Friction

Friction

Rating: NC-17 for graphic male-male sex

Pairings: Jacob Underwood/Ashley Angel, Dan Miller/Trevor Penick

Disclaimer: The young men who comprise O-Town are their own people. The author has not met anyone here described, nor does the author mean to suggest that these people act this way in real life. This writing is a work of fiction. I make no money from this venture.

Dedication: This slashfic is for all of O-Town's fans. And for Diamond, who brought the guys to my attention.

Wherein Jacob cleans, Ashley cooks, and Erik had the keys last.

Notice: I began this story before I saw O-Town's "Cribs" on MTV; so for this story, don't imagine that house.
Also, I began this story before O2 came out, so this story is set between albums.
Let it be known that I adore Erik-Michael. It is my firm belief that he smells very good.

It took me a very long time to write this story, mainly because I kept stopping to write "Living." Since my writing style has changed over time, much of what was written needed to be overhauled to meet my current standards before I could put it up for public consumption. Gratitude is extended to Diamond, for helping me with the editing/re-writing process. I also would like to thank Bella, who expressed interest in the story some time ago when I mentioned it to her.

Need a reminder of which guy is which?

Diamond

Dan could do anything. No one could tell him otherwise. Dan was their motivation, their will, their determination. He was going to get what he wanted. Not only did Dan succeed, he dragged everyone else along behind him through sheer force. And if anyone else in O-Town started to fall behind, he was there with encouragement.

They loved his strength, his will, his faith. His big blue eyes and wide smile. When Dan smiled, Dan smiled.

Trevor had learned to accept Dan's support, to let Dan's strength buoy him. When Trevor feared failure, Dan's friendly, self-assured confidence reassured him.

“Whose turn was it to take out the trash?” Dan asked.

“It was your turn,” Jacob said.

“It’s only Dan’s turn this week if it was Erik’s turn last week,” Trevor said. “Ashley did it last week.”

Ashley was their designated heartthrob. He had the smile, the body, the demeanor. His innocence, kindness, and communicativeness made him ideal romantic fodder. However, by Trevor's calculations, only part of Ashley was attracted to women. The other part of him was attracted to men.

Ashley's bisexuality in itself didn't create intragroup tension. It would have been a problem for management, if anyone from their label had known. But it wasn't a problem for the group.

It only became a problem when Ashley's male-oriented quarter discovered Jacob.

“Ashley did it for Erik, because Erik was out with Lisa and forgot about it,” Jacob said.

“I didn’t know that,” Dan said.

“Ashley!” Jacob yelled.

The guys loved Jacob. The five of them were a unit. Everyone had a part to play, and Jacob sure had his. Jacob was almost a rebel, almost a cynic. That boy stood up for himself, and stood up for any one of them, whenever he saw a need. If Jacob felt an injustice, if Jacob saw a wrong or a slight, he was on it. He wasn't rude, and he didn't attack without reason, but when Jacob wanted to stand up for himself or O-Town, he was not going to be denied his right to speak.

Jacob was not the guy Trevor would choose for Ashley. Maybe it was that Jacob was more forceful than Ashley. More dominant. Fiercer, somehow. And it was getting to the point where Ashley looked out for Jacob, tried to keep the peace, tried to smooth things over for Jacob's sake.

It wasn't only that Ashley was falling for, had fallen for, Jacob in particular. That issue was only a smaller problem within the larger problem: that Ashley had that attraction, those feelings, for one of them at all. The group dynamics were flexible and complex, but didn't allow for romance within the band. They were friends, best friends, co-workers, allies, an exclusive support system. Friends, without a doubt. Boyfriends? Bad idea. Very bad idea. Monumentally bad idea.

“Hey,” Ashley said, coming into the room.

“If all Dan sees is Ashley taking out the trash, how is he supposed to know it’s Erik’s week?” Trevor asked.

“What’s going on?” Ashley asked.

No one could tell Ashley that it was a bad idea to be attracted to Jacob. First, someone would have to acknowledge Ashley's attraction, speak of it. Thus far, it had been understood, but tacitly. Trevor, Dan, and Erik had no intentions of letting Ashley know that they'd noticed.

And as far as they could tell, Jacob had not noticed. Which was easier for everyone, all things considered.

Trevor wasn't even sure if Ashley knew, if Ashley realized exactly what his attentions to Jacob had become. Besides, if Ashley had a major, lust-filled, passionate love for Jacob, wouldn't it be more obvious? Maybe it was just a crush. Ashley would get over it when they got busier, or when he met a new girl, or maybe when pigs flew.

“All you have to do is pay attention,” Jacob told Trevor and Dan. “Do we need to start posting schedules?”

“Posting schedules?” Trevor demanded.

“Jacob’s just saying that if we’re having trouble remembering who’s doing what, maybe we should put up a calendar,” Ashley said.

It wasn't bad enough that Ashley was attracted to Jacob. A complication was the friction between Jacob and Dan. It would have been best if no one took sides, but Ashley gravitated to Jacob. Trevor didn't want to see O-Town split into factions, but the more Ashley took Jacob's side, the more he took Dan's.

Jacob and Dan weren’t actually fighting. They both had strong personalities, they both preferred dominant roles, and they both had leadership positions within the band. Friction between them was natural and easily dealt with. The problem fell a different way.

The problem was between Ashley and Trevor.

“We’re not having trouble remembering,” Trevor said. “You’re throwing people off.”

“I was helping out Erik,” Ashley said.

“When Erik’s out getting laid, you take up the slack for him, but when Dan doesn’t do it because he doesn’t even know it’s his turn, no one can even say anything?” Trevor asked.

Jacob and Dan didn't see their friction as a problem. They understood each other, and they compromised and balanced as needed. But Ashley was quick to stand at Jacob's side, whether Jacob needed him to or not; and Trevor didn't let anyone discount Dan for a second.

The more Ashley stepped in for Jacob, the more Trevor resented them both. The more Trevor ended up opposing Ashley and, as a result, Jacob, on Dan's behalf, the more Ashley protected Jacob.

“That’s not fair,” Ashley said. “I helped Erik out because he asked me. I didn’t do anything yesterday because I didn’t know Dan forgot.”

“He didn’t forget!” Trevor shouted.

“Hey. Guys. It’s not a big deal,” Dan said. “I’ll take it out next week, and in the meantime, I’ll take this to a dumpster somewhere.”

Dan knew what was happening. Trevor and Erik knew. Ashley might have understood half of it; they weren't sure. Jacob didn't seem to be aware of the intentions and private motivations behind the outcome.

The outcome was that every day, relations were a little more tense. The natural friction between Jacob and Dan had birthed less natural friction between Ashley and Trevor, on their behalf, and extended to animosity.

Dan wanted everyone to relax, to back off the exaggerated drama and focus on more important matters. Ashley wanted everyone to back off of Jacob, to let Jacob relax and focus. Trevor wanted Ashley to realize that there was more to O-Town than what Jacob wanted.

“Hey, group huddle,” Erik said, strolling into the room. “What’s up?”

Trevor was used to being the group confidante. The guys came to him if they needed a sympathetic ear. Ashley pulled him aside often for personal time. Ashley was big on communicating. Lately, Ashley wasn't sharing much on a private, voluntary basis. They didn't have luxurious amounts of time, but they did have opportunities to steal away and talk, and Ashley hadn't taken advantage of those opportunities.

