Copyright September 14-October 1, 2000 by Matthew Haldeman-Time (actually, 3:30 a.m. October 2)

Rating: NC-17 for graphic male-male sex

Disclaimer: The young men who comprise 98 Degrees, the Backstreet Boys, and *NSYNC are their own people.  The author has not met anyone here described, nor does the author mean to suggest that these people act this way in real life.  This writing is a work of fiction.  I make no money from this venture.

Dedication: This slashfic is for Ewan McGregor and the Savage Garden slashers.

Notice: This piece follows "I Need You Tonight," its sister fic "Boy Lead the Way to Ecstasy," and the sequel to both, "Not Easy."

        Brian and Justin Timberlake Chasez had finished their game and come back up to the third floor.  Each knew that something was going on with the other, but they didn't talk about it.  Brian wiped sweat from his forehead and followed Justin into the third floor lounge.

        In the lounge, Nick Carter turned on the sofa when Drew stopped talking, and saw Brian and Justin.  "Hey.  Oh, Justin, I need to talk to you.  Alone.  Elsewhere.  Drew, I'll be right back."  Nick grabbed Justin and left quickly.

        Drew looked over at Brian.  "Hi."

        Brian walked closer.  "Hi."

        "Playing basketball?"

        "Yeah.  Showing up sweaty and smelly isn't going to win you over, is it?"

        "You don't have to win me over."

        "How did Nick get you?  Did he romance you and seduce you?  Or did he just take you?"

        "Nick-"  Drew fell silent suddenly when Brian came on the sofa, actually kneeling astride him.  "What are you doing?" he asked, looking up at Brian.

        "Taking you."  Brian kissed him.  Deep.  Hard.  He'd never been kissed like this.  He hadn't, he'd never, it...  He flinched and pushed at Brian's shoulders.  Brian's hands closed over his shoulders, holding him in place, while Brian's knees and thighs penned in his hips tightly.  Was this what Brian and Nick meant when they talked about soft and hard?  That usually referred to cocksucking, but maybe it applied to everything.  Maybe they'd always given him "soft," gentle and loving, and this was hard.  He didn't like it.  He didn't want it.  He got his hand under Brian's chin and forced Brian from his mouth.

        "Stop it."  His voice sounded weak, pathetic, but he could feel the fire in his eyes.

        Brian's eyes went wide all of a sudden.  Stunned, even horrified.  Fastened on his mouth.  He moved his gaze to Brian's mouth in response.  And there on Brian's lower lip was a tiny, tiny smear of blood.  Blood.  Blood.  Brian's fingers went to his mouth and came away tinged with red.  The blood on Brian's lip was his.  He was bleeding.

        Was such a thing even possible?

        "Nick," Brian said.  "Nick.  Nick!"  Nick came to the doorway.  The wrong Nick.  The wrong Nick.  Drew wanted to die.  He lowered his face and licked his lips, tasting blood, feeling the burn.

        "I'm sorry," Brian said softly.

        "Sorry for what?" Nick asked.

        Brian tensed over Drew.

        "It's okay," Drew said.

        "It isn't," Brian argued quietly.

        "Drew?" Nick asked.

        "I'll go get Nick," Brian whispered.

        "Don't go," Drew said.

        Brian got up anyway and moved toward the door.  Nick stopped him, a hand on Brian's arm.  "What's going on?"  Nick's grip tightened.  "What's going on?"

        "Let go of me," Brian said.

        "What's wrong with you?" Drew asked.

        "Let go," Brian said.

        "Can I help?" Nick Carter asked slowly, coming to the doorway, assessing the situation.

        "You've done enough," Nick Timmons-Lachey said.

        "Let go," Brian insisted.

        Drew stood and jerked Nick's hand from Brian's arm.  "Let go of him."  He turned to Brian.  "Leave me alone."  He grasped Nick Carter's hand and left the room.

        "What's going on?" Nick Carter asked him.  "Drew.  Drew!  What's going on?  What did Brian do?"

        "He hurt me."

        "Hurt you?  Brian would never hurt you."

        He went into his room and into the bathroom, flipping on the light.  Nick followed him.  He looked into the mirror.

        "Are you going to talk to me or what?" Nick asked.

        "My lip was bleeding."

        Nick turned him, tilted up his face.  "What did he do?"

        "He kissed me."

        "What did he do, bite you?"

        "He was so angry with me.  And then Nick came and it didn't help."

        "What does Nick have to do with it?  And why was he yelling at me?"

        "He wasn't yelling at you.  He just...  Nick, I don't know what I'm doing trying to be with two men at once."

        "Your brother doesn't approve so you're flipping?"

        "This isn't about Nick, it's about me."

        "I thought that you loved me."

        "I do love you."

        "I thought that you loved Brian."

        "I do.  Why is he-"

        "He's probably pissed at you because you're ashamed of him."

        "I'm not...I'm not...ashamed of him."

        "That was really convincing.  The Oscar goes to Drew Lachey."

        "Drew Carter Littrell Lachey," he corrected, muttering, turning to the mirror.  He remembered Brian touching his lips.

        "What did you just say?"

        "Nothing."  There was silence.

        "I can't believe he hurt you.  He loves you.  He loves your mouth."  Nick's fingers ghosted over Drew's lower lip.  "What's going on?"

        "I don't know."

        "Drew, look at me."  He did.  "If you want to be all confused and conflicted and weird about loving two people, two guys, go ahead.  But don't bring your brother into it.  We have enough going on without him.  Either tell him to back off or ignore him.  I'm going to go find Brian and ask him what the hell he thinks he's doing."  Nick kissed him very, very gently.  "You okay?"

        He closed his eyes and kissed Nick again.  "Nick?"  He opened his eyes.  "Is that what you mean when you talk about doing it soft or doing it hard?"

        "Not really."

        "Has Brian ever hurt you?"

        "I'm kind of sort of getting into the wimp's edge of the pleasure-pain boundary.  You know, the hurts so good thing?  But Brian doesn't make me bleed.  He's never actually hurt me.  I know he'd never want to.  He'd never try to.  He likes to make me feel good.  He wants to make you feel good."

        "Then why did he...why is he acting like this?"

        "He's acting pissed because he's hurt because you're rejecting him.  I'm not blaming you, I'm just saying that's what's happening.  I'm gonna go yell at him."

        "I should talk to him."  They heard a knock at the door.

        "If that's your brother, I'm telling him to piss off," Nick said, and went to open the door.  Drew followed, running his tongue over his lower lip again.  Nick looked through the peephole and opened the door.  "Hey."

        Brian glanced over to Drew, then back to Nick.  "Hey."

        "Would you come in already?" Nick asked.  Brian entered; Nick closed the door and locked it.  "I don't want annoying older brothers walking in on us again."

        "He's just worried about me," Drew said.

        "I'm sorry," Brian said.  "I'm sorry.  Is it...  Are you okay?"

        "What were you doing?  What's wrong with you?" Drew asked.

        Brian tensed.  "A lot, I guess."

        "I didn't mean it like that."

        "You don't know what you mean.  You don't know what you want.  When it's just us you're all come-hither, and whenever anybody else is around you don't want me within ten feet of you."

