Copyright September 14-October 1, 2000 by Matthew Haldeman-Time (actually, 3:30 a.m. October 2)

Rating: NC-17 for graphic male-male sex

Disclaimer: The young men who comprise 98 Degrees, the Backstreet Boys, and *NSYNC are their own people.  The author has not met anyone here described, nor does the author mean to suggest that these people act this way in real life.  This writing is a work of fiction.  I make no money from this venture.

Dedication: This slashfic is for Ewan McGregor and the Savage Garden slashers.

Notice: This piece follows "I Need You Tonight," its sister fic "Boy Lead the Way to Ecstasy," and the sequel to both, "Not Easy."

        "What are you all doing over here?" Nick asked.  "You causing trouble?" he asked Drew.

        "Drew wanted us to meet his friends," Justin said.  "Hi, I'm Justin, this is JC, we're from *NSYNC, but it looks like you all already know that," he said, looking over their paraphernalia.  "You wanted to know something?"

        "Go ahead," Drew encouraged.

        "You guys are like married and stuff, right?"  "So you're like a couple."  "So...you...like..."  "Kiss?"  "And stuff?"  "Could you do that?"  "Now?"  "Oh my god."  "You can't ask him that!"  "They're going to have you arrested or something!"  "That's private!"  "They're married, what do you think married people do!"  "For real?"

        "Yes, we're married," JC said.  "And yes, we do whatever regular couples do, whatever married people do.  Except we're young and we're famous and we work together and we're both guys and we don't have any kids and we're on the road a lot."

        "Except for that," Justin said, "we're just like regular married people."

        "Drew said he never saw you kiss."  "That's private."  "Yeah, but they're friends."  "They're friends?"  "Are you guys friends?"  "I've seen my friends kiss."

        "We're friends," Justin said.  "The fourteen of us, we're all sort of bonding these days.  It's sort of sick, *NSYNC and the Backstreet Boys being friends, but they're actually not that bad once you get to know them.  And Drew's a great guy."

        "I think they want to see you kiss," Nick said.

        "Not in public," JC said.

        "What happened to doing anything for your fans?" Nick asked.

        "We would do anything for our fans," Justin said.  "Our fans made us who we are.  Our fans are the best fans in the world."  The fans screamed.

        "98 Degrees fans are the best fans," Drew corrected.  His announcement was met with more cheers.

        "I don't see you kissing in front of them," Justin said.

        "They didn't ask me," Drew said.  "They asked you."

        "You guys want to see Drew kiss somebody?" Justin asked.

        "Yes!"  "Nick!"  "Yes!"  "Brian!"  "Yes!"  Kiss Brian!"  "Yes!"  "Kiss Nick!"  "Kiss me!"  "Yes!"  "Yes!"

        "Come on," Drew protested, "you're supposed to ask Justin and JC to kiss."  More screaming.  "See?" he asked Justin.

        "You guys don't really want to see that, do you?" Justin asked.  They cheered him.  "Come on.  Not really."  Louder cheers.  "Right here?" he asked.  "Right now?"

        "Stop taunting them," Drew chided.

        "You never kissed Britney in public," JC reminded Justin.

        "I wasn't married to Britney," Justin said.  "That's different.  This is just for Drew's nice new friends.  I'll do it if Drew does it."

        "I get to kiss JC?" Drew asked.

        "No," Justin said.

        "Sure," JC said.

        Justin pushed JC's shoulder gently.  "No.  I'll kiss you and Drew can kiss one of his many lovers.  Just for these nice fans.  We won't let the photographers look."

        "You're serious?" JC asked.  "You'd really do that?  In public?"

        "JC, our lives are public."

        "You don't need one of those long slow movie kisses, do you?" Drew asked the fans.  They seemed to think that they did.

        "You're doing it, too," Justin told Drew.  "This is your fault."

        "I'm not married," Drew said.

        "Does Drew have to kiss somebody, too?" Justin asked the fans.  They thought that he did.  "Audience poll!  Nick or Brian?"

        "Nick!"  "Brian!"  "Nick!"  "Brian!"  There was a lot of arguing and disagreeing until someone shouted, "Both!"  That idea seemed to hold overwhelming appeal.

        "Is that your final answer?" Justin asked.  "Is that your final answer?"  It was.  "You heard the ladies," he told Drew.  "You've gotta kiss both of them."

        "What if they kiss each other?" Drew suggested.

        "You can't get out of it," JC said.  "If I have to, you have to."

        "JC," Justin said, looking into JC's eyes, "since when do you not want to kiss me?  Since when are you reluctant to kiss me?  We were just upstairs in our room and you really didn't seem to mind it then."

        "Tell us more," Nick suggested.  "Keep talking.  Brian, go get me some popcorn."

        Drew sighed and scratched the back of his neck.  "Nick, could you give me a quick little kiss?"

        "You're an exhibitionist, aren't you?" Nick asked.  "Fans, cameras..."

        "I'm not.  Make it quick."

        "Quick?  I don't want these girls thinking that I'm no good.  They want a good, long kiss."  They did.  "I live for my fans."  Nick's fingers tipped up Drew's chin; his tongue parted Drew's lips.  Justin covered JC's eyes with one hand.  Drew's arm draped over Nick's shoulders.  Brian checked his watch.

        Drew's hand rose from Nick's hip to push at Nick's chest.  "Thank you.  That was plenty."  Justin uncovered JC's eyes.

        "More later?" Nick asked.

        "If you're lucky."  He licked his lips and asked the fans, "Justin and JC's turn?"

        "Come on, JC, give me some loving," Justin encouraged.

        "This is so tacky," JC said.

        "If you won't kiss me, I'll just ask Brian to do it," Justin said.

        "Brian's taken," Nick said.

        "He'll never notice the difference.  You're just tall young blonds," Drew said.  "One's as good as another."

