Destiny Part Six

Destiny, a story in 13 parts, sixth in the "Living" series

Rating: NC-17 for graphic male-male sex

Disclaimer: The young men who comprise 98 Degrees, the Backstreet Boys, and *NSYNC are their own people. The author has not met anyone here described, nor does the author mean to suggest that these people act this way in real life. This writing is a work of fiction. I make no money from this venture.

Dedication: This slashfic is for Ewan McGregor, the Savage Garden slashers, and anyone who's actually following this series.

Notice: "Living" series: "I Need You Tonight," "Boy Lead the Way to Ecstasy," "Not Easy," "No One," and "Rest in Peace."

Destiny is everything. -"Set Adrift on Memory Bliss"

"Destiny" Part Six: "You should know how I feel by now." -"Darlin'"

Tell me why would you turn away from my love. -"Darlin'"

Justin shuddered and twisted away from JC. "God, god, god, JC, please."

"Hold on, baby," JC said, "just let me-"

"Yes, god, JC, JC, please." He reached back for the railed headboard. He had to grope around a bit, since the railing he usually got a white-knuckled grip on had snapped in half the night before last.

JC struggled to keep his hips under control, wanting nothing more than to slam home into Justin's tight heat. But he wanted this to last, it had to last. He slid in the final inches slowly, carefully, then shifted angles, making Justin moan beneath him.

"Please, JC, yes, JC, oh," Justin said, panting, moving beneath him, trying to get his cock deeper.

JC bit his lower lip to keep from saying anything in response. Justin took exception to everything that he said these days, and having what he said in bed thrown in his face later was not a pleasant experience. He couldn't hold back a gasp of pure pleasure, though, as he thrust deep into Justin's body. Justin surged up against him, moaning. He knew that it was a cliche, but Justin was so...fucking...responsive.

Justin always had been an exceptional, exceptional lover. But Justin was especially responsive now. Was that because of their problems? Was Justin's body compensating for Justin's sudden need for emotional distance? Were Justin's emotional nerves scraped so raw that Justin's physical nerves were sensitive as well?

Had he just thought of Justin as "fucking" responsive? He really was angry, wasn't he? But he couldn't punish Justin for it. Not here, not in bed. Justin had said that they couldn't taint their lovemaking with their other problems. Their sexual connection was far too important and far too special for that. And bringing their fight into their lovemaking would destroy them.

But was it possible not to bring their arguments to bed with them? Their problems were so pervasive that to think that one wouldn't affect the other was just naive.

And Justin, Justin had taken his words from the bedroom straight into their fight. AJ had mocked Justin similarly; didn't Justin know the pain that that brought?

"JC, please, I need you, more, please, please JC."

He choked on his words of love.

"I'm back in high school," Chris said. "My boyfriend's walking me to class."

"You want to make out in the janitor's closet later?" Howie asked with a smile.

"Sorry," AJ said. "It's booked already."

"We all saw that one coming," Howie said as AJ passed them with a tattooed arm around Lance.

"I think that they're doing the stereotypical good girl falls for the bad boy scenario," Chris said.

AJ flipped Chris off over his shoulder.

"Ignore him," Howie told Chris. They reached the studio. "See you later?"

"Tell Brian and Nick...something. I don't know. What do you say to that?"

"I don't think there's much you can say," Howie said. "Hey. If JC and Justin...don't let them get to you. I know you're worried, and they're your friends, but it's been stressing you out way too much."

"I want to help them," Chris said.

"I know. I wanted to help Brian and Nick, too. But there's nothing we can do."

Chris kissed him. Oh. Chris kissed him again, deeper, parting soft lips, trailing fingers through his soft dark hair.

"Have a good day at work, dear," Howie said, and kissed him, and went to the elevator where AJ was waiting.

Chris watched Howie go, admiring, then stepped into the recording booth.

"Jive's going to say no."

"They're going to say yes."

"Why would they want us?"

"Because we're good."

'They already have the Backstreet Boys and *NSYNC."

"Jeff-"

"They're going to say no. They're going to turn us down, and Universal is going to make us feel it."

"Jeff-"

"And rumors are spreading, the media knows about it, we're going to look like-"

"Jeff! Can you stand still for one second?"

Jeff stopped short. "What?"

"Thank you. You're making me dizzy. Jive hasn't made a decision yet. They'll call us tonight. We can't do a thing about it until they call."

"They're going to say no."

"I like a man with a positive outlook."

Justin dropped his headphones to the floor and turned his back, gritting his teeth, pulling at his curls. "God damn it!"

"It's okay," Scott said from the booth. "We'll try it again."

Lance turned off the speaker and said to Scott, "He's not getting it."

"I know," Scott said. "I can't use any of this."

Lance turned on the speaker again. "Justin."

"What," Justin snapped.

"You want us to bring JC in here?"

"No!" Justin said sharply. "No, I don't..." He fell silent, ran his hands over his face. "God, yes."

