Copyright April 4th, 2001 by Matthew Haldeman-Time

Rating: PG-13?

Pairing (so to speak): Nick Carter/Drew Lachey/Brian Littrell

Disclaimer: The young men who comprise 98 Degrees and the Backstreet Boys are their own people.  The author has not met anyone here described, nor does the author mean to suggest that these people act this way in real life.  This writing is a work of fiction.  I make no money from this venture.

Dedication: This slashfic is for Ewan McGregor, the Savage Garden slashers, and Diamond.

Wherein Drew kisses, Nick squeezes, and Brian cops a feel.

Notice: Diamond suggested a third rule.

        "We need a new rule."

        "Make love to Brian more often," Drew said, and kissed Brian again, not bothering to open his eyes.

        "Stop doing that and listen to me," Nick said.

        "Listening," Drew said.  "Are you listening?" he asked, and sucked Brian's earlobe into his mouth.

        Brian kissed Drew again and looked over Drew's shoulder at Nick, massaging the small of Drew's back with one hand.  "What's wrong?"

        Nick scowled, attempting his "nothing's wrong" face, and hauled himself up to sit on the kitchen table.

        "What's the third rule?" Drew asked, turning to face Nick.  Brian's hand slid over Drew's abdomen now, feeling well-defined musculature and puckered scarring.  Navel.  Pelvis.  Nipple.  Drew slapped his hand and he returned to navel.

        "We know the first rule," Nick said.  He looked tense, so Brian didn't say anything when he pulled one naked foot onto the table, knee to chest.  He examined his toes.

        "Don't joke about Brian's health," Brian prompted in a gentle voice.

        "And we know the second rule."

        "I like the second rule," Drew said.  "I was trying to follow it."

        "Horny Drew," Nick said, but his heart wasn't in it.  The usual tone of teasing admiration lacked spirit.

        "What's the third rule?" Brian asked.

        "I don't know, but he's my Drew and I want him safe and happy."

        "I am safe and happy," Drew said.

        "Things happen," Nick told his kneecap.

        "To anyone," Drew said.  "At any time.  We can't make rules and promises on that, Nick."

        "You can so."

        Brian and Drew walked over to him together.  Brian smoothed his hair, and Drew stroked the top of his foot.  "I'm okay," Drew said.

        "You're not.  I know you're not.  You still get scared before you go onstage."

        "Who told you that?"

        "Somebody."

        Drew sighed.  "I wish he hadn't told you.  Yes, sometimes.  I get nervous."

        "Scared.  You get scared.  He said-"

        "I get scared," Drew admitted.  "But I'm still out there, and I still do my job.  I still love my job, Nick.  And I love you.  And you love me enough not to try to stop me from doing my job."

        "Stop you?" Nick asked.  "No, you're in 98 Degrees.  I don't want to change that."

        "Thank you."

        "But you...you aren't safe."

        "Neither are you."

        "And Brian."

        "Do you worry about him?"

        "Yeah."

        "I do, too, sometimes.  But I trust him to keep himself safe.  And I trust the people around him to keep him safe.  There are people who are hired and paid to do that, people whose only job is to keep Brian safe.  That makes me feel better.  They're looking out for him."

        "He has God, too."

        "Yes."

        "That should help."

        "Brian can't promise us that he'll live to be one hundred, that he'll never be hurt, that he'll always be safe.  He won't make us a promise he can't keep."

        "I know."

        "And we can't make a rule that he has to be safe."

        "We should."

        "We can promise to take care of ourselves.  We can promise to look out for each other.  We can promise that we'll be strong for each other if anything does happen."

        "Nothing's going to happen."

        "If it does."

        "It won't."

        "But I know that if anything ever happens to you, that Brian will be strong for me."

        "Yeah."

        "And I hope that I could be strong for him."

        "I bet you would be."

        "We can't make rules for these things.  We can't make rules that we'll live forever.  We can't make rules that we won't get scared for each other.  I get scared.  For me.  For all of us."

        "I don't want you to be scared."  Nick finally met Drew's eyes, and touched Drew's face.  "Don't be scared, Drew.  It's okay."

        "I think about you a lot."  Drew's fingers brushed past Nick's temple, through his hair.  "How beautiful and strong you are."  His thumb rubbed along Nick's jaw.  "That makes me stronger."

        "You're a very strong Drew."

        Drew took Nick's hand.  When Nick caught Drew's intention, he resisted, but Drew made him touch scarring.  Nick turned his head away a little, and Brian cupped his nape for support.  "I know that you don't like these, Nick.  But they're mine.  Sometimes I hate them, I hate them, I try to wash them off or wish them away.  But sometimes, Nick, sometimes I like them, I want them here, they mean something to me.  They say that nothing can make me leave you.  Nothing can take me from you.  They can hurt us, they can try to destroy us, but they can't, Nick.  They can't succeed.  It can't be done.  Nothing can separate us.  And I want you to know, that if I had died - - Nick, listen to me," he insisted, taking Nick's face in his hands.  "Nick.  If I had died, if I do die, I want you to know how much I love you.  I want you to know how much you mean to me.  I want you to know that I am grateful for every second we've had together.  I love you every day, every second, all of the time.  You and Brian.  You changed my life, Nick, you helped me to become who I am today, you've helped me to become me.  Thank you.  I love you.  I always will.  Nothing changes that."

        With one hand on the back of Nick's neck, Brian rested his forehead against Nick's temple and listened to Nick attempt wet, futile, tear-restraining sniffs.  "Nick."

        "Brian," Nick said, and sniffed again.

        "Rule number three.  Believe everything Drew just said to you."

        "Squeeze me," Drew said.  "Squeeze me.  Nick, squeeze me.  More.  You feel me?  I'm right here and I'm alive and you can never squeeze me hard enough to squeeze out the love.  And Brian loves you just as much as I do.  I'd say he loves you even more, except nobody can love you more than I do, Nick."

        Brian let his hand slide up into silken hair.  His voice soft with emotion, he said, "You know how much I love you, Nick."

        "Brian," Nick said.  "My Drew."

        "Your Drew," Drew agreed, still wrapped in Nick's tight embrace.  "Always."

        "We can't...  We can't...  Things happen.  But love always."

        "Love always," Drew said.

        "Love," Brian said.  "Always."