Copyright May 12-June 14, 2000 by Matthew Haldeman-Time

Rating: NC-17 for graphic male-male sex; also contains violence

Pairings: Sonny Corinthos/Christopher Ramsey, Nikolas Cassadine/Juan Santiago, Jason Morgan/Stone Cates, AJ Quartermaine/Lucky Spencer, etc.

Disclaimer: "General Hospital" and "Port Charles," with their related characters and themes, do not belong to me.  I make no money from this venture.

Dedication: This slashfic is for all of the men of the "General Hospital" world who didn't make it into the final product.  Also for my favorites from "One Life to Live."  Also for Ewan McGregor.

Wherein Prince Nick says a very bad word; Sonny and Chris opt for sex over Scrabble; and baking brownies can be dangerous to one's health if there's no trash can at hand.

Notice: This slashfic takes place in an alternate universe, as you can tell from the pairings.  Also, I began this fiction before Carly miscarred in late May, 2000.  Therefore, Sonny and Carly's son Joey appears here.  Also, I'm using the real and original Justus and Nikolas.  AJ's Billy Warlock; pick your own Lucky.  Joe doesn't appear long enough for it to make a big difference which version he is.

        He heard that people were hassling Chris: Larkin, Alan, Karen, Frank, Joe, Matt, Eve, Scott, Kevin, Jagger, Miguel, Mac, Taggert, the list continued.  Apparently Chris had a variety of very Chris-type responses: sarcastic smile, fake innocence with raised eyebrows, false assurances.  He heard that Chris was giving Larkin the same treatment that everyone else got: Chris's smug arrogance, non-answers, irritation: nothing sexual.  And, he was told, Chris and Jake had never been more than friends, had never seemed to consider anything more intimate.

        Although Sonny and Jason were best friends, and there was in a sense no more intimate relationship in his life, except Stone, who also was not his lover and never would be.  There were relationships more intimate than sexual ones.

        His relationship with Chris, what had that been?  What was it now?  They'd had sex.  Were they close?  Had they been?  What had they shared?  What had they learned?

        He was sitting on the sofa leafing through Benny's report.  He was about to leave, because Chris had just come in and gone upstairs with Christina.  With any luck, he'd be out the door before - - uh-oh, footsteps.  He closed the folder quickly and was about to stand when a solid weight dropped on the cushion beside him.  Chris.

        "Hello."

        Fingers in the short hairs at the back of his head.  Chris' strong hand urging him to face Chris.  Chris' mouth, so soft, against his lips.  "Miss me?" he heard before Chris' tongue snaked into his mouth.  Yes, yes, oh yes, he'd missed this.  Oh, please, if only Stone would walk in now, or Jason, he'd even be happy to see Mike.  But no one was coming, he was alone (relatively) with Chris, and Chris was kissing him deep and wet like no one else could, and Chris was unbuttoning his shirt with one hand.  There it was, Chris's thumb on his nipple, that always got him and Chris knew it.  Even Brenda hadn't been smart enough to exploit him like this.  Maybe that was it, that Brenda tried to snare him by exploiting his responses to her own body and Chris directly went to his weaknesses.  Chris knew him.  Chris's mouth was so soft but the kisses were so firm at the same time, and he was lost in this wet heat, and Chris was pulling him up off of the sofa.  He stood, weak but unresisting, and Chris was backing towards the stairs so he followed because he didn't want to lose this kiss.  Please, why wouldn't someone come to stop them?

        He moved aside Chris's hands, breaking all physical contact.

        Chris smiled at him.  Flick flick flick, and Chris's shirt was open, and Chris's chest was bared, and his mouth went to Chris's nipple like a babe to the teat.  Chris's fingers were in his hair, and Chris's other hand was reaching down and opening his pants.  This, this had been too long in coming.  When Chris's hand met his sex, he used his teeth, and Chris gasped and said, "Bad boy."  They were moving up the stairs, Chris walking backward slowly, Sonny following with his mouth now on Chris's neck.  By the time they were standing beside the bed, their shoes and socks were gone, their shirts were on the floor, and Sonny was sucking on Chris's tongue like he couldn't get enough.  He couldn't get enough.  He stepped out of his pants and Chris's hand rubbed over his butt.  He hadn't fucked in too long, hadn't gotten sucked off, and he hadn't gotten fucked either.  Normally he'd just want to enter Chris, because that's what he'd long been accustomed to doing.  But now he wanted a blow job, because no one could suck him off like Chris could.  At the same time, now, for the first time in his life, he knew what it was like to be penetrated, and he wanted that, too, that unique and profound experience.

        "Tell me you want me," Chris said, and licked his neck.

        "I want you," he said.  Sonny Corinthos was not used to being told what to do, and when he was told what to do he usually did the opposite.  He did not take direction well.  And here he was being led around by the balls by this young arrogant - - oh god, not the tongue on the nipple.  Here it came, teeth raking across his pec and lips fastening around his nipple, the tongue rubbing over it and licking over it and god, yes, and Sonny's back hit the mattress.  He pulled himself up until his head was on the pillow and Chris's head was in his lap.

        Brenda most likely had been his best lover.  He was too careful with Lily and too straightforward with Hannah.  And Carly, well, the less said the better about that woman, no offense to her sexual techniques intended.  But Chris, no one was like Chris.  He doubted that there really was anyone else like Chris.  So talented.  So in tune with what he wanted, so attentive to his body's responses.  Chris learned and reacted, adapted.

        He had never, in his life, before tonight, had someone lick him there.  He hadn't thought that he wanted it.  Now he knew that he did.

        His cock went down Chris's throat - - goddamn that was impressive.  It had been a long time, and he was on the verge of orgasm, and he waited for the final blow (so to speak), but then Chris was off of him and moving up and kissing his mouth.  Chris's one hand was gone, and now they were rolling over and Chris was on the bottom, and Chris was handing him the lubricant - - always prepared, this man.

        Wait, he was going to get to fuck Chris?

        "Come on, Sonny, don't let me down now," Chris said, kissing him, hands roaming across his shoulders, down his back and up again.  Chris's legs were spread, thighs open, knees up, and no one could mistake this invitation.

        Oh, no, he was going to get to fuck Chris?  Why couldn't there be an earthquake, or an emergency at the hospital, or something, anything, to get him out of this situation?  It looked like it was up to him now.  He left the kiss, moving his face out of kissing range, looking down on Chris.

        Chris looked up at him in return, concerned.  Concerned.  Of all things.  "You've forgotten how.  No, wait, don't tell me, it's fine.  You didn't have to play along this far, you know.  You could have gotten rid of me on the sofa."  Chris was moving out from under him, leaving the bed.  "Don't worry, I won't make this mistake again.  Your virtue is safe from me."

        He watched Chris dress and leave.

        Well, he hadn't fucked Chris, but he'd fucked up nonetheless.

        Juan stared across the water.  "Stefan was with your mother, and Bobbie, and Katherine, right?"

        "Right," Nikolas said.

        "Did he ever...hit one of them?"

        "No."

        "I didn't mean to insult you or anything."

        "Why do you ask?"

        "I guess he never hit you, either."

        "Stefan would never raise his hand to me."

        "I know.  Forget it."

        "Juan, tell me what's wrong."

        Juan looked across the river toward the docks.  "Sonny hit Chris.  Smacked him around, messed up his face.  He's better now, you can't tell  it ever happened."

        "Has this happened before?  Juan, has Sonny hit you?"

        "No.  Sonny's never hit anybody that I ever saw.  He has this thing about hurting women and kids.  Maybe he figured that since Chris was an adult and a guy, that it didn't matter.  But he never hit Chris before and hasn't done it since."

        "It doesn't matter if you're male or female, or if your partner's male or female; lovers don't hit each other."

        "I know."

        "But Chris is still with Sonny, isn't he?"

        "I guess it was a one-time thing.  I guess Chris knows Sonny won't do it again."

        "Are they all right?"

        "No.  Sonny avoids Chris like...  It's like they can't be in the same room.  Chris doesn't seem to care, but Sonny avoids him.  It's insane."

