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November 13, 2008
Sweet Uncleanness turned eight years
old on Tuesday!
Confetti!
Here's a "Sucker" short to celebrate. Or a "Sucker" long. Or a long short story. It's a slice of the back story. A glimpse into life before "Sucker" started, when things were going well, and everyone was happy. Well, almost everyone.
I wrote it, and thought that I'd posted it. Then I realized that I hadn't, and decided to post it. (See the April 18th post directly below.) Then I thought that I'd posted it, and (again) realized that I hadn't. But here it is! Shiny and new, just for you. Happy birthday!
April 18, 2008
I'd tell you that I'm busy, but you
know that. I'd tell you that I love Backstreet and I miss "Sucker,"
but you know that, too. What's new? A tornado brought me a storm
puppy, which I wish I could keep; Donald Trump and Trace Adkins are on my
"you will never be forgiven" list; and I cannot figure out what Madonna and
Justin are singing about. Four minutes to save the world from what?
How?
Part 96 of "Sucker" is up, and a "Sucker" short story will be added soon. Good times.
October 29, 2007
Go see Lance on his book tour.
You still have a chance to see him in person, get an autograph, get a hug,
say hi, ask questions, and gaze into those green, green eyes. Dude.
It's like a vortex. I was practically incoherent, and I barely
comprehended what he said back to me, and I wasn't bold enough to ask for a
hug (the fact that he's a celebrity does not make him eager to hug everyone
he meets), but I got a good handshake, and we actually conversed (briefly,
yes, but it counts), and I got an autograph, and I got two pictures, and
Lance is terrific. You should buy and read his book, too, obviously.
It's great, and I tore right through it in one sitting. I learned a
whole lot about Lance and *NSYNC and, dude, the Russian cosmonaut thing is a
must-read.
You know, of course, that you're buying Backstreet's Unbreakable on October 30th, and you're going to watch and record all of their TV appearances, and you're going to see them in person as often as possible.
I've been published again. First there was "Hot Weather" through Samhain. Now there's "A Thief and a Killer" through Alyson Books in Best Gay Love Stories: Summer Flings, available in bookstores near you! Also available through Amazon.
October 26, 2007
Buy Backstreet's Unbreakable on October 30th.
Just had another birthday.
Buy Backstreet's Unbreakable on October 30th.
Here's a descriptive blurb:
There’s more to summer than just hot weather.
Fresh out of college and new to the
working world, John faces reality—spending the rest of his life stuck behind
a desk instead of having fun in the sun with his friends. His boss is on his
back, his car is breaking down, and the oppressive heat is broiling him
alive. There’s no end in sight to his misery.
Tall, slender, green-eyed Keith runs
the lunch shift at the local diner, an air-conditioned oasis away from what
John’s life has become. Keith’s cheerful personality, constant smile and
unbearably sexy body help to remind John that summer is what he makes of it.
And with Keith’s cooperation, John plans on making this his best summer yet.
Excerpts here.
Buy Backstreet's Unbreakable on October 30th.
September 4, 2007
I'm posting here something that I
posted yesterday on my
LiveJournal. You guys are definitely the right audience for it.
(In other news, "Hot Weather," my short story published through Samhain, comes out next month. Excerpts will be up on my other site shortly. And I was in a car accident yesterday. On one hand, I'm fine, no one was hurt, everything's okay. On the other hand, I have to get the car fixed, and even though I have insurance I still have to cover the deductible, my insurance doesn't cover a rental car, there's talk of/need for chiropractors, etc. So while 75% of me is just grateful that everyone's okay, no one's in jail, no one's in the hospital, and insurance should cover the bulk of the expenses, 25% of me is worrying about money, how to manage without a car, and whether I should see a chiropractor or tough it out.)
You are watching "Mission: Manband," aren't you? Why haven't they fired their manager?
Here's the crosspost:
I saw Justin's concert tonight on HBO. (I subscribed to HBO two days ago,
and will cancel my subscription in another few days. If you'd like to see
his concert in reruns, feel free to do the same.)
There's a lot to say about the show,
but almost all of it was shoved aside by The Return of the Wet Knees.
Those of you who've seen *NSYNC's
Madison Square Garden concert will remember that at one point, Justin walked
onstage with wet knees. Speculation abounded among fans, and the most common
conclusion was that Justin has extraordinarily sweaty knees. Diamond opposed
that theory, because her baby does not have freaky sweaty knees, and
since I bow down to Diamond's authority as a Justinologist, I was like,
okay, so it's not sweat, it's just water, or something.
And then, years later, as seen on TV
tonight, Justin walked onstage with wet knees.
My theories, bad as they may be, are:
1.) We know (because Joey told us
years ago, and Justin confirmed it in the post-concert footage just tonight)
that Justin wears short, fitted pants under his performance clothes.
(Diamond mentioned Speedos/bike shorts, but Justin himself indicated that
it's just long-legged underwear.) If he's sweating during the show, maybe
the sweat drains out at his knees, where those shorts end. Although that
doesn't necessarily explain why the sweat stains stop on either side of his
knee at the seam of his pants. And don't the backs of his knees sweat? It
should show there, since he bends his legs a lot when he dances.
2.) Justin likes to kneel down and
give head backstage. Either that creates sweat stains, or he kneels in
water.
3.) By some crazy coincidence,
there's a faulty, loose hose backstage at Madison Square Garden, that
sprayed Justin across the knees that one time years ago and then - - oops! -
- did it again when he returned for this show.
4.) The rumor and speculation among
fans the first time around amused Justin, so he did it again, on purpose, to
drive us nuts.
August 13, 2007
My general thoughts about "Mission:
Manband" are already public,
and I don't want to regurgitate that here. I will say that I love
having a public, televised, crossover event.
I used to get a thrill out of thinking of boy bands interacting, but then I would tell myself no, no, their lives don't overlap like that, they're not that concerned with each other, that's just media hype, that's just a fan wish. Apparently it's a mistake to underestimate the interaction you get when you're all under the same management, however, since AJ stole Rich's girlfriend, and Rich stole her from Chris. (Note to the universe: If you need a volunteer to be passed around among members of *NSYNC and Backstreet, choose me next time. Thanks.)
I'm still wondering why Rich (Cronin from LFO) would think that the 98 guys are snobs. The only partial clue would be Nick's ego, but it's not that bad, seriously, and that doesn't make him a snob.
July 25, 2007
Thanks, technology, for making me
panic. I just opened the folder that holds, you know, the entire
contents of this site...and it was empty. Zero objects to display.
Freaked me out. I closed everything, restarted the computer, tried
again...and, yes, thank you thank you thank you, everything was there.
If you need me, I'll be over here, sighing with relief. Because, dude. The entire site.
This would be why people recommend things like backing up your files?
Anyway, I just wanted to drop by to tell you that this Sunday is the anniversary of "Living," and that I plan to update "Sucker" on Monday, if all goes well.
(No, I don't actually mark "anniversary of 'Living'" on my calendar each year. But it does coincide with Diamond's birthday, which makes it easy to remember.)
June 25, 2007
Drew and Joey on tour together?
Y'all know that you need to see "Dancing with the Stars" on tour. How
often do we get a member of *NSYNC, a member of 98 Degrees, and a member of
the New Kids on tour together? Dancing together? Singing
together? You know you want it.
June 11, 2007
If you love Justin, watch the new
"True Hollywood Story" on the Mickey Mouse Club.
If you love JC, don't bother.
If you love Tony, watch it, tape it, and eat it with a spoon.
May 28, 2007
Yes, I love "Happily Never After."
You knew that I would.
I'm working on a short story that has to be finished and submitted by Friday, but it's begun to irritate me, so I'm posting S90 instead. After being away for weeks, I took time yesterday to attend a birthday party, so, yeah, I'm kind of behind in my writing. Then again, I'm always behind in my writing, so my definition of "behind" may need to change.
It was a fun party, though.
