Destiny: Part Three

Destiny, a story in 13 parts, sixth in the "Living" series

Rating: NC-17 for graphic male-male sex

Disclaimer: The young men who comprise 98 Degrees, the Backstreet Boys, and *NSYNC are their own people. The author has not met anyone here described, nor does the author mean to suggest that these people act this way in real life. This writing is a work of fiction. I make no money from this venture.

Dedication: This slashfic is for Ewan McGregor, the Savage Garden slashers, and anyone who's actually following this series.

Notice: "Living" series: "I Need You Tonight," "Boy Lead the Way to Ecstasy," "Not Easy," "No One," and "Rest in Peace."

Destiny is everything. -"Set Adrift on Memory Bliss"

"Destiny" Part Three: Ooh baby you're so fine / I'm gonna make you mine / Your lips they taste so sweet.
-"Get Down"

Brian sighed and sat on the sofa. "You think he's nuts?"

"I don't think he's dangerous," Drew said, sitting beside Brian.

"That boy's brain is trouble," Brian said, fingers skimming up beneath the sleeve of Drew's T-shirt.

"Are you always going to be this affectionate?"

"Yeah. Does it bother you? I can-"

"No, no. Keep doing it. I like it."

Brian smiled and kissed him. "Good."

"Stop kissing my Drew," Nick said, reentering the living room.

"My Drew," Brian corrected, but he ended the kiss.

"Okay," Nick conceded, and held forth his hands. "Your Drew."

Drew looked from the small black velvet boxes in Nick's hands up to Nick's eyes and back down to the boxes.

"Nick?" Brian asked. His voice wavered.

"Open," Nick said, coming closer, offering the boxes. "One for you, one for you."

Brian reached for the box, closing his eyes. "Nick..."

"Take," Nick insisted, pushing the boxes into their hands. "Open."

Brian shook his head, then cracked open the lid. Two bands, one of soft pure gold, the other gold inlaid with small diamonds. "Nick."

Nick crouched down before the sofa, pressing the second box into Drew's hand, closing Drew's fingers around it. Then he looked up into Brian's eyes. "They're inscribed."

Brian lifted the engagement ring with great care, almost reverence, and tilted it, reading the inscription. There, in flawless script, was, "Drew." "Oh god, Nick."

"Read the other one," Nick persisted.

Brian replaced the engagement ring, then picked up the wedding band. It read, "Nick." Brian looked quickly to Nick's eyes. "You-"

"No," Nick said. "That's just so I'd be a part of it. I get to stay a swinging single bachelor. I think you two make a nice couple."

Brian put the wedding band back in its slot. "Nick..."

"You didn't open yours," Nick admonished Drew.

"I can't," Drew said.

"Sure you can. Put those muscles to work."

"Nick... I can't... You and Brian-"

"I know it'll be a real hardship being married to Brian. All of that fun and love and affection and sex and happiness will really be rough for you. But can you try to do it, for me, please?"

Drew blinked back tears rather unsuccessfully. "Nick..."

"I made my Drew cry," Nick said, appalled. "Oh. No. Wait. I made your Drew cry," he corrected himself. A moment later he found himself with an armful, a lapful, of slightly damp Drew, wrapped in a tight embrace.

"I'll always be yours," Drew said. "Always."

"Good," Nick said. "That's good. You think after you get married we can have an affair?"

"Yes," Drew said.

"You'll marry Brian?" Nick asked, pulling back a little.

"If you want me to. If he wants me to. If-"

"If he wants you to? Yeah, Brian's really going to say, 'Oh, no thanks.'"

Drew's gaze flicked to Brian briefly.

"Could I... I want to propose," Brian said.

"We're already on our knees down here," Nick said. "You might as well do it, too."

"Brian, you don't-"

"Stop being insecure and let the nice man be in love with you," Nick said.

Brian went down on one knee, prying Drew's box from Drew's hand. He lifted the engagement ring, saw his name inside it. "Andrew John Carter Littrell Lachey, will you marry me?"

"Say please," Nick said.

"Please," Brian said. "Please, Drew."

"Yes," Drew said. "Yes," and they hugged, and they kissed, and they hugged and kissed Nick, and then Brian took Drew's hand and slid on the ring, and Drew put on Brian's ring, and they kissed again.

"You have to invite me to the wedding," Nick said.

"Could you be best man?" Brian asked. "For both of us?"

"Oh, share me. I like that," Nick said. "Can we do that?"

"It's our wedding," Drew said. "We can do whatever we want."

"Our wedding," Brian repeated, squeezing Nick's hand.

"You know Drew's already planning to have an affair with me," Nick said.

"Then I'll have to find a boyfriend and cheat on him, too," Brian said.

"Pick me, pick me," Nick said, sliding his hand up Brian's thigh over denim. "I can be the kept boy at the Littrell-Lachey household."

"Carter Littrell Lachey," Brian corrected.

"You're not going for the hyphenated thing?" Nick asked.

"I don't want to give up your name," Brian said.

"I can still call you Mrs. Lachey, though, right?"

Brian laughed. "No. Don't even start."

"Darn." Nick settled into Drew's arms comfortably, familiarly. "We make a nice family."

"We do," Brian agreed, scooting closer to Drew.

"You should get married tomorrow. And then go on a long honeymoon. With me."

"Honeymoon," Brian said. "We could do that."

"We've been honeymooning since you got here," Drew said.

"Yeah, but it'll be fun to have sex in a new place," Nick said. "Paris? Paris is good."

"Paris is dirty," Drew said.

"We won't be leaving the hotel room," Nick said. "Don't worry about it."

"No, we have to kiss Drew in the Eiffel Tower," Brian said.

"That's right," Nick said. "I forgot."

"Forgot?" Drew repeated, stroking his hair.

"Mmm. Brian and I made a list of places, and things to do to you at those places. Like we have to kiss you on the Eiffel Tower."

"What else?" Drew asked with a measure of trepidation.

"It's all fun stuff," Nick said.

"Sing to you at the Statue of Liberty."

"Give you a blowjob in that bathroom in the Hard Rock Cafe in Heidelberg," Nick said.

"Make out with you in one of those gondolas in Venice," Brian said.

"Oh, plus the hotel off Leicester Square," Nick said.

"Right," Brian said.

"What's there?" Drew asked.

"That's where I lost my virginity," Nick said.

