Together Part Thirteen

Together, seventh in "Living"

Rating: NC-17 for graphic male-male sex

Disclaimer: The young men who comprise the Backstreet Boys, *NSYNC, and 98 Degrees are their own people. The author has not met anyone here described, nor does the author mean to suggest that these people act this way in real life. This writing is a work of fiction. I make no money from this venture.

Dedication: This slashfic is for Ewan McGregor and the Savage Garden slashers.

Notice: There are six stories that come before this one. Read those first. I'll wait.

Warning: "Together" includes depictions of, discussion of, and references to, consensual incest.

For Part Thirteen, I removed one sentence at Diamond's insistence. She wouldn't let me make fun of Justin. Some people.

Together we have seen -"The Answer to Our Life"

"Together" Part Thirteen:
The night is long / And I need your touch -"How Did I Fall in Love with You"

Drew was having a good day.

A lot had happened. Nick had taken him back, accepted his love. Brian and Nick were reunited. Good things. He was still realizing just how good.

Nick had taken care of him on the sofa.

He needed to come again.

Brian had been standing with him, behind him, holding him, keeping him from either fainting or throwing himself onto the bed on top of those gorgeous masculine bodies. It had been good, holding onto Brian, seeing his brother taking care of Nick. A beautiful thing. Nick and Nick. Drew wanted more of that.

Brian was busy, now, on the bed with Nick and Nick. Jeff was, oh, Jeff was right here. Naked.

"Do you mind?"

"No." He didn't mind. Jeff moved in behind him, one arm around his waist holding him to Jeff's chest. He leaned back a little, getting comfortable, watching the action on the bed.

Brian and Nick and Nick were going to make love.

"You ever been with two people at once?" Nick asked.

"No." It couldn't be that big of a deal. It was probably awkward, anyway.

"I have." Nick was smirking. "Brian, too. We're good at this. Tell him, Brian."

Brian looked right at him, touching him, fingers skimming his jaw. That one simple touch made his skin feel all...all...tingly. He could still feel it and Brian wasn't even touching him anymore. And those eyes, Brian kept looking at him, right at him, right...right...oh...so pretty... Nice Brian, Brian was nice, nice and pretty and Drew's husband, married to Drew. Lucky, lucky Drew. That made Brian his brother-in-law. Practically his brother. "Jeff."

"What?"

"He has blue eyes." Jeff had blue eyes, too. Blue. Nice blue. Blue blue blue. Blue, blue, oh... Oh... Slow, slow, kissing... Kissing Brian... Good kissing, good Brian, good...good all over... Good and new. New. Different. Not like Jeff. Not strong and powerful like Jeff. Not sweet and sexy and painful like Drew. Not contradictory like Nick. Good and pretty and nice and when had he gotten this hard? He hadn't been this hard a second ago. What had oh, mmm, nice kiss, this was a nice kiss, Brian had, oh, a nice mouth...

Jeff had never seen Nick zone that fast. Ever. One touch, one look, and Brian had Nick horny and spacey. Now Nick was kissing Brian like Brian was the only person in the room and they had years to spare.

Jeff made a mental note to stay far away from Brian. If Brian could do that to Nick, there was no telling what Brian might do to him.

Nick liked Brian.

Nick smirked. Neanderthal putty in pixie hands. Lacheys were easy.

Easy and damned good-looking. While Nick was distracted, he could get his hands on some of that muscle. Nick was seriously buffed and seriously - - whoa...seriously liking Brian. Licking Brian. Hey, now, that was Drew's Brian, and Drew's big brother had no right to be all over Brian like that.

Something had to be done here.

He reached in to intervene, but before he could get a hand in there, the big stupid pushed him away, one hand solid on his chest, and lowered Brian down to the mattress. Hey! No fair getting horizontal with Brian! He climbed onto Nick's back and sat.

Nice view. All of those muscles. They were flexing. Nick needed to lick every single one. He ignored the scars. He wasn't paying attention to that right now. That would ruin his happy mood. And he was very happy to be sitting on top of the big stupid, watching over one naked, muscular shoulder while Drew's big brother kissed the seductive pixie.

He reached back and smacked Nick's ass. Twice.

Whoa holy shit! What the fuck was this, the WWF? Whoa, they better not kiss like this in the ring. Oh holy mother of...oh...god...kissing, this was kissing, this was that kissing mouth. He remembered this mouth. It was oh god, yes, the kissing mouth, the cocksucking mouth. And the big stupid was all naked and on top of him and if he rubbed up a little, just like this, then he could feel all of that naked skin against himself, the muscle, the, oh, the cock, the big stupid ugly had a cock. He remembered now.

It was a big cock.

And it was hard.

Drew's cock liked him. Maybe Nick's cock liked him, too. He'd have to find out.

He stopped kissing, which was really, really hard to do, because the kissing mouth had been licking his tongue in just the very best way and starting to let him suck on that lower lip, which was his new favorite thing. But he stopped kissing and said, "Roll over."

"For what?"

Oh, now the kissing mouth was, oh, god, on his nipples. Nipples nipples nipples. He liked this. That slow licking and then soft kissing and then a painful hard-fast suck. More soft and slow. Sudden hard-fast. Soothing soft and slow, or what would have been soothing if his cock weren't really hard right now and ready to get some of that kissing mouth down south a little more.

Which reminded him. "Roll over."

"Why?"

Mouth moving down some. Oh, that felt good. He wanted that on his cock right now right now right now come on, a little more, please, it would be so fucking good if - - damn it, this was not what they were supposed to be doing! Big stupid ugly was licking his navel. That was not on today's agenda! Nick kicked and grabbed and pushed and rolled. "Stay there! Brian, make him stay."

Brian was cooperative, unlike some big stupid people Nick might mention. Brian got half beside the big stupid, half resting on his chest, and started kissing. That would make the big stupid stay.

Nick slid down. Time to make friends. He took a second to kiss Brian's butt on the way. Make new friends but keep the old. Now, damn, these were some thighs. He gave them a little petting, and they didn't seem to mind. Maybe they'd let him in to play.

Brian was making soft half-moans, and Nick's hand was rubbing over Brian's back, and they were trying to move closer together, Brian crawling onto Nick more, Nick's hips starting to turn.

Down! Down, bad hips. Stay. Nick grabbed and pushed and held. Stay there. Brian was forgetting. Probably getting all involved in the kiss. Stupid ugly didn't kiss that well. Brian was easy. Nick would have to kiss Brian and show Brian how it was really done. But not right now. Now was for making friends with this oh, sweet damn, very nice cock.

Very nice cock. Hello, nice cock. Nick gave it a friendly tug. Oh, it liked that. It wanted to play. He could play with the happy erection.

It was a good one. Built just right. Anything else would've looked silly between those intimidating thighs, but this was a good one, very nice. If he closed his eyes and tried to remember Drew, he could almost feel the slight difference. And oh, look, Nick's balls. He wanted to play with them, too. Nick wouldn't mind. Nick was busy sucking off Brian's face.

Hey hey hey! Hey! Nick escaped being kneed in the nose when Nick and Brian rolled over without warning. Now Brian was on the bottom and Nick was most definitely on top, and Brian was making inviting "fuck me" sounds. Speaking of fucking, that was one fine ass. Tight and round and damn, he wanted to get in there.

Maybe he could.

No one was looking. Now was his chance.

Drew wanted to come and was dying from envy. Jeff wouldn't let him go to the bed. He only wanted to climb in and share. Why should his brother get to have all of the fun? And Brian was making that noise, he knew that noise, it made his cock twitch. He could show Nick what to do when Brian made that noise. He could show...show...show......

Jeff said, "Oh, Nick," right in his ear.

So good, so fucking good. Just like he'd known it would be. This fine ass, smooth curves against his hands, the tight pucker against his tongue. How could anyone who got fucked by Jeff be this tight? Smooth, even skin, this fine ass, he couldn't get over it. And Jeff didn't do this, how could Jeff not do this, he couldn't believe anyone not wanting to do this. And Nick, god damn, opened for him, wanted him, let him in.