May 25, 2007
I'm back! I'll post S90 soon.
I LOVE BACKSTREET! I hope that Apolo Ohno's "Dancing with Joey" win
has taught us all something about the importance of voting. (Keep that
in mind next time there's an election near you.) And I'm sure that I
don't need to remind anyone that Justin's in Shrek 3.
April 28, 2007
S89 is up now, chock full of sucking
goodness. I'll try to get S90 to you when I get back at the end of
May. Fingers crossed. Feedback is always welcome, and I'd love
to hear from you, although since I'll be away for a month, posting to the
Mattpanel might
be more fun for you.
April 26, 2007
I love "Sucker." I really do.
I've finally had a chance to work on it, and I'm having the time of
my life over here. It's crazy-making fun, delving back into this world
again. Kevin is so hard-core and completely unapologetic about it; he
doesn't give a fuck what you think. Nick and Joey have Ashley jumping
through hoops even though he knows there's a rough landing on the other
side. AJ's snapping his fingers and making people jump. Jacob's
as much of a pompous, hypocritical ass as ever. I love it.
I really do plan to be able to post something before I leave town. (I'll be away for the bulk of May.) I'll try to post something after I get back, too.
Writing "In This Land" has me totally spoiled; it's all peace and light over there, all love and colors and rainbows. Like a slow-motion, spiritual orgy. Vade loves Bade, Bade loves Orinakin, Orinakin loves Selorin, Selorin loves Anosanim, Anosanim loves Talin, Talin loves Hitari... Kudorin loves everyone. Rini loves everyone, too, just in a more, um, physical way. Rini offers sex like he's offering a chocolate bar.
Now, it's true that sometimes "Sucker" is all about love and shiny colors, too. Especially when you're in Brian's head. Then again, Brian's insane.
There is, I will inform you, real and true love in "Sucker." Maybe where you suspect it is; maybe in less expected places. But it's there. And I can't wait to show it to you. (So frustrating to wait for the plot to catch up!)
Since we're all here talking about boys, I might as well say that Joey's totally going to win "Dancing with the Stars." It'll come down to him versus Apolo, who's definitely his biggest threat, but Joey can do it. Dude, with JC on your side, you can totally rule the world. (Hey, it works for Justin.)
April 7, 2007
I checked the Drewboard, and there
was a new reader there talking about "Sucker," and immediately my brain just
clicked on and I was right back in it, thinking about the guys and the game
and who's with whom and who's going to end up doing what, and it was like,
yes, this is it, this is what makes me feel alive. She brought up a
comparison of Brian as the mind and AJ as the body - - Brian uses his brain
to get to your brain, but AJ uses his body to get to your body. We've
seen that, over and over again, Brian saying things to Chris, to Justin, to
Ashley, versus AJ and Justin's physical connection, and AJ and Joey's sexual
connection, and whatever that was that AJ did to Dan.
Anyway, I want you to know that I want to be writing "Sucker," I'd love to be writing "Sucker." I'm going to be away for three weeks in May, so I'm spending April getting everything out of the way, and then I'll spend June catching back up from my absence. If I ever clear some space, if I ever get caught up, I'll work on "Sucker." I have some Brian/Jacob scenes to write, and some Erik scenes to rewrite. The funny thing is, the last time I sat down to write "Sucker," the guys were so impatient to move the plot forward after having sat still for so long, they were rushing everything! AJ just started telling all of Lance's secrets. I was like, whoa, whoa, wait, hold it, back up, it isn't time for that! These guys are chomping at the bit.
I've heard from two separate and entirely reputable sources that, when you go to see Justin Timberlake in concert, before the show starts, they play Nine Inch Nails' "Closer." Just a little "Living"/reality crossover.
February 24, 2007
I've had "Sucker" part 88 ready for a
while now, but I've been clinging to it like crazy because I don't have
anything after that finished. I have some scenes written, but since I
write them out of order, I can't post S89 or anything after that until I
finish up the entire 24-hour period and thread all of the storylines
together.
I really want to give you S88 (and the entire rest of the series), but I have so many other demands on my time, I can never get to "Sucker." And I hate that, because that's not fair to you, and I hate authors who leave a series hanging, but I keep turning into that person. We become that which we mock.
So I'll give you S88 now, because you deserve it, and I'll find time somewhere to work on S89 and the rest of it, and someday you'll forgive me.
January 8, 2007
It's 2007 and we're on part 85 of
"Sucker." I won't say that "Sucker" is slow, but it's intricate.
Also, I haven't posted weekly for a while now, which makes it seem like
things are moving plot-wise much more slowly than they actually are.
The plot isn't as slow as the molasses-style posting makes it seem.
I want to say thanks to Sasja and send good thoughts to Elizabeth K and congratulate Diamond and say okay, Brenhamella, I've posted that part I promised you. Oh, and I want to thank Steph, who's been really helpful and incredibly supportive.
January 1, 2007
Okay, I have way too much going on. Everything's too segmented - - two sites, two update lists, a MySpace page, a discussion group, the Drewboard - - I need one simple, central location where I can catch everything. I'm trying to write two series, write short stories, post here and talk there and chat and this and that and dude, there's just a lot.
So, I've opened a LiveJournal account. It won't replace Mattbrain or the Chatterbox - - I'll still use those places to post site-related blurbs - - but it will cover slash, original fiction, "Sucker," "In This Land," and me, my progress, my thoughts, my whatever-comes-up.
Also, I'm going to be available, off and on, back and forth, on Yahoo! IM as matthewhaldemantime. While it's up and running, I'll probably be busy writing, so I may not have time to say more than "hi." When I say "writing," I mean "typing with one hand and caressing my Brian pictures with the other." So you can see why I won't have a lot of time for lengthy discussions. But I'd still like to exchange greetings. (Join me in my attempt to interact with the world and still make a stab at getting some writing done.)
December 30, 2006
January 2nd is the Literary Nymphs chat. I've hosted my own chats before, but this isn't my crowd of my folks on my turf, so I'm not sure what to expect. I checked out some old messages from the old Literary Nymphs chats, and I talked to Steph, who's extremely cool and is another one of the authors starring in the upcoming chat, about how long excerpts should be, what sort of content to include, etc.
Sex-related excerpts are good, although you don't want to go all-out - - it's one of those situations where you want people to buy the cow so you don't give the milk away for free. So I have to flip through "In This Land" and the related short stories to decide which snippets to offer. "In This Land," though, takes place in a world of its own, so I have to be careful to give excerpts that don't depend on knowing five years' worth of back story and set-up. (For comparison, think about giving an excerpt of "Living" versus one from "Sucker." If you were dropped mid-scene into "Sucker," you'd be like, who are these people and why are they acting like this, whereas if you were dropped into "Living," you'd be like, aw, how cute, they can't stay out of each others' pants.)
The saving grace is that most sexual situations speak for themselves. You're flirting, you're aroused, you're on each other, it's not that hard to follow.
I'd like to give out prizes during the chat. What sorts of prizes, you ask? Free subscriptions to "In This Land." Show up, and you may be one of the lucky winners. Then you, too, will know what I'm rambling about when I start talking about Bade and Kudorin and Orinakin and Extra.
Actually, I can't talk about them much, if at all. I'm really hindered and boxed in by it, because there's a lot to discuss. But it's not really fair to the paying subscribers if I sit here and chatter about, for instance, which of the suitors is going home first, and why, and who might be next. Also, I don't want to give things away, because that might ruin some of the fun for people who haven't signed up yet - - where's the suspense in reading if you already know what happens?
Sigh.
Anyway, if you want to learn more about my original fiction, or about "In This Land," or about Stephanie Vaughan and Jet Mykles and Michael Barnette, join us for the chat on Tuesday.
December 17, 2006
I must give thanks, for you are excellent friends and readers, and I appreciate your help. Yes, I now have a copy of Justin's Victoria's Secret performances. He sings! He dances! His in-ear monitors are bright, bright red!