"Really?"

"The first time," Nick said.

"The first time you lost your virginity?"

"Yeah. See, I lost it the first time when I fucked a girl. Then I lost it a second time when Brian fucked me. Like you already lost yours because you fucked us, but you've never been fucked, so you still have it."

Drew nodded. "What do you want to do in the hotel off Leicester Square?"

"Make love to you."

Drew pet Nick's chest. "How old were you?"

"When?"

"When you lost your virginity the first time?"

"Young," Nick said. "Because you know that we were huge in Europe before we ever made it to the States, and we were over there, and...I was young."

"What's it like?"

"What?"

"Being with a girl."

"Ask Brian, he's bi."

Drew turned to Brian. Brian hesitated. "Girls...women...they're good. I like them. I've never had the emotional, spiritual connection with a female that I've had with either of you. So I can't compare. And the only men I've ever been intimate with sexually are the two of you, so I can't compare that, either, since of course everything's better with you. But women are fun, I'm attracted to them, I like sex with them."

"You said sex," Nick said.

"Yes."

"Not making love."

"Before, I would have said 'making love,'" Brian admitted. "But now I know what making love really is like."

"You're so romantic," Nick said. "You're nuts."

"You're very brave," Drew said to Brian.

"Why?" Brian asked, puzzled, curious.

"You could have denied your sexuality. You could have made a life with a woman."

"No," Brian said. "I couldn't have."

"Because we're here," Nick said. "And there's no way Brian could fool himself into being happy with anybody but us."

"That's right," Brian said.

"What do you think would have happened if we hadn't come together that week?" Drew asked.

"Honestly?" Brian asked. "I would have tried to steal you from Nick."

"What?" Drew asked.

"That's so cool," Nick said.

"No, it isn't," Brian said. "But I would have done it anyway."

"You don't have to now," Nick said. "I'm giving him to you."

"You didn't have to," Drew said softly.

"Yeah, I did," Nick said. "I want you two to be happily married forever."

"We will be," Brian said.

"So romantic."

"You ever think about getting married?" Chris asked.

"No," Howie said.

"Never?"

Howie smiled across the table. "You want to get married?"

"Yeah. No! Not to you. I mean not right now."

Slowly, teasing, "Maybe I should be thinking about it."

Chris turned red.

My angel. My inspiration. My life. My soul.

Justin closed JC's lyric book and slid it back under the sofa cushion. JC was losing it. So was he. He couldn't do this anymore. He couldn't sleep and he kept forgetting to eat and he had this constant feeling that he'd forgotten something. He kept turning around and not finding JC. He kept opening his mouth to say something, until he realized that he was alone. His body wanted JC more than it wanted food or water or air, and his chest was tight all of the time. He was having serious stress freak-outs, and he missed JC, and he just wanted everything to be okay again.

He knew that he had to make the first move. JC wouldn't. Not because of pride, but because JC was under this weird impression that Justin wanted them to be apart. And if JC thought that Justin wanted them to be apart, JC would stay away from him.

He didn't know what to say. Should he apologize? Accuse? Beg? Yell? He was upset, for a few now-confusing reasons, and this had gotten way bigger than it ever should have been. It had escalated until now life was like Hell or something, and Justin didn't know what to do anymore. He was beginning to think that he literally couldn't live without JC. It was terrifying.

Maybe he wouldn't have to say much of anything. He could always use sex. Yeah, it was a really bad lousy stupid idea, but it was likely to work, at least in the short run.

Drew sighed, letting Nick pull him upstairs by the hand. "I'm not going to wear it."

"You promised we could see it," Nick reminded him.

"I'm not going to wear it."

"You're protesting too much." They entered the bedroom, Brian following. "Show me."

"Can't you distract him?" Drew asked Brian.

"You made a deal," Brian said.

Drew opened the top drawer of his dresser.

"It's in there?" Nick asked. "You call that hiding it? Putting it in the drawer with the rest of your underwear?"

"You didn't find it," Drew said.

"I can't believe it," Nick said. Drew closed the drawer and handed over the scrap of red material. "I want to see this on you," Nick said.

"No way."

"How did it look on you?"

"I looked funny."

"You looked funny?" Nick asked. "Brian, do you believe him?"

"Not for a second," Brian said.

"Let's try again. How did it look on you?"

"Like a thong, I don't know."

"Nice and snug?"

"It was weird and uncomfortable and kind of tight."

"Oh god." Nick rubbed the material between his fingers. "You have to wear this."

"No way."

"What if you just wear it?" Brian asked. "Without showing it to us."

"Just so we know you're wearing it," Nick said. "God, that would be so hot."

"Wear it and not show you?" Drew asked.

"You don't even have to wear it; just tell us that you are. As long as I think you've got this on under your clothes... God, I wish I still masturbated. That would be the best fantasy."

"You can," Brian said.

"Can what?"

"Masturbate."

"No kidding. I do know how."

"No, I mean... Just because you have us, doesn't mean you..."

"You're turning red. You jerk off? You still - - when? And why didn't you invite me to watch?"

Brian put the thong back in Drew's dresser. "Changing the subject now."

"No, I like this subject," Nick said.

"Drew's supposed to tell us what went wrong earlier today."

"That's right," Nick said.

"Did I do something?" Brian asked Drew.

Drew scratched his ear. "No." He sighed and stepped out of his sneakers.

"Brian?"

"What?" There went the socks.

"Is he getting naked?"

"I think so."

"Okay. And we didn't have to ask or anything." T-shirt.

"No, we didn't."

"We have him well-trained."

Drew tossed Nick a look and pulled off his tank top gingerly, bared to the waist.

"What's that?" Nick asked.

"You're hurt?" Brian asked.

"I got tattoos."

"Oh good, more? Are they sexy? What are they? Can I see?" Nick asked.

"When?" Brian asked. "I thought you were out buying groceries."

"I made an extra stop," Drew said. "They're still healing. Can I show you later?"

"Just tell me one thing," Nick said.

"What?"

"Are they going to make me hard?"

Drew smiled. "I think so."

I could tell when I stepped in the room / And I saw you standing there.
-"Hey, Mr. DJ"

Justin closed his eyes. He could do this. He could do this. He just had to stop shaking.

