Destiny Part Twelve

Destiny, a story in 13 parts, sixth in the "Living" series

Rating: NC-17 for graphic male-male sex

Disclaimer: The young men who comprise 98 Degrees, the Backstreet Boys, and *NSYNC are their own people. The author has not met anyone here described, nor does the author mean to suggest that these people act this way in real life. This writing is a work of fiction. I make no money from this venture.

Dedication: This slashfic is for Ewan McGregor, the Savage Garden slashers, and anyone who's actually following this series. Thank you, Diamond, for giving me exactly the right word. Speaking of that: does anyone else associate Brian with the word "tremble?"

Notice: "Living" series: "I Need You Tonight," "Boy Lead the Way to Ecstasy," "Not Easy," "No One," and "Rest in Peace."

Destiny is everything. -"Set Adrift on Memory Bliss"

"Destiny" Part Twelve "We've been waiting so long, just can't hold it back no more."
-"We've Got It Goin' On"

Jeff was standing by the window when Nick came into the bedroom. The glow of the moon outlined his powerful body.

"Don't you ever do that to me again. Ever."

Nick knew every line of Jeff's body. The flex of every muscle. He'd memorized it all. Touched it all. Tasted it all. He'd spent almost two years now learning how to treat Jeff as his lover.

"You don't know what it did to me. What it did, what it's still doing, what it does to me. To hear you say..."

Before that, there had been months. Years. Of not having Jeff. Of getting to know Jeff. Of coming to love Jeff. Of seeing that gorgeous man, that incredible body, and not being able to touch. It had driven him out of his mind.

Jeff knew that he had a great body, and he was casual about displaying it. When they came offstage and Jeff was hot, he took off his shirt. It was that simple. And why not? But it had driven Nick to distraction. To have Jeff right there, close and casual, with all of that skin available yet not at all available, had made Nick's mouth water, Nick's palms itch. Jeff, of course, had had no idea.

"...that you don't love me."

One day he'd done it. Kissed Jeff. Gotten Jeff naked under his hands. Under his tongue. Learned Jeff's body for himself. Felt all of that power against his own body in a whole new way. Felt the earth move.

"When you fuck me tonight, you think about that."

He'd been making love to Jeff that day. He'd loved Jeff too much for what happened in that bed to be anything else. But he'd been certain, with heart-breaking surety, that Jeff had not loved him. That for Jeff, it was sex. Only sex, and nothing more. Maybe sex between friends. Maybe experimentation. But not love.

It had been love. Jeff had loved him. And he'd never known it.

He could have missed out on the most meaningful experience of his life. If he hadn't made that move that day, if he hadn't kissed Jeff, if he hadn't made clear his own love, if, if, if... If anything had gone differently, if he'd been too afraid, he might not have had Jeff at all. He might never have known that Jeff loved him.

And not to know that. Not to have Jeff's love. Not to feel...feel what he had the stunning privilege of feeling every moment of every day, that this man loved him...

What would it be like to hear that Jeff didn't love him?

And what could he do now that he'd hurt Jeff in this terrible way?

The last time they'd been alone in this room together, Jeff had scared him. Scared him badly. Seeing Jeff hurt that deeply...he'd never seen Jeff that angry. Jeff had never, ever been that angry with him. And he'd been afraid. Afraid of losing Jeff. Afraid that he'd caused too much damage.

When you fuck me tonight. Not make love, not have sex; fuck. Not when we fuck; when you fuck me.

Jeff turned away from the window and finished undressing, dropping his boxers in the laundry hamper. Naked, he laid down on the bed and gazed at the ceiling.

"I kissed Brian," Jeff said to no one in particular. "I kissed him, and it was great, I wanted him. I wanted him, and I was thinking, while I was kissing him, while he was under me, I was thinking, 'God, this man is incredible, Nick is going to love him.'"

Nick didn't know what to say.

Jeff shifted, drawing up one knee, scratching his stomach.

Scratching his scars.

Drew did that, too. Nick hadn't seen Justin do it. He thought that Jeff and Drew weren't even really aware that they were doing it. It wasn't exactly a nervous gesture, because it was too significant for that petty term. Sometimes it seemed as though they did it in moments of stress. He wasn't sure what it meant.

He hated it.

He was across the room and on the bed before he realized that he was in motion, gripping Jeff's hand. "Stop it."

Jeff stared at him.

He let go quickly, went into the bathroom, and closed the door.

He even had glitter on the tops of his feet.

This shower was going to take forever.

Drew had kept decorating him until they were out of glitter, then just sat there and played with it. Humming. That soft humming. The sound of Drew humming was going to make him hard for the rest of his life, he just knew it. And Drew had sort of stopped seeing him as a person. Like he was Drew's living Nick canvas. No talking, no sex, just humming and glitter and Nick's body.

It hadn't been about sex.

His lover had been dusting his naked body with glitter and it hadn't been about sex.

How insane was that?

But it hadn't been, really. It had been erotic, yeah, totally erotic, completely erotic, one of the most incredibly erotic things that Nick had ever thought of in his life. But it had been intimate. And intensely private. Like Drew's special time. Drew's chance to explore Drew's sexuality. And no way was Nick going to fuck with that.

Nick respected Drew. Drew could do whatever he wanted, in bed or out of it. Especially in bed. And Nick wouldn't deny him anything.

He wanted Drew to be comfortable in bed. He wanted to encourage Drew to try things. And if these were the sorts of things that Drew wanted to try, hell yes, Nick was all for it.

Drew was kinky in all of the very best ways.

Glitter on his thighs. Not the special places, though. Because he did not need that stuff getting ground into anything sensitive. He'd heard horror stories. Sensible Drew hadn't tried.

And that soft, dreamy, "Mmm, make love to him."

When Drew hit the zone, Nick's world got much, much better. He loved Drew in the zone. He loved getting Drew there and then letting Drew take over.

He was sure that there was glitter all over the bed now. And there was definitely glitter all over Brian.

Damn it damn it damn it, glitter on Brian and Drew in the zone and why the fuck was he in the shower and missing all of the good stuff?!

He wondered if he could get Drew to make a glitter Brian for him.

What color?

Blue. Blue glitter. Definitely.

Screw the shower.

Nick turned off the water hurriedly and dried off, mostly, sort of, getting glitter on the towel, before running back to the bedroom.

Drew was stroking Brian's collarbone.

"Drew?" Nick asked softly, coming up behind him.

Drew hummed a little.

"Drew?"

"Mmm. Need to go shopping."

"For what?" Nick asked.

Drew's thumb left a sparse trail of gold around Brian's nipple. "Need blue."

