banner by Vanessa
Copyright July 30-August 10, 2003 by Matthew Haldeman-Time
Rating: NC-17
Pairing: JC Chasez/Drew Lachey
Disclaimer: The young men who comprise *NSYNC and 98 Degrees are their own people. The author has not met anyone here described, nor does the author mean to suggest that these people act this way in real life. This writing is a work of fiction. I make no money from this venture.
Dedication: This one is for JC and Drew.
Notice: I've checked, double-checked, and triple-checked for three years, and yes, JC and Drew both were born August 8, 1976.
January 28th also seems to be popular: Nick Carter, 1980; Joey Fatone, 1977; Elijah Wood, 1981.
“Clothes may be your best bet,” Nick said. “JC will wear anything.”
“There are too many choices. I wouldn’t know where to start,” Drew said.
“Jewelry?” Nick suggested.
Drew felt a quick lift of hope, then sighed. “No. He has weird taste in jewelry. He’s been wearing dimestore stuff.”
“Music. Books. Wine,” Nick suggested.
“I don’t know. He doesn’t need anything.”
They took a left at men’s shoes.
“I think we’re in the wrong store,” Nick said.
“I think I’m shopping for the wrong person,” Drew said. “JC has money. He can buy himself whatever he wants whenever he wants it. And he’s so complex, I’m afraid that anything I get him… Maybe I’ll just pretend I forgot it was his birthday.”
“Oh, that’s likely,” Nick said.
Drew saw a young woman do a double-take, and tugged Nick down the next aisle and deep into men’s jeans. Cowardly, but he was here on a mission, and being sighted would throw off his focus. On the other hand, if she were a fan, she might be a fan of *NSYNC, and maybe she would’ve had some idea of what JC might like for his birthday.
“Is he still seeing that guy?” Nick asked.
“Which guy?” Drew asked. He wondered what size jeans JC wore. It would be a pathetic, desperate gift, but at least it would be a gift.
“The one with the hair.”
Drew was tempted to point out that most of JC’s flings had hair, except for Derek, the bald one with the lisp, but he resisted the urge. “The blond frizz?”
“Yeah, him.”
“Jarrod. I think so.” JC never actually kept a real, long-term boyfriend. When JC made a friend, JC made a friend, and was all about that person from that time forward. When JC got a real boyfriend, that person would probably be his long-term lover. But so far, it had been a slow series of “the one with the hair,” “the one with the shoes,” or “Tim? Tony? Yeah, him.”
Nick chuckled. “If he’s still seeing Jarrod, you might want to get him a few therapy sessions for his birthday.”
Drew laughed, too.
“Maybe you should just get him a new boyfriend,” Nick suggested as they wound their way back past women’s petite.
“What, find a guy, stick a bow on his head, and hand him over?” Drew asked.
“Well, if he’s cute,” Nick said, shrugging, and gave him a grin.
“It is something he could use,” Drew said. “I assume it’s something he might enjoy.” He cast Nick a look of suspicion. “Is this what you’re planning for my birthday? Are you interviewing attractive young women to see if they’d look good in gift wrap?”
“No, I got you a crossword puzzle book,” Nick said.
“Oh. That was thoughtful,” Drew said.
“Yeah, I left some of the puzzles for you,” Nick said.
Drew laughed.
“Hi, it’s Drew,” Drew said. “What are you getting JC for his birthday?”
“Hell if I know,” Chris said. “I’m starting to look into buying him an elephant out of panicked desperation.”
Great. Well, “What’s everybody else getting him?”
“Joey’s gift is a little more X-rated than usual this year. Justin, I don’t know, he was talking about some rare valuable special edition personally autographed thing from Michael Jackson or Prince or Billy Ray Cyrus or somebody. Lance is buying some fancy-schmancy painting from some artist JC was rambling about.”
“Great.”
“Yeah, the competition’s getting fierce.”
“Let me know if that elephant thing works out.”
“Want to go halvsies on a
giraffe?”
They sat outside, on the low brick wall of the patio, as the sun began to set behind them. JC ran his hand through his hair. “Almost your birthday, man,” he said, and grinned. “Looking forward to it?”
“Yeah,” Drew said. “I figure twenty-seven’s going to be my year. It’ll give me a chance to do something with my life, finally.”
“Yeah,” JC said. “Up until now it’s been pretty uneventful for you.”
