Copyright September 14-October 1, 2000 by Matthew Haldeman-Time (actually, 3:30 a.m. October 2)

Rating: NC-17 for graphic male-male sex

Disclaimer: The young men who comprise 98 Degrees, the Backstreet Boys, and *NSYNC are their own people.  The author has not met anyone here described, nor does the author mean to suggest that these people act this way in real life.  This writing is a work of fiction.  I make no money from this venture.

Dedication: This slashfic is for Ewan McGregor and the Savage Garden slashers.

Notice: This piece follows "I Need You Tonight," its sister fic "Boy Lead the Way to Ecstasy," and the sequel to both, "Not Easy."

        "What thing?" Brian asked.

        "He means cocksucking," Nick said.

        "Oh," Brian said.

        "Is it only for that?  Or can it apply to other things?" Drew asked.

        "Works for everything, I guess," Nick said.  "For fucking."

        "You said it isn't about pain?"

        "Pain?" Brian asked.

    Nick sighed.  "Amateurs.  Look.  Just think about blow jobs.  Soft is all nice and sweet, all gentle, and it makes you feel like your cock is going to explode if he licks you like that one more time.  The more sensitive you are, the worse it is, the better it feels.  Hard, you feel like your balls are being sucked out right through your cock.  Soft is about enjoying the taste of it.  Hard is about making him come so hard he forgets his name.  Soft makes him beg, hard makes him scream.  You with me?"

        Drew nodded.

        "The pleasure/pain thing, we don't do S&M or B&D or whatever it's called, I don't even know.  I just like it when Brian uses his nails.  Or his teeth.  Just a little scratch of pain to make it feel so much better."

        "Teeth?" Drew asked.  Nick just grinned.  Brian tried not to blush.  "You always...make it soft for me."

        "Yeah," Nick said.

        "Why?"

        "I don't think you can take it hard."

        "How do you know?"

        "You wanna try?"

        "Now?"

        "You wanna do it?" Nick asked Brian.

        "You go ahead," Brian said.

        "Yeah, I'm the original Hoovermouth," Nick said.

        "Nick, what about the..."  Brian looked at Nick.

        "Yeah.  Drew?" Nick asked.

        "What?" Drew asked.  "Great.  You're talking in code again."

        "When we do it hard, we usually use our fingers."

        "Right."  He remembered that, now.

        "Is that okay?"

        "Do you have to?"

        "No.  Not if you don't want it."

        "But it's-"

        "Drew.  It's cool.  Whatever you want.  You don't have to prove anything."

        "I'm not."

        "Right.  You're not trying to prove anything.  You've just been dying for somebody to suck your cock so hard it comes off."

        "It's not going to come off."

        "Feels like it," Nick said.

        "You really use teeth?"

        "I think that it's time for the live demonstration part of our sex ed course," Nick said, rolling from the couch and getting to his feet, setting his glasses on the table.  "Come on, Brian, you can be our audience volunteer."  He took Brian's hand and pulled Brian to stand.

        "What are we doing?" Brian asked.

        "We're going to pretend that it's just us.  So Drew can see what we do when he's not here."

        "Are you sure?  We only have a few more days here.  Is there enough time?"

        Nick grinned.  "We'll just have to skip the part with the chocolate sauce and the trapeze."

        "But that's my favorite part."  Brian looked into Nick's eyes, sliding easily into that place, that place where it was just the two of them, just he and Nick, together, alone, shutting out everything else.  He pulled Nick closer, closing his eyes, parting his lips.  He'd been here before, many times before, but it was new every time, it hit him every time.  It was familiar territory, but how could he get used to it?  Get used to Nick's mouth on his?  Get used to Nick's hands on his body?  Get used to hearing Nick whisper his name in that hot, low voice that only came out when Nick was...how did Nick put it...feeling the burn?

        They kissed, and the world fell away around Brian.  They could have been in any hotel, at any moment in the tour, even at his apartment in Florida.  But a deep happy place inside kept whispering, flashing into his mind, "Drew's here."  Drew was there, with them, the Drew he'd missed so badly and ached for every night.  Because he loved Nick, and making love with Nick was indescribable, but he needed Drew, too.  And Drew was here now.

        "Wait," Nick said.

        Brian sighed.  "What?"

        "Where's the lube?"

        "We had it here.  We haven't needed it since then."

        "I took it to Drew's room."

        "What?  When?"

        "When he got here and - - hey, don't give me that look.  It could have come in handy.  You didn't know."

        "But we didn't use it there, so where did you put it?"

        "It's probably still in my jeans.  And they're around here somewhere."

        "You're ruining the moment."

        Nick kissed him.  "Here, get naked while I look."

        "Romeo."  Nick smacked his butt and went to rummage through suitcases.  Brian sighed and started to get undressed.  Drew was standing there watching.  "Give me a hand?"

        "He's not here," Nick said from a suitcase.

        "We don't get any more audience participation?" Brian asked.

        "No.  Shit.  It's not in my jeans."

        "You lost the lube entirely?"

        "We could always borrow some.  It's not like nobody else around here uses it.  I don't think Justin's going to be needing his any time soon."

        "It has to be here somewhere."

        "Drew, did you see it anywhere?"

        Drew crossed his arms over his chest and eyed the ceiling.

        "Drew?" Nick asked.

        Brian smiled.  "He's not here."

        Nick stood and came over to Drew.  "Drew?  Do you know where the lube is?"

        Drew hummed lightly.

        "Drew, come on, please.  Please?  We can't have sex if we don't have it.  Do you know where it is?"

        "We could just do other stuff," Brian said.

        "Oh, like I'm going to spend all week not getting laid?  I don't think so," Nick said.  "Drew?  Baby?"

        "Baby?" Brian repeated.

        "What am I supposed to call him?  Snoogly-Woogums?"

        Drew smiled.

        "Drew, baby, please?" Nick asked.  "If we don't have lube, we can't fuck, and then you can't watch."

        "Not everyone is a voyeur," Brian said.

        "Since when?" Nick asked.  He trailed his fingers along Drew's chin.  "Please?"

        "This could be fun," Brian said, and sat on the foot of the bed in his jeans.

        "Oh, not everyone's a voyeur," Nick muttered.  "Drew, please?  Please please please?"

        "You want me to go look in his room?" Brian asked.

        "I'd rather do a strip search," Nick said.

        "I can't believe you're not trying to kiss the information out of him," Brian said.

        "I can't kiss him."

        "You can't?  Because he's not there?"

        "Because the last person who kissed him was his brother.  It makes my balls tingle."

        Drew glared at Nick.

        Nick grinned.  "Tingle tingle."

        "You have problems," Brian said.  "Drew, do you know where the lube is?"

        "One of the benefits," Drew said, "of having three people in a relationship, is that one can make a supply run while the other two get started.  It's in my room.  I'll go get it."

        "Thank you," Brian said, and leaned off of the bed toward Drew.

        "No no no," Nick said, stepping between them.  "No kissing.  You'll ruin the tingle."

        "I'll get the lube, then I'll wash my lips with Clorox or something, then I'll come back," Drew said, and left.

        "Clorox?" Brian asked from his seat on the bed.  "Ouch.  And you," he smacked Nick's stomach, "you need to behave."

        "I am," Nick said, and ran his fingers through Brian's hair.  "I'm being very good."

        "Stop talking about his brother."

        "I can't help it.  It gave me all sorts of fun dirty thoughts."

        "I know.  It's that mouth."

        "Which mouth?"

        "Both of them."

        "Wide.  And soft.  With all of those curves.  That's a kissing mouth."