It had to be because they were putting themselves on opposing sides. Trevor didn't want to be on the outs with Ashley. He didn't want to fight with anyone. But he had all faith in, and respect for, Dan; and he wanted everyone else to feel the same way. He didn't like Jacob trying to run everything.

And he worried. He truly did worry that Ashley was putting too much energy and emotion into Jacob. Jacob shouldn't matter that much to Ashley, namely because Ashley wasn't going to matter that much to Jacob. That's what it came down to. Ashley's feelings would not be, could not be, requited, and that meant a lot of hurting for Ashley. Trevor didn't want to see that happen.

He didn't think that Jacob would hurt Ashley on purpose. Jacob wouldn't want to hurt Ashley. But Jacob was not going to return Ashley's love, was not going to respond to Ashley's physical attraction.

Maybe Trevor could talk to Ashley. Ashley was a big fan of communication. Maybe if they talked...

Ashley was in Jacob's room, on Jacob's bed. With Jacob. Fixing Jacob's hair.

Trevor couldn't believe it. "Hey."

"Hey." They were friendly. Ashley dipped his fingers into a jar of wax and returned to twisting Jacob's dreadlocks.

This was a bit much. Sure, when Jacob didn't tend to his hair, the dreads became untidy and made him look like he’d been reared by wolves. But was it Ashley's responsibility to play hairdresser? Since when did Ashley know how to fix Jacob's hair? Did Ashley and Jacob know that they looked like female, prepubescent sleepover friends?

Trevor decided not to talk to Ashley right then, after all.

Maybe later.

Ashley liked Jacob's dreads. He missed the curls, but the dreads were more Jacob. Especially when Jacob tied that rolled-up bandanna through them. Jacob's hair deserved to be striking and sexy, and if Jacob wasn't going to do the proper maintenance, somebody had to. It might as well be Ashley.

Trevor had come in and gone again without saying much. Maybe Trevor had wanted to talk to Jacob alone. If Trevor wanted to talk to Jacob alone, it was probably going to be about Dan, about Jacob and Dan, about how Jacob didn't respect Dan enough, about how Jacob needed to back off.

Jacob was not the backing off type.

Jacob respected Dan. They all did. How could anyone not? But maybe some respect for Jacob was in order. Maybe some people needed to show Jacob more respect, listen to Jacob, and give Jacob's ideas some thought instead of rejecting them out of hand because a., they were Jacob's and b., they weren't Dan's.

If Trevor wanted to worship at the altar of Dan, that was his business. Ashley admired Jacob's style.

Ashley had always liked Jacob. Jacob stood up for himself. And now that they were a group, now that they were close, now that the five of them as a whole were starting to matter more than individual desires, Jacob stood up for O-Town, too. To anyone, at any time, in any place.

Jacob wasn't afraid to fight. He couldn't be intimidated into backing down.

Jacob was different from Ashley in many ways. Ashley knew himself to be a peacemaker, always wanting to communicate. He knew that Jacob thought that he was hopelessly innocent about the ways of the world, about the ways of people. Maybe he was, but was that a bad thing to be?

Being Jacob's friend wasn't as easy as being Erik's friend. With Jacob, Ashley had to learn how Jacob worked. Being Jacob's friend meant being Jacob's equal. That included being capable of being spoken to in Jacob's direct, sometimes brusque, even forceful, tone without taking everything personally or being offended. Jacob respected his friends enough to think that they were as strong as he was.

Ashley thought that being Jacob's friend was making him stronger. Jacob was a very dominant person, and Ashley wanted Jacob to respect him, so he didn't let Jacob push him around. He tried to stand on his own two feet as much as possible. He didn't do things just because Jacob said to; he made sure they were what he wanted, too. And he'd talk to Jacob about it.

Ashley liked to talk.

He really liked to talk to Jacob.

Sitting there, twisting Jacob's hair, Ashley remembered Jacob's curls. He'd never had any of his own, and he'd touched Jacob's, curious and admiring. Jacob hadn't quite known what to make of it, being petted at odd times. But Jacob had tolerated it, and since Jacob had tolerated it, Ashley had made a point not to do it for too long, or too often.

Ashley had loved those curls. But they'd made Jacob too boy-next-door cute. That wasn't Jacob. This was Jacob.

Ashley was glad that he could sit here like this with Jacob, essentially grooming Jacob, without anyone suspecting anything. The guys knew that he was bisexual, but that hadn't changed their behavior towards him. They could still hang out together like they had before they'd known. Considering the nature of their work, they were together a lot more than normal friends were, in each other's space, lacking privacy. He would have understood if they'd been uncomfortable around him since his announcement of his sexuality. But nothing had changed, really.

Which was fine with him. It wasn't like he wanted them or anything. They were his friends.

Jacob had been watching TV for something to do. Now he turned off the TV and said, "We need to talk about something. Anything. I don't care what. It's driving me nuts, sitting here."

Ashley smiled. "I was just thinking that Erik shouldn't have shaved off all of his hair."

"It was supposed to make him look older," Jacob said.

"He is older."

"You both look like jailbait."

"We do not," Ashley said, trying to be offended and hold back his laughter. But sometimes Ashley forgot how young they all really were. When he thought of their lives, in comparison with how every other American their age was living... They'd taken on a lot. They'd agreed to a lot.

If he didn't have the other guys with him, he couldn't do this.

Jacob had wanted conversation, but Ashley was deep in thought again.

Deep Thoughts, by Ashley Angel. It wasn't actually a laughable concept once you knew the guy. But before, when Jacob had first met him... Ashley didn't initially come across like one of the deep thinkers of the time. Too blond, too nice, too innocent.

Ashley Angel. Now there was a name. It fit, of course, which was the worst part about it. That just made Ashley too extra-cute.

The most interesting thing about it was that Ashley was bi. Normally, that would ruin the entire image. But this was the twenty-first century. Ashley wasn't half-and-half, but he was open-minded and willing as far as guys went. Very hip, very in. Ashley was cutting-edge perfection.

It was a new experience to have four live-in guys who worked with him and were around all of the time. The great thing was that they were best friends. They were very different people, and there wasn't endless, perfect harmony, but they had fun together. Jacob actually loved these guys.

Was it Jacob's imagination, or was Ashley stroking his scalp? Just as he was about to ask, Ashley's hand went back to work on his dreads. Maybe he had imagined it.

When Ashley had first come out to them, there had been a few questions. When the four of them had been together without Ashley, Erik had asked, "He's not going to hit on us, is he?"

Jacob hadn't really thought that Erik was worth hitting on, but he wasn't interested in his friends, so maybe he wasn't the best judge.

Of course Ashley wasn't going to hit on one of them. They were too close for that nonsense. Ashley was too smart for that shit.

The idea of Ashley hitting on him, Jacob, was enough to make him laugh.

"What?" Ashley asked, interested, curious.

"I was thinking what an awful couple we'd make."

"Couple?" Ashley asked, and he was behind Jacob but Jacob could imagine the amused confusion on his face, the smile, the drawing together of his eyebrows.

"I would be all wrong for you," Jacob said.

"You think so, really?" Ashley asked.

Jacob let out a small snort. "Yes."

"The way you work, you have to be friends first and foremost. We're friends."

"Ashley, I don't know if your taste in guys is drastically different from your taste in women, but I know I'd be awful for you."

"Why?"

"I'm not beautiful or sexy."

"Sure you are."