He entered the apartment and headed for the bedroom. JC was there, as he'd hoped; JC spent a lot of time in their bedroom these days. Right now, JC looked at him very quickly, looking startled and a little scared. JC dropped something, blushed guiltily, and stooped to pick it up, setting it on his dresser. His earring, the diamond stud. He wasn't even surprised that JC was in here touching his jewelry.

Justin pretended to ignore JC, dropping his basketball, toeing out of his sneakers. He tossed his socks in the hamper, then pulled off his bandanna, running a hand over his sweaty curls. He was sweaty all over - - not gross sweaty, just good post-exercise sweaty, the kind that got JC interested. He started to undress entirely, knowing that JC hadn't seen his naked body since they'd gone to the house-warming.

JC started to leave the room.

Shit! "Where are you going?"

"Out to the...give you some privacy," JC said, eyes averted.

"Stay." Justin dropped his pants. Shoved down his boxers. Naked, he walked over to JC. "JC, I haven't gotten laid in way too long. Make love to me."

"I can't."

"You can't?" he repeated with a sudden flash of anger. It had been so hard to say that to JC, so hard to do all of this, to put himself out here, to ask JC for that, and now JC was going to pull this shit?

"I can't. I'm sorry, Justin." JC still wasn't looking at him.

"What do you mean you can't?" he demanded.

"I can't..." JC finally met his gaze. "I can't get it up anymore."

Justin's world fell.

"I'm sorry," JC said, and left the room. Justin heard the front door open, close.

Am I original? / Yeah / Am I the only one? / Yeah / Am I sexual? / Yeah / Am I everything you need?
-"Everybody (Backstreet's Back)"

"Congratulations!"

"Hey!" Brian gave Kevin a squeeze. "Come on in," he said, giving AJ and Howie quick hugs. "Were you guys in on this?"

"Absolutely," AJ said.

"Nick's had it planned for months," Howie said.

"Months?" Brian repeated. "That little - - tell me more."

"He decided what he wanted and came to us," Kevin said. "Then we placed separate orders at different places under different names, so there was no chance anyone would catch on."

"And when Nick was ready, he called us, we went and picked up the stuff," Howie said.

"I had no idea," Brian said. "He never said anything. I didn't even know he was..."

"You happy?" Kevin asked.

"You have no idea," Brian said. "I'm getting married, guys. I'm getting married. To Drew."

"I'd go through with it," AJ said. "He's cute."

"Thanks," Drew said, coming to the foyer. "Hi."

"Congratulations," AJ said. "Let me see the ring." He took Drew's hand. "Nice." His eyes drifted. "Very nice."

Howie poked AJ. "Stop that."

AJ let go. "What are you doing about publicity?"

"After the wedding," Brian said. "And we want to have the wedding before we're back in the studio."

"That's not a lot of time," Kevin said.

"Yeah. We've already picked the grooms and the official best man. I could use three ushers."

"We're there," Howie said.

"Absolutely," AJ agreed.

"You need help with anything else, let us know," Kevin said. "We're happy for you."

"Where's Nick?" Howie asked.

"We have no idea," Brian said. "He got a phone call and split all of a sudden."

"I think it was JC," Drew said.

"You think it's about Justin?" Howie asked.

"But why would JC call Nick and not one of the Syncers?" AJ asked.

"No idea," Brian said.

"You told your brother yet?" Kevin asked Drew.

"Tonight," Drew said. "Nick, Jeff, and Justin are coming over for dinner."

"It should be interesting," Brian said.

"...you do what you have to do," Nick said. "You know what he needs."

JC nodded.

"Shit, I have to get home. Jeff's coming over for dinner. You okay?"

"Yeah. Thanks for coming over."

"No problem."

"I can't ask the guys about this."

"You were there for me when Brian left me. I'm here for you whenever."

"Thanks."

"I'd tell you to take care of yourself, but I know that you won't. And I'd tell you to take care of Justin, but I know you've got that beyond covered." Nick hesitated. "I know you've always given him what he needs. You've got to keep that going."

"I will. Thanks."

Nick squeezed JC's hand. "Call me. Any time."

"Where's Nick?" Drew asked.

"I still don't know," Brian said.

"He's supposed to be here."

"He'll be here."

"I don't know why I'm so nervous."

"I don't either."

"You're not nervous?"

"Of course I'm nervous. This is like the introduction to the in-laws."

"They've known you for years. They like you."

"Why are you nervous?"

"I'm getting married." Drew stared at Brian. "We're getting married." Brian stared back at him, and there was a silence as they weighed the significance of those words. They were getting married.

Brian shouted and grabbed Drew and lifted him off of his feet, spinning, laughing.

Drew squeezed Brian, laughing, kissing him. Drew landed against the kitchen wall with a thud. "We're getting married."

"We're getting married," Brian repeated, matching his wide smile.

"We're getting married!"

"We're getting married!" They were laughing and kissing and hugging and grinning like fools. "We're getting married!" Drew started dancing Brian around the room.

Justin Jeffre paused with his finger poised at the doorbell, seeing Nick Timmons-Lachey's car pull up in the drive.

"Hey," Jeff said, getting out of the car, coming up the walk. "You know what this is about?"

"It could just be to hang out," Justin said. "Do you look different?" He rang the bell as Nick joined them on the porch.

Jeff smiled.

"He's been insufferable all day," Nick said.

"Why?" Justin asked.

"Nick got a new tattoo," Jeff said.

"Really?" Justin asked. "What? Where?"

The door opened. Drew looked flushed, lips kiss-bruised. "Hi. Hey. Come in." He stuck his hand in his pocket.

"That smells good," Justin said. "What is it?"

"Some chicken thing Brian ordered." Drew closed the door again. "Nick's not here yet."

"You don't know what you're serving, and you're missing a person," Nick said. "You make a great dinner host."

"Thanks," Drew said.

"Are you okay?" Justin asked.

"Fine. Sit?"

"Monosyllabic," Jeff said. "This bodes well."

The front door opened behind them. "Hey. Hi. Sorry I'm late," Nick said. "It was for a good cause." His eyes did a quick skim of Drew, then another, before running over Jeff. Justin smiled; the other Nick frowned. "Did I miss anything? What smells good? Did Brian order that chicken stuff again?"

"So we're having chicken," Justin said. "Could be a chicken thing, could be chicken stuff."

"Definitely chicken," Jeff said.