        "It's not like that."

        "No?  Isn't it?  Then what was that, before?  You show up here, you get off the bus, you don't even look at us!  And then I come up here and we're alone behind a closed door and then you let me touch you.  Then we're all ready to make love and you're reminded that there are other people who maybe don't approve and suddenly you don't want me near you again."

        "That's not fair!  You have no idea-"

        "Then why don't you tell me?  When you showed up here this morning I knew you were upset, and you wouldn't tell me what was wrong.  Talk to me!  I'm good for more than just sex!  Not that you give me much of that, either!"

        Drew stepped back, turning red.

        "Shit," Nick whispered.

        "I want you out of my room now," Drew said.

        "Yeah, that's the only time I've ever gotten you to string those three words together," Brian said.  He left, closing the door.

        "Me too?" Nick asked.

        "No."  Drew turned his back.  "Don't leave me alone with this."

        "He didn't mean it," Nick said.

        "You know he did."

        "He didn't."  Nick came behind Drew, wrapped his arms around Drew, rested his chin on the top of Drew's head.  "I thought if anyone would ever complain about you not putting out, it would be me.  You know we want you.  But you know it's not like that.  And Brian, he's so romantic he'd be happy just gazing into your eyes.  I'm the horny one, and I'm happy just getting to suck your tongue.  We're in love with you.  It doesn't matter whether you make love to us or we make love to you or we all just sit around holding hands."

        Drew turned his head, leaning back into Nick.  "I love you."

        "Good."

        "I think he hates me."

        "I think he hates himself for hurting you and he doesn't know how to make it better so he's just making it worse."

        "That's mature."

        "He's confused.  He's hurt.  You're not helping."

        "I know."

        "Is something else wrong?  Is there a reason you ignored us when you first got here?"

        "No.  Yes.  There's...  It's nothing."

        "Something's going on.  Are you going to talk to me?"

        "No."

        "Great.  So you won't tell me, and you won't tell Brian, and you're going to stand here keeping it all inside."

        "Yes."

        "I knew I should've stayed straight.  Guys are too confusing."

        "If you were straight you couldn't do what you love best."

        "And what's that?"

        "Suck Brian's cock."

        "Mmm..."

        "Or get Brian to make love to you."

        "Ooohhh..."  Nick's arms tightened.  "You don't know what you're missing there.  But you forgot two of my other things I love best."

        "What?"

        "Sucking your cock, and getting you to make love to me.  You only fucked me once, but I still felt it four months later."

        "You did not."

        "You rocked me.  You have no idea."

        "What do you like best?"

        "What are my choices?"

        "Sucking or having it done to you?  Being made love to or making love?"

        "All four at once would be nice."

        "And physically impossible."

        "I'm willing to try."

        "Tell me."

        "I don't know.  They're so different.  They make me feel different things.  And it's different with different people, too.  It depends on my mood, I guess, and what you and Brian want.  Sometimes I just need for him to fuck me, I need him in me.  Sometimes I just want to get on my knees and take him in my mouth.  When I fuck or get my cock sucked, obviously it's good, and when I get fucked, that's a whole different feeling.  But when I do the sucking, it's this high, this rush, from giving someone else pleasure, from making you or Brian feel good.  I just get in this zone."

        "I think I felt some of that.  When I was with Brian, last time, and..."

        "And he taught you how to deep throat?"

        "Something just clicked."

        "God I wish I'd been there."

        "I was in this whole other place.  I felt so...powerful, but humbled."

        "Nothing like it.  Drew?"

        "What?"

        "Can we stop staring at the wall now?"

        Drew laughed and turned in Nick's arms.  "Sorry."

        "Next time at least stand in front of a window or something."  Nick kissed him, gently.  "Your lip hurt?"

        "No."

        "Still mad?"

        "Confused."

        "That's an improvement, I guess.  Let's go get something to eat.  It's like six o'clock.  I'm starving."

        "Don't be mad at Nick."

        "I won't be.  As long as he doesn't grab Brian again."

        "He's worried about me."

        "He's judgmental."

        "Wouldn't you be?"

        "Drew, you're almost twenty-five.  You can make your own choices."

        "Let's go eat."

        When they came into the dining room, Justin Timberlake Chasez, Joey, Lance, and AJ were at a table together.  "Can we join you?" Nick asked.

        "Sure," Justin said.  "Joey and Lance are pretending they're not cheering me up."

        "You missed all the fun," AJ said.

        "What fun?" Drew asked, sitting between Nick and AJ.

        "There was a lovely shouting contest between your other boyfriend and your big brother."

        "What?" Drew asked, feeling dread.

        "They were yelling?" Nick asked.

        "And shoving each other," Lance said.

        "Brian went ass over teakettle across that table," Joey said, gesturing to the only table in the room without place settings or tablecloth.

        "Nick pushed Brian over a table?" Drew asked.

        "Kevin broke it up and took Brian out," Justin said.  "It was pretty serious."

        "What were they yelling about?" Nick asked.

        "The two of you," AJ said.  "I'm on Brian's side."

        "We can't take sides," Lance said.

        "Hey," AJ said, "I get the defending your little brother's honor thing, but nobody says what he said about my friends.  And nobody hits B-Rok on my turf."

        "This isn't your turf," Joey said.

        "I'm in the room, it's my turf."

        "Hits?" Drew asked, hoping that it was a reference to the table incident.

        "I don't think he broke anything," Justin said, trying to help.

        "Oh god.  Where is he?" Drew asked, getting to his feet.  He couldn't listen to another second.

        "Kevin's room," AJ said.

        "Where's Nick?" Nick asked.

        "Don't know, don't care," AJ said.

        Drew ran for the elevator, Nick right behind him.  They waited impatiently during the slow ride up, then burst off and ran down the hallway.  Nick found Kevin's room and knocked quickly.

        Howie opened the door.  "Looking for Brian?"

        "Is he okay?" Drew asked nervously.

        "Who is it?" Kevin's voice called.

        "Drew and Nick," Howie said.  "The tall blonde Nick."

        "Is he in there?" Nick asked.

        "Come on in," Howie said, letting them pass.  Drew came into the room and saw Brian and Kevin sitting on the sofa.  Brian was leaning forward, forearms propped over knees.  When Brian looked up Drew saw the dark bruise forming along Brian's square jaw.  He hurried forward and dropped to his knees before Brian, taking Brian's face in gentle hands.

        "I'm so sorry."

        Brian leaned away from his touch, pushing away his wrists.  "Don't touch me.  There are people here.  You wouldn't want them to get the wrong-"

        "Don't be a jackass," Nick said.  "He's worried about you."

        Drew's fingers slid across Brian's cheekbones.  "I'm sorry.  I didn't know.  What happened?"

        "I went in to get food, Nick came in and decided to yell at me, I yelled back, he got mad, I got madder, he got violent."

        "Did you hit him back?" Nick asked.

        "I shoved him.  Not hard.  So you can feel sorry for poor little Brian getting beat up by the big bad body-builder."

        "He was wrong to touch you.  He was wrong to hurt you.  He was wrong to yell at you.  Are you all right?" Drew asked.