When Nick came out of the bathroom, the bed was empty.

He told himself to calm down, taking a careful breath. Jeff wouldn't leave him. Jeff wouldn't leave him. Jeff wouldn't leave him.

Nick moved through the dark apartment and found Jeff in the kitchen, sitting on the table, knees to his chest.

He came around the table to lean against the sink, facing Jeff.

"I love Brian and Nick because I love Drew. I love Drew because I love you. I love you because I don't even know how not to love you."

Nick didn't know what to say. Jeff always knew what to say.

Jeff moved, and something hit Nick in the chest. He crouched in the darkness and found it. He knew what it was. Lubricant.

"Fuck me."

No.

Jeff stood down from the table and walked away from him.

Nick followed.

To the bedroom.

And the bed.

Where he fucked Jeff.

And died.

After all the time I spent wishing you -"Set Adrift on Memory Bliss"

AJ liked the soft spikes of Lance's hair. He liked it when Lance bleached the tips. He liked to turn on the television, when they were separated, and see Lance, and yell at onscreen Lance to get a haircut.

"Let's go out tonight."

"Okay. Shay's?"

"Sanala's."

"Little Pop's."

AJ grinned. "You really want to go there?"

"I like the...rhythm of it."

"You like that you can do the world's dirtiest grind with me there and no one cares."

Lance decided not to answer.

AJ kissed Lance and flicked one of his nipples. "We'll go there. If you wear the blue shirt."

"The...blue shirt," Lance said.

"Don't be afraid. I'll be there to protect you from the lecherous advances of strangers."

Nick was guessing that Drew had slept in the zone or something, because in the morning when they wakened, he was still in it. And very horny. Which was a good, good thing.

But by the time Nick got out of the shower, washing off sweat and semen and remnants of glitter, Drew was quiet. Quiet and off inside himself somewhere.

Nick wasn't sure if Drew was second-guessing last night, or just sorting out things. It wasn't necessarily a bad quiet. But it could be.

When they were finishing breakfast and Drew was turning away from the sink, Nick penned him in and said, "Brian, do something."

"Let him go," Brian said, tugging Nick back out of the way. Brian touched Drew's cheek, and Nick knew that in his head he was stroking Drew's dimples. "You okay?"

"Yeah," Drew said.

Brian waited, his fingers finding the square that began the curve of Drew's jaw.

"Thank you for helping me last night," Drew said, and met Brian's gaze.

"Thank you for letting me," Brian said sincerely. Nick could tell that he was doing that "let me look deep into your eyes and be so perfect that you melt" thing.

Drew melted. "It was beautiful."

"It was," Brian agreed. Nick knew that Drew meant Nick and Brian, and Brian meant Nick and Drew. Which was one of the awesome things about this relationship.

"Will you...someday...let me do that to you?" Drew asked, wanting to do it badly enough that he had to ask, but afraid that he was asking for too much. When Drew wanted something badly enough to ask for it, he really, really, really wanted it. Maybe that was why they always said yes to him. Well, that, plus the fact that it was impossible to say no to someone that sexy asking for anything.

"Yes," Brian said. "Please."

Nick watched them kiss. Good morning.

Chris traced the lines of Howie's pelvic bone with his thumb.

Howie's foot rubbed up the back of Chris's leg.

"Can I stay with you forever?"

Howie smiled. "Sure."

Justin Jeffre came down the hallway of Jive to find Drew running his fingers through Nick Carter's hair. "Morning."

"Morning," Nick said cheerfully.

Drew stopped touching Nick and turned bright red.

"Checking for lice?" Justin asked.

"Glitter," Nick said.

Drew disappeared through the doorway.

"Later," Nick said to Justin, and walked down the hallway, whistling.

Glitter.

No way.

Glitter?

Far too much information.

Justin went into the sound booth, not thinking about Drew and Nick and Brian and glitter. He almost walked smack into Drew, who was standing there watching Jeff and Nick.

Jeff was working as though he were alone in the room.

Nick looked like very gorgeous crap.

"Good morning," Justin said.

Jeff made a noise that was supposed to pass for friendly.

Nick looked even worse than he had a second ago.

"Nick?" Drew said. "Can I see you for a minute?"

Nick looked as though the only reason he had to go with Drew was that it might kill him and put him out of his misery. He followed Drew into the hallway.

Justin was left alone with Jeff. "You okay?"

"Don't talk to me right now," Jeff said.

"You want me to go?"

"No. If you leave me alone in here, I'll start breaking the equipment."

Justin had never seen Jeff get violent. He really did not want to see that happen.

Drew closed the conference room door and sat on the edge of the table. "What happened?"

Nick went down on his knees on the floor, his face in his arms on the table.

"Nick," Drew said, stunned and pained. "Nick, it's okay."

"I don't know what to do," Nick said, voice muffled and despairing.

"What happened? I thought it was going to be okay. I thought..."

"I made it worse."

"How?" Drew tried not to ask how in the world Nick could possibly have made things worse. What was worse than telling Jeff that Nick didn't love him?

Nick was quiet.

"Nick." Drew slipped down from the table and crouched beside him, a hand on his arm, a hand on his torso. "Nick. Nick, I love you. Let me help you."

"I screwed up," Nick said, and raised his head. Drew was hurt by the pain in those blue eyes. "Drew, I don't know what to do."

Nick sounded so hopeless that Drew wanted nothing more than to give him hope. "Tell me what happened."

"I fucked Jeff."

Drew waited for more.

Nick didn't say anything else.

Drew realized what Nick meant. "You didn't. Nick." Nick started to pull away from him. "No, no, it's okay. It's okay. You can fix it." He rubbed Nick's chest soothingly. "It'll be okay. You can do something."

"What?"

"I don't know. Let me think. He let you?"

"He asked me to."

"He asked you to?"

"He told me to."

"Why?"

Nick looked more miserable than ever. "He expected me to."

"He expected..." Oh, god, that hurt. Jeff expected to be fucked. By Nick. Expected that Nick would do that to him.

Drew put his arm around Nick and rested his chin on Nick's shoulder. "It'll be okay."

Nick's arm came around his waist, and Nick's chin propped on his shoulder, too. "Promise?"

"Yeah." He rubbed Nick's back. "I promise."

Justin had cornrows.

There was a love bite inside JC's wrist.

Justin smiled so often that Chris began to be disturbed by the sight of his teeth.

JC's eyes were shining.

Justin started dancing in the middle of the room for no reason whatsoever.

When JC backed into the sharp corner of a music stand and said, "Ouch," Lance knew that Justin had clawed open his back.

Justin did a quick, ridiculous rap on the history of Joey's hair in comparison with Chris's.