“I thought maybe I’d take the winter off, go on a trip somewhere. I’ve never really gotten a chance to see the world.”
JC was laughing.
“What about you?” Drew asked. “You have all of this solo stuff taking off, and then getting back together with the guys. Should be a big year for you.”
“Every year’s a big year for me,” JC said. “They just get bigger and bigger.”
“How’s the personal side of things?” Drew asked. “Are you still seeing Jarrod?”
“No,” JC said. “He’s back in Atlanta. There’s David, he’s a dancer, but I don’t know if I’m going to call him.”
Drew nodded. They didn’t talk about JC’s personal life a lot. No, they didn’t talk about JC’s sex life a lot. He wasn’t sure which level of information was too much, and neither was JC, so they tended to step around the subject carefully, doing a self-conscious balancing act.
“You seeing anyone?” And there it was, that careful blue-eyed gaze, cautious and hesitant, at the same time JC’s voice was either too casual or not enough. It made Drew self-aware every time: aware of the distance between their bodies, and was it too much or not enough?; aware of himself as a man, his body, his physical self; aware of himself as a sexually active being, as a sexually attractive being. JC wanted him. JC always had wanted him, right from the start, right from that first hazel-to-blue connection, right from that first handshake. JC wanted him more every year.
“No,” he said.
Usually it was something he could overlook, because it wasn’t something JC made an issue of. He wasn’t even sure JC knew that he knew. JC stayed so quiet about it, most of the time Drew honestly forgot about it, or at least told himself he’d forgotten about it. Besides, they were friends, they’d been friends for years, and there was no reason to make a big issue out of it.
He knew gay men. When he thought about it, he knew quite a few, almost all professionally. Sometimes they looked at him, and he’d realize that he was actually being checked out by another man. Which was weird. He wasn’t even sure what they were looking for, although usually they seemed pleased with whatever they saw, which was disturbing, because he had no idea what they thought he had to offer them.
He’d caught Lance checking Nick out a few times, and he had no idea what Lance would want with Nick, especially since Nick was so oblivious, there was no chance he’d return the favor.
When guys checked him out, they tended to have this look in their eyes. The same look Jeff got when he looked at women. Drew knew that look. If guys were looking at him, and thinking the same things about him that Jeff thought about women… That was both creepy and frightening. It freaked him out, to be honest, which was why he tried not to think about it.
He wondered if JC thought those things about him. Those “I wonder what you’d look like naked on my dick” things.
“Are you okay?” JC asked.
“What do you look for?” he asked, bringing his attention back to JC, back to the present. “When you look at guys.”
JC seemed surprised, but willing to answer his question. “Different things. A smile, a good smile, a real smile, even if it’s more in his eyes than his mouth. Some kind of spark of intelligence. Someone who’s interested in things, likes to do things and talk about things and experience things. Someone who takes care of himself. Someone who has his own thing going, his own plans.”
“Most of that you can’t tell at first glance,” Drew said.
“That’s why I don’t get interested at first glance,” JC said. “I take the opportunity to get to talk to people before I decide whether or not to take serious time with them.”
No, that wasn’t right. That wasn’t true. “Then you’ve never seen someone for the first time across a room and bing, that’s it?”
“I…” JC stopped talking, which was not a JC thing to do. It took a moment for him to get started again. “It’s happened.”
With him. It had happened with him, between the two of them. JC slipped down to stand, turning to the sunset, and Drew felt sick with himself for pushing for things he knew he didn’t want.
That first meeting, that first glance, that instant connection, before they’d even been introduced, that snap in the air between them, that spark.
It had meant something different
for Drew than it had for JC, but it had still meant something, regardless.
Something like, here. Here, this is JC, a man who will be a central
figure in the plot of your life. He didn’t know what role JC was
going to play. He didn’t know what event JC would be the catalyst
for. But they’d remained friends ever since, with this thing, this
thread, this possibility between them.
Bracelets
Necklaces
CD’s
Production equipment
New car
Gift certificate
Boyfriend
Giraffe
Everything was crossed out, because it was all either not enough, too much, or just plain stupid. The giraffe was starting to sound good, though.
He couldn’t show up empty-handed. He couldn’t say he’d forgotten it was JC’s birthday. He couldn’t skip the party. He had to get JC something. Something. Anything.