        "I'm fine."

        "I don't know if I'm angrier at Nick for yelling at you, for hurting you at all, or for doing anything to your beautiful face."  Drew very lightly skimmed his thumb over the ugly bruise.  He leaned up and kissed it.  Licked it.

        "Okay, I think I'll go now," Howie said.  "Since Brian's in more capable hands."

        Brian cupped Drew's chin in one hand and guided Drew's kiss to his mouth.  Drew made a soft sound of pleasure and parted his lips for Brian's tongue.

        Kevin sighed.  "I'm the one who saves Brian and he's the one who gets rewarded."

        "Don't look here," Nick said.  "My love life's got enough going on without adding you to the mix."

        "That's okay," Kevin said.  "You're not my type."

        "Too young?"

        "Too male."

        "To each his own, I guess."

        Drew sat back on his heels.  "Thank you for not hitting him back.  I know you could have."

        "I'm not into violence.  I'm sorry I hurt you," Brian said.

        "I know.  What did he say?  How did it start?  I still don't understand."

        "I think he's okay with you being gay.  I think.  But he doesn't like who you've decided to be gay with."

        "Why not?"

        "There are two of us.  And we're not exactly virginal and pure and chaste."

        "You like sex.  So?  He likes sex."

        "I think that Nick's developed a reputation."  Brian's face tightened with anger.

        "What?  Nick Carter?  He's...  Nick's not...  He's monogamous.  He's...  I don't..."

        "I don't want to say anything bad about your brother," Brian said.  "I'm in enough trouble already."

        "But he said something about Nick?  About Nick and sex?" Drew asked.  "I need to talk to him."  Drew slid his knuckles along the unblemished side of Brian's jaw.  "I should probably talk to him alone."

        "No way," Nick said.

        "He's not going to hurt me," Drew said.  "You stay here with Brian."

        "Oh, can we play doctor and patient?" Nick asked.  Then he went still.  "Is that what you meant?  Is that why Nick...?  People think I'm-"

        "No," Drew said, rising.  "Don't."  He kissed Nick.  "Don't.  I'll be right back.  Thank you," he told Kevin, and left, closing the door.  He went to 356 first and knocked.  Knocked again.

        The door opened.  Jeff looked like someone who had just crawled out of bed.  "Drew.  What time is it?"

        "Just past six.  You've been asleep?"

        "Yeah.  Is something wrong?"

        "You've missed a lot."

        "What's going on?" Jeff asked, waking, frowning.

        "Your husband's gone off the deep end and I'm going to kill him."

        "What?  Wait - - Drew!"  Jeff grabbed a shirt and ran after him.  "What's happening?"

        Drew entered the stairwell and started down the stairs.  "Your husband took it upon himself to defend my honor and beat up my boyfriend."

        "What?  He beat up Nick?"

        "He beat up Brian."

        "You're kidding me.  You're not serious.  Drew."

        "I'm totally serious.  There were about six eyewitnesses.  He shoved Brian across a table and hit him.  Brian has a nice big bruise."

        "What happened?"

        "Nick doesn't like it that I'm sleeping with Brian and Nick.  Chris.  Have you seen my brother?"

        "He's with Justin in the weight room."

        "Thanks."  Drew headed in that direction, Jeff at his heels.  He pushed his way through the doors.

        Nick was sitting on the bench, Justin Jeffre on the one beside him, talking softly.  At the sound of the doors, the two looked up; Nick stood first, Justin a moment later while glancing to Jeff.

        "He told me he didn't hit you," Drew said.

        "It was AJ," Justin said.

        "AJ," Jeff repeated, walking over to Nick.

        "He didn't like what I had to say," Nick said, lowering the icepack.

        "What did you have to say?" Jeff asked sharply, taking his face in two hands to look closer.

        Nick pulled away from Jeff and set the icepack against his cheek, sitting again.  Jeff stood over him, glowering.  Drew came to stand beside Jeff.  "I told Brian I didn't like what he was doing with Drew," Nick said.

        "And what is he doing with Drew?" Jeff asked.

        "Don't," Drew said.  "I don't want this to mess up anybody else's relationship."

        "If I married a sanctimonious bigot, I'd like to know about it," Jeff said.  "You threw Brian over a table?"

        "I didn't throw him," Nick muttered, watching his shoes.

        "You're lucky he didn't hit you back," Jeff said.  "He could have."

        "He's a nice guy," Justin said.

        "Nice guy, right, nice guy who's screwing Drew," Nick said.

        "You're with Jeff," Drew said.

        "Jeff's my husband," Nick snapped, raising his eyes sharply.

        "That's what this is about?  You're married and I'm not?  You had Jeff in your bed as soon as you heard he was gay.  As soon as you heard.  You didn't get married until nine months later."

        "And what about you?  Nine months from now are you going to marry Brian?  Or Nick?  You can't have both."

        "I can have both," Drew said.  "I do have both.  I am in love with Brian and I am in love with Nick.  Maybe it's not traditional.  Maybe it's not what the family values people want to see.  But two guys together isn't exactly preferred either."

        "This isn't about varying levels of acceptability.  You can't get me on your side by saying we're all gay so it's all okay," Nick said.  "What is it?  Is it just fun having a threesome?"

        "It's not about sex," Drew said.  "You know me better than that.  It is not about sex.  It's about love.  And friendship.  And what's right for me.  This is what is right for me."

        "There's nothing right about it.  Where is this going?  What are you going to do?"  Nick stood.  "You know what they're doing.  Nick and Brian are Nick and Brian, they're together, that's for good.  Brian dumped Nick and Nick came to you, yeah, but now they're back together and they're staying together.  You're their fun playmate, Drew, you're their vacation toy.  They're together all year long, day in and day out.  You think this is going to last?  They can do fine without you."

        "You don't know what it's like for us.  You don't know how they feel."

        "You know what Nick's like."

        "I do know what Nick's like.  I know him better than you do."

        "He only wants you for sex."

        "He loves me."

        "He loves Brian."

        "Brian loves me, too."

        "Brian's with Nick.  Can't you see what they're doing?  Don't you-"

        "Could you give me a little credit for having a brain in my head?  You think that I can't tell the difference between sex and love?  You think that I'll hand myself over to anybody who smiles pretty?  You think that I'm worth so little that people would be with me for sex and no other possible reason?"

        "I didn't say that."

        "You didn't have to.  I know you think you're better than me, Nick, you've never tried to hide it.  But I have something good, I have people who love me, I found my own happiness, and I am not going to let you mess with it.  Don't ever touch Brian again.  Don't ever say anything about Nick."

        "I'm only-"

        "Nick.  I've had the same thoughts.  I've asked myself the same questions.  I fell in love with Nick and spent the next six months wondering whether he was just with me because he couldn't have Brian.  I fell in love with Brian and spent the next four months waiting to hear that they didn't need me anymore.  And then I came here and I looked into their eyes.  No one's ever looked at me like that.  No one's ever treated me like they do.  They love me.  I'm sorry you don't trust me.  I'm sorry you had to hurt me.  And I'm sorry that AJ hit you."  He put a hand on Jeff's back and said, "Don't be mad at him," and left.