        "Which?"

        "Both."

        They sighed.  Brian said, "Okay, but just because it gave me dirty thoughts too doesn't mean you should keep talking about it.  You're going to put him in therapy or something."

        "You wouldn't like to see-"

        "No."

        "Just once?"

        "No."

        "Why not?"

        "Drew is my lover.  Nick is married.  And, hello, Nickolas, they're brothers.  Brothers.  Brothers.  Literally.  There are some taboos around for a reason."

        "I know.  I know!  Don't look at me like that.  I get the whole thing.  I didn't mean I really...  I wouldn't mind making out with Jeff, though."

        "Well, we all have our..."

        "Really?  All of us?  What's yours?"

        "I don't have one."

        "I don't believe you.  Come on, tell me.  I want Jeff, who do you want?"

        Brian looked up at Nick and tried not to blush.  "Nick."

        "Nick.  Nick Drew's brother Nick?  Nick Jeff's husband Nick?"

        "Be quiet."

        "You want Nick?  You have a thing for people named Nick or for people named Lachey?"

        "Be quiet."

        "I'm so proud of you."  Nick kissed him.  "I bet you could have had him.  Before.  If you'd tried.  But he's married now.  And so's Jeff.  Hey."  Nick's eyes sparkled.  "Think we could get them to-"

        "No," Brian said firmly.

        The door opened.  "What'd I miss?" Drew asked, locking the door, tossing the lubricant to Nick.

        Nick caught it.  "Lots."

        "Nothing," Brian said.

        "I guess I don't want to know, then," Drew said.

        "Drew?" Nick asked.  "If you didn't have me and Brian, who would you want?"

        "What?"

        "You know.  The person you wouldn't mind making out with if you had the chance."

        "I have you and Brian.  I don't-"

        "Just tell me.  Come on.  I won't tell."

        "Is this a good idea?" Drew asked.

        "I'll tell you mine," Nick said.

        "I don't want to know."

        "I'll tell you Brian's."

        Drew sighed and scratched his forehead.  "Okay.  Tell me."

        "I want Jeff."

        "You do have a thing for short older men.  I knew it," Drew said.  "Next thing you'll want Chris and Howie."

        "Brian wants Nick."

        "Nick my brother?" Drew asked.  "You're kidding.  Brian, he threw you across a table."

        "We weren't getting along," Brian said.

        "Should I be worried about this?" Drew asked.

        "Nope.  Tell us.  Who's your person?" Nick asked.

        Drew sighed and muttered something.

        "What?" Nick asked.

        "JC," Drew said.

        "JC?" Brian repeated.  "JC Chasez?"

        "JC Timberlake Chasez," Nick corrected.

        "We have the same birthday and I have a thing for cheekbones and he's I don't want to talk about it," Drew said, avoiding their eyes.

        "Drew has a crush on JC," Nick said.

        "Drew's lying to us," Brian said.

        "Drew doesn't lie," Nick said.

        "Drew's lying," Brian said.

        "How am I supposed to get in the mood for sex now?" Nick asked.

        Brian smiled.  "Just think about Jeff."

        "You really think Drew's lying to us?" Nick asked.  "You think he really wants Liam Neeson and he's afraid to tell us?"

        "Liam Neeson," Brian said.  "Now I can't get in the mood."

        Nick laughed.  "Sorry.  Maybe he wants..."  Nick glanced around the room and whispered, "a female person."

        "He's a closet heterosexual?" Brian asked.

        "Hey, you never know.  Kids these days..."

        Drew sat beside Brian on the foot of the bed.  "I'm not straight."

        "You're bi?" Nick asked.

        "I'm gay and you know it."

        "And in love with Liam Neeson," Nick said.

        "You're going to give me nightmares," Brian said.

        "Tom Cruise?" Nick guessed.

        "No," Drew said.

        "Michael Jackson?" Nick guessed.

        Drew crossed himself.  "No."

        "I give up," Nick said.  "Brian knows who it is."

        "It's none of our business," Brian said.  "Come and have sex with me."

        "I'm glad it's not JC," Nick told Drew.  "He's way too seriously taken.  And he's in *NSYNC.  Have some class."

        "You and JC are friends," Brian told Nick.  "And you and Justin are friends."

        "Yeah, but I don't sleep with them."

        Brian looked up at him.  "Am I going to have to ask you for sex twice?"

        "No way."

        "Thank you.  I've never had to ask you twice and I'd rather not start now."

        "I'll never make you ask twice," Nick promised, kissing him.  "Sex now.  Sex sex sex.  More naked."

        Drew watched them make love.  He watched them fall into each other until they were the only two people in the universe.  He watched them stroke over each other's bodies, as familiar with each other as with themselves.  He watched Nick's body shimmer away when Brian's blunt fingernails came too close to sensitive skin.  He watched Brian's teeth scrape across Nick's pec, heard Nick's hiss when Brian's teeth tugged gently on a nipple.  Brian never bit Nick hard enough to distract Nick from the pleasure.  Drew didn't know how Brian knew where to bite and when and how hard, but it always seemed like it was just right for Nick.  Maybe the knowledge came with time and practice.  Or maybe Brian just knew Nick.

        Drew never had seen anything like this.  Live and in person, in the bed he'd slept in only hours ago, two young men were making love.  Well, all right, he had seen it.  He'd seen Nick and Brian make love before, four months ago in another hotel room.  But this time, Nick made love to Brian, and that much he'd never seen.  He couldn't believe that he'd gone a day without it.

        He'd made love to Brian once.  Made Brian look like that.  Made Brian sound like that.  Felt Brian's body under his, around his.  Made Brian feel like that?  He hoped so.  He hoped that he'd made Brian feel half, one-tenth, as good as Brian seemed to be feeling right now.  Made Brian sweat, and moan, and clutch for control.

        What did that feel like?  What could Brian be feeling?  What was it like to have another person, another man, enter, possess, control you?  It was purely a violation.  And it was a pure violation.  But it was impure.  Unholy; but Brian kept pleading to God for help.  How did that feel?  What was Brian going through, right here, right now, with Nick thrusting into his body?  Why shouldn't Nick enter Brian's body?  Nick was already in Brian's heart.  Mind.  Soul.

        Their bodies separated, and Nick laid down beside Brian.  "Wow."

        Brian pushed his hair back from his face.

        "Don't pass out," Nick said.

        "You wish."

        "I'm so jealous."

        "Still?"

        "I never made you pass out."

        "Nick, I hadn't gotten laid since we broke up, it was-"

        "It's not that and you know it.  It's 'cause Drew's so fucking good.  So good at fucking.  Whatever."

        "You'd know."

        "Do I ever."

        Brian sighed.  "Don't be jealous.  It was my first time in what felt like ten years, it was my first time with Drew, it was Drew's first time-"

        "And he made you come so hard you passed out."

        "You're determined to take this personally.  Tell you what.  Why don't you, when it's Drew's first time, make him pass out?"

        "Okay."

        "Good."

        Nick looked up and reached out limply.  "Drew, c'mere."

        Drew took Nick's hand and climbed onto the bed, clothes and all, crawling over Nick and lying beside Brian.

        "Hi," Brian said, pleased, amused.

        "What's it like?" Drew asked, eyes narrow with questions.

        "What's what like?"

        "Getting fucked," Nick said.

        "So you're fluent in Drew-speak?" Brian asked.

        "He's been asking me about sex since we met," Nick said.

        "What's it like?" Drew repeated.

        "He has?" Brian asked.

        "What I like, how I do it, what it's like, what you're like, how you do it-"

        "He asked you how I have sex?"

