Adam
Copyright August 26-29, 2000 by Matthew Haldeman-Time
Rating: R for sex talk and male-male kissage
Pairings: Justin Timberlake/JC Chasez, Jeff Timmons/Drew Lachey, Nick Lachey/Nick Carter, and Brian Littrell/Lance Bass
Disclaimer: The young men who comprise *NSYNC, 98 Degrees, and the Backstreet Boys are their own people. The author has not met anyone here described, nor does the author mean to suggest that these people act this way in real life. This writing is a work of fiction. I make no money from this venture.
Dedication: This slashfic is for Ewan McGregor, for the Savage Garden slashers, and for Savage Garden and the Backstreet Boys for winning nothing at the Teen Choice Awards 2000.
Wherein the reader will find quick and cheap writing, quick and unlikely relationship beginnings, and no quick and dirty sex.
Notice: I watched the Teen Choice Awards 2000 to see 98 Degrees perform. The evening turned out to be an hour-long tribute to Justin Timberlake. This slashfic is going to rip off that awards ceremony, but you don't need to have seen it to read this story. When Nick Carter and Nick Lachey are in the same scene, Nick Carter is Nick and Nick Lachey is Nick Lachey. The leather pants tightness quotation is based on something that Justin Timberlake actually said about himself in a TV Guide interview; I'm not that original.
"We've lost before," Brian said.
"To them!" AJ shouted, flinging his hand in the direction of where *NSYNC had been sitting. "We lost to them!"
"Is Justin hotter than I am?" Nick asked. "He's not hotter than I am."
"He's hot, you're beautiful, it's a different thing," Brian said.
"We lost to them," AJ said. "That's it. Teenagers have no taste. Bad taste. Teenagers have bad taste."
"There's no way that that Nick-Jessica duet is better than us," Howie said.
"I've never even heard that song," Kevin admitted.
"See?!" AJ shouted, jumping to his feet.
"Let's go backstage and say congratulations," Kevin said.
"Let's go backstage and say fuck you," AJ suggested.
"That wouldn't be professional," Kevin said.
"It would feel good," Howie said.
"I'm going to say congratulations," Kevin said. "You can stay here and pout."
"I don't pout," AJ said. "Pouting isn't cool."
"AJ's way cool," Brian said.
"Thank you," AJ said.
"You think Justin's hot?" Nick asked.
"Let's go," Brian said, standing and pulling Nick along down the aisle. "You need a new topic of conversation."
"Just because he's younger than I am. And has a better body."
"We are not talking about that," Brian said. They hit the backstage, where crowds of famous people and famous people's entourages were being noisy. Their noted friends and rivals, *NSYNC and 98 Degrees, were there in the mass. 98 Degrees was off in one corner watching a tape of the performance; three members of *NSYNC were talking with Britney Spears, while Justin Timberlake and JC Chasez were off across the crowd.
"Congratulations," JC said to Justin.
"For what?" Justin asked.
"Being the hottest guy on the planet this year."
"Thanks," Justin said, and grinned. "JC, you know I'm totally not. It's really flattering, and it's sort of scary, but I'm not."
"Sure you are."
"What, you're serious?" Justin asked with surprise.
"Why not?" JC asked.
"There are tons of good-looking people who could have won. Look at yourself in those tight black pants."
"They're not that tight."
"They're so tight you're having sex with yourself."
"They are not!" JC flicked Justin's shoulder.
"Quick, hide," Justin said.
"Why?" JC asked.
"Hey, Nick, Brian," Justin said.
"Congratulations," Brian said.
"Thanks," Justin said.
Brian smacked Nick's arm.
"Congratulations," Nick muttered.
Justin smiled. "Can't we all just get along?"
"We are," Nick said. "This is us getting along."
"Hey, guys," Chris Kirkpatrick said, joining them. "I'm sorry that Justin's hotter than you are," he said to Nick. "At least you were nominated."
There was a shout.
"What is going on over there?" JC asked, looking over heads across the crowd.
"Let's be nosey and find out," Chris suggested.