        Jeff sighed and said, "I don't even want to know what you're insinuating about Brian, much less Nick.  Come on, you're going to go upstairs and sleep, and when you're feeling better we can talk."

        "It's too early to sleep."

        "I don't care.  I can't believe you attacked Brian and he didn't hit you back."

        "AJ made up for it."

        "You shouldn't have hit Nick."

        "He deserved it."

        "You should have gotten ice."

        "It'll be okay."

        "Here, let me see."  He took AJ's hand in both of his, turned it gently, passed his thumb lightly over AJ's knuckles.  "Does that hurt?"

        AJ looked at him slowly.  "No."

        He brought AJ's knuckles to his lips and kissed AJ's hand gently.

        "Oh my god."  AJ's hand pulled free only to wrap around his nape, pulling him forward to AJ's mouth.

        "Yeah," Drew said.  "Now Jeff's mad at him.  This is just not going well at all.  So much for our happy vacation."

        "We can have a happy vacation," Nick said.  "We just have to try harder."

        "And avoid Nick," Drew said.  "Where were you headed?"

        "Our room," Brian said.  "You want to come?"

        Drew hugged Brian.  "I'm sorry."

        "I think I'm more sorry," Brian said.

        "Are you all right?"

        "Humiliated."

        "Don't be."  He touched Brian's bruise.  "Are you hurt?  From the table?"

        "I wouldn't really recommend sliding across a table, especially if it's set, especially if you're going to fall into the chairs on the other side, but I'm okay."

        "At least the candles weren't lit," Nick said.

        "Thanks.  That really helps," Brian told Nick with a smile.

        Nick grinned and shrugged, then unlocked 309.  "Hey, where's our maid service?"

        "You know they're only changing the towels," Brian said.  "Learn to make your own bed."

        "It's your bed."

        "303's my room, so 303 has my bed, so my room's nice and neat and my bed's perfect.  This is your room," Brian said.

        "Right."

        Drew glanced around, wondering what was wrong.  The room looked perfectly neat.  Then his gaze came to the bed.  Two of the three pillows were on the floor, and all but the fitted sheet were strewn haphazardly and falling off of the foot of the bed.  "What were you guys...never mind."

        "We missed you," Brian said.  "We had to make up for it."

        "If we aren't getting maid service, we have to keep the same sheets all week?" Drew asked.

        "Could get gross," Brian said.  "We could ask for new sheets."

        "We might need to," Drew said.  It struck him that Nick hadn't broken in with a smart comment during that exchange, and he looked over at Nick.  Nick was looking at the bed.  Just looking.  "Nick?"

        Nick looked at him.  "What?"

        "Are you okay?"

        "Yeah."

        "Am I the only one of us who is honest when he's upset about something?" Brian asked.

        "You were a bit too honest today," Drew said.

        "I didn't mean any of what I said.  I was upset, I said things I shouldn't have," Brian said.

        "Do I really act come-hither?"

        "Not on purpose," Brian said.  "I think it's just me.  Just us.  That's how we interpret it because we think you're sexy."

        "Do you think I'm a tease?"

        "I know I never said that."

        "But were you thinking it?"

        "No.  You've never promised something and not given it.  You've never acted like you were going to do something you weren't going to do."

        "I told Nick he could make love to me."

        "That was just an overestimation of what you thought you were ready for.  Nick's never - - Nick, what is wrong?"

        "Nothing," Nick said, looking away from the bed.

        "It's early, and we've had a lot of emotional trauma already today," Brian said.  "Can we just sit and watch TV or something?"

        "My Playstation's in my room," Drew said.

        "Great.  Let's go.  If we can drag Nick away from his little new obsession."

        "What?" Nick asked.

        "Come on," Brian said.  "We're going to Drew's room."

        "For what?" Nick asked.

        "Naked Jell-O wrestling."  Nick stepped back.  Drew and Brian frowned.  "We're going to play Drew's Playstation," Brian said.  "Okay?"

        "Sure," Nick said.  "Let's."

        "Here's a fun idea," Brian said.  "Before midnight, one of you is going to tell me what's wrong.  You can tell me what had you upset this morning, and you can tell me why you're acting distracted and nervous."

        "It's not about you," Drew said.  "It's just...something else."

        "You have heard that talking about something can make you feel better," Brian said.

        "Maybe later," Drew said.

        "Don't take this the wrong way, but I'm sort of glad that there's something bothering you that isn't my fault."

        Jeff, kneeling astride Nick, fingers digging deep into the muscles in Nick's back, shrugged.  "That's debatable."

        "I beat up Brian."

        "You're apologizing to him tomorrow.  And to Nick.  And to Drew."

        "Anybody else?"

        "Maybe AJ."

        "He hit me."

        "You upset him."  Jeff massaged down a little.

        "Maybe I should just apologize to everybody."

        "Maybe you should.  As long as you mean it."

        "I think I hate myself."

        "You had good intentions.  You're worried about Drew.  You just went overboard.  Completely."

        "I can't believe Brian didn't hit me.  The things I said about him - - the things I said about Nick, if anyone said anything like that about you I'd kill him."

        "You can spend tonight wallowing in your guilt, then beg for forgiveness tomorrow."

        "Okay.  This feels so good.  Why are you being so nice to me?"

        "You're upset, you're in pain, and I love you."

        "Oh."

        "Yeah."

        "Jeff?"

        "What."

        "I love you."

        "Good.  When I'm finished here you can screw me."

        Nick's eyes opened.  "You're serious?"

        "Yeah."

        "You're too good to me."

        "I know."

        "I love this vacation.  We might get to sleep more than four hours this week," Brian said.

        Drew looked over to Nick, who was sitting on the floor by the foot of the bed lost in thought.  "You guys want to sleep here?"

        "Yeah," Brian said.  "Unless Nick has a pressing engagement."

        "Should I bother to change for bed or should I just get naked?" Drew asked.

        "If you got naked I wouldn't complain," Brian said.

        "I'll take the bathroom first.  You can talk to Zombie Boy."

        "Nick's the mummy," Brian corrected.

        "You make a good werewolf," Drew said.

        "Thanks.  I think.  Howie's vampire was good."

        "I really liked the Jekyll-Hyde thing."

        "And of course AJ made a great Phantom," Brian said.

        "Then stop touching me," AJ said, kissing him.  He slid his hand up AJ's torso.  When he found a nipple, AJ made a noise into his mouth, a low growl, and sucked on his tongue.

        Nick looked up at him and then looked away very quickly.  "Hi."

        Drew frowned and smoothed Nick's hair.  "Thank you."

        "For what?"

        "Helping me today.  Supporting me.  Loving me and standing with me even when I was acting like a jerk."

        "You were upset.  I wanted to help you."

        "That's why I'm thanking you."

        "I'm supposed to support you.  What kind of lousy boyfriend just disappears when you're having trouble?  I'm not going to stop loving you because you're fighting with somebody, that's stupid."

        He kissed the top of Nick's head.

        Brian came out from the bathroom and paused, smiling slowly.  "Wow.  I always underestimate how good you look without clothes."