Scott nodded; Lance went to the door and opened it, gesturing. JC, who'd been in the hallway, leaning against the wall to wait, came in, going straight to Justin. He picked up the headphones and said, "You might need these."

"I'm totally screwing up here," Justin said.

JC kissed his fingers and rested them against Justin's lips. "You need to relax, Justin." He fixed Justin's curls and set the headphones on Justin's head again. "Now sing."

Scott glanced at Lance, who nodded and said, "Let him stay."

Scott turned on the speaker again. "You ready for another shot, Justin?"

"Yeah," Justin said. "Let's do it."

"Let's try that one more time," Ray said.

Nick nodded, sucking in his breath. In the booth, Brian glanced at Howie, who offered a sympathetic look, and at Kevin, who was starting to frown. "He's not going to get it," Kevin said.

"Give him another chance," AJ said, leaning against the wall.

"It's three lines," Kevin said.

"Why don't we take a break?" Brian suggested.

"We don't have the time to take a break," Kevin said.

"Then why don't you take a break?" Brian asked gently.

"I know he's distracted-"

"It's okay," Brian said.

"Guys, you know the speaker's on," Nick said.

"Sorry," Kevin said, wincing.

"Take a walk, Kev," Nick said. "We'll give you credit for producing even if you miss my big solo."

"Let's go," Howie suggested. "Get something to eat."

"Can I sing now?" Nick asked.

"You'd better," Kevin said into the microphone. Nick made a face at him; Kevin laughed and left with Howie.

"What if we don't get in with Jive?" Jeff asked slowly.

"We stay with Universal." Nick was leaning against the headboard, Jeff lying against his chest.

"They're not happy with us, Nick. They're going to pay us back for it."

"They won't sabotage us. We're too important." He trailed his fingers across Jeff's pecs.

"They have their ways."

He found a nipple, plucked at it gently. "We can handle them."

"The press knows all about this whole situation. They know we're trying to sign with Jive, they know Universal's trying to stop us. If we don't make it, they'll be all over us."

"We've had negative press before."

"Not like this. That was personal. This is professional."

"Personal."

"You know what I mean."

"Yeah." He stroked down Jeff's torso.

"Either way, there's a silver lining."

"What?"

"Drew's wedding got major press."

"And the Backstreet Boys are getting a lot of publicity. So at least we're helping somebody's career."

Jeff laughed.

"Love you."

Jeff's hand covered his over Jeff's stomach. "Love you."

Howie found Chris standing in the hallway outside *NSYNC's recording booth, looking in through the window. "Hi. What's going on in there?"

"Hey," Chris said. He put his arm around Chris's waist; Chris's hand came to his back, fingers curling up into his hair. "Just look at him."

Howie followed Chris's line of sight through the window. Justin was in the booth with Scott and Lance. Scott and Lance were listening, working. Justin was standing there, leaning forward, staring, gazing with rapt attention, soft lips parted. Howie frowned and tried to see what Justin was watching. "What's he looking at?"

"JC's recording," Chris said.

"JC's singing?" Howie asked. "That's it?"

Chris nodded.

"Justin looks like he's watching..."

"Porn."

"I was going to say God, but porn works, too."

"What's JC like when Justin records?"

"Justin kicked him out, got mad, said all of this stuff about not needing him around all of the time, it was just singing, stuff like that. And then he couldn't even make it through his first lines. When JC's in there with him, he sings great."

"That can't be healthy."

"Normal people, as long as they know that when they need you, you'll be there, they're okay. But Justin and JC can't even breathe unless they're in the same room."

"Where's Joey?"

"He went to the bathroom. Half an hour ago. I think he just wanted some space. I said I was going out for food. I couldn't take it in there anymore."

"You don't want to lie to your friends. Come on, let's get something to eat."

"How are you guys doing?" Chris asked, turning away from the window.

"Really well, except for Nick."

"Maybe you should bring in Drew."

"Nick won't let him out of the house."

"What?"

"Oh, he goes out. But Nick doesn't like it, and Brian said that they didn't want to start a fight."

Drew flipped absently through the rack of jeans, humming "Invisible Man" to himself. He was going nuts sitting at home. Everybody was away or busy, Brian and Nick were in the studio, and there was all of the stress of the Jive-Universal debate. Sitting at home waiting for the phone to ring was pointless, because Jive wouldn't be calling until much later. So...shopping. Mindless activity. He could afford it, he had the time, and it might distract him from everything else.

"Excuse me," someone said shakily. Drew looked up, coming back to reality. A young blonde guy was standing behind him. "Are...this is going to sound...are you Drew Lachey?"

He smiled. "Yes. Hi." He offered his hand. "Actually, it's Drew Carter Littrell Lachey." He couldn't resist.

The man shook his hand sort of automatically, looking stunned. "Hi."

"And you are?"

"Rick. Rick Wenger. It's great to meet you, I can't believe you're just here."

"Buying clothes like a normal person," Drew said. "Sorry about that."

