"The Only Way"

The Only Way, a "Slice of Life"

Rating: PG-13

Pairings: JC Chasez/Justin Timberlake, Nick Carter/Brian Littrell/Drew Lachey

Disclaimer: The young men who comprise the Backstreet Boys and *NSYNC are their own people. The author has not met anyone here described, nor does the author mean to suggest that these people act this way in real life. This writing is a work of fiction. I make no money from this venture.

Wherein Nick visits JC, JC talks to Nick, and they're both quite kickass.

Notice: Hmm. Post-"Destiny."

Nick sucked ketchup from his finger. "I don't know. Once you've been kicked in the balls the first time, who wants to go back?"

"If it's something you want, go back for it," JC said.

"If Justin kicked you in the balls, you'd go back. If it made him happy to do it, you'd probably let him do it again. You'd even ask for it if you thought that's what he wanted."

"We're not talking about me, and Justin would never do that to me."

"He has. What, I'm just saying. Okay, I'll shut up about your precious boyfriend."

"Husband."

"Whatever. Look. I tried the whole comic book thing before, and it didn't work."

"That was a Backstreet Boys comic book. I'm talking about something that's yours. A comic book series that you create about whatever you want. You can do it under a different name."

"Under a different name? People are only going to buy it in the first place because I'm doing it. If it isn't even under my name, who's going to want it? JC, you've seen the stuff I draw."

"It's good."

"It's good if you're being nice to me. If you're being honest with me, it's decent. Decent doesn't sell. You know mediocre doesn't get far. If you want to make it, you have to be kickass. As a Backstreet Boy, I'm kickass. As a comic book artist, I'm not kickass."

"You could be, though," JC said.

"We're supposed to eat, watch a movie, and split. We got the eating part down, but it's been three hours and not one movie has even hit the VCR," Nick said. "Do I need to call home and tell them not to expect me tonight?"

"I'm trying to talk to you," JC said.

So Nick went right back to their conversation. "You're very kickass," Nick said. "Not as kickass as AJ, but close."

"Justin's kickass," JC said.

"Yeah, but he knows it, so that makes it less kickass. I don't know why he gets more spotlight time than you do. You'd be the shiny big star of *NSYNC if you wanted to be. But I guess overshadowing Justin isn't your thing. Lucky for him."

"Justin deserves all of his fame," JC said. "He's worked hard to deserve it."

Someone was at the door, trying to get in. "You said you were kicking it solo today."

"I was," JC said.

The door opened and Justin walked in, fairly drenched. "Lake," Nick said.

"Cart," Justin said.

Nick gave Justin an "I'm so impressed" rude sneer.

Justin gave Nick one right back. Then he had to stop, because JC was up off of the couch and standing right beside him, touching him. He looked at JC. "It's rain."

"Are you all right, baby?" JC asked, still touching. "You'd better take off your clothes and dry off. Put on something warm."

"That's the plan," Justin agreed.

JC's fingers found the wetness on Justin's cheek.

Justin's lips parted.

JC stroked Justin's wet hair.

Justin kept his eyes on JC, kept looking, because JC was looking at him and it was impossible to look away. But at the same time, he pushed into JC's touch, enjoying the feel of it, wanting more.

JC's hand ran down over wet denim.

"Okay, okay, look, you're not Drew and Brian, I don't want to watch," Nick said.

JC gazed into Justin's eyes. His hand was on Justin's forearm, rubbing over slick skin.

"Timberlake!" Nick said.

Justin jerked back. Right, right. He stepped away from JC. "I'll be right back. I just have to go take...off...my...clothes." Oh, damn. When the need hit JC's eyes like that, it went right through Justin's body and just...stayed. Stayed right there, simmering, growing, until JC satisfied them both.

Nick sighed, dropping his head back onto the couch.

Justin broke free and went to the bedroom.

Nick didn't bother to look. "Go ahead. I'll wait."

JC was quick. The bedroom door closed.

Nick sighed. He might as well watch a movie.

Scary movie. Frightening. Nick scrounged in the kitchen for food, watched the movie, and ignored the sounds from the bedroom. JC was pretty much making regular sex noises, the kind guys made when they were fucking really, really good and really, really hard, like he was one thrust away from the ultimate orgasm. Sometimes Nick could hear his voice, but none of the words. Justin was loud. Begging and screaming and moaning. Nick could hear what Justin was saying, and some of it was kind of revealing.

Nick wondered which one of them he'd like to screw more. If JC could make Justin do that every time, and Nick knew that he could, then JC had to be incredible. Given. But if Justin responded like that, still responded like that even after a few years, then Justin had to be a hugely rewarding lay.

Enh. Nick had Drew and Brian waiting for him at home. JC and Justin could keep each other.

He knew JC and Justin didn't always fuck for this long. Maybe the rain had JC extra horny? Who knew. They'd been quiet for a good minute, though. Maybe it was over. If they started up again, he was going home.

He should probably be flattered, or something. He knew they wouldn't do this stuff right in front of him if they didn't trust him. It wasn't like he was in *NSYNC, or anything, but he was probably the next best thing.

He was the next best thing to *NSYNC in this one very specific area, from JC and Justin's viewpoint. In every other realm of the universe, he was better than *NSYNC. For the record.

The bedroom door opened and closed. Justin came out into the living room.

Nick tried very hard not to say anything rude or smart-assed. He was very cool with JC, and he knew how JC felt about Justin, so he'd respect that whole thing. No matter how badly he wanted to say something he shouldn't.

JC went into the bathroom.

Justin looked kind of wrecked. Like he'd been thoroughly used. Nick had the feeling that he looked like that after sex, too. He'd have to ask Brian.

