Vanessa
Copyright November 15-18, 2000 by Matthew Haldeman-Time
Rating: NC-17 for graphic male-male sex involving a minor
Pairing (so to speak): Kevin Richardson/Nick Carter/Brian Littrell
Disclaimer: The young men who comprise the Backstreet Boys are their own people. The author has not met anyone here described, nor does the author mean to suggest that these people act this way in real life. This writing is a work of fiction. I make no money from this venture.
Dedication: Ewan McGregor, Savage Garden slashers, David.
Wherein there's a threesome (implied), incest (implied), and a minor (without question).
Notice: David said: How about a story where Nick is the new innocent young boy that Kevin takes under his wing to protect from the harsh reality of being gay. Kevin can torture himself for falling in love with a very young and confused Nick (14-16 years). Or is that not your style. What's your style/category of slash?
Oh, David, you give me too much credit. Once upon a time I had morals...
Then David said: How about Kevin teaching Nick how gay love works so that Nick can go after Brian. Lessons in kissing, licking, nipples, rimming, sucking... The list goes on. All first-hand experience. And in the *end* (take that two different ways) Nick can be stuck with deciding to try to get Brian or stay and keep Kevin...
Yes, the list does go on, indeed. I am living in the gutter, on my way to Satan's lair.
(First-hand experience.
Mm-hmm.)
AJ and Howie were supportive; first surprised and then accepting and, now, indifferent.
Brian, of course, wanted to help. Wanted to talk to Nick about it and make Nick feel more comfortable with it. But after two weeks of Brian's help, Nick was more uncomfortable with it than ever. Brian, realizing that something else needed to be done, went to his cousin.
Kevin scratched his temple. "What am I supposed to do?"
"Talk to him. Show him...I don't know, show him how to be gay."
"Brian, you can't show somebody how to be gay. There's no-"
"No, no, I know, I just..." Brian sighed. "Come on, Kevin. You know what I mean. He's confused, he doesn't know what he's doing. He's scared. And I'm too straight to help him on this one."
Kevin smiled a little. "Guess I'm not."
"I really want to be there for him, but it's not working."
"Trying to get him a date with the-"
"Yeah, yeah, I know, that was a really bad idea."
"You were just trying to help."
"But it didn't help. Maybe you can help."
Maybe Kevin could help.
He knocked on the open door to Nick's hotel room. "Got a second?"
Nick looked up from his notepad, setting it aside on the mattress. "Sure. What's up?"
Kevin entered, closed the door, sat beside Nick on the bed. "Guess what."
"What?" Nick asked with a tiny smile, curious.
"I'm here to give you the 'So you're a gay man' talk."
Nick turned red, looked away, fidgeted. "I'm not."
"You're not what? Not gay?"
"No, I...I'm gay," Nick said, voice shying away from that last word. "I'm not a man."
"Not now. You will be."
"So can we wait until then to talk about it?" Nick asked with a hopeful smile.
"Giving me the 'I'm so cute, do what I want' look doesn't work, Nick."
Nick grimaced. "Knew it. It works on Brian."
"That's because Brian's...Brian. I'm too old and too..."
"Too Kevin."
"Right. Come on, let me give you the talk."
Nick sighed, dropping down to lie on his back. "Okay. Give it to me."
Kevin had to smile, leaning back on his hands. "First lesson. Never say 'give it to me' to another gay man unless you mean it."
Nick turned red and put his hands over his face. "Oh god."
"It's okay. I'm sorry." He pried Nick's hands free. "Come on. Why don't you tell me what...what concerns you have."
"Concerns?" Nick asked. "Concerns? Kevin, I'm like terrified here."
"About what?" He stretched out on his side, resting on his elbow.
"I just... What am I supposed to do now?"
"Not much right now. For starters, you're a Backstreet Boy."
"Yeah. But you-"
"I'm older, I have more experience, I know what I'm doing. You don't yet. I got my different-guy-every-hour thing out of my system a while ago."