"It has this sort of brown-colored sauce," Nick said. "It's good. Where is Brian?"

"Probably recovering somewhere," Jeff said, moving towards the living room, pausing to brush his thumb at the corner of Drew's mouth. Drew turned red. "Are we here for fun or is there a special occasion?" Jeff asked, taking a seat on the sofa.

Drew wiped at his lips, still blushing. Nick's wickedly amused smile wasn't helping. "There's sort of something that we want to tell you."

"You're gay," Jeff guessed.

"You're pregnant," Justin guessed.

"You're going to start wearing the hat again," Jeff said.

"There wasn't one hat," Justin said. "There were a lot of them."

"Yeah, but he looked so cute," Jeff said. "I miss that."

"He was pretty cute," Justin agreed with a smile.

"He's cute now," Jeff said, shrugging.

"Who's cute?" Brian asked, coming into the living room.

"Drew," Nick said.

"I could have told you that," Brian said. "Hey. Anybody feel like eating?"

"I hope it's not chicken," Jeff said.

"It's steak," Brian said.

Jeff, Justin, and Nick burst into laughter. Brian, puzzled, led the way to the kitchen. Nick held Drew back for a minute. "Sorry I was late."

"Is JC okay?"

"He'll get it together." Nick kissed him. "I love it when you taste like Brian," Nick murmured before deepening the kiss.

"They're waiting for us," Drew said.

"He didn't get you off, did he?" Nick asked.

"No. The doorbell rang. Nick! Stop that."

"Sorry."

"You don't sound sorry." Drew pried Nick's fingers from his groin. "We're supposed to go eat dinner."

"I'd rather eat you."

"Should we start without you?" Jeff asked, lounging in the doorway.

"No, we're coming," Drew said.

Jeff let that one pass. "You like his new tattoos?" he asked Nick.

"I haven't seen them yet. You know about them?" Nick asked. "What are they?"

"If you don't know, I can't say," Jeff said. "Nick just got a new one."

"Can I see it?"

"You can ask him," Jeff said.

"He'll say no to me. I'll get Brian to ask him."

Jeff smiled. "You're learning."

"You guys coming?" Brian's voice called.

"If only," Jeff said, giving Nick a once-over.

"I wish he wouldn't encourage you," Drew said as Jeff rounded the corner.

"I wish I didn't have a thing for short older men," Nick said. "Let's go eat Brian's steak. Oh, wait, you already did."

"You really could have resisted saying that," Drew said.

"It was too easy," Nick said. "Come on."

At first, Drew tried to hide his left hand. He kept it in his lap, using only his right. When he needed to cut his steak, he did it in brief snatches when attention was elsewhere. Eventually, though, his brother said, "What's that?"

"What?" Drew asked, feeling a weird twinge of half-eager anticipation, half-dread.

"Your..." Nick stared into his eyes. "Your ring."

Justin took Drew's hand. "Wow. That's gorgeous."

"Expensive," Jeff said.

"Why do you have a ring?" Nick asked. "On that finger of that hand?"

"It's...it's an engagement ring," Drew said.

"Engagement ring," Nick repeated.

"I'm engaged," Drew said.

Jeff reached for Nick's hand. Nothing. Then he reached for Brian's. And saw the ring. He looked into Brian's blue eyes. "You're marrying Drew."

"Yes," Brian said.

Jeff squeezed the hand he held. "Congratulations," he said softly, meaning it. There was a great amount of respect in his voice, underlaid with the faintest tone of envy.

"You're marrying Brian?" Nick asked Drew.

"Yes," Drew said.

"I'm coming to the wedding," Justin said.

"I was hoping," Drew said, and swallowed. "I was hoping that the three of you would be ushers. Stand up front with me."

"Of course," Jeff said. "We'll be there."

"Who proposed?" Justin asked.

"Nick," Drew said, with a small smile.

"Nick proposed, but the two of you are getting married," Jeff said. "No, I get it. Which frightens me."

"That takes class," Justin said. "And guts."

"Are you okay?" Drew asked his brother.

"Yeah. Excuse me. I'm gonna go use the bathroom." Nick left.

Drew and Jeff exchanged a quick glance and followed. Nick Carter uttered a mild curse and stabbed his steak. Brian and Justin changed the subject.

Drew and Jeff found Nick in the bathroom, leaning over the sink, head lowered. "You okay?" Jeff asked, hand on Nick's back.

"Yeah," Nick said.

"That wasn't too convincing," Drew said. "You're not happy for me, are you."

Nick straightened, turning to face them. "I'm happy for you," he said. "I'm just not happy for me."

"You don't want me to marry Brian?"

"I don't want you to marry anybody. Especially Brian."

"I love him."

"That's why."

"Nick..."

"You're in love with him. He makes you happier than I've ever seen you. Now you're going to get married. I'm married; I know what that means, what that does."

"Nick..."

Nick looked down, then met Drew's gaze again. "You're going to give yourself to him."

Drew nodded. "I am."

"I can't believe I'm being petty and jealous. I should be happy for you. I am happy for you."

"Don't," Drew said, and stepped in close, and put his arms around his brother. He held on, closed his eyes, felt Nick's arms come around him, felt Nick's hand on the back of his head. "I love you."

"I love you," Nick said.

Drew moved back enough to look into Nick's face. "It'll be great."

"Good. You deserve great."

"You know, this should be great news for you."

"Why?"

"Because if I were engaged to Nick, he'd be your brother-in-law."

Nick groaned. "I don't need that."

"Come on," Jeff said. "Our steak's getting cold. And Nick's going to think we're doing something back here."

"He's probably hoping we're doing something back here," Nick said. "And wishing that he were taping it."

"He bought the rings?" Jeff asked.

"Yes. The wedding bands, too. The wedding bands have his name inside. And," Drew slid off his ring and handed it to Jeff.

"Wow," Jeff said, reading Brian's name. "I really like this."

Drew put his ring on again. "I'm not asking how much he paid."

"That's probably a good idea," Jeff said.

Justin Timberlake Chasez wiped steam from the mirror. He looked at himself in the mirror. Stared into his eyes.

Knock at the door. Justin's heartbeat snapped into double-time.

"Justin?"

He stared at the door. Plain dark brown wood.

"Justin?"

What was he supposed to do now? JC was approaching him. All of this time. That rejection, that horrible, hideously painful rejection. All of this hurt and time and avoidance and now, now JC was coming to him.