"Who's shouting?" Justin asked.
"Someone from 98 Degrees," Nick guessed.
"Then as brothers in the boy band genre, it's our duty - - forget it, I'm just nosey, let's go," and Chris led the way across the room. When they reached 98 Degrees standing before a video onscreen, Joey Fatone and Lance Bass were there already. "What's with the yelling?" Chris asked.
"We've been asked to watch this," Lance said. "Drew thinks that Jeff's..."
"Being dirty," Joey finished for him.
"We're being impartial observers," Lance added.
"What are we looking for?" Justin asked.
"Right there!" Drew Lachey said, pointing to the screen. The song ended, and the female dancers crouched before the Degrees, and as Jeff Timmons's dancer slid down Jeff looked down, and there was the most satisfied look on his face.
"Wow," Nick said.
"What?" Chris asked.
"You do know she's only down there because you're paying her," Drew told Jeff.
"That's cold," JC told Drew.
"I thought it was funny," Joey told JC.
"What?" Chris asked.
"I don't know," Justin told Chris.
"The girl got down on her knees in front of him, he looked down at her like he was putting her in her place and she belonged right there, we all know what guys like to happen when girls kneel down in front of them," Joey told Justin and Chris.
"He does look sort of smug," Lance admitted.
"The camera does not lie, man, and you were having dirty thoughts on national network television," Nick told Jeff.
"Back me up here," Drew said to Nick Lachey and Justin Jeffre.
"I'm staying out of it," Justin Jeffre said. "Whatever's going on in Jeff's head is his business."
"We're supposed to be analyzing our performance, not Jeff's...sexual interests," Nick Lachey said.
"That means they agree with me but they don't want to say so," Drew told the others.
"Do you even know her?" Brian asked Jeff.
"I am out of here," Jeff said. "I am leaving. You and your weird perversions can stay here," he told Drew.
"My weird perversions!" Drew exclaimed. "I'm weird and perverted?"
Jeff gave him a false smile and walked away from them.
"You guys heading to the party?" Nick Lachey asked the other two groups.
"We thought about it," Justin Timberlake said. "You guys going?"
"Kevin's busy, AJ and Howie aren't in the mood, but Brian and I were going to go," Nick said. "You guys going?"
"Yeah," Nick Lachey said.
"We are?" Drew asked. "Right. We are."
"I thought we weren't," Justin Jeffre said.
"Nick's changed his mind, and we should support his decisions," Drew said. "We're going. We'll see you there. Let's go find Jeff."
"You go find Jeff," Justin Jeffre said. "You made him leave in the first place."
"I did not," Drew said. "He went off to get that girl's phone number."
"Go," Nick Lachey ordered.
Drew sighed and moved off through the crowd. He signed a few autographs and asked a few questions and found Jeff standing in a concrete hallway, deserted save a clean-up crew member with a trash bag. "Hey."
Jeff nodded. "Hey."
"Mad at me?"
"A little."
"You were having dirty thoughts."
"Not about her."
"I know."
"You don't know."
"I know." The trash bag person exited. Drew brushed a kiss over Jeff's lips. "Come on, Nick wants to go to the party."
"I thought we weren't going," Jeff said. "He changed his mind?"
"Nick's going."
"But... Oh. Nick's going."
"Right."
"Because Nick's going."
"Right."
Jeff smiled. "He's like a junior high kid with a crush."
"Give me some sugar, Sugar."
Jeff kissed him. "Let's go. No smooching in public, you know better."
"Mad at me?"
"Not mad at all, as long as you promise never to do that to me in public again."
"Stop having dirty thoughts on camera."
"I was not-"
"You were. You were looking down and she was going down and-"
"I wasn't thinking about her."
"I know. You were picturing someone else."
"You'd look so good down there," Jeff said.
"Jeff, don't do this to me."
Jeff took a moment, gave an apologetic smile, and said, "Let's go. Nick wants to party."