"It's a stage?"
"Some people never get out of it."
"So it's normal to..."
"To want every guy you see? It happens."
"You do that?"
"Want every guy I see? Depends who's in the room."
"It's okay to have a...boyfriend? As long as it's really really, what's the word, discreet?"
"It's a risk."
"You've done it. Michael and then Jean-Baptiste."
"It's hard. It's not as fun as it sounds, having a secret affair. You'll notice I'm single again. How discreet do you think you could be?"
"I could do it. I just don't...I mean, if you were dating a Backstreet Boy, wouldn't you want to tell somebody?"
"You trust yourself but not your potential boyfriend, whoever that is?"
"Yeah. That's a big thing, you know? This whole privacy secrecy thing. If anybody finds out I'm...you know...gay..."
"I know."
"I kind of liked Michael."
"I kind of liked him, too."
Nick turned a little pink. "He was cute."
Kevin smiled. "He was gorgeous."
"So you guys..." Nick's eyes roamed the ceiling.
"What?" Kevin asked patiently, wanting Nick to talk, wanting Nick to say it out loud.
"Did stuff."
"Did what stuff?"
Nick looked over at Kevin. "Come on, don't make me say it."
"Just try it."
"You had sex with Michael. Gay guy sex."
Kevin nodded. "Yes."
"God, now your eyes are twinkling at me. I'm making a fool of myself."
"No, you're not. You're being very cool with it. You want to ask me questions?"
"Well, yeah, but..." Nick squirmed.
"What do you want to know?"
"How to do this. How to...what am I supposed to be feeling? What do I do about it?"
"Feel whatever you want to feel. Be confused. Be horny. Be curious."
"I have your permission to want guys?"
"You have my permission."
"Good." Nick seemed relieved. "Because I sort of do."
"Sort of do what?"
"Want guys."
"You should. They're awfully cute sometimes." Nick giggled. "It's okay to want guys, Nick. You're gay. You're supposed to want them."
"I just get so..."
Nick was turning bright red all over again. "Horny?"
Redder now. Tiny, embarrassed voice, "Yeah."
"That's natural. You're fourteen. It'll probably get worse."
"It can get worse?"
"You'd be surprised. Wait until you actually start doing something."
"Can I...?"
"Anything."
Nick swallowed. "How'd you do it? Your first time?"
"How did I...?" Kevin frowned. He was sure that Nick wasn't asking that.
Nick blushed and backpedaled. "No, no, I meant, how'd you actually... What's it like? How'd you get started?"
"A guy hit on me. He was cute, and he was nice, and when he asked if he could kiss me, I said he could."
"Then what?" Nick was wide-eyed.
"Then he asked if he could do something else, and I said that he could."
Blue eyes got wider. "Holy... Your first kiss and you-"
"Not that. He wanted to...give me a blow job."
Nick turned red. "How old were you?"
"Seventeen."
"I can't wait that long."
"You could always try girls."
Nick shuddered. Kevin laughed.
Two days later, they were at a photo shoot. Waiting for the director to shoot AJ's scenes, Nick and Brian were standing by the food, talking. Kevin joined them briefly and noticed that Nick was distracted. He glanced over his shoulder and smiled. When there was a pause in the conversation, he glanced back again and then looked at Nick. "Cute, isn't he?"
Nick blushed.
"Who?" Brian asked.
"The make-up assistant guy," Kevin said.
"His name's Thomas," Nick murmured into his bottled water.
Brian looked. "He's cute?"
"You can't be that straight," Kevin said.
"No, I mean... He's okay," Brian said, puzzled, shrugging. "Nick's cuter."
Nick turned bright red and choked. Kevin stifled a laugh. Brian shrugged again and went back to his food.
Kevin knew that it was important for Nick to be able to talk, to be able to share this confusing new time with someone else. He made himself available, keeping an eye on Nick's reactions, giving Nick room to process and understand. Gradually, Nick stopped blushing every two seconds.