        "You just saw me undressed earlier today."

        "How's our Nick zombie?"

        "I got him to speak in complete sentences.  Several of them."

        "Progress."  Brian pulled off his shoes.

        "I gotta go to the bathroom," Nick said, and suddenly made his escape.

        Brian came over to the bed and rested one hand on Drew's shoulder for balance while he pulled off his socks.  "He's upset about what Nick said."

        "About his...reputation," Drew said, not wanting to say anything hurtful.  Brian nodded.  "I think so, too."  Drew sighed.  "Nick just doesn't understand how Nick works."

        Brian pulled off his shirt.  "It's just in how you interpret it.  People who don't know Nick probably see him differently."

        "But they're wrong."

        "I know that.  You know that."  Brian opened his fly.

        "How am I supposed to talk about this when you're doing that?" Drew asked.

        "You're the one sitting there all mostly naked."

        "I think Nick's hiding from us."

        "I think so too," Brian agreed, stepping out of his jeans.

        "Why don't we just go to sleep for tonight," Drew said.  "It's been a long, rough day.  It might be better just to...  I sound like a girl, don't I?"

        "I know what you mean.  I think you're right."  Brian kissed him.  "Come on, we can get all cuddly and snuggly, and Nick can come out of his bathroom or his closet or whatever."

        Drew moved back on the bed, pulling Brian along by the hand.  They settled under the covers together, getting comfortable, spending a moment petting each other.  "It's good to see you," Brian said.

        Drew laughed.  "You too.  I missed you."

        Brian kissed him.  "This just sleeping thing might be a lot easier if you weren't lying here with me."

        "You want me to go?"

        "No no.  It's just hard not to try to have my wicked way with you."

        "You want me to turn around?"

        "That would make it worse."

        "Trust me."  Drew turned around, his back to Brian.  When Drew finished, Brian's right hand was on his pec, Brian's left hand was over his boxers on his cock, and Brian's cock was resting against his ass.

        And Drew turned out to be right.  Brian fell asleep quickly and deeply.

        All in all, Justin had not had the best day.  Aside from knowing that his friends were fighting, and aside from watching that startling, even frightening display of violence, he'd spent his day knowing that JC was mad at him, and mad at him with good reason.  They'd been fortunate in that they rarely fought.  They didn't let their disagreements escalate, and they were careful to keep open their communication.  Above all, they understood each other, made allowances for each other's weaknesses and strengths, and always shared their love.  Justin had never spent a night without JC since they'd become lovers.  He wasn't going to start now.

        After wandering all over the hotel, Justin found JC upstairs, in the third floor lounge.  JC was sitting on the couch, back against the armrest, bare feet out before him on the cushions, gazing out the window.

        "JC."  JC turned, startled, and looked at him.  He came across the room and, feeling pulled, feeling drawn, came onto the sofa, kneeling over JC, hands on either side of JC on the armrest.  And he leaned in and kissed JC, opened JC's mouth and entered it.  JC accepted his tongue.  He moved on JC, shifted until he was sitting against JC's cock, rocked against it, resting against JC, chest to chest, groin to groin.  His entire body tingled with love and fear and desire and fear.  "JC," he said, and rocked harder, feeling JC's cock responding.  "JC, fuck me."  JC moved.  "No, here."  He sat up and pulled his T-shirt over his head, dropped it, laid down again on JC.  "Fuck me right here.  Right now."  He closed his eyes and kissed JC's mouth.

        "I can't," JC said.

        He wedged a hand between their bodies, gripped JC's cock through JC's jeans.  "Please, JC."  His body was twisting with fear and desire; he panted with it.  "Please fuck me."

        "Let me take you back to our room."

        "Fuck me here."

        "Let me make love to you."

        "No, JC, fuck me here."

        "Justin-"

        He shook his head, eyes closed.  "Please."  He lowered his forehead to JC's shoulder.  "Please, JC, fuck me here."  But JC's hands came to his waist and lifted him; JC eased out from beneath him and stood.  He turned, twisted, eyes opening, and reached for JC's hips, looking up, pleading.  "JC."

        JC picked up his shirt and took one of his hands.  "Come downstairs with me."

        "No.  Here."

        "Let me make love to you."

        "No, don't."

        JC pulled him, and he followed rather than let go of JC's hand.  So they went down in the elevator, and into their room.  He let JC lay him on the bed, let JC strip him, let JC kiss him everywhere, touch him everywhere.  JC made love to him all night.  He fell asleep in JC's arms as JC pet him and kissed him and whispered the most beautiful things.

        "Where's Nick?" Brian asked.

        "Nick?"  Drew looked around the room.  "Oh no.  And I was having such happy dreams."

        He gave Drew a quick kiss.  "Put that on hold."

        "No, you stay here.  I'll go find him.  Stay."

        "Why?"

        "Because you're nice and warm and cosy and it's so...mmm."  Drew kissed him.  "Stay.  I'll find Nick."  Drew pulled on his clothes and kissed Brian and left the room.  Where would Nick be?  He chewed on his thumbnail, then wondered whether he'd lifted that habit from his brother or Brian, and went to 309.  He knocked.

        "It's open."

        He entered.  Nick was sitting on the sofa, drawing.  "Hey."

        "Drew."

        "What are you drawing?"

        "It sucks."  Nick tossed the paper in the trashcan.  It wasn't, judging from the can's contents, the first drawing he'd thrown away this morning.  "You're awake."

        "Brian wanted to come look for you, but I like the way he looks asleep in bed, so I made him stay.  What time did you get up?"

        Nick shrugged.  "You can go back to sleep."

        "Come with me."

        "I'm cool here."

        "Then I'll stay, too."

        "What about Brian?"

        "I'm more worried about you."

        "Worried?"

        "Worried," he agreed, and sat beside Nick.  "Did you get any sleep?"

        "I got some."

        "Get some more."

        "I'm okay."

        "Sleep.  Come here.  I make a nice pillow."  He pulled Nick down until Nick's cheek rested on his thigh.  "Give me your glasses."  Nick sighed and did.  "Now close your eyes."  He smoothed Nick's hair.  "Think about something good.  Think about what makes you happy."  He traced the lines of Nick's face.  "You are beautiful."

        "Good morning," JC said, and leaned down, giving him a sweet, brief kiss.  Justin's fingers closed over the front of JC's shirt, keeping JC there, bringing JC back to his mouth.  He twisted, coming onto his back, pulling JC closer and closer.  "Fuck me."

        From JC's position, they were kissing almost upside-down.  JC kissed down his neck and onto his chest, crawling over him, kissing down his body.  He reached over his head and rubbed his hand between JC's thighs.  "Fuck me."  But JC kept going, down his body, down to his cock.  "No, no," he said, but JC did anyway.  To make it worse, JC kept him from opening JC's pants, prying his fingers loose every time he tried.  After he'd come, JC swallowed and turned around, settling down beside him, face-to-face now.  JC kissed his mouth and felt in between his legs and made him come again.  When he came out from the shower, JC was gone.