        "I whet his appetite, he wet his shorts."

        "What's it like?" Drew asked again.

        "Getting...being made love to?" Brian asked.  "It's..."

        "Wait, didn't we already do this?" Nick asked.  "He fucked you, I came in and asked you what it was like, you were really uninformative."

        "Yeah," Brian said.  "You expected me to be able to talk after he was through with me?"

        "You're talking now after I'm through with you."

        "I've had a minute to recover.  Last time, you came in when he was still in me."

        "And if that wasn't a sight," Nick said, and whistled.

        Drew sighed and settled on his back between them, gazing at the ceiling.

        Nick turned his head and looked at Brian; Brian looked back at Nick.  As one, they rose on either side of Drew.  Drew looked from one to the other, wide-eyed.  "Guys?"

        "Sshhh," Nick said.  He leaned across Drew and kissed Brian.  "No kissing him," Nick said.  "I'm still tingly."  Then Nick slid down the bed to take off Drew's sneakers while Brian pushed up Drew's shirt.

        "Brian?" Drew asked.  Brian only worked his shirt over his head and tossed it overboard. Brian slid down his body efficiently and opened his jeans.

        "Nick, stop sucking his toes," Brian admonished.  "When I get his pants off you can go back."  Nick helped Brian to strip Drew, then went back to Drew's feet while Brian's hands slid slowly down Drew from shoulders to waist.  "All mine," Brian mused.  "What would I like to do tonight?"

        "Something illegal, I'm guessing," Nick said.

        "Is it illegal here?" Brian asked.

        "I think so," Nick said.

        "Drew won't let me anyway," Brian said.  "I'll have to find something else to do.  We don't want to break the law, now, do we?"

        Nick snorted.  "Fall in love with another man and want to express that love physically - - oh oh, big no-no, jail time for you."

        "We should have pure love that's above such base matters," Brian said.

        "Oh, but it's okay for straight people to fuck?" Nick asked.

        "Their hearts aren't pure, I guess.  They're stuck as gross physical beings.  We have pure spiritual love that doesn't need to be expressed through sex."

        "Oh.  Good.  Wait.  No sex?  And what are you doing that's making him sound like that?"

        "Stop licking his arches," Brian said.  "I think he's ticklish."

        "Then you stop touching him like that."

        "But I like to put my hands on his body."

        "It's a nice body."

        "You think so?"

        "You know.  As perfection goes."  For a moment the only sound from Nick was from Nick's tongue.  Then, "Hey.  Drew got here yesterday."

        "Yes."

        "And so far all he's done is give you half a blow job."

        "If you want to get technical about it, yeah."

        "And I sucked him off."

        "Yeah."

        "We're falling behind in our schedule."

        "You have a schedule?"

        "We're about thirty-seven orgasms short," Nick said.  "We'd better get moving."

        "Orgasms only count if they include Drew?" Brian asked.

        "Drewgasms," Nick said.  "It's Drew week.  You give me orgasms on an hourly basis, that's different."

        "I do not," Brian said.

        "Believe me, you do."

        Brian reached behind himself and pulled Nick's hair.  "Go back to your foot fetish and let me kiss Drew."

        "No kissing," Nick ordered.

        "Didn't we agree that that mouth was made for kissing?" Brian asked.

        "Look but don't touch.  Amuse yourself with the rest of him.  It's not like there isn't plenty there."  Nick smirked.

        Brian laughed.  "Bad Nick."

        "Honest Nick."

        "Drew?"  Brian settled on top of Drew.  "Nice.  Drew?"

        "What," Drew said, curling Brian's hair over his fingers.

        "Nick says I can't kiss you.  I just want to know exactly what else is off-limits."

        "Off-limits," Drew repeated.

        "Yeah."  Brian waited, feeling Drew breathe.  "Nick, help us out here."

        "Brian wants to know if he can touch your ass," Nick said from the foot of the bed.  "Say, yes please ride me cowboy, or say no thank you."

        Drew swallowed.  "No thank you."

        "Okay."  Brian kissed Drew's cheek and slid down again.

        "Bet he'd let Liam Neeson lick his ass," Nick muttered.

        "Are you trying to give me nightmares?" Brian demanded.

        "You're just jealous 'cause he let me and not you."

        "He would have let me."

        "You didn't even get your fingers in him."

        "It wasn't appropriate."

        "Listen to Mr. Prim - - it wasn't appropriate.  Yeah, like when you sucked his cock five minutes later that was?"

        "What's it like?" Brian asked, licking up Drew's abs.

        "Great, now they're all asking me," Nick muttered.  "What's it like.  What are my choices?  It's hot and it's tight."

        "Tighter than you?"

        Nick snorted.  "Probably."

        "No, I mean it."

        "I don't know," Nick said, "I don't-"

        "Oh, sure you don't."

        Nick blushed.  "Okay.  Maybe.  Sometimes.  Before."

        Brian smiled and licked over Drew's pecs.

        "Anyway, he was a little tighter than you are, but I think that was nerves.  And he was tighter than me, fine, yes."

        "Did he feel good?"

        "He felt great.  He felt fantastic."

        "How did he..."

        "You know I'm going to make you say it."

        "How did he taste?"

        "That's me, Nick Carter, ass...ass...what's the word?"

        "Connoisseur," Brian said.

        "Spell that," Nick muttered.

        "No way," Brian said.

        "C-O-N-N-"

        "No," Nick said.  "You're being quiet, not winning the spelling bee."

        "Why do all of your plans involve me being quiet?" Drew asked.

        "What were we talking about?" Nick asked.

        "You being an ass connoisseur," Brian said.

        "Yeah.  He tastes really good.  He tastes good everywhere."

        "I noticed."

        "Did you do that?"

        "What?" Brian asked.

        "After you dumped me before you came back to me to be the love of my life."

        "Did I...no."

        "No?"

        "No."

        "Why not?"

        "There didn't seem to be any point."  Brian inhaled Drew and kissed Drew's neck.

        "No point?"  Nick crawled up the bed, over Brian, who was lying on Drew.

        "Having you touch me there...  Touching myself seemed..."

        "Like masturbation?"

        "Oh, I did that.  That's different."

        Drew moaned softly, eyes closing.

        "What's the difference between jacking yourself and finger-fucking yourself?" Nick asked.

        Brian licked Drew's neck slowly.  "When you touch me, it's personal, it's special.  Touching myself there just sounds...clinical."

        "Are you being mature and romantic or just exposing your hang-ups?"

        Brian chuckled into Drew's skin.  "The first."

        "Okay.  Can I touch you?"

        "Sure."

        "Can I lick you?"

        "Please do."

        Drew relaxed and tensed by turns as Brian kissed his neck.  Brian was a warm, solid weight on his body, soft hair brushing his chin and ear.  Brian's fingers tensed arrhythmically on his hips.  Brian's erection was hard against his own.  A soft, wet mouth made love to his skin.

        And then Brian moaned against his neck.  Changes occurred.  Intensity built.  Brian's gentle sucking became just a bit harder.  Brian's fingers dug into his skin just a bit more.  Brian's hips started to rock against his in a definite rhythm.  Brian's hands slid up his body eager to touch.  Brian held onto his shoulders and thrust against his body and he felt the quick sting of teeth against his neck and he climaxed.

        "Shit," Brian said, sounding like Nick, and fell off of the bed, and cursed again.

        Nick collapsed with laughter.

        "Gross," Brian said.

        "Brian?" Drew asked, trying to sit up, trying to remember how his muscles worked.

        "Never saw anybody fall off the bed and then come," Nick said.  "I thought it was supposed to be the other way around."