"Justin? I'm coming in."

Coming in? Coming in? Now that it was convenient, now that JC felt like talking, now they had to talk? Just because JC wanted to suddenly? Fuck that. Justin yanked the door open. "No! You're not coming in. You don't treat me like shit and treat me like trash and treat me like your personal wind-up sex toy, ignore me and avoid me and now I'm supposed to drop everything just because you say so."

"Justin-"

"No! Go to hell!" He backed up but JC moved in and then JC was stroking his damp curls and holding onto him and whispering those sweet, sweet things.

"Justin, I love you, baby, I love you, I never wanted to hurt you, let me make it right, let me treat you right. I'll take care of you, Justin, I'll take good care of you. I love you, I miss you, let me show you, let me make love to you, let me make it good for you. I can make you feel good, baby, just let me."

JC's hand ran down his back, over his skin, setting every nerve ending soaring. He hadn't felt JC's touch in too long. It was familiar and erotic and it made Justin's heart ache.

Then JC tugged at the towel, loosing it, and it dropped, and Justin was naked. And JC was walking him to the bedroom, leading him; and he didn't resist, just went.

The bed was soft and comfortable, and JC, still dressed, stretched out over him, kissed his mouth. It was JC's mouth, JC's taste, JC's heat, but it wasn't quite right. It was like someone else was kissing him through JC, using JC to do it. At the same time, his brain was registering JC, remembering JC, wanting JC, and his body responded to the familiar stimuli. His arms wrapped around JC, thighs spreading, cock lifting. His mouth, his body, opened to JC. Only JC. Always JC.

JC's hands stroked down his body, caressing his naked skin, tracing the lines of muscle. "You're so beautiful," JC said. "You're so beautiful, Justin. I never get tired of looking at you. Never want to stop touching you." There was a tremor of tension in JC's body for a moment, and Justin knew that JC was remembering, remembering, "Don't touch me! God damn it! You're always touching me!" The moment passed, and though Justin knew that JC's pain was as strong as his was, maybe stronger, JC kissed him again, slid a hand up his thigh.

He was hard; he couldn't help it, he wanted JC, he always wanted JC, his body always felt this for JC. JC always got him going. His body was starting that slow writhing thing, moving under JC, working for more stimulation. JC got a hand up between his thighs, on his balls, teasing his perineum, sliding up over his cock. It had been a long time...

God, he wanted this so fucking badly...

"Sshhh, it's okay, baby," JC said. "I have everything you need."

That was the scary part, wasn't it? Terrifying, even. JC had everything that he needed. He was dependent on JC in a way he could never be on anyone else. Whatever he needed, JC had to give to him. And if JC denied him, what would he do? This time, since the housewarming, since everything had fallen apart more and more, he'd been miserable. He'd been terribly alone. If he didn't have JC, he didn't have anything.

"So beautiful," JC said. "I love you. I want you so much, Justin. Let me do this for you." JC's fingers were there, right there, penetrating, violating, wet, when had JC gotten the lube? It was so good, so right, just what he'd needed, JC's touch, JC right there. JC inside of him. "Let me make you feel good. I only want you to be happy. That's all I want." JC's fingers were on his prostate now, sending sparks and flares popping and sizzling all through Justin's body. He could feel JC pushing and stretching down there, feel JC's body against his lean and muscular through JC's clothes, feel JC's mouth on his collarbone first, his nipple next. His legs came around JC's hips, trying to draw JC closer. "You feel so good, Justin. So good." JC kissed him again. It felt...it felt...so close now, almost like the real JC, like JC was coming back to him.

Justin, with his arms, legs, mouth, and body already opened to JC, opened his heart and soul. He'd felt threatened and slammed them shut once, and what followed was nothing but grief and pain for both him and JC. He should have known that he'd never be able to live like that. All he could do was surrender, lay down and open himself, expose himself, invite JC in; and no matter what came next, he'd never regret it.

He was overwhelmed with erotic sensation, sexual pleasure, soul-wrenching love. He deepened their kiss instinctively, making love to JC's tongue with his own, clinging to JC, grinding his hips both to get friction for his now doubly-aching cock and to get JC's fingers deeper in his ass. He panted, "God, JC," and dove into their kiss for more.

The change in JC was instantaneous. He said Justin's name in a tone saturated with love-wonder-lust, twisted his fingers in the most stimulating manner, and simultaneously wrapped his arm around Justin's waist to pull Justin closer and pushed Justin deeper into the mattress. And...he started to get hard. Fast.

Oh, god, JC's cock. Justin reached for the hastily growing arousal, felt it eagerly quicken behind JC's jeans, cupped his hand around it. JC's hips rocked into his hand and he moaned, JC moaned, god he wanted this, "I want this, I want this, JC," and JC said, "Okay, baby," and JC's fingers left his ass. He moved his hips, trying to get JC back, ass muscles contracting greedily. JC's hand came between their bodies, dislodged his hand. JC unbuttoned, fumbled the zipper, kissing him, moving against him in a very promising manner, and then JC's cock was free, and Justin arched, wanting it, loving it.

"I'm here, baby, I have everything you need," and JC's cock was there, pressing right there, and Justin's eyes rolled back in his head, back arching, hips lifting, and then JC was in, so hard, so full, too much, too good, and Justin came, barely suppressing a scream.

JC was over him, in him, looking down into his eyes, thrusting into his body. Sweat dripped from JC's temples, and JC's lips were parted, and JC was still dressed, probably still wearing sneakers and everything. And it felt so good, it was incredible, having JC again, in his body, in his soul, everywhere. Justin's body was shuddering with pleasure and he tried to move, too, give back to JC, thrusting in return, tightening the muscles in his ass. JC thrust harder, faster, slamming pure sensation through Justin's body, making him gasp and moan, and he knew that he was saying words but he couldn't quite catch them, and JC was making love to him, and JC was fucking him, and it was glorious.

JC came, came inside of his body, planting seed deep in him. He pulled JC down, flush against his body, and they just laid there together, breathing. Then JC's cock left his body, but that was okay, because JC was still there with him. He realized that now he'd smeared his come all over JC's clothes, but that was just too bad. They rolled some, over onto their sides, and fell asleep, JC's head tucked under his chin, his hand tucked inside JC's open fly.