Justin sat beside Nick on the couch and stole some of Nick's food. That was fair, since Nick was eating JC and Justin's food in the first place. He looked at the screen, not really paying it much conscious attention.

Then Justin sat up straight and choked on his food. "What is this?"

"Porn," Nick said.

Justin stared at the screen. Then he looked around, noticing the videotape boxes on the coffee table. "What are you watching?"

"Porn," Nick said. Justin was kind of stupid today. "I borrowed some from AJ so JC and I could watch it."

"Why are you watching porn? Why are you watching porn in my home with my JC? And why - - it's straight porn! You're gay! JC's gay!"

"I know I'm gay, genius," Nick said. "And I know JC's gay, too. That might be why he just screwed you."

Justin got embarrassed.

"If you don't want people to know about your sex life, don't do the nasty in front of them."

"I'm saying, you're gay," Justin said. "You're not even bi. Why are you watching straight porn?"

"To see if we like it."

"You've been with girls. You know if you like it. And turn that off," Justin said, pushing "stop" and "eject" and "power" as quickly as he could. "Jesus, Carter."

"You don't like straight porn?" Nick asked.

"No," Justin said.

"Lying's fun, isn't it?" Nick asked.

"What? No!"

"You're bi. You like women. You like sex with women. Tell me when I start to go wrong, here."

"I'm with JC."

"So suddenly half of your libido shuts down?"

"Yes."

"Wow, lying must be lots of fun."

Justin scratched his knee. "I'll tell you the truth if you tell me the truth."

"Uh...nope."

"Carter, come on."

"Yeah, no."

"Nick. You-"

JC went from the bathroom to the bedroom.

"He's going to be out here any second," Justin said. "Tell me fast."

"You tell me fast," Nick said.

"I don't even know what you want to know."

"Tell me-"

JC came out of the bedroom.

Nick and Justin smiled.

"Hey, what's going on?" JC asked.

"So when are you guys going to move?" Nick asked. "You're big famous pop stars living in an expensive shithole."

"This isn't a shithole," Justin said.

"The stove is an ancient deathtrap, the disposal eats body parts, the tub leaks, there's no hot water, the bedroom door doesn't lock-"

"I don't want to move," Justin said.

"I know that you've been here since you got together, and you have a lot of good memories, most of them about sex. But this place was supposed to be temporary. You should have a big grand place that gets featured on 'Entertainment Tonight.'"

"You don't."

"I live with Cheap and Cheaper," Nick said. "If one of you would tell the other one you want to move into a nicer place - - either one of you, it doesn't matter - - you'd be living in a huge mansion within a week."

"I don't want to move," Justin said.

"You'd have more room for your clothes," Nick said.

Justin wavered.

"And for your shoes."

Justin turned to JC. "We could look..."

Nick and Justin never got to have their conversation. They never got to tell each other the truth.

Nick never got to tell Justin why he and JC had really borrowed AJ's flicks. Nick was with Brian. JC was with Justin. Brian and Justin were bi. Was there something that Brian and Justin wanted, something that they needed, that Nick and JC couldn't give them? Something that Nick and JC weren't able to supply? Nick and JC were lost in a futile effort to divine some knowledge, some secret, that would let them give their lovers things they didn't even have to give.

Justin never got to tell Nick why he'd said he didn't like straight porn. He was with JC. He was in love with JC. He'd committed himself to JC. Yes, he was bisexual so yes, he was attracted to women. He was attracted to men, too, but all he really wanted was JC. All he'd ever really need was in JC, was with JC. It was like walking into an ice cream store and seeing all of the flavors. Standard chocolate, basic vanilla. And then twists on chocolate, like chocolate fudge, chocolate peanut butter cup, rocky road. French vanilla, vanilla with pecans, vanilla with peanut butter. Everything so different; everything so good; everything something you wanted. So you stood there, trying to decide, maybe sampling a few flavors. And then you found the one that you really wanted. And yes, if you'd chosen one of the others, you would have had a good time. But the one, this one, the one you wanted, the one you picked over all others... Once you found that one, you knew.

Justin didn't secretly lust after women. Justin didn't hide from women and avoid them to convince himself that he was happy without them. He just didn't really worry about them anymore, the same way he didn't spend time thinking about other guys. He had JC, and that was enough to keep him happy and interested for the rest of his life.

It wasn't any deeper than that. Justin had looked around, seen what the world had to offer him, checked out the contestants, and said, "I'll take that one." And he hadn't looked back since.

Brian and Justin would always be happy with Nick and JC. They'd always thank God for the choices they'd made and the blessings they'd been given that had allowed them to have what they had with Nick and JC.

Nick and JC would always wonder. Try harder. Give more.

No one could say that Nick didn't love Brian enough. No one could ever say that JC had low self-esteem. And Brian and Justin couldn't be held responsible.

But if JC put Justin on a pedestal, through the nature of JC's love, Justin would be there forever. And if Nick loved Brian more than he loved himself, he'd always put Brian first.

JC loved Justin so much that he'd always want everything to be perfect for Justin. That meant that he had to be better for Justin, too.

Nick loved Brian so much that there was nothing he wouldn't do for Brian. But he'd always worry that he wasn't doing enough.

Maybe there was no way for Justin to convince JC that just being JC made him perfect enough already. That there were perfections in imperfection.

Maybe Brian would never be able to make Nick believe that he didn't want Nick to do anything besides just be Nick. That if he'd wanted Nick to change, he would have been with someone else in the first place.

Maybe it hurt Justin to realize that he couldn't get JC to stop trying.

Maybe it hurt Brian to know that he couldn't make Nick stop worrying.

But all JC was doing was loving Justin.

And all Nick was doing was loving Brian.

The only way they knew how.

matthew@matthewtime.com
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