        "Pretty interchangeable," JC agreed.

        "So the brown-haired blue-eyed songwriters with good cheekbones are interchangeable, too?" Justin asked.

        "I think so," Drew said.

        "Good.  I'm taking Brian," Justin said.

        "I'm taking Nick," JC said.

        "Wait," Drew said.  "What about me?"

        "You can come with me," Justin said.  "I like you."

        "I like Drew," JC said.

        "Me too," Nick said.

        "We could time-share," Justin suggested.

        "Every other week?" JC asked.

        "Can I have him first?" Justin asked.

        JC considered.  "Okay."

        "Good.  I guess it's settled."

        "Guess so."

        "Shake on it?"

        "A kiss good-bye would be nice."

        "Okay."

        JC slid his fingers through the curls at the back of Justin's head.  Justin accepted his gentle kiss, lips parting.  They breathed as one, taking their time with their kiss but keeping it, for all of that, light, not wanting to engage in a tongue duel before their audience and cameras.  JC broke the kiss and turned to the crowd.  "Okay?"  Everyone screamed.  "Good."

        "Your turn," Justin told Drew.

        "I already went," Drew said.

        "You've got one left," Justin said.  "We won't make Nick and Brian do it, but you still have to go.  You made me."

        "But there are photographers.  Reporters.  Management would kill me."

        Brian's lips brushed over his, soft as a petal, loving as an angel.

        Drew blinked.

        "I love him," Nick said.  "I absolutely love him."

        "Show's over, everybody go home," JC said.

        Nick kissed Brian's cheek.  "Such a sweetie."  He turned to the fans.  "I love you guys!"

        "Thank you," Drew said, to no one in particular.  "Wow.  Going inside now."

        The sun set.

        AJ pressed his nose into the back of his lover's neck.  "I can't believe you put out.  You put out.  I can't believe you put out."

        "I can't believe you took advantage of it."

        "You thought I was going to say no?"

        "I knew you'd say yes."

        "You did?"

        "AJ.  Excuse the stereotype, but how many twenty-three-year-old guys do you know who refuse sex?  From someone they want?"

        "I want you?"

        "If you don't, you just faked it really well."

        "For, what, twelve hours?"

        Laugh.  "Something like that."

        "Leaving tomorrow."

        "Yeah."

        AJ tightened his hold.  "Don't go."

        "I have to go."  He rolled over and looked into AJ's eyes, sharing the pillow, one hand caressing AJ's upper arm.  "I wish that we had longer.  A lot longer.  We've barely...talked.  Gotten to know each other."

        "We know each other pretty well now."

        "We know that you have emotional issues and I'm easy."

        "I didn't expect you to make love with me.  I didn't expect you to take off your shoes, much less the rest of your clothes.  I didn't think you...would ever...let me..."

        "It felt safe."

        "Now that I've stopped acting like a psycho, insulting your friends?  Now that I'm not hitting anybody?"

        "You were honest.  You let me know that you cared."

        "I'd better not hear about you and any groupies.  Or girlfriends.  Or boyfriends.  Or anybody.  I have my sources."

        "I'll be faithful.  We're too busy for any of that, anyway."

        "I think I'm going to have to tell the guys.  They'll wonder why I'm paying more attention to your tour than ours.  Howie knows."

        "I think that Justin and JC know, too.  They were giving me the weirdest looks."

        "Are we that obvious?"

        "When you know somebody, you know somebody."

        "I can't believe you put out."

        "Stop it.  You did, too."

        "Yeah, but...  I've got this rep to protect.  This image.  You have one, too, you know.  And it does not say sex.  It definitely doesn't say sex before the first date."

        "When do we have time to date?"

        "When this tour's over, I'll take you out."  AJ smiled.  "Or we could stay in.  Get reacquainted."

        "Where are your hands going?"

        "Wait and see."  AJ kissed him, swinging a leg over to get on top of him.  "Or did you want to ride?  Being the space cowboy and all."

        "I'll take the next one."

        "Such a gentleman.  My mother will love you."

        "You're taking me home to meet your mother?"

        "It might be a good idea to tell her that I'm bi first."

        "It might clear up a few things, yeah."

        "Hi, Drew," Brian said, tugging at the hands.

        "How did you know?" Drew asked.

        "I'm psychic," Brian said as they came around to stand before him.

        "We're going upstairs for sex," Nick said.  "Come with us.  Literally."

        "How could I go with you figuratively?" Brian asked.

        "You know what I mean," Nick said.  "Come on.  We'll make it worth your while."

        "Literally," Drew said with a smile, taking Brian's hand and pulling Brian from the sofa.

        "I don't know if all of this sex is good for my health," Brian said.

        "That is so really not at all funny," Nick said, pushing the button for the elevator.

        "Sorry," Brian said.

        "Rule number one," Nick said.

        "I know.  I'm sorry," Brian said sincerely, sounding utterly chastised.

        "What's rule number one?" Drew asked.

        "We made rules," Brian said.  "When we first started...this.  Before you.  Rule number one is, no joking about Brian's health because it makes Nick..."

        "Upset," Nick said.

        "Upset," Brian said.  "To," he glanced at Nick, who was looking fixedly at the elevator doors, "put it lightly."  He chewed on his lower lip.

        "What's rule number two?" Drew asked, hoping to ease the tension.

        Brian looked at him and smiled a little.  "Rule number two: lots of sex."

        "I'm not surprised.  What's rule number three?"

        "There is no rule number three.  One and two seemed to cover everything."

        By the time they reached 309, Nick's shadow had cleared.  He locked the door and started to undress Brian.  Brian decided to let him.  Once Brian was naked, Nick sent Brian to the bed and started on Drew.

        "I can take off my own clothes," Drew said.

        "Too bad," Nick said.