Nick was young. Very young. Confused. Curious. Horny. Very horny. Incredibly cute.
Kevin's mind tried to skip over the young and confused part to get to the horny and cute part. He kept reminding himself that this was Nick. Just Nick. Young and confused, his friend, his little brother. Wanting to stroke Nick's naked skin was entirely inappropriate.
Nick wasn't attracted to him, anyway.
Not that he was attracted to Nick. That would be wrong. W. R. O. N. G. Wrong.
Nick wasn't attracted to him, anyway. Nick was attracted to Brian. Brian was straight. Very cute and very friendly and very lots of other wonderful things, brimming over with exceptional qualities, but very, very straight.
Kevin figured that Nick's attraction to Brian was natural and probably not terribly serious. After all, Nick and Brian were together all of the time, and Nick was young and confused and latching onto something safe - - a first attraction, but one that wouldn't break his heart. Nick could try out new thoughts and feelings without being threatened. It was safe because it wasn't going anywhere.
Nick went from fourteen to sixteen. Still young. Less confused. Even hornier. He was hard a lot of the time, namely because he was around Brian a lot of the time. Kevin noticed his arousal but didn't say anything. And Kevin did not, did not, get hard knowing that Nick was hard. Did not get hard thinking about Nick's sweet young virgin dick swelling behind Nick's jeans, did not get hard thinking about how it must feel to Nick, thickening and throbbing between Nick's thighs, about how Nick might feel guilty for it, or might think of it as a naughty, dirty pleasure.... He just bought Nick a bottle of lubricant and did not get hard thinking about Nick spending all day half-hard and jerking off at night. Did not get hard thinking about Nick lying in bed, slender young fingers on pretty young cock, fantasizing about Brian.
Damn it. Brian was too old for Nick, and Kevin was older than Brian.
Nick burst into Kevin's hotel room and jumped on the bed.
"Thanks for knocking."
Nick was flushed and bright-eyed and half-hard. "Kevin, you have to help me, Brian said, he thinks he, what am I supposed to, can I do something about it?"
Kevin arranged himself more comfortably against the pillows. "Try again."
"Brian thinks he's bi."
Half of Kevin was screaming in protest, and the other half was shuddering with a shocking outburst of long-stifled desire. It took him a moment to find his voice. "He thinks?"
"Like, really thinks. Not like he wonders. He really, really thinks he's bi. He likes guys. Kevin, he likes guys. You have to help me."
"Help you what?"
"I want to seduce him."
"You what? Nick, no. You can't."
"Why not?"
"He's your best friend, he's...you work together, we're together all of the time, if you did something and it didn't-"
"It'll work, it will, I just don't know how to do it. I know he loves me."
"As a friend. As a brother."
"He could want me. He will. You don't think so? You don't...you don't think he'll want me?"
"Nick, everybody wants you, it's just-"
"Everybody? Really? You think so? Everybody? Like who?"
Nick's mood swings were entertaining. Exuberance to determinination to despair to ego-tripping curiosity. "You want names?"
"You want me?"
"What?"
"Do you? You said everybody."
"You're cute."
"You think Brian will want me?"
"If he really is bi."
"He is. You want me?"
"Nick-"
"You could show me. Teach me. Do it to me first, and I'll do it to Brian."
Kevin had nothing to say to that. It was the worst idea he'd ever heard. There were so many things wrong with what Nick had just said that he didn't know where to start.
"Come on. You seduce me and I'll seduce Brian."
One word sprang to mind, to lips. "No."
"You haven't gotten laid in forever, and I need to learn how to do it. I've never even kissed a guy. Just show me how."
"No."
"Please?"
"Get out of my room before I smack you."
"Jerk." Nick left. Kevin rolled over onto his stomach, gritting his teeth in anger, ignoring his erection.
Nick, being a mature young adult, alternately ignored Kevin and sent him sullen looks all through the next day. Kevin resolutely did not notice that a bad-tempered, sulking Nick was extremely attractive.
