No Mistake

Copyright December 30-31, 2001 by Matthew Haldeman-Time

Rating: R

Pairing: Degree/Degree, Town/Town, Degree/Town, etc.

Disclaimer: The young men who comprise 98 Degrees are their own people.  The author has not met anyone here described, nor does the author mean to suggest that these people act this way in real life.  This writing is a work of fiction.  I make no money from this venture.

Dedication: This slashfic is for Ewan McGregor and the Savage Garden slashwriters.

Wherein there is mild cursing and mild sex, but it's all for a good cause.


Part One: Cause

        Justin had been Nick's friend for a long time.  A long time.  Their friendship was well-established and very, very solid.  They were pals, man.  Good pals.  Being in 98 Degrees only strengthened their connection.  By now, they were so close they could have been brothers.  Well, Drew was like Justin's little brother.  Nick was more like...

        It was hard to describe what Nick was to him.  A lot of it was speculation; what he would do for Nick, if Nick ever needed it.  He'd die for Nick, he'd take care of Nick, he'd kill for Nick.  But, during the natural course of a day, Nick didn't ask those things of him.

        Deciding that he'd die for Nick had been much easier than deciding that he'd kill for Nick.  Give his own life, sure.  Take someone else's life?  But...yes.  He would.

        He would have taken care of Nick, looked after Nick...  But Nick was a grown man, independent and self-sufficient.  Nick was capable of looking after himself.

       Yeah, he loved Nick.  He didn't see any alternative.

        Nick was talented.  Not sort of talented, or mostly talented.  Very talented.  Confident, but not rudely self-centered.  Nick had developed slight arrogance as a result of 98 Degrees, as a result of the attention and how other people treated him, but Justin and Drew weren't letting it get to him.  They knew him too well, had known him for too long, to let him turn into an arrogant jerk.  He was Nick, after all; one of the nicest, simplest, most decent people Justin knew.

        Nick was nice, easy-going, down-to-earth.  Friendly, good-humored.  He wasn't a nuclear physicist, but he didn't need to be.  He was a jock, for the most part.  A little anal-retentive on occasion, but Justin was used to it.

        And god damn, the man was gorgeous.  Justin didn't usually care what his friends looked like, but he didn't usually have friends who looked like Nick Lachey.  God damn.

        It was possible to have a successful career in the music industry and not look model-perfect.  Justin could think of quite a few very famous singers who sang better than they looked.  But Nick...  Nick made the perfect front man.

        Even his physical flaws worked for him.

        Damn it, the man had sexy shoulders.

        Justin himself was not unattractive.  But he suspected that God was testing him by surrounding him with Nick, Jeff, and Drew.  A lesson in humility, maybe.  And he was humble.  He knew who he was, he was confident in who he was, he liked who he was, and he didn't need a perfect six-pack to prove it.

        Besides, Nick liked his eyes.  Nick said that he had nice eyes.  Sometimes they were blue-gray.

        Nick liked his mouth, too.  Soft lips.

        Hey, whatever Nick liked, Justin liked.


        Justin did like himself.  He was a pretty cool person.

        Nick didn't like himself as much as he could, as much as he should.  Justin was trying to help him there.  It was interesting how the front man for 98 Degrees was the least secure of the group.

        Justin liked himself in a healthy way.  Justin liked Nick in a...a less socially acceptable way.  But that was just too bad for society.  Justin wasn't about to stop being in love with Nick.

        Besides.  Nick was in love with him, right back.  Justin wasn't going to turn away from that.


        Second-tier music acts were invited to help Habitat for Humanity.  They'd group in locations across the country to build homes, then come together to record a song and shoot a video.  98 Degrees agreed to help the cause.

        Their assigned spot was a small town in Ohio.  Their partners: O-Town.

        O-Town?

        Of course, O-Town.  Dan Miller was from Ohio.

        Couldn't they be paired with Alicia Keyes or J-Lo?  Or at least reputable musicians?

        98 Degrees had been dodging the boy band stigma from the start.  They neither needed nor wanted to be put with O-Town, for anything.

        It was for a good cause.

        That became the mantra.  Then it became an inside joke.  As they drew nearer to their date with destiny, they called upon themselves to be brave, to be strong, and to suck it up and go for it, because it was for a good cause.  Sure, they'd have to work side-by-side with overhyped young people.  Sure, they'd worked hard and resented O-Town's overnight, somewhat unwarranted fame and success.  Sure, the guys from O-Town seemed to be introspective twits.  But it was for a good cause.

        And maybe they could drop a hammer on Jacob's foot.  By accident.