Maybe he would get JC a boyfriend.
Not that he was even sure he could find someone worthy. Was there anyone he’d ever be able to present to JC with a clear conscience? Personally, he kept thinking that JC should be with someone else like JC: tall, slender, muscular, and regal. There was something mysteriously enigmatic about JC that it was hard for Drew to get his hands on, something uniquely JC.
It would have to be someone intelligent. Someone with something to offer, talents and aspirations. And it would have to be someone insanely attractive.
Drew couldn’t think of anyone remotely close to that description, who was worthy of JC. Maybe he didn’t know enough gay men. Maybe he didn’t know enough interesting people. Maybe he was being too picky.
Definitely, he was being too picky.
But it was JC.
JC, who…
Blue eyes crinkling in the corners when JC smiled.
Who was worthy of that?
“Chris?”
“The one and only.”
“It’s Drew.”
“You’re coming to JC’s party, right?”
“Yeah.”
“What are you wearing?”
“Uh… I don’t know.” He looked down at himself, like that would help. “Something reasonably nice.”
“Nick’s still in town?”
“Yeah, he’s-”
“Get him to dress you. What’s going on?”
One would think he’d be used to Chris by now. “Do you have any idea what you’re getting for JC?”
“Yes! Yes, in fact, I have the perfect gift. I spoke him with him at length, I probed his mind and searched his heart and peered into his ears and scoped his bowels, and I have the ideal, once-in-a-lifetime, most perfect gift ever for one Joshua Scott Chasez.”
“What is it?” Drew asked, finally feeling real hope.
“I can’t tell you.”
Hope shattered at Drew’s feet. “Can you give me a hint?”
“No, I cannot.”
“Can you give me a suggestion for what I can give him?”
“Ah. Yes, yes, I believe that I can,” Chris said slowly, as if something were occurring to him. “You help me with my gift. We’ll give it to him together.”
“What is it?”
“I can’t tell you that,” Chris said, as though Drew were slow-witted.
“You can’t tell me what it is, but you’re letting me join in on it?”
“Yes. We’ll hand it over after the party.”
“All right,” Drew said. It was better than nothing. He tried to remember that he trusted Chris. “Thanks a lot. I really appreciate it.”
“No trouble at all,” Chris
said. “Remember, make sure Nick dresses you. Maybe Jeff, too,
if he’s around.” With that, Chris hung up.
Tonight was JC’s private party.
Nick was going through Drew’s closet, strewing clothes all over his bed.
“I hope you know you’re putting all of this away,” Drew said, standing out of the way.
“You’re twenty-seven now. I think you’re old enough to put away your own clothes,” Nick said. “When are you going to get a real closet?”
“By real, you mean a walk-in closet large enough to be my bedroom?” Drew asked.
“Yes,” Nick said. “What about this?”
“That looks like something you would wear,” Drew said.
“It’s from your closet,” Nick pointed out. He grinned. “I always knew you wanted to be just like me.”
“What, self-centered and impossible?” Drew asked.
“Try it on,” Nick said, tossing it to him. The doorbell rang. Since it was Jeff, that was a mere formality; a moment later, Jeff walked into the bedroom, carrying a garment bag over one shoulder. He kissed the corner of Nick’s mouth and looked at Drew. “What is this?”
“What’s what?” Drew asked, crossing his arms over his chest.
“You’re not ready.”
“He stopped trying stuff on twenty minutes ago,” Nick told Jeff.
“That’s okay, because I have the solution to all of your problems,” Jeff said, laying the garment bag out on the bed and unzipping it.
Drew rubbed his forehead. Jeff had bought him clothes. That wasn’t safe. He knew he shouldn’t have taken Chris’s advice.
“The pants are set, but I got a few different shirts,” Jeff said. “Here, get started.”
“I’d prefer to wear my own clothes,” Drew said.
“I’d prefer that you put this on,” Jeff said with a cool smile.
“What’d you get?” Nick asked. “Nice.” He studied the pants. “Drew, put these on.”
Jeff’s cool smile slid into a smirk.
Drew gave Jeff his best “you’re lucky Nick loves you, sucker” glare and started to strip. While Jeff and Nick conferred over the shirts, he got down to his underwear and reached for the pants.
Black leather.
How original.
“I have leather pants,” Drew said.