Nick Timmons-Lachey sat on the foot of his bed. "Drew's getting married."

"Yes he is," Jeff agreed, coming over to the bed and kneeling behind him, hands on his shoulders. "You okay with that?"

"Does it matter?"

"To everybody."

"So if I say it bothers me, he won't go through with it?"

"Not a chance. Don't even try it." Jeff's arms came around him, Jeff against his back, Jeff's voice at his ear. "He's allowed to marry somebody else, you know. He couldn't have married you anyway."

"I never said-"

"Un-hunh. You just remember, brothers can't get married, and you're already taken."

"I didn't want him for myself. I just don't want anyone else to have him."

"Someone else has him. You'll have to settle for me."

Nick brought his hand to Jeff's forearm, resting on his chest. "I'm stuck with you?"

"You're stuck with me."

"I can't trade you in for somebody else?"

"Who'd you have in mind? Brian's taken now. There's always Nick."

"This is his fault."

"What? That they're getting married?"

"He needs to be punished."

"You're jealous that your brother's getting married, so you're going to be mean to his boyfriend? You have issues, Nick."

"No, I have you." Nick turned quickly, pouncing, riding Jeff down to the mattress. "And you're going to help me."

"I'm not getting mixed up in this," Jeff said. "I don't know why you pretend not to like him. We all know you want him."

"I do not want him."

"Well, you want me first. Of course."

"Of course."

"And then Drew. And then Brian. And then Nick. So, relatively, you aren't dying of lust for him. But you wouldn't mind making out with him. And we all know that you like him."

"He's a spoiled brat."

"You didn't always think that. You have the same problem with him that you've always had, right from the start. He has sex, and he likes sex."

"So? I have sex. I like sex."

"He's young and he's sexual and he has Drew. That threatens you."

"When did you turn into Freud?"

"I know you."

"He doesn't threaten me."

Jeff rolled them over, on top now, pinning down Nick. "Does this?"

"No."

"Why not?"

"I like it."

"Why?"

"It's you." Jeff waited for more. "I know you don't really mean it. You'd let me up if you thought that I were uncomfortable."

"So you're comfortable. Lying on your back, held down by a stronger man."

"You're not-"

"Don't start that. We know I'm stronger. Get over it."

"You're short."

"That's really not the point, Nick. Don't change the subject."

"What were you asking?"

"Are you comfortable?"

"Yeah. You know that. Do you even have a point?"

"What if I were Nick?"

"I'd kick your ass."

"Why?"

"For... Why would he be on top of me?"

"For sex."

"I'm not having sex with him."

"Why not?"

"Because of you."

"Because of - - do you want me to sing?"

Nick pushed up and over and down, until Jeff was lying back, head at the foot of the bed, feet by the pillows. "No."

"What do you want me to do?"

"First, suck my dick. Second, explain to me what psychoanalysis thing you think you're doing."

"I'll pick door number two. Nick has things you want. You're jealous. You're threatened."

"What?"

"He has your name - - no, I think that's important. And...you know the Backstreet Boys are more popular than we are. He sings lead tenor, you sing lead tenor, only he's more famous and popular than you are, and you don't think that that's fair, since you worked hard and he just walked in and signed a contract at age thirteen. Then, he has Brian, and you like Brian, you want Brian. He also has Drew. Drew was pure and chaste and safe, and then Nick walked in and seduced him without seeming to try very hard, introduced him to sex, brought him into a gay threesome. Nick's a sexually corrupting influence. He's tempting and privileged and-"

"He's a spoiled brat."

"You want him and you're afraid of him. And you like him, you like him a lot, Nick."

"Can you just suck my dick?"

"Sure. C'mere."

Nick Carter Littrell Lachey lounged naked in his bed.

"Ni...ick," Drew said, entering the room, faltering. "Hello."

"Hi." Nick rolled onto his side and rested on an elbow. He smiled, watching Drew's eyes linger on his body.

"Are you..."

"Yes?"

"Why are you naked?" Drew finally asked, raising his gaze to Nick's.

"I was thinking about masturbating. You know Brian still does that? How did I not know that? I know everything about him. I never even thought about it. I mean, I have a pretty...active...sex life, so why would I need to jerk off? It doesn't make sense. But there's something sort of... I've always liked touching myself. Hey. You remember when we first hooked up, and I was trying to get in your bed, and we started talking about jerking off?"

"Yes."

"That made me so hot."

Drew licked his lips. Every sexual experience with Nick was intense, but those first nights, the beginning of his sexual awakening, were among the most intense of his life. They'd been heady and shocking and passionate and, in a way, extreme. He'd never felt anything like that before, that depth, that heat. He'd never had such a powerful response to anyone before Nick. But Nick...and now Brian... His responses to them were different, of course, as they were different.

"Drew?"

He watched Nick's long fingers slide down to grasp Nick's cock. It was beginning to lengthen and fill.

"Drew..."

He loved Nick's hands. Beautiful, masculine. Long fingers, knuckles he liked to suck. Nick's thumb wasn't as slender as Nick's other fingers, and he'd wondered how it would feel pressing into his body.

"Drew..."

And Nick's cock... Beautiful, masculine. Long shaft, head he liked to suck. He'd wondered often how it would feel thrusting into his body. It was growing hard and proud at Nick's touch. He'd never seen Nick do this, masturbate, and it was amazingly erotic. Self-knowledge, self-love, and then the voyeuristic aspect, not to mention the strong lure of the forbidden.

"Drew," Nick said, thighs spreading, other hand reaching down for his balls. "Come and jack me."

Drew was on the bed in an instant, on his hands and knees, licking up Nick's cock, licking over Nick's fingers on Nick's cock, tasting Nick and pre-cum, and Nick's fingers slipped into his mouth, and he sucked on them, closing his eyes, letting Nick's fingers fuck his mouth and tangle with his tongue.

"You're so hot," Nick said, panting, "you're so good, you're so fucking bad. Good Drew," and Nick's fingers hooked over his lower teeth and opened his mouth wider, pulled him forward, and he accepted Nick's cock, the head of it alive against his tongue. "God, Drew." Nick's hips jacked up and Nick's cock rode home and Drew swallowed, putting his hand over Nick's on Nick's balls. Their fingers laced as they fondled Nick together. Nick gasped and bucked and came, coating Drew's throat.