"I'm not classically beautiful or sexy," Jacob said, to humor Ashley. "I'm not dramatic."

"You're never boring."

"Besides, I'm too strong-willed. You already have a problem with turning sub at the drop of a hat. I'd only make that worse."

"At the drop of a hat," Ashley repeated, trying not to be offended.

"Every time I think you've grown a pair of balls you intend to keep, you back down and roll over for somebody."

"Sometimes that's better than offending everybody."

"Not that I can see," Jacob said.

"You could try it sometime."

"You could try standing up for yourself."

"I do stand up for myself. I just know how to do it within reason."

"Within reason? In other words, you stand up for yourself as long as no one else disagrees."

"When something's important to me, if I believe in it, I stand by it."

"Like what?" Jacob asked.

"A lot of things."

"Right," Jacob said.

"Name one thing you've chosen to compromise on," Ashley said, challenging.

"I didn't want you to mess with my hair, but I let you."

"That doesn't count. Something more important."

"My hair's pretty important."

"Then learn to take care of it. How about this? I'll stand strong on what I believe in, if you learn to compromise."

"What?"

Ashley scooted around to sit in front of Jacob. "I'll do it, if you do it."

"What is this, a bet?"

"It's a pact. You don't think I'm strong enough, you think I give in, but I'll work on standing up for myself if you'll work on listening and compromising."

Jacob studied him, Jacob's gaze probing. "You'll stand up for what you believe in."

"Yes."

"Okay."

"Okay?" Ashley was stunned, and he didn't bother to try to hide it. Jacob was agreeing to this?

"Yeah." Jacob offered his hand, and Ashley shook it, still in shock.

"I'm going to tell the guys," Ashley said. "They can keep an eye on us."

"They're going to notice something's wrong the first time I don't force my opinion on them," Jacob said, and Ashley laughed.

"How did this happen?" Erik asked, to make them explain again. "The two of you would make a bad couple, because he's stubborn as hell and you're a pushover, so you agreed to pretend to be him while he pretends to be you?"

"No," Ashley said. "Well, yes."

"Makes sense to me," Dan said, looking at Jacob, completely lost.

"I can't wait to see Jacob backing down and giving in," Erik said. "So, I was thinking, we should make this next album a real light pop."

Jacob was wearing his "That is not amusing, and I'm going to remember this moment" face.

"We could make it sort of a tribute album," Erik said. "A tribute to our great boy band forefathers. We could do a cover of 'I Want It That Way.'"

"Our next album," Jacob said. "Our album. Our second album. A light pop tribute to boy bands."

"Can we do 'Quit Playing Games'?" Trevor asked.

"Ashley can be Nick, Jacob can be AJ, I'll be Howie," Erik said.

"What?" Dan asked.

"For the video," Erik said. "We can remake the videos, too."

"Let's get Rich to collaborate on every song," Ashley said.

"Every song," Jacob repeated. "Rich Cronin, from LFO, on every song."

"He's talented and prolific," Dan said.

"We could ask him to give our stuff that fluff-pop flavor," Erik said.

"I always wanted to sing about Abercrombie and Fitch," Dan said. "Maybe he can write a song about the Gap."

"What's wrong? Don't you like the boy band light pop sound?" Erik asked Jacob, who was half-turned away with very closed body language. It wasn't pouting body language, because Jacob didn't pout; it was pissed-off body language.

"I think it sounds like a great album," Trevor said.

"Not one of you is funny," Jacob said. "And if we end up with even one light pop fluff song on this album, I'm leaving the band."

"Okay. We'll only do deep pop," Dan said.

"Can we do dirty pop?" Trevor asked.

"No *NSYNC!" Jacob said. "No Backstreet Boys, no *NSYNC, no LFO."

"What are we supposed to sound like?" Trevor asked. "I don't do Metallica."

Erik and Ashley started head-banging.

"We're going to sound like us," Jacob said. "Not a manufactured boy band."

The head-banging ended. "We are a manufactured boy band," Erik said, and put his hand to his head, blinking. "Wow. I think I sprained my brain."

"We were a manufactured boy band," Dan said. "That was the tool that brought us together. Now we're a group, and we have the chance to be whatever we want to be. We can have whatever sound we want. We can have different sounds. Pop, rock, hip-hop, any combination."

"Rap! Country! Latin!" Ashley said.

"Polka!" Erik said.

Dan started to lift cushions from the sofa.

"Who had them last?" Jacob asked.

"I did, because I went to get milk this morning," Dan said. "No one's gone out since then except Ashley."

"I thought Erik went somewhere."

"He was going to, but he never went."

"Where'd you put them?"

"On the board in the kitchen," Dan said. "Where they belong."

"You had them last, they're not there now."

"I put them on the board," Dan said, straightening and looking directly at Jacob. "Don't insinuate that I didn't, because you know that I always do."

Jacob wasn't in any way frightened or angered by Dan's mood. He didn't become conciliatory or confrontational - - not any more than usual. "I'm just saying, they're not there now, and no one's had them since you."

"What's going on?" Ashley asked, coming into the living room.

"Have you seen the car keys?" Dan asked.

"Didn't Erik have them?" Ashley asked.

"He never left," Dan said, and resumed his search.

Ashley went to look in the kitchen.

"Easter egg hunt?" Erik asked, coming through with Trevor.

"Dan lost the keys," Jacob said.

Dan was out of the couch quick on that one. "I did not lose the keys. I put them where they belonged, and when I went back for them, they weren't there."

"You were the last one who had them, and now we can't find them," Jacob said.

"I put them back!"

Dan's raised voice had re-attracted Ashley's attention, and now the living room was full. Erik took a seat on the sofa arm. Trevor crossed his arms over his chest, frowning, ready to step in and take up for Dan, because if Dan said that he'd put them back, then he'd put them back. Ashley was frowning, too, concerned about the yelling. "Why don't we all look for them?"

"Why doesn't he just take your car?" Jacob asked.

"We need to find the keys," Dan said. "Better now than later."

"You can use my car," Ashley said. He considered his car as much of a group car as the real group car was, even if only Erik used it like it was common property.

"And then what? I use your car forever until we stumble across the keys?" Dan asked.

Now Jacob looked pissed off. "He's offering you his car, so don't bite his head off."

"You can go now, and we can find the keys while you're out," Ashley said. "They have to be around here somewhere."

"They have to be here. We haven't had anyone around who'd walk off with them," Erik said.

"Yeah, Jacob's friends haven't been around today," Trevor said.

"My friends do not steal," Jacob said.

"They're kleptomaniacs," Trevor said.

"They would never take anything from me."

"Our stuff was here. They came. They left. Our stuff was no longer here. What's the conclusion you drew?" Dan asked.

"They didn't take our shit!" Jacob said.

"Jacob knows them better than we do," Ashley said. "If he says-"

"Jacob has lousy taste in friends," Dan said.

"Take my car," Ashley said to Dan.

"He doesn't want your car," Trevor said.

"The longer he stays, the worse it's getting," Ashley said. "He can go, cool off-"

"You want Dan to cool off?" Trevor asked.

"He's picking fights!"

"Because he's being accused of stuff he hasn't done!"

"He's accusing other people of stuff they haven't done!"

"Tom and Gina took our Playstation, our games, our clothes-"

"They did not!"

"Then who did, the freaking fairies?"

"Jacob said-"

"I don't give a crap what Jacob said! You're the only one who does! Speaking of freaking fairies."