Brian, not knowing what had caused the friction between them, tried to comfort Nick, who sneered at Kevin over Brian's head and let Brian stroke his back.
That night, Kevin opened his room door. "What?"
"Let me in."
Kevin decided not to roll his eyes or slam the door; instead, he let Nick into his room. "What?"
"Close the door."
"Why?"
Nick pushed the door shut and locked it. "You need to have sex with me."
"I don't need to do anything with you."
"I know Brian will let me seduce him, I just don't know how to do it. I don't want to do it wrong and screw it up. It has to be perfect."
"You-"
"You've been with guys, you know what you're doing. Just show me."
"No! God, what's wrong with you?!"
"You said you want me."
"I did not! Nick-"
"I have to do this. I have to make it perfect for him. I have to do it, and I can't ask anybody else. Please, Kevin, come on. Just once."
"You're sixteen years old."
"So?"
"So you're too young!"
"The fuck I am!"
"Oh, that proved your maturity."
"Do you want me or not?!"
Kevin adopted Nick's sullen expression, tone, and vocabulary. "Fuck no!"
Nick's eyes narrowed. "Bastard. Fuck you." He slammed the door on his way from the room.
A week passed. Howie stayed out of Kevin's way; AJ raised his eyebrows in silent commentary; Brian frowned at Kevin a lot. Finally Kevin knocked on Nick's door.
The door unlocked and opened. Nick looked at Kevin with suspicion. "What do you want?"
"To apologize."
"Oh." Nick was taken aback. "Okay. Come on in."
Kevin entered, closing the door behind himself. When Nick's back was turned he quietly engaged the lock. "I'm sorry," he said, sitting beside Nick on the bed. "I reacted badly."
"No kidding."
"What you're asking for, I can't give you."
"Why not?"
He smiled gently. "Nick, stop pouting."
"Why?"
"I'm going to kiss you."
Nick's blue eyes went very round. "What? Really?"
"If you want me to."
Nick swallowed. "Sure. Why not?"
"Close your eyes."
"No. I want to watch."
"Close your eyes."
"What are you going to do?"
"Nick." He stroked Nick's cheek. Soft boy skin. "Close your eyes." Nick eyed him warily until dark blond lashes obediently lowered. "You might want to remember to breathe." Nick started to inhale shakily. Kevin smiled and tried to forget how hard he was, tried to forget that it was Brian Nick wanted, tried to forget that he was going to hate himself in the morning and for the rest of his life. He closed his own eyes, putting his lips to Nick's.
Soft. Uncertain. Kevin held himself back, kept it light. Then he said, "Nick?"
Nick looked at him.
"You've kissed girls. You know how to do this."
"It's not the same."
"It's even better. Kiss me like you kiss girls. Don't be scared. It's just me."
"That's what scares me," Nick said. Before Kevin could question that statement, Nick inhaled quickly and kissed him. Hard, fast, deep. Faster, more tongue. Damn. Hand in his hair, other hand on his shoulder, down his chest, on his side, on his hip. He put his own hand to Nick's nape and angled his head, delving deeper into Nick's mouth, swallowing Nick's moan.
Kevin resumed control, establishing his dominance, pushing Nick back a little. Nick's fingers tightened their grip on his hip, one hand reaching back to the mattress for balance. It was such an easy thing to reach under Nick's T-shirt and feel his way up Nick's ribcage.
Nick groaned and sank back, Kevin pursuing, licking inside his mouth. Nick tasted like toothpaste and cherries. Kevin wanted to taste him everywhere.
Nick's hand rubbed up Kevin's chest, then down again, restlessly, seeking. Up, then down, lower, and Nick made a small, shocked sound. Curious, eager fingers traced over the bulge of Kevin's erection, testing, learning.