        "Is Sonny angry at him?"

        "I think Sonny's afraid of him."

        "And you're worried."

        "Sonny's really unhappy.  Not angry, like he usually gets.  He's just all inside of himself, like he's hiding.  I wasn't going over there at all at first, because I was sort of freaked out, but now I've been going over regularly and it's like Sonny's just hiding, from everybody, especially from Chris.  I think he's getting okay with Jason and Stone, because they're Jason and Stone.  And Mike's always over there.  But if Sonny knows that Chris is going to be home soon, he's out the door."

        "What did Chris do to him?"

        "He wouldn't leave.  Sonny wanted Chris to move out and Chris wouldn't go."

        "He tried to break up with Chris?"

        "Because of the violence, I guess.  It was right after the shooting, and I guess he wanted Chris to get scared and leave.  Chris must not scare easily.  I don't know, though, I mean, they're...  They're not having sex.  They haven't in months.  They weren't before the shooting, for a long time, and they still aren't.  So I don't know what they're doing, or why they're together, or anything.  I sort of think that Sonny's sort of in love with Chris.  Maybe.  It's hard to tell."

        "If Chris is staying, he must love Sonny, too.  Whether they make love or not is incidental."

        "Is that why you didn't want me?  Because you don't think that sex is important?"  It was his one chance to ask, and he grabbed it.

        Nikolas stared at him.

        "What?"

        Nikolas laughed.

        "What?"  Now he was insulted and embarrassed.

        "You think that I don't want you?"

        Present tense.

        "Juan, I want you.  I did when we were together and I do now.  But now you're with Lucky.  And when we were together, I wanted to go slowly.  I wanted to take the time to get to know you, the way I know you now.  We're a lot closer now than we were when we were actually together.  I wanted to share this with you first, before I shared my body.  You can understand that."

        "You wanted me."

        "I did.  I wanted you very much.  I wanted things that I think even went beyond what you were looking for."

        "And you want me now."

        "You're with my brother, Juan.  If it's appropriate to talk about our past, I don't think that it's appropriate to talk about what I'm feeling now, because-"

        "I'm not with Lucky.  I never was with Lucky.  He kissed me once and I shoved him away because I don't care if he's smart and gorgeous and interesting, I want you.  Wait, I mean, you're smart and gorgeous and interesting too, I mean I don't care how awesome he is, you're like ten times more, and I totally want you.  We were in South Amerieca and we were trying to figure out what in the world you thought that you were doing, and we had this long weird conversation and I asked him to have sex with me because I was frustrated, and he kissed me and I just shoved him away because he wasn't you and I wanted you and I want you.  Lucky and I were never together.  The kiss didn't mean anything.  I understand what you mean about getting to know each other before we start having sex.  Why didn't you explain this to me earlier?"

        "Do you want us to be together?"

        "Yes," Juan said emphatically.

        "Juan, if you wanted me, and you weren't with Lucky, and you know that I've never stopped...caring for you, why didn't you say anything?"

        That pause had not escaped Juan's attention.  He frowned.  "What were you going to say?"

        "Nothing."

        "I didn't say anything because I didn't know what to say, or how to say it.  I mean, first of all, I got to be your friend, and we talk and we spend time together and we share stuff.  I just wasn't getting kissed or touched or anything, which I really wanted, but as long as I had the rest of it I could pretend that it was enough.  Because what right do I have to ask for more?"

        "You have every right."  Nikolas kissed him.  Such soft lips.  It was just a little kiss at first, just lips on lips, and then Nikolas opened his mouth and delved right in like someone who did this professionally and had no qualms or inhibitions whatsoever, which really turned him on.  And finally, after all of this time, he was getting to kiss Nikolas.

        They kissed for a long time, just sitting there, and Juan figured that it would be okay to kiss forever just like this.  But then something new and exciting (really really exciting) happened: Nikolas moved, straddled his thighs, pushed him flat on his back on the grass, still kissing.  Now Nikolas was on top of him, over him, kneeling across him.  Not only that, but Nikolas was unzipping his coat and reaching inside and running a strong hand over his torso through his shirts, inside the heat he'd generated.  Nikolas was touching him, and it felt wonderful.  Nikolas should do this every day.  Every day for the rest of Juan's life.

        "Juan."

        Yes, keep kissing, just like that.

        "Juan."

        Amazing how some people could talk even with a tongue in your mouth.

        "I'm freezing."

        Actually...  "Yeah."

        "Let's go inside," Nikolas said, moving away from the kiss.  Juan sat up fast, to conceal his erection.  Nikolas had been over him but not actually lying on top of him, so Nikolas hadn't been able to tell how turned on he was, and he'd really rather keep it that way.  He zipped up his coat and reached for his shoes.  By the time he was shod, he felt a little calmer, and he stood.  Nikolas took his hand, actually took his hand, and they walked inside together.

        "Nikolas?" he asked when they were sitting on the library sofa.  Nikolas' fingertip was tracing his knuckles one by one, which he really liked.  Amazing how the littlest thing meant this much.

        "Yes?"  Nikolas looked into his eyes.

        "When you said that you wanted things that you thought I wasn't, you know, that you thought that I didn't want...  You meant...  What do you think I want?"

        "I think that you want to be naked and sweaty and sticky with me," Nikolas said.  "I don't think that you're ready to have a man's penis up inside of you.  I think that you want me to touch you, and you want to touch me.  I want that too.  And I've never performed oral sex, but I'm willing to try, on you.  I wouldn't ask you to do the same for me.  But I will not let you make love to me if I can't do the same to you, Juan."

        "But you want to."

        "Yes."

        "Are we allowed to do those things now?  Touch each other?"

        "Not today."

        "Do you really want me?"

        "I do want you.  I've never wanted anyone more.  I just hide it well."

        "Prove it."  Nikolas kept talking sex but wasn't giving him anything much more than he'd had before, when they'd been together before South America.

        "All right."  Nikolas moved closer and kissed Juan, one hand sliding back toward Juan's nape, the other hand settling on Juan's right hip.  That left hand, as Nikolas' tongue stroked the insides of Juan's mouth, came beneath the layers of Juan's shirts to inside, against Juan's skin, where it was hot and alive.  Nikolas' hand moved up Juan's naked side, stroked along Juan's ribs, came up to flick across Juan's nipple.  Juan gasped into Nikolas' mouth; Nikolas swallowed the gasp and kept going, and with his hand at the back of Juan's neck for support he lowered Juan back against the sofa cushions, and he kneed Juan's thighs apart so that he could fit one knee between, and he straddled Juan's thigh and came down to lay on top of Juan, still kissing, pulling on Juan's nipple, and the hard bulge of his erection was pressing against Juan.

        Juan moved his leg, pressing back against Nikolas, and Nikolas moved in response, rocking against him.  He did it again, and so did Nikolas, and Nikolas moaned softly into his mouth.  Yeah, baby, yeah, let's make Prince Charming lose it on the library sofa in Juan Santiago's arms.  He unbuttoned Nikolas' shirt, letting his fingers feel the warm silky skin he exposed.  By the time he got down to Nikolas' navel, the prince started sucking on his tongue and doing the sexiest and most mind-shattering grind against him, having shifted closer to his erection through their jeans.  Juan realized that he was going to come in his pants, and so was Nikolas, and for the moment he couldn't care because oh god oh god he'd never felt anything like this.

        "Oh god," Nikolas said, and all motion stopped as Nikolas' hips stilled and Nikolas' hand stilled and Nikolas stopped kissing him.  Nikolas' forehead rested on his shoulder, and he held still, waiting.  He knew that Nikolas hadn't come, and that Nikolas didn't want to come, and that Nikolas was trying to calm down from the edge of ejaculation.  It pissed him off royally.

        Royally.  Funny, Juan.

