Copyright May 2-8, 2004 by Matthew Haldeman-Time
Rating: NC-17
Pairing: Sam/Toby
Disclaimer: "The West Wing," with its related characters and themes, does not belong to me. I make no money from this venture.
Notice: "Morning After" series, story one, Sam/Toby.
Last night. Working on the State of the Union. Alone with Sam in his office, working, talking, thinking, writing. Sam with his shirtsleeves rolled up, his hair not-so-perfect, rubbing his eyes. Telling Sam to go home; Sam refusing; calling security; Sam finally relenting and leaving. Working for another hour or two, missing his favorite sounding board, going home.
He’d been about to fall into bed when Sam had shown up suddenly, bursting with energy, riding high on a streak of brilliance. Sam had given him a solid paragraph and then the sentences had flowed like wine. And then…and then…
Toby reached over and smacked the alarm clock silent.
“Hmm.” Sam rolled onto his other side, clinging to sleep. Toby could see the firmly defined muscles in his arm. A small, flat nipple, mouth-wateringly pink. Below the sheets, there was more, a lot more, and the details flooded Toby’s hungry, amazed mind.
One startlingly blue eye opened. Sam had just remembered where he was.
Toby tried to smile, and failed horrifically.
“Toby,” Sam said, pushing himself up a little.
Toby didn’t know what the protocol was for this situation. He didn’t know what Sam was thinking. Was this just another one-night stand for Sam? A favor for a friend? A good working relationship gone awry? How much of what had been done and said last night meant anything now in the morning’s light?
“I’m going to need you to say something,” Sam said. “So I’ll have something to go on, before I make too much of an ass of myself.”
“Thank you,” Toby said, and cleared his throat. “For last night.”
“Okay. I’m going to have to make an ass of myself,” Sam said, like he could see his own impending doom. “I hope you won’t think less of me for this.”
Just as Toby was wondering what Sam was about to do, Sam leaned in, all sculptured cheekbones and dark lashes, and then oh. Toby remembered this from last night.
It was impossible not to moan when being kissed by Sam, so Toby permitted himself a few vocalizations of the lush, sexual pleasure being visited upon his person. Sam’s hand was on his arm, then on the back of his neck, fingers sliding up into Toby’s hair. Toby didn’t dare touch Sam back, because that was what had gotten them into this situation in the first place. Once he’d started touching back last night, he hadn’t been able to stop touching, and very mind-bending things had happened. And, if he remembered correctly, he’d gotten a little…pushy.
“Fuck me,” Sam breathed into his mouth. “Fuck me, Toby, fuck me.”
Toby jerked back, breaking their kiss.
“Or not,” Sam said, withdrawing his hand. “My, my mistake. Too fast.” He touched the knuckle of his thumb to his lips. “Do you want me to go?”
In the back of his mind, and in the cold of night in the forefront of his mind, Toby was going to live off of last night forever. “Yes.”
Sam nodded. “Okay.” He moved as if to leave the bed, then paused, hesitating. Thinking. He looked at Toby again. “Toby. Do you really want me to go?”
He’d lied to Sam before, in the office, and it always ended up making him feel ugly inside. If he lied to Sam now, it would be for Sam’s own good, but he couldn’t bring himself to be that big a man. “No,” he admitted. “No, I don’t want you to go, but I think that you should, anyway.”
Sam smiled quickly, eagerly, then tried to stifle his enthusiasm. “I can stay,” he offered. “I want to stay, I’d like to stay.”
“Sam…” Toby couldn’t take this. Sam meant more to him than anyone. He was in love with Sam’s every word, move, and glance. He was in love with every thought in that busy head. He was in love with the way Sam looked, but he could hardly be blamed for that. He was in love with everything about Sam, but more than that, he was in love with Sam, and had been for a long time now. Years now. Years.
He knew he hadn’t said it last night. He hadn’t let himself. Not even when…
Toby closed his eyes, pinching the bridge of his nose, letting out a controlled breath. “Sam.”
“The second I get out of this bed, you’re going to make sure I never get back in it, aren’t you?” Sam asked, like he already knew the answer.
“That would seem like the best course of action, yes,” Toby said, lowering his hand and opening his eyes. Sam was sitting straight up, but turned to face Toby, his back to the side of the bed.
“Then I won’t leave,” Sam said with quick determination. “I won’t leave. I’ll stay here.”
“How are you going to do your job from here?” Toby asked. The sheet was around Sam’s waist, but everything from the waist up was exposed, and that meant that Toby’s gaze had to travel a lot of naked flesh to get to Sam’s eyes. Taut abs, firm pecs, broad shoulders. His tongue could remember the feel and shape of those nipples. He’d kissed Sam’s neck last night. Licked it. Even sucked on it. He remembered Sam arching under him, Sam’s-
“You know, for most people, the first question would have been about how I intend to get to the bathroom,” Sam said.
“The notion that I’m most people should have been banished from your thoughts before now, Sam.”
Sam smiled.
Toby had long ago suppressed the heart palpitations that occurred when Sam smiled at him like that, but they’d returned during the night.