"You like that?" Kevin asked, teeth catching Nick's lower lip. Nick squeaked and made an encouraging sound. "Want me to touch you there?" Nick's heartbeat accelerated under his palm. "Can I take off your clothes?"
"Thought you said...we weren't..."
"Do you want me to stop?" Kevin asked, truly wanting an honest reply. He searched Nick's gaze.
"Hell no," Nick said very fast, very firmly, and pulled his T-shirt off over his head. "Do me."
"Do you?"
"Fuck me."
"I can't."
"Why not?"
"We have to leave something for Brian."
Nick laughed.
"But I'll give you my fingers, if you want."
"I want. I want you. Do that."
"Okay." Kevin kissed him, one hand sliding down Nick's slender, heated body and inside Nick's boxers, closing over Nick's sex. Nick arched, head back, making an aching sound, cock throbbing eagerly against Kevin's palm.
"Oh god, oh god, oh god..."
"Sshhh," Kevin said. "Sshhh. It's okay."
"Oh god," Nick gasped, shuddering.
"Come on." Kevin let go of him, pulling his boxers down and off, exposing him entirely. Nick's body was long and slender, still developing. Mostly hairless, flushed from this liaison. Kevin kissed his sweet pink nipples, caressed his satin skin. "You want to come now?"
"No, no-"
"No?"
"I can hold it," Nick said desperately.
"Nick, I'm not going to get you off and leave. You can come as often as you want."
"Really?"
"Really."
"Oh thank god." Nick moaned at the touch of Kevin's fingers. He came hard and fast in spurts over his chest. Once he stopped shaking and could speak he asked, nervously, "Now what?"
"Now we clean this up. Be right back." Kevin kissed Nick quickly and went for the bathroom, rinsed off his hand, got a washcloth, avoided his gaze in the mirror. He returned to find Nick sitting up somewhat, licking a finger. When Nick noticed him, he was treated with a terribly embarrassed gaze. "How's it taste?"
Nick turned redder. "Not as bad as I thought."
He wiped Nick with the warm, damp cloth. "You may just learn to love it."
"You like it?"
"It's delicious."
"You...want..."
"To taste yours? Sure. I'll give you a blow job if you want."
Nick's cock twitched. "Oh."
"You want me to?" He kissed Nick's mouth.
"Hell yeah," Nick said, one hand coming to the back of Kevin's head.
Nick's shy-curious-bold moodswings weren't disturbing Kevin. He understood that Nick was experiencing something new, that Nick wasn't sure what was acceptable, wasn't sure how Kevin would react. Nick's kiss was demanding again, quick and deep, as Nick's fingers renewed their acquaintance with Kevin's erection. Nick's touch became greedier, bolder, rubbing more insistently.
"I wish my dick were that big."
"You haven't even seen it yet."
"I can tell."
"You're still growing. Don't worry about it."
"You think?"
"I'm sure."
"Is it okay now?"
"You have the prettiest body," Kevin said, kissing him, "and the prettiest dick."
"Pretty? I'm pretty?"
"Don't pretend, Nick. You know you're pretty."
Nick grinned. "Yeah, but I'm supposed to act like it offends me." Kevin rolled his eyes. "So can I see it?"
"If you want to."
"Kevin?"
"What." He batted away Nick's hand and shifted positions.
"Have you seen Brian naked?"
"Yeah." Shoes off, socks off, shirt off, on his knees.
"Wow."
"What?"
Nick blinked, shaking his head. "Right. You've seen Brian naked?"
"Yeah. You haven't?"
"No."
Kevin unbuttoned, unzipped. "You're waiting for me to tell you what my cousin looks like naked?"
"Yeah, sort of." Nick's eyes kept running over his body, lingering at his open fly but sliding off to other places, as well.
"Round muscles, cutest ass ever, thick cock. Okay?"
"Is yours bigger?"
"I think they're about the same."
"Oh god."
Kevin tugged down his jeans and boxers, off his long legs, dropping them to the floor.
"Oh. God."