        "Just thought I'd mention it."

        Brian slid under the covers.  "Nick, what are you doing?"

        "Getting Drew naked.  He looks good naked.  I can never draw it just right."

        "You draw me naked?" Drew asked, faintly scandalized.

        "How can I not?  You've given me such a perfect subject," Nick said, kissing him.  "Go ahead, in you go," he said, urging Drew towards the bed.

        "Are you planning something sinister?" Brian asked Nick.

        "It was Drew's idea," Nick said.  "I'm just helping."

        "Your idea?" Brian asked Drew.

        Drew got under the covers, too, and settled on top of Brian.  "Yeah.  I hope you don't mind."  He kissed Brian, who caressed his back and shoulders.

        "What are you planning?" Brian asked.

        "Guess," Drew said, and his eyes were dark, full of happiness and secrets.

        "You're going to make love to me?"

        "Mmm...close.  Sounds nice.  I could, if you want."  He kissed Brian again, longer, dipping his tongue in to taste Brian's mouth.

        "You're going to make love to Nick?" Brian guessed, stroking Drew's biceps.

        "You're getting off of the track now."

        "You're going to make love to JC?"

        "No, no."

        "You're going to make love to Kevin?"

        "Now you're just being ridiculous."

        "And scary," Nick added.

        "Are you coming?" Drew asked.

        "I do not have premature ejaculation problems," Nick said.

        Drew rested his forehead on Brian's and sighed.  "I meant to bed."

        "Gimme a minute."

        "What's he doing?" Drew asked Brian.

        Brian looked over Drew's shoulder.  "Going through my suitcase.  Nick?  Why are you going through my suitcase?"

        "Gotta find something."

        "I could get it myself."

        "Don't you trust me?"

        "You might find the love letters from my secret affair with..."  He looked to Drew.  Drew mouthed a name.  "...Abs Breen."

        "Abs?" Nick repeated from the suitcase.  "Abs?  Short Irish kid?"

        "He's half-Irish and half-Turkish," Drew said.

        "And he's older than you are," Brian said to Nick.

        "And he's taller than Brian and I are anyway," Drew added.

        "Everybody's taller than you," Brian teased Drew.

        "At least my jaw doesn't defy the laws of physics."

        "At least I'm too polite to say anything about your nose."

        "His jaw's fine.  It's just the jaw plus the cheekbones," Nick said.

        "I notice you're not mentioning my nose, either," Drew murmured.

        "Yeah, well, I'm still hoping to get laid tonight," Nick said.  "Got it!"

        "Got what?" Drew asked, twisting to look over his shoulder.  Nick, naked, sat on the side of the bed and held forth a tube of lubricant.  Drew felt Brian's cock twitch as Brian's body tensed under him.  "Nick?  It's lube.  We already have some," Drew said.

        "This is a special tube," Nick said.  "Tell him."

        Drew looked down to Brian.  Brian avoided his eyes but stroked his hair, and said, "We bought it together.  In Paris.  It's the sacred lube.  We were saving it to use with you.  On you."

        Drew kissed Brian.  Brian looked into Drew's eyes.  Just gazed.  Then he looked to Nick.  "You're using it?  Tonight?" Brian asked.

        "No."  Nick pressed it into Brian's hand.  "You are."

        Brian held very still.  "Nick?"

        "Drew wants you to and so do I.  I'll get to someday, too.  It doesn't matter who's first.  I know Drew loves me."

        Brian's eyes went to Drew, who remained resting on top of him.  "Are you sure?"

        "Yes."

        "What do you want me to do?"

        "Brian.  Make love to me.  Please."  He could feel Brian's heartbeat, and it pounded at his words.

        "I can't," Brian said.  "I can't."

        "Why not?" Drew asked, surprised and concerned.  Nick shifted closer to them on the bed.

        "You're not ready.  I know you're not ready."

        "I am ready."

        "I want you, I want to, I can't tell you how badly I want to do this.  And that you're asking me, that you're asking, it means everything to me.  Please, I want to be strong and tell you no."

        "I want you to tell me yes," Drew argued softly with a smile.

        "Will you touch him?" Nick asked.

        "Please," Drew said.

        Brian's eyes closed briefly.  "All right."  He stroked Drew's hair.  "You need to trust me."

        "I do," Drew said.  He kissed Brian.  "I do."

        Brian held him close.  "I love you," Brian said into his shoulder.  "I'll make it good for you."

        "I think you're more afraid of this than he is," Nick said.

        "That's because I've been through it and I know what's coming," Brian said.  "He doesn't."

        "I've touched him there before," Nick said.

        "The first time's different," Brian said.  "Don't you remember?  The first time it's all sensation, and it's new.  The second time it lays you open and it violates you and you're overwhelmed with the feelings.  Come here and hold Drew," Brian said, moving out from under him.

        "You want him on his back?" Nick asked, laying down, tossing his hair.

        "Yes," Drew said for Brian.  He wondered sometimes why it didn't bother him that they talked around him.  Maybe it was because somehow it wasn't an exclusion.  Maybe to outsiders it looked as though the two of them were the core and he was an extension of their relationship, but he knew better.  And when they talked about him as though he weren't in their conversation, he (rather perversely) felt included nonetheless.  He was used to it now, and fond of the frustrations it brought.

        "All right," Brian said.  "If you want."

        "C'mere," Nick said, and hauled Drew close, Drew lying on top of Nick, his back on Nick's chest, Nick's arms around him.  "Just relax.  Brian has the best hands in the world."

        "Your fingers are longer," Brian said.

        "By a millimeter.  Makes no difference.  Size doesn't matter."

        "I guess not, since we're not all in bed with Jeff," Brian said.

        "I'm a terrible influence on you," Nick said.

        Brian kissed Drew, then Nick.  "Tell me if you want me to stop."