        Why were they called O-Town?  Not a single one of them was from Orlando, or even Florida.  They needed a new name.  Maybe "Whiny Pukes."

        Really, the guys of O-Town were probably very nice young men.  They probably had serious aspirations, worked hard, and brushed their teeth after each meal.  But 98 Degrees did not want to be associated with them in any way, shape, or form.

        Then the two groups met.  And built a house together.

        Those were really fun guys.  They were nice, they were interesting, and they knew how to have a good time.  When they made a commitment, they kept it.

        Justin and Drew agreed that Dan was a great guy.  Jeff and Jacob really hit it off.

        The building of each house was being filmed.  Apparently the camera crews had been given specific instructions.  Nick and Ashley were teamed up for everything, and couldn't make a move without being caught on film.  It made sense; Nick and Ashley were the designated heartthrobs, and people would like to see them more than, say, Justin.

        Besides, it was hard work, physical labor, and Nick and Ashley looked good sweaty, like a soda commercial or something.  The same could not be said of Erik.

        Ashley was nice.  Sort of innocent.  He liked to talk, to communicate.

        When Nick stripped out of his shirt, Ashley ran curious fingertips over the tattoo across Nick's shoulders.  Justin shrugged it off.

        It wasn't like Nick had a history of interest in pretty young blonds...

        The house-building went well.  Everyone was pleased with the work, and felt good about being of service.  Once the house was up, the two groups flew to New York to join the other singer-builders to record the song and shoot the video.

        Nick and Ashley got solos.

        Nick and Ashley were featured in the video.

        Nick and Ashley were new best friends.

        Justin was cool with it.  Nick deserved to have good friends.  Besides, it was for a good cause.

        While the big stars were being filmed and adored, the less glorified people were hanging around, waiting for group shots.  Justin went to get a soda.

        Jacob came over and picked up a Coke.  Justin had decided to like Jacob.  The guy was scrappy.  Plus, Jacob actually was a very nice, friendly person, if he decided to let you in on the secret.

        "You got a minute?" Jacob asked.

        As a matter of fact, Justin had several minutes.  He and Jacob found a relatively secluded corner and pretended to be very interested in their Cokes.

        "I got the feeling that you and Nick are close," Jacob said.

        Justin nodded.  "We've been friends for a long time."

        "Yeah."  Jacob was assessing him.

        Something important seemed to be happening.

        "I hope you stay close," Jacob said.  "I hope you don't let anything come between you."

        Okay.

        "I know Ashley and I are really close, and I'd hate it if something happened."

        Apparently Jacob was being cryptic.  Were they on the set of a benefit video, or "NYPD Blue?"

        "Nick and Ashley are getting close, too."

        Justin wasn't sure that he wanted to be a passenger on this train of thought.

        "Hey."  Dan was in their midst, all big blue eyes and white teeth.  "How're you doing?"

        "We're doing just fine," Jacob said.  Jacob had a talent for being cynical and sarcastic, but only people he didn't like were irritated by it.  Justin wasn't sure how he managed it.  Ashley had said, "To know Jacob is to love him.  If you don't understand him, you can't stand him."  It seemed to be true.

        Justin, Jacob, and Dan slipped into casual conversation.  Justin decided to ignore Jacob's earlier hints.  He did wonder, though...  Was Jacob comparing what Justin had with Nick to his own relationship with Ashley?  That would explain why Jacob was talking to Justin about Nick and Ashley, and it would explain why Jacob was doing it in a cryptic fashion.  Jacob couldn't walk into the open with a sexual or romantic attraction to Ashley.

        Maybe Jacob and Ashley weren't a couple.  Maybe Jacob wanted Ashley, but didn't have him.

        Well, Justin and Nick were a couple.  Justin was secure in that relationship.  He wasn't worried that Nick would cheat on him.


        They still had a few days of the video shoot to go, having only just begun.  The singers were being put up in scattered hotels.  98 Degrees and O-Town shared a hotel, and were even on the same floor.

        Justin put all thoughts of Ashley and Jacob from his mind.  He and Nick made love, and slept spooned together.

        In the morning, as Justin and Nick got ready to head out the door, their conversation turned to Ashley.

        "That kid is infatuated," Nick said.

        "Infatuated?" Justin repeated.

        "All he talks about is Jacob this, Jacob that.  I don't want to be the one to have to tell him that the world doesn't revolve around Jacob."

        Justin shook his head, smiling.  He couldn't believe it.

        "I almost feel sorry for Ashley.  He's so sweet, and Jacob has such a dominant personality..."

        Justin was tempted to tell Jacob that he had nothing to worry about.


