KB
Copyright February 10-18, 2003
Rating: NC-17 for graphic male-male sex
Pairings: Nick Carter/Chris Kirkpatrick, Kevin Richardson/JC Chasez
Disclaimer: The young men who comprise the Backstreet Boys and *NSYNC are their own people. The author has not met anyone here described, nor does the author mean to suggest that these people act this way in real life. This writing is a work of fiction. I make no money from this venture.
Wherein Chris has eaten chocolate, smelled flowers, and drunk champagne.
Notice: Credit for this one, in the end, goes to Bella, for telling me to put it on the site.
AJ and Ashley. Snort. Kevin gave that relationship another five minutes at the most.
Nick was an adult. He could handle a simple Valentine's Day alone. He'd be fine. Kevin would call him, he'd be all right, and Kevin could go out that night with a clear conscience.
"Hello."
"Nick. Are you all right?"
"Yeah, I'm fine. What's up?"
"What are you doing tonight?"
"Watching movies you hate. What are you doing? Is there some big romantic evening happening?"
"We're going out to dinner," Kevin said. Nick sounded fine. He was calm, casually interested, and seemed content. Kevin started to worry about him. "Do you want me to come over?"
"For what?" Nick asked.
"I was thinking about stopping by. Before I pick up JC."
"If you want to," Nick said. "I'm not doing anything."
Kevin didn't want Nick to feel lonely. Not on Valentine's Day. Not ever. "I'll be over later."
"Okay," Nick said.
Kevin took his time. He always took good care of himself in general, but showering and dressing to see JC required special attention. If he missed a spot shaving, JC's tongue would find it.
He'd reserved the most quiet,
most remote table at their favorite place; it was a secluded, round booth
where they could find privacy, even intimacy. He was anticipating
it already: quiet conversation, smooth wine, JC's eyes by candlelight.
He'd eat too slowly; JC would eat too quickly; he'd find some excuse to
touch JC's hair; JC would gradually slide closer to him; he'd listen more
to the way JC talked than to what JC was saying, and lose the thread of
conversation; JC would start to touch him frequently while gesturing.
They'd fight over who was going to pay. Kevin would pay. On
the way home, they'd speak briefly of this and that while JC played with
Kevin's car stereo. When they got back to JC's place, or Kevin's
place, they'd make love on every available surface. JC's place had
better carpeting, so floor sex was better there; but Kevin had more fireplaces,
and making love in front of a fireplace was becoming their favorite pastime.
"Thank you."
"Trying to impress somebody?"
"JC's already impressed."
"What time are you picking him up?"
"Eight."
"Need to give him an extra hour to fix his hair?" Nick asked. "Hey, you want something to eat?"
"No," Kevin said. "Thanks. Who sent you flowers?"
"Brian and Howie." Nick resumed his seat on the couch. "Where are you going, anyway?"
"Lombardo's."
"Damn. Are you paying?"
"I always pay."
"Really? Always? Why?"
"Because I always win the argument."
"AJ always pays when he and Ashley go out, too. Brian and Howie do that thing about whoever did the inviting does the paying."
"How do...did...you decide?"
"Tic-tac-toe," Nick said. "We do it on the back of the bill. Whoever wins, pays. Or else, we recite the Pledge of Allegiance. Whoever says it faster, pays."
Kevin could see the two of them, Nick and Chris, sitting in the back corner table in Lombardo's, playing a fierce game of tic-tac-toe, jostling for elbow room.
"You don't have to past-tense him," Nick said. "We're still friends."
"Are you talking to him?" Kevin asked.
"Yeah," Nick said. "Sometimes." He sounded subdued, and he looked down to avoid Kevin's gaze.
"Nick," Kevin said, to get his attention. Nick looked up again. "What happened?"
"Nothing," Nick said. "It's no big deal. I thought we had a thing we didn't. I thought we were, I don't know, boyfriends or something. I was being exclusive, thinking we were a couple, having these ideas in my head about what we were doing together. He was thinking we were having a good time, but he was having the same good time with other people."
