Becky
Copyright October 28, 2000 by Matthew Haldeman-Time
Rating: R for themes of male-male relationships and references to Nick's naughty parts
Pairing: Brian's sort of alone at the moment. Please call back later.
Disclaimer: The young men who comprise the Backstreet Boys are their own people. The author has not met anyone here described, nor does the author mean to suggest that these people act this way in real life. This writing is a work of fiction. I make no money from this venture.
Dedication: This slashfic is for Ewan McGregor. Also for Becky, Bonnie, Desiree, Melissa, Stephanie, and another, new Stephanie. Wow, there are six of you now. Watch my ego grow! It's like an amazing Chia Pet!
Wherein Brian's wrong, and late, and hearing voices.
Notice: This slashfic is the eighth in a series.
Brian could admit it when he'd been wrong. He was a mature adult. He was wrong on occasion, and this time he'd been wrong.
He swallowed and looked away, blinking to clear his vision. Well. He'd been wrong. Nick was hairy, at least hairier than at age thirteen, especially...there. Right...there.
Wait, he'd looked away. What were his eyes doing looking at that again? Once more: swallow, look away, blink. That was better.
He'd also been wrong about the other thing. The second part of that discussion.
He hadn't been too wrong, really. Nick wasn't that hairy. Just there was more hair in the places that guys, as they went from thirteen to twenty, got more hair. That was natural and normal and fine.
If it was all natural and normal and fine, shouldn't he stop staring?
Oh, good. Clothes. Nick was putting on clothes. Now Brian couldn't see the...hairy part anymore.
A voice - - a voice that sounded sort of like Kevin, which was new and strange - - told him, very firmly: *Brian, get a grip.*
His fingers twitched, hand coming forward reflexively.
*No, don't get a grip on that. I meant it figuratively.*
Right. Right. Get a grip. Brian needed to get a grip. Because...because why? Right, right, because Nick was a young adult human male, and young adult human males grew pubic hair, and Nick was way past puberty, so it was only natural for Nick to have that pretty blonde thatch.
And just because he was used to licking AJ there, he didn't need to have a Pavlovian reaction to every naked guy he saw.
AJ. AJ who'd kicked him out of the room last night.
AJ still loved him. That was not, couldn't be, meaningless. There was meaning in love. It meant something to him.
And AJ was his first, his only, male lover. There was something about their relationship that he'd never experienced before, a sense of utter equality. They were both male. When they made love, everything he did to AJ, AJ could do right back to him. And they were both Backstreet Boys, equal in that and everything that came with it. The sense of understanding, the sense of give-and-take, emotionally and physically, had been refreshing and attractive.
Besides which, AJ had more muscular strength than the women Brian had dated. Which made sex more physical and more interesting. Not to mention the lovely bonus of AJ's flexibility.
He didn't want to lose AJ. Not the sex or the love or the friendship or the connection.
AJ had said something last night about friendships being at stake, about the Backstreet Boys being at stake. Was it possible? Was AJ afraid that the Backstreet Boys would break up over this...this...this what? He didn't even understand it.
AJ was jealous of Nick. And Nick was jealous of AJ. At least, that was the only thing that Brian could come up with right now. If they were jealous of each other, why? Nick thought that he was spending too much time with AJ. And AJ thought that his friendship with Nick was more important to him than his relationship with AJ. He just had to divide his time and affection more equally, then.
But how? What could he do that he wasn't already doing? He hadn't thought that he was neglecting anyone, but now both of them felt slighted.
AJ's solution seemed to be that he spend his time and affection on one of them alone. But he couldn't choose between them. And AJ'd made the choice for him.
That wasn't fair. AJ couldn't make his decisions for him. They were in love and they were going to stay together. They were supposed to be together.
*"You and AJ?"* The voice was Nick's now, not Kevin's. Nick had asked him that question last night. He'd said, "We're supposed to be together," and Nick had said, "You and AJ?" Of course he and AJ. Who else?
Who...
...else.
"You keep sitting there like a fool you're going to be late," Nick said, tossing him the room key, lifting suitcases, leaving.
Leaving.
Walking away from him.
Nick was gone.
He was too late.