More, he wanted more, he needed more. Not enough. Gotta have, oh, god, holy shit, oh...

He couldn't, Nick would kill him, Jeff would kill him, but oh, he wanted more of this. He licked harder, deeper, and Nick's hips went up and back and wanted more. Nick wanted it. He couldn't, it wasn't his place, this was enough.

Not enough.

One final lick. A little more. Damn, so fine, so sweet, he wanted this, and he gave Nick a final tongue-fuck.

And then one slow finger eased inside that tight, wet hole.

There had been something hot and wet and forceful, trying to get inside him. It had been surprising, almost shocking, and good. He'd wanted it to stay and fuck him. He wanted to fuck Brian. He was very much in love with Brian. Brian's mouth. Hot blue eyes and hungry, wet kisses and delicious, throaty noises that made his cock twitch. And he remembered something Jeff had said once, so he put his hand down and stroked up inside Brian's thigh. He squeezed warm muscle and Brian sucked his tongue.

And then that hot wet almost-fucking thing was gone. And there was something else. It was inside him.

He rolled over and it came out, and he reached for Nick and kissed, kissed soft red lips. Nick was hard, and he took that in his hand, ran his thumb over the head, cupped Nick's balls.

And there was something there again, something pressing against him, something teasing and flirting. Brian was touching him there. Brian's finger was - - he rolled over and kissed Brian.

And then he got lost. There were too many people kissing and too many people touching. Mouths and hands and cocks and that pretty ass and those sweet nipples and sweating masculine bodies. He couldn't keep track of them, couldn't even keep track of himself. He remembered petting Nick's hair and kissing Brian's feet and sucking Brian's balls and having Nick's fingers go deep, deep inside...

And he tried to touch Brian there, but Nick wouldn't let him, so he licked his way in, instead. And then Nick helped him give Brian a blowjob. Not that he needed much help, but he liked sharing, liked licking Brian's balls and sucking Brian's cock and kissing Nick all at once.

And then they were licking him again. One in front of him and one behind him and he was on his knees, his hand in Brian's hair. He looked up...and saw Jeff and Drew.

And then Brian was kneeling up, and kissing his mouth, and whispering. "They already love you. Let us love you, too."

He said Jeff's name, in a soft voice, and touched Brian's cheek.

Brian kissed him again. He felt Nick against his back, that solid young body, a hard cock against his ass. Hard. Not like Jeff. But it felt...it wanted...he wanted... Fingers, there were fingers now, right inside of him, Nick's fingers again. Pushing and stretching. He felt...felt...

Then Brian said Jeff's name, and moved away from him.

And Nick sparked something hot inside.

Jeff was right there, kissing his mouth and pushing him down and getting on top of him. No fingers. Nick was gone. Jeff was here. Jeff's fingers inside. Jeff's mouth kissing him. Jeff's hard body against him. Jeff's cock naked in his hand, hard and heavy.

Then Jeff made a questioning noise and stopped kissing him, turned around to look. Nick.

And then he was lost again. There was Jeff, familiar yet at the mercy of Brian and Nick, just as he was. There was Nick, fun and dangerous. There was Brian, happy and surprising. And then there was a low, pained sound, and he was inside Nick.

He was inside Nick.

There was a shocking intimacy. Brian was smoothing sweat-dark blond strands from Nick's forehead. Nick's breathing was shallow, his body trembling, his lips wet and parted and...

...so sweet...

...and everything was a blur again, moans and long limbs and ecstasy. There was love and passion and jism everywhere. He could swear, later, that Jeff had rimmed him, but was afraid to ask. He was sure, beyond a doubt, that Brian had fucked him.

His muscles ached and his lips were sore and he only wanted to kiss Nick one more time, when Drew was there. Drew was there and hard and afraid and eager, all hungry kisses and quick hands. Together, they undressed Drew, then touched what they bared.

He was kissing Drew, mouth to mouth, tongue to tongue, when Drew came down Brian's throat.

And he was cradling Drew to his chest when Nick came inside Drew's body.

Howie rolled over and faced Chris.

Chris touched his chest, looking into his eyes.

"You hate me."

"Yes," Chris said in a mild tone, stroking his skin.

"You knew I was with AJ."

"Yes."

"Why didn't you say anything?"

"Why didn't you say anything?" Chris asked, and kissed him.

His baby.

AJ had hurt his baby.

Hit his baby. Hurt and hit and scratched and harmed.

Nobody did harm to his baby.

Nobody touched his baby.

He'd keep his baby safe.

"I'll protect you."

His baby slept. Beautiful. So beautiful...

I need a reason, I need a sign
-"The Answer to Our Life"

Nick opened his eyes and yawned against Drew's hair. Whoa! He looked with wary eyes over Drew's head at Drew's big brother, who was petting his sleeping Drew. He'd forgotten the five-man sex party they'd enjoyed last night. And if Nick were here, then... He craned his neck. Brian was spooned up behind him, which he'd guessed from the familiar feel of it, and Jeff was spooned behind Brian.

So. Here he was in the middle of a naked man sandwich. He should wake up Drew and Brian and Jeff so they could have more sex.

Speaking of sex. Drew's big brother had fucked him. He remembered that.

He was going to have to hand his Cocksucker of the Year award over to Nick Timmons-Lachey. He'd met the master. Nick was every man's wet dream. The King Cocksucker. The Head Head-Giver. The-

Nick reached across Drew and touched his face. "Good morning."

Oh. "Good morning. Would you like my Drew?"

Nick's fingers grazed Drew's cheek. "You'd give him away?"

"I lend him out for parties." Brian's foot slid up his calf.

"You always hold onto him like that?"

Nick looked down. "I don't want it to fall off during the night."

Nick smiled at him. Warm, happy smile. Warm, happy eyes.

"I'm in love with you. Have some Drew."

"I'd like to have some Nick."

Oh. Nick needed to stop looking at him like that. "You can have Brian, too."

"He won't mind?"

"Brian's easy. He likes Nicks and Lacheys. You're a shoo-in."

Drew yawned.

Nick's knuckles skimmed his brother's jaw. "Wake up."

"I like him asleep," Nick protested.

A hand reached over Nick's shoulder; he watched Nick's hand meet it. Jeff. Then it retreated. Jeff was awake. "Good morning, Jeff."

Jeff pulled his hair.

Drew did a little scowling and scritching. He held his sleepy Drew. Drew's hand patted over his arm. "Drew," he whispered.

Drew made a vague, sleepy noise.

"Drew."

Drew's hand met Nick's chest.

Drew's eyes opened.

Drew stared at Nick.

Nick tried to smile.

"Hi," Drew said.

"Hi," Nick said.

"Kiss him," Nick whispered in Drew's ear.

"Close your eyes," Drew whispered back.

Nick let go and closed his eyes.

Silence. Brian's sleep-breathing. A soft, wet sound. They were kissing. Drew and Nick were kissing. And he was missing it. Damn it, this sucked. He'd peek. Just a little peek. Just a, hey, Brian was getting friendly. He opened his eyes.

Now, damn.

Drew was kissing Nick, and Nick was holding Drew all close, and Drew's fingers were in Nick's hair, and tongue, they were kissing with tongue. They were, that was, oh god, they were kissing. Kissing right in front of him. And Nick's arm, all bulging with muscles and decorated with ink and one fine work of art in general, was wrapped around Drew, and Nick's hand was sliding up and down over Drew's back, and Drew rubbed against Nick. There was no mistaking that move. And Nick's hand slid down and found Drew's naked ass.

And then Brian said, "Oh," very softly against Nick's shoulderblade. And Brian was getting all sorts of friendly behind him. What was Jeff doing? But he couldn't turn around to look, because Drew was kissing Nick right in front of him and he had to watch.

And naked, they were all naked, naked and going to screw each other and he was going to get to see!

"There is a God."

The stupid Lachey brothers started snickering. They were sexy and naked and touching each other and laughing at him. They were supposed to be having sex, damn it! He found Drew's hand and moved it from Nick's shoulder to Nick's thigh. There. That was better. Drew could take it from there.