        So Nikolas could have full-on flat-out hot sex with Katherine and Juan wasn't good enough?  She was a horrendous beast who'd used Nikolas and trapped Nikolas and degraded everyone involved, but Nikolas could have sex with her?  And he, he wasn't good enough, Nikolas didn't want to come with him.  He was too young and too male and too Puerto Rican for someone like Prince Nick.  Fuck this and "Fuck you," and he was about to shove Nikolas away and get up to leave, except that Nikolas' head shot up and Nikolas' eyes were right there and all of a sudden full of surprised pain.

        Katherine probably didn't swear, either.

        Well, since she was Katherine, she probably did, but never to Nikolas.  She'd never say that to Nikolas.  Stefan probably killed people who said that to Nikolas.

        "I'm sorry," Nikolas said.  "It wasn't supposed to be like this.  I wanted it to be slower and more intimate.  You turn me on so much that it's easy for me to lose myself, but that's my fault."

        "Is that what Katherine did?"

        "Never ever compare yourself to Katherine.  She...she used me and she hurt me.  It was never about me, it was about Helena and my uncle, and she was so confused and used to the lies that by the end she probably thought that she did love me, but she was never in love with me.  I was never in love with her.  I know better now.  Katherine was the biggest mistake of my life and I will regret it forever.  I wasted time, emotion, my other relationships, and my body on her.  I gave her my virginity.  I almost lost Stefan.  But no, that isn't what Katherine did.  Katherine lied and manipulated and got me right where she wanted me by giving me no other place to be.  With you, everything is different."

        "Good."

        "What you and I have isn't just sex.  But when I'm with you, I want you, I want to be like this, I want to be this close if not closer.  It's hard not to touch you.  I feel like every time you look into my eyes it flips a switch inside of me and all systems are go.  I could control it before because I thought that you'd leave me, I thought that you'd rather be somewhere else, and as long as I was just a stand-in I didn't want to get too close only to lose you.  So I held back rather than hurt worse in the future.  But now, if I am the one you want, and we can be together, I don't have that holding me back anymore."

        "So we can go up to your room and I can see your nipples."

        "Right."

        "Now?"

        "Tomorrow."

        "You're worse than a girl."

        "I can give you things no girl can," Nikolas promised, low and sultry, before kissing him.  His mind swam and his hand itched to feel in between Nikolas' thighs.  He hoped that seductive Nikolas showed up in the bedroom tomorrow.

        "Come on, Joey, what do you want?" Chris was asking.  "All right, not that one either.  We have to pick something or Christina will get bored.  She's waiting for us.  If you don't want any of these books, we'll just have to find something else."

        Damn it.  Chris wasn't supposed to be here.  Sonny debated turning around and walking out again.  Didn't Francis know better than to let him walk in while Chris was home?

        "Christina, you stay right there," Chris ordered, putting Christina back in the playpen.  "Joey and I need to find something else to read."  He walked over to the bookcase.  "Let's see, what do you like?  Beatrix Potter?  Michael's travel books?  Yeah, I know, I've heard about Africa enough times this week.  What about Ernest Hemingway?  You like macho drunks?  We can read <u>In Our Time</u> if you want; I can probably find something that's not too offensive for young minds.  It'll put you right to sleep."  Chris carried Joey and the book over to the playpen.  "Story time for young children," Chris announced.  "Come on, Christina."  Chris managed to get a child on each side and the book as well, heading up the stairs.  He was wearing one sock and his shirt was half-unbuttoned.

        Sonny decided not to leave.  Maybe Chris would stay upstairs with the kids.

        Chris came downstairs, childless, and after putting away the book dumped a few toys into the playpen.  Then he pulled off his sock buttoned his shirt.  "You picked a good day to be at the warehouse.  The kids were going crazy.  I told Stone to take a break and I think he's never been more grateful.  They're sleeping and if you wake them I'll kill you."  Chris went to the kitchen.

        Did Chris ever lose his temper?  Not the way most people did.  Chris was too smart to lose control.  Sonny admired that intelligence.

        Chris was a busy person.  Hospital work, patients, paperwork.  Reading a million medical journals to stay informed.  Taking care of Christina, which in itself was a full-time job.  Then there was Julie, whom Chris still managed to see regularly.

        Julie.  Chris's wife.  Chris's love.

        Chris sat at the table with a sandwich and a journal.

        "How's Julie?"

        Chris looked up.  There was the briefest glimpse of the tail end of surprise, but after that Sonny saw only veiled suspicion.  "She's fine.  She's accepted her future, which was really hard for her, but now she's doing her best not to go crazy at the idea of a life in prison."

        "It must be hard for you."

        "It is."  The suspicion was mounting.

        He didn't know how to ask what he wanted to ask.  "You're still married to her."

        "Yes."

        "You're going to stay committed to her?  You love her enough never to consider being with someone else?"

        "I love Julie.  I always will.  I'm her only tie to the outside, besides Christina, so I'm going to remain her husband in the hope that it will give me more rights to see her.  She needed my help, and I needed her help, so in the beginning we were equals, partners.  Then we were friends, and we were good friends.  It was the two of us against everyone.  I love Julie.  I won't stop caring for her."

        "Julie's going to be in jail until she dies," Sonny said.  "You could have anyone you want.  Why do you waste yourself on someone who can't share your life?"

        "Anyone I want."  Chris mused.  "I haven't gotten laid in too long.  I wonder..." He grinned devilishly.

        "There's always Larkin," Sonny said.

        "John's small time, Sonny," Chris said.  "I'm better than that.  Well, maybe not according to you, but some people think I'm very good in bed.  I taught Courtney everything she knows."

        "If you want to be a slut in front of your daughter, go ahead."

        "Since I came to Port Charles in the summer of 1997 I've been with Nicole Devlin, Courtney, Julie, and you.  Nicole was a brief mistake, Courtney was trying to get money and information, and Julie's my wife."

        "And what am I?"

        Christina started to cry.  Chris glared at him and went upstairs.

        Sonny left for the warehouse.  There was something very civilized about being a doctor.  The title alone afforded respect.  Doctors had power over life and death, they were extremely well educated, and they were well-paid to boot.  Sonny's own name was more than tainted with a sense of crime and bloodshed.  Just hearing it, Sonny Corinthos versus Dr. Ramsey, the differences were clear.  Ramsey sounded like Ramses, and all of those Egyptian pharoahs had been named Ramses.  To the Egyptians, Pharoah was God.  And Sonny, what the hell kind of name was Sonny?

        Chris was a doctor.  Sonny was a criminal.

        Juan had looked over his body in the mirror that morning before getting dressed for school.  (Who felt like going to school, knowing that at the end of the day he'd be lying in Nikolas Cassadine's bed?)  He was too skinny and his dick looked funny, but he couldn't change any of that in twelve hours, so he'd tried not to think about it.  Now, standing in the foyer with Nikolas giving him the softest, gentlest kiss possible that still made the word "erotic" loaded with meaning, Juan was trying not to be nervous.

        "Are you all right?" Nikolas asked.  "We don't have to do anything.  We don't have to take off our clothes right now.  Just come up and talk in my room."

        Okay, trying to take off the pressure, that was a nice thing to do.  At least he had a considerate boyfriend.  They were holding hands again, and that was good too.  He liked holding Nikolas' hand.

        Wow.  Now this was a bedroom.  What were the words: lavish, ornate, but still...tasteful.  Gothic but worthy of Martha Stewart's approval.  They sat casually in the middle of the bed, which was even better than the bed Juan'd slept in when he'd slept here.  The bed was made, of course, and everything was clean and neat.  Cassadines were not messy, and they had servants besides.

        It was hard to judge, just feeling a hardness against your thigh, not looking, the size of something.  Juan wondered if Nikolas were well-hung.  Not that size mattered, of course.  And he was hoping that Nikolas wasn't hung up on appearances, since he wasn't exactly built like Jax or anything.  But considering how the rest of Nikolas looked, Juan figured it was likely that Nikolas was perfect down there, too.  What would perfect look like?

        Could he get Nikolas naked without taking off his own clothes?

        Not with the door open.

        He left the bed, disentangling their fingers, and closed the door.  Then he sat down facing Nikolas again and said, "Could you take off your clothes?"  He considered.  "Please?"