        "I bit Drew," Brian said.

        "Really?" Nick said.  "That's not really a reason to hurl yourself off of the highest surface."

        Drew was sitting up now.  He was covered in semen, and Brian was sitting on the carpet wearing semen, and Nick was lying at the foot of the bed laughing.  He smiled and reached down to Brian.  "I liked it."

        "Liked what?" Brian asked.

        "When you...used your teeth."  He pulled Brian close and leaned in and whispered, "It made me come."

        Brian flushed and looked at him.  "Really."

        "Really."

        "No kissing," Nick said quickly.  "Are you telling secrets?"

        "Drew likes teeth," Brian said.

        "Good.  'Cause have you looked at Brian's canines?" Nick asked.

        "Wicked," Drew agreed.  "I like to lick them."

        "You're priceless," Brian said, and kissed his cheek in lieu of his mouth.  "I'll go get a washcloth or something."

        "Isn't anybody going to get me off?" Nick asked.

        "You have hands," Brian said, and kissed him, then went to the bathroom.

        "So mean to me," Nick said.  "Drew, will you do it?"

        "I'm not allowed to use my mouth," Drew said.

        "You can touch me," Nick said.  "I like it when you touch me."

        "How long will we be barred from kissing Drew?" Brian asked, coming out again.  He wiped up Drew, a little more thoroughly than was warranted, and then himself.  He tossed the washcloth in the direction of the bathroom and sat down behind Drew, winding his limbs around Drew.

        "Until the tingle wears off," Nick said.

        "That could be fifty years," Brian said.  "Nick, if you're quiet for a few minutes, really quiet, and don't say anything, I'll get you off."

        Nick frowned, frowned harder, then nodded.  He sat at the foot of the bed and waited.

        Brian, around and behind Drew, smoothed Drew's hair.  "Drew."

        Nick chewed his lower lip to keep quiet.

        "You don't have to tell us who you'd like to be with.  We know that you love us and you want to be with us.  If you do have a little guilty interest in somebody else, that's natural.  It's normal.  And it's private.  It's nobody else's business.  It's not our business."

        Nick sat on his hands.

        "Maybe you're curious about somebody else.  Maybe you're wondering what it's like to be with him.  What it would be like to touch him in a different way.  What it might feel like to have his hands on you."

        Drew was staring at Brian's shin.  Brian was running a slow, soothing hand up and down Drew's side.  Nick was chewing his lips.

        "Maybe you feel guilty about that.  Because you already have us, two people who love you very much.  And maybe he's off-limits.  Jeff, for example.  He's married.  He's your brother-in-law.  He's practically your brother."

        Nick squeezed his eyes shut tight.

        "It's okay.  It's not hurting anybody.  It's just curiosity.  Fantasy.  You're having a sexual awakening, and he's with you a lot of the time, so close, so gorgeous, so masculine and sexual.  You shouldn't feel guilty.  You shouldn't feel bad.  We all think about other people.  We all wonder.  You're not cheating on us.  You're not hurting him."

        Nick clapped his hands over his mouth.

        "I shouldn't," Drew said.

        "What if you were curious about Jeff?" Brian said.  "What would be so wrong?"

        "He's...he's my friend, we work together, we're close, we're...it would hurt...  And he's married, he's already...  He's married to Nick, he's...it's like...he's my brother-in-law."

        "Nick and I are in the same group," Brian said.  "JC and Justin."

        "He's married.  He's related to me."

        Nick clamped his hands over his ears and curled over on himself.

        "It's natural to feel desire."

        "Not for him."

        "He's very close to you.  You know him.  You know how gorgeous and talented and special he is."

        "It's not...it's not right."

        "It doesn't have to be wrong."

        "God would strike me down.  My mother would kill me.  They'd...they'd..."

        "Tell me."

        "They wouldn't understand.  I don't understand."

        "Don't confuse love with being in love.  Don't confuse feeling desire for being in love."

        "I love and I want, but I'm not in love?"

        "You're in love with me and Nick.  Don't over-extend yourself.  Even the most generous heart can only feel so much."

        "Why are you encouraging me?"

        "I want you to accept what you're feeling."

        "Why?  I can't...I can't do anything.  It just...makes me confused and guilty."

        "I don't like to see you miserable."

        "I'm not.  I can't be miserable when I have you."

        "Okay.  We'll end there since you're being sweet."  Brian kissed the back of Drew's neck.  He squeezed Drew and untangled himself, going to Nick.

        Nick popped open like a jack-in-the-box.  "Brian!  He-"

        Brian put his hand over Nick's mouth.  "Not one word.  You be quiet.  Quiet.  Don't."

        Nick's eyes were wide, trying to communicate.

        "You stay quiet.  I'll give you a blowjob, your brain will explode, and you'll forget everything you heard.  Okay?"

        Nick blinked quickly.

        "Okay.  Not a word."

        Once Brian had exploded Nick's brain, Nick remained lying sprawled across the bed, panting.  Drew laid down and Brian curled up behind him, resting.  "Wow," Nick said.

        "Quiet," Brian said.

        "Wait."  Brian sighed.  "Drew's having a sexual awakening?"

        "Yes," Brian said.

        "He's like twenty-four."

        "He's a late bloomer."

        "Still waiting for my growth spurt," Drew muttered.

        Brian pet Drew's chest.  "It's your fault," he told Nick.

        "My fault he's short?" Nick asked.  Drew kicked him.

        "It's your fault he's having a sexual awakening," Brian explained.

        "Oh.  Really?  I did that?" Nick asked.  "Talk about...wow...I...I'm honored. I should get a medal for this.  Do they give Nobel Prizes for that?"

        "I get to help some," Brian said, "but you're to blame."

        "This is the best day of my life.  Okay, one of them."  Peace.  "Can I ask-"

        "No," Brian said.

        "But I-"

        "No."

        "I still don't understand."

        "Good."

        "You can't leave me hanging like this.  I'm so close to figuring it out.  Come on, Brian, the suspense is killing me.  I hardly know where to tingle."

        "This is Drew's personal-"

        "Come on.  You know you can trust me.  Drew's in love with me, he knows I'm cool."

        Drew squirmed around until he was facing Brian.  He pressed his face into Brian's chest.  "Tell him."

        "Ha!"  Nick bounded up to his knees.  "Is it Nick or Jeff?  I'm trying to translate Brian-speak and Drew-speak and I got all so confused.  I thought that it was Jeff but then it sounded like code and I-"

        "It's Jeff and Nick," Brian whispered over Drew's head.

        Nick rolled off of the bed.

        "Are you okay?" Brian asked, worried.

        Faint, awed, "Wow."

        Drew shook with quiet laughter in Brian's arms.

        "Nick, you are the-"

        "Wow.  Wow.  Wow.  It's a full-body tingle.  Wow.  Wow.  I'm seeing stars."

        "You hit your head."

        "Miniature orgasms in my brain.  Wow.  Wow.  Oh my god.  Can you...just...imagine.  Picture it."

        "Don't you dare start," Brian said.

        "Wow."

        "JC's...leaving you," Joey repeated, as though the words were Greek.  "What?"

        "For what?" Chris asked.

        "I don't know.  He's just leaving."

        "Leaving *NSYNC?" Joey asked, trying to understand.

        "Me.  He's leaving me.  He wants a divorce.  He wants to change his name back.  He wants to get rid of me.  You know we did all that stuff with notaries and lawyers and whatever, we're each other's next of kin and we have joint accounts and we get to make decisions for each other if anything happens, like straight married people.  He wants to get rid of all of it.  He wants to be JC Chasez like he never married me.  Like it never happened."