Nick's eyes widened and Nick made a shocked sound, and looked down, and blinked. And moaned, just a little.

Good Drew. He patted Drew's ass and managed to roll over. And look at that. Jeff was kissing Brian's shoulders and touching Brian's body with busy hands. And Brian was rocking and rubbing back against Jeff's hips. One guess what Brian wanted.

Drew gasped.

Brian dragged Nick closer. He kissed Brian. "Good morning."

Brian panted at him. "Nick. Nick. He's..."

"Jeff. He's Jeff."

"I'm..."

Brian tended to be more eloquent than this. Bad Jeff. "Do you want him to fuck you?"

"Sorry," Jeff said. "I only do Nick."

"You did Drew once," Nick argued. How could anyone refuse Brian?

"I only do Nick and Drew," Jeff said.

"You won't hurt him."

"Nick, come here," Brian said.

"I'm right here."

"Let him do this to you."

"He's happy where he is."

"I want to feel...that power...touch my soul."

"What?" Jeff asked.

"He wants you to fuck him," Nick translated. "Brian, he won't do it."

"I want him to...take me...move me..."

"You'd better do it," Nick told Jeff. He heard Nick moan and looked over his shoulder to see Nick on top of his Drew. "Your husband's about to commit adultery. You might as well, too," he told Jeff.

"I only do Nick," Jeff said. "And Drew, once."

"You want to do me first? I can take it."

"No, you can't," Nick said.

"Shut up. You're kissing Drew. And yes, I can. If Jeff can fuck you, he can fuck me."

Nick kissed Drew and ignored him.

"Anything you can do, I can do better," Nick muttered, and turned back to Brian, who was jacking himself. Nick took over for him, stroking Brian's cock with quick pulls.

He liked the feel of Brian in his hand, the hot flesh, the quick hardening, the easy familiarity. He knew just how to get Brian off. "Brian, Nick's going to fuck my Drew. You want to watch?"

Brian breathed faster.

"Maybe Nick will suck him. You know Drew likes to get his cock sucked."

Faster.

"You like to get your cock sucked, too. You want Nick to suck yours? Should I ask him if he wants to? I bet he wants to. I bet he'll suck you off if you want him to. You want him to? You want Nick's cocksucking mouth on your-"

Brian came, panting, shaking, rocking his hips back against Jeff.

"He sucked me," Nick said. "He sucks Jeff. He even sucks Drew. You want him to suck you? Jeff, how long does it take you to come?"

"As long as I want it to," Jeff said.

"How big is that thing?"

Jeff smiled at him, still pumping steadily against Brian. "Guess."

"Let me suck you."

"My turn," Drew said.

"Be quiet. You're kissing Nick," Nick said.

Nick. He was kissing Nick. Nick was kissing him.

"I'm not a bad person," he said.

Nick kissed his neck. "You're beautiful." Nick's hand skimmed his side. "I want to make love to you," was quiet against his neck.

"Yes! Quick, where's the lube?"

Drew's laughter broke into a wince, a gasp, when his brother's mouth found his nipple. Nick's thumb rubbed his pelvic bone. He closed his eyes, feeling his spine begin to arch, memorizing the feel of Nick's kiss, Nick's touch.

"Brian, stop - - what are you - - hey! Are you - - stop that! Jeff, get out of there! No putting your perverted fingers up Brian's ass. Dirty old man! Hey! Wow. Wow. Drew, Drew, you're..."

Oh, Nick. Drew stretched and Nick's fingers ran down into his groin, tracing the crease where his thigh met his body. Nick was going to make love to him. Yes, please, oh, please, he'd wanted, he'd... They couldn't, they shouldn't, but this love, this longing, being with Nick every day, all of the time, being close in every way they could, loving and longing and denying. Seeing Nick with Jeff and feeling a dozen different emotions. And now, now, Nick was kissing down his ribcage, stroking behind his balls, and everything was hard and tight and sensitive, and he wanted, he wanted, he wanted.

"Oh, Nick, please." He turned his head to one side, raising his hips, trying to deny the pleasure yet asking for more. His balls were tight and Nick's finger pressed against that private place and he gasped. He wanted, he wanted, "Please, Nick." His breath came quickly and his hips rose again.

"'Nick please, please Nick' means 'Suck me 'til I scream,'" Nick translated. "But you can't do it until he asks for it right."

His hand slid down Nick's back. All of that muscle. The strength. The power. Nick was strong enough to be with him. He was strong enough to be with Nick. He knew that now. He knew - - oh, oh... Nick was kissing his mouth, and he opened for more, inviting in Nick's tongue, licking inside the sweet curve of Nick's lower lip. This mouth, what was the word...full, ripe, lush... Nick's, but his to kiss, at least for now. Nick's arm was around him, strong and hard, and Nick was heavy, pressing him down, but he couldn't keep still, because if he arched up just like this then his cock rubbed against Nick, and he was thinking that instead of waiting for Nick's mouth he'd just come right here, as he was. And Nick's cock, it was right there, right here, and when he wrapped his fingers around the shaft, it twitched and Nick groaned into their kiss.

It was hard, and he was hard, and everything ached, and he wanted Nick to make love to him, and he wanted Nick to suck him, and Nick's kiss made his nipples hurt, and then Nick stopped kissing him and he opened his eyes and Nick was right there, Nick, his brother, gorgeous and kissed and very close. Naked and right on top of him and he'd never noticed the brilliant color of those deep-set blue eyes. Nick's fingers stroked his balls, and he gasped, managing to maintain eye contact, unwilling to look away from Nick at this moment.

"Nick," Nick said.

"Nick," he repeated, meaning it.

Nick kissed his right nipple and the shocking pleasure trapped his breath. Then Nick looked him in the eyes again. "Nick, please."

"Nick," and he was panting, "please."

A kiss to the other nipple, a slow sucking, and he twisted away from the feel before it overwhelmed him. He opened his eyes to see Nick once more. "Nick, please."

"Nick, please," and he was begging, and his cock was throbbing, and his balls were tight, and he said, "Oh, Nick, please, Nick," and his body was still twisting, wanting, needing, asking. He wanted, oh, please, he wanted Nick's mouth, that mouth on him, on his cock, that mouth, he wanted... He wanted it to suck him, suck him, suck him in and swallow him down and then he could come, come in Nick's mouth, come...come...come...

Drew.

Drew moving.

Drew asking.

Drew wanting.

Moving beneath him and asking him and wanting him, wanting something from him, and he knew what it was. Drew's torso twisted, hips rising and falling, hands tensing on his shoulders. His hands pinned Drew's hips to the mattress, and he looked. Muscles flexing. Chest rising and falling with uneven breaths. Cock erect and dark and ready.

He cupped Drew's balls.

Drew let out a shaky, breathy moan, looking into his eyes, pleading. Suffering. He was supposed to make Drew say something, but he couldn't remember what, and he didn't care. He knew what Drew wanted from him.

He was going to give it.

Brian was climbing over him to see. He gripped Brian's hand, his free hand clutching his hard cock. Drew was breathless, eager, lost, making love with the air. Nick was stroking Drew's thighs and nuzzling Drew's balls. He stared as best he could, not wanting to miss anything. Drew was fucking sexy, and lusting after Nick like a horny nympho. Nick was fucking sexy, and ready to take care of Drew like a well-trained professional.

Drew was making that sexy urgent noise, trying to angle his hips to get his cock in Nick's mouth. Nick was licking his balls and fingering that sweet place. Drew loved to get sucked, always asked for that first, wanted it now. And Nick was the one to ask.

Nick was licking up the crease where Drew's thigh met his groin, licking up Drew's pubic hair, one hand massaging behind Drew's knee. Watching that, Nick could imagine it, the taste and musk of Drew, the heated skin and coarse curls, stroking Drew in sensitive spots, squeezing over muscle.

Then Nick made a hungry noise, raised his head, and swallowed Drew's cock. His lips were pressed to Drew's groin, eyes closed, one hand reaching back to test the opening to Drew's body.