“Put them on,” Nick said briefly, and dismissed him, turning back to Jeff.
Nick and Jeff were extremely annoying. Drew didn’t know why he allowed them into his home. When he was alone with Nick, he was fine. When Justin was there, he was fine. When it was just Nick and Jeff, all of a sudden he was Nick’s little brother. He blamed Jeff.
Nick and Jeff had this weird…thing. A deeper understanding. Nick was straight. Jeff was straight. But they had this relationship, this…romance. They’d been lovers for years, which was crazy, because they never gave any other guy on the planet a second look. They were the exception to each other’s rule.
Maybe sometimes, friendship itself didn’t go deep enough.
They still dated women, had girlfriends, the whole nine yards. It was like their own relationship functioned outside of that, independent of their other desires. They didn’t have a label for what they had, they just…lived it.
Drew got the pants up to his knees and hesitated.
“What?” Nick asked, giving him some attention again.
“What size are these?” Drew asked.
“Suck it up,” Jeff said.
“Suck what up?” Drew asked.
“Come here,” Jeff said, with a sigh and a mutter. He pushed Drew’s hands out of the way and peeled the leather up over Drew’s thighs.
Drew winced and adjusted himself. “Now what?”
“Now you suck it in,” Jeff said.
“Suck what in?” Drew demanded, looking down at his abs.
“Hold your breath,” Jeff instructed. “Wait, this won’t work. You have to take those off.”
“Take what off?” Drew asked. He wasn’t wearing anything.
“Your underwear.”
Drew gave Jeff a long look, waiting for him to take it back.
“It’s not going to fit,” Jeff explained. “Don’t you have anything…smaller?”
Nick burst into laughter.
Drew tried to maintain a straight face.
Jeff rolled his eyes and pushed them both out of the way, going to Drew’s dresser.
Nick managed to compose himself.
“Minds in the gutter,” Jeff said to himself.
Nick caught Drew’s eye and started laughing again.
“What are you doing?” Drew asked Jeff.
“Got it,” Jeff said in triumph, and turned with something in his hand.
A thong.
“No,” Drew said. “No.”
“What are you doing with that?” Nick demanded of Drew.
“Nothing,” Drew said. “It was a, I, nothing!”
“What’s the big deal? You have three,” Jeff said to Nick.
Drew did not need to know that.
“Put it on,” Jeff said.
“I am not wearing pants so tight I have to adjust my comfort level to put them on,” Drew said.
“Put it on,” Jeff repeated, holding it out to him.
Drew snatched it from Jeff’s hand just so it wouldn’t be dangling there in the air.
“Go ahead,” Jeff said.
“What, are you going to watch me?” Drew demanded, embarrassed.
Jeff gave an amused snort and turned his back.
Nick raised his hands and turned his back as well.
God. Drew stripped, then pulled on the thong, tucking himself in carefully. He’d only worn it once, because he didn’t think it was really him. He avoided looking anywhere near the mirror, not needing an image of his nearly naked body with his ass bare and a snow white thong snug over his parts.
God, this was embarrassing. Drew did some careful shimmying and a reverse banana peel, and got the damned leather pants up his thighs. “Okay, help,” he said. “These have to be three sizes too small.”
Nick and Jeff looked at each other.
“I’ll owe you,” Jeff said.
“You bought those pants,” Nick said.
“He’s your brother.”
“Ten bucks,” Nick said.
Jeff weighed his options.
“I’m taking them off,” Drew warned.
“Fine, okay,” Jeff said, and turned to face him. There was a second where amusement flickered in Jeff’s eyes, before Drew got the “I always knew I picked the wrong brother” lecherous grin.
Drew was tempted to smack him.
“Hold your breath,” Jeff said, like they hadn’t gone over this part. Together, they began to pull and tug. “Was your ass always this fat?” Jeff demanded.
“Yes, it was, and you can just kiss it,” Drew muttered.
“Nick, a little help, here?” Jeff asked.
“Nice of you to admit your incompetency,” Drew said.
“Nice of you to admit you want me to kick you in the-”
“You know you love each other,” Nick said. “And you both owe me for this.”
“I think everybody should be owing me for putting these damned pants on,” Drew said.
“Ready?” Jeff asked, ignoring that. Jeff in front, Nick behind, Drew’s hands on the sides, Jeff counted, “One, two, three, pull!”