Ashley stopped and frowned. "What?"

"Fuck you," Jacob said to Trevor.

"Hey," Dan said.

"What?" Trevor asked. "You... You did not-"

"I did," Jacob said. "Fuck you. You think it's okay to use his bisexuality as an insult? You think that's something you can say, something you can use against him at your convenience? Next time you're mad at Erik, are you going to call him a Spic? Do you want me to call you-"

"Don't," Dan said, fast and hard.

"I could," Jacob said. "What's the difference?"

"There's a difference," Dan said.

"Find out how Ashley feels right now, and then we'll discuss there being a difference," Jacob said.

"That does not give you the right to say that to Trevor," Dan said.

"Two wrongs don't make a right?" Jacob asked. "All I'm doing is letting him know that the way he just talked to Ashley is not acceptable in this house or out of it."

"And that makes it okay to talk that way to Trevor?" Dan asked.

"Trevor deserves to be treated the way he treats other people," Jacob said. "Everyone does."

"You're lucky we don't treat you the way you treat us," Trevor said.

"I have nothing against gay people," Dan said. "Neither does Trevor. He said something he didn't mean. You've said things you shouldn't have said."

"I have not been personally derogatory to a friend who's only trying to help," Jacob said.

"You just said 'fuck you' to Trevor," Dan said.

"He deserved it," Jacob said.

"You called me a fairy?" Ashley asked Trevor. "Why?"

"Because it's something that he can use against you," Jacob said. "That's how you know how people really feel about you. It's all in what they're willing to use against you later. If it hadn't occurred to him to say it, or even if it had occurred to him and he hadn't said it, there would be no problem. But he-"

"I didn't mean it!" Trevor said.

"I don't see what me being bi has to do with Jacob," Ashley said. "It didn't have anything to do with what we were talking about."

"Stand up for yourself," Jacob said.

"I am," Ashley said.

"You were about to give in."

"He said he didn't mean it," Ashley said.

"That doesn't mean he's sorry he said it," Jacob said.

"I don't want to make this a huge fight that drags on all week," Ashley said.

"Make him apologize to you."

"If he wants to, he will."

"What if he doesn't?" Jacob asked.

"It's Trevor! He's going to apologize. I know he didn't mean it. Everybody says stuff in anger that we don't really mean."

"I always say what I mean, and I always mean what I say," Jacob said.

"Yeah, but the rest of us tend to sugarcoat things sometimes," Erik said.

"I don't hear an apology," Jacob said.

"Give him a chance to get a word in," Ashley said.

Jacob waited pointedly.

Trevor kept his thumbs in his belt loops and didn't say anything.

Jacob nodded as his expectations were met.

Ashley looked disappointed, hurt, and confused. It was, like every other emotion, a good look for Ashley.

"I'm going," Dan said. He touched Trevor's arm with the back of his hand. "You want to come with me?"

"Yeah," Trevor said. The two of them went into the kitchen.

"Don't follow them," Jacob said, putting a hand on Ashley to keep him in place. "Make him come to you."

"Why did he call me that?" Ashley asked. "If he had a problem-"

"He doesn't have a problem with you or your sexuality," Jacob said. "He has problems with himself and with me. Don't give a second thought to anything he says."

"As soon as he comes back he'll apologize to you," Erik said.

The front door opened and closed.

"Good-bye," Erik said. "Good-bye," he answered himself.

"I don't get it," Ashley said.

"Trevor was being a jerk," Jacob said. "It's a rare occurrence, but now that it's happened, we have to deal with it."

"The keys are in my room!" Erik said, jumping up. "I was going to-"

Erik kept talking, but Jacob was already leaving the living room. Ashley groaned and sat on the couch, his face in his hands.

Dan was driving. Trevor was at his side.

"I didn't mean it like that," Trevor said.

"Then why did you say it?" Dan asked, not to accuse him but to get him to talk it out.

"Because I was mad. I was mad at him and Jacob. He always takes Jacob's side, no matter how stupid it is. Jacob sees everything the way he wants to see it, and he never changes his mind after his first impression. You can't tell him he's wrong. And Ashley always stands up for him! If Ashley weren't bi and didn't like Jacob, he'd have much better perspective."

"You're saying he only takes Jacob's side because of other personal reasons."

"Yes!" Trevor was frustrated.

"Maybe he takes Jacob's side because no one else does. Ashley wants everything to be fair. If it weren't for Ashley, Jacob would be fighting a lot of those battles alone, and he shouldn't have to. Jacob and I have different opinions on a lot of things, but that doesn't mean that one of us is always wrong. There are a lot of ways to look at every situation."

"Jacob's always butting heads with someone."

"Is something else happening?" Dan asked.

"Like what?"

"In the past month, you've developed a lot of anger towards Jacob. And towards Ashley. Are you working your way through us? You going to hate Erik next, or me?" Dan asked, teasing.

The sight of that big grin lifted Trevor's spirits, against his will. "I'm tired of Ashley always taking Jacob's side."

"Jacob always has a point," Dan said. "We might not always like it, but it's usually true."

"If you're rude and you always want to play devil's advocate, he has a point," Trevor said.

"You've never had a problem with Jacob before. I love him, and I know you do, too. There's something else going on, and I'm not going to pretend to know what it is. I appreciate you sticking up for me and defending me. But sometimes, it's not about me versus Jacob. Sometimes it's about something bigger, like the good of the group. And when it is about me versus Jacob, then that's between me and Jacob. You don't always have to pick a side."

Trevor sighed and looked out through the windshield.

"If you ever figure out why you're so mad at Jacob and Ashley, let me know," Dan said.

Jacob stood in the doorway to Ashley's bedroom. Ashley was sitting on the floor, knees up, back resting against the side of the bed, picking at the carpet. "I can turn off the lights if the darkness would suit your mood better."

"I'm not feeling sorry for myself," Ashley said, looking up at him.

"Then what are you doing?" Jacob asked, coming into the room.

Ashley scooted over to make room, assuming that Jacob would sit beside him.

Jacob humored Ashley and took a seat.

"Thanks for trying to defend me. I was so taken by surprise by what Trevor said, I didn't know what to say."

"He called you a freaking fairy," Jacob said.

"But why?"

"Why? Because he was mad."

"I didn't do anything. I was trying to help."

"He was mad at me, and you were on my side."

"Why does it have to be about sides?'

"Because sometimes it is."

"I don't stand by you because I'm bi, I stand by you because I believe in what you have to say."

"He was trying to say that you take my side because you want me."

"Because I want you?" Ashley repeated, surprised. "What?"

"'Because I want you? What? Why would he ever think that? I'd never want you! The thought is so-'"

"Stop it," Ashley said, laughing. "I didn't mean it like that. I just meant... Why would he think that? I don't want you."

"Maybe since you're bi, and you're around guys, you have to be interested in one of us," Jacob said. "I guess I could be flattered that he decided you're interested in me and not Erik or Dan."

"But I'm not interested in you," Ashley said.

"I know that," Jacob said patiently.

"Where did he get that idea?"

"Ask him," Jacob said.

Ashley scratched the back of his head. "I didn't want to cause problems."

"It's not causing problems."

"Trevor doesn't like it, and he's bringing you into it," Ashley said. "That's a problem."

"Don't start regretting that you told us."

"If it really bothers Trevor-"

"It doesn't bother him."