        Nikolas frowned and smiled at the same time.  "Do you mind if we kiss first?"

        "Works for me," he said, and kissed Nikolas.  Nikolas' mouth opened for him immediately, which was very gratifying.  He'd wanted this all day, and all last night, and apparently Nikolas had, too.  He'd been half hard all afternoon waiting for this moment.  Nikolas' hand was sliding around his waist and coming up underneath his shirt onto his back.  Careful fingers traced up his spine.  He remembered that Nikolas was willing to give him a blow job, wanted to suck his cock.  Oh, god, yes...  Damn it, why couldn't Nikolas be wearing a shirt with buttons today?  He wanted to get this thing "Off."

        Nikolas ducked away from their kiss long enough to pull the shirt off and drop it to the floor.  So much for having a clean room.  He reached down and pulled off his own sneakers and socks while Nikolas licked his mouth.  He pulled his feet up onto the bed and realized, holy shit, Nikolas was half-naked.  He backed up, ending the kiss, and stared.

        Naked.

        "Touch me," Nikolas said, breathing, soft.

        He'd touched Nikolas' skin before, but not like this, never like this.  And now he could see everything, the curve of pec, the tightness around the abs, the detail of Nikolas' nipples.  He swallowed and reached out until his trembling fingers brushed Nikolas' side.  Then he grinned, oh yeah, and he slid both hands eagerly over Nikolas, up the torso, down the arms, stroking Nikolas' stomach, running his palms over Nikolas' pecs, and then passing one thumb over one nipple.  Yeah, somebody really liked that.  Two somebodys.  He kissed Nikolas, glorying in his new treasure, groping with enthusiasm.  Nikolas was touching him, too, under his shirt.

        More.  He wanted more.  Must have more.  He ran his fingers around Nikolas' waistband.  Did he dare?  Hey, this was why they were here, right?  He traced over Nikolas' abdomen and moved his fingers down to the top of Nikolas' fly.

        A second later he was flat on his back looking up into lovely brown eyes.  "Not yet."  Nikolas kissed him thoroughly, then grasped the hem of his shirt and lifted.  "Off."

        Monosyllabic Nikolas.  A good thing, Juan decided, if a bit unnerving.  "You first."

        "Mine's off already," Nikolas reminded him.

        "You're still wearing your pants."  He was very much not looking down there.

        "Juan...  You have to share, too."

        "We can share your body first."

        "That's not how it works."  Nikolas kissed him.  "I want to see."

        "Okay, but I'm not making any promises.  If it's not to your satisfaction, that's not my fault."

        "I'll be satisfied," Nikolas promised, kissing him, and moved back to watch.

        Great.  Juan on display.  He sighed and pulled his shirt over his head, dropping it off to the floor beside Nikolas' shirt.  He scratched his arm and sighed, looking elsewhere.  Then there was a hand, a soft curious touch, on his arm where he'd scratched.  The hand moved to his slim broad shoulder and then Nikolas licked the scratched spot.  Wow.  Nikolas' hand came to his back and he was lowered down again, Nikolas over him, and Nikolas kissed his right nipple.  Those soft, wet lips settled over his nipple, which just made him ache with the perfection, until Nikolas' tongue started to scrub over the point, and if he'd been turned on before now there was no comparison.

        It would be a very bad thing if he came in his pants right now, this close to getting everything he wanted.  So Juan tried to control himself.  And maybe now he could see the rest of Nikolas.  Emboldened at that prospect, he waited until Nikolas was kissing his mouth again, and once the room stopped spinning he reached down for Nikolas' fly.  The temperature was actually, noticeably, warmer down here.  Hotter.  He sucked in some air, kissed Nikolas hard, and slid his hand down to cup the bulge of Nikolas' erection through Nikolas' pants.

        Wow.

        First of all, he'd been right about the size issue.  Second of all, hot, very hard, and very much responsive to touch.

        Nikolas said, "You may touch me if you want."  Which, since he was already touching, he figured must mean that Nikolas was giving him permission to touch naked Nikolas, which meant that he could have Nikolas in his hand but without anything in the way, no barriers, hot hard Nikolas bared in his hand.  Well, that sounded downright good.  So he put his other hand down there and managed to get Nikolas' pants open and rather impatiently shoved down Nikolas' pants and boxers - - he'd expected briefs, to be honest.  And then there it was, and it was drooling on him, and he almost panicked except that he didn't want to let go.  His other hand managed to remember itself, and he felt over Nikolas' thighs, and in between Nikolas' legs were it was hairy and private, and he found Nikolas' balls, and he wanted to look but that would mean stopping this kiss, and he didn't want this kiss to end because the more turned on Nikolas got the more pliant Nikolas' kiss got, which meant that he pretty much could take over Nikolas' mouth.  He liked to tongue-fuck Nikolas's mouth because Nikolas made the hottest whimpering sounds when he did it.

        And the best thing of all, he could tell without looking, just by the feel of Nikolas in his hand, even without moving his hand, just holding, was that Nikolas wasn't circumcised.  There was a foreskin.

        He moved his hand.  Nikolas made this soft, shivering, moaning kind of sound.  He adjusted his grip, moved up and down, went to the end, and ever so gently peeled back the foreskin to expose what he really wanted.  Yeah, there it was.  He stroked his fingers down the shaft and felt over the head.  Nikolas wasn't kissing him anymore; Nikolas' forehead was on his shoulder and Nikolas was sort of shuddering and gasping like it was the first orgasm ever to hit the poor boy.  Juan had expected a more suave reaction from someone who, after all, was an adult and sexually experienced.  This was really really neat; he was totally making Nikolas lose it.

        Nikolas came.  Semen shot, hot and wet, over Juan's hand and over both of their torsos.  He had Nikolas' semen on his chest.  Wow.

        "Sorry," Nikolas said.  "I didn't mean to do that."

        "I did."

        Nikolas chuckled.  Nikolas' head moved, and unless Juan had gone insane, which was more and more likely, Nikolas was licking semen from his nipple.  Such a good thing.

        "Don't go anywhere," Nikolas said, and left the bed.  Naked, Nikolas naked, walked away from the bed and to what Juan assumed was the bathroom off to the left.  Juan sat up and looked down at himself.  First of all, semen.  Second, Nikolas' semen.  Third, Nikolas' semen on his chest.  Fourth, Nikolas' semen on his chest that Nikolas had licked.  Hell, if Nikolas could taste it, so could he, right?  Well, maybe not.  He didn't know how he felt about it, really, with Nikolas coming back any second.  He was curious, and he wanted to see what it tasted like, but he didn't want to be caught at it.

        Nikolas came back, still naked, and he got his first full-scale look.  Weren't naked guys supposed to be funny-looking?  In all seriousness, with full objectivity, they sort of were.  But not Nikolas.  Some people, including Greco-Russian princes, apparently got to break every rule and just be gorgeous no matter what.

        It wasn't like Nikolas had twenty inches of meat hanging down there, but that was one fine cock.  Juan wanted to touch it again.  Juan wanted to touch all of Nikolas again.  He'd barely gotten started.

        Nikolas sat down beside him and ran a warm, damp washcloth over his chest and stomach, wiping off semen.  The washcloth dropped on top of Nikolas' shirt and Nikolas leaned forward, kissing him.  "Juan."

        "Yeah."  God, why did Nikolas taste this good?  Sweet, sweet mouth.

        "May I touch you?"

        Juan backed off, licking his own lips for once.  "Um, yeah."

        "If you aren't comfortable, tell me no."  Nikolas looked understanding and gorgeous and ready to let it go if he didn't want to be touched.

        He swallowed and said, "No, it's okay."

        "It's not," Nikolas said, and gave him a gentle little kiss.  Nikolas' fingers ran over his sides, playing over his ribs.  "Here."  Nikolas pulled him aside, and laid down, and he found himself lying on top of Nikolas, full length stretched out on Nikolas' body.  Oh, this felt good.  Nikolas smiled, and stroked down his back, and started kissing him again.