        "You won't want him to stop," Nick assured Drew.

        "Stop pressuring him," Brian said to Nick.

        "Stop scaring him," Nick said back to Brian.

        Brian found a pillow.  "Lift."

        "Then I can't rub against him to get off," Nick said.

        Drew's hips lifted and Brian placed the pillow under them.  "And don't come on the pillow, either," Brian told Nick.  "The housekeepers will hate us enough as it is."

        Nick's fingers traced the muscles of Drew's torso.  He stroked down over Drew's pelvic bone and back up to Drew's nipples.  "I wish I were a virgin again."

        "If you were, you wouldn't be as good with Drew," Brian said.  "You know how to treat him, how to make him feel good, how to relax him, how to give him confidence.  How to make him feel really good.  How to make him feel-"

        "Yeah, yeah, yeah, I get the picture."  Nick smiled into Drew's hair.  "I don't think I'll ever let you go."

        Brian opened the sacred tube of lubricant and spilled a bit onto his fingers.  He tried to warm it, eyeing his goal.  Nick's legs were inside Drew's, holding them spread them for him.  Brian said, "Just one finger.  Have you touched yourself?"

        "No," Drew said, looking up at him.

        "No one, nothing, but Nick that once?"

        "Only Nick."

        "Okay.  You remember what it was like?"

        "Wet."

        "Please tell me it made more of an impact on you than that," Nick said.  "You're ruining my reputation."

        "I was a little overwhelmed," Drew said.  "There was you, behind me, and Brian in front of me, and I'd just seen the most incredible sight of my life, and I was scared, and I was so hard, and I was in bed with both of you, naked, and there was this deep terrifying pleasure so real it was going to kill me, and I don't even remember coming."

        "I'm sorry," Nick said.  "I'm sorry, I'm sorry."

        "No, I don't want you to be sorry, don't...  I'm not explaining it right."

        "You were confused," Brian said to Drew.  "I was scared, too."

        "If your first time was so bad, no wonder you don't want any more," Nick said.

        "It wasn't bad," Drew said, "it was wonderful."

        "You had a good time?" Brian asked.

        Drew smiled.  "I had a good time."

        Brian's slick finger, warm and careful, traced Drew's puckered muscle.  "This shouldn't hurt.  I can stop any time.  Does it help to look at me?"  Drew nodded.  "Okay."  Brian moved up a little, over Drew, resting his weight on his knees and left arm, going by feel now.  He looked down into Drew's wide dark eyes.  "Just one finger.  For fun, not intent."  Brian pushed one finger slowly in through the tight ring, easing in just a bit.  He went farther, up past the second knuckle, and rotated.  "How does that feel?"

        "Good," Drew said.  "Oh, that feels good."  Brian smiled and pulled his finger out, pushed it in again, kept going, back and forth, slower then faster then slower again, twisting every few strokes.  Drew moaned softly, eyes glazing.  "Mmm...I like this."  He tried to move down onto Brian's finger, to get closer, but Nick pulled him back again.  He dropped his head back, neck on Nick's shoulder, cheek against Nick's, and moaned.  "I think I'm going to come."

        "That's the idea," Nick said.  "You want two fingers?"

        "Yes, more, I want more, more's good," Drew said.  He turned his head to the side and Nick tilted and their lips met.  "Tell Brian to give me more."

        "More," Nick told Brian.  "Drew wants more.  And Drew's been so good to us I think he deserves it."

        "Don't you like what I'm doing?" Brian asked, slowing the pace, rubbing the pucker.

        "Feels good," Drew sighed.  "Feels good.  You should make love to me like this."

        "Yes, he should," Nick agreed, fingers sliding up Drew's torso to a nipple.  Drew gasped and shivered, twisted momentarily.  There was sweet stimulation in two places now, very different, and not satisfying.  He wanted more, needed more.  He could feel, under the eroticism, behind the pleasure, the potential for intensity.  This feeling, this pleasure, it could build, it could explode, he could feel what Brian felt, what Nick felt, when they made love.  He could surrender.

        Two fingers slipped into his body.

        He didn't want to come anymore.  Not now.  An orgasm would mean an end to this pleasure.  This exquisite violation.  This erotic penetration.  This, god, Nick's fingers on his nipples were distracting and maddening and heightened the pleasure, made it just a bit clearer, sharper.  More, he needed more.  He wanted Brian to rub harder, thrust deeper, give him more.  Something bigger.  He wanted to be full.  He wanted to be fucked.

        Then Brian's fingers met Drew's prostate.

        Seconds later, Drew's semen met Brian's chest.

        Brian's fingers left Drew carefully.  Nick was busy licking semen from his own hand.  "No, no," Drew said.  "Don't stop.  Please, Brian."

        "You've had enough," Brian said.  His tone and smile were not condescending, but gentle.

        "Just because I came?"

        "Because you've had enough," Brian said.  "I won't give you more."

        "I can take more.  I want more.  There's so much more out there, I could feel it, I was close."  He slid down Nick, sat up, as Brian settled before him.  "Please."  His fingers roamed Brian's arms and he looked at Brian with pleading eyes.  "Please, touch me again."

        Brian looked right at Drew, directly.  "No."

        Drew knew a real no when he heard a real no.  That was a real no.  He sighed, and as Nick sat up behind him he pulled the pillow from between their bodies.  And then Nick's cock was right against Drew's ass.  Very hard and very ready.  Drew, for one moment, a long heartbeat, wanted to feel that hardness throbbing inside of him.  But with the next beat, he dismissed the idea.  He'd asked Brian.  He wouldn't turn to Nick because Brian had turned him down, he wouldn't.  This relationship would never work if they played each other against each other.

        And he saw Brian reading his mind.  Brian kissed his mouth, a soft loving kiss, and left the bed for a washcloth.