"He said-"

"Wait until he apologizes. Once the two of you have one of your nice heart-to-hearts, see if you still think he has a problem with it."

Ashley smiled, because he and Trevor really did have heart-to-hearts. He wasn't offended by Jacob's light mockery. "Are you still mad?"

"Yes."

"At Trevor."

"Yes."

"If I stand up for myself and make him apologize, make him explain himself, and keep at it until it's okay, will you let it go?"

"We're switching personalities?"

"We said we would for two weeks, and we haven't been doing it."

Jacob looked at Ashley. "You'll stand up for yourself?"

"I'll be relentless," Ashley promised with a fake stern look.

Jacob thought about it.

"I can handle this one on my own. You don't have to be outraged on my behalf."

"Okay," Jacob said. "This one time, I'll back off."

Ashley offered his hand.

Jacob shook it.

"Hey," Erik said. They looked up; Jacob let go of Ashley's hand. "Should I tell them that I had the keys the whole time?"

"No," Ashley said. "Let's not bring that up unless they ask."

"Good," Erik said. "Let's pray they don't ask."

When Dan came home, he walked into the kitchen and saw Jacob. The car keys were dangling from Jacob's fingers. Dan laughed, and they were okay.

Trevor went into Ashley's room.

Ashley liked to talk and communicate. Trevor was sensitive and introspective. Trevor understood how people felt; Ashley liked to talk about what was going on. When Ashley wanted to puzzle out an interpersonal problem, he often turned to Trevor to be his sounding board.

With Trevor's insight and understanding, and Ashley's need to get things out in the open, they were a bad combination if they got anywhere near a secret or anything repressed.

Forty-five minutes into it, Erik walked past Ashley's room and heard raised voices. He stopped and listened. This conversation was going to enter into Erik's life sooner or later. He might as well be in on the moment.

Dan walked past a few minutes later. "You're not eavesdropping, are you?"

"No," Erik lied, listening intently.

"What's going on?" Dan asked, not out of base curiosity but because he was concerned about his friends. He could hear the sound of their voices, but he couldn't distinguish words.

"Ashley's saying that Trevor's closed off and shutting him out. Trevor's saying that Ashley doesn't know when to let things go. But I don't know what Ashley's prying into," Erik said. He raised his eyebrows. "Whoa, wait." With his hands on the sides of the doorframe for support, he pressed his ear to the wood of the door. "Wow, hold on." He wasn't going to tell Dan about this part. That whole train of thought had never crossed his mind, but Ashley seemed pretty serious, and Trevor's rebuttals were getting weaker and weaker. Damn.

Dan waited.

"Ashley's saying that Jacob is his best friend," Erik said. "Not - - what?" Dan tapped his shoulder harder this time, and at first he thought that Dan was trying to warn him that Ashley and Trevor had discovered him, but that wasn't possible, because they were still in there arguing and he'd been quiet, so - - oh. Erik turned. Jacob. He tried to remember if he'd said anything incriminating.

Jacob knocked on Ashley's door.

Erik and Dan looked at each other, then split. Erik didn't get far, though, when Jacob grabbed him.

Then there was a small scene where Erik had to make it clear, to Ashley and to Trevor, that yeah, maybe he'd heard a little of their conversation, but he hadn't told anyone. He was very specific about not having told what he'd overheard, because he didn't want them to be afraid of what Dan and Jacob knew.

Trevor was accusing Ashley of having a thing for Jacob. Ashley was saying no, no way, not ever.

Ashley was accusing Trevor of having a thing for Dan. Trevor was saying no, no way, not ever.

Erik was glad that nobody was accusing anybody of being interested in him. They were great friends, but he didn't need them to try to be more than his friends.

That was what girls were for.

The next afternoon, Ashley was in the kitchen getting water when Jacob came home. Ashley realized that since he'd just taken his post-workout shower, and he hadn't finished dressing, he was half-naked. Not that Jacob would care one way or the other, since...since... Jacob was cute. Jacob was very cute. Especially in that hat, with the dreads all tucked up inside it. It made him want to-

It made him want to stop thinking stupid thoughts.

It made him want to kiss Jacob's nose, then kiss Jacob's lips, then lick his way into Jacob's mouth and settle in for a good, long-

Good, long lobotomy. That was what he needed. Obviously, part of his brain was defective.

"Are my clothes on backwards? Is there a reason you're looking at me crazy?" Jacob asked, a hand on his chest to check.

Clothes on backwards. Clothes on. Clothes off. Jacob's clothes off. Jacob unclothed, naked. "I'm looking at you crazy because I'm crazy," Ashley said. "I'm having serious mental health problems over here."

"Are you okay?" Jacob asked. "Can I help? Do we need to call someone?"

"Have you ever seen one of those stupid movies or TV shows or something-"

"Yeah. A lot of them."

Ashley decided not to roll his eyes. "I mean one of the ones where the guy and the girl are friends, and people say that they should be together, but they aren't interested, so they kiss each other to prove it?"

"Right. And then the kiss is a great kiss, so they hook up after all."

"Right," Ashley said. "Just like that." He felt weak inside.

"I believe in being friends first, so that half of the scenario, I buy. But you don't harbor that kind of passion for your best friend and not know it unless you're in serious denial. No one is that repressed or that stupid. So that half of it is shit. Unless they're so shallow that one kiss can change the way they think."

"It could be a good kiss," Ashley said.

"The kind of kiss that awakens new passions that fast? That's a phenomenal kiss. I don't know anyone who kisses that well."

"That was kind of insulting to anyone who's ever kissed you."

"It's true. Kissing is not the stellar, life-altering activity that people want you to believe."

It could be. Ashley knew that it would be, with...with...with Jacob. Oh, god. "You don't like kissing?"

"Kissing is great. It's like most things; it depends on who's doing it, how well it goes."

Was Ashley a good kisser? Probably not good enough to impress Jacob. Not good enough to awaken new passions. Not good enough to turn a straight man bi. Why did Jacob have to be straight? More importantly, why did he have to be bi? And why had Trevor brought this up? It wasn't true. He was only thinking about Jacob now because of what Trevor had suggested. Trevor had planted these thoughts in his head.

"I think we covered this already, but why are you looking at me crazy?" Jacob asked.

"I'm not," Ashley said. He probably was. He wanted his shirt. He wanted any shirt. He could take Jacob's. But then Jacob would be half-naked. That wasn't a bad thing. That was a good thing. He'd wear Jacob's shirt, and Jacob wouldn't wear any shirt at all, and he could... Ashley licked his lips.

Oh, god. Why did this have to happen now? Couldn't Trevor have brought this idea to him in a decade or two or three, when he was older? Older and more mature. Meaning less horny and less easily excited. If he let this suggestion develop into a real idea, into an actual way of thinking, and if he stopped and let his brain settle on Jacob as a possible sexual target, he was going to be in serious trouble. Real, big trouble.

He had to excise this notion from his brain.

He had to stop admiring Jacob's ass in those jeans.

Jacob turned, closing the refrigerator door, and Ashley blushed, not knowing where to look.

Jacob gave him a speculative look. "What is wrong with you?"

"Nothing," Ashley said. "Nothing." He needed an escape. He should excuse himself to finish getting dressed. He needed a distraction.

Trevor came in.

Ashley blushed harder. Trevor. Trevor knew.

Jacob's eyes narrowed. "Ashley. What?"

"Nothing," Ashley said, trying not to be obvious about edging away.

