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Maybe Someday
Copyright May 8, 2003-December 26, 2004 by Matthew Haldeman-Time
Rating: R
Pairing: Brad Delson/Joseph Hahn
Disclaimer: The people who comprise Linkin Park are their own people. The author has not met anyone here described, nor does the author mean to suggest that these people act this way in real life. This writing is a work of fiction. I make no money from this venture.
Dedication: Because I love Linkin Park. Which was, originally, Diamond’s fault.
banner by Vanessa
“Stop staring.”
Phoenix blinked, turning to Mike. “What?”
“Stop staring,” Mike said. “They’re not going to turn into ballerinas before your eyes.”
“Ballerinas,” Phoenix repeated, disturbed by the image. He didn’t want to picture Joe in a tutu.
“They’re gay,” Mike said in a dramatic whisper
before resuming his normal tone. “That just means they like dick. They’re no
different than they were before.”
“That’s a lot different,” Phoenix said. “That’s wildly different.”
Mike shrugged. “It’s not that bad.” He smiled. “You should try it sometime.”
“God, no,” Phoenix said. “Don’t tell me you have, I don’t want to hear that. Just don’t say it.”
“If I had, what would you do?” Mike asked. “Be afraid of me? Shun me? Flinch away every time I got too close? Stare at me like I had six eyes?”
“You haven’t, have you?” Phoenix asked.
“You’re missing the point, you homophobe. I’m still me, whether I have or whether I haven’t.”
“I’m not homophobic,” Phoenix said.
“When’s the last time you kissed a guy?”
“I’ve never kissed another guy in my life!” Phoenix exclaimed, shocked, disgusted. Mike gave him a knowing look. “No, hey,” Phoenix said, quickly backpedaling. “That doesn’t mean I’m homophobic, that means I’m straight, and there’s nothing wrong with being straight. Fine. When’s the last time you kissed a guy?” he asked, challenging.
“I haven’t,” Mike said. “But I might find
myself in that position someday.”
“There are some positions you know you’ll never
be in,” Phoenix said. “I know I’ll never have to surrender to Mongolian
invaders. I know I’ll never play water polo with Jim Carrey. I know I’ll never
end up doing another guy.”
“I didn’t say ‘doing,’ I was talking about kissing,” Mike said. “Ten years ago, Brad would have said he’d never end up making out with a Korean scratcher, and look at where he is now.”
“You’re in heaven, right?” Joe asked Brad on the couch.
“Oh, heaven, right, absolutely,” Brad said, and smiled.
Joe nodded at Mike. “Heaven.” He turned back to the TV.
“How long have you been listening?” Phoenix asked.
“The bus is kind of small, and you’re not being all that quiet,” Brad said. “If it’s any consolation, I’m not at all attracted to you.”
“Not at all,” Joe agreed, eyes still on the screen.
“There, that should make you feel better,” Mike said with a smile, giving Phoenix a hearty slap on the back. “Two out of two, totally unattracted to you.”
“Almost repelled, I’d say,” Brad said. “I’d go so far as to label him, like, sexually repugnant.”
“There, isn’t that great?” Mike asked. “You’re repulsive to bisexual men.”
“Yeah, that’s great,” Phoenix said. “Thanks
for all of your help.”
“Any time,” Mike said with a warm smile.
While Phoenix moved on, Joe put his hand on Brad’s thigh. He gave a testing squeeze.
“Can I help you?” Brad asked, amused.
“You got a minute?” Joe asked, looking away from the screen and towards him.
“Maybe. For what?”
Joe lowered his lashes and made a kissing mouth.
Brad laughed. “Now?”
“Now,” Joe said, slipping one hand onto Brad’s hip, pulling Brad in.
Brad turned to him naturally, laughing a quick protest. “We’re on the bus.”
Joe kissed Brad’s cheek, then the corner of his mouth, urging him closer.
“The guys are right here,” Brad said, as Joe’s
hand came to the crook of his knee and lifted his leg, pulling him halfway into
Joe’s lap. “They’re going to walk in any second, and they don’t want to see
this.”
“I don’t want to listen to Rob snore, and I do that,” Joe said, kissing Brad’s neck, one hand on his ass. “I don’t want to watch Mike eat, and I do that for three squares a day.”
“Watch Mike eat?” Brad asked, tucking his fingers into Joe’s waistband, closing his eyes as Joe’s mouth started gentle suction on his neck. “What’s wrong with the way, oh, ah, Mike eats?”
“The way he chews is disgusting.” Joe switched to the other side of Brad’s neck, finding the tendon he wanted. Brad moaned, and the soft ache of it made Joe determined to keep going.
“Since when do we eat three square meals a day?” Mike asked.
Joe glared at Mike for interrupting. Brad began to resurface, but Joe couldn’t have that, so he cupped his hand between Brad’s legs. Brad tensed, kissing him, pushing his hand away but easing deeper into the kiss, wrapping an arm around Joe’s shoulders.
Smiling, Mike walked away, giving them space. No, he’d never kissed a guy, but he wasn’t willing to rule it out entirely. He’d never planned on doing it, but his life had taken a lot of unexpected twists. At this point, he wasn’t willing to say “never” about much of anything.
Maybe, someday, he would kiss a guy. It was possible.
Moving down the aisle to his bunk, he bumped into Chester. They maneuvered past each other with a grin and an “excuse me.”
“Don’t go back there,” Mike said. “Brad and Joe are having a little private time.”
“Hey, at least somebody’s getting laid,” Chester said. “More power to them.”
As Chester turned away, Mike let his gaze linger.
Yeah.
Maybe.
Someday.