I also caught Justin's SNL performance last night. It was, of course, terrific, because Justin has been touched by the hand of God in ways that we can only imagine. The very first commercial informed us all that Alpha Dog premieres this January. Honestly, it's taken so many years, I'd given up all hope and resigned myself to the fact that it would never see the light of day - - even Edison Force made it onto DVD - - but now, it shall hit the big screen in only a few weeks. So, a huge round of applaud for Justin and his continued prosperity.
Thank you again for helping me out with the whole Victoria's Secret thing. At this point, it's just embarrassing to mention that I completely missed Drew's appearance on Tyra's show. Apparently, I need not only a more enlightened local CBS station, I also need a better reminder system.
I almost missed SNL, too; I was busy wrapping gifts for needy children. Literally. It's like I'm a good and generous person or something.
December 10, 2006
I know that you're all aching and
itching to know more about my original fiction, especially "In This Land."
Well, in only a few weeks, your questions will be answered!
On January 2nd, from 9-11 pm (Eastern Standard Time, which makes it 8-10 pm for me and probably 3-4 am for you) (and you know, I grew up in EST, but every TV commercial said that upcoming shows aired at "eight, seven central," so whenever I hear anything from EST I have to translate it in my head like, "Okay, if eight means seven central, then two means one," like I haven't lived here for years now and still haven't figured this out) I'll be one of the proud authors featured on a Literary Nymphs e-mail chat. (E-mail, yes, not chatroom, so don't show up in the chatroom, because you'll be utterly alone. E-mail makes it easier to keep people on-topic and leaves a record for people who couldn't make it during the official chat time. Also, it's easier to read chunks of fiction that way.) I'll be there with Stephanie Vaughan (who's been terrific to me), Jet Mykles, and Michael Barnette. We'll answer questions, post excerpts, and give away prizes.
So, go and join Literary Nymphs (literarynymphschat), and then come and hang out with us on January 2nd.
This chat is for authors and readers of original gay erotica, original m/m fiction, not slash. I'd love to host "Sucker" chats sometime next year, if at all possible. There's also the Mattpanel, and at what point did I lose my mind and completely miss the fact that there's no link to the Mattpanel anywhere on this site? Let's go correct that oversight, shall we? (Mattpanel explanation here; actual group here.)
December 5, 2006
Please help.
Tonight on CBS, Justin hosts the Victoria's Secret fashion show. He'll perform and everything.
What is CBS showing in my area? Not tall women in their underwear, no, that's unacceptable! Instead, we get, "Exploring the changing economy, with a look at the increase in knowledge-based jobs and advice on what parents can do to prepare their children for these positions."
Will you please tape Justin for me? I'll pay for the postage and the tape.
Justin will not bring sexy back to Arkansas tonight. Apparently, we'd prefer that he put it right back where he found it, and then wash his hands.
Edited to add: Thank you! I love you guys! You're the best.
December 3, 2006
The Kendig debate continues!
Brenhamella says that Kendig is a city.
Vanessa says that it's a city in
Luxembourg
ElizabethK clarifies her stance by
claiming that Kendig is a city on the border of Germany and the Netherlands.
Megan agrees that Kendig is a city.
(She also shares with us the information that Kendig is also the city in
"Loving Blind." I knew that I'd used it before, but I didn't know
where. See why I love you guys?)
Vanessa checked back in to say that
Kendig might also be in Estonia, Latvia, or maybe Denmark.
Sammymc agrees that Kendig is a city.
Her primary argument is that you talk about going to London and reminisce
about your time in Paris, more so than England and France. Also, if
it's where awards shows are held, it's an important enough location to be
mentioned without the country attached. Like Los Angeles or New York
City. She adds, "I always figured it was in a mid-European or
east-European country. For some reason I picture a place like Germany or
someplace like that."
Let's tally our votes! (I'm not counting my own vote.) Liz and Diamond say country. ElizabethK, Brenhamella, Vanessa, Megan, and Sammymc say city.
A city in which country? Luxembourg? Germany? The Netherlands? Denmark? Maybe we'll never know.
Abrupt subject change number one:
I don't want to make this an out-and-out promise, but I plan, I hope, I would like, to update "Sucker" regularly beginning in January. Maybe on Mondays. Fridays are "In This Land" days, and when I used to update on Mondays there were some positive responses about having something to look forward to at the beginning of each week.
Abrupt subject change number two:
DON'T PANIC! (Shaky breath.) Just, just, here, hold my hands, take my hands. (Several deep, calming breaths.) It'll be all right, it'll be okay. I had all of my Backstreet CD's in a box. Not their normal residence, but things were going on, and I collected them all in there together. Not Never Gone, no, not those, but...the rest. Yes, yes, all of them! (Pause; shaky breaths.) The box is missing. It's gone, and I can't find it. It has to be in the house, it has to be in here somewhere, it never could have left the premises. I'll find it, it must be somewhere in here. It's just that I've looked everywhere, I had help, we searched the house, and I can't find it. And you know, you know, how many CD's were in there, and how precious they are to me, and how sacred they are in my heart. And I don't know how this happened, and I don't know where they are, and I'm sure that as soon as I find them I'll feel stupid for ever having doubted in the first place. It's just... They're Backstreet. Not just one CD, not a couple, not a few. All of them.
The house isn't that big, people. WHERE ARE THEY?!
December 2, 2006
ElizabethK says that Kendig is a city, too. Ha! Take that! A city in which European country, I have no idea. But it's a city.
I hope that it's a city we don't visit in "Sucker." That would taint things. They're about to take trips to Vegas and, later, London, but we may have to leave Kendig off of their itinerary.
December 1, 2006
Diamond thinks that Kendig is a
country, too. Apparently, since I said that it's a place in Europe,
the human brain naturally interprets that to mean one of the sub-sections of
Europe, meaning, a country. So, Diamond says country; I say city; we
both agree that it's a place that we'd love to visit. Wouldn't you
love to take a trip to Kendig? I'd have to stay in that hotel.
There's a strange substance on my favorite shirt. It looks like white paint, only I haven't been near white paint in a very long time. It's my favorite shirt! Now I need a new shirt. White paint? I'm baffled!
November 30, 2006
These headphones are broken. Why would I say such a negative thing? Because they either give me no sound whatsoever, extremely faint sound, or background only with vocal tracks from a very long tunnel. The loss of my headphones saddens me, because they've been with me for several years now, and they have a very nice long cord. Long cords are special.
Liz asked me where I got the name Kendig. (Is that a city or a country? I thought that it was a city, but she thinks that it's a country. Did I ever make the distinction? Do you remember?) Kendig, as a place, predates "Living" - - I used it years before I ever sent the Boys there. I used to get proper nouns for my fiction from my classmates' names, and I remember using "Jostens" a few times; Jostens is the company that makes class rings. (Mine has a red stone. Class of '97.) But Kendig, I just made up out of nowhere. I believe that I used to use it for last names, and as a random city/town name.
If you'd like to save the world, feel free to begin here. Right-clicking to light a candle and make someone else donate a dollar is great, and all, but we can do a lot more to fight AIDS than that.
Someone asked me recently if I had a blog, and I really had no idea what to say. Do I have a blog? I have Mattbrain. I have the Chatterbox. I kind of have a MySpace page, and kind of don't. I have a fantastic - - no, seriously, awesome - - idea for a LiveJournal account that I cannot wait to open. (Look for it in 2007, if we're all lucky.) But do I really have a blog? Technically, if a blog is a weblog, where one writes down thoughts/feelings/ideas/opinions/nonsense, then, yes. I have two. Do I have an account with a formally recognized blogspace, then, yes, I have one. But that's not really mine, that's Rini's. And Mattbrain and the Chatterbox aren't really blogs, they're just places where I talk to you guys when there's something that I want to communicate.