The after-party was being held in a private nightclub, Callum's, with strobe lighting and tight bodies and expensive drinks. When 98 Degrees walked in, the four of them managed to evade well-wishers and groupies to find a rare vacant booth. Jeff sat on the inside with Drew beside him, Justin across from Jeff and Nick across from Drew. "Anybody interesting here?" Drew asked.
"Well, look," Jeff said with nicely faked surprise, "I think I see Nick Carter."
"Is that Nick Carter?" Drew asked.
"I believe it is," Jeff said.
"Dancing," Drew said.
"Is that what you call that?" Justin asked.
Jeff laughed and kicked Justin under the table. Justin kicked him back and Drew said, "Why don't you go out and dance, Nick?"
"I need a drink," Nick said.
"I'll go get us some water," Drew said, rising. "You stay there," he told Jeff.
"Where am I going to go?" Jeff asked.
"I don't want some cute blonde walking off with you," Drew said, and left.
"Does he mean one of the Britney-Christina-Jessica-Mandy cute blondes or one of the Justin-Nick-Lance cute blondes?" Justin asked.
"Speaking of," Jeff said.
"Hey," and Nick was standing by their booth. "You're just sitting here?"
"Drew's getting us water," Nick Lachey said.
"Way to feel the vibe, guys," Nick said. "You should get out and dance."
"We're old people," Jeff said. "Give us a few minutes."
"You'd better be out on the floor soon or I'll come back for you," Nick said, and was off again.
Nick Lachey put his face in his hands.
"Yeah, that was really impressive," Justin said.
"Charmed his pants right off," Jeff said.
"Shut up," Nick said.
"Drew's getting us some water," Justin said.
"Lame," Jeff said.
"So lame," Justin agreed.
"But he's coming back," Jeff pointed out.
"Was that a threat?" Justin asked.
"You'd better put on your dancing shoes," Jeff told Nick.
"You could tell him that you don't know how to dance," Justin suggested.
"Ask him to teach you," Jeff suggested.
"He'll start off with the easy stuff."
"Slow dancing."
"Slow, soft music, a love ballad, something romantic."
"The lights will be low."
"He'll hold you close."
"You'll hold him closer."
"His body next to yours..."
"His breath at your ear..."
"And he'll whisper."
"Softly."
"'Nick.'"
"'I'm twenty years old and about as mature as peanut butter!'" Jeff shouted, slamming his palm on the tabletop.
"Which will ruin the moment and bring you back to earth," Justin said.
"It's just as well," Jeff said.
Drew passed around bottled water, taking his seat at Jeff's side. "What'd I miss?"
"Nick stopped by," Justin said.
"Wow," Drew said. "So?"
"So he wants us to leave our boring table and get out there and dance," Jeff said.
"So let's go dance," Drew said.
"I'm only twenty-six," Nick said.
"You'll be twenty-seven soon," Justin said.
"What'd I miss?" Drew asked again.
"I'll turn twenty-seven, he'll turn twenty-one," Nick said. "It's only six years."
"Ah, the age difference issue," Drew said. "As though the guy-guy issue weren't enough."
"There's also the personality issue," Justin said. "And the aforementioned maturity issue."
"I hate you both," Nick said.
"Not me, though, right?" Drew asked. "Here, drink up. Sit here and hydrate and pine. Moon. Obsess."
Brian was at their table. "Hide me."
"From what?" Nick asked.
"Nick."
"Since when do you hide from Nick?" Drew asked.
"*NSYNC's here and he doesn't like them," Brian said.
"So you should hide from them," Jeff said.
"You're not going to help me, are you?" Brian asked.
"Nope," Justin said.
"Thanks." Brian sighed and left.
Jeff watched the dance floor. He found Chris, Joey, and Lance at various places dancing with girls. Where were Justin and JC? Ah, there, he caught a glimpse. They were dancing, together, in fact. Not just side-by-side or near each other, they were dancing together. In each other's personal space. "Drew."
"What?" Drew asked.
"The Hottie of the Year is dancing with JC."
"So?"
"The male Hottie of the Year," Jeff clarified.
"What? Where?" Drew looked around quickly. "Wow. Hello."