        "Brian won't fuck you, but you'll fuck me, right?" Nick asked.

        "I could," Drew said, looking at Nick over his shoulder.  "Or Brian could."

        "He's being mean," Nick said.  "I don't want him."

        "Brian's not mean," Drew said.  "He's just exercising more self-control than we are."

        "I would've totally fucked you," Nick said.  "I don't know why he won't."

        "But now there's so much to look forward to for next time," Drew said as Brian rejoined them.

        Brian wiped the soft, warm, damp cloth over Drew's chest and in between Drew's thighs.  "How far away is next time?" he asked.

        "Not soon enough," Drew said, tipping Brian's face to his for a sweet kiss.  He moaned softly as Brian stroked his perineum.  Brian sucked on his tongue, one thigh pressing in between his thighs, cock pressing up against him.  He rubbed against Brian's cock as Brian pressed him backward; when he leaned back he found Nick's cock fitting neatly against his ass.  He moaned, trying to rub against both at once.  He draped himself backward over Nick, who wrapped an arm around his waist to hold him in place while Brian sucked harder on his tongue.  He was trapped between them, between their bodies, and as he held on to Brian with his right hand, his left hand reached behind himself to the back of Nick's neck for support.  Nick was kneeling now, thrusting and flexing against his ass, while Brian gave him the same assault from the front.  It was fucking without penetration, from both directions, and all he could hear was Nick's grunting at his right ear and Brian moaning into his mouth.

        He felt, heard, Nick come at his back before Brian came.  There was a moment when they simply rested, and he wasn't sure who was supporting whom.  He was hard again, of course, from the excitement and the thrusting and the newness and his partners.  Hands turned him, so that he was resting with his back against Brian's chest now, and then Nick's mouth was on his cock.  He came before he was ready, then closed his eyes and pet Nick's hair and wondered where his brain had gone.

        When he opened his eyes, he was snug and warm under the covers, wrapped up in an embrace with Nick.  Nick made a tiny "sshhh" sound and made him close his eyes.  So he did, and Nick cuddled even closer, Nick's head tucked against his shoulder.  He waited, wondering where Brian was.  He heard the bathroom door; Nick made a "sshhh" sound and pinched him.  He wondered what in the world Nick was doing, but he feigned sleep.  He almost drifted off to sleep again for real, until he felt a weight dipping the mattress.  Brian was behind him; sitting, it seemed.  All was silence and stillness, then.

        A hand was in Drew's hair; a thumb passed over his cheekbone.  Brian's hand.  He could tell because it was a right hand with calluses instead of a ring, and because Nick's hands were on him in other places.

        "I love you," Brian said very softly.

        Brian's hand left Drew and Drew almost could feel Brian reaching across him to Nick.

        "I love you."

        Nick shifted minutely in Drew's arms.  Brian's touch withdrew.  Again: stillness, silence.  Drew was on the edge of sleep's abyss once more when he heard, faintly, Brian's voice.

        "I want to thank you.  For everything you've done, for everything you've given me, for everything I thank you for every day.  My family.  My friends.  My health.  The Backstreet Boys - - not just the success but the music, the joy, the experience.  The five of us, our friendship, our brotherhood, our talent and commitment and faith.  You know what they mean to me.  And our fans, the love that they've shown us, their support and energy, their commitment and their faith.  Especially now, these past four months.  We're going out again tomorrow to finish the tour.  Please keep us safe and happy so that we can keep our concerts as exciting and fulfilling and exhausting as they've always been.  I want to thank you again for Nick and Jeff, their love, their trust.  They opened themselves up to Drew, and to Nick and to me, when they easily could have said no.  They were brave enough to say yes, and I thank you for giving them that courage and for letting them share their love for Drew.  And I suppose that I should thank you for making one of Nick's fantasies come true.  One of mine."  Silence.

        "You know Brian talks to God."

        "I want to thank you for Nick and for Drew.  I can't tell you how much they mean to me.  Only you can understand.  I don't always understand it myself.  They're everything to me.  Please keep them safe.  Please watch over them.  Drew's leaving us again, tomorrow, and I don't know when we'll see him again.  When he's away from me I feel...  There's something missing.  Inside of me.  I don't only miss him, I miss the part of me that he has.  I've given myself to him, my heart and my body, and when he's gone I'm incomplete.  There's no better way to say it.  And Nick's beside me every day, I need Nick beside me every day.  He's a part of me, he's my other half.  My other third?  I knew that we would be Nick and Brian forever, the two of us inseparable, and I never expected...  I know that I'm giving Nick all of the love that I have, but I still have so much love for Drew, how is that possible?  Thank you for letting me love them, thank you for letting them love me, thank you for letting us share even this short week together.  Please take care of them.  With the hatred and the threats, and Drew's so far away from us, and I can't protect them myself."

        Half of Drew wanted to rise up and embrace Brian until the pain went away; his other half was wishing that he weren't overhearing something this private.  A small corner of him noted that Brian's usually invisible accent had thickened beautifully.

        "Thank you for Drew.  For his love and his warmth, his smile and his intelligence, his beauty and his ignorance of it, his talent and his voice, his generosity and his very normalcy.  It's a relief, a huge relief, just to be near him, I can be myself, it feels like coming home; but my heart pounds so fast whenever he's near, with excitement and hope.  Every day he loves me is a miracle.  He trusted me enough to let me try to give him what he wanted.  With his brother and Jeff, and with his virginity.  Drew's trust is a gift that I will try to earn.  I want to be worthy of his love for me.  Please help me.  Help me to be strong enough to refuse him when it's right.  Thank you for helping me to say no tonight."

        Drew's arms tightened around Nick incrementally.