Drew had made a breathless "aaahhh" sound and shivered all over. Now he was rocking his hips, head back, lips parted, muscles in his thighs trembling. His hips jacked up and fucked into Nick's throat; Nick made that hungry noise again, louder, and sucked hard. Drew screamed.

Drew screamed.

Nick's finger pushed into Drew's body.

The scream choked off and Drew's head tossed on the pillow. Nick's cheeks were hollowing, throat working, finger rubbing in and out of Drew. Nick's greedy, wet sounds alone could have induced orgasm. Nick wanted Drew's cock.

Drew froze, still, silent, in mid-writhe, muscles in mid-flex, mouth open, one hand open and reaching.

Drew gasped.

Nick made obscene swallowing noises.

Drew gasped.

Nick's arm came around Drew's waist, lifting Drew's hips, pulling Drew to his mouth.

Drew gasped.

Nick growled and suckled harder.

Watching, disbelieving, Nick came in his hand.

Whoa. Bad hair day. Justin grimaced at himself in the mirror. Bandanna day. He turned to visit his suitcase, but found himself facing JC. Being kissed, a soft kiss, surprising and sweet. Then JC started running a hand over his butt.

"Not now," he said, trying to resist the urge to rub his arousal against JC.

"Justin," and JC cupped his ass, fingers pressing right against the seam of his jeans, finding his...

"JC." Oh, JC. He wanted this. He hadn't, they hadn't, oh, god...

"Let me turn you on," JC whispered against his mouth.

Yes. "JC. What," oh, "got you," that felt good, "why are you..."

"You," JC said, still rubbing right against his hole. It was just enough to drive him to want more. Just enough to be unsatisfying.

Him. Of course. "I wasn't doing anything."

"You look so good," JC said, and that hand slid down inside the back of his jeans. "I want you to feel good, too. Do you feel good?"

In his excitement, Nick was holding onto Brian too tightly. He couldn't stop staring. Nick and Drew. Drew and Nick. Kissing and touching and rubbing against each other like Lacheys in heat. They were in that place where everything was erotic, wondrous, stimulating. Drew had slid right past post-orgasm languor into a second wind, aroused and eager all over again.

Everything they did, touching and being touched, they found exciting. New. Arousing. They couldn't get enough of each other, and their responses were dizzying. Drew was fascinated by Nick, by the texture of skin, the bulge of muscle, the rhythm of breath. He found the pulse in Nick's throat and licked it, kept licking, started humming, and there he was, humming and licking and running a satisfied hand down Nick's arm.

Jeff handed Brian the lubricant. Brian handed it to Nick. Nick pushed it into Nick's hand. Nick dropped it in favor of groping Drew's thighs. Nick took Nick's hand and slicked up the forefinger. Then he did the middle finger, too. Then he decided to do the ring finger. Before he could do any more, Brian smacked him and took Nick's hand, guiding it to where it belonged. Right against Drew's ass.

"Mmm," Drew said, and rubbed against Nick's hand.

Nick smiled and propped Drew's leg over his shoulder and looked. Touched. Licked. Probed.

"Mmm."

One finger.

Drew stretched and rubbed at his balls.

Nick flipped Drew facedown. On his hands and knees, Drew caught sight of his audience. He moved over a bit and, without pausing to say hello, kissed Brian. Brian moaned. Drew whimpered. Brian leaned back into Nick, surrendering to Drew's kiss. Nick's fingers fucked Drew's ass. Drew's tongue fucked Brian's mouth. Nick's tongue fucked Drew's ass. Brian's tongue fucked Drew's mouth.

Jeff was right behind Nick, against his back, against his ass, all hard muscle and hard cock and quick breath. Nick was too captivated by the scene to have the energy to ask Jeff to fuck him, but he did take the time to realize that there was one big cock hard and hot, alive and ready, just pushing against his ass. For a second he was grateful that Jeff wasn't asking to fuck him, because he didn't want to be confronted with having to say yes or no about having that thing in him.

Drew dropped and rolled, breaking away from Brian, on his back again. Nick rose over him, looking down into his eyes. Looking up with trust, Drew pulled a knee to his chest, hooking his other leg over Nick's shoulder again.

One long thrust into Drew's body.

Nick moaned, eyes closing, grip tightening.

Drew groaned, rocking up against Nick, seeking more.

Nick's hips thrust against Drew, cock driving deeper, and Drew panted Nick's name. Their gazes sought each other as their bodies joined in this primal, forbidden act. Drew's hands caught at Nick's shoulders, and his sweat-slick chest heaved for breath as Nick fucked into him.

Nick came, groaning, and leaned in to kiss Drew. In a moment they were rubbing together again, muscular chest to chest, licking each other's lips. Nick had Drew's cock in his hand, and Drew was breathing hot and heavy, and they were making out like horny teenagers, and Drew came, and then Nick was draped over Drew, muscular male bodies relaxed, and they slept.

Finally taking his eyes from the brothers, Nick remembered how to breathe normally. "Brian?" he whispered.

"What?" Brian whispered back, still staring.

"Make them do it again."

There was silence. The Lacheys slept. Their lovers watched.

"Come on," Jeff said softly, skimming a hand down Nick's arm.

"Where?" Nick asked. "I'm not leaving. They might wake up and fuck each other again. I don't want to miss it."

"I need a shower," Jeff said, "and you're coming with me so we can conserve water."

"What about Brian?"

"He's staying here to keep an eye on them."

"Can't I stay here to keep an eye on them? Wait. You're going to be wet and naked and soapy."

"Yes."

Nick rolled over and looked at Jeff. Looked down Jeff's body. "Damn. Come on, let's go."

Mmm. Morning? He was in bed, and he could smell sex, and there was someone on top of him. Someone heavy and...

Oh god.

He counted to ten.

Drew opened his eyes. He raised a hand and smacked the shoulder in front of his face.

Blinking, Nick raised his head. They looked at each other.

"We have to stop meeting like this," Drew said.

"Yeah," Nick agreed. "Hi."

"Hi."

They looked at each other some more. "You're okay with this. Not that it's okay. Not that it's not okay. I-"

Drew smiled a little. "Yeah. I'm okay, you're okay. We're okay. Okay?"

"Okay." Nick looked relieved. "Where's the peanut gallery?" he asked, looking around.

"You mean the penis gallery," Nick said, coming out of the bathroom with Jeff and Brian. "It's your turn for the shower. We used up all the hot water. Which is okay, because you two need to be doused with cold water anyway." Cupping a hand around his arousal, Nick sat down on the bed and pushed Nick's shoulder out of the way, leaning in to kiss Drew. "Take your time. I want to watch Brian seduce Jeff."

Drew kissed Nick again. "Take pictures for me." He walked to the bathroom naked, since modesty was pointless by now. He got in the shower first, turning on the water. Nick got in with him, turning up the heat, kissing him. He kissed back. He was kissing his brother in the shower. "Nick."

"Drew."

God. "I love you."

"I love you," Nick said, and kissed him again. He leaned up to Nick's kiss, wrapping an arm around his brother's neck, opening Nick's mouth for his tongue. It hurt, it hurt, but it was Nick, he loved Nick. Trying to breathe through the tightening in his chest, Drew leaned his shoulders back against the cold shower wall.

Nick's hands slid up his spine, pulling him close to Nick's body, against that solid chest. His balls grew tight as Nick sucked his tongue. "Please."

"Again?" Nick asked.

"Oh, Nick, I, please," and he rubbed himself against Nick's hip, kissing Nick's neck, accidentally catching Nick's flesh with his teeth when Nick cupped his ass. Nick moaned with pleasure, which sent an unexpected ache up Drew's thighs. And then he was sucking Nick's neck and Nick had a finger up inside his body exploding his pleasure and their hips were grinding together, and he got his hand on Nick's cock and Nick's other hand was on his cock and he was jacking Nick, Nick was jacking him, wet and heated and steamy, and he was groaning but he couldn't stop it, and Nick kissed his mouth.

He came in Nick's hand.

Then he was going down, slowly, sucking and rubbing on his way, down on his knees, hands sliding down water-slick muscle, and Nick groaned and cupped the back of his head, and Nick's cock jutted for his mouth, proud and eager.

