fault, and you're feeling guilty.  So you're closing up and planning to pull away from me.   That's really mature, JC, good for you.  What are you doing, you think you can go and hurt AJ for revenge?  Go seduce Lance if that's what you want.  You think I'll be any less crazy if you close off from me?  You think I'll be normal and happy if you leave me?  You know you can't leave me.  You don't want to leave me.  Why would you want to leave me?  I'm your...your...your life, JC, I'm your world."

        Something was tickling his brain, but he couldn't catch it.  He tried to remember what he'd just said.  Something, something...

        "Tell me you love me, JC."

        Nothing.

        "Tell me and look at me and mean it."

        JC turned.  Looked into his eyes.  There was something very quiet in JC just then.  "I love you, Justin."  He felt like JC was blessing his soul.  And then JC left the room.

        Justin decided not to go after JC.  He'd wait.  He'd try to figure out what was going on.  He had no clue.  JC was nuts.  JC was irrational.  JC was-

        "Go seduce Lance if that's what you want."

        Drew was humming Nick's Pixie Song.

        Brian was barely breathing.

        Nick wanted to cry.

        "You play that one more time, JC, I'm going to kill you."

        Shit.

        They were perfect and beautiful and in love and pure and he'd almost lost this, almost left this.

        Brian was as moved as he was.  He could see the love and light and purity shining in Brian's eyes, and he could see tears there, too.

        Drew was saying something.  Nick could catch a word here and there.  Brian.  Beautiful.  Magical.  Pixie.  Pretty.  Blue.

        Drew dusted blue sparkles over Brian's naked shoulder.

        "It's only sex."

        "Only sex!  If you want sex, you come to me!  Only sex - - how would you feel if I went out and did it with Chris?"

        Fire flashed in JC's eyes.  "Nobody touches you."

        "But it's okay for you to do somebody else?"

        "It's only my body, Justin."

        "You are not - - grab some sanity and get back to our room.  Now!  I don't know why I put up with you, you're a raving lunatic, going out to screw Lance just to get back at AJ for hurting me.  Like you screwing Lance wouldn't hurt me, too?  And why do you always take every little thing I say like it's - - I say stupid stuff, JC, I don't always think before I open my mouth.  You can pick and choose what to listen to.  Unless you really do want to go and have an affair with Lance.  If you love him and you'd rather be with him-"

        "No!  No, Justin, never, there's nobody-"

        "That's what I like to hear.  Good boy.  Now lock the door and make it up to me."

        Disturbed from sleep, Nick reached out and found him.  Strong fingers closed on the front of his shirt and tugged him in and down.  Nick wanted him closer?  He could get closer.

        "Nick," he whispered.

        Nick pulled the bedclothes up again and wrapped an arm around him.

        "Marshmallow."

        "You're not forgiven.  I'm just asleep."

        "Okay."

        "Take off your clothes."

        "Help me."

        "Feeble old man."

        "You know it."

        "All brawn and no brains."

        "Keep it up and you'll never get laid."

        "Keep it up?  I can't get it up in the first place."

        "I thought you were so hot you turned yourself on."

        "Yeah, but having you this close kills it."

        "Oh, that's too bad.  I didn't mean to destroy your sex life."

        Nick's eyes opened.  "Why are you turned on?"

        "I've been standing over there staring at you and having lewd fantasies about your naked body."

        "Oh."

        "Yes, Nick, thinking about having sex with you makes me hard."

        "Oh."

        "Watching you turn red turns me on, too."

        "Stop it."

        "Too bad I don't turn you on."

        "Yeah."

        Jeff waited.

        "Fantasies?"

        "Lewd fantasies."

        "Like what?"

        So pretty, Brian.  Pretty Brian.  Pretty pixie.  He wanted to make love to his pretty Brian.

        Something was missing.  Something wasn't right.

        Nick.

        He turned a little and found Nick.  There was more blue in Nick's hand.  He took Nick's hand in his and said, "Help me paint my Brian, Nick."

        Nick tried to pull away from him, didn't want to make Brian shiny.  Drew made Nick help, put Nick's hand against Brian's chest and slid it down to Brian's navel, leaving blue in its wake.  Nick had to help him make Brian blue.

        Pretty Brian.  Pretty blue.  Mmm...so pretty...  He decorated the inside of Brian's forearm.

        This wasn't his.  Not his Brian and not his glitter and not his project.  This was Drew's and he wasn't supposed to interfere.  This was Drew's exploration of Drew's sexuality, Drew's fantasy, Drew's-

        A hand on his arm, on his wrist, guiding his touch.  "It's okay, Nick."  Brian's voice, Brian's hand.  Drew, who had a thing for hands, already had decorated Brian's hands, and Brian's fingers left blue sparkles on Nick's skin.

        Brian's glitter came off on Nick.

        Nick looked at it.

        He drew an experimental line up Brian's ribcage.

        Drew stopped in mid-hum to kiss Nick's cheek.

        He wasn't going to cry.  He had work to do.  He had a pixie to paint.

        "Yes."

        "You cheated on me and I hate you."

        "Yes."

        "You want to marry me."

        "Yes."

        "Still not getting why."

        "You make me happy, Chris.  When I'm near you, when I even think about you, I...  AJ says you make me glow.  You're good for me.  I want to be good for you."

        "And."

        "And I have romantic stereotyped ideas about love and life, and I want to get married.  I want that for myself, that relationship, that companionship, that promise and everything that it means.  I always believed that I'd fall in love and make that commitment.  I have fallen in love.  With you."