"God," Nick said. "Drew." His voice was husky and bliss-drenched.

Drew released Nick's cock, licking his lips, swallowing. He untangled his fingers and Nick's, letting go of Nick's balls; Nick's fingers dipped, probing at Nick's asshole. Drew watched for a few seconds, fascinated by the sight. He licked between Nick's fingers, sucked gently at Nick's knuckles, licked down, up, down, and then in, Nick's fingers holding Nick's ass open for him so that he could investigate here.

Drew's very first penetration had been by Nick's tongue. It had been shocking - - new, intense, explicit. Nick's fingers had been quick to follow, but except for Brian's two fingers ten months later, he'd never had anything else. He'd licked Brian this way; not just licked, tongue-fucked. He'd never really thought about that, about...rimming...but Nick liked it, and he'd wondered...wondered what it could be like, wondered how it might feel, physically, psychologically, to do that to someone, to put his tongue there.

Nick's naked feet were on Drew's shoulders; he used that leverage to hoist up his hips, get closer to Drew's tongue. Drew licked into him, working inside that tight muscle.

He held Nick up, held Nick open, listened to Nick's gasping. Then he licked up a bit, tongued across Nick's perineum, sucked at those coarse, curly blond hairs.

"No, go back, go back," Nick begged. "Oh god, Drew..." Drew mouthed Nick's balls, sliding a finger into Nick's ass. Nick groaned. "More, more."

Then there was a hand on Drew's back, warm and instantly familiar, and heat spread. Drew's tongue pushed Nick's balls from his mouth and he rolled over, on his back, and Brian was on top of him, kissing him, one hand stroking up his chest beneath his T-shirt, other hand sliding up his arm, over his bicep, along the crook of his elbow, up his forearm, past his wrist, finding his hand, and then Brian's finger was right there, beside his, inside Nick.

"You taste like Nick," Brian murmured, licking inside his mouth. "You taste...what have you been doing?"

Drew sucked on Brian's tongue, enjoying the feel of Brian's fingers exploring his torso, rotating his finger inside Nick. Nick moaned and moved on their fingers. Brian deepened their kiss, hand sliding out of his shirt and moving down over his fly.

"You're so hard," Brian said breathlessly, and gave his cock a squeeze through his jeans. He couldn't hold back that moan, bucking into Brian's hand. "What do you want?"

He extended his second finger into Nick, stroking alongside Brian's finger, and together they triggered Nick's prostate. One of his knees came up, foot flat on the mattress, and he rocked his hips a little to get friction from Brian's hand, and Brian was sucking his lower lip, and Nick's moans made for one arousing soundtrack.

Brian's second finger joined the party in that constricting heat, and their fingers tangled together, caressing each other, caressing Nick, Drew's hand and Brian's meeting and mating outside and inside of Nick, their other hands working together to open Drew's jeans. Brian's hand naked on his cock made him groan and shudder, so good, and his breath caught, and Brian's mouth kissed down to his neck. Oh, the slight sting of teeth, and Brian's hand smeared pre-cum for an easier ride, and-

-oh no-

-"Nick!" Drew twisted and stared and Nick was coming, coming, groaning, shivering, hand milking his cock, ass closing around their fingers. Brian made this tiny, aroused, shocked sound.

Nick panted, long limbs relaxing, a few tremors running over his form. His knees weakened, legs sliding to spread down the mattress, hand falling beside his cock.

"I...forgot...the lube," Drew said.

"Oh," Brian said. "Oh."

Drew tugged his fingers free, and Brian did the same. "Nick?"

"You...okay?" Brian asked.

"Oh, wow," Nick said. "That's gotta be so much ten times better than fisting. Both of you in there."

"You're not hurt?" Brian asked.

"I'm sorry," Drew said, crawling up over Nick to look into Nick's face. Nick's eyes focused and Nick looked up at him with a blissful smile.

"Drew," Nick said, and Nick's hand was on his neck, and Nick was kissing him. "Why are you still wearing clothes?" Nick asked, and involved him in another kiss before he could answer. "Brian, take off his clothes," Nick said during the next half-second pause for breath. Nick's tongue was busy in Drew's mouth, and Nick's right hand - - wet with Nick's jism - - was busy on Drew's cock, pumping the shaft, teasing the head. "You're going to fuck me, right?" Nick asked.

"Yes," he responded without thinking, cock jerking in Nick's hand. He was hard, ready, throbbing, aching for that hot constriction.

"And then you're going to fuck Brian," Nick said. "Do me first, do me now."

"Yes." First, now, now, right now... Oh god...

"Don't you dare come!" Nick said quickly. "Drew!"

"I won't, I won't," he said. "Don't - stop - Nick -" and he came, shooting hot white cum over Nick's hand, over his chest.

"Oops," Nick said.

"You can't tell him not to come while you're still touching him like that," Brian said.

"But I like to jack him," Nick said.

"At least let him take off his clothes first next time," Brian said.

Drew looked at Nick. "Sorry about that."

"No, it was fun. Now you can get naked and fuck Brian."

"That's...a good plan," Drew admitted.

"Thought you'd like it."

"Are you sure you're okay? I'm sorry. I didn't mean to...forget the lube. Especially..."

"Forget about it. It was great. We're doing that again."

"Can you please let go?"

Nick grinned up at him. "Nope. I like it."

"He'll let you play with it later," Brian promised, climbing off of the bed.

"You promise?" Nick asked.

"Okay," Drew said. "I promise."

Nick let go, bringing his hand up to his mouth, licking his palm. Drew took over for him, lapping up cum from Nick's fingers. Nick sighed, eyes closing half-way, watching, lips parted.

Drew let Nick's fingers into his mouth, sucked them clean, licked at them, let his teeth graze sensitive fingertips. "Oh, yeah," Nick breathed.

Brian was there, kneeling beside the bed, resting his elbow on the mattress, resting his temple on his fist, just watching. Admiring. Admiring them, their love, admiring them as individuals and as a couple.

"God," Nick said. "Drew..."

Drew let Nick's fingers fall, leaning in to capture Nick's mouth, sliding his body along Nick's, really not caring that his clothes were half-on, half-off or that they were both already smeared with cum. Nick shifted beneath him, half to get more comfortable, half in invitation.

"You're supposed to be fucking Brian," Nick said into their kiss, or at least that's what it sounded like.