His left hand wrapped around the base of Nick's cock, and his right hand gripped Nick's naked hip, curving back over rounded muscle. Closing his eyes, as his tongue met hot flesh once more, he heard his brother whisper his name.

Justin had left JC to pay Chris a visit, but Chris wasn't in his room. Maybe Lance knew where-

AJ.

Justin felt a growl climb up the back of his throat.

"No, no, don't put it away!" Nick protested.

Jeff zipped his pants. "We have to go."

"No, you don't have to go. He can go. We don't need him. But you can stay."

"You three need time alone."

"No, we don't."

"Yes, you do." Jeff kissed Drew's cheek. Kissed Drew's mouth. "Love you."

"Love you," Drew said, and returned the kiss.

"Take care of them," Jeff said, and kissed Brian's cheek. "Take care of yourself," he added, and let his fingers skim Brian's jaw. Then he turned away before Brian could melt, charm, or zone him.

"Coward," Drew whispered.

Brian smiled and slid a hand up Nick's arm. "Thank you for coming."

"Don't you two get started again," Nick said. "I - - hey, hey, hey! Down! Brian, Brian, get off of - - Brian! Bad Brian. Let the Neanderthal breathe." Nick pushed Brian off to one side. "You'll have to excuse him. He doesn't get out much. Oh, now you've got Nick all kissed and horny. Drew, you'd better take care of this."

"Thank you," Drew said, looking up at his brother.

"Thank you," Nick said, and touched Drew's cheek.

"How long can you gaze into each other's eyes before you need to blink?" Nick Carter asked.

"A long time," Drew murmured.

"Now I have to blink," Nick said.

"Staring contest," Drew said.

"I always win," Nick said.

"That's because you have those shifty eyes and-"

"I have what?"

"That sloping criminal forehead, those-"

"You blinked!"

"I did not!"

"You blinked."

"I did not!"

"Don't push me!"

"Don't - - stop it - - you - -"

"You little-"

"This is how you overcome incest angst?" Nick asked. "You fight like dorks?"

"Yes," Drew said.

"Drew," Nick said, and caught his brother's hand. "Any time you-"

"Nick-"

"Any time. I mean it. Just tell me. You don't-"

"I love you," Drew said, "and I want this. I want to be with you every way I can."

"Only if you know we can stop."

"It hurts to be with you but it hurts to be without you. Either way it's killing me."

"And at least this way you get sex out of it," Nick Carter said.

Nick turned. Glared. "Carter, not now."

"Can we skip the tearful fond farewells? You're going to see each other again. If you're lucky, you'll see more of me, too."

"I've seen all of you there is to see."

"I've seen more of you than I ever wanted to see."

"Tell me," Nick said, walking closer to Nick. "Which parts of me didn't you want to see, again? The muscular parts or the well-hung parts?"

"He's not playing fair," Nick said.

"Life isn't fair, Nick," Nick said. "If it were, you could get me to suck you every day."

"Can I quit the Backstreet Boys and tour with you?"

"Why would you want to do that?" Nick asked, so innocent he batted his eyelashes.

"You really have to fuck me again."

"I could kiss you."

"No, no."

"Nick-"

"Weren't you leaving?"

"Nick-"

"Jeff's trying to go. Better go with him."

"Stand still." Nick cupped the side of Nick's neck with one hand, and planted a soft kiss on the other side. Then he whispered in Nick's ear, "I love you."

Nick closed his eyes and held still.

Nick caressed his cheek, kissed the other side of his neck, and whispered it again. "So you remember."

"Why aren't you this romantic with me?" Jeff asked.

"I am," Nick said.

"You two should tape your sex life and sell it as an epic miniseries," Nick decided, opening his eyes.

"Look who's talking," Nick said.

"Weren't you leaving?"

"You can leave."

"I'm naked."

"You might scare the women and children."

"You do that clothed."

"Somebody think of a comeback," Nick said.

"Am I allowed to keep fighting if he forfeits?" Nick asked.

"No," Jeff said.

"Oh, it's you. Kiss me good-bye."

"I'm always around if you want to say hi. If you want to talk to somebody."

"Yeah. Okay."

"I'm leaving you in good hands."

"Nick gives the best head of anybody on the planet. Is that natural talent or because he practices on you?"

Nick headed for the door.

Jeff smiled. "It's natural talent. I just got lucky."

"Damn. You should let him sleep over more often."

"Maybe I will."

"He's leaving without you."

"You embarrassed him."

"He should be embarrassed. His ears stick out."

"Be nice."

"He's never nice to me."

"Say five good things about him."

"About him? Five? I can't even think of one! He's Drew's brother, that's one. He married you, that's two. Dimples. Cocksucking mouth."

"One more."

"He said he loved me twice and didn't expect me to say anything back."

"He's like that. He gives love freely." Jeff kissed Nick. "You have a lot in common."

"What is this for you?" Howie demanded, pacing the room once, not knowing where to stand or where to look. "Is it about the sex? You're here for my body? You're here for my hair?"

"I love you," Chris said, sounding calm, almost bored.

"You hate me," Howie said, and looked at Chris, walked closer. "You hate me."

"You're the most vile person on the planet," Chris said, with the same inflection.

Howie tried to see Chris in those brown eyes. "What's happened to you? What's wrong with you?"

"Maybe I grew up," Chris said.

"No. No, no, I didn't do this to you."

"Who else could have?"

"I love you. I never wanted to hurt you like this. I never wanted to...to..."

"Should we go down for breakfast?"

Justin's bandanna was on the floor. So was AJ's right shoe. The sofa had been overturned. AJ and Justin fell across a coffee table as Nick and Jeff arrived on the scene.

"What the - - hey - - AJ - - Justin - - watch it - - AJ - - would you calm down? Stop it - - settle, settle!"

"Knock it the fuck off!" Nick shouted. With the combatants temporarily stunned, Nick and Jeff took advantage of the lull to separate them.

"What's going on?" Joey asked, running into the lounge. "Not again. Do we have to chain you to your bed? And you, you've done enough damage. Speaking as the only member of *NSYNC you haven't tried to destroy, leave us alone. Stick to your own kind."

"What kind is that?" AJ asked, pulling against Jeff's hold.

"Backstreet Boys. Lying, cheating, self-centered, no-talent, ugly as sin Backstreet Boys who would turn their back on anyone, anyone, if it suited you at that moment. You have no heart, no love, no soul, AJ, and neither do your so-called friends who'd sell you out in a second if they felt like it. You'd do the same to them. Your love and your loyalty exist for yourself."

AJ spat at him. "Go to Hell!"

Joey lunged. There was a period of violence, and the peacekeepers almost became warriors when Joey, aiming for AJ, hit Jeff, and Nick retaliated on Jeff's behalf. Justin broke free and dove for AJ, who was struggling with Joey, who was warding off Nick. Jeff managed to grab Nick and plunge into what was becoming a free-for-all. Controlling AJ and handing him off to Nick, Jeff said to Joey, "You, get out of here. I don't want to hear any more about the Backstreet Boys. No, go. Go. One more step, Fatone, one more word..." Joey left with a disgusted final glance. "Now, you. What's going on here?" Jeff asked Justin.

Before Justin could say anything, Lance tore into the room. "I can't believe you! Who do you think you are?!"

"I'm yours," AJ said. "I'm yours, and you're gone, and I have nothing left, but I still have my pride, I still have my pride! Your boy Justin goes crazy on me, I'm not standing here to take it."

"You're not mine," Lance said. "I don't own you. I don't want to own you. I want nothing to do with you!"

"I'm yours and you can't change that," AJ said.

"You betrayed everything we had. I can't forgive that. I can't get past it. I've tried, I love you, I want - - but how do I forgive and forget and start to trust you again? You cheated on me, you lied to me, you were with someone else and thought nothing of it."

"I didn't-"

"It's over."

"You love me."

"And you've done nothing to earn that."