        "Marriage is supposed to be forever.  Promise, commitment, what you just said."

        "I believe in that."

        "You cheated on me."

        "I'm sorry."

        "I didn't mean what I said."

        "When?"

        "Your hair doesn't suck."

        "Thank you."

        "I really like it."

        "I noticed."

        "And you're very good at..."

        "Thank you."

        "I was upset."

        "You had every right to be."

        "I do love you."

        "I love you, Chris."

        "Maybe you aren't perfect."

        "I never said that I was."

        "I thought you were."

        "I'm not."

        "I kept waiting for the other shoe to drop."

        "It's dropped."

        "Now what?"

        "That's up to you."

        "Maybe we should have sex."

        "Now?"

        "It was just a thought."

        Howie kissed him.

        "I'm really in love with you," he confessed, and pulled out Howie's ponytail.  "Really, really in love with you.  Fainting fairy tale in love with you."

        Howie kissed Chris and tied his hair back again.  "I won't ask you to marry me.  Now isn't the time."

        "Wish you'd noticed that when you did propose."

        "But I do want to marry you.  And I would like to ask you.  Someday."

        "Not today."

        "Not today."  Howie caught Chris's hand before it tugged his hair free again, and kissed Chris's knuckles.  "Someday."

        "Obscene.  X-rated.  Dirty.  Sexual."

        "About me."

        "Yes."

        "About things we've done, or things you'd like to do?"

        "Some of each."

        "There are things you want to do that we don't do?"

        "There's always something else out there to try.  But I don't have any unfulfilled yearnings."

        "You have lewd fantasies about me?"

        "Don't you have them about me?"

        "Yeah."  Nervous, Nick tugged at one earlobe.  "I guess."

        "You guess."

        "I do.  I have...sex daydreams."

        "Am I naked?"

        "Sometimes.  Usually.  By the end."

        "Am I good?"

        "Yeah."

        "Are you good?"

        "Probably better in my fantasies than in real life."

        "I doubt that."  Jeff ran a thumb over Nick's lower lip.  "What do we do?"

        "When?"

        "In your sex daydreams?"

        "Have sex."

        "What kind of sex?"

        "What do you mean, what kind of sex?  Sex."

        "Oral sex?  Anal sex?  Bondage sex?  Public sex?"

        "What?"

        "What kind of sex?"

        "Not - - I'm not tying you up and whipping you."  Nick glared at him.  "Sometimes it's tempting."

        Jeff laughed.

        "Our fantasy sex life is like our regular sex life.  Sometimes I still can't believe I have a sex life.  And you're in it."

        "Marshmallow."

        "Why are you calling me that?  Is this your way of telling me to lose weight?"

        "Nick, no.  Believe me.  It's more of a comment on your personality."

        "Not my intelligence?"

        Jeff smiled.  "Well..."

        "When you're being funny, I'll let you know."

        "You do that."

        "You have sex daydreams about me."

        "Yes, I do."

        "Am I good?"

        "You're always good, Nick."

        "You'd better hope so, since I'm the only one you're doing it with anymore."

        "You've been the only one for years now."

        "But before, you had the option of trying to be with someone else.  Drew or Nick or Brian."

        "It's not the same."

        "It better not be."

        "Did I ever tell you that you're gorgeous?"

        "Maybe once."

        "You're gorgeous."

        "Thanks."

        "You're blushing."

        "Go away."

        "You're cute when you blush."

        "Go away.  How much do you weigh?"

        "You know how much I weigh."

        "Do you have to get on top of me to remind me?"

        "I like to be on top."

        "I noticed."

        "Nick."

        "Jeff."

        "Nick."

        "Jeff."

        "Can we have sex now?"

        "No."

        "I'll let you be on top."

        "Jeff."

        "Nick."

        "Jeff."

        "Nick."

        "I'll let you know when you can have me."

        "And when will that be?"

        "When I'm ready."

        "Some time in the next ten minutes?"

        "You're not that lucky."

        "I'm not going to get lucky."

        "Not any time soon, no."

        "I don't know why I like you."

        "I know why you like me."

        "It's not for your personality."

        "It's not for my looks, either."

        "You can say that again," Jeff grumbled, climbing off of him.

        "Good night, Jeff."

        "AJ."

        "He's mature and intelligent and groomed for business.  I'm the bad boy.  Mama warned him about boys like me."

        "AJ."

        "Did your mother warn you about boys like me?"

        "No, but I wish that she had," Kevin said, watching AJ growl and pace.

        "You're like Lance."

        "In what way?"

        "You know what I'm talking about."

        "We're both in boy bands and we both sing bass."

        "You're clean and upstanding and anal retentive."

        "Thank you."

        AJ stopped pacing directly in front of Kevin.  "Do it for me."

        "What?"

        "Do it for me.  Come on, Kevin, you know how."

        "Do - - no.  AJ, no."

        "Come on, Kevin, just between friends."

        "I don't even do that for my girlfriends."

        "Lucky me, then."  AJ crawled on top of him, kneeling astride his hips, hands behind Kevin's shoulders on the back of the sofa.  "Do it for me."

        "AJ, no."

        AJ leaned even closer, intimate, seductive, close enough to kiss, dark eyes waiting and wanting.  "Come on, Kevin."  His voice was low, rough.  "Do it for me."

        "Baby, I know you're hurting.  Right now you feel like you could never love again.  Now all I ask is for a chance to prove that I love you."