"He cheated on you," Kevin said.
"He didn't cheat on me," Nick said. "It's not cheating if you're not exclusive in the first place."
"You thought you were exclusive."
"He didn't," Nick said. "That's all it was. I thought we were doing one thing, and he thought we were doing something else. When we figured it out, we decided to drop it all down to just being friends."
"And you haven't heard from him since."
"We've talked. It's just that whenever we talk, I want the same old stuff again. I start missing the way it used to be. I think he knows, and that's why he stopped calling."
"I'm sorry," Kevin said.
"Yeah," Nick said. "It sucks. I don't know if I love him, or if I just like having someone my own age to play with, or what." He shrugged. "Love is weird. Besides my family, there are only four people I know for sure I love and am gonna love forever."
Kevin gave Nick's knee a reassuring squeeze.
"Are you in love with JC?" Nick asked.
"Yes," Kevin said. "I'm in love with him."
"How do you know?"
"I feel it when I look into his eyes," Kevin said. "I feel it when I hear his voice over the phone. Something inside me...locks into place."
"I don't have to ask about the sex," Nick said. "I know you guys screw nonstop."
Kevin smiled.
"I do miss the sex," Nick said. "It's so freaking good."
"With Chris?" Kevin asked.
"It's fun," Nick said. "You take sex too seriously. It's a normal, everyday thing. It should be fun. Chris and I play in bed."
"Maybe you should start dating again," Kevin said.
"I thought about it," Nick said. "It's weird. It's like I lost more than just someone I was dating. Chris was like my fifth best friend. Even if I do date, I can't replace that."
"The rest of us can try to make up for it."
"Yeah, but you're all busy. You have JC, Brian and Howie have each other, and AJ has what's-his-face to deal with."
"Ashley."
"Whoever. You're all busy."
"We're not too busy for you."
"Are you getting mushy?"
"No, I'm stating a fact," Kevin said. "No matter who else is in your life, you have us. Even if we're acting busy, call us."
"Okay."
"Want to go out tomorrow?"
"No, you should spend time with JC. Maybe the day after."
"I'll call you."
"Okay."
Kevin kissed Nick's cheek. "Happy Valentine's Day."
"Happy Valentine's Day,"
Nick said, and smiled at him.
JC's thigh pressed against his.
Kevin toasted love.
JC looked beautiful by candlelight.
Kevin gave JC a diamond ankle bracelet.
JC toasted Kevin.
Kevin ran his fingers through
JC's hair and memorized the promises in JC's eyes.
He didn't really care that it was Valentine's Day. He didn't miss Chris any more or less than he had yesterday or would tomorrow. It was, however, fairly sucky that every last one of the fellas was talking love and getting laid while he was home alone with his right hand.
Nick had broken up with people before. Sometimes it was easy and forgettable; sometimes it was angry and painful. Sometimes they hit him. Sometimes he cursed them out. Sometimes they cried. Sometimes he cried.
This time, it wasn't dramatic. It wasn't exciting. It just was. And he hurt. And Chris, who'd sworn they'd remain friends, never called anymore.
Maybe Nick would call Chris. It was worth a shot. Chris might answer for once.
No, Chris was probably out with someone. Maybe out with Michelle, the one he'd heard on Chris's answering machine. Maybe out with Jenna, the one he'd found in Chris's bed. Maybe out with someone new.
Brian and Howie were gazing at Hawaiian sunsets together. AJ was getting laid. Kevin was in love with Chris's best friend. And Nick was at home, alone, on Valentine's Day, missing Chris.
Nick slumped on the sofa and stared at the blue DVD logo onscreen. Sucky, sucky life.
What did it take, anyway? What was everyone else doing? They were all getting it right, finding someone, being happy. Nick had found someone, but the someone wasn't interested. How did everyone else do it? What was he doing wrong?
Maybe he shouldn't have fallen for Chris. Yeah, well, too late now.
It was well past midnight, and Nick was on movie two of an Austin Powers marathon, when the phone rang. He sucked Cheetos fuzz off his fingers, found the phone, and said, "Hello."