        Time began to slip away from Juan.  All he knew was Nikolas' mouth, and Nikolas' hand, and Nikolas naked under his hands.  At one point he tilted to his right as Nikolas tilted left, and they ended up on their sides still in an embrace, and his left hand went down to his fly, and he opened his jeans because it was cramped and painful, and he just wanted to get out and come already.  Nikolas kept kissing him.  He shimmied and managed, with some hip work and his hand, to get his jeans and boxers down and, eventually, off.  Now he was naked.  He took himself in hand, started that familiar rhythm.  It was going to take about two seconds at this rate.

        Nikolas' hand slid down his arm to his wrist and tugged his hand away.  "Rub against me," Nikolas said softly, still kissing him, politely not looking down at him.  Nikolas moved against him to demonstrate.  Oh that just slammed right through him.  He moved in response, picked up the sensation, started to rock against Nikolas, started to twist and thrust, his cock rubbing against Nikolas just right.  Nikolas was hard, too, which made him wonder just how long they'd been kissing.  He wrapped an arm around Nikolas' shoulders and hung on for the ride.  He was making the weirdest grunting hungry gasping sound, which was sort of disturbing since he'd never heard it before.  But he'd never done this before, either.  Actually, as far as he knew, no one had done this with Nikolas before, not this particular one thing.  He was Nikolas' first, in this at least.  With that thought, he came.

        "Thank you," Nikolas said.

        Wasn't that Juan's line?  "No, no, the pleasure was mine," he said.  "Literally."  He looked into Nikolas' eyes, and Nikolas really did look happy.  Nikolas was all hard again against his hip.

        "Excuse me."  Nikolas moved up and across him, stretching down to the floor.  Nikolas practically fell off the bed, and he helped Nikolas back up, out of pure altruism and not to get his hands on that delicious body.  Sure.

        Juan watched in fascination as Nikolas' finger ran over Nikolas' chest.  Most of the junk was on Juan, but there was some on Nikolas too.  Nikolas collected Juan's semen and carefully put his finger in his mouth, between those soft red lips; Juan winced in anticipation and vicarious pleasure.  Nikolas sucked off his finger, eyes closing briefly to, what, enjoy the moment?  His first taste of Juan's cum was actually a good time?  Juan couldn't believe it.

        Nikolas smiled, finger slipping out again.  "Nice."

        Juan stared.  He collapsed flat on his back, uncomprehending.  Did it really taste good?  It wasn't supposed to, was it?  Then he realized that he was totally exposing himself to Nikolas' view.  He closed his eyes.  The washcloth, less warm now, ran over his chest, down his stomach.  Nikolas had to be looking.  Well, what the hell.  He spread his thighs, opening up a little.

        "Juan?"

        He opened one eye.  Nikolas was sitting up beside him.  "Yeah?"

        "Can we make a deal?"

        "Yeah?"  Second eye opened.

        "I'll try to give you a blow job if you touch me again."

        He sat up fast.  "Okay."

        Nikolas smiled and kissed him.  He wanted to watch what he was doing, so he eased himself away from the kiss.  Nikolas apparently was a mindreader, because Nikolas didn't try to kiss his mouth again.  However, Nikolas did start kissing down on his neck, which was really nice.  Juan could do this all day.  He looked down between their bodies, and he saw Nikolas' cock looking up at him.  He put one hand down, easing Nikolas' thigh to one side; Nikolas moved easily under his touch.  He stroked over Nikolas' thigh while his other hand reached down for Nikolas' cock.  It was hot and it was hard and it jerked under his hand.  Nikolas made a happy sound against his neck and started licking his collarbone.  Oh, teeth, wow, he hadn't thought he'd like that.  He slid his hand over Nikolas' cock, and he knew how to do this because he'd done it to himself.  But it felt different now, because it wasn't himself, it was Nikolas, and Nikolas was holding onto him and kissing his shoulder.  His other hand moved in from Nikolas' thigh, reaching for Nikolas' balls.  Yeah, Nikolas liked that move.  He peeled back the foreskin, and now he had to be careful because it was more sensitive in here.  Nikolas stopped kissing his shoulder and looked into his eyes, which was just what he'd wanted anyway.  He wanted to look down at what he was doing, and he wanted to watch Nikolas' face, so he tried to do both.  Then Nikolas gasped and he knew where he wanted to look.  He watched Nikolas' jaw drop, lips trembling like some Victorian chick's, eyes all wide and dark, and then Nikolas's hands tightened on his sides, and Nikolas shuddered all over just once really fast, and then there was semen everywhere all over again.  Nikolas leaned forward, kissed him, slow and deep, and he figured he should be the grateful one for getting to do that, for getting to touch and witness.

        "May I?" Nikolas asked.

        "If you want," Juan said.  "Be my guest."

        Nikolas smiled.  "I'll try to make it good for you."  And Nikolas tipped him back, and he watched the ceiling while Nikolas started kissing down his neck again.  Nikolas went slowly, like they had all of the time in the world, like Juan wasn't going to lose it any second.  It was awful, but it felt so good, it felt like Nikolas was touching and kissing and licking and biting every little inch of him.  Just to keep Nikolas remembering the point of this, he spread his legs some more.  Nikolas just chuckled and kept the slow pace.  Amazing how this was really exciting.  Shouldn't he be bored by now?  How could it be a major turn-on to have someone lick your stomach?  Really, it wasn't like his ribcage was an erogenous zone or anything.  But it felt so good, and he was so turned on, and with every second he just wanted more, lots more, more more more.

        Oh, so close, almost there, come on...

        Shit!  Oh, wait, yes, that felt good too, right there.  Nikolas was taking a little detour, licking along the crease where his thigh met his torso.  Not the main event, but it felt just terrific.  Yeah, keep doing that.  Oh, god, no one had ever licked his balls before, he hadn't known it would feel like that.  He spread his thighs even wider and arched his back.  Nikolas chuckled again and his balls were sucked right into Nikolas' mouth.  If his eyes rolled back in his head at that point, there were no witnesses.  Nikolas gently released his balls and started licking around the base of his cock.  What a lovely idea.  Smart boy, this Nikolas.  He wasn't going to start thrusting himself into Nikolas' face or anything, but he did rock forward a little in encouragement.  Nikolas started licking higher, up his cock, and then wet lips surrounded the head, and Juan lost it right about then.  There was a lot of heat and wetness and suction and ecstasy and he'd never felt better in his whole fucking life, and then he came.

        Was a first-time blow job supposed to feel that good?  Maybe it was because he didn't know any better himself, but he was willing to offer Nikolas an award for that.  Some sort of medal was deserved for that level of talent.  Natural talent, no less.

        Dazed, Juan gazed up at the ceiling.  Look at the pretty stars...

        "Juan."  Nikolas kissed the corner of his mouth.  He tilted his face in that direction, silently asking for more.  Nikolas kissed him again.  He was too bonelessly sated to kiss back, but he mustered the energy to sigh happily.  Nikolas was stroking his side, and he managed to move a little against Nikolas' hand, liking the feel.

        Mmm, but something was odd.  He'd forgotten something.  He'd missed it.  What could it be?  Mustn't be important.

        His eyes went wide and he looked at Nikolas.  "You swallowed."

        "I swallowed," Nikolas agreed.

        You put my cock in your mouth and you sucked me off and then you swallowed?  Nikolas deserved a medal for bravery, no question about it.

        "Do you mind?" Nikolas asked.

        "What's it taste like?"

        Nikolas considered.  "It's bitter.  Salty."

        "Not very good."

        "It's oddly appealing.  I suppose it's an acquired taste.  And from what I hear, most people don't swallow."

        "Can I ask you something?"

        "Anything."

        "Did Katherine...do that to you?"

        Nikolas hesitated.  "She offered, but I didn't want her to."

        "So you don't want it?"

        Nikolas hesitated again.  "I'd like you to do it, but I won't ask."

        Weird.  Flattering.  Definitely flattering.  He thought.  "I don't know if I can."  It was, what was the word, daunting.  The idea of putting that in his mouth.  The idea of swallowing all of that stuff.  Although he definitely wouldn't mind licking it.  He wanted to kiss Nikolas all over, the way Nikolas had kissed him.

