"Sucker"

Sucker

Rating: NC-17 for graphic male-male sex

Pairings: Backstreet Boys/*NSYNC/O-Town

Disclaimer: The young men who comprise the Backstreet Boys, *NSYNC, and O-Town are their own people. The author has not met anyone here described, nor does the author mean to suggest that these people act this way in real life. This writing is a work of fiction. I make no money from this venture.

Dedication: I would like to thank Diamond, for stuff and things.

Continued from part two...

Jacob was taking direction from JC Chasez.

Erik tried not to grin too much. He'd never let Jacob live this down.

Erik was genuinely happy, too. JC kicked so much ass, the world would never recover from the fact of his existence. JC had told Howie three times today to stop touching Erik. Not in a jealous or angry way, just in an amused, would you please get off of him and focus?, way. They both liked him. They both wanted him. He knew Howie wanted him, and JC would not have offered to give him head if JC didn't want him.

JC. Wanted. To give him head.

JC gave head, and JC wanted to suck his dick, and JC obviously sucked Howie's dick, and god. JC wanted him.

Erik was starting to get too hard to hide it. Time for a change of subject.

JC gave great direction. The best part was, to get Jacob to do something, JC would do it first, to let Jacob hear what he wanted. JC was damned good. And he was so fucking sexy. Damn. Erik shifted, adjusting himself in his pants.

Jacob sounded great, too. His voice really did fit the track. He was exploding the mix. JC had said it, and it was true.

Erik liked the way JC talked. Nobody else had that way of putting words together. JC had his own variation on the language.

The door opened; Erik looked. He looked harder. Yes, that really was Brian Littrell. Hey, if Erik kept hanging out with Howie, Kevin was bound to show up. He'd have to get an autograph for Trevor.

Brian said a quick, discreet hi to Howie and took a chair, sitting in the back. Erik waited for him to do something, but all he did was sit there, so Erik's attention went back to JC.

"Give me one more," JC said to Jacob. "Last one. Make it sexy. I want to feel it. Make me hard."

Erik choked.

Jacob looked at Erik.

Erik looked away with a wave of his hand.

Jacob did it, tight and hard with a flip at the end.

"That's it," JC said. "That is it. Jacob, you're done. One last polish and this baby's finished."

Jacob came in and joined them. "So, did I make you hard?"

JC smiled.

Jacob shook his head, letting it go. "Thanks for doing this."

"All my pleasure," JC said.

"Anything for Erik-Michael," Howie said.

"You just sat there," Erik said.

"I bought the CD for him," Howie said. He looked over his shoulder at Brian. "So, you do check your messages. I thought I was going to have to track you down on foot."

"We have problems," Brian said.

"Besides Nick?" Howie asked.

"AJ," Brian said. "Someone talked to him about last night, and he didn't like what he heard. Now Nick and AJ are both suspicious, and... It's not good. They want to talk to you."

"They've been calling me all day," Howie said. "I stopped answering."

"You were there last night, you have an inside track." Brian glanced at Erik, then back to Howie. "They thought you might be able to tell them something."

"There's nothing to tell," Howie said.

Brian seemed to decide that he'd said enough in front of an audience. "Are you staying here, or-"

"No, I'd better go," Howie said. "Damage control."

They stood. Brian paused, looking at Erik and Jacob. "Are the rest of you at your house?"

"Probably," Jacob said. "I don't know. Why?"

"Nick went over there. From the way he talked he may have put his hands on Ashley, and-"

"Nick Carter?" Erik asked.

"Ashley?" Jacob asked.

"I don't know how it went," Brian said. "One of you might want to call home."

"You call," Jacob said to Erik, delegating responsibilities to keep himself free to interrogate Brian. "Why would Nick be mad at Ashley?"

"Nick and Joey have been seeing each other," Howie said.

"Word got back to Nick about the scene last night," Brian said.

"Nick and Joey?" Jacob asked.

"Hey, it's me," Erik said. "Is Ashley there?"

"Nick lets Joey mess around with other people, but what happened last night was public disrespect," Brian said.

"Ashley, did Nick Carter come by the house?" Erik asked.

"Ashley didn't know about Nick," Jacob said. "That's Joey's fault. If Nick's going to harass anyone about it, it should be Joey."

"Are you okay? Did he hit you or anything?" Erik asked.

"I don't want him at our house again," Jacob said.

"If Joey and Ashley don't act like that, he won't be," Brian said.

"Ashley didn't know," Jacob said.

"Now he does," Brian said.

"Jacob's coming home," Erik said. "No, it's cool, we're done here. No, he was on his way anyway. Okay. Bye." He hung up. "Go home. Be nice."

"I'm always nice," Jacob said.

Erik looked at him.

Jacob laughed.

Erik grinned. "Just go."

"JC, thanks," Jacob said.

"No problem," JC said.

Jacob left.

"I'll be right back," Brian said to Howie, and left.

"I'm going to go," Howie said. He leaned down to where JC was sitting, running his fingers through JC's hair, and kissed the side of JC's neck. He whispered something Erik couldn't hear, and JC made a soft noise, barely audible. Howie straightened and turned to Erik, kissing his lips.

Erik barely stopped himself from trying to kiss Howie back.

Howie left. The door closed.

Erik was alone with JC. "Joey's with Nick?"

"Yeah," JC said, swivelling his chair to face Erik. "I'm with Howie, Joey's with Nick, Justin's with AJ. Kevin used to be with Chris, back in the day. Now that I'm friends with you, and Chris is friends with Trevor, and Joey got public with Ashley, and Justin spent half of last night talking to Dan, the Boys are getting suspicious."

"They're just friends," Erik said, taking a seat. "We're just friends."

"Are we?" JC asked.

Complicated question. Erik avoided answering it. "How did all of you get together like that? That's weird."

"We run into each other all of the time. Awards shows, benefits, clubs. When Kevin and Chris were dating, we're around Chris so much and they're around Kevin so much, we all ran into each other even more than before. Howie and I started talking. Nick and Joey started screwing. Kevin and Chris broke up, but Howie and I started...dating. We're the normal couple. AJ and Justin are too new, and Nick and Joey break up once a week."

"Is everybody gay?" Erik asked.

"After you've been in the business for this long, it doesn't matter as much," JC said. "Besides, you should take love and comfort where you can get them. Are you gay?"

Whoa. "No."

"Do you want me?"

Erik had never had to say it before. He'd never had to do anything. JC and Howie had been the ones taking the step each time.

JC put a hand on his knee, then slid that hand up the outside of his thigh.

"Yes," Erik said, feeling his body respond, trying not to gasp when JC's hand slid underneath his thigh, between him and the chair, and started massaging.

"You don't have to identify yourself as gay to find sexual attraction with another man," JC said. "Joey considers himself nothing but straight." His hand massaged down the back of Erik's thigh, towards the sensitive bend of Erik's knee.

"Are you gay?"

"I don't know. Probably. I want Howie. He's a man. I want you. You're a man."

Erik had forgotten all of his lines and all of his moves. JC's hand was behind his knee, massaging, and JC's eyes were looking right into him, and JC had just confessed to wanting him, and he was very, very hard.

Jacob pulled up in the drive. The way Brian had talked to him in the studio, they'd been equals, both defending their own, both making the other face up to it. They hadn't been mad at each other; they'd respected each other.

Then Brian had come after him to tell him that Brian was sorry for whatever Nick had done, that Brian would talk to the other Boys, that Brian knew that Jacob and his guys weren't trying to step on their territory.

Jacob had apologized on behalf of Ashley and had assured Brian that no disrespect was intended.

That exchange, that back and forth, had felt good. Jacob had liked finding someone else who handled business and protected his own the way Jacob did.

When he and the guys had started out, their band, their managers, their vocal coach, everyone from Lou on down had been the same people who'd worked with the Backstreet Boys. It hadn't been a secret, either. Lou had held up the Boys as the example, as the goal; everyone else had made references and comparisons. Jacob had hated it. But there was one person he hadn't minded talking about the Boys: Billy Chapin.

Billy had been a guitarist in the Boys's early band, and had worked a lot of one-on-one time with Brian, the way he'd worked one-on-one time with Jacob. Billy had had a lot of affection for Brian, and had talked about Brian's playing style and Brian's writing style with real respect and fondness. After a while, Jacob had started to ask Billy questions, to get Billy to share memories with him.

Jacob, frankly, hated the Backstreet Boys for their arrogance, for their attitudes, and for destroying popular music. They'd damaged his career before he could get it started. But he'd never minded Brian...too much. He'd even sort of liked Brian...in theory.

He'd assumed that he'd only liked Brian because he didn't know Brian, and that once they met, he'd realize that Brian was just another Backstreet Boy like the rest.