"I've done everything to earn that! What the fuck is wrong with you?! I loved you and I cared for you and we were good together, we were so good together, we are good together. We're good for each other. And since when do I have to earn your love? I gave you my love and my respect for free, no terms, no conditions, no expectations. I'm your bitch. For the good and the bad. And you're my beautiful porn baby. Mine. I don't want to see you on someone else's arm. You meet my stride."

"You're not my bitch," Lance said. "You're nobody's. You're proud and strong and you'd never let yourself be tied to anyone."

"I'm whipped and tied," AJ said. "I'm yours. Did you change me or did I change myself through the grace of knowing you?"

"AJ, don't do this to me," Lance said. "You always give me too much credit and too much responsibility. I've never had any hold over you."

"Except through love."

"That's not a hold."

"It is."

"It is," Lance said. He touched the bruising on AJ's face. "I feel like I did this."

"You did," AJ said.

Lance pulled back his hand. "Let me...you...come on." He left the room, and AJ followed.

"Well," Jeff said.

"That was dramatic," Nick said.

"Can I go now?" Justin asked.

Drew was clinging to him. Clinging. On top of him and holding onto him and pressing a hot face against his neck.

Brian was caressing his cheek.

Nick turned his head to one side, resting his chin against Drew's hair. Brian's touch followed. "Drew?"

"I was afraid," Drew said. "I was afraid for you, Nick, you were so scared, and so hurt, and so angry. And I was afraid for us. Is it my fault? Don't I love you enough? Don't I show my love? And I was mad at Brian, for being there with you and not helping, because he was right there with you, he should be able to make you feel better but he wasn't. If I'd been there, this never would have happened. And that's so stupid... I was scared, Nick, I was scared for you and for us and for myself, what would I ever do without you?"

"Sshhh," Brian said, and came closer, half on top of Nick, stroking Drew. Nick wrapped his other arm around Brian, holding onto his lovers, their warm, naked bodies, their love. They were sort of heavy. In a good way.

Whoa! Ouch! Hey! Drew packed a big punch for such a little guy. "Don't you ever say you're leaving us again! Don't you ever walk away from us! And don't you ever try to make me choose! Don't you ever - - you're Brian's Nick and you always have been and you can't leave him, you belong with him, you belong together. And I'm your Drew, don't you ever walk away from me again! I'm yours and I always will be and I have never had to choose between you and I never will choose and I love you, I love you and you love me and-"

Nick rolled over, on top of his Drew, squeezing Drew, closing his eyes. "I didn't mean to hurt you."

"Yes, you did," Drew said. "You wanted to hurt us before we could hurt you. But we weren't going to hurt you, Nick, we don't want to hurt you."

"Don't choose. Don't ever ever ever ever ever fucking choose."

"I won't," Drew said. "Nick, I can't."

"Drew."

"Nick, I love you."

"Drew." He squeezed out all of the pain and squeezed in all of the love. Oh, no, he'd squeezed too hard, he was squeezing out tears. Drew was crying. Drew never cried. Appalled, Nick raised his head and looked. Drew tears. No, no, "No, don't cry, Drew, stop that." He tried to wipe them away, but Drew made a few more. "Drew, no, no, Drew, no, don't, oh, Brian, do something." He cuddled his Drew close and rubbed his cheek against Drew's hair. "Stop crying, Drew. You can't cry. You should be happy. We're here, you and me and Brian, all three of us, right here. And Nick and Jeff were here, and that was good, that was sort of fun. Did you like that? Was it good? You got to be with Nick and Jeff. And now we're here, the three of us, and I thought, maybe, we could have sex. Just the three of us. If you want to. We haven't done that in a long time. I miss it. Do you miss that, Drew? Do you want to have sex with me and Brian?"

Drew sniffed and wiped his tears on Nick's shoulder and cosied up to Nick.

"No more crying."

Drew sniffed. "Okay."

"Men don't cry."

"I'm a man! Men are allowed to cry."

"Drew's a girl. Don't hit me!"

"How can I be a girl? Brian's the one with the..."

"With the what?"

Drew pulled Nick closer and whispered in his ear, "Cunt."

Whooping with laughter, Nick squeezed Drew. "Let's look!" He climbed off of Drew and grabbed Brian. "Lay down like a good little girl and let us examine you." He pushed Brian down and spread Brian's thighs. "Drew, look."

Drew looked over Nick's shoulder. "I see."

Brian tried to kick Nick.

"He has a penis."

"I see."

Brian tried to kick Drew.

"And balls."

"I see."

"Here's his paramecium."

"Perineum."

"I think he's a boy."

"I think so."

"What about you? Do you have boy parts?"

"I have man parts," Drew said.

Brian kicked Drew.

"Show me your man parts."

"Show you?" Drew asked.

"Show me," Nick agreed.

"Stop leering at me," Drew said. "I don't have to show you anything. They're right here."

"Where?"

"Right there!"

"You have to show me."

"Show you what?"

"Your man parts."

"You show me yours."

"What? Brian, what did he just say?"

"Drew wants you to show him what you have to show."

"Drew doesn't say things like that."

"He just did."

"You're a bad influence on him."

"I'm a bad influence? I don't talk like that."

"You were the one going on and on about...about..."

"What?" Brian's fingers fixed Nick's hair.

"You're grooming me."

"Nick?"

"I need to have an emotional breakdown now."

"Okay." Brian squeezed him close. "Go ahead."

"Don't let go."

"I love you."

"Don't make me cry."

"I'm sorry, Nick."

"I'm sorry, Brian."

"I love you. I want you to know that I love you. I want you to feel how much I love you."

"You liked me before? You wanted me?"

"Nick, I've always wanted you. Not when you were thirteen. And I have always liked you, ever since we met. I've loved you ever since we met. More every day. You don't realize how beautiful you are."

"I was that pretty boy."

"You still are that pretty boy," Brian said. "You are that pretty boy. And you've grown into a beautiful man."

"I'm beautiful and you love me."

"Yes, Nick. You're beautiful and I love you." Brian's hand soothed the back of his neck. "Do you want Drew?"

"I'm not finished with you yet."

"All right."

"You should love me forever."

"I will love you forever, Nick. And you'll love me forever."

"How do you know these things? Why are you always so sure?"

"I know you, Nick. And you know me, too. You just don't know yourself."

"I don't know myself?"

"You don't love yourself. And no matter how hard I try, no matter how deep my love, I can't love you enough to make up for you not loving you."

Love thy neighbor as thyself. But he didn't love himself. So he didn't love his neighbors? Or even the people he lived with? He didn't love Brian and Drew? He loved Brian and Drew! But he didn't love himself. And he knew that he didn't love himself. He didn't even know how to love himself. Or...or why, really.

"And I love you so much," Brian said. "If you knew how much I love you, Nick..."

He was going to cry now.

"Drew loves you, too. Do you know how much Drew loves you?"

"As much as he loves you."

"That's a lot of love. And there's a lot of love in you, too, Nick. So much love, and you keep giving it away. Save some for yourself. You deserve it."

Brian was making him cry. He reached blindly and hauled Drew closer, then turned and wrapped his arms around Drew, getting his tears on Drew's shoulder. Drew made soft, hurt noises and held him. Brian was stroking his skin. He was crying on Drew.

"I love you, Nick," Drew said. "I love you. Brian loves you. Nick loves you. Jeff loves you."

"Nick is a big stupid ugly," he muttered.

"No, Nick." Drew lifted his chin with one hand and made him look into dark hazel eyes. "Nick is a beautiful person."

Nick was a beautiful person.

Oh.

"Beautiful," Drew repeated, and his voice was strong. He was being very firm. Firm Drew was very sexy. He also made Nick want to cry some more. So Nick went back to Brian.

Brian held him and caressed him and whispered pretty things. He rested against Brian, and Drew petted him from the other side, and then he pulled Drew in for a nice cuddle. Brian kissed him.

"Maybe you could make love to me now," he said, a little more hesitantly than usual.

"All right," Brian said.

"Oh fuck."

"What?" Drew asked, startled.

"Nick fucked me."

Drew turned red. Brian smiled and said, "Yes, he did."

"Hot damn! Your big brother fucked me! And you, you, Brian, bad bad Brian, you fucked Nick."