        Video shoot, day two.  Justin hung around in dry-clean-only clothes, watching the parade of stars.  He needed to find a bathroom.  Down this hallway, around this corner, and - - Nick and Ashley.

        They were standing very close together.  Too close.  Nick's left foot was forward, and if their thighs weren't touching, Justin was a soprano.  They were talking, yes, but there was so much subtext going on that Justin didn't need to hear a word.

        They didn't notice him.  They were too busy noticing each other.

        Nick.  His friend.  His lover.  His...


        Justin wasn't interested in carrying on conversation.  Dan sat beside him, calm, quiet.

        Jacob walked up, neither calm nor quiet.  "Have you seen Ashley?"

        "Not for a while," Dan said.

        "Have you seen Nick?"

        "No," Dan said.  He seemed to be limiting his answers on purpose, as though he knew what they were thinking and didn't want to contribute to it.  He was a nice guy.

        Jacob walked off.  Justin wondered whether he'd find Ashley.  Whether, once he did, he'd wish he hadn't.


Part Two: Why

        Trevor was lounging on Dan's bed with Ashley sitting at his side.  Erik was standing in front of the television, flipping through the channels.  Dan was absorbing what Jacob had to say.

        "We're a group," Jacob said.  "A group.  A group effort.  O-Town.  Not Ashley and the Angels."

        "The Angels?" Trevor repeated.

        Ashley wanted to say something.  Jacob didn't let him.  "There is no reason that this week is all about Ashley, that the video is all about Ashley-"

        "I have a close-up in the video because I have a solo in the-"

        "Why do you get a solo?  Why you?"

        "I didn't ask for it.  They had the part-"

        "If anyone, anyone, should have a solo, it should be Dan."

        "It isn't his voice part."  Ashley was trying to be reasonable, wanted Jacob to back down a little.  Ashley didn't like confrontations.

        Well, Jacob did.  "We all built this group together.  We all built that house together.  Why aren't we all in the song and the video?"

        "There are so many artists, and it's like a three-minute song," Ashley said.  "They don't have time to give everyone a big moment.  I'm like the group representative."

        "Why you and not Dan?"

        "You know why," Dan said.

        "Ashley's our DH," Erik told the television.

        DH.  Designated heartthrob.  Jacob bristled.  Normally, he was okay with it.  Hell, normally he was proud of Ashley for it.  Sometimes it was a trip, the way Ashley got all of the attention, the screaming girls and the camera flashes.  But right now, Jacob was almost angry about it.  Resentful.

        "It's for a good cause," Dan said.  Someone had been spending too much time with 98 Degrees.  Jacob had to crack a smile.  "The song is finished, and it's great, and it's something we all can be proud of.  They're in the middle of the video shoot.  They know what they want, they have it half-done, Ashley looks great on-camera."

        Jacob shook his head.  He didn't like it.

        When the impromptu meeting ended, Jacob went to his room.  Ashley followed him down the hallway.  "There are a lot of people involved in this.  They're making decisions with a lot of factors.  If it were just us and one director, we could make changes, we could say no, we'd rather do it this way.  But this isn't our project."

        "I know."  He unlocked his door without looking at Ashley.

        "Why are you mad at me?"  Jacob knew the expression on Ashley's face: hurt, confused, eyes narrowing, a little pissed that Jacob was being unreasonable, wanting to talk it out and get it fixed.

        A door across the hall opened.  Jacob closed his door in Ashley's face and left Ashley alone in the hallway with Nick Lachey.


        It wasn't that life sucked, exactly.  Life really didn't suck.  Jacob loved his life.  He also loved Ashley.  Ashley was someone he wanted to protect and cherish.  Innocence, beauty, trust...  The home-made posters dotting the crowds at their concerts were right.  Ashley was an angel.

        Ashley and Erik were best friends, had been together from the start.  But Ashley had just as strong, if not stronger, a connection with Jacob.  He looked up to Jacob.  Jacob knew it.  Everybody knew it.  Jacob was high-maintenance, and Ashley was a full-time maintenance man.

        It was good for Jacob's ego.  He tried not to abuse it.  He tried not to dominate Ashley.  But sometimes...

        Jacob wasn't perfect.  Sometimes he got frustrated with himself for loving Ashley, with himself for wanting more than he should; and he got frustrated with Ashley, for not loving him back, for being a friend but nothing more.  And when he got frustrated, he took it out on Ashley.  And Ashley didn't know why.

        He didn't think that if he got Ashley in his bed, he'd automatically become a better person.  But he sort of suspected that being an angel's lover was bound to make a difference.