He'd been wrong. Brian really wasn't that bad, after all.

Maybe some people could thrive in spite of the company they kept.

Jacob walked into the house and found Ashley with Dan and Trevor in the living room. "Joey or Nick? Who do you want me to go after first?"

Dan laughed.

"I love you, man," Ashley said to Jacob.

"I mean it," Jacob said.

"That's why we love you," Dan said. "Take a seat, relax. Ashley's fine."

"How'd it go at the studio?" Trevor asked.

JC was kissing the side of his face, leaning him back over the board, one hand getting a serious grip on his ass. JC's mouth found his ear, licking it, sucking on his earlobe.

They'd already talked about this, but some society-bred instinct in Erik made him say, "I'm not gay."

"We don't have to fuck," JC said, whispering it right by his ear, sucking his neck. "Just let me suck your dick."

"Oh..." God... "Okay." He could live with that. God, holy god, he was making out with JC. Whatever he'd done to deserve this, he wanted to do it again. He was so fucking hard, and JC was so fucking good, and it was like he was in the middle of his own fantasy.

JC kissed like sex. His tongue knew moves that made Erik's knees melt and his - - Jesus, that was his dick, JC's dick was hard against his stomach, but Erik couldn't even freak out because JC's hands were squeezing his ass and JC was sucking on his tongue like, like, oh god, he wanted to fuck JC.

JC's hips started rocking against him.

He had to fuck JC. He was seriously going to come, any second now, right in his pants, and not even be ashamed, because JC was on him and he was kissing JC and JC was grinding against him and he was fucking going to come. He'd never done anything like this, nothing even close, and it was the hottest thing he could imagine.

JC pulled up his shirt and slid down his body, kneeling, sucking the skin below his navel.

Erik moaned, his dick straining to get to JC's mouth, panting in lust and awe and shock. That was JC, JC was, JC was a guy and this couldn't be fucking happening but god, god, it was happening and JC was so fucking close to his dick it hurt.

A phone rang.

"Shit," JC said. He got up. "This is JC."

Erik tried to breathe, resisting the urge to grab JC and - - god, he had to fuck JC's mouth, he had to get JC back down there again, he was painfully hard and the sight of JC kneeling there for his dick had just about broken his brain.

"Howie," JC said.

Oh, shit. Erik didn't know whether to feel guilty or not. JC was with Howie, so being with JC was making JC cheat on Howie, but Howie wanted him, too. Did that make it any better, or was he just trying to rationalize?

JC stepped into the hallway, closing the door.

Erik decided that guilt might be appropriate.

JC ducked out of hearing range. "What took you so long? I was already on my freaking knees! Five more minutes and I might've had to... No, not that bad. He almost knows how to kiss. His body's not one hundred percent, but he does have decent skin. Not bad, I didn't touch it but it seemed okay. Yeah. Okay. I'd better get back to him. Okay. Bye." JC hung up.

Erik looked up when JC came back in. "Howie?"

"I'm sorry, Erik-Michael. I can't do this."

"That's okay," Erik said, obviously lying, shivering when JC's hand stroked down his back.

"I'll take you back to my place so you can get your car."

"Okay."

Erik looked so desperate, JC kissed him gently. "Maybe later, baby. I'll talk to Howie."

It was three o'clock in the morning when Ashley wakened, thinking he'd heard something. He waited, but there was nothing more, so he closed his eyes and settled in again.

There it was! Ashley sat up, looking around the room. Where was it coming from? He couldn't identify the sound.

Again! Ashley got out of bed and turned on the light, looking for movement.

"Ashley!"

What in the...? Ashley went to the window, trying to see.

"Ashley!"

"Joey?" Joey was down there, waving to get his attention. "What do you want?"

"Let me in," Joey said.

"Hold on." Ashley hurried downstairs as quietly as he could. He opened the front door and let Joey in. "What are you doing here?"

"I'm sorry I woke you up. Did he hurt you?"

"Who? Nick? No. Are you supposed to be here?" He'd been intimidated by Nick earlier, but now he was just confused. He hadn't even realized that anyone had a claim to Joey, and he never would have guessed that Joey had anything to do with Nick. Joey had just fucked Sheila in this house.

"Nick's great in bed, but he can be an asshole out of it. I'm sorry for whatever he said to you. He was mad at me."

"He should have been. If you're with him, why did you... I just want to be your friend, Joey. I don't want to get in the middle of anything." If he'd known, he never would've - - Ashley flushed with shame, remembering the club, the cage.

"I know," Joey said. "I know you don't. It's my fault. You're so pretty, Ash, and the way the girls were climbing all over you, I wanted to climb all over you, too."

Joey had wanted him? Did Joey still want him? But, no, that didn't mean anything. "I'm not... I just want to be your friend," Ashley said. He still wasn't sure how he felt about what he'd done, or how Joey felt about it, either. But none of that mattered, because Joey was taken. That was okay. Joey's friendship was what mattered. He didn't want anything more.

"When I'm with you, you're so pretty and we have so much fun together... I go back to Nick and I wish I were still with you."

Ashley wished they could spend more time together, too. "If you don't like him, if he treats you like that, leave him," Ashley said.

"I can't," Joey said.

"Why not?"

"When we're together, we have this passion. There's this thing between us. The sex is amazing. He's unbelievable. I've never been with anyone like him. He fucks like a... I can't explain it. I know sex. I know good sex. He's beyond anything I've ever had."

How good could the sex really be? "It's not worth it," Ashley said. Nick was too jealous, too possessive, and Joey had just called him a bastard and an asshole. Joey could get sex anywhere; why stay with a jerk?

"He's the first guy I've ever been with. I never thought I'd ever do a guy. But Nick, he told me what he could do to me, and I thought, yeah, right, in his dreams. I tried it, just to get him to shut up, but he did it. He delivered. It was even better than he'd told me it would be. I was sure it was just him, that no guy would ever do it for me like he did. But then, in the cage, with you... It was so different, you're so different, but it was so good... I want you, Ashley, and Nick knows it. You got to my body the way he did."

"I wasn't trying to get you away from him," Ashley said. "I didn't even know that you were with him."

"I'm not asking you for anything," Joey said. "I'll work it out with Nick, or maybe I won't, but I don't want you to be caught in the middle of it."

"I don't want to be in the middle," Ashley said. Whatever Joey felt for Nick, that was between them. He couldn't stand hearing Joey say these things, comparing him to Nick, because there was too much stunning information all at once. Was Nick really that great in bed? Was Joey really tempted by Ashley? Was Nick and Joey's relationship really coming apart?

"I want you to be my friend," Joey said, stepping closer, his hand warm on Ashley's arm. "I don't want to lose that."

"Of course," Ashley said, his voice growing quiet as he looked into Joey's eyes. They could always be friends, no matter what.

"I didn't invite you to the club to do that to you," Joey said, tone softening, his gaze focusing inside Ashley.

"I know." Ashley felt it again, that slow, steady drawing forward of whatever it was in him that Joey saw, that Joey called forth. It was like Joey drew on everything sexual inside of him, everything private and hidden, everything he'd tried to tuck away and deny. He could be himself with Joey. He could let all of those private things out. It was so...freeing...

"Once it started, I didn't want to stop it. Just the way you looked, I wanted to... God, Ashley." Joey put his arm around Ashley's waist, his forehead against Ashley's.

Ashley closed his eyes, draping his arm around Joey's neck. He hadn't wanted to stop it, either. He'd felt like it could last forever.

"You don't know how much I wanted you." Joey's hand slid down Ashley's naked back to Ashley's waist, then slid down lower, over Ashley's ass, pushing Ashley's boxer-briefs out of the way as he went, feeling Ashley's skin naked to his touch.

"Just friends," Ashley whispered.

"Good friends," Joey corrected, rocking his hard-on against Ashley's.

Ashley moaned softly, remembering the way this had felt, lost between the memory of then and the reality of now. "You should go."

"I'll go after you come," Joey said, rubbing his finger in the cleft of Ashley's ass, finding the small pucker there, pressing his finger against it.

Ashley moaned, wrapping his other arm around Joey now, dropping his head back. "You...go..."

"I'll go," Joey promised, pushing down Ashley's boxer-briefs with his other hand, baring Ashley's erection. The foyer was dark, lit by the glow of a lamp from the living room, and Joey almost wished that they had better lighting so that he could watch Ashley. "I'll go if you come."

"Joey," Ashley said, rocking his hips while Joey rubbed his erection. Joey's finger dipped inside, finding his prostate, and Ashley gasped, holding on more tightly. "Joey!"