        "Hi," Brian whispered, and pointed to the bed.  His bed.  Where Drew was curled up asleep.  Brian handed him his glasses.  He put them on and still felt confused.  "He went to find you and didn't come back, so I got up and came looking.  He was half-asleep, so I sent him to bed.  You looked comfortable and we didn't want to bother you."

        "Thanks."

        "You could kiss me good morning."

        "Didn't brush my teeth."

        "That never stopped you before."

        "Good hygiene's important."

        Brian smiled.

        "What?"

        "That's the line you tried to give me the first time you wanted to rim me."

        Nick got up and went to the bathroom and locked the door.

        Brian sighed.  That probably hadn't been the best thing to say, considering Nick's frame of mind.  He walked over to the bed and sat beside Drew.  This was an amazingly comfortable bed, especially for a hotel.  He stroked down Drew's back.  Too bad Drew was still dressed.  Drew turned slightly, hazel eyes opening.  "Hey," Drew said sleepily, smiling at him.

        "Hey," he said, and kissed Drew.  "I made Nick mad at me.  He's hiding in the bathroom again."

        Drew blinked and yawned and sat up in bed.  "My turn to try again?"

        "Kiss me."

        "Okay."  Drew kissed him.  "How's that?"

        "More."

        "Okay."

        When the bathroom door opened, Brian and Drew were still kissing.  They were on the bed but sitting up, pressed close, Brian's hand on Drew's back under Drew's shirt.  Brian let go and took a moment to admire Drew's face, all wet lips and shiny eyes.  Drew glanced over and saw Nick.  "Can we go get breakfast now?" Drew asked.

        "Sure," Brian said.  "I'm starving."  They climbed from the bed.

        At the doorway, Drew paused and looked up at Nick.  "I'd like a kiss, but I'm not jumping up there to get it.  Come down here."  Nick's eyes flickered but Nick brushed a quick kiss over Drew's lips.  "Food food food here we come," Drew said, taking Nick's hand and heading for the elevator.

        "I got off lightly, so I won't complain."

        "Good."  Jeff kissed what he could reach without moving, under Nick's chin.  "Should I wake up and have sex or go back to sleep?"

        "You can go back to sleep."

        "If I do, will you lie here feeling sorry for yourself?"

        Nick smiled.  "Probably."

        "All right."  Jeff scooted closer and kissed Nick properly.  "Go ahead and make love to me.  I'll be a martyr to the cause."

        "You don't have to."

        "I'll be strong.  I'll sacrifice myself."

        Nick's fingers felt down Jeff's torso.  "I still don't understand why I'm supposed to be the good-looking one."

        "Sweetheart," Jeff smiled, "you're not."

        Nick laughed and ran his fingers over Jeff's chest.  "Good."

        "Sorry.  I just didn't think that I should let your ego run amok this early in the morning.  You're right, you're the good-looking one, everyone likes you best.  With good reason, I think."

        "You're biased."  He found a nipple.

        "Is your interest in my pecs a holdover from your heterosexual years?"

        Nick laughed.  "No way. I like your body because it's so masculine, so strong, so hard.  You're all man.  I love that."

        "Good.  I was getting a complex."

        "If you don't want to be a woman, you shouldn't bottom."

        "Oh, really?  Okay."

        "Jeff, I was kidding."

        "No, you're right."  Jeff rolled them over, getting on top of Nick.  "You bottom."

        "You said I could-"

        "I changed my mind.  A woman has a right to change her mind."

        "Come on."  Nick sat up, licking Jeff's nipple, hand curling around Jeff's cock.  "Let me."

        Jeff tilted his head back, moving into Nick's touch, moving into Nick's mouth.  "If I do?"

        "You can make love to me tonight."

        "If I don't?"

        "You can make love to me tonight."  He groped Jeff's chest with one hand, his other hand riding back over Jeff's ass.  "Please."

        "Okay."  Jeff looked down at him.  "Okay."  He leaned up and kissed Jeff's mouth, his arm coming around Jeff's waist to pull Jeff closer to his body.  Jeff rode him down to the mattress and he rolled them over when they came up for air.

        "I thought he was outside," Joey said.

        "I was just out there and he wasn't there," Chris said.

        "He's not in his room," Lance said.

        "He's not at the piano," Howie said.

        "He's not with Justin," AJ said dryly.

        "Where is Justin?" Kevin asked.

        "He was talking to Nick," Justin Jeffre said.  "Or pretending to talk to Nick.  I think it's hard to hold a conversation when neither of you is really on the planet."

        "So we have Justin and JC having a fight.  Nick's brooding over something.  The other Nick is fighting with Drew and beating up Brian," Joey said.  "The people who are here on purpose for fun and honeymoons and visits are totally unhappy."

        The elevator doors opened.  "Speaking of," AJ said.

        "You really did hit him," Joey said.

        "He deserved it."

        "That's not an excuse," Kevin said.

        Jeff and Nick stopped between the sofas.  "Before I go find Brian, Drew, and Nick," Nick said, "I want to make an apology to the rest of you.  I'm sorry for yelling, I'm sorry for what I said, and I'm sorry for getting violent.  I was wrong."

        "Wrong to throw Brian across the table, or wrong in saying that Nick's using Drew for sex?" Kevin asked.

        "Note to self, don't mess with Kevin," Chris murmured.

        "I'm working on that," Nick admitted to Kevin.  "I need to talk to Nick and Brian, I think."

        Kevin nodded, accepting that for the moment.

        "Any idea where we can find them?" Jeff asked.

        "Nick's in the lounge down the hall with Justin," Justin said.

        "Brian and Drew are in the dining room," Lance said.  "You don't want to go in there."

        "Why not?" Nick asked.

        "They're...singing."

        "So?"

        "They're singing badly."

        "They don't know how to sing badly," Jeff said.

        "Trust me," Lance said.  "They are."

        Curiosity piqued, Nick and Jeff went to the dining room.  Drew was sitting at a table.  Brian was sitting on the table, feet on Drew's chair, holding his guitar, singing "Don't Wanna Lose You Now."  In pig Latin.

        "This is how you serenade people?" Jeff asked.

        Brian broke off and grinned.  "Only the most special."

        "Hey," Drew said.

        "I'm sorry," Nick said.

        Brian set aside his guitar and stood.  "Yeah?"

        "Yeah," Nick said.  "I'm sorry.  I'm sorry for everything I said and everything I did."

        "You admit you were wrong?" Drew asked.

        "I'm not sure," Nick said.

        "Don't apologize to me until you can mean it," Brian said.  "If you still believe what you said yesterday-"

        "I don't know whether I believe it," Nick said.  "I just want a chance to talk to you.  And to talk to Nick."

        "That's fair," Drew said.  Brian nodded.  "Nick's in the lounge," Drew said.  "The three of you could talk together.  I think maybe I shouldn't be there."

        "I don't think Nick's in the mood to talk," Brian said.

        "That's up to him," Drew said.  "Come on."  The four went down to the lounge.  Justin left silently.  Nick stood.

        "I thought we could talk," Nick said.

        "About what?" Nick asked.

        "You.  And Drew."

        "We're supposed to have a conference," Brian said, "the three of us.  I guess so Nick can decide whether we're good enough for Drew."