I'm trying really hard right now not to ramble about my plans for 2007. It's going to be awesome. And now I'm writing and deleting chatter about the upcoming parts of "Sucker" and the truths that someone will reveal. Catch the next few updates. Good stuff ahead. (One of the revelations, I've known about since the beginning. The other one, I was like, WHAT?!)
November 25, 2006
Well, I've hit a wall with the "Wannabes." Something happens in the next deleted scene that won't occur in "Sucker" until a future part, and I can't post the "Wannabe" until I've posted that part, so, no more deleted scenes for you until then.
What is this nasty smear across my monitor, and why won't it come off?
I'll try to get a "Sucker" update to you next Sunday. The last time I had a chance to work on "Sucker," I got a lot accomplished, but I also hit some major scenes that need a lot of revisions, so I don't have as much ready to post as I'd like. Still, I should be able to put up something.
November 23, 2006
Passing this along: As World AIDS
Day approaches (Dec. 1), we are reminded that millions of people need our
help with the AIDS pandemic, but we often think, "What can I do?"
Here is one simple way you can help,
and it costs you nothing but a moment and a mouse click.
Bristol Myers Squibb will donate $1
for every person who goes to their web site and lights a candle to fight
AIDS, up to a max of $100,000 (chump change for them, but we'll take it). At
this point, the counter is just over 61,000... so we need many more candles
lit.
Please go to this link to light a
candle... and help spread the light. https://www.
November 21, 2006
I really want to thank you guys, because you've been incredibly supportive. People have told me that they're not really into fantasy, or they're not into gay erotica beyond slash, but they took the plunge and read "In This Land" anyway, and they really, truly enjoy it. It means a lot to me that you have enough faith to give my original fiction a chance. I know how easy it is to get locked into one genre - - in slash, it's easy to get locked into one pairing - - but thank you for believing in me enough to step out of that box and try something new.
I've decided, since there's so much back-and-forth between my readers here and my readers on the other site, to post some more of my original fiction here. There's a lot more of it over at the other site - - more recent stories - - but I thought, why not put some of it here? They're both my sites, and there's no reason why they can't share. Click here for what I've added to this site, and here for the full story listing.
November 19, 2006
My new mailing address is:
Matthew Haldeman-Time
P.O. Box 166718
Little Rock, AR 72206
November 14, 2006
Is "House of Carters" about to be over? Are they almost finished? I'm not ready! They're not ready!
An excellent person e-mailed me with a terrific idea for my other site, and she mentioned Nano. I was like, what's Nano? She was like, "National Novel Writing Month." There's a website and everything. Apparently, November is the month where everyone sits down and writes a novel. 50,000 words. Out of curiosity, I checked, and that would be, roughly, five parts of early "Sucker," or five parts of early "Living." I've been writing a novel a month for years now, and just didn't know it.
November 9, 2006
I have to thank all of you who've subscribed to "In This Land." I know that I've thanked you before, but I have to do it again. It really means a lot to me that you enjoy the series, that you believe in me, and that you support my dream. This Saturday, Sweet Uncleanness will be six years old, and over the years I've had a lot of readers show a lot of love. Thank you. Your support means everything to me. You've given me the courage and the strength to believe in myself and to strive for what used to be impossible goals. Thank you.
Every subscription helps, and I truly appreciate everyone who signs up.
And! I almost forgot! Happy birthday to Nick Lachey.
November 5, 2006
Dude, she called me Anomatthew. And then she called me "son of Alanohi." I've never been called the son of a god before, and I've never been included in one of my worlds like that, and you, ma'am, are awesome. (http://www.myspace.com/inthisland)
It's feedback like that, hearing everyone's enthusiasm for "In This Land," that really makes me believe that this project really will work. And it totally can. If all of my readers sign up, I'll be well on my way to writing full-time.
The subscription service is going really well, and I'm getting more and more traffic. Even with the increase in visitors, obviously everyone isn't signing up. I'm curious about what's keeping readers from subscribing to "In This Land." If you have questions or concerns that I can help you with, e-mail me and let me know. (matthew@matthewtime.com)
I've opened up a new Drewboard forum for "In This Land." You can post feedback there, comments, questions, anything. Talk about your favorite character or gush over Diamond's graphics.
I want to thank the people who've offered donations, because you're wonderfully generous and your support has been amazing.
And, dude? Subscribing twice? The hotness.
November 1, 2006
Looking for something to read?
The home page for "In This Land" is here.
The introduction is here.
The series begins here.
The free short story is here.
If you subscribe, you'll get another short story right away and the next installment of the series on Friday.
Also, Rini's MySpace page is here.
A terrific place to start is actually right here.
October 31, 2006
Tomorrow's the big launch! You guys ready? I'm nervous. November 1st came awfully quickly this year.
Have you checked out the preliminary material? Click the banner above or go to http://www.matthewhaldemantime.com/inthisland.html.
I'm trying to get everything ready. Formatting, double-checking, re-reading.
Do me a favor and go to the Chatterbox. I said some things in today's post that I want to say here, but I don't want to repeat myself.
I was talking to someone today, and I realized that "In This Land" is a good companion to "Sucker." There isn't enough love in "Sucker," there isn't enough happiness and brightness - - it's somewhere you want to visit, not somewhere you want to live. I mean, I love "Sucker," and I'm looking forward to having the time to write more of it once "In This Land" goes well, but I miss good, happy love. You know that I'm romantic; you've read "Living." "In This Land" gives me the chance to explore love again, and I'm really excited about that.
October 28, 2006
I'm being tested. Last night,
my Internet connection decided to shun me. This morning, it worked
briefly, but now it's out again. I'm not sure when I'll actually get
to share this post.
Nice, that this is happening just in time for the promotion of the upcoming launch.
I shall persevere.
October 26, 2006
For those of you who have questions about "In This Land," check in with the Chatterbox over at matthewhaldemantime.com for more updates. Since that's the site where "In This Land" will live, that's where I'll talk more about it.
Thanks for all of your support! You guys are terrific.
Remind me to tell you about my plan for "Deal or No Deal." (It's not slash-related, it's just further proof of my genius.)
October 25, 2006
I'm twenty-eight now, and this site turns six next month. Six years. Dude.
I went to Nick Lachey's concert on Saturday. For weeks (months) I'd thought that the show was in St. Louis, but the night beforehand I looked up directions on-line and figured out, hey, it's in Nashville. Which, for those of you who don't know, is in a different state and, in fact, a different direction. It was a bit of a struggle to get the time off from work, but, hey, I'm not going to miss a concert.
Nick Lachey is, of course, still hot. He still breathes to the left and he kicks out with his right foot a lot. Still a strong singer. He stripped down to a tank top, briefly - - far, far too briefly - - and yes, he looked fantastic. His smile still gets to me, in some weird crush-you'll-never-get-over way. He went into the audience to sing a song about "I'll be your slave/I'll be your master" to a fan. He also had a predetermined group of girls come onstage to stand in a box together. I was waiting for Lance to come out and hand them money.
I've been busy working overtime at that whole job thing and trying to get ready to launch "In This Land" on the other site. Diamond's arranging layouts and establishing the whole payment system, and I'm writing. The better all of that goes, the better things will go on this site, as well, so wish me luck! Or, even better, subscribe to "In This Land" and enjoy yourself.
October 16, 2006
I'm going update "Sucker" soon, really. I started to prep for it last week, and then got all turned around by, you know, life, reality, etc.
It's weird - - writing "Sucker," I have to deal with the fact that the characters' mindsets and opinions aren't my own. I try to be mature about Erik's homophobia (and hypocrisy), but it's weird to write some of his thoughts and perceptions. Not solely because I disagree with them (which I do), but also because it's a sensitive issue for me.