JC kissed Justin's temple without being yelled at, pushed away, or dragged to the floor for sex.

Their friends began to hope.

Nick came into the room and dropped a phone book on the table. "Brian, toss me my cell."

Brian handed it across to Howie, who gave it to Nick. "Who are you calling?" Brian asked.

"1-800-TOO-SEXY," Nick said.

"I'm right here," AJ said.

Kevin snorted.

Howie looked at the page. "Art supply stores?"

"Don't you have a million art supplies already?" Kevin asked.

Brian refused to blush.

"I need glitter," Nick said.

"For what?" Kevin asked.

Nick dialed. "Hi. Do you sell glitter? Okay, how much? Does it come in cases or anything? How much is that? No, I don't care how much it costs, I mean is that a lot? Oh, yeah, that's good. I need gold, blue, and, hold on a second." He cupped his hand over the phone. "Brian, what color do you want?"

"For what?" AJ asked.

"Purple," Brian said.

"Purple?" Nick asked.

Brian nodded.

"Oh, damn, that's good. Do you have purple?" Nick asked into the phone. "Okay, I want gold, blue, and purple."

"What is he doing with all of that glitter?" Kevin asked Brian.

"Art project," Brian said.

Nick pulled his sleeves down over his hands and propped his elbows on his knees, hunched forward in his chair. He thought.

He sat back and slouched. He thought.

He picked at his nails. He thought.

He chewed his nails. He thought.

He twisted his wedding band. He thought.

The door opened. "Hey. You look like shit."

"Get out."

"Where's Drew?"

"They went to lunch."

"You don't eat?"

"I'm not hungry."

"You'd better eat, you might waste away to nothing."

"Get out."

"What's wrong?" Nick asked, dragging over a chair and sitting in front of him.

"Do you have any social graces?"

"No. What's wrong?"

"I'm losing Jeff."

He watched Nick bite back a smart comment. There was silence. "I know what you mean," Nick finally said, and there was soft sympathy in his tone. Empathy.

Nick looked into Nick's eyes.

"But you won't lose him," Nick said. "Not over this. Not like this." He looked down at his hands. "I almost lost Brian once. And I almost lost Drew once. To death. I know that someday that will happen. For real." He shook his head as though tossing back his hair, but Nick knew that he was really trying to hide oncoming tears. Their eyes met again. "You almost lost Jeff. And someday, you will. For real. But it won't be this. This is just you seriously fucking up. You can make it up to him."

"How?"

"Jeff's always been there for you. He's like a rock. An irresistible sex magnet rock. What do you do for him? Why is he with you?"

"I don't know."

"Go for the obvious."

"I'm good at sex."

"The other obvious."

"He loves me."

"Good. He loves you. Why? Not sex. Other things, Romeo."

"Why does he love me?" Nick thought about it. "I love him."

"He loves you because you love him?"

"I don't know."

"You're not very good at this."

"I know!" Nick rubbed his temples. "Why am I listening to you, anyway?"

"I have Brian and Drew. Obviously I know something about getting and keeping a good man. Let's try a different way. Why do you love Jeff?"

"I don't know."

"Don't make me hit you."

"He's Jeff. He's gorgeous and sexy and has an incredible body and when he smiles I... He knows what he can do and he's honest about what he can't. He's confident. He's sexy. I love his voice, he has a beautiful voice, and sometimes I just listen to him breathe and... He's a lot of fun. He can't dance. I don't know why I think that's sexy."

"You think it's sexy that he can't dance?"

"Shut up."

"You are so far gone it's sad. You're completely in love with him. And you said he's sexy three times."

"He is."

"I didn't notice."

Nick snorted.

"We know why you love Jeff. Why does he love you? Does he think you're gorgeous and sexy?"

Nick's eyes flickered. "Yeah."

"You are, you know."

"What?" Nick looked startled.

"You're gorgeous and sexy."

"I... Yes, maybe, sometimes, I... You don't think so."

"You have no idea how badly I want to fuck you. But we're not talking about that. We're talking about Jeff. And why he loves you. Why does he love you?"

"You're hurting my brain," Nick muttered, scowling at the floor. "Jeff loves me because he does, because...he loves me for who I am."

"That's the best kind," Nick said. "Good for you. What's he feeling?"

"He hates me."

"I thought he loved you."

"He does."

"Which one's more?"

"What?"

"Does he love you more or hate you more?"

"He...he loves me."

"And you love him."

"Yes."

"So what's the problem?"

"I don't know."

"Try again."

"I hurt him."

"So apologize."

"What?"

"Apologize."

"That's it?"

"Duh."

"It's not... I can't just..."

"You are so fucking cute when you're stupid."

"So are you," Nick muttered.

"I can't wait to get you in bed." Nick left him.

Nick groaned and put his face in his hands.

Drew stepped into the bathroom. Jeff was leaning over the sinks, head bowed. "Jeff?"

Jeff made a loud sound of pain and fury. The mirror shattered under his fist.

Oh god.

"He fucked me!" Jeff shouted. "He didn't screw me or - - he fucked me! I was just a body in his bed, I was an ass for him to take, I was - - he fucked me!"

"Jeff-"

"I wasn't his, he didn't care, I was just there in his bed so he used me, he fucked me and he got off and - - I was just a body, nobody, it didn't matter."

"Jeff."

"If he's horny and he wants sex and he wants to do me, I don't care, that's okay, I like it, getting off with each other, but that's us, that's still us. This wasn't us, this was him, only him. You don't know what that's like."

"I don't," Drew agreed softly. "Let me see your hand."

Jeff looked bewildered for a moment, then remembered. "It's okay."

"It might be broken," Drew said, coming closer.

"My heart's broken," Jeff said. "My hand's fine."

"I promised Nick that it would be okay between you," Drew said, taking Jeff's hand.

"He's a bastard and I'm going to kill him with my bare hands."

"I know how much you love him."

"That's why I'm going to kill him."

The door opened. Nick froze.

Jeff made a very quiet snarling sound.

Drew left quickly, but made sure that Nick was inside the bathroom when he closed the door.

"Did you do that?" Nick asked, staring at the mirror.

"Yes."

"Why?"

"It was either that or rip open your face."

"Jeff."

"Don't come near me right now."

"I'm sorry."

Silence. Jeff's nostrils flared.

"Jeff, I am sorry."

Jeff's eyes widened and shone.

Nick shut the fuck up.

Jeff's hands curled into fists.

Nick forced himself not to run.

"I'm going to the gym," Jeff said in a carefully controlled voice.

That might be for the best. Nick left.

Jeff clenched his jaw, closed his eyes, and counted to ten.