Kevin held still, letting Nick reach for him. "You can touch me anywhere you want. It's okay."
"I don't know how."
"It doesn't matter how. You can't shock or disgust me, and I know you're not going to try to hurt me."
"What if I do it wrong?"
"You won't. Just touch me." He curled his fingers over Nick's, brought Nick's hand to his chest. "See what it's like."
"You're so hard."
"It's called muscle. You're used to girls."
"Do guys' nipples work like girls'?"
"Some of them. Everybody's different to some degree."
"What does your skin taste like?"
"Taste and see." It flitted across Kevin's mind that those words were part of a special church service, and that maybe this was the wrong context. Then Nick's sleek pink tongue lapped across his right nipple, and he knew that it was the perfect context.
"Am I doing okay?" Nick looked up at him hesitantly.
"Feels good."
Nick gave a relieved smile and licked his other nipple. "Kevin?"
"What?"
"I'm just gonna..." Nick's fingers passed up Kevin's cock. It jerked in eager response. "So hard. God I want one of those."
"One of those?"
"Can you just stay here and let me touch you forever?"
"Yeah. They can keep touring without us."
"Good." Nick kissed him. "Are you gonna come?"
"You want me to?"
"I want to watch."
"Okay."
"I want to make you come. Can I make you come?"
"Keep pulling on it like that and you will."
"Sorry."
"Felt good."
"Is this okay?"
"Oh yeah." Kevin canted his hips forward, sucking on Nick's tongue. Nick moaned, fingers working over his cock, Kevin's leaking pre-cum easing the ride. At the last moment Kevin broke the kiss and leaned back, deliberately displaying his mature muscular body to its best advantage, coming into Nick's hand. He waited for the world to stop spinning, listened to Nick's tremulous breathing, and opened his eyes.
"Holy shit."
Kevin stretched a little. "Thank you."
"For what?"
"The best orgasm I've had in a while."
Nick stared down at the jism in his hand. There were splatters of it over both of their bodies. "Wow."
"What?"
"I'm holding your cum."
"Yep."
"Can I taste it?"
"If you want. The sooner the better."
"Get it while it's hot?" Nick guessed. Kevin stopped laughing in time to watch Nick lap at his wrist delicately. "Damn," Nick said, and tasted more. "This is good. I like yours better than mine."
"You eat too much junk food."
"That matters?"
"Part of the taste comes from what you eat."
"Oh."
Kevin retrieved the washcloth, now cold, and wiped the two of them off again. "You want your blow job first, or my fingers?"
"Both."
"Fingers. You still have the lube I gave you?"
"It's almost all gone."
"I'll get you more. A nice new tube just for you and Brian."
Nick grinned and left the bed for his suitcase. Kevin watched. Such a slender, pretty boy body. All long, supple limbs, sleek torso, musculature beginning to develop. Sweet ass.
Nick returned, sitting before Kevin again. "Now what?" he asked expectantly.
"Have you touched yourself there?"
"Once. A little."
"And?"
"It was okay."
"You want me to?"
"Yeah."
He took the tube from Nick's hand. "Lay down. On your back, it's okay." He tugged up Nick's knees, spreading Nick's thighs as he did so. "Here." He reached for a pillow, fitted it beneath Nick's hips. "I'm going to go slowly so your body can adjust."
"I feel like I'm at the doctor's or something."
"Nick, if your doctor ever makes you feel as good as I'm going to, I want to meet him."
"If you say so."
"You don't trust me?"
"I don't see why it'll feel good."
"I told you about your prostate."
"I don't think I have one."
"I'll find it for you. When you tried this, what did you do? One finger?"
"Yeah. That was plenty."
"How far?"
"Just a little."
"Your prostate's only in about as far as the second knuckle."
"Yeah, but you have long fingers."
"If you want me to stop, tell me. I mean it."
"Go ahead. It's supposed to feel good. I want to feel good."
Kevin slickened his fingers. "Just one finger for now." He gently traced the tight pucker. "If you start to tense up, don't fight it."