The new series on the other site (http://www.matthewhaldemantime.com) will be called "In This Land." It's about eight brothers. They get laid, they fall in love, they hang out, they meet cute guys, it's all good stuff. And it just now occurred to me that if there are eight brothers, and each one of them has a major hook-up, that's sixteen characters, which is one more than "Sucker" and two more than "Living." Wow. Is that a coincidence, or is my subconscious out to get me?
October 11, 2006
And, I'm back.
I managed to snatch a half-hour of TV on Monday, and I saw NickTV. It was both awesome and terrific. Tons of beautiful Nick. I love this show's soundtrack, because they play Backstreet songs, and all of a sudden "Larger Than Life" started up, and, dude, that song rocks and energizes me. Also, they totally totally totally showed AJ and Howie, which WOW. Brian was a blur in the corner and I loved him. AJ's hair is all thick and curly, and who doesn't love Howie? There was great Nick/Aaron interaction, good brotherly stuff, including the touching I missed in the first episode. Nick gives good advice; I totally wouldn't have invited Wes back over to talk to BJ, but it turned out to be completely the right thing to do, and I'm super proud of Nick.
I was worried that the whole series would be as chaotic as the first episode, but my fear was unfounded. This series rocks. I love Nick. And Aaron. Come on, seriously, you didn't want to touch his hair? Really? Watch it again.
I'm going to see the other Nick in concert later, but other than that, I shouldn't go anywhere else for a while.
The AIDS walk is coming up this weekend, so give the cause (and Lance) some support.
Okay, so here's the thing. My life has become a battle of sorts, a tug-of-war between my job and my writing. Obviously I require a job, because I need a source of income, but it sucks up all of my time. My time is writing time, which is your time - - the time that my job takes away from me is the time that I'd rather use writing slash, writing "Sucker," writing "Slices," writing fiction, writing novels, writing anything. I need a way to be able to write and get paid at the same time.
This is where it gets tricky. I don't want to get paid for what I write here. I don't believe in selling slash. I won't do it. Which leaves the other site, matthewhaldemantime.com. I had a plan to write and sell novels, and I'd love to do more of that, but if you know me, then you know that my thing is serials. Think "Living." Think "Sucker." That's what I love, to create a world and immerse myself in it, to start with a cast of characters and then get to know them, explore their lives, examine their relationships, make them fall in and out of love five times, and then add a new character and see what happens. There's nothing I enjoy writing more than all-male, all-gay soap operas.
I'm going to start one, at over matthewhaldemantime.com. If you'd like to share in the fun and read along, there will be a monthly fee of $1.99. For under two dollars a month, you get to read my new saga. I'll tell you more about it as the launch date closes in. Check this page and the Chatterbox (matthewhaldemantime.com/chatterbox.html) for more.
When this goes well, I'll be able to leave my job and write full-time. Which means more fiction over there, more slash over here, more novels, more "Sucker," more "Slices," more writing everywhere. I would love to write full-time; it's been my constant dream. I would love to flood both sites with fiction, to give you something new to read every day. I have terrific ideas for new stories, tons of them, I just haven't had the time. I haven't had enough time to write for too many years now. I need to do this. With your help and generosity, it'll happen.
You guys don't even know how much this will mean to me.
October 4, 2006
I'm packing up to go, and I'll be gone until the middle of next week. I'd hoped to give you another "Sucker" installment, but I'll put it up when I get back. Keep watching NickTV, and cross your fingers in hopes that I'll be able to catch it this Monday. ("House of Carters" on E!, each episode debuts on Monday but repeats throughout the week, watch it and love Nick forever. Also, it's okay if you want to stare at Aaron's often-naked body, because he's eighteen now, and if he's going to be half-undressed all of the time, we can look sometimes.)
On Sunday, E! debuted the first half hour of Monday's hour-long first episode, apparently as a teaser. I discovered just before the show aired on Sunday evening that E! had black streaks and lines across it, and that was unacceptable because nothing may interfere with a clear view of the glory that is Nick Carter, so the cable company was called. Monday morning, a repairman came out to the house, and he said that my TV was the only one with this problem. It was only happening to two channels, one of which was E!, it began on the night before Nick's big debut, and it was only happening to me. It's kind of hard not to take these things personally. Fortunately, the power of Backstreet prevailed, because after the repairman fiddled around with things and visited his truck numerous times, E! magically healed itself. The repairman said that he didn't fix it, which can mean only one thing: yes, the strength of my love for Nick and Backstreet really can heal the world.
The funny thing is that another shipment of Off the Record has been ordered, and it'll arrive, once again, while I'm out of town.
Everyone sing birthday songs to Kevin, whom we all love, and support, and miss, very, very much. I want to put up some Kevin banners, but I'm running out of space around here! (Does anyone else totally see glimpses of Kevin "Big Guns" Richardson when Nick argues with Aaron?) (We've decided to call him Kevin "Big Guns" Richardson because K-Rich makes me nauseous. Also, the man's arms are huge.)
Oh, would someone please whack me over the head if, when I get back, I don't manage to shift around my e-mail accounts so that new banners actually get to me?
Now I'm sitting here playing with Kevin banners, and I don't have time for this! Good-bye!
Must go now, to pack and such, but when I get return, I'll let you all know what's up with my latest big project. When it goes well (not if, when), it'll mean more "Sucker" and more slash for you, so, good times.
September 27, 2006
I've been compiling a "Sucker" soundtrack for ages now, and haven't managed to post it yet. Megan and Tara, however, are on top of things, and they've - - what can I call it? - - remixed a song. Take Backstreet's "Don't Want You Back" and edit it, "Sucker"-style, and here you go: "Just Want You Back," written by Tara, Megan, and Max Martin, performed by *NSYNC on the "Sucker" soundtrack.
Just, just want you back
You hit me faster than a shark attack
You saw my picture on No Strings Attached, all right
And you were more than just a pretty face
But how you fooled me, I'm still amazed babe
But I should have known that I would be
Another victim of your sexuality
But now we're done and over with
Just, just want you back
Just want you back
Though you're no good for me, I know
That's all I can say
Just want you back
Forgive my honesty but you gotta know
I just want you back
You started going out with so-called friends
But I was blind and so I lost all common sense
But there were things that made me realize, realize
Like all the hundred no,
thousand lies
Just want you back
Though you're no good for me, I know
That's all I can say
Just want you back
Forgive my honesty but you gotta know
I just want you back
Baby, don't bother telling me your reasons why
Just let us sing this story 'bout you and I
Just want you back
That's all I know (just want you back, just want you back)
All I can say
Just want you back
You know I love you so...
Just want you back
Though you're no good for me, I know
That's all I can say
Just want you back
Forgive my honesty but you gotta know
I just want you back
Just want you back
That's all I know (just want you back, just want you back)
All I can say
Just want you back
You know I love you so...
Just want you back
September 25, 2006
First thing this morning before work, I watched the first episode of "House of Carters." I'm going to have to watch it many more times. Too much to take in; too much to process. See it yourself at eonline.com.
(As I requested before, please don't talk to me about the show.)
September 22, 2006
I have returned.
Does anyone know what happened to the
back of Justin Timberlake's head? There's a tiny white patch where hair
doesn't grow. It's noticeable in MTV's "Most Ultimate Moments" and his
recent TRL visit when he's looking out the window.
"House of Carters" premieres on
Monday, October 2nd. The first episode will be
available on-line this Monday and all next week. There's
Carter footage up now, interviews and a brief house tour and such; go to
eonline.com, click on "The Vine," and when that window opens click on "House
of Carters." You'll see Nick being all big brotherly. (I love
seeing him be the grown, mature one.) You'll also see Aaron being a
surprisingly efficient dog trainer, and you'll hear about him licking
popcorn bags. After you watch the clips, let me know whether you think
Nick's biting Aaron or kissing him; I can't tell.
To make this Monday even more special, JC's first single will debut on AOL's
First Listen.
