Copyright March 31, 2001 by Matthew Haldeman-Time

Rating: PG

Pairing: Lance Bass/Joey Fatone

Disclaimer: The young men who comprise *NSYNC are their own people.  The author has not met anyone here described, nor does the author mean to suggest that these people act this way in real life.  This writing is a work of fiction.  I make no money from this venture.

Dedication: This slashfic is for Ewan McGregor and the Savage Garden slashers.

Wherein there are toenails and questions, but no codpieces.

Notice: The word of the day for March 31st on my Shakespeare calendar is: codpiece.

---

Alla

        No matter how much he wanted to believe that he hadn't heard those words, he'd heard them.  No matter how badly he wanted to deny their import, he couldn't.

        "I was only in it for the sex."

        It wasn't true.  It wasn't.  It couldn't be.  Joey loved him.  Joey respected him.  Joey liked him.  There was too much between them for...

        "I was only in it for the sex."

        Then what about the rest of it?  What about their friendship?  What about those long nights of talking?  Sleeping in a shared bunk?  Affections and intimacies that were more about them than about sex?

        "I was only in it for the sex."

        Joey had cut his toenails.  Nobody did that just for sex.  Old married couples didn't do that.  If you were grooming someone on that scale, you were in it for more than sex.

        "I was only in it for the sex."

        He'd let Joey in, let Joey change him.  Joey had stretched his limits, his mind, his sexuality.  Opened him.  Entered him.

        "I was only in it for the sex."

        He'd let Joey touch him in new ways, ways he'd never accepted from anyone else.  He'd let Joey through doors, even stepped through a few himself.  He'd let himself think of new things, look at old ones.

        "I was only in it for the sex."

        They'd risked a lot, being together.  If anyone had seen, had known; if word had gotten out...  Their careers were their lives, and their careers could have, would have, ended.

        "I was only in it for the sex."

        He loved Joey.  He was in love with Joey.  It was a mature love, a sincere love, a love with layers and patches and a tear here or there.

        "I was only in it for the sex."

        There were a lot of tears now.