        Which reminded him that he was totally naked, and so was Nikolas, and here he was lying in Nikolas' bed with Nikolas just touching him gently, and it was all so tender and romantic and intimate.  He turned onto his side, toward Nikolas, and they sort of curled up together, resting together, and he just looked into Nikolas' eyes.  Nikolas' hand rested on his hip, fingers curving back towards his butt.  "Can we do this again really soon?"

        "I'd like to," Nikolas said, smiling.

        "You look so good naked."

        "So do you."

        Juan snorted.

        "What's wrong with you?" Nikolas asked, concerned.

        "I'm too skinny."

        "You're tall and slender.  It happens.  You have a very nice body."

        "You can see like all of my bones."

        "That's not true.  Besides, you have nice bones.  May I ask you something?"

        "Sure."  He thought that he knew what was coming.

        "I thought that Catholic boys were circumcised."

        "They are.  They're supposed to be.  I don't know why I wasn't."

        "It embarrasses you," Nikolas said.

        "Yeah.  Everybody else always was circumcised, and they made fun of me.  I actually asked my dad a few times if I could have it done."

        "I'm sorry."

        "But you, you're...intact.  And it looks good on you, it looks really good."

        "Thank you."  Nikolas smiled into his eyes.  "You're beautiful, Juan, you have a lovely body.  I wouldn't make fun of a thing."

        Nikolas didn't think that he was funny-looking.  Nikolas liked his body.  Nikolas liked his cock.  Nikolas had a foreskin, too.  Life was great.  "Tomorrow.  We're doing this again tomorrow."

        Sonny was watching Chris.  Watching those soft brown eyes.  Watching the quirk of a smile.  Watching the dark hairs coming up toward Chris' open collar.

        He knew that he had to stay here.  Here with the guards and the bullet-proof glass and the regular security.  Here where Joey was safest.

        But any place could be breached.  They'd been attacked here.  Joey wasn't safe here.  And he, he wasn't safe here.  Bullets be damned; as long as Chris was here, he wasn't safe.

        "I love Julie.  I always will."

        He knew Chris to a point, by now.  He knew that Chris' musings on sleeping with someone were only musings; Chris wasn't having sex and apparently wasn't going to, either.  Chris wasn't truly interested in getting laid anymore.  Chris was in love with Julie.  Then why had Chris slept with him?  For Christina?  He hadn't demanded sex in return for her safety, so why had Chris done it?

        There was no good way to ask.

        He had to get out.  But Joey needed to be here, here where Stone could baby-sit, where Jason and Chris would baby-sit.  He couldn't watch Joey twenty-four hours a day, and he didn't want to risk hiring a nanny right now, not with bullets and betrayals in the air.  Still, Stone could baby-sit no matter where he lived.

        So he made a few calls, and he packed his suitcase, and he tried to separate Joey's things from Christina's.

        Mike had the worst timing in the world.  Something about that man, some radar...

        "Are you going somewhere?" Mike asked as he came down the stairs.

        Johnny came forward to help him.  He handed Johnny some bags and went up for more.

        "Sonny?"  Stone's voice.

        "Jason, what is this?" Mike asked.

        "Johnny," Jason said.

        "Mr. Corinthos is moving out temporarily," Johnny said, and the front door closed.

        Sonny picked up the last bags and Joey.  He could always come back if he'd forgotten something.  He went downstairs and another security man took everything but Joey, leaving.  He said to Stone, "I'm going to count on you to take care of Joey when I'm working."

        "Where are you going?" Stone asked.

        "Not far," he said.  "I got another apartment.  Getting crowded in here."

        "Michael, you don't have to leave," Mike said.  "Didn't you learn from my mistakes?"

        He hadn't looked at it in that light, and he didn't want to.  "Good-bye, Mike."

        "Do you want me to come with you?" Stone asked.

        "No, stay here," he said.

        "Are you sure?" Stone asked.  "How about just now, just to see the place, and then Johnny can bring me home."

        "Okay," he said.  "Come on.  Jason."  Jason nodded.  "Good-bye, Mike," he said pointedly, to keep Mike from saying anything.

        "Aren't you going to say good-bye to Christina?" Mike asked.

        Actually, he wanted to.  So he went over to her where she was sitting.  She just happened to be sitting in Chris' lap, and he did not look at Chris.  He crouched down and said, "Good-bye, sweet baby girl."  She laughed and grasped his hand.  He smiled, and stood, and left.

        He lived in his new apartment for three weeks.  Stone was there all of the time, and Jason of course, and Juan showed up a lot.  Mike, it seemed, was spending a lot of time at the penthouse.  Great, his father could bond with Chris, just what he needed.  Then Christmas came, and he took Joey shopping, and they picked out presents.  Lots of things for Joey, of course, and gifts for Stone, Jason, Juan, Mike, Christina.  Benny, Rinaldo, Johnny, Francis.

        Maybe he should get something for Chris.  Just a little something.  The guy was living in his home, after all, and it would be really obvious if he got something for everyone, even Christina, and not Chris.  So he found himself wandering in Windham's.  He had no idea what to buy.  He'd never had a male ex-lover he couldn't get rid of.  His ex-lovers were all female and glad to get away from him, and he didn't buy them presents.  What was the proper gift protocol for this situation?  What could he buy Chris?

        Christmas day, he went to church.  When he got home, he found a group standing outside his apartment door.  "Hey, merry Christmas," Stone said.

        "What're you guys doing here?" he asked Stone, Jason, Juan, Mike.  Chris wasn't there.

        "We're here for presents," Stone said.  "What else?"

        "Come inside," he invited them.  "I didn't expect you.  I was going to come by the penthouse later."

        "It's our first excuse to party in your new place," Juan said.

        Was Chris alone?  Sitting in the penthouse with Christina on Christmas?  He couldn't ask.

        They sat around his living room, eating and talking and sharing presents.  Joey was spoiled.  Stone and Jason kissed.  He noticed that Juan was the only person in the world who listened to Mike, and that Mike was the only person in the world that Juan listened to.  Maybe, he suspected, Juan listened to Nikolas, too.  Juan sure never listened to him.

        He noticed that a few of Joey's presents were from Chris.

        Finally they had to leave.  Juan and Mike ever so casually gave him the following information: Chris was working at the hospital today, Chris would be going to see Julie, they were baby-sitting Christina while Chris visited Julie, and if he had any gifts for Christina he could give them to the two of them.  Subtle.  He handed over Christina's presents and they left.  Stone and Jason left after that, and he was alone with Joey.

        Sonny had been avoiding alcohol since Joey's birth.  Tonight, though, when Joey was asleep and the fireplace was lit and he was alone, he poured himself a glass of red wine and sat on the sofa, watching the flames, one ear automatically tuned to Joey's room, mind wandering.  There was one gift left, a wrapped box on the table.

        Knock at the door.  Jason?  Benny?  God, please not Bobbi.  He got up, "Coming," and walked to the door, opening it.  He managed not to tip his glass and spill wine everywhere, although momentarily he lost all motor control.  Chris.  Devastating, smug, handsome Chris, all dressed up, right in front of him.

        "Hi.  Merry Christmas.  May I come in?"

        He stepped back, walked to stand by the fire, watched Chris.  Chris entered, closed the door, wandered towards him.

        "I know it's late.  I'll try not to wake Joey.  I didn't bring you anything; I'm just here to see your new apartment, wish you a merry Christmas, see how you're doing."

        "How's Julie?"

        "She misses Christina.  I take pictures, I try to tell her everything Christina's doing, but it's not enough."  Chris was close now, between him and the sofa.  "Is this present for you or from you?"

        "From me."

        "Mike told me that you had gifts for Christina.  Thank you.  I'll help her open them when I get home."

        He nodded.

        "Do you like living here?  Do you enjoy the solitude?  Don't you miss Jason and Stone?"

        "What do you want from me?  Why are you here?"

        "I want you to come home."

        "My home is not where you are."

        "Then I'll leave.  I'll go."

