Erica
I'd be your shining star
-"Girlfriend"
written by Justin Timberlake, Chad Hugo, and Pharrell Williams
You're my shining star
-"Shining Star"
written by Franciz and LePont, Nick Carter, and Howie Dorough
The song had changed meaning for Justin. Even the performance was a different experience.
He no longer paid any attention to the screen and its black-and-white video.
He looked beyond the lights, beyond the crowd, up to the sky. To the stars.
He could pick out his star, one star, from a glittering sky.
"I'm your what?"
"You're my shining star."
"What's that supposed to mean?"
"It means you're my shining star."
"Got a dictionary?"
Nick made a face at him. "It's more of a feeling than a-"
"Oh, right."
Nick nipped at his earlobe. "It means you're mine, you're special, and I want you."
"Oh." He smiled. "Where'd you get this term?"
"I made it up."
"Never would have guessed that." He kissed Nick. Nick
had a sexy mouth.
Justin felt his cue coming, and gave the star one more beat of his heart.
"Hey, it's me."
"Me, who?"
"Me, the love of your life."
"Hi, Jim."
"No, not Jim."
"Oh, sorry, Mark."
"You ass, it's Justin."
"Who's Justin?"
"Justin Timberlake."
"Oh, hi."
"You remember me now?"
"Sure. Hey, I've always been an O-Town fan."
Justin banged the phone against the table. Then smiling, with his most pleasant voice, he said, "Hello, Nick."
"Justin, is that you?"
"Yeah."
"Hey, how are you doing?"
"Great. Lance is pissed, JC's sick, I almost fell off the stage yesterday."
"Watch where you're walking, Justin."
"I was dancing."
"Then watch where you're shaking your ass."
"You know, I got this great new CD yesterday."
"Heavy D's Greatest Hits?"
"Black and Blue."
"Never heard of it."
"There's this song on it."
"There'd better be more than one."
"It's called 'Shining Star.'"
"Bet it sucks."
"Bet it doesn't."
"Yeah?"
"Yeah."
"Thanks."
"I know what to do to turn you on?"
"Oh, yeah."
"Like what?"
Justin began to sing. Sitting there before thousands of fans, backed by his friends, he let himself feel the words.
"If I could just find a way to make it so that you were right here,
right now..."
He scribbled phrases. Crossed them out. Found lines that satisfied him.
"Ever since I saw your face, nothing in my life has been the same. I walk around just saying your name."
Sad, but true.
He grinned. He could sneak in a little phrase. Nobody
would notice.
"Trying my best to be a man and be strong."
It was hard to be strong when he felt alone.
When all he had was a star in the sky.
Light from a ball of gas so far away it could be long dead.
Dead.
Justin let Nick get a hand down his pants. Oh, good god. He groaned, feeling his hips pump into Nick's palm.
"Horny?" Nick asked, kissing his neck.
Oh, god, yes. Nick's mouth was hot and wet, soft and arousing against his skin. It made an innocent, erotic contrast to Nick's hand, which was working over his dick like it was Nick's personal duty to ensure that Justin was having a good day.
Yeah, it was a good day.
Hell yeah. Justin groaned again, and Nick's kiss found his
mouth. He opened for a taste of sweet, soft tongue.
Justin rose, approaching the walkway. He let the pain break through his voice. Exposed his grief through his song.
He'd been Nick's shining star.
In his heart, in his soul, he always would be.
But the truth remains, you're gone.
Copyright September 11, 2001 by Matthew Haldeman-Time
matthew@matthewtime.com
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