"How many guys have you unvirgined?"
"You're not the first guy I've breached." He pushed against the tight muscle, feeling the heat clamp down on him. His cock throbbed, wanting to get in there, too. Nick breathed shallowly. "You feel so good."
"Really?" Nick asked breathlessly.
"Really." He worked his way deeper, then massaged the muscle, easing the passage. "You feel so good."
"So where's this magic spot?"
"You want to feel it?"
"Yeah."
"Give me a second." He twisted his finger, pushed, and crooked.
Nick's choked scream ended in a great gasp for air. Kevin rubbed the nub again, again, until Nick was starting to rock against his finger for the stimulation.
"You like that?"
"Don't stop."
"I won't."
"Do it more."
"Do what more?"
"Try another finger."
"Two?"
"Two. I want two. Give me more."
"Hold on."
"Can I come just from this?"
"It happens. I can't. Michael could."
"Really?"
"Yeah. It was so sexy." He pulled his finger free and worked in two now, stretching the muscle, triggering Nick's prostate. "You're already too sexy for your own good."
"I know," Nick panted.
Kevin laughed. "I thought you did."
"This feels so good. Why doesn't everybody do this?"
"Because what feels so good is having somebody's fingers up your ass."
"So?"
"That turns off people."
"They're stupid."
"I know. Hey, hey," he said gently, free hand capturing Nick's fingers. "Not yet."
"I want to come."
"I'm here. When I'm in your bed, jerking off is unnecessary. I'll take care of it in a minute."
"I want to come now."
"I want to see if you can come without that."
"Like Michael?"
"Yeah."
"That'd be so fucking cool."
"That's why we're trying it. Remember to breathe."
"Feels so good, Kev."
"I know."
"Want more."
"More?"
"More fingers."
"I don't think so."
"Come on. You said before, you said that most guys take three fingers."
"This is your first time."
"I want more."
"Nick-"
"If I'm getting Brian's cock in there, and if Brian's cock is like yours, I need more practice. Give me three fingers."
"Nick."
"Please, Kevin? It feels so good."
Kevin kept his fingers moving as he thought about it. Nick was moving in rhythm with him, muscles fluttering around his touch, cock drooling rapid pre-cum. "Okay." He worked in a third finger. So tight. So hot. So good. Nick moaned, hips lifting. The moans took on the form of words. Sometimes Kevin's name. Sometimes God's. Sometimes Brian's. Kevin finger-fucked Nick, massaging the muscle, massaging the gland, increasing the tempo, surging deeper. Nick opened for him beautifully. And when Nick started to beg for more, more, please, more, Kevin gave more, watching in breathless fascination as his long pinky finger eased its way into Nick's body.
Nick was thrusting against Kevin's hand, moans unceasing, body one impossibly long, high arch. Kevin's cock spat pre-cum as his fingers pushed and thrust inside Nick. Kevin's hand disappeared up past the knuckles. There was no way... He couldn't possibly... He'd never...
Slowly, carefully, holding his breath, watching Nick's shuddering, twisting body, Kevin crowded his fingers together and...very...slowly...popped his thumb past the spasming ring of muscle.
Hot, white, thick spurts of cum accompanied Nick's scream.
Nick was flushed and panting, looking shell-shocked. Kevin worked his hand free as gently as he could. He rinsed the washcloth and wiped Nick clean. Then he tossed the washcloth to the floor and wiped at Nick's tears with his own shaking fingers. "You okay?"
"I don't know."
"Do you want me to apologize?"
"No. No. Could you come down here?"
Kevin stretched out at Nick's side and hauled Nick into his arms. "It's okay."
"God that was intense."
"It was too much."
"No. No."
Kevin stroked Nick's back. "Get some sleep."
"You're still hard."
"After that, I might be hard forever. Go to sleep."