"Ssshhh," Joey said. He pulled his finger back out, wrapping his arm around Ashley's waist instead for more steady support. He'd only done it as an experiment, to see if Ashley'd flip and shove him away or not. He'd gotten his answer. Ashley was pretty much the whore in angel's clothing he'd been expecting. He jacked Ashley's cock.

Ashley moaned, tensing, up on his toes, one foot off the floor. He clung to Joey, panting hard.

Joey kissed him for the hell of it. Well, fuck Joey. Ashley kissed like a greedy whore. Damn, Joey should've kissed him a lot earlier. Maybe this wouldn't be so bad after all.

Ashley came, spurting semen over Joey's hand and between their bodies, groaning, slipping. Joey held him up until he found his feet again.

"Friends," Joey said.

"Just friends," Ashley whispered, clinging to him, shivering once.

"Invite me back for tomorrow."

"Come back tomorrow," Ashley whispered.

Joey kissed him, pulling his underwear back up, caressing his ass and thighs. One final kiss and Joey left.

Shaken, flustered, Ashley pushed the door shut, leaning heavily against it. He hadn't meant for that to happen. He didn't know why Joey was getting to him like this. The way Joey had...touched him... Ashley swallowed, fumbling the locks. He didn't understand what was going on. First everything at the club, and now this, and Joey was coming back tomorrow, but what about Nick? If Joey really was with Nick, Joey wouldn't be touching him like this. Kissing him like this. Making him feel so...hot, so free, so...wanted... He'd never been with a man, he'd never felt anything like this, but the effect Joey had on him... It all had to mean something. There was something between them, something he hadn't expected. Something...real.

In his car, Joey found tissues in the glove compartment and wiped Ashley's cum off of his hand.

Chris tied his sneakers. He'd taken a day off to recover from Brian. He couldn't have faced Trevor, not yesterday. There was something about the idea of those worlds colliding that frightened him. As far as Trevor knew, Chris was who he said he was; he was how he presented himself. He didn't need Trevor to know his secret.

He was feeling better today. Spending time with Trevor was just what he needed to take his mind off of Brian. They were all supposed to go over to O-Town's house, a surprise visit en masse, to hang out and plant ideas in innocent minds. Kevin had given Chris his personal orders, and Chris planned to carry them out.

Joey woke up wanting to fuck somebody.

After leaving Ashley, he'd gone home and dreamt about what had happened, only Ashley kept turning into AJ, and Joey kept ending up on his knees with AJ's pre-cum wet on his tongue and AJ's body heated under his hands.

He hoped Ashley would return last night's favor. It would only be fair. They were, after all, good friends.

Justin had been having nightmares about Kevin again. He hadn't slept well last night. But that didn't matter, because he had to get up and go spend the day pretending to give a shit about Dan.

He'd rather spend the day dialing the first six digits of Kevin's number before hanging up.

That was how he'd spent yesterday.

Maybe, after he finished up with Dan today, he could stop by Kevin's house. Just for a second, just to see if Kevin were at home. Maybe Kevin would let him in. Maybe Kevin would kiss him. Maybe pigs would fly.

JC fixed his hair and slipped on his sandals. Erik-Michael. Decent skin. Half-decent kisser. Not overexcited, so not likely to come too soon and ruin JC's flow. Hadn't touched JC much, but might have been too nervous to know where to touch. JC could teach him.

Oh, JC would teach him. If he was going to be allowed to screw JC, JC was going to make sure he did it right. JC was too good to suffer through a lousy lay, even for this cause.

Lance wakened in Howie's bed. He got up and left, knowing better than to disturb Howie's rest. He'd been granted more than enough privileges by being allowed to stay the night.

Lance knew full well that there was a revolving door on Howie's bedroom now. He wasn't the only one licking Howie's cock. As far as he knew he was the only one Howie actually had sex with, but that was only a matter of time.

Lance hated it, but he couldn't do anything about it. He couldn't even blame JC.

He couldn't blame Howie, either. He never did, for anything.

He remembered all of those times, before, when he hadn't had to crawl out of Howie's bed in the morning. He'd stay, and sleep, and he'd wake up to the backs of Howie's fingers rubbing across his cheek. He'd open his eyes, and Howie would smile at him, that pretty, pretty smile. He'd say good morning, and Howie would kiss him and caress his chest, and they'd make love.

He remembered winding his fingers in Howie's hair. Howie's hair had been longer, then, spilling over Howie's shoulders like silk, and-

Jesus. He had it bad.

But everything had been perfect, back then. So perfect he hadn't even realized how incredible every second of it had been, until it was gone.

Before, if he'd ever had to leave while Howie was still in bed, he'd kiss Howie's cheek before he left and whisper, "Bye, Howie. I have to go." Howie's eyes would open, gifting him with that luscious brown, and Howie would tug him in again, kissing him softly. He'd linger, tempted, and then he'd murmur a quick "I love you" and Howie would kiss him one more time and say, "I love you, too," and he'd risk one more kiss and leave before he made himself any more vulnerable.

He'd been a fool to think that any part of him was invulnerable to Howie. He'd been a fool to think that he wasn't completely exposed and at risk from the second he first looked into those eyes. He'd been a fool to think that he wasn't absolutely doomed from that first, slow kiss.

He'd been a fool to think Howie had ever returned his love.

He'd been a fool to come to Howie's bed last night.

He'd be a fool again, tomorrow.

"...came over last night," Ashley said.

"When?" Jacob asked.

"Late," Ashley said.

"For what?" Erik asked.

"To apologize," Ashley said. "He knows he put me in the middle of something I didn't even know was going on. He's sorry. We talked about it."

"You forgave him," Jacob said.

"He's sorry," Ashley said. "He knows it wasn't fair to me. He's coming over sometime today."

"With Nick hot on his heels," Jacob said. "Any time you see Joey, you run the risk of Nick showing up here again."

"Joey and I are just friends," Ashley said.

"Try telling Nick that," Jacob said. "It doesn't look like just friends. Erik and I are just friends, and I don't gyrate on him in clubs."

"And I appreciate that," Erik said.

"You're asking for trouble," Jacob told Ashley.

"I'm asking you to let him visit me without you getting in his face," Ashley said.

"Yeah, that'll happen," Erik said.

The five of them met in a parking lot. It was awkward, which was unusual for them. JC didn't know how to act around Lance, since they were both giving Howie sexual favors. Lance had gone down on Brian, which was guaranteed to cause Chris pain if Chris found out. Justin didn't want them to find out that Kevin had fucked him after the club; and while there was no reason for them to know, he felt like it was stamped on his forehead.

Joey was horny, but Joey was horny fairly often, so it didn't make a difference.

"Townhouse, this is Trevor."

"Trevor Penick, the love stud of millions?"

"That's me," Trevor said.

"I'm on a secret, top-secret mission, and I can't talk long. Is everyone there?"

"Yes," Trevor said. "Why?"

"Keep them busy. I'll be there as soon as I can." Chris hung up.

"Crazy," Trevor said, setting down the phone. "Guys!"

"What?" Erik shouted back.

"Chris is coming over!"

Jacob checked his internal hatred meter. He loathed Chris in general, but Chris hadn't done anything specific to them. Chris had ditched Trevor at the club, but Trevor said that Chris specifically had asked if Trevor could get a ride from Joey, so Jacob had to give him some credit.

Trevor had been looking forward to seeing Chris. According to Erik, Chris had used to date Kevin. Kevin. Hot damn. First, they had to clear up the whole 'Chris was gay' issue, because Trevor had neither known nor suspected for a second. Then, Trevor wanted to know all about Kevin Richardson. And AJ, Brian, Nick, and Howie. And Kevin. Kevin! That Kevin. The Kevin. Chris had dated Kevin. That meant that Chris had had sex with Kevin. Trevor had already liked Chris, but damn, now Chris had to be Trevor's new best friend for real.

The doorbell rang. That had been quick. Trevor opened the door.

*NSYNC. Not just Chris, but all five guys. "Hi," Trevor said, not knowing what else to say.

"We brought lunch," Chris said. "Subs."

"More subs," Lance said.

"Beer," Justin said.

"More beer," Joey said.

"And chips," JC said.

"I see. Okay. Come on in," Trevor said. Wow. Okay, he could go with this. They were just people. Normal, regular people. No problem. "Guys! Yo!"

"What - - oh my god," Jacob said, stopping short. "Oh, hell, no."

"Hey, food!" Erik said. "Hi, guys."

Jacob rubbed his forehead. "Okay. Fine. Take it to the living room, eat it in there."

"You're eating with us," Erik said.

"Yes, you are," Trevor said before Jacob could disagree. Trevor took some of the subs from Chris while Erik dragged Jacob into the living room.