The pants were up over Drew’s ass and hips.
“One question, brilliant,” Drew said. “How do we get them zipped?”
“Lay down,” Jeff said. “That’s how women start.”
“How many women have you watched get dressed?” Drew asked.
Jeff grinned. “Ask me how many women I’ve undressed.”
Drew didn’t even want to get into a discussion of Jeff’s womanizing tendencies, so he lay down on the bed. “Now what?”
“Hold on.” Jeff came around the other side of the bed, kneeling by his head, and tugged the edges of the fly together, holding them at the waistband. “Go ahead.”
Drew sucked in his stomach, prayed for his dick, and pulled up the zipper.
“You got it,” Nick said, sounding impressed.
“I can’t breathe,” Drew whispered hoarsely.
“You’re fine,” Jeff said.
“You’ll get used to them,” Nick assured him.
“There is no circulation in my lower extremities,” Drew said.
“Stop feeling sorry for yourself and get up already,” Jeff said, sorting through shirts. “Dark blue, dark green, black, or-”
“Is that silver?” Drew asked in horror.
“Silver it is!” Jeff declared
with a proud smile.
Jeff would never be welcome in Drew’s home again.
The pants were so tight, they didn’t just cling to Drew’s lower body, they didn’t just hug him, they were almost a literal second skin. They’d molded to him so closely, in some insane way, it was like being naked.
The shirt was a whole other story. Round-necked, sleeveless, his favorite. Also shimmering silver, which certainly was not his favorite. The fabric was curiously soft, which helped slightly, but Drew still felt like a renegade space invader.
His hair looked okay. He’d cut it again, and Jeff had spiked it up decently, so at least that wasn’t shaming him. The shoes he wasn’t crazy about, but they’d been a compromise; he’d wanted something quiet and black, and Jeff had wanted something that made him taller.
His dick couldn’t wait to get out of those pants, his balls were sweating, the shirt kept rubbing him oddly and making his nipples hard, and he was getting paranoid about having nothing between his ass and the world but one layer. At least with real underwear, there was more of a shield.
Maybe this humiliation was his punishment for not having a present for JC.
Maybe Jeff just liked to embarrass him.
As soon as he got home from this party, he was going to start nasty rumors about Jeff on the Internet.
JC’s official private party was first, in the back room of Onyx. After that, the real private party would be back at JC’s house.
Drew couldn’t imagine being so Hollywood he’d need a public party, a private party, and a private-private party. Then again, he wasn’t JC.
A privately commissioned Escalade came to pick him up, dropping him off in the back of the club. He went inside and was shown to the back room. The place was sparkling with strobe. People were grinding on the dance floor and writhing on couches. He took a glass of champagne and walked along the edge, in the safe zone between the grinding and the writhing.
“Hey, Drew!” Joey clapped him on the shoulder. “Happy twenty-seven.”
“Thanks,” Drew said. “How are you doing?”
“Can’t complain,” Joey said with a grin. “JC’s in the back.”
Drew moved in the direction Joey had pointed, pausing to greet a few people along the way. A pretty girl grabbed his ass, but since that wasn’t his preferred method of introducing himself, he kept walking.
“Hey. Drew.” Lance toasted him. “Happy birthday.”
“Thanks,” Drew said. With the way Lance’s eyes were working their way over his body, he was beginning to realize that he was dressed like… What were they called now? Rent boys? Hustlers? He was going to kill Jeff. “Have you seen JC?”
“He’s…busy.”
Oh. Oh. Happy birthday, JC. Drew couldn’t have felt any less comfortable at that moment.
“Did you get anything good this year?” Lance asked.
Lance was standing too close to him, and the look in Lance’s eyes, Drew knew that look, that was the “I want to be fucking you this very second” look that Jeff gave women. That idea was not inside Drew’s comfort zone, not even close, and he wanted to be anywhere except in conversation with Lance at the moment. But his escape plan was null and void, because his only excuse was to greet JC, and JC was, was, god, Drew had to get the hell out of there.
He knew JC had sex, gay sex, sex with men. He knew that. But it had never happened like this, JC had never done it in a building he was in at the time he was there. JC was having sex that very second, at that moment, with another man.
He didn’t know what the idea was freaking him out, but it was. It shouldn’t have been, because Nick and Jeff had sex, and he’d been around that often enough. It was just that, they were different, they were Nick and Jeff, they were in love, it wasn’t casual sex, it wasn’t cheap, it wasn’t…
It wasn’t JC.