Since Jeff had gone to the gym for the sake of Nick's health, and Nick was doing little more than taking up space, Justin and Drew decided to call it a day. Justin drove Nick home, and Drew did some grocery shopping and spent time in the weight room. He took a shower and cleaned up the living room and did the laundry.

The sheets were stained with semen and dusted with glitter.

He couldn't believe that he'd actually done it. Done that. It had been a terrible, thrilling secret. He'd longed for it, dreamt about it. He'd felt guilty. Normal people didn't do that sort of thing.

But he'd done it. He'd trusted Nick and Brian, even if he couldn't trust himself. They'd let him. They'd helped him.

Nick had been beautiful and otherworldly.

Brian had made love to Nick, and it had been just like his dreams. Better. Perfect.

And then Nick had gone and Brian had been there, and Nick's glitter had come off on Brian. And he'd liked that. He'd liked that very much.

But Brian needed his own glitter. So that Nick's could come off on Brian, and Brian's could come off on Nick. Because that was how it was. That was how they were.

Blue. Brian needed blue.

Drew was hard.

He wanted so many things. He wanted to make love with Brian, and Nick, and Brian and Nick. He wanted them to make love together.

He wanted to make love with Nick, and with Jeff. He wanted them to make love together.

He wanted the four of them to be together. The five of them.

He wanted to be made love to.

Drew wanted to feel what Nick felt when Brian made love to him.

Drew wanted to feel what Brian felt when Nick made love to him.

He wanted to feel their fingers inside him again. He wanted to feel them inside of him. Opening and stretching and pushing and hot and full and deep and hard and he could imagine it, he could almost feel it. It was rich and elusive and wonderful, and he wanted it, wanted that for himself.

His body had been ready. But his mind had resisted and shied away from that terrifying, overwhelming pleasure. There was a loss of control. Putting his body under someone else's control, giving himself over to another person. He hadn't been ready.

Now he was.

Drew wasn't afraid anymore.

His cock was still hard. He looked around the room guiltily.

He could make it quick.

Maybe he should do it in the bathroom.

Or right here.

No, the bathroom.

Upstairs.

Where Nick had made love to Brian in the shower.

Oh, yes.

Drew hurried upstairs.

"You hit that any harder you'll break something."

Jeff grunted.

He held the punching bag steady and braced himself, but still wasn't prepared for the power behind Jeff's next blow. He balanced himself again and said, "My name's Tim."

"Jeff."

"I know who you are."

Jeff was not in the mood for conversation. Normally he worked out at home, but today he didn't feel like being at home. In the weight room they'd set up where the second bedroom was supposed to be. Where they'd made love on the bench and up against the wall.

"I haven't seen you around here lately. You used to come in with Nick."

Jeff didn't bother to respond verbally, but he hit the bag harder.

"I guess he's busy today."

This was not working. Jeff stopped, peeled off the gloves, said, "Thanks," and went to the locker room.

Tim followed.

Nick followed Brian upstairs, carrying two cartons of glitter. Brian dropped the third on the floor in their bedroom, and Nick set his on top, chuckling.

"I don't know why I encourage you," Brian said.

"Because I'm so sexy," Nick said, kissing him, backing him into the dresser. "Purple. You're a genius. A perverted, filthy genius."

"Hi," Drew said, coming into the bedroom.

Brian waved hello over Nick's shoulder, busy kissing.

"Why do we have boxes?" Drew asked.

"We don't," Nick said.

"Yes we do."

"No."

"They're right there."

"Here, kiss Brian for me." Nick handed Brian to Drew and shoved the boxes into the closet, closing the door. "No boxes."

Drew stopped kissing Brian long enough to ask, "What's in them?"

"Our secret plans for world domination."

"Okay," Drew said, and backed Brian into the dresser again.

"How was your day, dear?" Nick asked, sitting on the bed.

"Nick's upset." Kiss. "Jeff broke the mirror." Longer kiss, Drew getting distracted by Brian's tongue. "Oh, and I jerked off in the bathroom."

"What? Which bathroom? At Jive or here?"

"That one," Drew said, gesturing vaguely before lowering his hand and tugging up the back of Brian's shirt.

"You were masturbating?" Nick asked.

Drew moaned and slid his palm up Brian's back.

"Let me see."

Drew kissed Brian's neck, getting his leg up between Brian's thighs.

"For someone who's been getting off, you're still awfully horny," Nick said. "Here, let me see." He came over to them and pulled Drew away from Brian.

"I was enjoying that," Brian said, disappointed.

"You can have him back in a second. I just want to see." Nick turned Drew around to face him.

"See what?" Drew asked. Brian kissed the back of his neck.

"See what it looks like."

"What are you doing?" Drew demanded, completely lost, when Nick knelt and opened his pants.

"I want to see what your cock looks like after you've jacked it."

"It looks like it always does. You are certifiably insane. Stop that."

"You're hard," Nick said, and ran his fingers over Drew's cock.

"It's Brian's fault," Drew said. "Nick..."

"You said I could have him back," Brian reminded Nick.

"In a minute."

"He's mine."

"Learn to share."

"You learn to share," Nick muttered, and licked his way up Drew's cock.

"Oh," Drew said, and leaned back against Brian for support.

"See, he likes me best," Nick said.

"He does not," Brian said.

Drew gasped at the wet friction of Nick's tongue.

"He likes it," Nick murmured, tasting hard flesh. "Brian, come and share with me."

Brian held onto Drew's hips and knelt behind him.

Drew gasped.

Nick wanted to watch what Brian was doing, wanted to see, wanted to share, but that would mean stopping what he was doing. And he liked what he was doing. Drew really seemed to be enjoying it, too.

Brian licked gently.

Drew tried to breathe normally but failed miserably. He held onto Nick's hair for support, left hand clutching back at the dresser.

Nick licked up Drew's cock some more. Brian licked into Drew's body. Drew tried not to come.

Nick moaned and pulled Drew's hips closer, opening his mouth, taking Drew in, in, down, more. Brian pursued, not letting Drew move away from his tongue, keeping that contact. Drew was making the hottest shocked sounds.

Brian sat back just a bit and gently pressed his thumb to where his tongue had been, applying pressure to the sweet closure.

Drew gasped and moaned and came.

Nick gathered his composure and licked his lips.

Brian rose, and Drew rested back against him on slightly unsteady legs.

"Drew," Brian said, and ran his hand over Drew's hair. "How would you like to lose your virginity?"

"Yes!" Nick shouted, and kissed Drew's navel.

"Okay," Drew said, and his voice shook the tiniest bit. "I can do that."

"I'll get the lube, you get him naked," Nick instructed Brian.

