"Jealous"

Jealous

Rating: G

Pairing: 98 Degrees

Disclaimer: The young men who comprise 98 Degrees are their own people. The author has not met anyone here described, nor does the author mean to suggest that these people act this way in real life. This writing is a work of fiction. I make no money from this venture.

Wherein Jeff watches, Jeff sees, and Jeff learns.

Adam

He'd used to be jealous. Sure, it was his group. He was the founder. They'd come to him. But they'd been close. They shared history. They even shared blood. Nick and Justin went way back, and Nick was Drew's older brother, and Drew and Justin were close, too. The three of them were like their own little group. Their own best friends, their own brothers. And suddenly it wasn't Jeff's group, so much as it was their group, and he was trying to fit in, trying to become a part of something that already existed.

Justin and Nick best friends. Drew and Nick brothers. Justin and Drew friends. They all knew each other. The way they talked about each other, casual, familiar. They understood each other's behavior. They could predict each other's behavior.

Jeff was only beginning to learn them.

They'd worked so closely together, the four of them, that they were together all of the time. They had to be. They didn't have time to spare to be apart. And so Jeff saw the three of them interact. All day. Sometimes he watched.

And then he began to see.

How close they really were.

And how close they weren't.

He saw the way Justin and Drew played together, and how Nick looked shut out of those times. He saw the way Nick would intervene, then, and turn Drew's attention. He saw the way Nick and Justin would hang out together, and Drew would be returned to the little boy not quite welcome at the older boys's clubhouse. He saw the way Nick and Drew would talk about family, would share that connection of background and blood, and Justin wouldn't be a part of the shared sentiment.

He saw how proud Nick was of Drew's perfectly defined musculature, and he saw how Justin couldn't pretend to compare. He saw how much Drew enjoyed laughing and joking with Justin; and how Nick wanted to say that Drew wasn't Justin's brother, and Justin wasn't Drew's best friend, so the two of them shouldn't be that close without Nick's presence. He saw how Drew was torn between supporting Nick in everything and being proud of Nick's stance in the spotlight, on the one hand; and wanting to know why Nick deserved to be there more than the rest of them, on the other hand.

He saw the way they looked at each other.

He saw how close they really were.

And how close they never could be.

He'd used to be jealous. He'd used to want to be the fourth member of their close-knit group. Now he only wanted to be their friend.

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