        "Thank you for Nick.  My partner in crime.  My beautiful, energetic, innocent, spoiled Nick.  My best friend.  The only one who loves Drew with the same depth, the same passion, the same heartbreak as I do.  The one who was generous enough, or sneaky enough, to bring the three of us together.  He was generous enough to forgive me.  He trusted me enough to come back to me, and to let me near his beloved, when I deserved neither of them.  Please let me try to deserve them.  Please grant me more time with them.  Please watch over them and keep them safe."

        Drew felt fingertips over his forehead.

        "Amen."

        He heard Brian kiss Nick, felt lips brush his own cheek, felt Brian slowly settle behind him.  He relaxed back into Brian's embrace.

        Well, he'd never woken up with a gorgeous male in the past, and he wouldn't for some time in the future, either.  When this tour ended, man, he'd take a plane to wherever *NSYNC's tour was and just drag that boy to bed.

        Basing a relationship on sex was not a good thing.  He hadn't meant to base it on sex.  He hadn't planned on getting any sex!  He'd planned on a lot more getting-to-know-you-type stuff, conversations, spending time together, and he'd wanted that, he'd looked forward to it.  And then they'd started kissing and they hadn't stopped and they'd ventured into whole new territory.  Fast.

        AJ couldn't recall ever having been this excited.  He hadn't even been this excited when he'd lost his virginity.  The first time.  To a girl.

        He knew what guys did together.  He wasn't stupid.  And he'd actually sat down one afternoon and asked Nick about it.  But none of those words could tell how it really felt.

        He'd been inside another human being before.  He'd had sex with women.  But it was different with a man, entirely different.  Harder, stronger.  Hairier.  Everything he did to a man, a man could do right back to him.  In spades.  They were equals.  He could take off the sunglasses and forget the slinky attitude and just be himself.

        Maybe that last part wasn't a guy-on-guy thing.  Maybe that was a being-in-love thing.

        "I'm in love."  He said it out loud.  He hadn't said it before, not in those words.  Not out loud.  Not so anyone could hear, not even himself.  "I'm in love."  Maybe he was.  It was hard to say.  How would he know?  Would it feel like this?  What was he feeling?

        He had to say good-bye today.  He had to get on the bus and leave.  It shouldn't hurt this much to think about it.

        "Let him sleep."

        "Drew."

        "Nick, stop it."

        "Drew - - ah!  Mmmm..."  Nick trailed off into a moan.  Drew heard lots of kissing, felt the bed move.  Then Nick gasped for air and Brian left the bed and Drew opened his eyes.  Nick, lying beside him, looked at him.  "Hi."

        Drew pushed himself from his stomach to his side.  "Do you always listen?"

        "What?  No.  Just once in a while, to check on what he's thinking.  I just did it last night so you could hear."

        "That's private."

        "He called me spoiled.  I'm not spoiled."

        Drew just smiled and pet Nick's neck.

        "He always says a prayer for his mother.  That she'll understand the choices he's made."

        "You mean...about us."

        "He didn't say it last night.  He didn't ask for her love or her understanding."

        Had Brian forgotten?  Given up?  Drew didn't want Brian to have done either of those things.  He couldn't stand for Brian to be hurt, but he couldn't stand for Brian to be jaded, either.

        "Maybe as long as he has us and everything else, he doesn't need her permission to be happy," Nick said.

        Drew liked that idea a whole lot.  He kissed Nick for suggesting it.  Nick, of course, kissed him back, crawling over to rest on top of him, and so he was lying in a blissful kiss-haze when his brain remembered that Today Was Sunday.

        "What?" Nick asked, breaking the kiss.

        "Sunday."

        "Don't remember," Nick said.  "Pretend it's Wednesday."

        "We have to go."

        "No, no.  You were so warm and fuckable, don't start thinking about that."

        "I'm warm and...?"

        "Always."  Nick kissed him.  "Just kiss me and don't think."

        "Is that how you get girls in your bed?"

        "I don't have to try to get girls in my bed," Nick said.  "I just breathe and they come to me.  But who wants girls?  I have Drew Lachey."

        "So warm and fuckable."

        Nick laughed.  "You have no idea."  Nick kissed him.  "Make love to me."

        Brian sat beside them on the bed.  "You woke Drew."

        "I didn't," Nick said.  "He woke up himself.  And now he's going to make love to me.  And then he's going to make love to you.  And then we're going to stuff him in a suitcase and take him with us."

        They made love slowly, lingering over each other.  They shared and memorized each sensation, each response.  They made love again, and again, because they knew that once they stopped, they could never return to this moment.  Once they stopped, the ride would end, the park would close, and they would be left alone, outside, in the darkness, with only their memories.

        Except, of course, that when they finished, Nick convinced them to shower together.  Which really didn't work as planned.  There was room enough for the three of them, but not enough warmth, so that someone always ended up in the back freezing.  There was a lot of jostling, therefore, and then a lot of squirming and pushing, and then Nick took it upon himself to wash them.  They wasted water but ended up thoroughly clean.

        "For what?"

        "Ruining your vacation.  Acting like an insane jerk."

        "I lost my sanity for a while, too."

        "Only because you were scared.  And you were scared because of me."

        "You promised me forever."

        "I said I'd love you forever."

        "Promise me something else, then.  Promise me you'll stay with me forever.  Promise we'll always be together.  I know we said it in our vows, but I want it just between us.  Promise me you won't leave me."

        JC inhaled Justin.  "I promise, Justin.  I'll be with you forever.  I won't leave you.  I promise."

        "I can keep telling you how I feel about you, but if you don't believe me, I don't know what else to do.  I show you every day."

        "You do," JC agreed.

        "Sometimes I wish you'd just love me like a normal person."

        JC closed his eyes and rested his hand over Justin's heartbeat.  "I'm not sorry."

        "Can you love someone too much?"

        "Yes."