        "JC wants a divorce," Chris said.  "Why?  What happened?"

        "I don't know."  Justin twisted his bandanna in his fingers.  "I knew I wouldn't be good enough.  I knew he needed more.  I tried so hard.  Maybe I tried too hard."

        "What?" Joey asked.

        "He loves me too much.  I can't be enough for that.  No one can be enough for that.  He loves too much, too...  I can't live up to it.  I thought that I could.  I thought, I tried, I...  I really thought that I could do it for him."

        "He loves you too much?" Chris asked.  "No, no, I get it," he said, "I'm just..."

        "Explain it to me," Joey said.

        "JC blew Justin into this big ideal person in his head," Chris said.  "And Justin doesn't think that he can be as good as the Justin in JC's head.  It's too much to live up to.  JC expects too much of him."

        "I'm not perfect," Justin said.

        "But I don't think that's what's wrong." Chris said.

        "You don't?" Justin asked.

        "JC loves you.  You.  With the hair and the cute little nose and everything.  He knows you're not perfect.  He worships you, yeah, but it's you, it's not some Super-Justin in his head.  He's hopelessly devoted to you."

        "Grease," Joey said.

        "That's all you understood?" Chris asked.

        "No, I got the whole thing, I just like that movie," Joey said.  "Keep going."

        "I'm finished," Chris said.

        "If that's not what's wrong, then what is it?" Justin asked.

        "Well, obviously something's wrong if you're having this low self-esteem 'I'm not good enough' thing." Chris said.  "What if JC's doing the same thing?"

        "Thinking he's not good enough?" Joey asked.

        "Right," Chris said.  "You know, he's got Justin on a pedestal.  He might not think that he's enough for Justin."

        "So they both think they're not good enough," Joey said.  "Because they love each other too much.  This is stupid."

        "He can't divorce you," Chris said.  "It's true love.  You have to be together forever."

        "Where's our confident sassy Justin?" Joey asked.

        "I'm not sassy," Justin said.

        "You used to be," Joey said.

        "Mopey depressed Justin just doesn't sell albums," Chris said.

        "You could try Goth Justin," Joey said.

        "But then you couldn't rap," Chris said.

        "Justin Timberlake, human beatbox," Joey said.

        "Justin Timberlake Chasez," Justin corrected.

        Joey grinned.  "Prove it,"

        "Hey." Justin said, glancing at JC in the bathroom mirror.  "Come help me."

        "With what?" JC asked, not coming any closer.

        "My mascara."

        "Mascara?"

        "I got some from one of the Backstreet Boys.  I promised not to say who."  Justin sneezed.  "Bless me."  He unscrewed the cap and stared into the mirror.  "How do I do this?  See, this is why we have make-up people."

        "What are you doing?"

        "Trying out Goth Justin.  Just to see how it goes.  I might need different jewelry.  Do I tuck in my shirt or not?"

        JC watched Justin remove necklace, earrings, rings.  One piece of jewelry remained, completely ignored, not considered for removal.

        "I guess so."  Justin unzipped the pants and tucked in his shirt and zipped up again.  "Hunh.  Good thing I haven't lost my figure."  He eyed the mascara with suspicion.  "Okay.  Guess I'll just poke out my eyes."  He paused when JC's hand closed over his wrist.  He let JC remove the mascara from his hands and looked into JC's eyes patiently.  "Wrong shade?"  JC let go of him.  "Hey.  Our marriage isn't legally binding.  So if you change your name and consider yourself divorced, but I keep your name and consider myself married, if you get married again are you a bigamist?  Are you committing adultery every time you have sex with somebody else?  If I kill your new boyfriend, will you visit me in jail?"

        "I don't have a boyfriend."

        "You don't think that you have a husband either, but you do, so I don't know, maybe you do have a boyfriend.  How would I know, you never talk to me anymore."

        "I don't have a boyfriend," JC snapped.

        "What am I?"

        "You're my husband," JC said, breathing hard.

        "Good.  Remember all that stuff we said?  Alone, to each other, and in church?  All that stuff about commitment and forever and always?"

        "Yes."

        "Did you mean any of it?"

        "I meant everything."

        "It just doesn't apply anymore?  No, stand here and explain it to me.  Tell me why you don't want to be with me anymore.  Tell me why you don't want to be with me."

        "It doesn't matter what I want."

        "What matters?  JC, tell me."

        "What matters is what you need."

        "But I need you."

        JC shook his head.  "I can't make you happy.  You need things I can't give you."

        "You give me everything."  Justin reached for JC's arm.

        "God," JC pulled away from him, "don't touch me."  There was no poison, no bitterness in that voice, only deep-seated pain.

        "I remember you," Justin said slowly.  "You're the Pod Person I met in the studio the first time JC kissed me.  What are you doing back here?  I thought we got rid of you."

        "Justin-"

        "I remember you," Justin said again.  "You hide things from me.  You keep secrets.  You hurt inside.  You keep JC all locked up."  He came alarmingly close and looked into JC's eyes.  "I bet JC's still in there, though.  In there, looking out, wishing you'd leave so he could get his hands on my cute little rear.  You like these pants?  I know JC likes these pants."

        "You look like you're dressed in mourning," JC muttered, turning his back.

        "I do not.  And I'm not in mourning because nothing's dead.  Nothing's over.  You're still here with me.  Why do you want to divorce me?  You think I'd be happier if you left me?  I need things you can't give me?  Like what?  There's nothing I need, JC.  And there's nothing you won't give me.  Hello, I'm young and gorgeous and talented and famous and rich, I have the best friends and family, and, hello, I have you.  As long as I have you, there's nothing else I can ever want.  You're all I need.  And JC, you give me everything.  In bed, out of bed, onstage, in the studio, every time you look into my eyes, every time you talk to me, every time you touch me.  You tell me you love me and I can't want for anything my god I'm starting to sound like a soap opera would you just tell me what's wrong?"

        JC looked at him with tight lips and dark eyes.

        "Not Pod Person.  I didn't ask for Pod Person.  I don't want to talk to him."  Justin came close to JC, put a hand on JC's shoulder.  JC flinched.  When Justin leaned in JC pulled away but Justin kissed him anyway.  Deep, deeper, until Justin's hands were clutching down JC's back and Justin's tongue licked away the secrets in JC's mouth.  Justin looked into JC's eyes and smiled.  "Oh, hi, JC.  Where did you go?"

        JC stepped back quickly, away from Justin.

        Justin rolled his eyes.  "Would you just tell me what is wrong?  All you want is my happiness, I need things you can't give.  Things like what?  Just tell me what you can't give me so I know what to look for after you divorce me and I need to cruise singles bars."

        "You're not safe with me."

        "Safe from what?  Oh, wait, I've seen this before.  You're not like other guys.  You're going through some changes.  You're...a werewolf!  Shriek!  No, that's Brian; my bad.  Safe from what?"

        "You're not funny."

        "You're hilarious.  Safe from what?"

        "Justin, men came with automatic assault rifles to kill you.  There are death threats sent to your family, hate mail, protestors, they picket our hotels and our concerts.  If you weren't with me, you'd be safer.  You could relax and enjoy yourself and not have to worry about who might be out there to shoot you dead onstage."

        "They want to kill you, too."

        "I know."

        "But you're just worried about me and it hasn't occurred to you that if we divorced you'd be safer, too?"

        Actually, it hadn't.  JC blinked.