"Are we having a party?" Dan asked.

"Food, alcohol, ten friends in one room, I wouldn't call that a party, would you?" Justin asked Chris.

"I'd call it a charming luncheon get-together," Chris said.

"Somebody get Ashley," Erik said. "Ashley!"

Ashley jogged into the room. "Hey. Hi. What's going on?"

"A charming luncheon get-together," Dan said.

"Hey." Joey pulled Ashley down beside him on the floor and fed him a chip.

Ashley chewed and swallowed, turning red. "Hey."

The ten of them were very different people with very different personal backgrounds who happened to live similar lives. They ended up talking about everything and anything, in smaller groups and all together.

No one mentioned the Backstreet Boys. Dan could see Jacob wanting to demand of Joey why he was sitting practically in Ashley's lap if he had a boyfriend at home, but Jacob kept quiet and let Ashley live Ashley's life.

When Joey started kissing Ashley's neck, Chris flicked Joey's ear until he stopped. Ashley laughed and squeezed Joey's hand.

Trevor flicked Chris's ear.

Chris smacked at Trevor's hand.

"Your ears stick out a little," Trevor said.

"Your hair sticks out a lot," Chris said.

"You want to make something of it?" Trevor asked.

Ashley coughed discreetly. "We aren't allowed to talk about each other's hair."

"You're not allowed?" Lance asked.

"It was a group decision," Dan said.

"That explains a few things," JC said.

Ashley laughed.

Jacob glared.

Chris flicked Joey's temple to get him off of Ashley again.

"I'm taking the remix over to the station," JC said to Erik. "Jimmy said he'd play it for us. You want to come help me introduce it?"

"Yeah," Erik said. "Absolutely."

"Make us proud," Ashley said.

"Don't I always?" Erik asked.

"Don't say anything," Trevor said to Jacob.

"What?" Jacob asked.

JC stood, holding out a hand to help up Erik. "See you guys later."

"Yeah, see you guys later," Erik said.

"Gloat much?" Ashley asked, watching Erik go.

Erik turned around, stuck his tongue out at them, and ran after JC.

"I wish I had a pop star boyfriend. Girlfriend," Trevor corrected himself.

"No, they suck," Chris said.

"Tell me about it," Joey said.

"Stop nuzzling him," Lance said.

"Should I move?" Ashley asked.

"Yes," everyone said.

"No, stay here," Joey said. "I'll behave."

Justin snorted.

"What about you?" Jacob asked Justin. "How's your pop star boyfriend?"

"Jake," Ashley said.

"No, it's okay," Justin said. "AJ's great. He looks after me, and it's been a while since I had someone do that. He's strong, and he's older than I am, and he doesn't expect me to be his world like girls usually, always, do."

"Quick, boy band trivia," Dan said to Trevor.

"Go," Trevor said.

"Who here's younger than Justin?"

"Ashley," Trevor said.

Dan waited for more.

Trevor was finished.

"That's it?" Dan asked.

"Yeah," Trevor said. "Justin's younger than everybody except Ashley."

Dan turned to Justin. "You're young."

"Say my name again," Justin said.

"Justin," Dan said.

Justin smiled, a real smile.

"What?" Dan asked.

"Juthtin," Ashley said, grinning.

"Shut up," Dan said.

"I like it," Justin said.

"Are any of you older than Lance?" JC asked Trevor.

"No, he's older," Trevor said. He and Erik were older than Nick Carter, but he didn't think he should bring up Nick, since Joey was nibbling Ashley's ear.

"What about me?" Chris asked. "Do me, do me."

"We're definitely all older than you," Trevor said.

"No contest," Lance said.

"I'm going to have to hang out with you a lot more," Justin said to Ashley. "I'm always the youngest. I'm keeping you around."

"You can't have him, he's mine," Joey said.

"Okay, thanks for bringing the food, time to clean up," Jacob said, grabbing a plate and getting to his feet.

"Subtle," Chris said.

"Jacob wants Ashley for himself," Trevor said.

"Ashley should be so lucky," Jacob said, and went into the kitchen.

"Show me your room," Joey said to Ashley.

"You've seen my room," Ashley said.

"Show me again," Joey said.

"Okay." Ashley got up. Joey grabbed a couple of beers and followed him upstairs.

"We can pretend to help clean up and then disappear," Trevor said to Chris. "Take one plate into the kitchen, and follow my lead."

"Got it," Chris said, picking up his designated plate. He followed Trevor into the kitchen, set his plate on top of Trevor's, and turned to go. Then their plan hit a snag; Jacob said something to Trevor. Chris wondered if he should wait for Trevor, or go get another plate to continue the charade. He turned, and found Dan right in front of him.

"Hey," Dan said.

"Hi," Chris said.

"It's cool that you're hanging out with Trevor. I don't know if you noticed, but he can get pretty serious sometimes. But when you're around, he's a lot happier. Some of that weight lifts. It's great to see."

"I did that?" Chris asked. That was kind of cool. He was having a positive influence on someone?

"Yeah," Dan said, grinning.

Trevor tugged at Chris's elbow. "Come on, the coast is clear." They ducked out into the backyard.

Jacob left Dan with Justin in the kitchen and returned to the living room, where Lance was gathering trash. "What's our deal?"

"What?" Lance asked.

"Joey's doing Nick and trying to get in Ashley's pants. JC's doing Howie and leading Erik around. Chris used to be with Kevin and is hanging out with Trevor. Justin's with AJ and keeps acting interested in Dan. I figure that leaves you, me, and Brian."

"Between you and me?" Lance asked. "No farther? I've sucked Brian's dick. I don't want to have anything to do with you. I'm here because my friends like your friends, and they asked me to come."

"Wait." Jacob held Lance back. "You sucked Brian's dick?"

"Yes," Lance said.

"Wait," Jacob said, holding him back again. "Why? Is he gay?"

"No, he's straight," Lance said. "I'm gay."

"You're gay?"

"Yes."

"You...gave Brian a blowjob?"

"Yes."

"Did he like it?"

"Yes. Most guys do." Lance handed Jacob a clump of dirty napkins. "Tell Justin I had to go."

Jacob went to the guesthouse and closed the door.

Dan and Justin sat by the pool, their feet in the water, and talked.

Ashley and Joey made out on Ashley's bed.

Chris and Trevor lounged on the grass, rolling to their backs and looking up at the sky. "Can I ask you something?"

"Yes, I am a natural blond," Chris said.

"Hey, yeah, me, too," Trevor said.

"Wow, who knew?" Chris asked.

"Are you gay?"

"No."

"Oh."

"Not entirely," Chris amended.

"Like JC?" Trevor asked.

"No, like Justin," Chris said. "I'm ninety-five percent straight, but once in a while I'll let myself veer towards a guy."

"A guy like Kevin?"

"A guy like Kevin," Chris agreed.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"Do you want to hear about it?"

"Yeah," Trevor admitted.

"For you, love muffin, I'll talk about it." Chris flowed smoothly into his script. "It was a good time in my life. I even had good hair. Kevin approached me. We started to hang out, talk, and do things together. He's the epitome of tall, dark, and handsome. Who could resist? I was interested in being more than friends. He figured out that if he kissed me, I'd blow him. I told him I loved him. He popped my cherry. I tried to be a good boyfriend. He tried to fuck around on me without getting caught. We weren't very good together, what with him breaking my heart and all, so we broke up."

"He used you?" Trevor asked.

"Used me, cheated on me, acted like an arrogant fuck, who's counting?" Chris asked. "He looks good. He looks great. He's still one of the most beautiful men I've ever seen. And he's great in bed. He knows what he's doing. He's had a lot of experience. But he doesn't care about anyone besides himself."

"Then why were you...in love with him?"

"I kept looking at him. When someone looks that good, it's hard not to be blinded by it."

"I can't believe he did that to you. I'm sorry."

"Oh, yeah, I'm over it," Chris said. "It makes it harder to see my friends with his friends, because I'm waiting for them to get hurt like I did."

"Kevin was my favorite," Trevor said.

"What? Really?" This was news.

"Yeah," Trevor said. "I wanted to be him when I grew up."

Damn. Jackpot. Chris wished he'd known this earlier. "Why?"

"He was so tall and he seemed so strong. Sometimes I doubt myself, and I don't believe I can do it. Kevin looked like he could carry a lot on his shoulders. Nick and AJ were really young, and Brian was still pretty young and kind of crazy, and Howie's always been too nice, so I thought Kevin must have been their role model, the one in charge. There are a lot of people outside of the band telling everybody what to do, but there has to be somebody inside the group saying hey, guys, this is how it is." Trevor rolled onto his stomach. "I wanted to be like that. I'm not. But I didn't know he was an arrogant jackass, either."