        He'd almost put the moves on Ashley, once.  He'd been damned close.  They'd been sharing a hotel room, and they'd been sitting on one of the beds, and Ashley had been looking at him, and there had been nothing but happiness and friendship in Ashley's eyes.  He'd almost gone for it, even started to lean in...

        But he hadn't done it.

        Sometimes, he thought that if he kissed Ashley, Ashley would kiss him back.

        Sometimes, he was sure of it.


        Jacob kept an eye on Justin Jeffre.  He figured if things were getting serious, if Nick were starting something with Ashley, Justin would show signs.  Sometimes he checked in, talked to Justin for a minute.  It was easy to do, because Justin was with Dan a lot, and Jacob had plenty of excuses to talk to Dan.

        Nick and Ashley were getting closer and closer, but it didn't look like they were doing anything about it.  Maybe Nick really was serious about Justin, and wouldn't cheat.

        Jacob didn't suspect everyone of cheating.  Under normal circumstances, he wouldn't suspect Nick of anything.  However, they were talking about Ashley, here.  Who wouldn't make a play for Ashley?


        Jacob went to track down his guitar.  He'd left it in Ashley's room.  He raised his hand to knock on Ashley's door-

        -and heard a moan of sexual pleasure.

        Jacob raised his eyebrows.  Whoa.

        Then he realized that yes, indeed, this was Ashley's room.

        Another moan.

        He stood there and listened.  He wanted to be sure that there was no mistake.  He wanted the knowledge to sink into him, deep and undeniable.

        Ashley was having sex.

        Nick was fucking Ashley.

        Nick was fucking Ashley.

        Jacob breathed in, breathed out, and walked away.


        Someone knocked on Jacob's door.

        It was Ashley.  He looked freshly scrubbed, and his hair was damp.  Must've come right from the shower.  Oh, how nice.  His first post-sex stop, and it was Jacob.

        "What?" Jacob asked.

        "Can I come in?"

        Jacob turned and walked back into the room, not inviting but not saying no.  He had passive-aggressiveness down pat.

        Ashley entered Jacob's room, closing the door.  "Can I talk to you for a minute?"

        "About what?"  He met Ashley's gaze just long enough to let Ashley see how cold, how hard he was inside.

        Ashley looked around the room, a little nervous.  But he needed help, and he believed in Jacob.  "This is just between us."

        Jacob waited.

        "Nick is with Justin.  They're a couple."  He waited for a reaction and didn't get one.  "I didn't know that."

        Oh, god.  Ashley was priceless.  Only Ashley wouldn't have realized.  Jacob wanted to fix it for him, wanted to straighten out the mess and end the drama so Ashley would feel better.

        "Nick's been friendly, we've...  I really like him, he's..."

        "He's nice, he's hot, you got friendly.  He didn't bother to mention his boyfriend until after he'd screwed you."

        "How did you...  It wasn't..."

        "What did you do with him?"

        Ashley frowned.

        Jacob knew that Ashley was bi.  Knew that Ashley had never been with another guy in any way.  Knew that Ashley was a bottom.  He knew, he knew, that Nick had taken Ashley's virginity.  He didn't need Ashley to tell him.  He just wanted to know if that was all, or if they'd done other things as well.  For some reason, he would handle it better if they'd fucked than if they'd had oral sex.  He didn't want to think of Ashley kneeling in front of...that pretty mouth opening for...

        "How did you know?" Ashley asked.

        "What do you want to do?" Jacob asked.  "You want to be his boyfriend?"

        "No," Ashley said.

        "Do you think he'd leave Justin for you?"

        "I hope not."

        Apparently it had been casual sex between DH's.  Ashley hadn't been looking for love or a relationship.  Ashley also hadn't been expecting to hurt anyone, or to interfere in an ongoing relationship.  The blame fell squarely on Nick for this one.  "It's between Nick and Justin now.  You didn't know, and it was his responsibility to tell you," Jacob said.

        "If I'd known-"

        "I know," Jacob said.

        "Why'd he do it?  He loves Justin.  They've been friends for years."

        "He's a jerk who made a huge mistake," Jacob said.  "And you're the best mistake anyone could make."

        Ashley was standing too close, looking at him with eyes too loving.

        Jacob wanted to touch his face, kiss his face, make love to him.

        "Would it be okay if I stayed here tonight?  My bed..."

        "Yeah, sure."  Jacob nodded.  Life continued.


        Jacob started to write a song.  "The Best Mistake."

        Jacob wouldn't let Nick anywhere near Ashley.  He didn't care if Nick was older, bigger, and muscle-bound.  The guy could go fuck himself.

        Okay, so Jacob was a little protective of Ashley.