        "Oh, now you're all ready to go?  What happened, you found another sugar daddy?"

        "I found another apartment."

        "Best Christmas present I got this year."

        "I'm moving in on the first of the month.  You can have your bed all to yourself."

        "Great!"

        "Are you ever going to tell me what is wrong with you?  If you don't want me, that's fine.  If you don't like me, tell me so.  This shit-assed nonsense about avoiding me and moving out and yelling at me and all of a sudden you can't stand to look at me, that's-"

        "Shit-assed nonsense?" he repeated.  He wasn't sure whether he was amused or angry.  He settled on angry.

        "What did I ever do to you?" Chris asked.  "If I interrupted your life, if I overstepped my bounds, if I made you miss an opportunity with another short dark-haired woman, I'm sorry.  Ignoring me and shoving me away obviously didn't help a thing."

        "You need to leave."

        "Am I the problem or are you?" Chris asked.  "Really, Sonny, tell me what went wrong.  Was it the sex?  Is it because I'm a man and you aren't ready for it?  You could have told me."

        "It's just you.  I don't like you.  I have no use for you."

        "Fine.  I'm sorry.  I'll be out of your life.  Merry Christmas."

        "Merry Christmas."

        Sonny didn't hear from Chris again.  He heard of Chris, from Stone and Juan and Mike.  Jason knew better than to mention Chris, but the others, well-intentioned as they were, seemed to talk about nothing but Chris, and how Chris was doing, and how Christina was, and how Chris was preparing to move out soon.  New Year's Day, Sonny moved back into the penthouse.  All traces of Chris and Christina were gone.  His room was abandoned.  His bed looked as empty and neat as though Chris had never slept in it.  No Christina.  No Chris.

        Then Jason handed him an envelope.  "It's from Chris."

        He didn't know why his heart was pounding like this.  He opened the envelope and found a check.  No note, just a check.  A check for a significant amout of money, and in the corner, to the left of the signature: rent.

        Without further thought, Sonny tore the check into four pieces and dropped it into the trash can.

        He had guards keeping watch over Chris and Christina.  They rotated shifts regularly, and they kept to the background; Chris wasn't supposed to know that they were there.  A week after New Year's, though, Chris's head security man came to Sonny and said, "Dr. Ramsey knows we're watching him."

        "Too bad," Sonny said.  "Did he tell you to back off?"

        "He said he knows it won't do any good."

        That evening, Chris came into the penthouse.  Sonny raised his eyebrows and waited.  Chris said, "Hey," to Stone.  "Hey, Joey.  May I?"

        "Go ahead," Stone said, since Sonny wasn't answering.

        "Hey, how've you been?" Chris asked Joey, picking him off the floor.  "You're getting big.  I've missed you," and he grinned and Joey smiled back, holding onto Chris.

        "What do you want?" Sonny asked.

        "I'm here to request that you remove the quiet well-dressed men who keep hanging around me and Christina," Chris said.  "Do you really think that I'm in any danger?  I've left you, you haven't had a thing to do with me for months; anyone paying the least bit of attention must know that there's no leverage in hurting me."

        "I thought you wanted Christina safe."

        "Isn't there more harm in keeping the association between us?  The longer your guards stick around me, the more likely it is that your enemies will think that there's a connection between us.  If you don't seem interested in protecting me at all, everyone will get the picture."

        Chris had a point.  Sonny didn't want to admit it.

        "If you want to waste your money and your men, that's up to you."  Chris kissed Joey, set him down, and left.

        The next afternoon, Stone and Mike were there with Joey and Michael when he came home as Jason was leaving.  "Sonny, can I ask you something?" Stone asked.

        "What?" Sonny asked, grinning at his son, picking up Joey and holding the boy close.

        "That present.  The one from Christmas.  It's still in your room.  It's from you, right, not for you?"

        "That's right."  Joey laughed at him, so he laughed back.

        "Are you waiting to give it to someone you haven't seen?  Or is it for someone...  Is it for Lily?  Or Brenda?" Stone asked cautiously.

        "It's for someone who hasn't gotten it yet."

        "Is it for Chris?" Mike asked.

        "Mike!  If it's not for you it's none of your business," Sonny said.

        "Do you want me to give it to him?" Mike asked.

        "If I want him to have it I'll give it to him myself," Sonny said.

        "Why'd you buy it if you aren't going to give it to him?" Mike asked.

        "He didn't get me anything, why should I give him something?" Sonny asked.  That sounded really petty, and it wasn't the problem at all.

        "He's given you plenty," Mike said.  "He's tried to give you everything.  And you repay him by holding back-"

        "I don't want to hear it!  Mike!  Not from you, not ever."

        "Fine.  That's fine.  But you aren't going to chase me away the way you chase off everyone else."

        "Here." Sonny handed Joey to Stone and went upstairs.  He came back with the gift-wrapped box and threw it at Mike, who caught it.  "Give it to him.  I don't care anymore."

        "If it doesn't come from you, it doesn't count.  Michael, give it to him yourself."

        He wouldn't take it back.  Finally, when Mike left, the present left too.

        Sonny removed Chris' guards.

        Sonny hadn't masturbated in a long time.  Now he found himself jerking off every day.  Usually he did it in the shower; he didn't like to waste water, but it made clean-up easier.  He started to do it twice a day, before and after he slept.  At first he kept his mind blank deliberately, just going for a quick finish.  Then the thoughts started to come, and memories, and images, and he couldn't hold them back.  He went more slowly, made himself feel the pleasure, forced himself to enjoy it.  It was punishment.  It was guilt, shame, and agony to draw  out the moment, to feel every pleasurable inch, and to come over "Chris..."  The name shuddered off of his tongue, slipped through lips that wanted to treasure the word.  Now he didn't jack his cock automatically; he lingered, he teased himself; he pretended that Chris was touching him, and Chris knew just how to touch him.  One night he wanted Chris so badly that he got out the lube and finger-fucked himself, easing his finger in carefully to start, and when the muscle was loose enough he just popped the trigger again and again, until he'd shot his load and couldn't take any more.

        He wondered whether Mike had given Chris the box.  He never should have let Mike near that present.  He should've thrown it away, given it back to the store, pawned it, at least hidden it somewhere.  Denied its importance.  If Mike actually gave it to Chris, and if Chris actually opened it-

        -but maybe Mike would keep it, wait, not feel that the time was right.  Or maybe Chris would reject it or throw it away or never open it at all.  It was very likely that Chris would never unwrap that gift.

        He prayed to God that Chris would never unwrap that gift.

        God didn't like Sonny.  Never had.  God took Mike and gave Deke.  Gave Stone and gave AIDS.  Gave Jason and gave brain damage.  Gave Lily and their child, took them back.  Gave Brenda, took her back.  Gave Juan, but wouldn't let him close enough.  Sonny had love and Sonny had friends and Sonny had Stone and Jason and Juan and Mike, had had Lily, had Joey.  Sonny had money and power and influence.  But Sonny had never had someone that he could keep.  Joey was the first.  Joey was his and no one else's.  It should have been enough.  But Sonny was greedy; Sonny wanted more.

        Sonny had demanded from God before.  He'd sorted through his demands and pared them down somewhat.  He no longer wanted Lily back; she was in Heaven now, and she belonged there.  He didn't want Brenda back, not with him anyway.  She was no longer any of his business.  What he did want was for Stone to be well.  So he did his very best to keep Stone healthy, and he threw money at anyone who could help, and he prayed every day.  He wanted Joey to be safe and happy, and he did what he could to ensure that, too.  And, right now, Sonny wanted something else.  Sonny wanted Chris and Christina.  But he knew that they weren't for him.  They were Julie's, and even if they hadn't been hers, they weren't for him.  He didn't get to be that happy.  He didn't deserve them.

        He was in the hospital signing over more of his money one afternoon, and Stone said, "Let's stop by daycare and see if Christina's there."