Jeff came into the apartment and dropped his gym bag in the bedroom. Nick tracked him with wary eyes. He had a glass of water, checked his mail, and came over to the sofa.

They sat in silence.

Nick set aside the newspaper.

"Ask me."

Nick licked his lips. "What's wrong?"

"I went to the gym."

Silence.

"What happened?" Nick asked.

Jeff slid down a little, stretching out his legs. "I was working out, and this guy came over to me. He held the bag for me, introduced himself. Knew who I was, who you are. I didn't feel like talking, so I left, went to the locker room."

"What happened?"

"He followed me. I wasn't paying attention. I didn't feel like coming home, so I started to take a quick shower. I turn around, and he's there. Staring at me."

Nick tensed.

Silence.

Nick could feel himself getting angrier, and he didn't care.

Jeff was quiet.

"How dare he?!" erupted out of Nick. He turned to Jeff, enraged, offended. "Who the hell does he think he - - tell me he didn't do anything, or I'm going to kick his ass!"

"He offered to give me a blowjob."

Nick was so shocked he almost felt calm. "I'm going to kill him."

"He was just staring at me, how long was he staring at me? I was naked in a public place, but I'm not there to be ogled, I just wanted to..."

"You're a beautiful gay man in a gym shower."

"I don't care! That doesn't mean jack shit! I'm married to you, he knows we're together-"

"I'm going to kill him. For looking at you. For saying anything to you. For thinking that he had the right to - - I'm going to break every bone in his body."

"I know I have a good body, and sometimes I show it to people, but it's on my terms, it's when I want to, it's my choice. I don't...I felt so disgusting, the way he was looking at me. That's not flattering, that's..."

"Violating."

"God, Nick," Jeff put his arm around Nick's chest and buried his face in Nick's shoulder. "He saw me naked."

It hit Nick. He felt pain. "Jeff, it's okay."

"I'm a grown man and I was in a public shower and I should either be flattered or laugh it off or not even care, it shouldn't matter-"

"Jeff, no, it's okay."

"I feel like a little girl, nothing happened, he didn't do anything-"

"He did do something. Sshhh. It's okay."

"I didn't even think about it, I wasn't even thinking."

"He doesn't matter."

"He saw me naked."

"Jeff."

"The way he looked at me, you didn't see the way he looked at me."

"Tell me who he is and I'll kill him for you."

"You never looked at me like that."

"I love you."

"Don't ever look at me like that."

"I won't, you know I won't."

"It makes me want to cut it off."

"Don't you dare!"

"God, Nick, I'm serious."

"So am I!"

Jeff rested in Nick's arms, against Nick's chest, hiding his face in Nick's neck. Nick pet him and waited. Jeff coughed and said, "Go make me dinner."

"Okay."

"Okay?"

"Okay."

"Then make love to me."

Nick stroked Jeff's back. "Okay."

They started as they always did, kissing and touching, undressing themselves and each other, Nick whispering dirty secrets, Brian's kisses slow and hot. Drew knew that Brian and Nick were communicating with each other, silently arguing, through glances and touches, that each wanted the other to take the lead. He ignored them, kissing his way down Nick's chest.

"I give up!" Nick shouted. "Drew, you have to decide."

"No," Drew said.

"Damn, that's good. Do more of that. Which one of us do you want first?"

"I don't care."

"Pick somebody."

"I can't."

"We can't, either. Somebody has to decide. And you're the one we're doing it to."

"But I want you both."

"We can try that later. Right now, it's one at a time."

Drew decided that Nick was irritating him and crawled into Brian, kissing Brian's mouth. "You two pick."

"I know," Nick said. "Age before beauty."

Brian made love to Drew's mouth and ignored Nick.

"He's your husband, you fuck him," Nick said. "Here, let me get the lube."

"Let me touch you," Brian whispered to Drew.

"Now you're talking," Nick said.

"Please," Drew said, and Brian lowered him to his back, gazing into his eyes. Such lovely light blue. Beautiful Brian. Brian would take care of him.

"More sex, less soul-gazing," Nick said.

"I love you," Drew said.

"How the hell did you get him in the zone?" Nick asked.

Drew stretched, comfortable. Brian's kiss was deep and sweet and made his fingers ache. "Touch me," he whispered, and licked Brian's tongue. Brian moved away from him and said something, and then Nick leaned in and kissed him. Oh, Nick. He loved Nick. He wanted Nick.

"You are so sexy," Nick said.

Brian's hand was spreading his thighs, warm and capable.

"You know what this is going to feel like, you've had this. Brian, Brian's fingers, they're wet and they're warm, and first he gives you one, it pushes inside you all slow and careful, and you're trying not to moan because it's no big deal, right, a finger up your ass, it can't possibly feel as good as it does."

Brian's first finger breached him, slowly, carefully. Drew moaned.

"Brian knows what he's doing, he's done this before, done me before, done you before. Only once, you remember that? That one time, that hotel room, it felt so good you started begging, he made you beg, you wanted it, wanted him, because he knew exactly how to touch you. He knew exactly how to make you feel good. He knew exactly how to make you want. He knew exactly how to make you."

Brian's finger was stroking him from the inside. It had been so long...

"He's going to make you tonight," Nick whispered. He sounded like sin.

Yes, yes, yes. Drew's hips rose from the mattress.

"God, Drew, you don't know what you do to us," Nick said. "Tell me what you feel. Tell me what you want."

Oh, oh, oohhh... Drew's eyes closed and his thighs spread. He could feel pleasure spreading and living in new places, so good it hurt, the deep ache of ecstasy inside his body. What was Brian doing to him?

"Tell me what you want," Nick urged, and kissed the side of his mouth.

"Make love to me," Drew said, and moaned, and tried to open his eyes. But he couldn't; it felt too good.

"You heard him," Brian's voice said, soft and far away and so, so sweet.

"What?" Nick asked. "He didn't mean that. He didn't mean me."

"He said 'make love to me.'"

"He wasn't talking to me!"

"Yes he was."

Drew moaned, twisting his hips, trying to get closer to Brian's touch. Two fingers now. Two, that was more than one, it felt like more. Full, pressure, stretching, oh, oh, "Brian..."

"See!"

"That doesn't count," Brian said.

"Drew. Drew. Drew, are you in there?"

Drew groaned and tried not to come.

"Drew, say, 'Brian, make love to me.' Say it."

"Nick," Brian said.

"Drew, say, 'Brian, make love to me.' 'Brian, make love to me.'"

"Nick, stop it."

Brian's fingers pressed something beautiful inside of him. "Brian, make love to me."

"Oh, god," Nick said.