        Justin stared at him.  "You're insane.  You're completely certifiably insane.  God, JC, I just love you."  Justin hugged him, laughing and trying not to cry.  "JC, baby, you can't do this."  Justin moved back just enough to look into his eyes, still holding him.  "JC.  It's scary and it's hard, but you know I wouldn't change it.  We've talked about it.  Our families and friends and management and everybody, we've talked about it.  And we said, you said, I said, that as long as you and I get to be together, we're okay.  It's worth it. It's scary and it's hard but it's worth it."

        "You can find someone else."

        "Someone else what?"

        "To be with you.  To love you."

        "But I don't love anybody else."

        "You could."

        "I could?  I could not.  What are you talking about?  I love you.  Just you.  My JC.  God I miss you."  He rested his forehead on JC's, breathing, one hand on the back of JC's neck, the other on JC's waist.

        "You could find someone else.  Someone you'll be safe with, someone who can love you.  Shouldn't be hard, everybody loves you."

        "Actually, some people hate me, but they're Backstreet Boys fans so they have no taste anyway."

        "You'll find someone."

        "I won't.  I won't find anyone.  I won't look for anyone.  I don't need to look for anyone.  I have you."

        "No.  You don't.  I'm leaving you."

        "You're not!" Justin shouted, despite being right in JC's face, hands tightening.  "You're not leaving me!  You can't!"

        "You'll find someone."

        "I don't want someone, I want you.  I love you."

        "You think that you need me."

        "I know I need you."

        "You'll find someone else."

        Justin jerked away with sudden comprehension.  "You think I don't love you."  He couldn't breathe.  His heart was racing with fear, anger, adrenaline.

        "I think you'd be happier with someone else."

        "We've been together, we're married, it's been a year, you think I don't...you..."

        "You love me as much as you can."

        "You're saying I'm shallow?!  I'm so self-involved I can't-"

        "You need things.  And I can give you a lot of what you need.  But I can't keep you safe, I can't make you happy."

        "I've never been happier!" Justin shouted.  Then he heard himself.  "Okay, not right this very second, but until now!  God, what the - - you love me more than I love you?  That's...  I need you, JC, just you, you make me need you.  You make me, I...  No one else can make me feel like that, like this.  You've said you're devoted, you've said you're obsessed, and I know that your feelings run deeper than most people can imagine.  I love you, JC, I need you.  You can't love anyone else this much, and I can't need anybody like I need you.  That's why we fit together.  Not because I'm selfish and spoiled and happened to run across someone who wants to give me everything.  I can't just run off and find somebody else who wants to love me.  Human emotion doesn't work like that.  I love you, I need you, just you, only you."

        JC shook his head.

        "JC, can't you just be selfish for a second and not put me first?  What if you leave me?  What then?  You won't have me anymore.  You can't kiss me anymore.  You can't touch me anymore.  You can't put your arms around me and tell me how much you love me.  Are you planning to stay in *NSYNC?  Be around me 24-7, on tour, all the time, knowing what my mouth tastes like, what my balls taste like, and not being able to do a thing about it?  And me, I'll be miserable and lonely without you, and you'll have to watch me, watch me being miserable and lonely, but you won't be able to comfort me, because you gave up that right.  And what are you going to do if somebody tries to go out with me?  Once everybody thinks I'm single, they'll be all over me, and this time it'll be girls and guys.  What are you going to do?  Watch people trying to get their hands on what used to be your property?  You're the only guy I ever kissed, JC.  What's it like, do you think, kissing other guys?  You want to see me dating other guys?  You want to live knowing other people are-"

        "Stop it," JC said, "stop it."

        "It would kill you," Justin said.  "I know it would and you know it would."

        "I'm doing it for you."

        "Then do what I want you to do!"

        "What do you want me to do?" JC demanded, losing it, completely shaken now.

        "Do what you should have done.  Walk in here, see me in these pants, and take me to bed."  Justin kissed him.  "Please, JC?"

        JC closed his eyes.  "Okay."

        "He doesn't hate me anymore," Nick said around his toothbrush.

        "Drew would never hate you.  I'm just surprised Brian doesn't."

        "Me too."

        Jeff settled on his stomach the bed, head at the foot and feet at the head, hugging a pillow, watching the bathroom.  "I think they're good together."

        "Drew and Brian?"

        "Drew and Brian and Nick."

        "Still don't see what they see in Nick."

        "He's nice.  He's fun.  He's a good guy.  Come on, when Drew first started seeing Nick, you were all for it."

        "Yeah.  I guess I got a little...thrown.  When it turned into something else."

        "When it turned into three people."

        "Yeah.  I got suspicious."

        "But it's not like that."

        "I know."  Nick rinsed his mouth and turned off the bathroom light, made sure the room door was locked, turned off the lamp.  "They're all in love and they're all cosy and happy."  In the semi-darkness he got on the bed on all fours, over Jeff.  He leaned down and kissed Jeff's shoulder, one hand working its way beneath Jeff.  "Jeff?"

        "What?"  Jeff bit back a moan.

        "What do you think it's like?"

        "I knew you wanted to ask me that.  You've been waiting all day."

        "I have not."

        "Why don't you just go see if you can borrow Brian for the night and we'll find out."

        Nick's hand stilled.  Jeff rested his forehead on the pillow.  "Brian?" Nick asked after a silence.

        "You'd rather have Nick?"

        "I'm still stuck on Brian."

        "You're in bed with me and you're thinking about Brian.  Nick, this is not something that I want to hear.  We haven't been married very long, but-"

        "You brought it up!"

        "Nick, I was kidding."  Jeff rolled over until he was on his back, facing Nick.  "You're totally out there now.  You want Brian?"

        "No.  Do you?"

        "In the sense that he's an attractive and engaging male, yes.  In the sense that I'm completely in love with you and have no eyes for anyone else, no."

        "Oh."

        "Do you understand?"

        "Yeah."  Nick scratched his shoulder.  "Yeah.  Are there...other people you find attractive and engaging?"

        "Besides you?"

        "Besides Brian."

        Jeff shrugged and ran a hand over Nick's chest.  "Sure."

        "Like who?"

        "Like we're in a building full of them.  But some are irritating and some I'm just not attracted to and some are my friends."

        "But?"

        "I like Brian.  I like Nick."

        "Nick?"

        "I think I'll stop there since you look like you've heard plenty already.  You don't like Nick and Brian?"

        "They're Drew's boyfriends."

        "They're attractive and engaging."

        "Nick overemotes," Nick muttered.

        Jeff smiled.  "And I can't dance.  That hasn't stopped you from wanting me."

        "You want him?"

        "No, Nick, I want you.  With Nick and Brian it's just one of those 'hey, if I weren't totally taken, and they weren't totally taken, and the entire universe were different, I might like to kiss him' things."

        "Oh."

        "You have those things?"

        "Those hey totally different things?"

        "Yeah."

        "I guess."

        "So you understand."

        Nick considered it.  "Yeah."

        "And you know that I couldn't possibly love you more.  And you know that brief little flickers of noticing that another human being is attractive does not make any commentary on our relationship."

        "Yeah."

        "So do we get to have sex now?"

        "Yeah."

        Brian and Nick were in the bathroom, whispering.  "...so we'll need a third party person.  Someone to break the ice.  Put out feelers."

        "I'll do some feeling."

        Brian ignored him.  "Someone we can trust."

        "JC?"

        "Let's keep this limited.  We don't need to bring another band into it."

        "Kevin?"

        "He'd kill me."

        "AJ."

        Brian nodded.  "AJ's good.  We can trust him."

        "And he's less likely to go tell your mother."

        "Don't even joke about that."