        "That's not helping," Drew said quietly.

        "Sorry," Brian said.  "You're right.  I'm sorry."  He sat on the sofa and tugged on Nick's hand.  "Come sit beside me and let's get to know Drew's big brother."

        Jeff kissed Nick and left.  Drew followed.  Nick sat beside Brian.  Nick sat and looked at Brian and Nick.

        "Are you really in love with Drew?"

        "I am," Brian said.

        "Yes," Nick said.

        "And each other."

        "Yes," Brian said.

        "Yes," Nick said.  He picked at the hole in the knee of his jeans.

        "You don't love each other more than you love him?"

        "No," Brian said.

        "No," Nick said.  Pick.  Pick.

        "What are you going to do?  See him twice a year?"

        "I don't know," Brian said.  "I thought we could get a house together, maybe.  Depending where we all want to live."

        "You can't get married."

        "Not all three of us," Brian said.

        "Two of you?  What about the other one?"

        "We haven't worked out all of the kinks yet."

        "So it's like an experiment."

        "Every relationship could be seen as an experiment.  We're not testing it out to see how it goes.  We're committed.  We're going to stay together.  It's not a question of how long it takes before we all break up or two of us turn against the other or someone decides it's just not worth it anymore.  We're together.  All three of us."

        "To what end?  What's the point?"

        "You're right, we can't get married.  Marriage isn't the be-all and end-all of every romantic relationship.  It isn't some sort of test.  Some couples don't get married.  And plenty get married who shouldn't.  It's like our love doesn't count or isn't worth as much just because we can't get married.  Guess what, Nick, your own marriage doesn't count for much in this country.  What's important is that it's real and it's right for you and Jeff.  And this is what's real for the three of us."

        "What about you?"

        Pick.  Pick.

        "Nick," Brian said softly.

        "I'm just waiting."  Pick.  Pick.

        "For what?" Nick asked.

        Pick.  Pick.  "For you to call me a whore.  I know it's what you're thinking.  You don't like sex?  You don't suck cock?"  Pick.  Pick.  "Maybe you don't.  I don't know what goes on in your bedroom.  And you don't know what goes on in mine."

        "I don't," Nick agreed.

        Pick.  "Do you?"  Pick.

        "Do I what?"

        "Suck cock."  Pick.

        "Nick," Brian said.

        Pick pick pick pick.  "He's asking all about us, why can't I ask about him?"

        "That's not the same," Brian said.

        "You know he wants to ask.  He wants to know what we do with his brother.  He wants to know how it works.  He wants to know why I'm such a whore I have to do it with two guys at once.  He wants to know what perverted things I did to get Drew into bed with us."  Pick.

        "Nick-"

        Pick.  Pick.  "Maybe I am just a whore.  Or a slut.  Or whatever he thinks of me.  Because I like sex.  I like guys.  I like sex with guys.  I like sex with two guys at once.  I like watching two guys having sex.  I let his little brother fuck me.  I let you fuck me.  I'm just a cocksucking bottom boy.  I fuck you, and I'd fuck Drew in a second if he let me.  You've done me so much I might as well get 'Brian's Bitch' tattooed on my ass.  And-"

        "Nick, stop it."

        Pick.  "I like sex.  Drew used to be a virgin and now he's not.  I got Drew naked and hard and begging faster than you can imagine.  If it weren't for me, Drew would still be a nice little chaste boy.  But I got him to suck cock, I got him to-"

        "Nick," Brian said.

        Pick pick.  "He thinks I'm a whore seducer who's only after Drew's ass, and he blames me for all of this, because if I hadn't come on to Drew Drew wouldn't be screwing two guys.  He's right.  It's my fault.  I'm a whore and I wanted Drew and I took Drew.  I wanted to have both of you at once, and I did.  You said no, Drew was crying, I went ahead and did it anyway."

        "What?" Nick asked.

        "That's not how it was," Brian said.

        Pick.  Pick.  Pick.

        "He said you said no and Drew was crying," Nick said.

        "We didn't do anything Drew didn't want," Brian said.

        "That's what rapists say."

        Brian stood.  "I love your brother.  I am in love with Drew.  I want to be with him every minute of every day.  But I can't.  I can't quit my job and I would never think of asking him to quit his.  So we spend all of our time in different cities, on different continents, stealing phone calls when we can.  I don't need to tell you that Drew is smart and interesting and talented and lots of fun and very special.  He's beautiful.  You know him, you must know that.  He's also very sexual.  Not in a blatant way.  It's in his beauty, in his smile, the light in his eyes.  I can't keep my hands off of him - - not because I'm a lecherous person, but because he's so beautiful that I have to touch him to make sure he's real.  I don't want you to bother to try to understand the mechanics of sex between three men.  I want you to try to understand how I could be in love with your brother.  And if you know him at all, you have to understand."

        Pick.  Pick.  Pick.

        "I know that you and Nick are in love," Nick said, rising slowly.  "I'm worried that your love will come to exclude Drew."

        "We're all worried," Brian said.  "Because Nick and I are very close, and Drew's far away.  But I can't stop loving Drew, no matter where he is.  I can't.  It hurts, missing him, it's awful, but I can't let go."

        "You fell for him awfully fast."

        "I'd been interested in him for a while.  That's what killed me when Nick started getting to know him.  And that's what helped, too, knowing that Nick was moving on to someone like Drew, someone I could trust with the person I loved.  Someone I came to love, too."

        Pick.  Pick.

        "You asked me, I might as well ask you.  Do you love Drew?" Brian asked.

        "Very much," Nick said.  "He's the most important person in my life.  Besides Jeff."

        "You can understand what we see in him."

        "Yes."

        "Can you understand that I love him?"

        "Yes."

        "Although I think you're starting to wonder what I see in Nick."

        Nick smiled.

        Pick.  Pick.

        "Nick's upset," Brian said.

        "I noticed."

        "I love Drew.  And I love Nick.  Drew loves me, and Drew loves Nick.  Nick."

        Pick.  "Yeah."

        "You love me?"

        Pick.  "Yeah."

        "You love Drew?"

        Pick.  "Yeah."

        "Any questions?" Brian asked Nick.

        "Are you sure you want to keep being with someone who has such an idiot for a brother?"

        Pick.  Pick.  "Don't insult Aaron."

        Brian smiled and said, "As long as you believe that I love Drew, and that I'm committed to making sure that this relationship is positive and healthy, we're okay.  And as long as you believe that Nick is a warm, fun, creative, beautiful person, despite the impression he's making right now."

        Pick.

        "Okay.  I can believe all of that," Nick said.

        Pick.  "Ha."

        "Can we call in Drew and tell him we're all one big happy family?" Brian asked.

        "Sure."  Joey was passing; Nick called, "Joey.  Do you know where Drew and Jeff are?"

        "They're right here, hold on."  Joey left.  A moment later, Jeff and Drew walked into the lounge slowly.

        "Everything okay?" Jeff asked.

        "I don't see new bruises," Drew said.

        "We finished yelling and now we're ready to share warm fuzzies," Brian said.  "I think we're at the group hug stage."

        "All is forgiven?" Drew asked.