Drew, perfectly obedient, broke away from Nick's mouth and turned, hand sliding over Brian's soft hair pulling Brian closer, kissing Brian, half-turned but still resting on Nick's body.

"Nice tongue," Nick said. "Why are you two still dressed?"

An excellent question. Drew tugged at Brian's T-shirt. While Brian broke away to remove the shirt in a quick move, Drew plucked Nick's hand from his groin. Brian's kiss was thorough, taking every advantage, and Drew couldn't take it, went on the offensive, making Brian moan softly.

"Nick," Drew said, and licked Brian's jaw, "please stop that."

"Someone has to. It might as well be me."

"Nobody has to."

"But...it's so...it's right there, how can I not?"

"Fine. I'll put it away."

"No! No! No, you're supposed to be getting more naked. Here, let me help."

"Nick." Drew shifted away from Brian and kissed Nick. "I can undress myself. Thank you."

"Then I'll help Brian."

"Brian's - - Brian, are you, stop that," and Drew removed Brian's hand from under his shirt. "I can undress myself," he said again. "Thank you both anyway." He got off of the bed on the other side.

"He's no fun," Nick said, and pulled Brian to stand. "But you can let him fuck you anyway."

"Drew's lots of fun," Brian disagreed, pulling off sneakers and socks while Nick opened his jeans.

"He's yummy," Nick said.

"Yummy?" Brian repeated.

"He's very yummy," Nick said.

"He's twenty-five."

"He's yummy," Nick repeated. "You look good naked."

"Thanks. You, too. And you are covered in semen."

"Hold on, I'll go clean it off," Nick said. "Nobody do anything fun without me." He slipped off to the bathroom.

Drew, meanwhile, had pulled his pants up farther but bared his feet. Brian sat on the bed and looked at him. He studied the carpet. Nick returned.

"You're not naked. And I hope you didn't like that shirt." Nick sat beside Brian on the bed, stroking up inside Brian's thigh, eyes on Drew. "You okay?"

Drew got naked very fast and then crossed his arms over his chest defensively.

Two pairs of pretty blue eyes blinked. Stared. Blinked. Came closer.

Nick's fingertips ghosted over Drew's skin. "Wow."

"Drew?" Brian asked.

Nick, leaning off of the bed, stroked above Drew's right hip. "That's me." He reached over to Drew's left side. "You...you put us on your body. Forever."

"It's something I've wanted to do," Drew said.

"Come here," Brian said, reaching out, tugging him closer, until he was sitting half beside, half on top of Brian on the bed. Brian's fingers traced over his tattoos. "What are these flowers?"

Drew looked down, watched Brian touch his flesh. Above his right hip was Nick's name in flowing script; on the left side, Brian's name. There was a flower lying beneath each word, the stem caught and held by the letters. "They're...different flowers mean different things."

"This is gorgeous," Brian said softly, awed. His fingers drifted across the flowered vine linking their names across Drew's body. "This is honeysuckle."

"It's for the bond of your love. I couldn't keep you separated."

"Brian got a rose," Nick said. "Red roses are for love. What's that?"

"It's burgundy," Drew said. "Unconscious beauty."

"I got a red...rosebud? What's that, a little love?"

Drew smiled. "No. It means that you're young and beautiful."

"Oh." Nick turned pink. Drew was awed.

"This is gorgeous," Brian repeated, skimming over the burgundy rose, looking into Drew's face. "Thank you."

"Thank you," Drew said, and kissed him.

"Damn," Nick said. "I've gotta find this tattoo artist."

Justin opened his eyes and stretched. Hmm. No JC. Shit. Shit shit shit shit shit.

Fuck. Yes. That was a good word. Fuck.

Now what? Had that been make-up sex? They hadn't made up. They hadn't fixed their problems. Should they just have sex and go back to normal and ignore that whole fight? Maybe they should. Frankly, Justin maybe wouldn't mind just pretending that nothing had happened, just getting JC back.

And JC hadn't intended for it to fix everything. JC had known that things were wrong. JC had just been trying to give him sex. It had been that typical JC thing, sacrificing for Justin's sake, giving Justin whatever he wanted, whatever JC thought that he wanted. JC hadn't even been hard until Justin...did whatever that was.

What was that? This whole emotional advance that made some simultaneous physical advance. Bringing JC home again, in all sorts of ways. And JC had felt it. That's why they'd made love. Really made love.

So now what? Where was JC?

And what was that sound? Music. Music. From the living room. JC.

Justin rolled out of bed and found sweatpants, pulled them on, ran his hands over his curls, went down the hall to the front room.

Oh, shit.

Jeff examined his fingernails, lying in bed. "You really want me to do that?"

"Yes."

"You won't change your mind and get mad?"

"No." Nick sucked on a nipple.

"You won't be jealous?"

"No."

"Okay." Jeff thought about it. "If I do it, what will you give me?"

"Give you?" Nick asked, licking towards the other nipple, fingers sliding down between Jeff's thighs.

"What will you give me?"

"Sex."

"What kind of sex?"

"A blowjob."

"I get that anyway."

"You won't if you don't do this for me."

"Really."

"Really." Nick's tongue dipped into Jeff's navel.

"What kind of blowjob?"

"Long and hard."

"How long and hard?" Jeff asked suspiciously. Defining terms was always important in deal-making.

"Until you've been begging for mercy for twenty minutes and my tongue's callused."

"Okay."

"Okay?"

"I'll do it. Nick'll never know what hit him." Jeff hooked a foot under Nick's armpit and pulled. "Come up here."

Nick crawled up Jeff's body. "For what?"

"Seal the deal with a kiss."

"If we're going to seal the deal, we can do it a lot better than that."

"I can show you how to give a real long, hard blowjob."

"You're showing me how to give blowjobs?"

"Absolutely. You've got some native talent, but you could-"

"You little - - if there's anything wrong with my technique, it's because of the equipment I'm using."

"Is that so?" Jeff asked.

"Yes."

The line wavered. Teasing and joking hung perilously close to true insult and argument.

"Have we ever had a fight?" Jeff asked.

"No."

"Want to?"

"What?"

"Want to?"

Nick smiled. "Sure."

Jeff shoved Nick in the chest hard, with both hands, then left the bed in a huff, stomping to the bathroom and slamming the door.

Nick rubbed his pec and raised his eyebrows.