        Justin turned and wrapped his arms around JC's shoulders, closing his eyes.  "I love you."

        JC's hand stroked Justin's back.  "I love you, Justin.  I'll never leave you."

        Nick loved Jeff's cock.  Nick would have devoted his life happily to worshipping it.  But there were practical concerns when it came to sucking Jeff's cock.  Those concerns were, a., that Jeff's cock was not small, and, b., that Jeff had great stamina.  And while in theory spending an hour licking Jeff's cock sounded like an absolute heaven, in reality, to name just one problem, Nick's jaw started to ache after a while.

        Now, Nick was willing to let his jaw hurt if it meant that he could suck Jeff a little longer.  But Jeff always felt guilty and tried to speed up the process.  So they'd come to an agreement of sorts: Nick's mouth would make love to Jeff's cock until Jeff asked Nick for an orgasm.  Then it was up to Nick how much longer to continue; and if Nick kept going, Jeff needn't feel guilty.

        And today, Nick wanted to continue.  Because it tasted good, and it wasn't even quite at the pre-cum stage yet, and the throb and pulse of it was hypnotizing, and the shiny smooth knob was delicious, and Jeff's thigh was starting to quiver against his hand, and oh, yes, thank you, that thick pre-ejaculate spilled onto his tongue.  His free hand stroked the shaft while he tried to lap up all of the pre-cum that he could find.  Jeff was into the panting-moaning-"Oh Nick" stage.  He liked this stage.  He didn't get to it often enough.  It was pretty hard to pare Jeff's vocabulary down to one word.

        He wanted to do this all day.  But they were supposed to leave the hotel at some point.  So he made a final detour back to Jeff's balls, kissed the sensitive skin inside Jeff's thighs, and got to work on making Jeff come.  Quick stripping strokes alternating with the pumping rhythm that Jeff had taught him, mouth latched onto the head suckling with greed, and he felt Jeff's hips start to rock in response, heard Jeff's voice rise and fall over gasp "oh god oh Nick" gasp "oh god oh Nick" gasp "oh god oh Nick" gasp until Jeff came, flooding his throat, filling his mouth, pouring into him until it dripped down his chin.  He swallowed and swallowed and licked Jeff clean, finally, and made himself let go.  He wiped off his chin with the back of one hand and sat up a bit shakily.

        Jeff shook himself awake and sat up too, reaching out with a rueful smile to massage the joints of Nick's jaw.  "Thank you."

        "Thank you," Nick said.  He hated that Jeff had body hangups.  He hated that Jeff didn't want him to give blow jobs.  Jeff liked to get sucked off, oh yeah, Jeff just didn't want anyone to have to do it.  Which was wrong; he loved doing it, loved getting to suck on Jeff's cock, loved getting in there and worshipping between Jeff's thighs.  Jeff never asked for it and always tried to turn him down when he offered.  At first, because of that, he'd honestly thought that Jeff didn't like getting blow jobs.  Then he'd figured out the real problem.  And, day by day, he was trying to convince Jeff that there was no problem.

        He pulled Jeff in closer for a long, thorough kiss.  "You taste so good."  He felt Jeff's hand sliding over his naked thigh, aiming for his lap, and he said, "No, come on, the human body can only take so much."

        "You sure?" Jeff asked, stroking his thigh, ready to offer more.

        "I'm sure," he said.  "You go take a shower."

        "You can go first."

        "I want to bask in the afterglow of my religious experience."

        "You're crazy."

        "Be nice or I'll suck you off again."  Jeff gave him a final kiss and started to leave the bed.  He wrapped his hand around Jeff's wrist and pulled Jeff back down again.  Jeff looked at him, puzzled, and he said, "When we're on tour we never get to sleep and we're always busy and we keep bad hours.  But we can't let ourselves grow apart."

        "We won't."

        "And we have to find time for sex."

        Jeff smiled.  "We will."

        "Maybe if we weren't so good at it we could go faster."

        "We're too good at sex?"

        "We like foreplay too much."

        "You can't like foreplay too much."

        "Maybe if we practice more we'll get faster.  Perfect our technique."

        "We could practice now."

        "I thought you were leaving to shower."

        "I was, but I'm getting mixed messages."  Jeff gently but firmly pinned him on his back.

        "We don't have time for this."

        "I'll be quick," Jeff promised, and captured his mouth for a deep kiss.

        Jeff and Brian shook hands.  "Thank you," Jeff said.

        "Take care of Drew for me," Brian said.  "Take care of yourself while you're at it."

        Jeff gave in and hugged him.

        "You're giving me happy thoughts," Nick Carter said.

        Jeff let go of Brian, gave Nick a critical look, then hugged him, too.

        "I think everybody's right," Nick said when Jeff released him.

        "About what?" Jeff asked.

        "I really do have a thing for short older men."

        Jeff smiled.  "Should we warn Chris?"

        "I think we should warn Howie," Brian said.

        Nick Timmons-Lachey joined them.  Nick Carter grinned and said, "Or maybe it's just older men in general."

        "He's shorter than you, it still counts," Brian said.

        "Kiss me good-bye?" Nick invited.

        Nick shook his hand.  "Good-bye, Nick."

        "You'll miss me," Nick said.

        "I think I will," Nick agreed with a smile, and kissed his cheek.  "We'll look after Drew for you."

        "Not too close, though," Nick said.  "Okay, gonna go now before you kick my ass."  He turned quickly and found Justin Timberlake Chasez.  "We gotta hang out sometime."

        "When the tour's over," Justin agreed.  "These tours do end, right?"

        "Do you think I'm spoiled?"

        "Yeah.  Don't worry about it; I am too."

        "Okay.  Call me, keep in touch."

        "You ever miss Drew too much I'll send JC over to keep you company.  You can borrow him for a weekend or something."