        Sonny calculated the odds, decided that it was likely that she wouldn't be there and even if she were Chris wouldn't be, and agreed.  He and Stone went to the daycare room and found Christina on the floor with a busybox.  They sat down with her.  Sonny was surprised to realize how greatly he'd missed her.  He doubted that she would even recognize him.

        "What are you doing here?"

        "What are you doing here?" Stone asked, on his feet before Sonny could say a word.  Sonny stood, facing Scott Baldwin as Stone said, "You can't be here.  There's a restraining order-"

        Restraining order?

        "And what are you doing here?" Scott returned.  "How can I be a danger to Christina if you're allowed to be near her?"  He was talking to Sonny, who hadn't spoken but was definitely about to.  "Ramsey lets her live with you, she gets shot at!"

        "You're the one who can't come within a hundred feet of her," Stone said.

        "Go ahead, call the cops, if you dare," Scott said.  "I'd be glad to talk to them about who Ramsey invites near Christina."

        "You're a lawyer," Stone said.  "You know what happens to people who violate court orders.  You might want to leave."

        "You first."

        One of the daycare workers had taken Christina away from the three men, and Sonny realized that this might not be the best place for a confrontation.  "Let's go," he told Stone.  Then he saw Chris walking into the room.

        "Ramsey," Scott said.

        Chris walked straight to the phone on the wall.  "This is Dr. Ramsey.  I need security in second floor daycare."

        "Oh, great, Ramsey, call your goons," Scott said.  "Tell them to call the police on their way.  We have a situation, here."

        Chris came over to them.  "I'd like you to leave," he told Scott.

        "But Sonny gets to stay, because he's such a pillar of the community and a great guy and a great influence on kids!" Scott exclaimed.

        "Yes," Chris said.  "I am Christina's guardian, and I have the right to choose appropriate companions for her.  If Sonny or Stone wants to spend time with Christina, I have no arguments.  You do not have the right to be within a hundred yards of Christina Ramsey, and I want you to leave.  We are alarming the children.  Coming in here and causing a scene is not a good way for you to prove that you could ever be a good influence."  Something started to beep.  It was Chris.  "I have to go to the E.R.," he said as the security men entered.  "Please escort Mr. Baldwin to the parking lot," he said.  "Stone, Sonny," and he left.

        As Scott left with the guards, Stone said to Sonny, "Can we stay here for a minute?  I want to make sure Christina hasn't been scarred for life or anything."

        "Sure," Sonny said.  Chris would be too busy to come back, so they could remain briefly.

        Two days later, Sonny left the warehouse with Jason.  They walked across the docks together, talking, followed by their security.  "We're picking up Michael?" he asked.

        "Yeah," Jason said.  "He's with Mike."  They kept walking.  Sonny eventually asked, "Where are we going?  Mike lives two blocks west."

        "Mike said they were going to the park and then to Chris' apartment."

        "So you've got us walking all over town?"

        "It isn't far."

        "I'm going to get the limo and meet you at home."

        "Sonny.  Walk with me," Jason said.  Sonny shook his head but remained at Jason's side.

        Chris' new building was nice.  The doorman seemed to know Jason, and they went right inside and up in the elevator.  Chris lived on the fifth floor.  Jason knocked; Mike opened the door and stepped outside with Michael; Sonny was shoved hard from behind and the door closed at his back.

        He turned fast and grabbed the doorknob.  It wouldn't turn beneath his hand.  He turned around and looked.  It was a normal apartment, a little bigger than he'd expected, decorated in light colors and sleek modern styles.  He glanced through doorways: kitchen, bathroom, Christina's room, all empty.  Then he opened another door.

        It was dark in here, no lights, curtains closed.  Judging from the furniture, it was a bedroom.  Chris' bedroom.  From the light coming in from behind him, he could see that the room was occupied.  On the bed, asleep, lying on one side, absolutely naked with scarlet sheets pushed down, was Chris.  Not wanting to disturb Chris, Sonny pulled the door shut again, but this time he, too, was in the room.  What the fuck are you doing, Michael Corinthos?  He walked closer to the bed, looking carefully.  Chris slept heavily, peacefully, probably exhausted from hard work saving lives.

        Sonny crouched down before the bed, running his dark eyes over Chris.  Soft mouth, flat nipples, heavy limp cock.  While he was on the floor, he unlaced his shoes, removed his shoes and socks.  He dropped his coat, unbuttoned his shirt, and kept going until he was entirely naked.  Then he moved around to the other side of the bed and knelt, coming up behind Chris, running a hand over Chris' hip and forward along Chris' waist until his palm rested flat over Chris' navel.

        Chris rolled, moving towards him, until they were facing each other.  He slid his hand around to Chris' back, came closer until their bodies touched, legs mingling, torso to torso.  Chris' eyes fluttered a moment, then opened.  "Sonny."

        He kissed Chris.  Chris let him.  He fucked Chris.  Chris let him.  He dropped to his back, hand over his eyes.

        "How'd you get in here?" Chris asked.

        "Mike."

        "Mike?  He and Michael left...  Mike said they were leaving, and I went into the kitchen, and then I came here and..."

        "Where's Christina?"

        "Stone offered to baby-sit.  Lesley Lu was going to have a tea party and she needed more guests, so he was going to take Christina and Joey.  This was a set-up?"

        "You weren't in on it?"

        "No."

        "You didn't stop me."

        "You started it.  You find yourself in my apartment so you fuck me?"

        "You were naked."

        "I was asleep, not making come-hither poses and batting my lashes, Sonny.  I haven't made a pass at you and I won't.  One too many rejections finally got it through to me that you don't want me."

        "I don't want you so I just had sex with you?"

        "You started it, why don't you tell me what's going on here?"

        "You didn't come."

        "I'd really rather not, anyway.  Not with you."

        "You didn't stop me from screwing you."

        "No, I didn't.  In fact, thank you for screwing me.  It was an eye-opening experience.  You think that I began a vast conspiracy to get you into my bed?  I want you, Sonny, but I'm not going to make up ways to get you near me.  Maybe your old girlfriends were into unending manipulations and machinations, but I'm over that behavior."

        "Mike never gave you the present."

        "What present?  The last time he gave me something was at Christmas."

        "You want me?"

        "Yes."

        "Have you been with anyone else?"

        "Maybe you should have thought of that before you shoved your dick in me without a condom.  No, I haven't been with anyone else since I was with you."

        "Why not?"

        "Because I want you, Sonny."

        "You're a one-man man?"

        "Yes."

        "What about Julie?"

        "I love Julie."

        "You love Julie, you want me."

        "How do you feel about me, Sonny?  Do you care about me at all?  Or are you just horny and you want a naked body?  Do you think about me at all?  Did you ever think that I was more than somebody whose body was conveniently placed in your bed?"

        "I care about you.  I want you."

        "I'm more than a good fuck?"

        "You're a very good fuck.  You're the best fuck I've ever had."

        Chris left the bed.

        "I care about you more than I cared about Hannah."

        Chris turned, facing him.

        "I want to keep you safe more than I ever felt protective of Karen."

        Chris sat on the edge of the bed, watching him closely.

        "I'm more obsessed with you than I ever was with Brenda."

        "Sonny..."

        "I love you more than I ever loved Lily."

        "Sonny..."

        "I want you.  I'm in love with you."

        "I want you," Chris said.  "I'm in love with you.  You're such a bastard."

        "You're in love with me.  That's why you wouldn't leave."

        "You wanted me to leave because you cared," Chris said.  "I understood that, Sonny.  You're very fucked up."  Chris climbed on top of him and kissed him, deep, hands sliding down his body.  "I don't know why I ever fell in love with you.  You give me more headaches than Julie ever did."

        "Gotta be better than Courtney," Sonny said, and pushed his tongue into Chris' mouth.  Chris chuckled and sucked on his tongue, settling against his body.

        They made love again, then cleaned and dressed and ate and talked.  Chris would move back into the penthouse, Sonny would try not to be a complete idiot, and Sonny would never, ever, raise a hand to Chris again.

        And so: Chris moved back into the penthouse.  They had a commitment ceremony.  They raised Christina and Joey together.  They lived happily ever after.

        The end.