“You can bring me my laptop,” Sam said. “I’ll write from here, you can e-mail me from the office, and we can even work together in person when you come home.”
“And when Leo calls and tells you to get your ass to his office?” Toby asked.
Something almost like fear flickered across Sam’s face at the very idea of Leo’s wrath, but then Sam leaned forward, eyes full of that desperate determination that arose when Sam was hell-bent on making something happen when all signs indicated that he was going to lose. “If I leave, you won’t let me come back.” As though what Leo or even the President wanted had to be pushed aside in the face of this one truth. As though that one fact outweighed everything.
“You can’t come back, Sam. You can’t.”
“Then I can’t leave,” Sam said, and then he was too close again, and his tongue was licking into Toby’s mouth. Sam kissed too well, had a too-clever tongue, knew too many techniques that probably had names, like the Doerhauser Tongue Twist. But, as Toby had discovered last night, if Toby kissed back hard enough and took just a little bit of Sam’s control away, Sam would give up, moaning, and let Toby own his mouth, would kiss back like hormones, not intellect, were in charge.
The sound of Sam moaning, helpless little moans, overwhelmed throaty moans, stroked pure sex straight up into Toby’s brain. He kicked free of his inhibitions and put his hand on Sam’s back, leaning his body forward. Sam’s skin was warm, living silk under his hand as he bore Sam down to the mattress. Even with the sheet tangled between their bodies, when Toby pressed his hips to Sam’s, he could feel the rigid length of Sam’s erection. Sam groaned, rocking up against Toby, and Toby kissed Sam harder, his own erection hard and throbbing.
Now that he’d put one hand on Sam, he couldn’t let go. Toby slid his hand down to the small of Sam’s back, pulling Sam’s hips up to his own. His other hand flattened itself against Sam’s abdomen, sliding up, up, over smooth, taut flesh, until he found a nipple. Twisting Sam’s nipple gently, Toby kissed him through breathless moans.
“To, Toby.” Sam was panting, skin flushed, grinding up against him a little desperately. “Oh god, oh, god… I can’t, I’m going to, oh god…” Sam moaned, hands running across Toby’s chest, leaving burning heat in their wake. “Toby…”
Sam was on the verge of orgasm, but it wasn’t time for that yet. Toby hadn’t nearly had close to enough yet. Toby lifted his hips from Sam’s. Sam’s hips rose from the bed, automatically wanting to close any distance between their bodies, but Toby pushed him back down again. Sam was breathing too fast, shallow little gasps for air, his body moving restlessly, his hands reaching for Toby. Sam pulled on Toby’s arms, shoulders, tugging him back down, closer, closer.
Sam was beautiful, his mouth kissed red, need in his eyes. Toby kissed him slowly, gently, drawing aside the sheet from between them. When Toby eased the weight of his body onto Sam, Sam moaned with pleasure, knees coming up, strong thighs hugging Toby’s hips. Sam’s kiss was hungry, eager, his hands roaming Toby’s broad back, his nails digging in slightly as he clutched Toby’s ass. Toby rocked against him, finding a harsh rhythm, kissing his gorgeous mouth, fingers threading through his thick hair.
Toby had dreamed about this moment, had fantasized over it. Thinking of Sam this way, thinking of having Sam this way - - the idea, the image, had haunted his days and warmed his nights until he’d become almost obsessed with it. And here it was, now, Sam beneath him, naked, aroused, breathing hard and moaning his name. His kisses had bruised Sam’s mouth, his sweat shone on Sam’s skin, his hands had made their way over every inch of flesh.
Sam twisted under him, saying his name faster, tone edged with desperation. Toby lifted his head enough to look into Sam’s face, watching as Sam’s expression became tight with ecstasy. Sam groaned, hips driving upward, hands clutching Toby’s sides. Hot, sticky cum spurted between their bodies, wetting Toby’s stomach, and Sam shuddered, breathing Toby’s name.
Their eyes met. Sam caught his breath a little unsteadily, swallowing, his hands drifting from Toby’s body. He licked his lips, hesitated, then rolled over, offering his perfect body.
Toby’s heart began to beat in odd patterns, dick hard and aching, as he reverently touched Sam’s naked back. He cupped the tight swell of Sam’s ass with one hand, gently kneeing Sam’s thighs further apart. Knowing where to look, he could see the fading imprint of his teeth in Sam’s shoulder from last night.
Sam raised himself onto his elbows, legs splayed, head tilted down.
Toby ran his fingers through Sam’s hair, kissing the back of Sam’s neck. Sam shivered. Last night, this had been the moment when Sam had whispered, “I love you, Toby.” This morning, Sam shivered a little but said nothing. Toby let himself taste Sam’s skin, denying himself the right to groan with pleasure as he lowered himself onto Sam’s body, his erection nestling in the curves of Sam’s ass.
Sam shivered again. Toby watched over his shoulder as he dug his fingers into Toby’s pillow. Toby kissed Sam’s shoulder and began to move, rocking his hips, his dick finding an easier slide as it drooled precum over the cleft of Sam’s ass and the small of Sam’s back.