        "Great, thanks.  I'll do that."  He felt a hand on his arm and turned to Drew.  "Hey."

        "Time to say good-bye," Drew said.

        "Come with us."

        Drew's fingers crawled up through Nick's hair.  "Kiss me good-bye."

        "I don't want to."

        "Then just kiss me."

        Nick did, kissed Drew until he couldn't recall the taste of anything else, kissed Drew until he couldn't remember how to stop for breath.  Then he felt Drew moving away and he held on tightly, closed his eyes and rested his forehead on Drew's hair, chewed his lower lip to keep from crying.  He might be a gay blond tenor bottomboy cocksucker but he didn't have to cry.

        Drew pet his hair, his neck.  "I love you.  I'll miss you."

        "Call me."

        "Every day.  Or every night.  Depending on who's in which time zone."

        "You can't make me smile."

        "I can keep trying."

        "You have to let go, Nick," Brian's voice said.

        "Don't want to."

        "Not even to share him with me?"

        Nick grit his teeth to steel himself against the pain, then let go, stepped back, tossed his hair and pretended that it wasn't killing him.

        Brian moved into Drew's embrace, hugged him, kissed him, held on as long as he could.  "I love you."

        "I love you," Drew said.  He loosened his grip just enough to look into Brian's blue eyes.  "I miss you every day.  It hurts to be apart from you.  But we'll be together again."

        "Not soon enough."

        "You can spend your time looking after Nick.  And, I don't know, touring or something."

        "Please.  Promise me you'll be careful."

        "I will.  You too."

        Brian kissed him.  "I love you."

        "Wait a second."  Chris's voice broke into the moment.  "One two three four.  Four Degrees.  One two three four.  Four Boys.  One two three four.  Four of us.  We're missing two people."

        "AJ and Lance," Kevin said.  Howie got on the BSB bus to look for AJ.

        "Where'd they go?" Brian asked, one arm still around Drew.

        "Maybe they got on the buses already," Joey suggested.

        "Uh, Kevin?" Howie said, stepping off of the bus.  "You feel like trading places?"

        "Why?" Kevin asked.

        "We already have a bass on our bus, and it doesn't look like he's in a hurry to leave."

        "What's Lance doing on your bus?" Justin Timberlake Chasez asked.  "We don't allow *NSYNC-Backstreet Boys bus visiting."

        "He's not there to visit the bus, he's there to visit AJ," Howie said.

        "So they did make up," Justin said.

        "What?" Chris asked.

        "I've missed something," Nick Carter said.

        Justin put his finger to his lips and silently hopped onto the bus.  JC grinned and followed.  One by one the others joined them, until all twelve were moving stealthily down the bus aisle.  They found AJ and Lance in the back of the bus, sitting on the floor against the sofa, Lance with his back to the sofa and AJ kneeling astride him in a definite romantic embrace.

        As one, the twelve coughed.

        AJ looked up slowly and turned his head to face them.  "Yes?"

        Since everyone else was laughing and exclaiming, Kevin said, "We're leaving now."

        "So go," AJ said.

        "I think they need to take Lance with them."

        "He's busy."

        "I should go," Lance admitted.

        AJ glared down at Lance.  "No, you shouldn't."

        "Since when are you gay?" Chris asked AJ.

        "Since when is Lance gay?" Joey asked Chris.

        "Maybe they're bisexual," Nick Carter suggested.

        "When did this happen?" Nick Lachey asked.

        "Is this a vacation fling or are they in love?" Justin Jeffre asked.

        "They'd better be in love if AJ's all over Lance like that," JC said.

        "They're only a year, a year and a half apart, right?" Joey asked.

        "So?" Justin Timberlake Chasez asked.

        "Just asking," Joey said.

        "Are we going to go back on tour at all?" Howie asked.

        "We could all just stay here," Jeff said.

        Everyone fell silent and watched AJ and Lance share a lingering kiss.  Then AJ sighed and stood, helping up Lance.  "Everybody who's not a Backstreet Boy, off the bus.  Some of us have work to do."

        "Could we make some of them honorary Backstreet Boys?" Nick Carter asked.  "It's not like they really need Drew."

        "They sort of do," Drew said.

        "I could come with you.  Nick could take my place.  No one would notice," Nick said.

        "What about me?" Brian asked.

        "You'll get a big blue-eyed tenor named Nick and a pretty-mouthed Lachey all in one," Nick said.  "What's to complain about?"

        "I have to go," Drew said.  "We're holding up traffic in the aisle.  I'll see you later.  I'll call you.  Be good."  Two swift kisses and he was gone.  Others followed him off of the bus with good-byes until the only non-Backstreet Boy remaining was Lance.

        "Call me," Lance told AJ.

        "I will."  He missed those pretty green eyes already.  "I'm going to go buy all of your CD's now."

        "Even the Christmas one?"

        "Yeah, but don't tell anybody."

        "I've gotta go."

        One last kiss.  "I'll call you."

        "You'd better."

        "Before what?" JC asked, sitting beside him, rubbing his back.

        "Before one of us fell for one of them.  So who's left?"

        "Left where?  Oh.  Kevin, Howie, Justin, Chris, and Joey."

        Justin chuckled.  "You want to start betting on who's next?"

        [Is this sentence: "'To,' he glanced at Nick, who was looking fixedly at the elevator doors, 'put it lightly,'" a really horrendous split infinitive or just bad writing?  Will Abs Breen make a public confession of his secret love for Brian - - and will Liam Neeson stand in the way of their romance?  Has this circling drama finally come to its end?  Yes.  For now.]

        Know who Abs Breen is?  Whether the answer's yes, no, or maybe, go read "Divisions."  It won't tell you who he is in any deep spiritual sense, but it'll talk about him having sex.

        Hint: It's a lot easier to sneeze "AJ" than to sneeze "Kevin."