"They do realize that they're in public, don't they?" Justin asked.
"I'm not going to look," Nick said.
"You're missing a lot," Drew said.
"I didn't know that they were that close," Jeff said.
"I didn't know that anybody was that close," Drew said. "Why don't we dance like that?"
"You wouldn't respect yourself in the morning," Jeff said.
"Are they dancing together because they're together, or because they're not together?" Drew asked.
"What?" Nick asked.
"Are they dancing together because they're an out gay couple, or because they're straight best friends and it doesn't occur to them - - or doesn't matter to them - - that they might be seen as gay?" Drew asked.
"We could ask," Justin suggested.
"We could leave them alone," Nick suggested.
"We could hide," Jeff said.
"Why?" Nick asked.
"Hey." Nick crouched down and rested his chin and crossed arms on the tabletop. "You're still not out there dancing."
"I broke my hip," Jeff said.
"I stubbed my toes helping Jeff up," Justin said.
"I'm allergic to the dance floor," Drew said. "But Nick loves to dance."
"Come on, we'll find you a pretty girl to dance with," Nick said, rising.
"Go," Drew said to Nick Lachey.
"Now," Jeff said.
"Please," Justin said.
Nick Lachey stood. "Just one dance."
"Then we'll make it good. What kind of girl do you want?" Nick asked.
"He likes blondes," Jeff said with a smile.
"Tall blondes," Drew added.
"Blue eyes are good," Justin said.
"Long legs," Jeff said.
"Shut up," Nick Lachey said, and walked away from them. Nick shrugged and followed. The seated members of 98 Degrees watched the Nicks stand ever so casually talking by the side of the dance floor. Brian and Lance joined the Nicks. Two young women came over, girls really, and there was a moment of smiling and introducing, and then Nick Lachey and Brian were dancing with the girls. Nick and Lance found a table. JC joined them. The three Degrees watched the dancers.
"So Justin dances like that with everybody," Drew guessed, watching Justin Timberlake and a slender Asian girl.
"Well, Nick got a long-legged blonde," Justin said.
"The wrong one," Drew said.
"The wrong gender," Jeff said.
"She's pretty," Drew said.
"You go dance with her," Jeff said.
"You go dance with her," Drew told Justin.
"Can we go home instead?" Justin asked.
"Good idea," Jeff said.
"We're here to support Nick," Drew said.
"Nick's fine," Jeff said.
"Except that he's miserable," Justin said.
"All right, let me go rescue him," Jeff said.
"Where are you going?" Drew asked.
"Where are we going," Jeff corrected.
"Good luck," Justin said.
"I'm not going anywhere," Drew said.
"At least let me out of the booth," Jeff said.
"Good riddance," Drew muttered, rising.
"You wish." Jeff grabbed Drew's hand and dragged Drew across the club. Drew decided not to throw a fit in public; he wrenched his hand free but followed. They made it through the press of dancers to Nick and the blonde. "Dance with her," Jeff told Drew.
"No," Drew said.
"Come on, Nick," Jeff said, joining the dancing couple, hand on Nick's shoulder, "give your little brother a chance. Excuse me," he told the girl, and pulled Nick away, leaving Drew there with her. He stepped off of the dance floor, coincidence of coincidences, directly in front of the Nick-Lance-JC table. "Hey."
"How was it?" Nick asked Nick Lachey.
"Hot and sweaty," Nick Lachey said. "I'm letting Drew take over for me."
"Can only one 98 Degree dance at a time?" Lance asked.
"Explains why our concerts suck," Jeff said. "Hey, hey, someone was going to say it, it might as well be me."
"You guys aren't having fun here, are you?" Lance asked.
"We're all for fun and parties and dancing," Nick Lachey said. "We're just not in the mood for mobs of strange people tonight."
"Why don't we just head over to my place?" Jeff asked. "You can all come if you want."
"We're not strange people?" JC asked.
"Some of us aren't," Nick said. "We'll just leave Chris and Joey here."
"Are you actually inviting us over to your place or are you just trying to leave?" Lance asked.