"But he was good," Brian whispered, and kissed Drew.

"Pervert," Nick accused.

"You know it," Brian agreed, and started twinkling.

AJ's rings were scattered over the bathroom counter. While AJ cleaned the cuts on his hands, Lance lifted a silver ring. "You're angry with yourself. Don't attack my friends to prove your lack of good judgment." Lance picked up another ring.

"I have great judgment," AJ said. "I picked you."

"Picked me?" Lance asked.

"Picked you," AJ repeated, and looked Lance straight in the eyes. "I chose you, only you, out of an entire world full of people." AJ's bruised hand cupped Lance's cheek. "My blond bombshell. My beautiful porn baby. My partner. The one I want beside me for life. The one-"

"The one you cheated on, lied to-"

"The one I-"

"The one you-"

"The one I love! You're the keeper of my heart, remember?"

"And you're my bitch," Lance said.

"And you're my lover. My boyfriend. Mine. You are mine. No conditions. No limitations."

"You can't own me."

"We belong to each other. We belong together."

"We never see each other!"

"We defied sleep, schedules, and time zones to spend hours talking."

"We have nothing in common!"

"Fuck that."

"Why should I go through it all again? Never seeing you, rearranging my already chaotic schedule to talk with you, missing you, having no sex life whatsoever - - and for what?"

"For me."

"You're out doing the Backstreet thing!"

"His name is Howie."

"That isn't funny."

"Yes, it is."

"Fuck you."

"You can."

"I don't want to."

"What do you want?"

"To trust you. But I can't do that."

"I'm sorry, damn it!"

"Then act like it! You hang around with Howie like, damn it, AJ, like you're still with him!"

"He's my best friend!"

"Joey's my best friend and you don't see me in bed with him!"

"What about Chris? Justin? JC?"

"What about them? We're friends, brothers, but we're not doing each other! We're in committed relationships and we respect that! I don't want them, I want you!"

"You want me."

"You know I do. Stop it, AJ."

"Stop what?"

"Looking at me like that! You look at me and I know you think you've won. You can't win. There's nothing to win."

"Except you."

"You won me and you lost me and I am not going back."

"You never left me."

"You left me."

"You're wearing my ring."

"What?"

"You put my ring on your finger."

"AJ - - it doesn't mean anything."

"Don't take it off."

"AJ-"

AJ's hand closed over his. AJ's eyes were dark with pain and promise. "Don't take it off."

He couldn't write without Justin. He didn't have to have Justin at his side every second, but when he wrote, he needed Justin within sight. Within hearing distance. He needed to know where Justin was so he could get up, reach out, and touch...

That gorgeous angel. That miracle. Deep blue eyes and smooth grace and happy smile and fluid hips.

Justin was his inspiration. To write, to live, to breathe.

Justin had gone to see Chris. Maybe if he could track down-

Joey was shouting obscenities. What in the - - JC hurried around the corner, worried. It wasn't like Joey to lose it like that. What was - - oh. Chris and Howie. Or the fact that Chris was with Howie. Or the fact that Howie was alive and within a hundred miles of Chris.

Howie started shouting back. Whoa, Backstreet Boys were vicious. If they were that creative with the English language, why didn't they have better lyrics?

Chris was ignoring the yelling, standing behind Howie, rubbing his left hand over Howie's left hipbone. It wasn't his fight. He'd made his decision and he didn't care what anyone had to say about it.

JC hated Chris. He'd loved Chris, trusted Chris, and then seen Chris shatter Justin. He hated Chris for that destruction and that betrayal. But he understood Chris's devotion to Howie, maybe better than anyone else could. He had to respect that kind of love, as a shade of his own love for Justin.

So he grabbed Joey, stepped in the middle of the yelling, and said, "Chris, have you seen Justin?"

"You mean your husband? The one his lover was just using as a punching bag?" Joey demanded.

"Justin's fighting with AJ again?" Chris asked, surprised, worried.

"He is not my lover!" Howie shouted.

"You'd have to be capable of love to have one of those!" Joey shot back. "Love for someone besides yourself, that is!"

"I love Chris!"

"So do I, and that's why I don't want to see him spending any time on your sorry skinny-"

"Tell me where Justin is," JC said, and everyone fell quiet. He did not have the time to waste listening to this tripe. He needed to find Justin and make sure that Justin was all right.

In the new silence, JC heard beatboxing.

"Found him," Chris said. "Justin! You okay?"

"Chris!" Justin's voice called back. "Hey, man, you gotta fix me up before JC sees what-" Justin rounded the corner. "Oh. Hi, JC. Uh...hi, guys. Um, Chris? I thought you hated Howie."

"I do."

"Okay." Justin looked perplexed. "JC, JC, don't freak. I got into it with AJ. Joey, thanks for showing up. Sounds like you have your own issues with the guy."

"Do I ever," Joey said, and glowered at Howie.

"JC, I'm fine. I'm fine! I just have to clean up a little. Don't, don't, JC! Listen, can you guys excuse us? I have to do some damage control." Justin captured JC's hands and led the way to their room. Once inside, he locked the door and went into the bathroom. "JC, listen to me. I'm an adult. I can mess up my own life if I want to. I got into it with AJ, and that was brainless, but I saw him and I remembered how he hurt you and I couldn't keep it down. I had to show him he couldn't go near you like that. We fought, and Nick and Jeff broke it up, and then Joey came in and started it up again, and then they broke it up again, and then Lance came in, and I don't know what that was about, and he left with AJ. I think we've finally found people crazier than we are." He looked in the mirror, then at JC. "Nah."

"Where are you hurt, baby? What did he do to you? Let me-"

"Hands to yourself for a second, JC. Hands to yourself. Never mind, I'll work around you." Justin started to undress. "Let's make a deal."

"Oh, baby."

"JC, I'm trying to talk to you. It would help if you'd pretend to listen. I can't believe I'm ass naked and you haven't even looked. You don't want me anymore, do you?"

"Your beautiful face."

"Talking to a brick wall. JC! We're making deals here. Door number one or door number two? Either we have sex right now, or you go after AJ. Either or."

"Look at what he's done to you."

"What kind of guy are you if I can't distract you with sex? JC, look down. Down." He put his hand on the top of JC's head and pushed. "See that? Naked me. You know what to do with it."

"Oh, baby."

"What now? JC, it's just a scratch."

"Your beautiful skin."

"Your one-track mind is on the wrong track."

"Does that hurt, Justin?"

"You know what, JC? It sort of does. I wish it felt better. Maybe you know how to make me feel good. Do you want to make me feel good?"

"Are you hurt, baby?"

"Show me how to feel good, JC."

"Justin."

"Oh, yes, JC..."

Brian kissed the slow arch of Drew's spine. He'd wanted to make love with Drew, wanted, longed, dreamt. And now, now he could.

And Nick. He'd missed Nick.

"Make love to me," Drew said against Nick's hip. He didn't say whether he meant Nick or Brian. It didn't matter. They were making love together, the three of them, the way it was meant to be.

"What do you want from me?"

"You know what I want," AJ said. "Word for word."

"How can I be with you and trust you and go to bed with you and still respect myself?"

"How can you walk away from me?" AJ asked.

"I love you. That isn't enough. I don't trust you. I don't even like you."

"I slept with Howie. I'm sorry that I did that, it was wrong, it was stupid, I shouldn't have done it. What do you want? I can't go back and do it all over again and not sleep with him. I can't leave the Backstreet Boys."

"I don't want you to leave the Backstreet Boys," Lance said, surprised. "I want you to prove to me that you're in this for real, for good."

"I am."

"Act like it."

"Keep my ring. You don't have to wear it on that finger. You don't have to wear it at all. Keep my ring."

"As a symbol of what?"

"Me. I'll always be with you. You have my heart. My soul. My ring." He watched Lance. "What?"

"You don't...want something of mine?" Lance asked, not wanting to say it.

"You're always with me," AJ said. "I know that." He had the proof of it tattooed on his thigh. Lance didn't know that. And if this week ended, and they didn't make love, Lance might not see it for a while. He refused to think about the fact that Lance might never see it.