Dan came in and said, "How does this smell?" He walked right up to Trevor and put the inside of his wrist beneath Trevor's nose.

It hit Ashley like a ton of bricks. To have Jacob that close, Jacob's scent in his nose. He'd have to take Jacob's forearm in his hands and bring it to his lips, kiss it, kiss the sensitive inside of Jacob's wrist, kiss the pulse. The urge, the need, to have Jacob's hand move to the side of his face, to have Jacob's fingers slide back through his hair, a slow touch, pulling him closer to Jacob's kiss...

"It's good," Trevor said. His eyes met Ashley's across the kitchen.

Ashley and Trevor had gone out for the night. Dan took the opportunity to talk to Erik and Jacob.

"They seem fine to me," Erik said.

"Something's wrong," Dan said.

"They seem a lot more friendly now," Jacob said. "Maybe that last fight fixed whatever was going on, because since then, they've been best friends."

"They're acting weird," Dan said.

"Granted," Jacob said. He didn't seem very worried about it. Then he frowned. "The weirdest of the weird is Ashley. He wouldn't tell me what was going on. Usually you can't get Ashley not to tell you what he's going through."

"He tells you and Erik everything," Dan said. "He wouldn't talk about this?"

"Not even a clue. He was talking about movies and kissing, but that was it."

"Movie kisses?" Dan asked.

"The plotline where the two friends swear up and down they aren't interested in each other, and then they kiss, and that one kiss turns them into the greatest lovers in the world."

Dan frowned. His brain was working. Erik tried not to worry. Then Dan said, "Do you think that Ashley and Trevor..."

"What?" Jacob asked.

"Maybe they were fighting because of that other bad plot line, where people fight because their repressed attraction to each other causes the other kind of fireworks."

"They were fighting because they want each other?" Jacob asked.

"I don't think so," Erik said.

"They were in a hurry to get out of the house tonight. They didn't say where they were going, and they didn't invite us," Dan said.

"That's crazy talk," Erik said.

"It's possible," Jacob said. "I never did buy the idea that Trevor was one hundred percent heterosexual."

"We shouldn't jump to conclusions," Erik said.

"It's something to think about," Dan said.

"No, it isn't," Erik said.

Jacob turned to Erik directly. "What do you know?"

"Nothing."

"What?" Dan asked.

"Spit it out," Jacob said.

"They aren't doing anything together," Erik said. "Ashley doesn't want Trevor, and Trevor doesn't want Ashley. There's no mutual wanting."

"Then what's going on?" Jacob asked.

"Nothing."

"Trevor was picking fights with Ashley. Now they're bosom buddies," Dan said.

"Only you would say 'bosom buddies,'" Jacob said.

"Maybe you should be glad things are back to normal," Erik said. "And not question it."

"Okay," Dan said.

Jacob shrugged.

Erik didn't believe them.

Ashley was sitting beside Trevor on the hood of the car, overlooking the water in the moonlight. "How did you know?"

"The way you treat him," Trevor said.

"It could be friendship."

"You don't treat Erik the way you treat Jacob."

"I know, but..." Ashley didn't have a valid argument. "I didn't know."

"Everybody else knows," Trevor said.

"What?!" Ashley stared at Trevor in horror.

"Just me, Dan, and Erik," Trevor said. "Nobody else."

"Nobody?"

"Nobody."

"Not..."

"Nobody," Trevor said.

"Dan and Erik?" Ashley asked.

"We aren't freaked out about it," Trevor said. "And we aren't going to tell Jacob."

"You can't tell him," Ashley said. "I'm not going to tell him. I'm going to keep quiet about it, get over it, and move on like it never happened. He never has to know."

"You're going to get over it? Just like that?"

"It isn't that serious," Ashley said. "It's interest. A crush. All I have to do is change my thought patterns."

"You think that this is a passing crush?" Trevor asked.

"Yes. What do you think it is?"

"Ashley, you're in love with him."

Ashley's brain choked. Love?

"I'm the most empathetic guy you're going to meet around here," Trevor said. "I can tell you, you're in love with Jacob. It's weird, but it almost makes sense. It's understandable."

"Understandable?" Ashley asked. "I don't understand it."

"Close your eyes," Trevor said. Ashley closed his eyes. "Think about Jacob. Don't try anything specific. Just think about Jacob."

Jacob. Jacob. Jacob singing. Jacob's hair. The way Jacob moved, with his own kind of grace. Jacob's confidence onstage - - Jacob was natural up there, at home, nothing short of comfortable. When he was serious and he looked straight at Ashley, his sober gaze was like a weight against Ashley's skin. And it wasn't necessarily a bad weight, either.

Jacob was fun, and he had fun, but sometimes Ashley didn't think that it was enough. Sometimes Ashley wanted to make him smile, make him laugh, make him enjoy his life more. Jacob was really only himself when he was with his closest friends. Ashley was privileged to be one of those friends.

Jacob had a small-boned, wiry sort of build, lean with tight muscles, no fat to spare. He had an attractive body, with enough muscle definition to draw the eye without being distracting. He had the cutest ass, but he never dressed to show it off. Jacob didn't dress to display his body. Ashley wished that he would. That slim, tight body. The planes of his hips, the curve of his ass, the - - god, Ashley wanted to be under him, under his body, living and breathing Jacob's kiss.

He'd slide his hand down Jacob's back and-

Ashley's eyes snapped open. He tried to make his mind a blank, but the whirl of his thoughts kept him on the subject of Jacob. Jacob, Jacob's eyes, Jacob's smile, Jacob's hands, Jacob's arrogance, Jacob's humility, Jacob's scent, Jacob's skin. The way Jacob expected so much of him. The way he wanted to meet Jacob's expectations, just to get Jacob to notice him, just for the chance that Jacob might be proud of him, or think better of him. He was Jacob's lap dog and god, damn, he wanted to stay that way.

Trevor touched Ashley's arm, jolting Ashley back to reality. He composed himself quickly, glad that Trevor wouldn't notice his hard-on in the cover of night. "Sorry. Got a little wrapped up there. But you're right." He looked at Trevor, wondering how Trevor had recognized in him what he himself hadn't known existed. "I'm in love with him."

Trevor nodded. "What are you going to do?"

"I don't know," Ashley said. "I can't tell him, but not telling him, trying to hide it, is going to make me nuts. What about you? You and Dan."

"That's completely different," Trevor said. "That's a different league. A different game."

"You're in love with your best friend and bandmate. How is that different?" Ashley asked.

"It's not the same," Trevor said.

"Why not?"

"I'm not in love with him," Trevor said. "He's Dan. He's..."

"He's gorgeous, he's changed your life, he always knows exactly what to say to you, and the big blue eyes probably don't hurt," Ashley said.

"That doesn't mean-"

"One question," Ashley said. "Just one."

"Okay. One," Trevor agreed.

"What do you think of his lisp?"

"I love it," Trevor said. "I listen for it."

"You're in love."

"What?"

"With Dan. You're in love with him."

"I am not! How does-"

"You are."

"How does-"

"You are, you are, you are," Ashley gloated.

"One thing's for sure," Trevor said.

"What's that?"

"I have better taste than you do." Trevor had to move fast to escape Ashley.

When Ashley got back to the house with Trevor, he went to his room to go to bed. He was in the middle of changing when Erik knocked. "Come in."