"I'm actually inviting you," Jeff said.
"Hey, cool," Nick said. "Lemme round up my posse."
"Your posse?" JC asked.
"The fellas," Nick said.
"Who?" Lance asked.
"Brian," Nick said. "So my posse's a little smaller today. Gimme a break." He left the table.
"Let's go round up our posse," JC said to Lance. "Meet you guys outside?"
"Sure, we just have to go rescue Drew," Nick said. He went to get Drew while Jeff went back to Justin. Justin laughed, declined the invitation, and went home. Jeff sighed; without Justin's help this might not go too well. He met Nick Lachey and Drew outside, to be joined by Nick and Brian, Justin, JC, and Lance.
"Chris and Joey are making some new friends," JC explained.
"Pretty long-haired female friends," Justin added.
"We're leaving them here," Lance said.
"We're leaving the limo here for them," Justin said. "Can we get rides with you guys?"
"Sure," Jeff said. "We'll take Lance, and then we'll put the front men of *NSYNC and the Backstreet Boys in a limo together and see who survives the ride."
"Yes, please let me come with you," Lance said.
"No, Lance is coming with us," Nick said. "You can have Justin."
"Thanks," Justin said. "I get to ride with the classy people."
"We're classy?" Drew asked.
"We're classy!" Brian protested.
"Totally," JC said.
"Just look at JC's pants," Nick said. "They scream 'class.'"
Justin smacked JC's butt and got in the 98 Degrees limo. "Come on, let's go."
JC got in the Backstreet Boys limo. "Come on, Lance, let's sit here and wallow in our lack of class." Lance, Nick, and Brian got in with him; their limo started up and followed the 98 Degrees limo. With a glance, Brian and JC switched seats so that Brian and Lance were sitting side-by-side. Brian's fingers laced through Lance's. Lance smiled and shifted to sit just a bit closer.
"Who's driving?" Brian asked Nick.
"Pete. Go for it."
Brian rested his head on Lance's shoulder. "Hi."
"Hi," Lance said.
"Missed you."
"Me too." Lance's free hand came up so that his fingers could sort through Brian's light brown hair. "This is getting longer."
"At least I comb mine," Brian said, with a glance at Nick.
"Without using a weed-whacker," JC added with his own glance at Nick.
"Have some respect," Nick said. "Are you guys going to use the bathroom at Jeff's place or go back to our hotel together or what?"
"We are not going to...that's really mature, Nick," Lance said. "He invites us over and we just lock ourselves in his bathroom to make out?"
"People will notice if Lance goes to the wrong hotel with the wrong band," JC said.
"So you're supposed to go another few months without seeing each other without even kissing once?" Nick asked. "That sucks."
"It really does," Lance said.
"I wish it did," Brian said with a sigh.
"Brian Thomas Littrell!" Nick said.
"I'll pretend that I didn't hear that," JC said.
"I'll pretend that I didn't understand it," Lance said.
"Sorry," Brian said. "Couldn't resist."
Their limo stopped a few minutes later. Brian let go of Lance and the four of them stepped out in front of Jeff's home, a trendy ranch house. Justin winked at Lance and followed the Degrees to the front door. Lance brushed his hand down Brian's back and followed.
"Down boy," Nick said to Brian.
Inside Jeff's home, the eight of them sat around the sunken living room with bottled water, mostly on the floor. "I feel bad," Justin said.
"What's in the water?" JC asked Jeff.
Justin smacked JC, who was sitting beside him in front of the sofa. "I mean for lying."
"To whom?" Jeff asked.
"Correct grammar, wow," Nick said.
"Earlier, at the ceremony... Britney and I aren't together anymore."
"You're not?" Brian asked.
"I broke up with her," Justin said. "Two weeks ago. We haven't issued a press release - - I mean, who bothers to call the tabloids after breaking up with somebody? So the fans still think we're together."
"So we're all single," Nick said. "Except Mr. Lachey, one year and seven months Mr. Jessica Simpson."
"One year and seven months," Lance said. "That's great."