"Hi, NC."
"CK?" That was when Nick felt it. There was an internal click as everything locked into place. It was just like Kevin had said it would be. He was in love with Chris.
"Happy Valentine's Day."
"Happy Valentine's Day," Nick repeated. "Are you..." drunk high in bed with someone in love with Nick busy nearby "...whispering?"
"I've eaten chocolate, smelled flowers, drunk champagne, and screwed a redhead. I'm calling from said redhead's bathroom. She's asleep."
"Why?" Nick asked.
"Why what?"
"Why are you calling?"
"Can I come over?"
"Aren't you busy?"
"Can I come over?"
"Yeah. You want to watch Austin Powers?"
"Ace Ventura?"
"I'll have 'im ready when you get here."
"I'm on my way."
Nick hung up and backed up the movie to see the part he'd missed.
When the doorbell rang, Nick got up and opened the door. "Hey."
"Hi." Chris looked the same, only tired and like he'd just rolled out of someone else's bed. Nick let him in. He was running his jacket zipper up and down, up and down. "You look good."
"You look like shit," Nick said.
"It's a look," Chris said. "Have a big Valentine's Day celebration? Big date?"
"No," Nick said. "It's been any other night."
Chris nodded, continuing to play with his zipper. "You look good," he said again, apparently really meaning it. His gaze when he looked at Nick was a little too intense.
"You still look like shit. Maybe you should go home and go to bed."
"Will you be my valentine?"
"What?"
"I want you to be my date for Valentine's Day."
"Valentine's Day is over. We're into the fifteenth, now."
"Then will you be my date for February fifteenth?"
"Why?"
"Because in every way there is, I like you better than anyone else I know. I want you to be my girlfriend."
"I'm a guy."
"I want you to be my boyfriend."
"For February fifteenth?"
"For forever."
"Are you serious?"
"Yes."
Nick put his hand on Chris's hand to still the zipper. He got Chris to look him in the eyes. "Are you serious?"
Chris nodded. "Yes." His fingers curled around Nick's. His voice was plaintive. "Please?"
"Okay." Nick kissed him. He tasted like chocolate on top and Chris underneath, and he still made that quick wanting noise against Nick's tongue. "Take a shower and meet me in the bedroom."
Chris shuffled off down the
hall and around the corner, talking to himself. "I did it.
I did it! I said it and I asked him and he said yes! I did
it! He said yes!"
Kevin leaned in, kissing one naked shoulder. "I love you." He slid his hand down JC's back, watching JC sleep. Watching JC exist. "I really do."
"Mmm." JC turned his head, looking at Kevin through sleep-narrowed eyes, letting Kevin see a streak of blue between the fringe of lashes. "Happy Valentine's Day."
Kevin kissed him, and JC's hand rose to the back of Kevin's head. JC's other hand skimmed down Kevin's bared chest and found a belt loop, tugging him in, inviting him to share JC's space. Kevin moved closer, joining JC among the blankets and pillows, lured by JC's slow seduction of his mouth.
"What were you saying?" JC asked, breaking for breath just long enough to ask before returning to their kiss.
"I don't remember," Kevin said, unable to think of anything but the slow rocking of JC's pelvis against his.
"You were telling me you love me," JC said, as his hand unzipped Kevin's pants.
"That's right," Kevin remembered, wanting to press JC back into the cushions.
JC's foot rubbed up Kevin's calf. "So say it."
Kevin kissed behind JC's ear and towards his hairline. The thick waves of JC's hair smelled like JC's shampoo. "I love you."
"One more time," JC said, his voice soft and insistent while he rolled to his back and pulled Kevin overtop of himself.
"I love you," Kevin said, covering JC's body with his own.
Slowly, as he rocked his hips to slide his erection against Kevin's, "One more time."
"I love you," Kevin promised, picking up JC's rhythm, groaning out his own pleasure as he felt ecstasy's tension build in JC's body.