"You're cuter than he is, anyway," Chris said.

Trevor laughed. "You're full of it."

"You are," Chris said. "He can be so hard and cold, it makes it hard to look at him. You aren't like that. There's something in your eyes. Especially when you smile. You should smile more."

Trevor rolled onto his back.

Chris raised himself onto an elbow, resting his weight there, freeing his other hand. He touched Trevor's hair. "It's okay if you still like Kevin. Part of me still likes Kevin. If you meet him, and the way things are going you probably will, just don't trust him right off the bat."

"I always wanted to meet him," Trevor said. "I used to practice what I'd say. I don't know, now. If I ran into him now, I'd want him to tell me why he'd hurt you like that."

"He hurt me like that because I let him," Chris said. "What do you call this hairstyle?"

"A Trevor original," Trevor said.

"Am I going to mess it up?"

"No."

"Do you want me to stop?"

"I want you to stop talking about it. Just keep doing it. If we keep talking about it, I'm going to have to admit how weird it is to have another guy on me like this, and then we'll have to stop."

"Close your eyes and pretend I'm a pretty girl with a great rack."

Trevor closed his eyes. He grinned. "A really great rack?"

"A really great rack," Chris said. He ran his fingertips along the edge of Trevor's hairline. "She thinks you're a good singer and a great dancer. And she knows you're a better, stronger person than you think you are." Chris stroked the tight fuzz at Trevor's scalp. Trevor was nothing like Brian. Nothing at all like Brian.

Brian had destroyed him.

He had to destroy Trevor.

He knew that shouldn't be the way the world worked, but Brian had taught him that maybe it was the way the world worked, regardless of what should or shouldn't be.

Joey had come in Ashley's hand. Not tremendously satisfying, but it had helped. He was about to talk Ashley into giving him a blowjob when his cell phone rang. He leaned off of the edge of the bed and found it. "You got Joey."

Ashley ran his hands over Joey's shoulders, down Joey's arms.

"No, I just went out for lunch with the guys," Joey said. "Yeah. Okay. No, no, we were about to go, JC already left. Do you want me to come over, or... Okay. No, I'll be there. Sure. Yeah. Okay. Bye." Joey hung up. "Shit. Nick's on his way to my place. I have to get there before he does."

"He doesn't know you're here."

"Of course he doesn't know I'm here," Joey said, getting up, grabbing his clothes. "Shit, I have your cum all over me. Where's the bathroom?"

"First door," Ashley said, gesturing. When Joey left, Ashley turned his head, closing his eyes. Nick was Joey's boyfriend. Nick was the one Joey answered to. Ashley was the friend Joey fucked on the side.

Joey came back, still getting dressed. One shoe on, jeans undone, he knelt on the bed and kissed Ashley's cheek. "Come on, Ash, pretty, don't do this. I'm sorry." He kissed Ashley's mouth and ran his hand over Ashley's hair. "I don't know how I feel about you, I don't know what this is, but you make me feel things even Nick never has. I don't want to lose you."

Ashley always did this. He always ended up with girls who said they loved him, and then hurt him. He always ended up with girls who were back and forth, with him and not with him, wanting commitment and then wanting time apart. He'd sworn he wouldn't do it again. He didn't want to go through this anymore. And not with a guy, not with a man. He'd always believed that if, when, he ever got to be with a man, it would be different. This was too much the same, too likely to hurt.

Joey kissed him. "I know I won't leave him for good unless I have something better waiting for me. You're the best thing I could ever have. You're the only reason I'd walk away for real."

"I can't," Ashley said.

Joey was nuzzling him. Joey's beard scratched and tickled his skin. "I wanted to bring you up here, pour beer down your chest and lick it off your abs."

Ashley laughed. "Joey, you're a pervert."

"Tell me I can next time."

"There shouldn't be a next time. You're with Nick. I don't want to be the other...other..."

"Other pretty girl my dick's in love with," Joey whispered, kissing his neck.

"I'm not a pretty girl," Ashley protested, trying to stay in the conversation, lured away by Joey's hands feeling over his body.

"You're so fucking pretty I could fuck you forever," Joey said. "Ash, promise me."

"Promise what?" Ashley asked, running his hands down Joey's back.

"Promise me you'll wait for me. Promise me that until I'm free for you, you'll still be my friend."

"Just your friend," Ashley said, groaning and twisting when Joey's hand covered his erection.

"Just my friend," Joey agreed, pressing his finger back behind Ashley's balls. "Promise me, pretty."

"I promise," Ashley said, panting, and Joey kissed him. "Go, go..."

"I can't leave you like this," Joey said.

"Nick's waiting," Ashley said, digging one heel into the mattress, arching his back.

"You make me want to fuck you," Joey said.

"No, no..." Ashley moaned when Joey's finger pushed into his body. "Oh, god, Joey, no..."

"When can I?" Joey asked, feeling how tight Ashley was around his finger. "When can I fuck you?"

"Not now," Ashley said. "Oh, Joey, I'm going to come-"

"Later?" Joey asked. "Can I fuck you later? Tell me I can, Ashley, tell me you'll let me fuck you soon."

"I'm going to come I'm going to come-"

"I want to fuck you so hard," Joey said.

"Oh, Joey," and Ashley came as Joey's hand worked over his dick.

Damn it, Joey had just washed that shirt.

Ashley panted softly.

Joey let go of Ashley's dick and wiped his hand on the sheet while Ashley wasn't looking. He still had one finger inside Ashley, and he gently pushed it in farther.

Ashley moaned, a sound of pleasure and protest at once, trying to close his legs.

Joey withdrew his finger. "Ashley."

Blond lashes fluttered; blue eyes opened. "Joey."

"I have to go, pretty," Joey said, kissing Ashley, getting up. He finished dressing himself. "I'll call you, or I'll come over." He kissed Ashley again. "Bye, Ashley."

"Bye," Ashley said, watching Joey go. He sighed and stared at the ceiling. He needed to find a way to talk to Joey without having sex, because every time Joey started touching him, he said things and did things he knew weren't quite right.

He'd be Joey's friend. Whatever was between Nick and Joey, Nick and Joey could handle. He was Joey's friend, and that was it.

That was all.

Nothing more.

Just friends.

"You make me want to fuck you."

Just friends.

In the backyard, Chris stroked Trevor's hair and pretended life didn't hurt anymore.

By the pool, Justin and Dan lounged and talked.

JC dropped Erik off at the front door, kissing him with just enough tongue to get him hard.

Justin's phone rang. "You've been Justified."

Dan tried not to laugh.

"No, just hanging with the guys," Justin said. Dark blue eyes flickered towards Dan and away again. "No. Yeah. No... Yeah, let me get dressed and come over. Yeah. Okay. Bye." He hung up. "I have to go."

"Sure," Dan said. "Is that how you always answer your phone?"

"Yeah. Why, do you hate it?"

"I like it," Dan said. "I'd call you just to hear you say it."

Justin laughed. "Why can't everybody think that way?" Dan handed him a towel, and he dried his feet. "The guys and I have a tendency to include each other in everything we do. Joey says 'ah,' Lance says 'choo.' Since they're all making big plans to spend twelve hours a day here, I might tag along a lot."

"We'll find something for you to do," Dan said.

"Thanks." Justin's smile was all teeth. He put on his socks and sneakers, then stood. "You want to walk me out, or do you trust me to make it to the door unescorted?"

"I'll walk you," Dan said. "Thanks for bringing lunch."

"Our pleasure," Justin said. "We were crazy trying to buy it. Lance and I were fighting over what kind of bread we wanted to get and how many sandwiches; Joey kept saying no onions because he was planning to kiss Ashley; Chris was throwing in crazy orders like extra marshmallows, hold the coconut; and then Joey and I started fighting over what kinds of cheese went with which kinds of meat."

"How'd you get out of there?" Dan asked.

"JC told everybody to shut up and ordered what he wanted. We give him shit for being a creative genius with his pedicured feet off of the ground, but he's the head of the household." They were at the door. "Looks like your household has two heads."

"Yeah," Dan said. "Jacob and I...take turns, depending on the issue."

Justin's hand stroked down Dan's forearm, then dropped. "I've gotta go," Justin said. "I'll see you."

Dan opened the door for him. "Thanks for coming."

"Bye."

Justin lingered.

Dan waited.

Justin shook his head and left.

Dan closed the door. Justin had more experience in the industry than they did, and a lot of wild stories to tell, and a vast store of talent; but when it came down to it, Justin was one of them: young, in love with singing, trying to make it through with his four best friends.