"Must be hard," Brian said. "You're both so busy with recording and touring."
"We manage," Nick Lachey said.
"We've been talking about whether it's harder to date someone else in the industry or if it's easier to date someone who's not in it," Justin said. "You know, real people with real jobs can coordinate their schedules better to get a chance to see you. But someone else who's been there, who's in it, can understand better what you're going through and why you're so busy."
"And is it better to date someone else in the business or someone who works with you," JC said.
"Someone you work with, if it doesn't work out, it could get bad," Lance said.
"Really bad," Jeff said.
"Those female lead singers are always dating their bassists or something," Nick said. "If that messes up, the whole band's in trouble."
"But you work together, you tour together, you're with those people day in day out all of the time," Drew said.
"So, yeah, you get close to people, and everyone in this industry's good-looking, it makes sense, you get attracted," Justin said.
"Everyone in this industry's good-looking?" Drew asked.
"Look around the room, grab a mirror," Nick said.
"Yeah, well, Nick's one of the 50 Most Beautiful People in the World this year, and Justin's Hottie of the Year starting tonight, so they've already shoved up the attractiveness level in the room," Jeff said.
"We are not talking about that," Nick said.
"You don't like it?" Nick Lachey asked.
"Come on, like I'm so much more attractive than anyone else here," Nick said. "It's a popularity contest, and even that's stupid, because it's not like everybody likes me more than Brian or something."
"Really?" Lance asked. "I thought we all liked you best."
"I do," Justin said.
Brian threw his empty bottle at Justin. "You have a bathroom?" he asked Jeff. "I think I need to get away from these people for a second."
"Down that hallway, first door on the left," Jeff said.
"Second door on the left," Drew corrected.
"Right. Second door," Jeff said. "We don't want you going in the closet."
Nick cracked up laughing. Brian tried to be mad, then tried to keep a straight face, but ended up going into giggles.
"Oh god," Justin said, and joined them in hysterics. "In the closet."
"Wouldn't want to be in there," Brian said.
"Oh, no," Nick said, wiping his eyes, "not the closet!" The three of them collapsed against each other in laughter.
"Brian's gay," JC told Jeff.
"Brian?" Nick Lachey asked.
"But," Drew said. "I thought..."
"He's a homegrown Kentucky boy," Lance said. "Christian, country-and-western values."
"The same guy who wrote 'The Perfect Fan' would be disowned if he came out," JC said.
"This isn't as funny anymore," Nick accused.
"I wasn't going to come out tonight," Brian told Nick. "You just had to start laughing."
"It just hit me, when he said it," Nick said. "Sorry."
"I'm going to the bathroom," Brian said, "and you can all talk about me behind my back."
"Second door," Nick and Justin told him. Brian pulled Nick's hair and left. "Brian is a good country boy. I don't get it - - he's country, Justin likes rap, 98 Degrees likes Motown and Latin music, why are we all singing sappy love ballads?"
"That's why we're all getting control of our music," JC said. "The more we write and produce ourselves, the more decisions we make, the more like us it sounds."
"Are you not paying attention to your own career?" Justin asked Nick.
"I'm still stuck on the Brian being gay thing," Jeff said. "Brian's gay."
"Yes," Nick said.
"Since when?" Nick Lachey asked.
"I'm the first person he told," Nick said. "That was last year, when he was falling in love with some cute blonde and wanted my advice."
"Your advice?" Drew asked.
"I've liked boys since I was thirteen," Nick said. "I was the only gay person Brian knew, and we were best friends, so he asked me what to do. Like I knew. I told him to go for it."
"You're gay?" Nick Lachey asked.
"I knew it," Jeff said. "Ten bucks, pay up."
"So he's been dating?" Drew asked.
"He's had one boyfriend," Nick said. "It's almost been a year by now."
"Who?" Jeff asked.
"Are you seeing someone?" Drew asked.
"It's not...you're his boyfriend?" Jeff asked.
"Oh, no," Nick said.
"You're not a cute blonde?" Jeff asked.