Because I'm uninformed like that, I
had no idea that Long Way Round existed, until I accidentally
stumbled across it a few weeks ago. So I've rented the first disc, which has
the first three episodes, and now I'm watching Ewan McGregor and Charley
Boorman ride motorcycles around the world. I'm in the middle of the third
episode, so we're somewhere in Kazakhstan, and Ewan keeps doing and saying
things that only make me admire him more, like when he gets all humble and
wonders why he'd really thought that it was okay to get bikes for free, when
most people on reality shows, from what I've seen, would've been throwing a
temper tantrum or panicking and not even questioning the validity of the
demand in the first place. Twice now he's had petrol sprayed into his eyes -
- the first time, I was only saved from utter fear because I knew that he'd
be okay, but the second time, I was like, yes, I'm concerned for you, but
didn't you learn after the first time? After the first time you did
something and then risked complete blindness, wouldn't you not put yourself
in that position again?
Anyway, although the show's
completely unmastered and in desperate need of subtitles, Ewan's excellent
as always, and I got to see his butt and his smiles and his pretty blue
eyes, so, good times.
Although Logo isn't available in my
area, the cable people do let you view certain episodes of certain shows, I
guess to make you want what you can't have. So I've seen "Noah's Arc" and
"The U.S. of Ant" and "Can't Get a Date" and "Laughing Matters." I like the
channel's overall attitude, and I like the positive energy, and I like the
Subaru commercials. (I'd like even more to see them on other channels.)
"Noah's Arc" doesn't have the same quality of production, writing, and
acting that "QAF" had (that being the most obvious comparison), but the lead
actor is really nice to stare at, so there's always that.
When are we going to see a male on
"America's Next Top Model?" Why does it always have to be women? Are men not
trying out, or are they trying out yet just not good enough, or are they not
allowed to compete, or what? I would love to see a guy in there. Someone
round up some aspiring male models for next season.
I'm here now, but on October 4th I'm
off to a different undisclosed location; I'll be back sometime the following
week, which means that while I'm gone I'll have to find a way to get an
uninterrupted block of time with a TV to catch the second episode of "House
of Carters," because there's no way that I'm going to miss that. Then, once
I come home from trip #2, I'm going off again to see Nick Lachey's concert.
Just call me a travelin' fool, yo.
September 8, 2006
More context for yesterday's post:
As it turns out, Justin held a VMA after-party at the Roseland Ballroom on the 31st, where he had a club show and invited JC to perform. Go Justin!
September 7, 2006
From August 31, in New York City's Roseland Ballroom, there's a video of JC performing "Until Yesterday." You can catch several versions of it on YouTube; Diamond says that AngelQ's is the best. JC does typical JC moves, and he's wearing tight pants, and there are a bunch of details that you just have to watch it to see. The sound is terrible, so don't watch it for the music; watch it for JC/Justin, because Justin's playing and singing back-up. Yes, seriously. At the end, JC bows to him, and they hug. JC/Justin 2006, baby! Yeah!
September 6, 2006
Dan and Jeff love me. The concert has been postponed. It's unfortunate for them, which I regret, but as one man's bad thing is another man's good thing (wow, that saying has completely slipped my mind), I'm excited that I'll have a chance to see their show. I am confident that the rescheduled date will fall during a time when I'll be in the state.
I'm working overtime hours again, and I'll be away for a week, so my in-box is a bit crowded. Sorry about that. I'll try to wade through it when I get back.
September 2, 2006
You know that I love the guys. I'm all about them. It makes me really protective and oversensitive.
We're about to see Nick on TV on a weekly basis. That makes me nervous, because I love Nick and (in a freaked-out, overeager, I can't believe that this is happening kind of way) I'm looking forward to seeing "House of Carters," but I don't necessarily want the rest of the world to see it. Because we've seen reality TV, we know how it goes, and I don't want people to start talking about Nick without going through me first because I don't know what they're going to say, and I don't trust them to say the right things.
I'm going to watch every episode, I'm going to tape every episode, and I'm going to memorize every episode. And I'll probably do plenty of excited chattering about it.
But I'm not going to read reviews. I'm not going to check for commentary. I plan to censor and limit whatever Nick-related input reaches my brain, because whenever I read/hear one stray comment, it rotates around in my brain and I pick over it obsessively and I drive myself nuts. It's not healthy. So, to cut that behavior off before it starts, I'm going to ask you for a favor.
If you want to twitter and chatter and discuss "House of Carters," please do it, but be careful how you do it around me. If you want to say, "Man, I saw last night's show, and Nick is hot! I love Nick! Aaron's cool! Did you see those pants Nick had on? Did you see his expression? Isn't he The Best Thing Ever?!" then yes, go ahead, please feel free to share it with me. But anything that's not flat-out 100% positive will be censored. I'm going to let you know right now that I'll delete e-mail, I'll delete Drewboard comments, and I'll delete Mattpanel posts. I love Nick, and that makes me very protective, and I'm not going to spend emotional energy scrubbing things clean after dirty fingerprints have been left all over by people mishandling someone I love.
Really, you have the entire Internet to talk about whatever you want to talk about. And you're still free to talk to me. Yes, I'm asking for you to come to me when you're positive and upbeat, and not when you're cynical and rude, but that's pretty basic, anyway.
Let's be honest. Everything that comes out of my mouth isn't 100% flattering. There are a few things that I've said in public that I wish that I could take back, things that I regret; about 95% of the less-than-absolutely-flattering thoughts that run through my head are voiced only in specific and private circumstances to specific and trusted people. Yes, on occasion, on this site, I've tied Justin Timberlake up and whipped him. But that isn't The Real Justin Timberlake, that's "Sucker" Justin (also, if it offends people, then they're free not to read those stories). This is The Real Nick Carter under discussion, and no one comes into my world (my e-mail, my board, my panel) dropping snide comments. It's about respect.
I'm saying all of this now, and I'm not soft-pedaling it, because I want to be clear. I'd rather injure feelings now than have anyone be confused and hurt later.
I don't have the most delicate little feelings in all of the world. But I do have the right to determine the content of my own message board, especially since I pay for it. I wouldn't let you walk into my house and snicker negatively over any of the guys. At a few concerts, I've had to stop myself from losing it and punching people out. I've had to roll down on Diamond over a comment about Jeff. I don't take negative remarks lightly.
If you think that I take things too seriously, that's fine. Just understand that, yeah, I do take things seriously, and keep that in mind when you talk to me.
August 30, 2006
Yes, I will see Nick Lachey in concert this October, but I don't have tickets to see Justin Timberlake's current tour. Nick's coming much closer than Justin is, so I can get to him. I did see Justin several times on his last tour (when he headlined with Christina), and since I assume that he'll have a major tour after his album release, I look forward to getting to see him then.
Someone else just e-mailed me and admitted to living in Arkansas. Cool. See, Arkansas is a hip, happenin' place, y'all.
You really should go see Jeff and Dan. (A simple way to get tickets is to go to ticketmaster.com and search for "Barton Coliseum," which is the venue. It's the September 9th show with PM Dawn.) You guys aren't doing anything interesting that day, anyway, so why not show up and cheer wildly and make Jeff feel good about himself?
If you go, please make my day and e-mail me about it. You can give me a detailed run-down of your entire experience, or just say, "I went." I just want to know that someone was there to rock out and represent.
August 26, 2006
Because I already wasn't upset enough, the universe decided to betray me once again. You know how Dan's coming to Arkansas (also known as The Least-Visited State in the Lower 48, which may not be 100% true but does have the benefit of a nice kind of rhyme to it) on the day that I leave for parts unspecified (because I haven't decided to tell y'all where I'm going, although it's oddly tempting because I know that some of you live around there)? Well, guess who else is going to be at The Concert That Thwarted Matthew? That's right, Jeff. Jeff Timmons.
Please excuse me while I go and throw a wild fit.
JEFF! Jeff Jeff Jeff Jeff Jeff. JEFF. Did I not
just spend, oh, five years of my life writing an ode to Jeff? (Okay,
it was technically more of an ode to Drew, but Jeff was in there, too.)