"It's getting dark," Trevor said. "Did I fall asleep?"

"For a little bit," Chris said.

"Is there something you're not telling me about Kevin? If there is, it's none of my business, but I feel like there's more to it."

"It's simple," Chris said. "I gave him my heart, and instead of politely refusing it, he decided to break it."

Trevor rolled onto his stomach, his weight on his arm beneath him. "I'm sorry."

It was Trevor's eyes. The depth of emotion in them. Ashley's eyes sparkled with pretty boy happiness; Erik's eyes held whatever shallow emotion Erik wanted to project; Trevor's eyes were deep and profound no matter what the situation. "I messed up your hair," Chris said.

"Forget about it," Trevor said, and put his hand on Chris's arm. "I'm sorry for what Kevin did to you. If I do see him, I won't give him any of my rehearsed speeches. I don't even want to anymore."

"Sorry I shattered your boyhood idol," Chris said.

"He was more of a crush than anything," Trevor said. "A huge crush."

"I thought so."

"Does he look as good in person as he does on TV?"

"Better," Chris said. "He looks better."

Trevor lowered his forehead. "Why did it have to be him?"

Chris almost laughed. "Sorry."

Trevor peeked up. "The sex?"

A little reality mixed in with the lies. "The best sex of my entire life was with a Backstreet Boy," Chris said.

Trevor dropped his head and groaned.

Chris pet his hair. "It's okay. I'm sure it's not nearly as phenomenal as I remember it."

Trevor groaned some more.

"Any more crushes I can ruin for you?" Chris asked.

"That was the big one," Trevor said.

"It may be time for you to admit that you're bisexual," Chris said.

"I've never even kissed a guy."

"Ah, but you want to," Chris said.

"Do you want to? Kiss guys?"

"Sometimes," Chris said. When he was around Brian.

"I've wanted to kiss guys," Trevor said. "Ashley's gay, or maybe bi, but mostly gay... He's more gay than I am, and he's never been with a guy, either. Except Joey."

"Are you happy with women?" Chris asked. "Or would you like to see how the other half tastes?"

Trevor laughed. "I'm curious. I'd like to... I'd like to know what it's like. It's in me, that interest in men, that sexual attraction."

Chris's phone rang. "Shit, ignore it," Chris said.

"No, go ahead," Trevor said.

"No, we're talking."

"Go ahead," Trevor said.

"Okay. Sorry. Trevor's Love Shack, how may I help you? What? Kevin who? I'm sorry, I don't know anyone by that name. What? No, I have no idea what you mean. What was that again? What? Sorry, I don't care anymore." Chris hung up.

"Kevin?" Trevor asked.

"I haven't heard from him in months," Chris said. "All of a sudden he wants to know where I am and what I've been doing. It's those little friends of his. They're afraid that their boyfriends are running off with your friends, so he thinks I must be running off with you, when any fool can plainly see that we're sitting right here and haven't moved in hours."

"If he broke up with you months ago, he has no right to call and find out who you've been seeing," Trevor said. "We're friends. You're allowed to have any friends you want."

"Go ahead, get it out of your system. Gloat. Go ahead."

"Kevin Richardson is jealous of me!" Trevor said. "Kevin's jealous of me! Kevin! Me! We're just friends, he has nothing to be jealous of, but he's jealous! Of me!"

"Do you want to meet him?" Chris asked.

"No. Yes. No. I don't know."

"I can introduce you, if you want. You can ask him for his autograph, and he'll see for himself that he has nothing to be jealous of, since we're just friends and you'll be drooling on his shoes."

"I wouldn't drool on his shoes," Trevor said. He plucked at a blade of grass. "How in love were you?"

"I've never loved anyone as much as I loved him," Chris said. "I'm still in love with him. If he wanted me back, I'd go. At the time, the hurt was so new I could walk away. But now that I've lived with the pain for this long, now that I've lived without him, I'd rather go back and feel that pain than be away from him feeling this pain."

"Why do you love him this much?" Trevor asked.

"He made me feel good about myself," Chris said.

"He treated you like shit, he used you and cheated on you, and that made you feel good about yourself?"

"When we were together, just the two of us, it was... It was good. I was in love with him, and I believed that he was in love with me. He acted like he was in love with me. The things he said to me, the way he touched me, that look in his eyes, he radiated pure love for me. And when we were together, we were best friends. We shared everything, or at least at the time I thought we were sharing everything. He gave me things, presents. We were so in love... And when someone loves you that much and treats you that well, you feel great about yourself. I've never been happier."

"I'm sorry," Trevor said. "After... After all of that, why are... If one Backstreet Boy did all of that to Ashley, I wouldn't start dating another one."

"I'm worried about the guys, and I don't trust any of the Backstreet Boys myself, but I don't want them to stop for me. It isn't a question of loyalty. If Joey's dick is happy rubbing up against Nick's, and that makes Joey happy, then he can go for it. Howie and Kevin are very different people, and Howie and JC as a couple seem very stable."

Trevor turned his hand and brushed Chris's fingers with his own.

"You're nothing like him," Chris said. Nothing like Kevin. Nothing like Brian. It was true, and he heard something soft and wondering in his voice.

"That's a compliment," Trevor said, and met Chris's eyes. "I want to meet him."

"Why?"

"He hurt you. I want to see him for myself, to see what kind of guy would do that to you."

"He's just...just a guy. People treat people like shit. It happens."

"It shouldn't happen to you."

"You're too serious," Chris said.

"You laugh too hard to hide the pain," Trevor said.

Chris was changing the subject before he could think about it. "Did you hear the one about the trapeze artist?" He was off and running. Trevor let him do it, this time, but Chris already knew that next time, there would be no escape. And maybe, scary as it was, that was a good thing. But for now, he babbled on as quickly and as insanely as he could, to keep Trevor at bay, to shield himself, to deny the weight of knowledge in those eyes. Trevor knew too much and felt too much, and that was a frightening, frightening thing.

Ashley took a shower to wash off sex.

Erik told Dan all about JC at the radio station.

Trevor said good-bye to Chris.

Jacob thought about Brian accepting a blowjob from Lance. Why? Why would Brian let Lance do that? Jacob would never let Lance do that. Brian must have had a good reason. Or, no. Brian was a Backstreet Boy, and Backstreet Boys didn't need a good reason to do shit. Backstreet Boys got whatever they wanted in that moment, and screw everything else. If a Backstreet Boy wanted to get off, he'd use anyone he wanted. Even a guy. Even a member of *NSYNC.

Jacob knew some of the things it took to get ahead, and playing it straight was one of those things. Anyone trying to get a record deal knew that. Everyone made sacrifices, and everyone made choices. Ashley had known, like he had known, walking into this situation, that he'd have to live a strictly heterosexual life indefinitely. Until now, Ashley had had the self-discipline to follow through on that commitment. Obviously, no one in *NSYNC or the Backstreet Boys had that kind of discipline. Even Brian was straight yet twisted enough to get head from Lance.

Jacob was disgusted.

He should have known.

*NSYNC and Backstreet couldn't scrape up one strong ethic between them.

At least, nothing besides, "Me first."

Lance picked up his phone. "Hello."

"Lance, it's Howie."

Lance blinked. "Howie?" he asked, his voice coming out shocked and high.

"I was wondering if you could come over this afternoon."

Come over? During the daytime, like they had a real relationship, instead of creeping over in the middle of the night? Not that the sex wasn't fantastic, but it would be great to spend real time with Howie. They hadn't actually talked in such a long time... Lance rushed to answer before the offer could be rescinded. "Sure, of course, I'd love to." Trying to compensate for that last squeak of Howie's name, he overshot it, and his voice came out low and thick. Hell. He hadn't sounded this weird since his voice had changed. He always acted like a complete idiot around Howie.

"Great," Howie said. "We're trying to get everybody together to talk about our plans."

Wait. What? This was a group meeting? This, fuck. "Yeah?" Lance asked, since Howie seemed to be waiting for a response.

"How's half an hour from now?" Howie asked.

"That's fine," Lance said. Damn it. He wanted to be alone with Howie. He didn't want another group meeting and all of that damned tension. Chris would freak out, Justin would disappear into himself, JC would act like Nick was his whole reason for living, Joey would have a damned hard-on the whole time... He had to wonder if this was really worth it.

"Great," Howie said. "I can't wait to see you."

Oh, yeah. It was worth it.

Justin drove by Kevin's house, drove past a few more times, drove away, got halfway home, turned around and went back, hovered around the neighborhood, and finally drove up. He sat in the driveway for a few minutes. He got out and walked up to the door.

He rang the bell.

No one answered.

What if Kevin was home, but knew it was him and wasn't answering the door on purpose?