Erik burst in. "They think you're with Trevor and I tried to tell them you weren't but I couldn't explain why you weren't without explaining what's really going on so I didn't know what to say and they don't know what to think and Jacob's going to be here in a nanosecond," and Erik was gone again.

"What?"

Another knock, this one Jacob's. "Ash."

"Come in." Shit, bare skin - - but Jacob was already there, and it was too late to put his clothes on again. His boxers would have to suffice. And normally that would be fine, no problem, he wouldn't think twice, but now? Now that he wanted Jacob? Now that he knew that he wanted Jacob?

Jacob was looking at him. For what? Ashley tried to remember what Erik had said rapid-fire. "They think you're with Trevor." Jacob was looking for post-makeout markings? Post-sex markings? He didn't have any sign of Trevor on his body, because he hadn't done anything with Trevor, because he and Trevor weren't together.

Ashley's stomach knotted with the fierce desire to have Jacob's mark on his naked skin. A love bite. Trails where Jacob's short nails had scratched his flesh.

If he got an obvious hard-on in front of Jacob, he was going to quit the band. Or, at the very least, never be in the same room as Jacob again.

"Have a good night?" Jacob asked.

"Yeah," Ashley said. It had been a real eye-opener.

"Where'd you go?"

Subtle interrogation. "We just drove around and talked. One of our heart-to-hearts."

"Sounds deep."

"Not deep so much as important."

Jacob thought about that.

Ashley was in trouble.

"What's going on with you two?" Jacob asked.

"What do you mean?"

"I mean until yesterday you kept fighting and fussing at each other, and now you're running off together alone at night for important personal conversations."

"We weren't running off together. We just wanted to talk alone, the two of us, without everyone else."

"Talk about what?"

"It was personal," Ashley said. He wasn't about to tell Jacob. Yeah, we were out, just talking. Talking about how much I want you. Since I'm in love with you, and everything. Oh, you didn't know? Yeah, that's right. No way.

"It's good that you and Trevor are talking again," Jacob said. "I don't have the same sympathetic ear Trevor does."

"You always listen when I have something to say."

"But I try to fix it right then and there."

"Not all of the time. And that's just the way you are."

"Hey, I didn't say it was a bad thing," Jacob said, and Ashley had to laugh. Jacob smiled at him, and it was just the two of them, Ashley and Jacob; Jacob's smile and the warmth in Ashley's heart. Jacob sized him up. "Any time you want to get with a guy, I'll support you. If you get with somebody decent, I might even encourage you. Whether it's a private thing or you want to let it get public, I'm right there. Okay?"

Jacob's support meant everything to Ashley. "Thank you."

"You're not with Trevor, are you?"

Leave it to Jacob to come out and ask. "No. I'm not."

"Good."

"Good?" Ashley repeated.

"Nothing against Trevor," Jacob said. "I just think you need someone stronger to lend you some backbone."

"Like you?"

"I was thinking Dan," Jacob said. "I'd run all over you."

"You would not," Ashley said. "I'm not that weak. I never was that weak to begin with, and I've grown a lot."

"You have," Jacob agreed.

"Not enough for you," Ashley guessed.

"Who gives a shit about me?" Jacob asked. "Grow enough for you. That's all that matters."

Ashley hugged Jacob. It was an impetuous move, and also a very stupid one. It was quick, but in that moment, he had Jacob in his arms, Jacob against his body, Jacob under his hands. He could smell Jacob, and Jacob's hands slipped over his naked skin. Fortunately, he was so afraid of being found out that he couldn't manage a decent hard-on. Thank God.

Trevor's parents had always told him to be whoever he wanted to be, to be himself and only himself, to see himself however he chose. But he knew how the rest of the world saw him, and that clouded his judgment.

White people looked at him and saw a black guy.

Black people said, "He's not black, and he's not one of us."

They wouldn't let him be a certain way, or they pushed him into being another way.

The beautiful thing was that in O-Town, the guys saw Trevor. They didn't care about labels. That was what had been most cutting about what Jacob had said. Jacob calling him that was, between them, the same as him calling Ashley a fairy, or a faggot, or anything else. It was offensive, it was demeaning, and it was a label. It made Ashley The Gay One, and him The Black One, and Erik The Latino One. They weren't about that. Ashley was bi, and he was mixed, and that was part of who they were. But they were so many other things that their friendship wasn't about those distinctions at all.

Black girls had trouble dating him because he was mixed, and there were too many socio-political issues there. White girls weren't always sure what to expect from him. Come on; he knew how to treat white women. His own mother was white. He was half-white.

But only half.

Half this, half that.

Not whole.

Except with O-Town. He was whole there. They made him feel complete. And equal. Entirely equal. The five of them were very different people. He'd never been anyone but Trevor to them.

Dan respected his sensitivity. Dan respected everything about him.

Dan was one of those people who could date anyone, no matter who she was or where she was from, and pull it off without a hitch. It was all in Dan's confidence and Dan's assumption that things would work out.

Dan could probably even date a guy if he wanted to.

Even a mixed guy.

If he wanted to.

Dan had taught Trevor that if he wanted something to happen, he had to make it happen. So if he wanted Dan, he had to go and get Dan. He shouldn't count on anyone else to do it for him, or for it to fall into his lap by accident. God helped those who helped themselves.

Trevor was going to help himself to a little bit of Dan.

The next morning, Ashley turned off the water and pushed aside the shower curtain, reaching for his towel. He shouted and almost fell, grabbing for a handhold.

Erik handed him a towel. "You need to learn to lock doors."

"What are you doing here?!" Ashley asked, wrapping the towel around his waist like Erik had never seen him naked before. Oh, god, what was he going to do when they were back on tour and he had to see Jacob naked?

"What are you going to do about Jacob?"

"What? Nothing." Ashley stepped out onto the bath mat and scuffed his feet a little.

"Nothing? Either he's going to find out or you're going to be drooling-at-the-mouth crazy from trying to hide it."

Ashley swallowed. "I'm fine. It's going to be fine. How does everybody know about this?"

"Number one, we know you. Letter b, you suck at hiding things."

There was a knock at the door. "What are you doing in there?"

"Having a tea party," Erik called. "What do you want?"

"Guess."

"Use the other bathroom."

"Trevor's in there."

"Kick him out."

"I'm coming in."

Ashley wanted to jump back into the tub and hide behind the shower curtain. The knob turned, and Jacob came in. "You need to learn to lock doors."

"So I've been told," Ashley said.

"Showering is a group activity?" Jacob asked.

"Spectator sport," Erik said.

"Urinating isn't, so get out," Jacob said.

"Okay. Have fun. Nice pecs, by the way," Erik said, and left.

Jacob glanced at Ashley's chest.

Ashley crossed his arms, suddenly shy.

Jacob half-laughed, half-snorted, and lifted the toilet seat with his foot.

"I'll just, uh..." Ashley clutched at his towel and left quickly, dripping down the hallway to his room.

Trevor walked up behind Dan and wrapped his arms around Dan's shoulders, his chest against Dan's back. "What are you doing today?"

"Vacuuming," Dan said. "So if you have a better idea, I'm all for it."

Trevor turned Dan around to face him. "Erik can vacuum. We're going out."

"If we can get Jacob to do the vacuuming, you've got a deal."

"I'm on it." Trevor jogged down the hallway to Ashley's room. "I'm going out with Dan, but he won't go unless I can get you to do something for me."