I love Jeff. When's the last time that Jeff came to Arkansas?
Now, I do consider myself very, very fortunate to have seen 98 in concert
back in 2001, and I realize that many other people did not have that same
terrific experience, so I don't discount that. But now Jeff's coming
to Arkansas! On the day that I'm leaving the state!
I'm going to miss Jeff and Dan! Dan and Jeff!
Seriously, you guys have to go for me. You have to go and support them and cheer for them and then hunt them down and tell them how much I love them. Get an autograph. (For yourself, sure, whatever, but get one for me, too.) It's Dan and it's Jeff! I really, really do love Jeff and I think that his album's great and I can't believe that I'm going to miss this!
I don't know what I've done to deserve this. Other than, you know, create this site.
August 25, 2006
MTV. Music television. Ah, the irony.
I saw Justin's half-hour interview with John Norris. John asked him about Janet, about Britney, about half-a-dozen other things. Oh, and music. Then MTV directed me to visit their web content for more of the interview. When I went on-line, MTV offered me more clips, and, guess what? They were about music. About Justin's album. Imagine, an artist discussing his music, in more than surface terms, in an actual interview. But MTV was right not to air it; that sort of thing wouldn't belong on a music television channel.
(I shall be strong and only mention, but not discuss further, the bad setting, the horrible shots and weird camera angles, and the fact that John seemed strangely amateurish and in over his head - - strange because he's been doing this for a long time now, and Justin's hardly a difficult interview.)
In other news, it turns out that there's a novel by E.M. Forster called Maurice that was censored or hidden or something for a number of years. (Please forgive my utter lack of details.) I've read Forster's work before, although apparently not with any kind of context, because I thought that he was a woman. Anyway, I've never read the book, because I didn't know that it existed, but the other day someone showed me the movie. (Made in the eighties, it stars James Wilby and Hugh Grant and a bunch of other people like Ben Kingsley.) According to the special features (and I'd recommend that if you see the film, you watch the deleted scenes, because they really add a lot), the movie's different enough from the book that I think that I might prefer the movie overall. Although, not having read the book, I can't be sure. (It's taken years of maturation to be able to suggest that I'd prefer a movie to a book; I was so committed to the idea that all books are better than their movie adaptations, I wrote a twenty-five page paper on the subject in college.)
Anyway, the movie's set in Edwardian England, around 1910 and after, and a middle-class guy (Maurice) meets an upper-class guy (Clive) in college, and Clive says, "I love you," and Maurice says, "That's rubbish," and then a scene or so later Maurice is in love with Clive right back, and then Maurice tries to get some but Clive says that they should remain platonic. So they spend a few years being in love but just being friends, and there's back-and-forth tension, and then one of their old friends is arrested and jailed for trying to pick up a guy, with weird lines about corrupting one's inferiors.
The first half of the movie's slow, and it gave me plenty of time to start dreading the ending. Because hello, let's face it, if you watch a movie about gay people, someone's going to end up dead, or at least horribly alone. So we started taking bets on whether Maurice or Clive would be the corpse.
Clive (after, according to the deleted scenes, climbing into bed with Maurice and then climbing right back out again, because he wanted me to loathe his character), goes off to Greece, then comes back and breaks up with Maurice and gets married to a woman. Maurice pays them a visit.
Enter Alec.
Alec was in a much earlier scene, and the second I saw him I knew that he'd play a major role in the plot later, because intelligent directors don't pay that much attention to someone we're never going to see again. Alec is Clive's under gamekeeper, and he has a crush on Maurice. He seduces Maurice, and they go back and forth about things, and Alec's supposed to leave for Argentina but he stays, and Maurice officially dumps Clive for good and is in love with Alec and we're all happy and fade to black.
A happy ending. A happy ending! Maurice was brave, he found love, he overcame incredible and pervasive homophobia, he overcame class issues, he pushed for his own personal fulfillment and satisfaction and wouldn't settle for less - - the whole ending was perfect. He totally ditched Clive, who kept trying to convince him that homosexuality is wrong and, if ever acknowledged at all, should be confined to a pure and platonic friendship.
I was thrilled.
Now I have to decide whether or not to read the book. I think that I'd like to, out of curiosity, even if it doesn't give me the same satisfaction as the movie.
It was a romance. The main characters didn't have to die off, or be separated, or end up miserable and alone, or be outed and humiliated. They were brave enough to acknowledge what they needed and go after what they wanted. Hooray!
And I have no idea how to play cricket.
Edited to add:
I'm not saying that Maurice is the greatest film of all time. But how many movies about gay men have you seen where: a.) one of them dies b.) one of them is attacked/humiliated c.) they don't end up together d.) their actual sex lives are hinted at/suggested but not really explored (you never see them in the same bed, naked, on top of each other)?
Two final comments:
1.) Apparently, "Maurice" is pronounced "Morris" in Edwardian England.
2.) Now that I've finally found a gay drama with a happy, romantic ending, let's find more. If anyone has any recommendations, go ahead and post them on the Drewboard for all to see. (Recommendations regarding lesbian movies are welcome. And bisexual movies. And transgender movies.) http://p090.ezboard.com/bmattslash
August 21, 2006
I love my gay cosmonaut.
Okay, how stupid is this? I used to live in Pennsylvania. All tours go to Pennsylvania. All artists play in Pennsylvania. All over Pennsylvania, and in nearby states; if you live in Pennsylvania, you have the immediate hook-up.
I moved to Arkansas. No one comes to Arkansas. When I go to concerts, I drive out of state, usually about eight hours.
Dan is coming to Arkansas. Dan Miller. The best part is, Dan isn't exactly, for example, Justin Timberlake, so you can assume that if I tried really hard, I could maybe find a way to run into him.
The stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid part? I'm going to be out of state. I'm never out of state, but the day Dan's performing, I'm going to be elsewhere. And I can't reschedule.
I'm going to miss Dan! He's coming and I won't be here!
STUPID STUPID STUPID STUPID STUPID!
If anyone sees him, tell him that I love him and it pains me to miss him.
I love me some Dan.
August 15, 2006
Oh! Oh! Real-life "Sucker" moment! Diamond's been posting her Lance/AIDS Walk banner (scroll down) on various MySpace blogs. (It's working; even people who'd already seen Lance's original post have donated money specifically after seeing her banner. Post it! Everywhere!) She's posted on everyone's blog, particularly those belonging to boy band members, from Brian Littrell to Jordan Knight. She's especially targeted Justin's, because of its high traffic, although she can't post on JC's because his doesn't allow HTML. She's posted several times on Jacob's, and each time, it's been deleted. Jacob's Loc deletes posts encouraging support of Lance in the AIDS Walk. Why does Jacob hate the Basstronaut?
banner by Brenhamella
Now, I wouldn't want to, you know, harass Jacob or anything. But if you guys wanted to go and post Diamond's banner on various places around the Net including Jacob's blog, well, I wouldn't stop you. (If you do, please don't be rude. Be polite. Friendly, even.)
The banner and accompanying HTML are below. Jacob's MySpace account is at myspace.com/jacobsloc.
Jacob has the right to host whatever content he chooses on his own site. I don't even know who officially runs the blog or deletes posts. But I think that it would be terrible if Jacob didn't get a chance to see how much we all love Lance and respect Lance's support of a worthy cause.
Edited to add:
You would think that, because it's an AIDS walk, of all things, Jacob would have no problem with it. However, this is the same person who gave the following interview:
When asked if they would have joined Lance on his dream trip to the International Space Station (ISS), Jacob replied, "No way. I wouldn't go because Lance isn't cool and I like hanging out with cool people.
"Just look at him. The hair, the clothes, it's a package deal.
"I've met him and you wouldn't want to hang out with him. There's no way I'd go to the moon with him."