In the morning, Nick was shy. Kevin vacillated between heavy guilt and thrilling anticipation. He'd fisted a sixteen-year-old. He'd never done that to anyone, never even wanted to, and now he'd done it to Nick. Nick. Little Nick Carter.
If God didn't strike him down, Brian would.
That night, Kevin wanted to go to Nick's room. Wanted to talk about last night.
Wanted to repeat last night. Nick's shy touches and bold kisses and eager body.
But he didn't. He couldn't. Because he knew that Nick wouldn't be there. Nick was going to go to Brian's room. Kevin spent his night alone. He'd served his purpose.
Two weeks passed. Despite the confines of the tour, Kevin tried to avoid Nick and Brian. Nevertheless, he couldn't help but notice Nick's new love bite, Nick's new and extremely happy attitude, and Brian's new tendency to make out with Nick on the sofa in the bus.
Then Brian knocked on Kevin's bedroom door at night. It was late, and Kevin had been half-asleep. He opened the door and saw Brian in boxers and T-shirt, lips kiss-bruised, hair half-disheveled. Before Kevin could say anything, Brian said, "What'd you do to him?"
"What?"
"What did you do to Nick?"
"Nothing."
Brian pushed into the room and closed the door, getting right up in Kevin's face despite being a good half-foot shorter. "He said your name."
"What?" Kevin was shocked. Horrified. Triumphant.
"We were making love and he said your name. What did you do to him?"
Something in Kevin smirked with the truth, and something in him shuddered with shame. "It was one night. Before he went to you."
"You had sex with my boyfriend?!"
Frustrated and disgusted and tired of being hurt, Kevin snapped. "He wasn't your boyfriend! He wanted me and he begged me and I did it. And no, I didn't fuck him, I saved some for you!"
Brian smacked Kevin across the face, hard. Kevin shoved him into the dresser.
Nick raced into the room, opening and closing the door. "What the fuck are you doing?!"
"You stay away from him," Brian told Kevin.
Kevin looked Brian right in the eyes. "No."
"No?" Brian asked.
"No?" Nick asked. "What did I miss?"
"Nick is with me," Brian said.
"Doesn't mean he wouldn't rather be with me," Kevin said.
"He loves me."
"Doesn't keep him from wanting me."
"Hey! Guys! I'm right here. What are you doing?"
Kevin cracked his jaw. "We're having a disagreement."
"You're fighting over me?" Nick asked. "That is so cool."
"Stay away from Nick," Brian told Kevin.
"No."
"We already did this part," Nick said.
"He's chosen me. He's with me."
"Funny how he's calling out my name, then," Kevin said.
"I said Brian's name when I was with you," Nick said, sitting down comfortably on the bed.
"Really?" Brian asked.
Kevin shrugged. "I didn't take it personally."
"How could you not?"
"He wanted you, but I was the one giving him pleasure."
"Pleasure?" Nick asked. "That's what you call it?"
"What did you do?" Brian asked.
"Don't answer that," Kevin told Nick.
"Why not?" Nick asked.
"Why not?" Brian asked.
"You know what would be so cool?" Nick asked.
"What?" Brian asked.
"If I could have both of you."
"No thank you," Kevin said.
"Both of us?" Brian repeated.
"At the same time," Nick said, a slow, wicked grin curving his lips.
"No thank you," Kevin said.
"At the same time?" Brian repeated.
"We're all here. We're in a bedroom, with a bed. I'm already on the bed. We're in our underwear. We're all gay, or bi. We all want each other."
"We do not," Brian said.
Nick laughed. "Right. Come here."
"I don't think so," Brian said, backing from Nick.
"Chicken." Nick left the bed and grabbed Brian's hand. "Come on, it won't hurt a bit. We'll just make out on Kevin's bed until he gets too horny and decides to join us."
"This is not a porn movie," Brian said. "We can't do this."
"Sure we can."
"We can't."
"We can."
"Nick-"
"Brian?"
"We can't."
"Just close your eyes and
remember to breathe."