        "So we tell AJ what we want and he goes out to feel up Nick and Jeff."

        "Yeah."

        "And then Nick kills us, Jeff kills us, and Drew kills us."

        "Yeah."

        "Okay.  We've already had lots of yelling and violence this week, we might as well finish the way we started."

        "With Drew hurt and ignoring us."

        "Good.  When he comes after me and tries to pull my head off of my body with his bare hands, can I tell him that it was your idea?"

        "It was my idea.  I wish it weren't.  I'd love to be able to blame you."

        "I don't think that he'll believe that you thought of it.  Everyone's going to blame me anyway."

        "That's true."

        "Why do I have a bad rep when you're the nasty filthy-minded pervert?"

        "I'm just a good Christian country boy, Nick," Brian said innocently, and batted his lashes.

        "Can you teach me to do that?  You have this whole wholesome thing happening."

        "I don't think that you could pull it off," Brian teased, and kissed him.  "Come on, we left Drew alone in bed."

        "We left Drew in bed.  We left Drew in bed.  This concept is not making sense to me.  Drew.  In bed.  Leave?"

        Brian opened the bathroom door and then turned quickly.  One hand on Nick's wrist, he whispered, "I'm going to go talk to AJ now before I chicken out.  You distract Drew."

        "I get the fun jobs," Nick said with a grin.

        "Don't let him come until I get back."

        "But what if he wakes up hard and-"

        "Nick."

        "But-"

        "Nick."

        "But Brian...he's so...pretty when he's sleeping."

        "I thought I was pretty when I slept," Brian said.

        "You are."  Nick kissed him.

        "Behave."  Brian kissed Nick and left, scooping up the room key on his way.

        Nick turned and licked his lips, approaching the bed.  In his boxers and T-shirt, he climbed over Drew, who was sleeping comfortably on one side beneath the covers. Nick tugged down the sheets a little to expose Drew's upper left arm and shoulder.  He kissed the sleep-warmed skin and muscle.

        Drew shifted, frowning then smiling, rolling to his back, eyes opening and smiling up at Nick.  "Hi," he said.

        Nick tried to memorize the moment: Drew warm and familiar and comfortable, the soft light in Drew's eyes, the sleep-tinged depth of Drew's voice, the way Drew was easy and relaxed and glad to see him.  He wanted, with a fierce desperation, to run after Brian and drag Brian back from what could only end in disaster.  With equal fierceness, he wanted to see Drew happy and fulfilled, and he knew that he'd do anything for Drew, and he prayed that this venture would be successful.

        For Drew's sake.  Really.  For Drew.  Not for Nick's perverted little mind.  For Drew.  Really!

        "Hi," he said, smiling down at Drew.

        "Where's Brian?"  Drew's hand caressed up and down Nick's arm as Nick leaned over him.

        "He left for his secret affair with Liam Neeson.  So I get you all to myself."

        "I'll miss him."  Nick dropped lower over Drew.  "Are you going to kiss me?"

        "Yeah."

        "I thought you weren't allowed.  What about your tingle?"

        "You make me tingle," Nick said.  "You make me vibrate.  You make me spark."  Drew's lips were soft, and sweet, and they parted to grant entrance to Drew's mouth.  Nick wasn't allowed into Drew's body, but he could take up residence in Drew's mouth, in Drew's heart, and he wouldn't give up this habitation for anything.  Drew's hand slid back through his hair while Drew's tongue slid into his mouth.  Drew was in his mouth, his heart, his...  He shuddered, feeling something deep inside of himself moan.

        "What?" Drew asked against his lips.  When he kept kissing without an answer, Drew disengaged their mouths, looking up at him.  "What is it?"

        "Make love to me," he whispered, voice catching.

        "Here, come here," Drew said, pushing at the sheets between them.  He came under the covers quickly, against Drew, on top of Drew, who wore only boxers.  "Are you sure?" Drew asked.

        "Yes."

        "Not now," Drew said.  "Not without Brian.  When he gets back."

        Brian nodded.

        AJ slid down on the sofa, steepling his fingers.  "Why do you bring this to me, Young Jedi?"

        "I know you.  I trust you.  This is...important.  And delicate."

        "Diplomacy is required.  A certain deftness, a skill."

        "And you got skills."

        "I got skills," AJ agreed, allowing Brian a moment of levity.  "You want me to talk to Jeff, be a go-between.  Then when a certain understanding has been reached, the two of you will commence relations...so to speak...and the middle man, also known as myself, will be dispensed with, yes?"

        "Yes."

        "In other words, I'm just the lucky guy who gets all of the humiliation and embarrassment and none of the perks."

        "Right."

        "And what do I get in return?"

        "Anything you want for the rest of your life."

        "How about a song?"

        "A song?"

        AJ smiled.  "A song indeed."

        They rolled over again and he was on his back; Jeff gave him that wicked-charming smile that had come to mean everything to him and said, "Happy honeymoon," before sliding down and licking his cock.  Jeff's tongue on his cock.  His last semi-rational thought was that he understood now what it could be to die a happy man.

        There was laughter and movement and then Nick's head appeared from the mess, blonde hair disarrayed.  "Welcome home.  What'd you bring me?"

        "Good news."

        "Hey, me too."

        "You first."

        "Drew's gonna fuck me.  Wanna help?  Hey!"  Nick ducked beneath the covers and there was some more laughter and movement.  Nick's head popped out again, face flushed.  "He's being bad.  So you wanna help?"

        "I don't know," Brian said.  "Not if he's being bad."

        Nick grinned.  "You're right.  If he's being bad, we should," low wicked chuckle, "punish him.  Hey!  Stop that!  Bad Drew!" Nick mock-snapped.  Then Nick's head fell back and Nick's eyes glazed over and Nick said, in an entirely different kind of voice, "Oh, god, ooohhh...oo..."  Nick melted and spread.  "Good Drew," Nick breathed, and blue eyes closed.

        "Believe me," Nick said.  "I'll let you know.  Can I come now?"

        "No," Brian said.

        "But it feels good."

        "No.  Go a little deeper," to Drew.  Nick gasped and crushed Brian's fingers.  "Found it," Brian said.  "You feel it?"

        "Fuck yeah."

        "I was asking Drew."

        "More," Nick said.  "More fingers more god more."

        Drew was too busy watching Nick to reply.  Nick's back arched; thighs spread; hips lifted in invitation.  Nick's pink lips were parted, and swollen from earlier use.  Nick's chest heaved for breath suddenly and Drew realized that he was triggering Nick's prostate again and again.  He pulled his finger free and Nick sighed in temporary relief; he returned with two and Nick moaned in pleasure.

        "Just keep stretching," Brian said.

        "Like I need it," Nick managed to say.

        "You do," Brian said.

        "The only ass that sees more action than mine is-"

        "Don't say it," Brian said.

        "Mr. Timberlake Chasez," Nick said.

        "Don't be mean," Brian said.

        "You thought I was gonna say you."

        "Yeah."

        "Which Timberlake Chasez?" Drew couldn't help but ask.

        "Justin," Nick said.  "He begs for it twenty times a day.  So do I.  God that feels so fucking good..."  He groaned.

        "Stop talking," Brian said.

        "Keep-keep-keep-" gasp "doing" groan "that."

        "Try three," Brian advised.

        "You fuck me so often you could shove it in dry and it wouldn't matter," Nick said.  "I bet JC does."

        "I bet he doesn't," Brian said.  "You're cutting off my circulation," he said, switching hands.  "Besides, I don't think that JC's hung like Drew."