Ashley was prepared to help out Trevor's cause, just as Trevor'd known he'd be. "What do you need?"

"Vacuum."

"Me?"

"You. Okay?"

"Okay," Ashley said, having his doubts but wanting to help.

"Great." Trevor went back to Dan.

Dan was right in the middle of changing clothes. "I don't know where we're going, but wherever it is, my housecleaning clothes won't cut it."

Trevor admired the smooth, pale skin of Dan's back. "Wear whatever you want."

"You didn't get Jacob to agree to vacuum, did you?" Dan asked, finding a shirt.

"I got Ashley to agree to vacuum," Trevor said.

Dan laughed. "We'll be coming home to a spick-and-span house."

Trevor grinned. They both knew that Ashley couldn't clean, but would agree to do it. Jacob was the master when it came to cleaning - - when that boy got started, the place ended up looking like it was ready for a magazine cover photograph, or a hospital inspection. But Jacob almost never volunteered to clean. So to get Jacob to clean, they always had to get Ashley or Erik to start. Jacob would get so fed up with them, he'd take over.

It was weird, the things Trevor had learned about these people through living with them. The way they ate, their weird morning rituals, the way they washed their clothes, their sleeping habits. Whether at home or in a hotel, Jacob had nightmares unless he slept with a candle burning. Dan always bought Charmin and wouldn't use anything else, so now they all bought Charmin. Erik picked at his toenails until his toes bled, so they made him keep his socks on all of the time. Ashley threw up when he ate lime Jell-O. Not cherry or orange; just lime. They'd made him eat it once, just to see for themselves. It was true. Bizarre, and gross to see, but true.

Dan checked his hair. "Where are we going?"

Trevor held out his hand. "Come and find out."

Ashley hadn't planned on cleaning today, but if it freed up Dan to go out with Trevor, he'd do it.

Trevor had mentioned vacuuming specifically, so he'd start there. He'd do the living room first. As he got out the vacuum cleaner, he tried to remember the rules. After running it over the floor, he was supposed to put on one of the attachments and clean around the corners, the baseboards, and whatever crevices he could find. No, he was supposed to tidy up first. Put everything in the room where it belonged.

Cups, plates, and silverware in the kitchen. Junk in the bedrooms. Trash, trash, trash. Remote controls where they belonged. Throw pillows in place. Vacuum cleaner plugged in and on.

He didn't know how anyone could be bad at cleaning. He tried to pay attention to the details of it. He just wasn't very good. He liked watching Jacob clean, though. Jacob was quick and very thorough. Jacob got fierce about it, like the dirt and clutter were personal insults. Jacob could live in the dirt and clutter as long as the rest of them, but when it was time to clean, it was time to clean. Jacob kicked some dust mite ass.

Ashley could picture him now. Impatience in his eyes, hair back under a bandanna, finishing up with the vacuuming. He'd turn off the vacuum cleaner and shove it aside in one quick movement, reaching for a dust rag with the other hand. Jacob got intense about things. When he cleaned, he didn't just put the magazines in a tidy stack and wash a few plates. He got out the furniture polish, he got out the toilet brush, he washed the windows. But Jacob was that way about a lot of things. He didn't do a rushed surface job to get things to look right. He went in there and worked, even pushed and fought a little, to make it right for real.

"Ash. Ash. Ashley!"

Ashley kicked at the button to turn off the vacuum, then looked over at Jacob. "What?"

"What are you doing?"

"Cleaning."

"Why?"

"Trevor and Dan had to go out, and they asked me to do it for them."

Jacob closed his eyes and shook his head.

"I'm doing a good job here," Ashley said. "How hard is it to run a vacuum?"

"Does this have to be done?" Jacob asked, opening his eyes again.

"Not in the cosmic sense, but yeah."

"Okay. Look, if you want to clean, go in the kitchen and run the dishwasher."

"You don't have to-"

"I'm only doing this room, the kitchen, and the bathrooms. You can look after your own bedroom yourself."

"Thanks."

"Right." Jacob held out one hand for the vacuum cleaner.

Ashley loaded the dishwasher and started it up, then watched Jacob clean. He liked Jacob's hands, and now he got to see them at work. He checked out Jacob's ass every time Jacob leaned over. Jacob was so...efficient.

God, Ashley wanted to know what he was like in bed.

Jacob was trying to come through the doorway. "Either get out of the way or help me."

"What do you want me to do?" Ashley asked.

Jacob pushed the vacuum cleaner at him. "Put this away, get the Windex, and meet me in the bathroom."

"Okay."

Jacob looked at him. "Are you okay?"

Very okay. More than okay. He was alone with Jacob in the house. "Yeah. Why?"

"You keep staring at me. You must have something better to do than watch me clean."

"I guess not," Ashley said, and smiled.

"Since it doesn't seem too serious, this time, I'll let you charm your way out of it. But if I have to ask you again, I want a real answer."

Jacob thought that he was charming. Ashley's smile grew.

Jacob's eyes narrowed.

Ashley tried to look innocent.

Jacob patted his chest. "Let's go. We have two more rooms to do. And then the windows."

"Windows?"

"Windows. You're helping." Jacob's hand left his chest and Jacob walked away from him. Ashley put his hand where Jacob's had been. Palm here, fingers splayed here, thumb there. Jacob's thumb had been about an inch from his nipple. If Jacob's thumb had been over just a little bit...

Ashley wanted to have sex with Jacob.

In the bathroom, against the wall, right beside the shiny-clean sink.

God, he wanted to take Jacob.

"Hey, I'm..." Erik stopped.

Ashley dropped his hand and tried to compose himself, like he hadn't been rubbing his nipple, breathing hard, fantasizing about taking Jacob. Taking Jacob in the bathroom, in his bed, in Jacob's bed. On the bus. In the kitchen. He pulled the vacuum cleaner closer, in front of his hard-on.

"If you and the Dirt Devil need some time to yourselves, I can go out again," Erik said.

"It's a Hoover," Ashley said.

"Obviously you're a lot closer to it than I am," Erik said.

"I... Jacob needs Windex."

"Looks like you have a few needs of your own."

Ashley's nipples ached. "Shut up." He rubbed his forehead.

"Why don't I get the Windex for him while you go to your room and...have some time alone."

"No," Ashley said too quickly. He couldn't. Jacob had asked him to do something, expected things of him, and he didn't want to let Jacob down.

"You need help," Erik said.

"I know." He needed Jacob. He could imagine being in bed with Jacob, snuggled up facing each other, Jacob's arm around his waist, Jacob talking to him. He wanted to rub his nose against Jacob's and feel Jacob's love. He didn't have to be Ashley Angel, O-Town heartthrob. He could be Ashley Angel, Jacob's boyfriend. Jacob's lover. Jacob's bitch.

Under normal circumstances, Jacob would want a friend, an equal. But there was something about him, Ashley, in particular, that Jacob liked to have slightly subservient. Maybe because he was naive and idealistic. Maybe because Jacob had a few issues, too.

But now Ashley's thoughts were entertaining the idea that Jacob would ever return his interest, and that wasn't true. Jacob didn't want him. He was Jacob's friend. He was never going to be Jacob's lover.

Ashley shoved the vacuum at Erik. "I'll be in my room." He couldn't have Jacob. He wasn't going to have Jacob. But he was about to have his very first Jacob jack-off fantasy.

Want more? Keep reading...

MatthewHaldemanTime.com