"I'm not his cute blonde," Nick said. "I don't date. I haven't. I'd like a boyfriend, I just haven't gotten one."
"It's on his list of things to do," Brian said, picking his way across the floor again. "What'd I miss?"
"Three-fourths of 98 Degrees wants to know who your boyfriend is," Nick said.
"Oh." Brian sat between Nick and Justin again. "He's a singer."
"A professional singer?" Nick Lachey asked.
"Yeah."
"Cute blonde professional singer," Jeff said.
"It's not..." Drew licked his lips. "It's not..."
"It's not what?" Nick Lachey asked.
"...Lance, is it?"
"Lance?" Nick Lachey asked.
"I'm a cute blonde professional singer," Justin said.
"We know it's not you," Jeff said.
"What's wrong with me?" Justin asked.
"You're a little too obviously interested in someone else," Jeff said.
"I...am?" Justin looked worried.
"Who?" JC asked.
"Can we just clear up who Brian's boyfriend is?" Nick Lachey asked.
"It's Lance. We've moved on," Nick told him.
"You two have been together for almost a year?" Jeff asked. "Wow. That's great."
"That's not the reaction I expected," Lance said with a half-smile, half-frown.
"No, it is great," Nick Lachey said.
"But with you touring and working at different times in different places, it must be hard," Drew said.
"It is," Lance said.
"We hate it," Brian said.
"But we love each other," Lance said.
"So we're working on it," Brian said.
"And finishing."
"Each other's."
"Thoughts."
"And sentences."
"All right, trade seats with me," Justin told Lance. "If you're going to be weird and goopy, don't do it across me." Lance and Justin switched so that Lance was beside Brian and Justin was beside JC.
"Like Brian said, I didn't expect to come out tonight," Lance said. "I hope that you all respect our privacy and don't tell anyone."
"It won't leave this room," Jeff said.
"Don't worry about it," Nick Lachey said.
"Why are you guys being really really friendly and understanding?" Nick asked. "Because you're such nice people or because you don't hate gays or what?"
Drew glanced at Jeff. Jeff nodded. Drew nodded. Jeff said, "Drew and I have been together for five months."
Nick's jaw hit the floor.
"What?" Justin asked.
"You're gay, too?" JC asked.
"Is anyone in this room not, at this point?" Brian asked.
"So you mean together together," Justin said. "You're a couple? That's so cute!"
"Oh my god," Drew said. "He thinks we're cute."
"But you are," Justin said.
"You work together, you're old," Nick said. "So you must...be..."
Drew shook his head.
Jeff sighed and tipped his head back against the armchair's armrest, gazing at the ceiling.
"You're not?" Nick asked.
"Not what?" JC asked.
"Having sex," Nick said.
"That's none of our business," Brian told Nick.
"They're not having any business," Nick said.
"Why not?" Justin asked.
"We're waiting," Jeff told the ceiling.
"For what?" JC asked.
"We discussed it," Drew said. "I wanted to wait until we had a commitment ceremony, but since we aren't coming out publicly, we decided that a commitment ceremony is out of the question. No matter how private we try to keep it, someone would tell the press. So we thought we could wait until we win a Grammy, until our next album comes out, until a certain randomly chosen date. We finally settled it that we'll move forward when Nick does."
"So you're waiting for Jessica?" JC asked.
"I'm not with Jessica," Nick Lachey said. "I was for a few months before I realized that she wasn't what I needed. We kept the relationship because it would help her career and I needed a cover story."
"Cover story for what?" Justin asked softly.
Nick Lachey looked away.
"So no one would realize that Nick's in love with a guy," Drew said. His older brother nodded.
"Shit," Nick said.
"Jessica knows?" JC asked.
"Yeah," Nick Lachey said. "That I'm gay, not who I...like."
"You don't have to tell us," Brian said gently.
"This is wild," Nick said. "Okay. I'm gay, you're gay, the two of you are together, the two of you are together, who's left?"
Jeff and Drew looked at Justin.
Justin turned red. "What?"
"Dare we ask why you broke up with Britney?" Jeff asked.