        "I really like him," Nick told Drew.  "You can keep him."

        "Only Brian?  You don't like Nick?" Drew asked.

        "He grows on you," Brian told Nick.

        Pick.  Pick.  "Like a fungus."

        "Would you stop communing with your kneecaps?" Brian asked.  Nick glanced up and stood, running his hand through his hair.

        "He's taller than you," Drew told his brother.

        "I noticed," Nick said.

        "Ha," Nick said.

        "Stop that," Brian said.

        "Can you two hug and make up now?" Jeff asked the brothers.  "Officially?  Shake on it?"

        Nick offered his hand.  Drew shook it.  Nick pulled him in closer and hugged him.  Drew hugged back.  They squeezed each other for a moment; then Nick pulled back and, for one brief second, kissed Drew.

        "Holy shit," Nick Carter said.

        Drew turned and said, very sternly, "No."

        "But-"

        "No," Drew ordered.  "No."

        Nick sat.  "Wow."  He picked at his jeans again.  "Wow."

        "I try to be a sensitive modern man who's not penned in by gender stereotypes and cultural boundaries, and see what happens?" Nick asked.

        "It's okay," Drew said.  "I appreciated it."

        Pick.  "Me too."  Pick.  "Wow."

        Jeff laughed.  "Good luck with him."  He pulled Nick from the room.

        "You have severe problems," Drew told Nick Carter.  "First you want to have sex with my brother-in-law, and now, I don't even want to say that out loud."

        Pick.  Pick.  "Wow."

        "What did I miss?" Brian asked.

        "It was yesterday when you got upset and left.  I can understand being curious about other people, that's natural, but Nick Carter, you stop thinking about that!"

        Pick.  Pick.  "What if-"

        "No."

        Brian tried not to smile.  "It did look-"

        "Don't you start," Drew protested.

        "It-"

        "No!"

        Pick.  "Methinks the lady doth protest too much."

        "You don't know Shakespeare," Drew said.  "Be quiet."

        Pick.

        Brian smiled.

        Pick.

        "How did it look?" Drew asked.

        "Really good," Brian said.

        Pick.  "Fucking hot."

        "That too," Brian said.

        "He's my brother," Drew said.

        "He's gorgeous.  You're gorgeous.  I think it's the mouths," Brian said.

        Pick.  Pick.  "Made me hard."

        "What doesn't?" Drew asked.

        Pick.  "That wasn't nice."

        "Sorry.  I'm sorry.  But I'm not going to kiss my brother just so you can drool."

        Pick.  "Can I kiss him?"

        "No!"

        Pick.  Pick.  "What about Jeff?"

        "Remind me again why I defended you," Brian said.

        Pick.  Pick.  "What about Brian and Jeff?"

        "What?" Brian asked.

        Nick stood again.  "I think you'd look good together.  Or Drew and Jeff."

        "You're insane," Drew decided.  "I think it's official."

        "Mmm.  Brian and Jeff.  Drew and Nick.  Me and Joey's camera."

        "Joey's camera and I," Drew corrected.

        "So you'll do it?"

        "No!" Drew exclaimed.  "If I'm going to have sex with anybody, it's you and Brian!"

        "Sex?  I wasn't talking about sex.  Did I mention sex?  You're filthy and perverted," Nick said.

        "I'm...I...  You're evil."

        "Satan.  Nice to meet you."  Nick kissed his cheek.  "Come on, I have to go find JC."

        Brian and Drew watched him go.  "I can't believe I love him," Drew said.

        "I can't believe how much I love him," Brian said.

        "Yeah," Drew admitted with a soft smile, "that, too."

        "Come on.  We might as well go with him.  Keep him out of trouble."

        "You really thought that..."

        "You sure you want to ask me?"

        "I don't think so."

        "You know that Nick's spinning whole fantasies in his head about that now.  And I'm sure that our first night away from you, he'll start talking about that."

        "That's just...it's so sick and wrong."

        "That's why we like it."

        "You really do?"

        "Your brother kissed you.  It had nothing to do with sex.  It had nothing to do with sex at all.  But something in our brains just saw one gorgeous man and another gorgeous man and that...does something.  Maybe it's wrong.  Maybe it's harmless."

        "I guess Nick's stopped worrying that he's too interested in sex."

        "Now he's embracing his perversions wholeheartedly."

        "Rejoicing in them."

        "Should make tonight interesting."

        Drew smiled.  "I can't wait."

        "If the bus starts a-rocking, don't come a-knocking!"

        "Oh my god," Justin said.

        "If the bus starts a-rocking, don't come a-knocking!"

        JC shook with silent laughter.

        "If the bus starts a-rocking, don't come a-knocking!"

        "They must have seen..they...oh my god," Justin said again.

        "If the bus starts a-rocking, don't come a-knocking!"

        "We have the best fans," JC said.

        "We can't stay in here."

        "All right.  Come on."

        Justin climbed out, JC following.  They stepped off of the bus; the chanting broke into screams and applause.  "I am so embarrassed," Justin told JC.

        "I know."  JC's hand rested at the small of his back, reassuring, comforting.  JC waved to the fans and guided Justin back into the hotel.  Once inside, JC's hand dropped.

        "JC?" Justin asked.  JC looked at him.  "Why won't you talk to me?"

        "What do you want me to say?" JC asked.

        "Don't tell me what I want to hear.  Tell me what's wrong.  Tell me why you're avoiding me."

        "I've had a lot on my mind."

        "Can you talk to me about it?"

        "Not yet.  Not now."

        Justin looked directly into JC's eyes.  "You're scaring me.  You're ignoring me and avoiding me and you won't talk to me and you touch me differently.  We're supposed to be friends.  You're supposed to talk to me.  We're supposed to be partners.  We share things."

        JC kissed Justin and tugged a curl above Justin's nape.  "Do you want me to be honest?"

        "Yes.  Don't lie to me.  We've never lied."

        "I want a divorce."

        "What?  JC, no, what?" Justin asked, wrapping his hand around JC's wrist.

        JC pulled away gently.  "I want a divorce.  I'm not sure how it would work.  Change our names back, tear up some of the paperwork.  The church might-"

        "You love me.  I know you love me."

        "It's not about that."

        "Then what the - - what's it about?  You found somebody else?  Is it your precious career?  Are you-"

        "I have never put anything or anyone ahead of you and you fucking well know it."

        "Don't swear at me."

        "I'm sorry."  JC's hands came up to Justin's face, cupping Justin's chin, thumbs running over Justin's lips.  "I'm sorry, baby."

        "Don't leave me.  You promised you'd never leave me.  You promised."

        "I know."  JC hugged him, held him close.  "I know."

        "Just tell me what's wrong."

        JC closed his eyes, trying to memorize this feeling all over again. Justin in his arms, Justin against his body, Justin under his hands.  The warm cotton over Justin's skin, the line and curve of Justin's shoulder in his palm.

        [Will JC divorce Justin?  Will Nick Carter get "Brian's Bitch" tattooed on his butt?  Will the Backstreet Boys's next album be in pig Latin, sparking a pig Latin pop sensation?  Tune in to "No One" Part Three.]