Lack perspective, much? That's what makes me wonder if the posts are being deleted because:
a.) they're generally off-topic, since that never happens on MySpace
b.) they're for an AIDS walk, and Jacob doesn't prefer to encourage support of disease education/eradication
c.) Jacob hates Lance
Maybe a combination of the above? Maybe Jacob (or whoever's deleting posts) simply doesn't understand the posts. Maybe someone should make more of them, with cheery explanations.
August 14, 2006
Looks like I totally missed Ashley's birthday. Oops. And I just put up some Howie banners, early.
I have about, oh, 15 e-mail addresses, most of them forwarded from one account to another. Certain addresses I check more than others, and some I think are dead but turn out not to be. I just checked an old account, and realized that messages I thought were forwarded to account A were forwarded to account B, so I'd never seen them. My apologies to those of you who were lost in the shuffle. It's like someone's been calling me all year but the ringer was off and I never knew.
I'm trying to sort things out now, but a whole lot's been lost, and I may be on the verge of closing certain accounts. Your best bet is to write to matthew@matthewtime.com.
I said, "I've met Brian," and all of a sudden everyone clamored for details. And I respect that, because yes, it's huge, because it's Brian. And we all know that BRIAN is the center of the universe, the pinnacle, the summit and sum of all things. He is the boy band member above all boy band members and no other boy band members shall come before him, though I love them dearly.
I'll try to address some of the questions y'all have posed. Because, as Vanessa expressed it, "You can't meet Brian and just let it be that. It's Brian. Littrell, no less. Not just any old Brian. Pixie. Our Pixie. Nick's Pixie."
He had on jeans and a green Doors T-shirt. He had a goatee (light scruff above the lip, below the lip, and on the chin) and gorgeous, gorgeous sideburns. His eyes were blue and he had sexy biceps. He sounded country. He looked amazing. He mentioned that he met his wife 4 days before shooting the video for "Backstreet's Back." I have pictures of him, not with him. He was there with Tim Miller and (to my surprise) no relatives.
(Tim Miller is the sound guy you've seen a hundred times in *NSYNC tour footage. He does not know that he's a celebrity and doesn't know how to react when approached by fans, or so I've learned. He says that he's, "With Brian now," whatever that may mean. I'd love to be, "With Brian now," myself.)
And now, on to Lance news. Lance is participating in LA's AIDS Walk this October, and he's asked for sponsors. You get to support Lance and raise money for AIDS at the same time! What could be better? Click on the banner below and toss in a few dollars.
Banner, of course, by Diamond. You're welcome to borrow it. Please use the following code:
August 11, 2006
Did you guys see Travis Pastrana's double back flip? Dude.
Have to admit, I like Gene Simmons' kids.
Elizabeth K. brought Justin's recent radio interview to my attention, including the great line, "The best singer out of all of us is JC." (Were truer words ever spoken?) Pictures here: power106.fm/photoalbum/justint.aspx.
Apparently, at some point (Sunday night?) I managed to cut my tongue in my sleep. I've been told that the tongue is the fastest-healing organ in the body, but my tongue hurt all week. Like, Monday through Thursday. Today it's significantly better; I was beginning to despair, because it didn't seem to be getting any better at all. But, a healthy tongue is a happy tongue, and it's much better, so it's time to celebrate.
Hmm. Just thought of a Drewsome slice.
August 10, 2006
In case Sarah S. is out there anywhere: Thanks once again for the software you sent! I'm still using it. It's been an invaluable resource.
See above for a new banner from new bannerist, chole. Welcome to the oh-so-elite group of Sweet Uncleanness bannerists! Cupcakes and punch are on the table.
Because you've all just clamored for more information, I'm rooting for Kayne in this season of "Project Runway." He caught my attention in the first episode. I also like Michael a lot. Malan just about broke my heart. I think that (Matthew does research to find out her name) Laura does really good work, but it tends to look the same, which makes me doubt her true creativity/versatility.
August 9, 2006
Wow, okay, I didn't know this. The Backstreet Mastercard isn't a credit card, it's a pre-loaded pay-as-you-go card. You can get one for anywhere from $10 to $250. You can get it for yourself, or buy one for a friend. Hot! I mean, I'd prefer a Backstreet Mastercard, but this is great, too. (I wonder if I can get several.) backstreet.myplash.com
Lorna passed along this link: without-me.livejournal.com/1146902.html If you want to send Lance flowers, as a show of love and support, now you may be able to do just that.
Three shows I've checked out lately: ESPN's "The Contender" (season 2), because I really liked the first season (from NBC). Discovery's "Cash Cab," because it's just fun. Bravo's "Project Runway," because it's totally normal for me to take three years to pay attention to something everyone else has been into the whole time. All of this is a bad sign for my constant struggle to break away from reality TV.
August 8, 2006
HAPPY 30TH BIRTHDAY, JC AND DREW!
(Also, a quick shout-out to Nick, because in Mattworld, when "Living" Drew and "Sucker" JC get together, guess what they have in common?)
The following post was written July 18th:
Darren Hayes is out. I couldn't be more thrilled. It is a fabulous,
fantastic, and wonderful thing when someone can openly be exactly who he is.
It is absolutely insane for anyone to have to wait thirty-four years to be
able to say in public, "Hey, I'm in love with this guy over here." Not only
is Darren out, he's also married, and everyone here at SU extends a loud,
hearty congratulations.
(In case you have no idea what I'm
talking about, Darren Hayes is the singer from Savage Garden. Go buy CD's.)
Diamond introduced me to Boyzone, and
I got all "whee!" and "ha!" and giddy. I keep forgetting what their actual
names are, so I refer to them as Ronan, Stephen, Shane, Patrick, and
Patrick. (They all have, oh, four or five or six or ten names apiece, like
Ronan Patrick Shane Nicholas Michael Ronan Keating, and several of them have
"Patrick" as a middle name, although I don't remember which ones.) I'm a big
fan of Ronan's voice, and I'm intrigued by the slash potential of Ronan and
Stephen's dynamic. (Something's up with Stephen. There's always something
going on behind his smiles. Not as innocent as he looks, that guy.) Boyzone
doesn't hit all of the "boy band" marks that Five does, but they still get
credit.
For years now (and I mean that
literally), various people have tried to hook me on Westlife. I've always
resisted valiantly, but after I fell for Boyzone, Diamond handed me Westlife.
I named them West, Life, Christmas, Bobby, and Other. (Christmas is my
number one favorite, but I'm also a big fan of Life.) (I named "Bobby" after
Bobby Brown. I'm also a New Edition fan. I love young Ralph Tresvant's
Michael Jackson impression, Johnny Gill's teeth, and Michael Bivins.)
Westlife, too, is missing some of the necessary "boy band" traits, but
they're still good, clean fun. And, dude. Do not look directly at Christmas,
or you'll be sucked in for life. Whenever he looks right into the camera,
I'm just slayed.
Oh, wow. His name is Nicky. Because
life is like that.
The gay one is (pause while Matthew
does research) Life. And his real name is Mark. And now I need large posters
of Mark and/or Westlife to put beside large posters of Darren Hayes so that
I can celebrate people who refuse to deny who they are in the face of (at
least in some places) complete insanity and discrimination.
The Federal Marriage Amendment was
defeated, and that's a great, great thing. It's also something that never
should have been up for a vote. (Although we're also having public debate on
things like evolution and global warming, if that tells you anything.)
(Deep breath. Mustn't lose mind.)
Anyway, as of tonight, I love Hanson.
(Yes, I'm a bit late.) As long as we're talking about boy bands, Youngstown
was way overlooked back in the day. Those guys have some great songs,
compared to what else is out there. Give them a listen. One of the guys from
No Authority gives a memorable live show; one performance and I was like,
dude, get me more of this. There's also, of course, LFO. And Plus One.
Speaking of Christian music, guess
who I saw over the weekend? I'll give you a hint:
PIXIE!
OH MY #($&*@#(*$&*# I LOVE