JC and casual sex, JC and a string of men, it wasn’t right, it wasn’t right. JC was more special than that; JC deserved better than that. JC was brilliant, god, JC was special, didn’t they see it? Didn’t anyone recognize that? He’d known it that first second, he’d known it immediately. Why was he the only one?
“Excuse me,” he said to Lance, “I think I’m going to be sick.”
That was sufficiently startling, and sufficiently unsexy, to get that look out of Lance’s eyes. In a matter of seconds, Lance handed him off to Chris, who knew where the bathroom was.
That was also where JC was.
Drew took one look at JC, fixing his hair, and one look at the guy who’d just been with JC, smoothing down his shirt, and barely made it to the toilet.
Drew spat, flushed, and sat back on his heels. He wiped sweat from his forehead, closing his eyes.
“You don’t look so good,” Chris said.
“I’m okay,” he said, wishing it were true. Slowly, he got up and crossed to the sinks, where he rinsed his mouth.
“Are you sure?” JC asked, coming in close, sounding concerned.
“Yeah.”
“Drink this,” Chris said, handing him a glass of something. Scotch? Drew swallowed some, figuring it couldn’t hurt. “Nice shirt,” Chris added.
“I like it,” JC said.
“That should tell you how bad it is,” Chris said.
Someone came in. “Hey, JC, Justin’s here.”
“I’ll see you later,” JC said to Drew, giving a gentle squeeze to his arm, making sure to get eye contact, like he really did want to make sure they talked.
“Yeah,” Drew said.
JC nodded, lingered, then left.
“You sure you’re feeling okay?” Chris asked.
“Yeah,” Drew lied, taking another drink. “How much do I owe you for the present?”
“We’ll sort it out later,” Chris said. “Those pants do great things for your ass.”
“Thanks.”
He didn’t know what was wrong with him, but he also didn’t want to know.
JC found him, maybe two hours later, and tried to find some privacy. They sat on a couch in the back corner, in semi-darkness. “Are you okay?” JC asked.
“Yeah, whatever it was, I’m fine,” Drew said.
“How was your party?”
“Good,” Drew said. “Nothing like this. Pin the tail on the donkey, little paper hats…”
“Why do you do that?” JC asked.
“Do what?”
“Make it seem like you’re nobody.”
“I’m not exactly Madonna,” Drew said.
“You’re somebody, you’ve been places, you’ve done things, you’ve achieved success, fame, popularity, wealth-”
“I peaked,” Drew said. “I have hit my peak, and it was nice while it lasted. You, you’re just launching into bigger things now, as we speak.”
“You have not hit your peak,” JC said. “You can do anything you want to do.”
“Maybe I don’t want anything bigger.”
“That’s bullshit. I know you. You can have anything you want. You’re smart, Drew, you’re smarter than this, and you have talent-”
“Shut up, JC, shut up and enjoy your fucking birthday.”
“It’s your birthday, too!”
“My birthday was yesterday.
So was yours. And guess which one of us is still having the party?”
Drew stood. “Like I said, enjoy your fucking birthday.” He
walked away.
He didn’t see the guy from
the bathroom again. It had been such a casual fuck the guy hadn’t
even stayed.
Only certain people were allowed to get into certain Escalades. Chris steered Drew into one, and they were taken to JC’s house.
This party was a lot smaller. There were only a dozen of them there, including *NSYNC. All of them were JC’s friends, JC’s real friends; no former sex partners had been invited.
What did that say about JC’s romantic relationships?
JC approached him quietly. Didn’t say anything, just looked at him.
“I’m sorry,” Drew said. “I’m having a weird night, and I took it out on you. I didn’t mean to mess up your party.”
“It’s okay,” JC said. “Weird night?”
“Yeah.”
“I don’t know if this’ll help or not, but… Happy birthday,” JC said, handing him a small black velvet jewelry case.
“You didn’t have to… Thank you,” Drew said, inexplicably touched. He’d been agonizing over JC’s present, and it hadn’t occurred to him that JC would be giving him something. Like they didn’t do this every year. He cracked open the box. “Wow. This is nice.” He lifted out a sleekly masculine, hideously expensive watch. “Thank you.”