Lance turned away from him. He waited. Lance faced him again. "Can we have sex, right now, as two people who want each other, without it having to mean anything?"

"Yes."

Justin kissed down the curve of JC's ass, licking smooth skin. JC was half-asleep, murmuring his name between sighs of satisfied pleasure. He licked over the tattoo. Tasted the torn, bruised heart inscribed with the word "Timberlake." Licked down the damning drops of blood. Kissed the cupped hands that caught the blood, kissed the word written across the wrists: "Chasez."

Someone was knocking on the door.

"Fuck off!" AJ shouted, getting a hand down Lance's open pants, kissing Lance's mouth again.

"AJ, it's Howie."

"Fuck," AJ said.

Lance pulled away from him.

"Damn it," AJ said, and yanked Lance back again. "Not now, D!"

"Are-"

"Howie! Not now!"

Lance ran his hand over his mouth. "You don't want to talk to him?"

"I'm busy," AJ said, and kissed Lance's lips wet again.

Drew rested his head on Nick's chest. Rested his hand on Nick's stomach. "Brian. Tell me about Nick again."

"Again?" Brian ran his fingers down Drew's thigh. "Do you want a new story?"

"There are more?"

"I have a lot of stories about Nick. Like the night he got hard onstage. He got embarrassed, because there he was in front of everybody and he was hard and they could see it. But he couldn't stop. I saw it, and I knew he was embarrassed, but I couldn't do anything about it. Then we had a quick-change, and he disappeared, and we were out of time, and I found him trying to rub himself off, desperate and embarrassed. There was no time, he was going to have to go back out there, harder than ever."

"He didn't."

"No, he didn't. I sucked him off."

"You what?"

"I didn't want him to come on his clothes. Or on mine."

"Did anybody see you?"

"I hope not."

"Brian!"

"It's not the only time he's been hard onstage. But it was the most interesting."

"I can't believe you."

"It happens."

"Nick used to get hard onstage. My brother."

"Really?"

"Do you have to sound that eager and interested?"

Brian didn't have the grace to blush.

"Yes, he used to get hard onstage."

"Not anymore?" Brian asked softly.

"Being onstage isn't the same anymore," Drew said.

Nick buried his nose in Drew's hair.

"He used to get hard," Brian murmured. "You could see it?"

"I could. It wasn't a full, you know, it was... He'd be turned on."

"Did you touch it?"

"Once."

"Really?"

"Why do I talk to you?"

"You touched it?"

"Through his pants. Breathe slower, Brian. Yes, I touched it. He was wearing black leather. He was hard, and we went offstage, and it was after, after... After that first time when... And he was trying to hide it, but we knew, and Justin left, and Jeff... Jeff... Jeff said, 'I'm exhausted, you take this one.' And I put..."

"Drew."

"I touched it through his pants. I got scared and I stopped, I couldn't... But I touched him. It was hard."

"You never told us."

"I couldn't tell you that."

"You can tell us anything."

"It's not easy to tell."

"It's all right to love him."

"I have the weirdest love life."

"You have a very full love life."

"No kidding."

"I love you."

"Oh, Brian, I love you, too. I've missed you."

"Mmm."

Nick watched them kiss.

"Tell me how you got my brother to zone like that. He was gone, and you weren't even doing anything."

"It's a gift."

"Can you do it to Jeff?"

"You want me to?"

"Yes."

"All right."

"You can zone Jeff?"

"Sure."

"I wonder what that's like."

"Ask your brother."

"We don't talk about that."

"You don't talk about what?"

"Sex. His sex life. I'm not supposed to know that he has one."

"What? Drew, you are his sex life. Part of it. And he's married. To Jeff."

"I'm his little brother and I'm not supposed to know that he has sex."

"You're his little brother and he's having sex with you!"

"Do you have to put it like that?"

"Don't be ashamed."

"I'm sick."

"Drew, you're not sick. You're healthy."

"We did it in the shower."

"I know."

"A lot."

"I know."

"And on the bathroom sink."

"I know."

"And on the bathroom floor."

"And against the door."

"Yeah, that, too. You were listening?"

"You two make the sexiest noises."

"You should have come in to watch," Drew muttered.

"Nick wanted to. We wouldn't let him."

"You made love to my brother last night."

"Yes."

"Did you like it?"

"He's incredible."

"Nick's right. Their sex life should be an epic miniseries."

"What would they call it?"

"The Timmons-Lacheys: Titans of Cum."

"Drew!"

"What would you call it?"

"Not that. Nick and Jeff: Masters of Love."

"That sounds like an S&M movie."

"You're the one who likes to be tied up."

"That was one time!"

"And you're the one who wanted to tie up Nick."

"One time! You're incorrigible today."

"I'm in a good mood."

"I wonder why."

"I wonder."

Nick watched them kiss some more.

Drew snuggled down again, resting on Nick.

Brian crawled closer and looked at Nick, gazing into his eyes, smoothing back his hair.

"I love you," Drew murmured. He yawned.

"I love you," Brian said.

Nick watched Brian and held Drew close.

Drew slept.

Nick slept.

Brian prayed.

Just sex. Just sex. He hadn't had sex since the Backstreet Boys had launched their tour, and he wanted sex, and it was just sex, two people, two bodies, getting off together. It didn't mean anything. He loved AJ, but he could keep that separate. This wasn't about love. It wasn't about them. It was sex.

Explosive, heart-wrenching, hot hard fast fucking sex. The kind that made his muscles hurt and his skin bruise and his throat burn. The kind that left him exhausted, boneless, drenched in sweat and draped with AJ's naked body.

He dreamt of love.

Nick breathed, lifted, held, released. Slow, steady.

He licked sweat from his upper lip and grunted.

Thought about Drew.

Thought about Brian.

Thought about Nick.

"You'd better stop before you hurt something," Jeff said.

No kidding. He eased down the weights and flexed, rising. Since no one was in the room, he spent one second cupping Jeff's ass through gym shorts.

Jeff swatted away his hand, smiling. "Haven't you had enough of that?"

He ran his hand through his hair. "I need a shower."

"I think you've had enough of that, too. How long were you two in that bathroom?"

"We, uh," he licked his lips, "we had some things to talk about."

"Mmm," Jeff said. "Nick."

"What?"

"We could hear you."

"What?"

"We could hear you. In the bathroom."

He felt himself turning red. He had no idea what to say. He left.

Jeff smiled and followed.

Nick was heavy. Almost heavier than usual. Maybe because Drew was asleep on Nick's back.

How was he supposed to breathe?

Nick was drooling on his shoulder.

Brian sighed. Then he couldn't inhale. So he pushed.

"Wha-"

"Hey!"

Much better. He stretched, and tugged over a piece of sheet to wipe off his shoulder.

Nick and Drew were blinking with confusion and looking injured. "Good morning."

"It's the middle of the night," Drew said.

"It's not that late," Nick said.

"It's not morning," Drew said.

"Order me food."

"Brian, order us food," Nick said.

"He's going back to sleep," Drew observed.

"Brian, wake up and get us food."

"Let him sleep."

"Brian, wake up and play with us."

"What do you want to play?" Drew asked.

"Guess."

"Maybe we should eat first."

"You're no fun. Okay, but eat fast."

"Let's eat in the dining room."

"No. Why?"

"So we can ask someone to come in and change our sheets while we're gone."

"Oh. Yeah. Okay. Brian, wake up."

"I'm awake."

"Open your eyes."

"Kiss me and I'll think about it."

"Kiss kiss kiss. There. Are you thinking?"

"I'm thinking."

"About what?"

"You taste like Drew."

"Look, Drew, I made Brian horny."

"How is that possible? Do you know how many times he's come within the-"

"But look, he's horny. See that? He wants some."

"Oh. Brian."

"Not you, too! No, you get off of the bed. Go clean up and get dressed. Go! Drew, out! Out! Thank you. Brian, Brian, stop being horny. We're going to get food now. We can get you off later. Brian?"

"Nick," Brian whispered, and kissed him.

matthew@matthewtime.com
"Together" Part Fourteen
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