        Nick moaned and laughed at once.  "Good point.  More, more, god, Drew..."  He tried to swallow.  "Oh, Brian, you have to...have to...get him to...do this to you oh!  God."

        "Ready?" Brian asked.

        "So ready," Nick said.  "So beyond ready.  So fucking ready there's cum leaking out my ears."

        "This is why we don't let you write lyrics," Brian said.  "Let me make sure."  He eased Nick's grip and moved around beside Drew.  Drew's fingers came free, and Brian carefully replaced them with his own to judge Nick's response.

        "God," Nick said.  "Brian."  His pelvis lifted.  "Don't do that.  Please...please..."  He closed his eyes in desperation.

        "Do you think I'll learn to do that?" Drew asked Brian.

        "In time," Brian said.  "It just takes practice."

        "Practice makes perfect," Nick said, panting.  "Brian plays me like - - god!"  He arched and twisted.

        "Sorry," Brian said, and pulled his fingers out of Nick.  "Didn't mean to do that."

        "The fuck you didn't," Nick said, panting.  "God.  I hate you.  Wow."

        Brian came behind Drew, urging Drew closer to Nick.  "Up," he said, and Nick's feet came off of the bed to balance on Drew's hips.  Brian urged Drew even closer and Nick's knees came over Drew's shoulders.  Brian's hand closed over Drew's cock and Drew's eyes closed briefly for self-control.  "Slow," Brian whispered with an encouraging hand on Drew's ass.  Drew looked into Nick's eyes and Drew's hips came forward, forward, and tight heat closed around Drew's cock inch by inch to the hilt.

        Nick's eyes rolled back in his head.

        Brian stroked Drew's abdomen comfortingly, then resumed his place by Nick's side.  Nick clutched at his hand desperately, staring up at Drew.  Drew swallowed, hips shifting for a better angle.  Nick gasped and almost came.

        Brian wasn't sure what his favorite part was.  The noises that Nick made or the noises that Drew made?  One offered a constant stream of self-interrupted pleas and curses, the other a series of shocked, pleasured, awed sounds.  Or was it the looks on their faces - - Nick's damp with sweat and by turns twisted and open with ecstasy, Drew's shining with stunned reverence.  Or was it simply the way that their bodies fit, Drew's easing into Nick's, Nick's opening for the violation.  He was witnessing two very different experiences become one: a sexually aware young man enjoying the sensual erotic bliss of bodies in love; the other coming into sexual awareness, learning and living with an innocence.

        And then there was the fact that Nick was experienced and had a sturdy frame, and that Drew had a strong physique, and that Nick enjoyed being fucked hard, and that Drew's cock was built for a hard fucking.  So when the tempo built and rose, even Nick was overwhelmed, and came before the scream left his throat.

        "Keep going," Brian said to Drew.  So Drew kept going.

        Nick couldn't stop shaking.  Then, "Oh god, oh god, oh god, oh god, oh god," Nick whispered, half-chanted, eyes opening and closing as though he'd lost all motor control.  "Make it stop," he begged, then more audibly, "make it stop."  Drew backed up fast.  "Oh god," Nick said, and tears leaked from behind his eyelids.

        Brian reached for Drew with one hand, pulling Drew close again.  "Nick?"  Nick shuddered and panted.  Brian tugged Drew closer and crawled over Nick himself, on hands and knees, leaning close.  "Nick."

        "Too much.  Too much."

        "It's okay," Brian said softly to Drew, who looked ready to panic.  "Nick's just not as jaded as he pretends to be."

        "I heard that."

        "You okay?" Brian asked, smoothing Nick's hair.

        Blue eyes opened; Nick reached for Drew, and Brian pulled Drew closer, until they were in a three-way embrace.  "God, it was so...so..."

        "Did I hurt you?" Drew asked.  "Are you all right?"

        "No, you didn't hurt me," Nick said, holding onto Drew.  He wrapped both arms around Drew and closed his eyes, face pressed in Drew's neck.  "You opened me, you were, I looked into your eyes, you were right there, all of you, all of me, it was like for one second we were one person, one body, one spirit, you opened me, my entire absolute being went into sensory overload, overstimulation."

        "It's okay," Brian assured Drew, who still looked anxious.  "Sometimes it's too much.  The first time I made love to Nick he started crying, I thought I broke something, then he started hyperventilating and I didn't know how I was going to tell Kevin that we had to cancel the tour because I gave Nick a heart attack.  Scared me to death.  Then he opened his eyes and started talking about how he'd never felt closer to me.  I thought I'd killed him and he's talking about our souls uniting."

        Nick pushed Brian.  "Jerk."

        Brian captured Nick's hand.  "It's very intimate," he told Drew.  "Being made love to can make you extremely vulnerable.  Physically and emotionally."

        "That's why you should only have sex when you're in love," Nick said.  "Thank you for this public service announcement."

        "I think he's feeling better," Brian said.  "You okay?" he asked Nick.

        "I'd say 'don't ever do that to me again,' except that it was fantastic awesome and incredible.  So do that to me every hour on the hour," Nick told Drew.  "Now would be good."

        "Are you all right?" Drew asked Nick.

        "I'm fine.  It was incredible.  I'm sorry that I flipped out and went psycho and scared you.  It was just a lot all at once.  It hit me.  What we were doing and why.  What it meant."

        "Nick's very romantic," Brian said.

        "When he feels like it," Nick conceded.  "Don't tell anyone.  Hey."  He sat up; they sat up with him.  "You didn't come."

        "You killed the mood," Brian said.

        "I didn't kill everything," Nick said.  "Wanna stick it back in?"

        "No," Drew said.

        "Oh, come on, don't get scared," Nick said.

        "Nick, you started crying and begged him to stop," Brian said.  "That's not going to shore up the confidence of anyone."

        "I didn't mean it like that," Nick said.  "It was a good thing.  Oh, come on, let's do it again."

        "I think that you need to take a break," Brian told Nick.  "I'll play nice with Drew."

        "You don't have to," Drew said.

        "Come here."  Brian gathered Drew close and kissed him.  "Nick loves you and wants you.  You just overwhelmed him.  He overwhelmed himself.  It's a lot, knowing you, loving you, being loved by you, making love with you, being made love to by you.  The first time you touched me, I felt like a virgin, five years, ten years younger, my heart pounding, my body shivering, my skin burning.  My body ached waiting for your skin to brush against mine."  Brian's fingers curled around Drew's erection, they were on their knees, close, bodies moving against each other, gazes locked, Drew's lips parted.  "When you rose over me and looked into my eyes, I felt like you could see into my soul.  I wanted you to see into my soul.  I wanted you to see me, everything that I was, laid out for you, all of my secrets yours, all of my dreams come true.  I loved you then, as I love you now, and I knew that I'd love you forever."  His hand was stroking Drew's erection slowly, fingers passing over the head in a changing rhythm to keep Drew aching and guessing.  "Do you remember what it was like then?  When everything was in slow motion, and you saw everything with the clarity of a crystal, individual beads of sweat on my skin, semen scattershot like pearls, every breath a fantasy.  And now you remember it through a film, impressions, quick clear images but no entire picture."

        Drew came and sounded shocked about it.

        "Don't stop!" Nick exclaimed.

        Brian smiled and kissed Drew deeply.

        "Keep going!" Nick insisted.

        "Touch me," Brian requested softly of Drew, his hand gently lowering Drew's to his erection.  He inhaled and looked deep into Drew's eyes.  "Please."

        [Which of his fellow vacationers does Jeff find irritating?  Will Goth Justin and the Pod Person ever learn to get along together?  Will Drew touch Brian?  Tune in to "No One" Part Four.]