Justin had broken into Kevin's house before. He could do it again.

No, Kevin probably had changed the security codes since then.

So the police would come. So what? Justin Timberlake being arrested for breaking into Kevin Richardson's home. So what?

It could be like it had been last time. He'd get to be in Kevin's home again. Eating Kevin's food in Kevin's kitchen. Watching Kevin's TV on Kevin's sofa. Taking a shower in Kevin's bathroom with Kevin's soap and Kevin's shampoo. Sleeping in Kevin's bed on Kevin's sheets where Kevin slept. Trying on Kevin's clothes from Kevin's closet. Playing Kevin's CD's on Kevin's stereo. He'd visited every room in the house, touching all of Kevin's things, pretending that he was allowed to, pretending that he belonged there, too. He'd lived there all weekend.

Kevin had come home and found him there in the bedroom, watching TV. Kevin had almost hit him. Could have hit him. He wouldn't have cared. It might have made him feel better. But Kevin hadn't hit him, just tried to kick him out. Kevin had been furious, shouting at him, so angry... He'd started to leave, but Kevin had yelled at him, and he'd remembered that he was still wearing Kevin's clothes. So he'd taken them off, and tried to scramble into his own clothes, but Kevin had grabbed him and pushed him down on the bed and fucked him for a long, long time, so long that by the end it was almost like making love.

Then Kevin had literally kicked him out of the bed, hard enough to hurt, and told him to get out. He'd put his clothes back on and gone home. He'd stolen a monogrammed Cross pen and a small throw pillow on his way out the door.

He could go in now if he knew the security codes. He'd only had them last time because when he'd been in Kevin's house a few weeks earlier he'd gone through Kevin's desk and found the current codes and the previous two. The current one had been Nick's birth date; the previous two had been AJ and Howie's.

That might mean...

No, no, it had been too long ago. It would be something completely different by now.

But what if...?

Justin pulled out his cell phone and dialed.

"Kirkpatrick."

"Chris, what's Brian's birthday?"

"February 20, 1975."

"Zero two two zero seven five?"

"Yeah."

"Thanks." Justin hung up. He wanted to be inside Kevin's home.

Howie had called and asked him to come over. JC didn't like that the closer he got to Howie's place, the more his heart pounded. The desire-filled love in Howie's eyes wasn't real; the soft wanting in Howie's voice wasn't real; the slow burn of Howie's touch wasn't real. Everything was for show, for Erik. It was false. It was a role that Howie played. Howie's kisses, soft and full as they were, didn't mean anything. He only got to touch Howie's body because Howie was gracious enough to allow him that privilege; he wasn't Howie's lover. He shouldn't want to be Howie's lover.

There were other cars in Howie's driveway, including Chris's and Joey's. JC got out of his own car, both relieved and disappointed that this was a group meeting, not a private one.

Lance pulled up behind him. They looked at each other, not knowing what to say. In silence they walked to the front door together, and JC rang the bell.

JC ran his hand through his hair, realized what he was doing, and stopped. Then he realized that if it were a group meeting, Nick would be there, and he ran both hands through his hair, untangling the waves. He didn't know if Nick liked his hair this long or not. He'd ask.

"You're hopeless," Lance muttered. JC glanced at him; Lance was looking at the door. Lance smiled and corrected himself. "We're hopeless."

They were. All five of them. JC smoothed one of Lance's stray hairs for him, because he knew that Lance wanted to look as good in front of Howie as JC did in front of Nick.

Howie opened the door. "Come in."

No greeting kiss. Right. JC shouldn't have expected one. That was for show, for Erik. That wasn't real. JC walked in, and Howie led them to the front room. Chris, Joey, Kevin, and AJ were there. Chris and Kevin were talking about Trevor; AJ was waiting for Howie to get back; Joey was watching AJ. Judging from Joey's silence and the horny "I'm not worthy" look on his face, Joey had tried to hit on AJ and had been rejected. JC took a seat beside him. Lance sat beside Chris. Howie went to answer the door.

Nick came in next. JC was proud of himself for not flinging himself at Nick and begging to be taken back. Instead, he pretended to tuck his hair behind his ear and feigned interest in Chris and Kevin's conversation. Nick asked Joey how things had gone with Ashley, and JC smiled at nothing, burning with jealousy inside.

"Have either of you heard from Justin?" Howie asked JC and Lance.

"No," JC said.

"He hasn't answered his phone, either at home or his cell," Howie said. "Try again for me." He went to answer the door.

JC wasn't Howie's servant, but he found himself getting out his phone and dialing anyway, giving Howie's ass a surreptitious glance.

Justin didn't answer.

Brian came in. Maybe it was because he and Lance were working together over Jacob, or maybe it was because Lance was sitting right beside Chris and it was Brian's mission in life to kill Chris slowly and painfully, but he stopped and said hello to Lance. JC had noticed that as soon as Brian had walked in, Chris's voice had cracked, and then Chris's conversation started wandering. When Brian touched Lance's hair, Chris lost the thread entirely and just stopped talking.

"When we're finished here, come over to my place and we'll talk some more about what to do with Jacob," Brian said.

Was Lance blushing? "Yeah," Lance said.

JC looked at Chris. He was dead white.

"Everybody's here," Howie said, and Brian went to go sit on the armrest of Nick's chair.

"Everybody except Justin," AJ said.

"He's busy," JC said. "We can't all drop everything and run just because a Backstreet Boy calls." His voice hesitated at the end, and inside he burned with shame. He had dropped and everything and he had run, just because a Backstreet Boy had called. They all had.

"You want to lead?" Howie asked Kevin.

Kevin leaned forward. "Howie's hosting a private party at the club on Thursday. It won't be as middle-America as O-Town's party, or as desperate to prove something as Justin's. We're all going to be there."

"All of us?" Joey asked. "When are all five of us from one group all at the same event, much less all ten of us?"

Kevin ignored Joey. "Howie will invite Erik, and Chris will invite Trevor. Justin and Joey will plant ideas in Dan and Ashley's heads, suggesting that they want them to be there but can't invite them because of AJ and Nick. Chris will tell Trevor to bring the rest of the group. Dan and Ashley will go, and we're counting on them dragging Jacob along."

"Chris can't take O-Town into a private party," Lance said.

"That's why the bouncers will have instructions not to let them in. Brian's going to rescue them from their humiliation."

"And then we spend the evening mindfucking them?" JC asked.

"Yes," Kevin said.

"And you called us all to get us to come the whole way over here for this?" JC asked.

"I would have explained it over the phone if you'd said you were busy," Howie said gently, sweet as ever.

Where was Justin?

Justin hadn't been inside Kevin's home for a long time. Kevin had an aquarium now. He fed Kevin's fish and wondered if Kevin had named them. He unloaded Kevin's dishwasher, which gave him a good opportunity to investigate Kevin's kitchen. He went to Kevin's bedroom and looked in Kevin's closet, going through Kevin's drawers, trying on shirts, testing cologne, pocketing jewelry.

Justin wasn't a kleptomaniac by any means. He'd never stolen anything in his life that wasn't Kevin's. Everything else in the world he could do without, but he had to have Kevin's things. If he couldn't have Kevin, at least he could own even a piece of Kevin's life.

They all sat there, strategizing as a whole and in smaller groups. Then Brian got up and left, and Lance went with him. AJ, who was mad that Justin hadn't shown up, left. Nick, who seemed amused that Joey was lusting that hard after someone who had blown him off, invited Joey back to his place.

JC watched his best friend walk out with the love of his life.

Gentle fingers in his hair. Howie had circled around the back of the couch. "Don't worry about it," Howie said. "It's just business."

Yes, but what was between JC and Howie was just business, too, and if Nick and Joey's business was anything like Howie and JC's business...

"Go home," Howie said. "I'll call you tomorrow after I talk to Erik." Howie stopped that soothing twining in his hair, and JC stood.

"Let him stay," Kevin said. "You know he wants to."

Shocked anger flashed red in JC's brain. He did not want to! He didn't. Hell, he did. He wanted to stay. He wanted Howie. Howie wasn't Nick, and JC wasn't fully, adoringly, hopelessly in love with Howie the way he was with Nick. But he wanted Howie, and he was so confused about wanting Howie that he thought he might be a little in love.

Howie leaned over the back of the sofa, and JC leaned forward, and Howie kissed him, full on the mouth, lingering over the taste of him. "We can't," Howie said. "We're both bottoms."

Howie was a... Then Lance... JC had a whole new level of respect for Lance. He'd known that Lance was a top, but he'd assumed... Suddenly he wondered about AJ and Joey. He never had bought the idea of Joey bottoming for AJ.