"Do we need to ask?" Drew asked.
"Not really," Jeff said.
"I'm going to the bathroom," Justin said, getting to his feet. "Change the subject while I'm gone."
"What have I missed?" Brian asked as Justin left the room.
"Justin has a crush on someone," Lance said. Jeff coughed. "Justin's fallen in love with someone," Lance corrected himself reluctantly. "He's tried to keep it a secret but he's not very good at hiding it."
"I didn't notice anything," JC said. "Who is it?"
"And the air was thick with irony," Jeff said.
"Are you straight?" Nick asked JC.
"Me?" JC asked. "Yeah."
"Totally?" Nick asked.
"What - - yes, totally."
"So you wouldn't hook up with a cute guy."
"I wouldn't," JC agreed. "Sorry."
"Okay. So, wait, you two are waiting for Nick to get lucky before you can?" Nick asked.
"We just want him to start a relationship, get a first kiss," Drew said.
"And then the sun will burst forth and the angels will sing," Jeff said.
"We want him to kiss the person he's in love with," Drew said.
"But right now, we'd settle for Ronald McDonald," Jeff said.
"Jeff's been getting impatient," Drew said.
"Jeff's been getting horny," Nick Lachey muttered.
"That, too," Drew said.
"Does this guy know?" JC asked. "Is he gay?"
"He's gay but oblivious," Jeff said.
"So tell him," Brian said.
"It isn't like anyone's going to turn down Nick Lachey," JC said.
"Totally," Nick said. "Go for it."
"You heard him," Jeff said to Nick Lachey. "Go for it."
Justin came in and sat between Lance and JC again. "So?"
"So we're telling Nick Lachey to kiss some guy," Lance said.
"Any guy or the one you like?" Justin asked Nick Lachey.
"What would you do?" Nick Lachey asked him. "If you were in love with someone who didn't know."
"Hope he liked me back," Justin said.
"What if you didn't know?"
"It's not like you can stop loving him," Justin said. "So you just keep loving him, and you hope that someday it'll be right."
"You can't just sit and wait," Nick said. "You tell him, you kiss him, you do something about it."
"Okay." Justin turned to Jeff. "You got a kitchen?"
"That hallway. Can't miss it."
"JC, can I see you for a minute?" Justin asked, standing again.
"Sure," JC said, puzzled. "Why?"
"Just come on," Justin said. JC shrugged and followed.
"He's just going to tell him?" Drew asked when the two had gone.
"Looks like it," Lance said.
"Wow," Nick said. "Everybody's getting some but me. And Nick."
Nick Lachey leaned across the low coffee table and wrapped his hand around Nick's nape, pulling Nick forward, kissing Nick's soft, surprised mouth.
Everyone stared.
Nick Lachey crawled over the table and right on top of Nick, still kissing, pushing his tongue into Nick's mouth and lowering Nick's back to the plush, carpeted floor.
"They're." Drew blinked rapidly. "They're not actually going to..."
"There are people in the room," Jeff said.
"They don't seem to mind," Lance said.
"Nick's the guy?" Brian asked.
"Nick's Nick's guy," Drew agreed.
"How romantic," Lance said with a smile.
"If Nick's kissing Nick," Drew said to Jeff, "then we can..."
"Race you to the bedroom," Jeff said.
"Jeff, we can't just do that. You have guests-"
"Make yourselves at home," Jeff told Brian and Lance, and grabbed Drew's hand. "Let's go."
"Jeff-"
"I'm going to make love to you right now, and it's only a question of whether I do it in my bed or in front of Brian and Lance."
"We're not-"
"I thought that you'd rather I use nice pretty language like 'make love' rather than tell our guests that I want to suck your cock," Jeff said.
Drew turned red and hurried to the bedroom, Jeff at his heels.
Brian stood. Lacing his fingers through Lance's, he left the couple on the living room floor and found the kitchen. Justin and JC looked rather busy, so Brian turned to Lance. "It's up to us to amuse ourselves now."
"The bathroom's free," Lance
said. "The door locks."