JC put his head back, the tendons in his neck exposed, his eyes closing as he fought erotic release. His taut "oh" of suffering pleasure made Kevin's balls tighten. Heat throbbed between them and Kevin's cockhead spat pre-cum as their hard erections slid together. JC's kiss begged Kevin for a thorough fucking.
Kevin gave in to his lust's desires and pinned JC down, raising JC's knee, glimpsing a quick glimmer as the firelight caught the bracelet on JC's ankle. No matter how many times he made love to JC, he would always feel that need to do it again, come back for more, never get enough. There was no enough, not for Kevin, not when it came to JC.
JC kissed Kevin, his hand sliding from Kevin's hair to cup the side of Kevin's face. JC whispered Kevin's name, stealing another long kiss, then another, while his hips rocked encouragingly against Kevin's full erection and his thumb rubbed over the hollow just below Kevin's left cheekbone.
Then JC twisted with shocking grace in that close space, against Kevin's chest, between Kevin's legs, until he faced away. Kevin put a hand on his hip, to make sure that he was real. One kiss to JC's spine, then two, then three, and JC's ass was pushing back against Kevin's erect cock, impatient.
Tight against JC's back,
Kevin thrust into JC, going deep. JC's head came back, and Kevin
put his cheek to JC's shoulder, kissing JC's neck. The hand that
wasn't supporting his weight came to JC's chest, skimming down and finding
JC's cock. JC bucked in his arms, and Kevin's hips drove faster.
"Why weren't you answering the phone?" Nick asked.
"What? Oh. I knew it was you, and I was avoiding you, because I was repressing my feelings of love. I have feelings of love for you. And other feelings, too, the love ones aren't all I have. I can give you a great deal on lust, confusion, happiness, fear, desire, and hope. So, yeah, I'm in love with you, but I was trying to convince myself I wasn't, because you're male and that's different. But hey, different is good. Being with you is good. Being without you totally sucks. Sucks massively. Did you notice that? How us being apart was bad in every way?"
"It sucked," Nick agreed. "You're in love with me?"
"Yeah," Chris said. "I hope you're okay with that, because it's not going to change."
Nick kissed him. "I'm
okay with that." Another kiss, and Nick started to lower Chris to
his back.
It wasn't the way JC said Kevin's name when Kevin's sure hand wrapped around his cock.
It wasn't the way JC groaned in that demanding way to get Kevin to fuck him harder.
It wasn't even the way JC moaned in that pornographic way before he came, that too-good too-sexual way that, to Kevin, inside, felt just as good as suction on the head of his dick.
It was the way JC murmured "I love you" right by his ear, then slept in his arms so he could listen to JC breathe all night long.
That was the number one reason Kevin knew he'd do everything he had to do to make sure that he was with JC again next year on Valentine's Day.
And the year after that, too.
JC turned in his embrace, facing him now. The firelight highlighted JC's cheekbones and made his eyes glow. "I almost forgot," JC said. "I wanted to make one more toast."
"I don't want to get up to get more wine," Kevin said.
"You don't have to," JC said. "To us." Soft kiss. "Next year." Sweet kiss.
"How did you know?" Kevin asked, resisting the lure of JC's mouth in favor of the question.
"How did I know what?" JC asked.
"That's what I was thinking. Us, next year."
JC's hips hitched against Kevin's, a minute adjustment for comfort, but enough to remind Kevin, in one heated flash, of all of the promises of JC's body. "I don't know. Maybe it's proof that it'll happen."
"If it does," Kevin said, "I'd like to do this again."
"Make love?" JC asked, smiling.
"No," Kevin said. "Yes," he corrected himself, and JC's smile increased, "but a new tradition, started right here. A toast," he kissed JC, "with a kiss."
"A toast with a kiss," JC repeated, and kissed him back. A second kiss, longer. A third kiss, deeper. "It's easier than champagne, cheaper than wine, and mmm. Oh." His hand came between their bodies, stroking up the shaft of Kevin's hardening arousal.
"And?" Kevin prompted, thrusting gently into JC's hand.
"And it tastes much, much
better..."