“I hope it’s not too much,” JC said.
“No, it’s great. It looks great.” Drew set down the box and put on the watch. “Looks good, don’t you think?”
“Looks great,” JC agreed, giving him that private, warm smile.
Drew’s night was going much,
much better.
“What’d that set you back,
a quarter mil?” Chris asked.
They drank, talked, danced, sang, and generally cavorted. Everyone made fun of JC, because that was standard operating procedure.
People started to leave, one by one.
Drew found himself outside on the back patio, sitting on the low stone wall with JC, again, his back to the night. It was cooler, and the wind toyed idly with JC’s hair.
“Who dressed you?” JC asked.
Drew laughed.
JC laughed, too. “No, man, I mean, you look great, you look awesome. I’ve just never seen you wear anything like this.”
“It was Jeff,” Drew admitted. “He did this to me. I’ll get him back for it.”
“Maybe you should let him do your wardrobe more often,” JC suggested.
There was a quick, fluttery tremor somewhere inside Drew that he didn’t want to examine too closely.
JC dropped his eyes, turning away slightly.
The breeze lifted JC’s hair again. Drew raised his hand, capturing a tendril between his fingers. “I don’t want what they have,” he heard himself say. He didn’t know where it came from, but suddenly, he understood what it meant. He understood what a lot of things meant.
“What who has?” JC asked, turning back to him.
Drew dropped his hand and met JC’s eyes. “Nick and Jeff. They’re in love, and nothing they have with anyone else will change that, but they still have other relationships. I don’t get that. I don’t want that. But you, and Lance, and - - is that how it is? With guys? Don’t you want a real relationship? What’s so damned bad about being exclusive?”
“Everyone is different,” JC said, speaking urgently and quickly, like he had something important to explain. “Everyone wants something different with his life. Some people don’t want to settle down with one person, but some people do. A lot of people do. I do, I want one person, one love. Nick and Jeff’s relationship is what they have, but it’s only one example.”
“Then why don’t you find someone? Settle down? Why are you wasting yourself on these - - they don’t appreciate you, JC. They aren’t good enough for you.”
JC looked at him, then leaned closer and-
“Hey,” Justin said, coming out through the sliding glass doors. “C, I gotta split. Chris is loose inside the house, though, so I’d get back inside if I were you, before he does some real damage.”
“Hey,” JC said, standing, embracing Justin. “Thanks for coming.”
“Thanks for sticking around for another year,” Justin said, returning the embrace. “You, too, happy birthday,” he said to Drew.
“Thanks,” Drew said. He always found it slightly uncomfortable, witnessing Justin’s personal battles with homophobia. Justin was trapped between wanting to distance himself, for personal and professional reasons, from even the slighest perception that he was gay, on the one hand; and on the other, having two actively gay best friends.
Sometimes Drew wondered why Justin cared so damned much.
It had to hurt JC’s feelings. JC was very magnanimous, very understanding and forgiving of slights against him, but that still had to hurt.
What he was doing to JC had to hurt, too. Suddenly Drew couldn’t stand that, couldn’t take that; JC shouldn’t be hurt by anyone, least of all him. He put his hand on JC’s arm, fingers curling over JC’s bicep, and pulled JC back from following after Justin. Justin kept going, and they were alone again.
“JC,” Drew said.
“I’m sorry,” JC said. “I shouldn’t have, I didn’t mean to.”
JC had meant to kiss him. JC had been leaning in to kiss him, when Justin had interrupted. JC had - - that was what JC was talking about, apologizing for. Drew’s chest heaved with sudden breath.
JC gracefully twisted his arm free from Drew’s grasp. “I won’t do it again,” and his lashes were lowered and he was turning away before Drew could interpret the look in his eyes. JC went back into the house.
Drew sagged back against
the stone wall. If the stones had given way beneath his weight and
he’d fallen, he couldn’t have felt more confused and torn and shredded.
He didn’t want what Nick and Jeff had.
He didn’t know what he wanted,
but every time he thought of JC, his heart lurched painfully in his chest.
He passed the wide table bearing Joey’s gifts: stacks of exotic condoms, piles of wildly assorted flavored lubricants, and rows of dildos and vibrators in every possible size, shape, and color, including one of ridiculously mammoth proportions that Joey had called “The Eviscerator.”