Riding Sam’s body, Toby kept his eyes open, filing details for later. The arch of Sam’s spine. The muscles in Sam’s back. The tiny mole below Sam’s right shoulder. Sam began to move back against him, ass rubbing into Toby’s groin, almost in invitation.
No, it was an invitation. Sam wanted it. Sam was asking for it.
He could hear it even now, Sam’s voice, full of desire, breathy but impossibly sure. “Fuck me. Fuck me, Toby, fuck me.” Fuck Sam? Fuck Sam. To have use of this beautiful man’s body, to take his pleasure from it, to thrust inside it and make Sam beg. Sam was moving under him, rocking back into him, back arched, head up, wanton, sexual. Moaning, overcome, grinding his hips down, Toby came, his hands on Sam’s hips keeping Sam tight to him. The sound of his own rough groans of pleasure were embarrassing to Toby’s ears, but then the sight of his cum splattering thick and white over Sam’s ass and back gripped his mind.
He’d come on Sam. It was almost a ritual marking of his property. And wasn’t that only right? Sam was his, his more than anyone else’s. Sam was in his bed. Sam had reached orgasm under his body.
Toby reached down, his hand moving almost independently, and touched his cum. Rubbed it into Sam’s skin.
A fine tremor raced over Sam’s body.
Toby moved to the left, resting on his side, breaking all physical contact. Sam shifted to face him, and as Toby propped his temple on one fist, his gaze lingered on Sam’s body.
“Toby,” Sam said.
The first time he’d ever looked at Sam, he’d seen how beautiful Sam’s face was. So beautiful it could be called perfect. Then Sam had begun to speak, and quickly it had become clear that Sam’s mind was as beautiful as his face. After seeing Sam shirtless, and in shorts, he’d been able to confirm that Sam’s body was as perfect as Sam’s face. And now that he’d seen the entirety of Sam, he could satisfy his curiosity and know that, yes, what Sam’s shorts had covered was as perfect as the rest of him. It was like a perfectly formed Greek statue had wakened in Toby’s bed. “Why are you here?”
“What?” As Toby’s gaze travelled up from Sam’s groin to Sam’s face, Sam shook his head. “Why am I here?”
“If you were going to take this risk, why aren’t you in Josh’s bed?”
“Josh?” Sam sounded as confused as he looked. He shook his head again. “Josh is my best friend, Toby, not my… I’m in love with you. I don’t even - - he’s Josh, he’s not you.”
“You understand that if you leave here, and come back, I’ll take that as a commitment. If you leave here and don’t come back, I’ll let it go. We can go back to work as if nothing ever happened, and last night will be the night that never was. But if you come back, I’ll have expectations. I’ll have demands. If you don’t want that, and God knows why you would, then you need to make that clear by never gracing my bed with your presence again.”
Sam’s smile was enthusiastic. “If I come back here tonight with my toothbrush in hand, would that be clear enough?”
“I think I can find an extra toothbrush here,” Toby said.
Sam moved closer, fingers running lightly over Toby’s chest. “What changed your mind?”
Toby gave in to his saccharine impulses and kissed just under the corner of Sam’s square jaw. Then he licked behind Sam’s ear, and Sam laughed. “Besides the fact that last night you gave me the first blowjob I’ve had in a very long time?”
“Oh, I can do that for you every day,” Sam said. “Twice a day if you close the blinds in your office.”
Toby gave Sam a look. Sam smiled warmly. Toby decided to brush that comment off as a joke, and brushed his thumb over Sam’s high cheekbone. “You make me experience emotions that other people don’t inspire in me.”
“I make you feel things you’ve never felt before,” Sam translated.
“Yes.”
Sam’s arm wound around his waist, bringing their bodies together. Sam leaned back slightly, pulling Toby forward slightly, giving Toby physical dominance as he asked, “Like what?”
Toby was impressed that Sam would give him an edge before asking that question. Smart, smart man, smart enough to manipulate him and make him grateful for it. “Like happiness.” Sam looked surprised; Toby touched Sam’s mouth with his thumb, remembering the lush sexuality there, promising himself that he’d sample it again. “Like possessiveness. Like an odd desire to protect and defend and even…nurture.” He cleared his throat. Sam looked receptive to anything he had to say, interested wholly in every word. “Like…love.” He swallowed. “I love you, yes, I’m in love with you, and it’s never been like this for me before. Take it how you will.”
A warm smile broke across Sam’s face. “I love you, Toby.” His mouth was generous, and his kisses clung as his hands stroked Toby’s neck and shoulders. “I love you and I’m coming back tonight.”
Toby cleared his throat again, glancing at the clock. Past time to leave. “We have to go.” They’d done great work last night, but there was still a lot to do. He remembered how he’d left things in the living room, papers scattered, notes everywhere, his laptop still on where he’d set it when…
“Toby.” Sam’s kiss
was soft on his lips, Sam’s eyes bright with amusement. “Thank you
for last night.”