        Ashley still didn't understand why Nick had cheated on Justin.

        Jacob hadn't said anything to Justin, and neither had Ashley.  Either Nick had, or Justin had a sixth sense, because it was obvious that all was not well.  Jacob didn't know what to think.  On the one hand, Nick and Justin had been very close for a long time, and should stay that way.  On the other hand, Nick had jeopardized their relationship, if not thrown it away entirely, for casual sex.  Jacob decided to leave it to them.  Their relationship was their business.  Jacob's business was Ashley.

        Ashley.

        Ashley spent the next night in his room, in his bed, as well.  No doubt the bedding in Ashley's room had been changed by a housekeeper, but Jacob didn't mention it.

        They were going back on tour the next day.  A few details to wrap up, and they'd hit the road.

        "I really liked him," Ashley said.

        Jacob rolled to his back.  The room was dark.

        "He liked me, too.  We hit it off right away."

        "You have a lot in common," Jacob said.

        "Are you mad at me?"

        They weren't four years old.  Are you mad at me.  Jacob rolled his eyes.

        "Jake."

        "No, I'm not mad at you.  I don't have any reason to be mad at you.  I'm pissed as hell at Nick, but I'm not mad at you."

        "Dan says that Justin doesn't blame me."

        "He shouldn't blame you."  Why was Jacob not surprised that Dan knew how Justin was handling it?

        "He knew what he was doing," Ashley said.

        Jacob didn't want to hear this.

        "He knew everything.  It made it easier, I guess.  Being with someone who knew what he was doing.  For my first time."

        Jacob tried to relax his jaw.  In another second he'd be grinding his teeth.

        "I don't know.  I guess, if I could do it over again, I'd...  I'd be with someone who loved me, instead of someone experienced.  Knowing the steps doesn't matter as much as..."

        "You can't do it over again."

        Ashley was quiet.  "I wish I could."

        "Style over substance."

        "What?"

        "You went for style over substance."

        "Maybe he went for style over substance."

        "What?"

        "You know why he...  It's the same reason I got the solo, the same reason I'm featured in the video."

        It was true, but it wasn't true.  "You have a lot in common.  You were attracted to each other-"

        "You're right. I shouldn't have the solo, I-"

        "You think they'd rather put Babyface Erik in the video?"

        "I don't deserve the spotlight. Not more than any one of you."

        "Nick liked you.  You got to know each other, you-"

        "You should've seen him afterward.  He was horrified at what he'd done.  And he looked, it was like I, I repulsed him."

        "He's a jerk.  He made a mistake.  That's his problem.  He liked you, and he wanted you, and no one's going to blame him for it.  Except we do blame him for acting on it."

        "I don't..."

        "He's wrong for starting something.  He's wrong for doing anything about his attraction.  He's wrong for cheating on Justin.  But he was attracted to you, and that's understandable.  He's only human."

        "They should've featured you and Dan in the video."

        Jacob smiled.  "No.  They made the right choice."

        Ashley rolled to his side, facing Jacob.  "I love you, man.  I want you to know that."

        Only Ashley.  "I do know that.  I love you, too."  Jacob rolled over to face Ashley, submitting to Ashley's hug.  "Listen.  It's not style over substance, choosing you.  Your style and your substance are all mixed together, they're one and the same.  It's a great thing, Ashley.  That's why everybody likes you."

        "What are you saying?"

        "I'm saying you're as beautiful inside as you are outside.  You're-"

        "Really?  Jacob.  You think I'm beautiful?"

        "Yeah.  I just said it."

        "I think you're beautiful, too."

        Jacob laughed.

        "No!  I'm serious.  Come on.  You're...  You're so strong, and so true to yourself, and so loyal, and-"

        "And I've won beauty contests since age five."

        "You are beautiful.  I love to look at you."

        "Did you have him in your mouth?"  The question escaped Jacob before the words hit his brain.

        "Did...  No."

        "If you could have your first time again...  You wouldn't have done it then?"

        "No."

        "When?"

        "Tonight."  Ashley's hand met Jacob's chest through his T-shirt.  "With you."

        "Ashley."

        Ashley pushed gently, rolling Jacob to his back.  Jacob closed his eyes, deciding what to do, what to say.  Then his shirt was pushed up, his boxers were pulled down, and there were soft kisses...  Ashley's gentle hands, Ashley's warm mouth, making him hard.  He was aroused, and it was Ashley, and he was the first, he was the only, Ashley had chosen him.  Ashley was giving this to him.


        He wasn't a better person because he loved Ashley.

        He was a better person because Ashley loved him.


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