Chris was still there, in the dim light of the kitchen, eating caviar. “Want some?”
“No, thanks. Is JC… I wanted to say good-bye.”
“He’s in his room,” Chris said, gesturing down the hallway.
Drew paused. “What about his present?”
“I’m working on it,” Chris said.
Since it was Chris, Drew let it stand at that, and went to JC’s room. He knocked. “JC?”
A moment, and JC opened the door. “I thought you’d gone home.”
“Not without saying good-bye,” Drew said. “Can I come in?”
“Yeah, of course,” JC said, stepping back to allow him entrance.
Mindful of Chris’s presence, Drew closed the door. He didn’t know where to start. “There’s something about you, JC. You’re destined for this. That’s why you’ve been training for it all of your life.”
“So have you,” JC said.
“It may look that way, but do you know many kids to go a performing arts school and do nothing with it?”
“Do you know how many people go on world tours, sell out shows, go platinum-”
“All right, fine. But what now?”
“I don’t know,” JC said. “That’s up to you.”
It was, wasn’t it? “I won’t do it again.” It was up to him. Drew stepped forward, tilting up, and gently pressed his lips to JC’s.
For one long instant, there was immediate, intense erotic energy.
Then JC pulled away, breaking contact.
“It was my birthday yesterday,” Drew said, “and I didn’t get what I wanted for my birthday because I didn’t know I wanted it. I know now.”
JC shook his head. “You don’t-”
“If I see you with one more person who isn’t me, I’ll die,” Drew said, and kissed him again, his hands closing on JC’s shirt and pulling JC to his body. JC’s hands captured his hips, and he opened JC’s mouth with his tongue, delving inside. JC’s kiss was incredible, and JC’s hands were strong against his back, and he fisted one hand in the gorgeous curls brushing JC’s back.
“How much can I have, what can-”
“Anything,” Drew said fervently, “everything,” and he groaned at the electric sizzle of JC’s fingers against his skin as JC pulled up his shirt. The hard bulge of JC’s erection against his hip was new, unfamiliar, but Drew didn’t let it stop him. He couldn’t be scared. He’d known, always known since that first meeting, that JC would change his life.
Only when the bed met the backs of his legs did Drew realize that they’d been moving. He lay on his back, pulling JC over himself, inviting JC onto his body. JC’s kiss was hungry, starved for him, and he returned it passion for passion. He’d never known intensity like this anywhere else in his life, anywhere but with JC. With JC, it always had been there, quiet, simmering, waiting to be awakened.
It was awake now. Drew’s
fingers tugged at the laces of JC’s pants, and JC pushed his hands away,
snapping the laces and wrenching the pants open, breathing hot and rushed
against Drew’s ear. When Drew’s hand cupped the hard length of JC’s
erection through JC’s underwear, they both groaned, Drew’s thighs spreading
and hips rising, JC’s body shuddering. “Fuck me,” Drew whispered,
“fuck me.” JC ground against him, whispering back, “God, yes, fuck
me, fuck me.”
Drew’s thong had been irreparably torn.
Various flavors of lubricant were scattered over the bed.
Drew and JC were twined together, slowly rocking against each other, JC’s breathing faint and quick, Drew’s tongue on his nipples.
The phone rang.
Drew’s thighs tightened around JC’s as he rocked harder, tighter.
JC groaned, arching.
“This is JC. Leave a message.”
Beep!
Drew kissed JC’s mouth, coming against JC’s body with a lust-drenched groan.
“It’s Chris. Just making sure you liked your present.”
“Oh, god, Drew,” JC moaned as Drew pushed him onto his back, sliding down his body, mouth closing over the head of his erection.
“No details necessary,” Chris’s voice assured them. “Your eternal gratitude will suffice.” Click.
JC squeezed his eyes shut, feeling tension in every muscle in his body, jacking his hips up to ride his dick over Drew’s exquisitely powerful tongue. Drew sucked harder, harder, killing him with it. He cried out, suffering as he came.
Drew climbed back up over him, kissing him back to reality.
“Did you hear the phone ring?” JC asked a minute later, wrapped around Drew, tasting the sweat collecting above Drew’s collarbone.
“No,” Drew said, kissing behind JC’s ear up towards JC’s hairline.
“Hmm,” JC said, and promptly
forgot all about it as he spotted a new flavor of lube. “Want to
try raspberry?”