"Drew," Brian whispered.

Drew shuddered and came.

They were quiet as they ate. Nick felt furious and wrathful, but also more pained and guilty than he'd ever felt in his life. Jeff didn't really meet his eyes all through the meal. It was his turn to clean up afterward, but Jeff stayed and helped him.

Someone else had looked at Jeff. Looked at Jeff and saw the wrong thing. Looked at Jeff without seeing Jeff at all.

Nick knew that Jeff had lived with two, simultaneous, contrasting body images for a long time. Part of Jeff had been confident and proud; the other part had been ashamed. Jeff had come to deny and repress the shame and live with the confidence.

Then Nick had come along and changed things. For the better. Until Jeff wasn't ashamed of anything anymore. Until Jeff learned to be confident of everything.

But now, right now, Jeff wasn't confident of anything.

Nick wanted to seek revenge on Tim. For daring to do this to Jeff.

And he hated himself, for what he'd done.

And he wanted to help Jeff. To remind Jeff of that confidence. To show Jeff what he saw when he looked at the man by his side.

Maybe he could do that. Maybe if Jeff saw what he saw...

Most likely Jeff would get over this. A day or so, a week or so, Jeff would be over it and on with life. But the effects might linger. Jeff might have doubts and questions.

Nick couldn't tolerate that. He couldn't let that happen.

Jeff's shoulders were tense under his hands. "Come to bed with me," he invited softly.

Jeff glanced at him over one shoulder. "Yeah. Okay."

Nick watched Jeff walk towards the bedroom with a sinking feeling. This was not good.

"You have no idea what that was like," Nick said.

"I think he knows," Brian said.

"That was incredible."

"It was," Brian said, and kissed Drew's temple.

"You were just, and your body, with the moving and the sounds, did you hear that, you were making this noise like and then you said that and I swear-"

"Nick, breathe," Brian said.

Nick remembered to inhale. "And then you came."

"How do you feel?" Brian asked.

Drew ran his fingers over Brian's chest. "Will someone please make love to me?"

Brian took Drew's hand, kissed his fingers. "All right."

"Yes!" Nick shouted.

"Your turn," Brian said.

"What?"

"It's your turn."

"My turn?"

"You made Drew come, then I made Drew come. It's your turn again."

"It is not," Nick said.

"Yes, it is."

"That's not how this works."

"It's your turn. Drew, tell him. Tell him it's his turn."

"Nick." Drew rolled to his other side and looked into Nick's eyes, running his finger along Nick's jaw. "Please make love to me."

Nick didn't blink.

"Breathe, Nick," Brian said.

"Now would be good," Drew said.

"Excuse me." Nick rolled off of the bed and came around to the other side, then got on top of Brian and shouted, "Help me!"

"What?" Brian asked, somewhat stunned.

"How do I make love to him I don't know how he wants me to and he's never done it before and I want it to be good and what if I fuck up or tear something and I don't want him to get hurt and oh my god I'm going to screw Drew help me, Brian, do something! Sweet motherfucker."

Drew was beginning to wonder if he'd ever get laid. He rolled to his stomach and rested his cheek on his crossed arms. Maybe he'd take a nap while they figured out what they were doing.

"Now there's a nice view," Nick said. "Drew, you have the best ass."

"Thank you," he murmured, eyes closed. "Feel free to use it."

Nick laughed and kissed Brian. "This will be good. Tell me what to do."

"Nick, you know what to do," Brian said. "You have made love before."

"Yeah, once or twice, in my misspent youth," Nick admitted. "Okay. Lube. Fingers. Cock. Ass. Ready to go. Maybe he should stay like that. It's easier than face-to-face. Except you're romantic and he's flexible. So we could try it face-to-face. I know! Wait, wait. Get underneath him."

"Underneath him?"

"Yeah. Go ahead." Nick climbed off to one side. "Drew, get on top of Brian."

Drew followed orders. Brian's body was warm and comfortable. Except for Brian's erection. He rubbed against it and Brian moaned a little by his ear. So he kissed Brian. Oh, nice.

"Stop getting distracted. I can't leave you two alone for a second," Nick said. "Stop that. God, I want you. Can you assume the position, please?"

Drew pulled his knees up under him. The world shifted without warning and he was back in time, in a hotel bed, Brian holding his naked body, warm and supportive, Nick behind him with long, slippery fingers. Brian was his safety and his anchor, and Nick rocked his world.

But Brian rocked him, too. One touch, one word, set his world on fire.

And Nick, Nick was security and trust.

Drew closed his eyes, gave thanks, and said, without doubt, without fear, without hesitation, "Nick, please make love to me."

Brian touched his face. "We love you, Drew."

Nick opened his world.

Nick's hand slid down Jeff's chest. His gaze traced the swell of muscle. "If you only knew."

"Knew what?"

"How beautiful you are."

"Look who's talking."

"I mean it."

"I mean it, too."

"I used to look at you all of the time. You had the most incredible body. It was amazing. At first I thought that I was just looking because I was envious, because I wanted to look like that. But that's not it. I was just...I was admiring something I wanted. I wanted you. You were beautiful. You always have been." He forced himself to let his fingers wander the path of scars. "You had this casual confidence that awed me. I wanted to be like that."

"You are like that."

"I learned it from you."

"When have you learned anything from me?"

"Stop dismissing everything I say and listen."

"If you want to keep rambling, go right ahead."

"You're not listening, are you?"

"To what?"

"Jeff, you have to listen. Listen to me."

"You like my body."

"That's not it at all."

"You don't like my body?"

"Oh, shut the..." Nick growled and left the bed, walked away, came back and climbed on top of Jeff again. "Listen to me!"

"Nicky, tell me a story."

"Oh shut up."

Jeff's fingers touched his lips. "I think you're beautiful, too, Nick."

Their eyes met. Something wrenched loose in Nick's soul.

"It's okay."

"God, Jeff, I love you." He couldn't hide the force of it in his tone. It meant too much.

"I know."

"I never-"

"I know."

"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry."

"Sshhh. I know." Jeff pulled him into a strong embrace. "It's okay. We're okay."

First there was one finger. That was good. That was very, very, very good. It made happiness hum inside Drew's body. Nick kissed his spine and stroked his thighs. Brian was right under him, looking up at him, touching his face.

The things that Brian said in bed were nothing like the things that Nick said in bed. Nick usually sounded like bad porn, which always made Drew hot and hard. Brian usually sounded like poetry, romantic and full of metaphors, which always made Drew's heart ache with longing and desire. Drew had no idea how he sounded in bed. He didn't really say much. Although Nick said that he made noises. He hoped that he made good noises and not weird noises.