"Since when?" Kevin asked.

Howie smiled. JC felt hot inside. "That's what I told Lance."

"JC will keep your secret for you," Kevin said.

Howie was a top, a serious top from the disbelief of Kevin's "Since when?", but Lance thought he was a bottom. Howie was a top, and he'd let Lance fuck him? What wouldn't these people do for the sake of manipulation? What else had they done or said that had been believed?

Besides "I love you."

Howie gave JC a warm smile. "I'll call you tomorrow."

JC backed up, wishing Kevin weren't there, wishing Chris hadn't witnessed this scene, wishing he had access to Howie's body and Howie's bed.

He was going to keep Howie's secret.

He knew something about Howie that Lance didn't know.

Or did he? Had that been an impromptu manipulation staged for his benefit? Maybe Howie really was a bottom, and they were jerking JC around because they could.

JC wanted to close his eyes and open them in another reality, where he could be naked under Nick's touch and nothing else mattered.

Kevin was slightly broader than he was, with a little more bulk of muscle, but they were close to the same size. Justin put on Kevin's undershirt, right against his skin, and then put on a flannel shirt over it, leaving it open, walking around the house barefoot in his underwear and Kevin's shirts. A pair of Kevin's underwear was in the pocket of his jeans, back in the bedroom.

He made himself a bowl of cereal - - Kevin's cupboards, Kevin's refrigerator, Kevin's spoon and bowl and milk and Frosted Flakes - - and curled up on the sofa, flipping channels.

It felt good to be here. In Kevin's house, among Kevin's things. He could pretend that he belonged here, that he lived here, that he was a part of Kevin's world. Kevin loomed so large over his world, it seemed horribly backward that he felt like he had no affect on Kevin's world whatsoever.

If they'd ever had a real relationship, if he'd ever meant as much to Kevin as Kevin had meant to him, he might live here now. This would be their home, their TV, their Frosted Flakes. They'd make love on this sofa. Kevin would fuck him there, against that wall, holding onto his hips and panting "I love you" into his ear. He'd have grip bruises the next day, under his clothes, and he'd mention it during dinner and Kevin would strip him naked and give him head right there on the kitchen table, licking the finger marks and telling him he was loved.

And then pigs would fly. But it was a nice fantasy.

He sniffed Kevin's shirt. It smelled good.

When he was finished eating, he took his bowl and spoon back to the kitchen. He visited the fish. He burrowed deep into Kevin's bed and touched himself. He kicked off his underwear and came on Kevin's sheets. Then he got up and stripped the bed, carrying the soiled sheets to the washing machine and re-making the bed with sheets he found in the hall closet.

While he started the washing machine, he made mental note of the detergents and fabric softener Kevin used, so he could get his own clothes to smell like Kevin's.

Was someone driving up outside? Justin pulled on his underwear, jeans, socks, and sneakers, snatching up his own shirt, patting his pockets to make sure he had everything. Time to go. He'd sneak out the back, and as soon as Kevin was inside he'd jump in his car and escape. Kevin must have seen his car, so Kevin would know that he was here, but if he could get out without encountering Kevin, he'd be fine.

"Justin!"

Shit. But the house was big, and Kevin didn't know where he was. Justin ducked and ran for the kitchen. He could do it. Out the back, out the back, out the-

He was grabbed from behind and jerked back. He tried to yank free and run, but Kevin's grip was too tight on his arm.

"Wait in the living room," Kevin said. "I'll be right with you."

Justin didn't understand until he heard retreating footsteps. Someone else was here. He hadn't given any thought to the idea that Kevin would be with someone else. Friend? Lover? Man? Woman? Someone who knew Kevin's body? Someone - - someone who'd call the tabloids?

Justin realized what the hell he'd just spent his night doing.

He threw up Frosted Flakes on Kevin's clean tile floor.

Kevin's voice was right behind his ear. "What are you doing here?"

It was rude, but his mouth tasted foul, and he'd already messed up Kevin's kitchen, so Justin spat. "If I can't see you, this is the next best thing."

"How did you get in?"

He would always love the sound of Kevin's voice. It would always make him shiver. "Brian's birthday."

"What kind of cheap, sick thrill do you get out of criminal behavior?"

"What kind of cheap, sick thrill do you get out of encouraging me?"

Kevin shoved him; it was so unexpected Justin stumbled forward, slipping slightly in his own vomit. He grabbed at the wall and a chair, righting himself, turning to face Kevin.

Oh, god. Kevin. Really Kevin, truly Kevin, too cold and too beautiful. Kevin was too hard inside and too gorgeous outside. Justin lowered his eyes immediately. It wasn't safe to look. He'd already learned that lesson.

"Do I hear my washing machine?" Kevin asked.

"I came on your sheets, so I'm washing them. I re-made the bed for you."

"How considerate."

He could feel Kevin looking at him, looking at his body, looking at him trying to become invisible. He tried not to remember the quick burn of white, black, and green he'd caught before dropping his gaze. The green of Kevin's eyes was inconstant, and when Kevin was aroused, they were hot emerald. Justin tried not to remember.

"What did you steal from me this time?"

"Nothing close to what you've taken from me."

"I didn't take anything you weren't handing me on a silver platter. That includes your heart, your body, your innocence, and your dignity."

He'd had dignity at some point? He could barely remember what that had been like. "I fed your fish. Do they have names?"

"No."

"Can I name them?"

"No. Clean this up. And take off my clothes." Kevin walked out of the kitchen.

After feeding the man's pets, doing his laundry, and unloading his dishwasher, mopping his kitchen floor wouldn't be that much of a stretch. Justin got to work.

When he was finished, he snuck into the hallway and listened. Voices.

Chris!

Chris?

They were talking about Trevor.

Trevor had a crush on Kevin.

Justin wanted to backhand Trevor across the mouth. Trevor didn't know anything about wanting Kevin. Trevor had no idea what it was like, what it meant, to love Kevin.

He waited until they finished talking. Chris left.

"Justin," Kevin said.

Justin walked to the foyer where Kevin was waiting for him.

"Empty your pockets."

Justin did. In the end he held black boxer-briefs, a comb, a silver bracelet, a diamond earring stud, and a Swiss army knife.

Kevin took them all from him and set them on the table.

Justin wanted them back, but he didn't say anything.

"Take off my clothes."

Justin took off Kevin's shirts and handed them over.

Kevin plucked at his nipple.

Somehow, that was the most degrading thing that had happened all night, for Kevin to touch him that intimately and that carelessly, without invitation. No matter what else, Justin still deserved to be treated like a human being, not an animal.

"Sex is sex," Kevin said. "It doesn't mean anything unless you're in love. I don't love you. Sex with you means nothing to me."

He knew that Kevin wanted him. That was why Kevin got hard from just a kiss. That was why Kevin had screwed him again. At least, that was what he kept trying to tell himself.

"If I want you," Kevin flicked his other nipple, sending a shock of pleasure and shame through him, "I will call you. Otherwise, I don't want to see you."

"Are you going to fuck him?"

"Who, Chris?"

Justin steeled himself and looked at Kevin. "Trevor."

A slow, unpleasant smile. "Are you jealous?"

"He doesn't love you like I do."

"Do you love me, Justin?"

His stomach twisted with it. His blood surged with it. "Yes."

"Are you going to fuck Dan?"

The question took Justin by surprise. "I don't know."

"Are you going to fuck AJ?"

"I don't know."

"How can you say you love me if you're going to be with other men?"

"It isn't about that. That's not love, that's just sex. I don't want them."

"If you loved me, you wouldn't be with anyone else."

"I do love you." He loved so fiercely, how could Kevin question it? How could Kevin doubt him?

"If you love me, you won't be with anyone else." Kevin's hard stare hurt him. "No one."

His pride demanded to know why he should save himself for Kevin if Kevin didn't want him. His common sense demanded to know how their great evil plot was going to work if AJ and Dan couldn't touch him. But Justin shoved all of that down again. His heart was faithful to Kevin, and his body would be, too. "No one."

Kevin picked up the silver bracelet and dropped it into Justin's palm. "Get out."

Justin clutched the bracelet in his fist and kissed Kevin's mouth. Kevin tolerated it, kissing him back, rubbing his ass with one lazy hand. They were the same height, and every time Justin leaned down to kiss a girl he remembered the first time Kevin had kissed him, and how they'd lined up from head to toe, and how new that had been.

The slow twist of Kevin's tongue had Justin moaning. He shifted slightly and put his hand to the bulge of Kevin's hard-on, massaging it, wondering how far Kevin would let him go tonight.

Pretty damned far, as it turned out.

Continue on to part four...

matthew@matthewtime.com
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