Two fingers went deeper than one. Nick had long fingers. Nick had beautiful hands, really. Drew liked Nick's hands. He wanted to suck Nick's knuckles, but Nick was busy, so he sucked Brian's tongue instead. Brian's mouth was good at this kissing thing. But Drew couldn't keep the kiss going for long, because Nick's fingers were making his body tremble.

Brian said something soothing and pet him.

Nick said something very, very dirty and pet him inside.

He tried to keep himself locked to Brian's eyes. Brian had very pretty blue eyes, always a shade or two darker than he remembered, with dark lashes. When Brian smiled, Drew could feel the warmth. Right now, Brian's eyes were shining with more love than Brian's beautiful words could ever express.

"I'm going to come just watching this," Nick said, and Drew knew he meant it. "My god, Brian, if you could just see, oh holy holy holy fuck, my fingers are just disappearing right...inside...his ass."

Brian closed his eyes. "Nick."

"Shit yes," Nick breathed.

Drew moaned.

"Nick, please hurry."

"You lost your chance. You can just wait your turn," Nick said. "Drew, can I try one more finger?"

Drew tried his voice. It didn't work. Then Nick's fingers touched the shining place and he moaned.

"God, Drew," Nick whispered. Then, louder, "That doesn't count. You have to say yes or I won't do it."

"Yes, yes, please." He lost his strength and bent his head, trying to breathe. Brian's hand rested on his hair, empathetic. He wished, he wished to God, that he'd been there for Brian's first time, for Nick's first time.

"Don't come don't come don't come," Nick chanted. Drew felt Nick's fingers start to leave him, felt them sliding out slowly. But before they were out all of the way, they started to return, easing back into his body. Only there were more now. More fingers. More sensation, more pressure, he couldn't breathe, it felt too good, there was too much.

"Hold on," Brian said softly.

Drew heard the endearment in Brian's tone, the silent pet name coming after those words. He was glad that Brian hadn't said it out loud, because then he'd have to get mad, and he was really anything but angry right now. Besides, if he got mad, they might stop, and if they stopped, who knew when they'd try it again. It had taken two years for him to get to this point, and he wasn't going to let anything keep him from reaching his goal.

"So close," Nick said. "Oh my god, look at you."

He wanted to move back onto Nick's fingers, to get them deeper inside of him, to feel as much as he possibly could feel. Three fingers, Nick right behind him naked and ready, Brian beneath him trying to keep him from losing it, his muscles tight, his breath quick and shallow, his cock hard and aching and wanting and he wanted Nick inside and he wanted to get inside Brian and oh god he could never ever feel this good again.

And then it got better.

"I'm going to, I have to, Drew, please," Nick said.

"Please," he repeated, and shifted backwards, closer, wanting more, needing more, please more. He knew that there was more, that this wasn't it, that there was a glorious something else out there just waiting for him, that he'd been waiting for, that would make him feel, make him want, make him.

"Drew, I love you," Nick said. "Please, for the love of God and Brian, hold still."

"It's okay," Brian said softly, touching his face, fingers stroking his forehead.

Nick's fingers left him. Gone. Empty. Aching. No, no, no.

And then...

Drew tried to swallow. Okay. Okay. No fear. Trust. Love. Good things. Brian said that it was okay. Everyone else had done this before. Nick did this to Brian all of the time. It was physically possible for that thing to get inside of him. Just relax. Relax. Relax.

Oh god...

He squeezed his eyes shut and held still.

"Drew, look at me. Look at me. You have to open your eyes and look at me."

Nick's hand caressed his back. "I'm not doing anything until Brian tells me it's okay," Nick said. "Not that I can wait longer than two more seconds."

"Open your eyes, sweetheart," Brian said, soft and gentle and loving.

Drew opened his eyes.

Brian kissed him.

Hot. Hard. Oh god. It broke him, split him, tore him apart, the pressure, the pleasure. Too big and too much and too good and there were little sparks of pain in the streaks of ecstasy. He couldn't take it, he couldn't, it was no yes yes no yes yes everything, everything, everything. It wouldn't stop, it didn't stop, there was always more, and Nick was moving, moving inside of him, thrusting into him.

He knew what that felt like, to be inside, to get in there, to push into Nick, to push into Brian. To feel the overwhelming heat and tightness, the perfection of it, the absolute rightness. There was nothing better.

Until now.

Nick was warm at his back, hot, sweaty, making helpess, happy sex sounds. Brian was oddly calm beneath him, watching, absorbing. He knew that Nick had told him to stay still, but Nick wouldn't mind a little movement. One little movement.

He moved back against Nick.

Nick groaned, full-throated and rich in his ear.

He did it again, and again; every time that Nick moved into him, he moved back into Nick. He wanted that deep deeper. He wanted that hot hotter. He wanted that high higher. Everything was fire and lights, and Brian was watching Nick over his shoulder, and Nick was moaning his name.

His cock ached and his balls were tight. He didn't care about coming anymore, didn't even want the rush of orgasm. He wanted to sustain this high. He wanted Nick to take him to new places. If he came, it might end, and Drew didn't want this ever to end.

"It's okay," Brian said, and he wasn't talking to Drew.

Nick said, "Oh god," and came inside Drew. His body gave a few final thrusts and then went still, and then he started to shiver.

Drew wanted to remember to breathe.

Nick moved back, and Nick's cock eased out of him slowly. It was gone. He felt tender and open and very, very empty. He'd lost something.

"Tell me you're okay," Nick said.

"Brian, please make love to me."

"Okay," Brian said. "Okay. Roll over. Nick?"

Nick pulled him close and laid down, and he was on his back on top of Nick.

Brian kissed him, and licked his nipples, and stroked his cock. Fingers danced over his perineum. Then one finger was inside him. "I'll be gentle," Brian promised. "I don't want to hurt you."

"I trust you."

Nick's hands were on his arms, on his chest. "It was amazing, Drew, I didn't know it would be like that."

"I did," Brian said softly, and kissed his stomach. Two fingers. Oh. Oh.

"I want to make love to you every day," Nick said. "I want to do that to you over and over."

Nick was solid and familiar beneath him. It was reassuring. He suspected that he was shivering but couldn't be sure, and Brian's fingers were pressing in deep. It still felt strange and new. And wonderful. Always wonderful. It was scary, yes, but not as terrifying as before; and he trusted Brian, trusted Nick.

Then Brian lifted Drew's leg, and he rested it on Brian's shoulder, and then Brian was there, right there, Brian's cock, pulsing hot and hard right there, and he knew what was coming next. Brian was over him, looking down into his eyes, and he lifted and spread and welcomed.

It was a slow push, slow and steady. He could see the tension of self-control around Brian's eyes. He tried to breathe normally. It struck him that they'd probably squash Nick horribly doing this. But mentioning that right now might make Brian stop, and stopping was out of the question.

He could make it up to Nick later.

First there was fullness. Fullness and heaviness and pressure.

Then there was pain. He tried not to let Brian see it. He knew that Brian saw it anyway, and he felt Brian grieve for him.

Then there was pleasure. Spine-melting, heart-breaking pleasure that set his every last nerve on fire and made his brain scream with the glory.

Brian moved.

Brian moved him.

The heavens opened and angels smiled and there was blinding white light and Drew tried to claw his way back to reality but there was much too much too good and everything sang.

When he opened his eyes again, Nick was on one side, kissing his neck, and Brian was on his other side, petting his hair.

"Are you all right?" Brian asked.

"There were angels."

"No, that's just Brian," Nick said. "You're okay? We didn't break you?"

"Nick." He put his hand on Nick's shoulder. "I have to make it up to you."

"Make what up to me?"

"I don't remember."

"That's okay. Let me make love to you again tomorrow and it'll all be okay."

"That's good." He yawned.

"We need to eat something," Nick said.

"Go order pizza," Brian said.

"We can eat in bed?"

"Yes."

"We can let Drew lick our fingers clean?"

"Yes."

"Let me get the phone. Wait. First." Nick stroked Drew's chest. "Drew."

Drew had never, never seen Nick's eyes look this serious.

"Drew, I love you."

"Nick."

"Thank you for letting me make love to you."

"Nick." He ran his fingers through soft blond hair. "I love you. Thank you."

Nick kissed him and listened to his heartbeat.

Brian rested his cheek on Nick's shoulder.

Drew played with their hair until he fell asleep.

"All right!" AJ cheered. "Way to ride it, Mr. Space Cowboy!" He tossed Lance a sultry smirk. "Way to ride me, Mr. Space Cowboy."

"Just get inside before the neighbors start looking," Lance said nervously.

"You are a credit to your sex, Mr. Bass. A credit to sex, period." AJ unlocked the door and bowed Lance inside, then smacked his butt as he passed.

"I don't know why I'm ever seen with you in public."

"Oh, do I embarrass you?" AJ asked, locking the door. "I wasn't the one who started unbuttoning my pants in public."

Lance was not going to blush.

"You were the one who started unbuttoning my pants in public."

"Just a little," Lance said.

"Only the first three buttons," AJ said with a knowing smile.

"Maybe I should go home."

"The night's only just begun," AJ said. "Why don't you finish what you started?"

"I didn't...start...anything," Lance tried to say as AJ came much, much closer. He backed into the wall and bounced off of it. AJ steered him towards the bedroom without a touch. "I only..."

"You only what?"

"Wanted you."

AJ dropped his jacket. "You can have me."

"I made love to Drew."

"Yes," Brian agreed.

"You made love to Drew."

"Yes."

"I made it good, didn't I? It was good for him? I wanted to make it good for him."

"You did," Brian said. "It was perfect."

"He didn't come."

"He didn't want to."

"He didn't want to?"

"No."

"Oh. Why the hell not?"

"You were making him feel too good."

"Oh."

"We should be quiet and let him sleep."

"I can't be quiet. I'm too excited. I made love to Drew. I made it good for him. You made it good for him. You made him pass out. I never make anybody pass out."

"You're so good we can't pass out. We don't want to miss anything."

"Nice try."

"Get some rest."

"Drew's not asleep."

"He will be if we're quiet."

"Wake him up so I can play with him some more."

"You can play with him tomorrow."

"Drew's not a virgin anymore. Drew's not a virgin anymore and the world's still standing."

"I thought I felt the earth move."

"I think it did. We're good at sex."

"Practice pays off."

"I miss having phone sex. I don't miss being away from Drew, but I miss how hot it used to get."

"We're still hot."

"Maybe I'll call him at work or something."

"Don't you dare."

"Can I call you?"

"You can talk to me face-to-face, in person. We're together all of the time."

"I want to have phone sex with you."

"What would you say?"

"I don't know. Something. Let me think about it. Hey."

"What?"

"Nick and Jeff are going to make love to Drew. They're going to be blown away. It's going to be the most amazing thing ever. Incredible."

"Devastating."

"Why do you always have the right word?"

"It's a gift."

"You think that'll be okay with Drew? For Nick and Jeff to make love to him? It's really soon. I mean, we just did this tonight for the first time, and we'll be with them in a day or two."

"If he's not ready, they'll understand."

"You think it's a good idea? I mean, we have great cocks-"

"Thank you."

"-but they've got something else going on there."

"It'll be okay. Nick, don't worry."

"I'm not worried."

"Good."

"I'm not."

"Good."

"You don't believe me."

"No, I don't."

"Brian, I'm worried."

"About what?" Brian asked, gently encouraging.

"What if they're too good and Drew doesn't want me anymore?"

"That won't happen."

"What if it's too much and he gets scared and doesn't want it anymore at all?"

"That won't happen."

"What if we hurt him?"

"Do you remember my first time?"

"Yes."

"Do you remember your first time?"

"Yes."

"And?"

"Um, no offense, but this went better."

"Yes. It did. We're older and wiser. We know what we're doing. We can take care of Drew."

"You always took care of me."

"That's because I love you."

"Yeah. That's good."

"Tell me you love me."

"I love you."

"Go to sleep."

"No."

"We're keeping up Drew."

"I love Drew."

"I know. I love him, too."

"I want to make him purple."

"Not now."

"Maybe tomorrow."

"Maybe."

"He's so cute."

"He is."

"He's so sexy."

"He is."

"So are you. But it's different. I am, too."

"Different?"

"Sexy."

"Oh."

"Oh?"

"What?"

"You could agree with me."

"I didn't disagree."

"I'm sexy."

"Okay."

"Say it."

"Say what?"

"Say that I'm sexy."

"I'm sexy."

"Brian!"

"You're keeping up Drew."

"Tell me I'm sexy."

"Or?"

"Or what?"

"Tell you you're sexy or you'll what?"

"I'm not going to threaten you."

"Then what's my incentive to say it?"

"It's true."

"Oh. It is. You are sexy."

"Oh."

Drew felt, heard, them kissing across him. There were more kisses and quiet murmurs. They separated, and kissed him, and snuggled against him on either side. Before he drifted off to sleep, a vague question flitted through his thoughts.

Purple?

matthew@matthewtime.com
"Destiny" Part Thirteen
"Destiny" page
"Living" page
RPS page
Home