"No! No," and Rick turned red. "You're...teasing me."

"A little." Drew gently disengaged his hand. "It's nice to meet you."

"Right. Sorry. Are you...here by yourself?"

"Yeah."

"I just... I thought you might..."

"Be shopping with one of the guys you like?" Drew asked, amused.

"Yes. No! No, I... You're probably busy, I'll get out of your way, it was an honor to meet you. Oh! Congratulations. On your wedding. And...I'm...I'm sorry. About what happened."

Drew's brain finally got a clue. Something about that last part tickled something in his brain. Rick was gay. Oh. Drew didn't actually know many gay people. Well, obviously he knew several, in his immediate circle of friends, not to mention the music business. But he didn't know just gay people. Though 98 Degrees reached a wide audience, most of the fans whom Drew met were straight teenaged females. He'd wanted to meet gay men. Real gay men, who existed in the regular world in a day-to-day sort of life. "Do you have a minute?"

"Me? I. Yes."

"It's kind of late, but do you want to get lunch?"

Justin's kiss was quick, desperate. He gripped JC's shirt tightly, then clawed up inside it, getting his hands on JC's body. His back hit the wall and he grunted, changing the angle of the kiss. JC's thigh came up between his, JC's hands on his back, on his ass.

"Oh my god," Joey said. "Lance, I found them."

"Get out," JC said before sliding his tongue deeper into Justin's mouth.

"No, we are not going to get out," Lance said. "You two have been acting like children. I thought that Justin was going to hit you, and now you're making out in the bathroom. You're a professional, JC."

"This is insane," Joey said. "They're insane. I am not going on tour with them."

"On tour - - we can't even cut an album," Lance said. "I'm going to go get Chris. We need to talk."

Joey walked over, reached around, and put his hand to JC's neck. He pulled, and JC had to back away from Justin to keep from being suffocated. "Come on, we're having a little conference, and you're both invited."

JC ducked away from Joey's hand, rubbing at his voicebox. "Conference about what?"

"About what the rest of us are supposed to do while you two act like two-year-olds. Horny two-year-olds."

"Excuse me?" Justin asked.

"Look, we were all ready to be supportive when this started. You guys were upset, having a lot of trouble, we were here for you. Now you're just the tabloid couple of the week, and we're getting tired of it."

"You have no idea what's going on," JC said.

"Then explain it to us, let us try to help," Joey said.

"You can't help," JC said.

"And we can't explain," Justin said.

Nick turned off his phone and looked towards Brian. "He's not answering."

"Try his cell phone," Brian said.

"I think he turned it off."

"Maybe he's just out somewhere. We're gone all day, why should he be sitting at home twiddling his thumbs? He's probably just waiting for the call with the other guys."

"Yeah."

"Don't worry about it."

They'd found an empty conference room. Chris and JC were in high-backed leather chairs at the table; Joey was standing off to one side; Lance was on the table's other side; and Justin was sitting on the table, legs dangling, shoulders hunched, picking at a fingernail.

"Maybe it's a question of priorities," Lance said.

"We've always had other things going on," Joey said. "Outside interests."

"But we put *NSYNC first," Lance said. "Not just the music, but the group. Us. Our collective career."

"It was okay before," Chris said. "Earlier. Because JC and Justin had their music, that was their other priority, and that fit really well into the rest of their lives. So they could focus on *NSYNC and on their creative whatever."

"Priorities change," JC said.

"Yeah. Now your first priority isn't your music, and it isn't *NSYNC," Joey said. "It's Justin."

"And Justin's first priority is Justin," Lance added.

"It's always been that way," JC said. "It's been that way for two years."

"It's not working anymore," Chris said. "I don't even get it. What went wrong?"

"Justin needs space," JC said. "He needs independence. He needs distance and breathing room and elbow room and time to himself."

"Don't be a bitch, JC," Justin said without looking up from his nails.

"You're the walking cliche of the scared woman," JC said. "I get too close, suddenly you need space."

"I'm no woman and don't make me prove it," Justin said. "What is this you 'get too close.' Get too close. You've been living up my ass for two years now, and-"

"Tell me he didn't just say that," Joey said.

"He didn't mean it like that," Lance said.

"-'suddenly,' 'suddenly,' what the fuck is-"

"Would you stop swearing?" JC asked. "Yes, suddenly. You've never said anything about needing space before now. You kept pulling me closer!"

"I was wrong to do that! I was wrong. Look, I can admit it when I'm wrong! Guess you'll never know what that's like."

"You're completely irrational."

"You're psychotic. And a bitch, I'll say it again."

"Justin-"

"And you know what else?" Justin asked, jumping from the table, standing tall and angry before them. "We're going to get back in that studio and record this album, and then we're going on tour, and then you and I, JC, we're getting a divorce." Justin strode for the door and left with a slam.

"He didn't mean that," Chris said.

"Tell me he didn't mean that," Joey said.

JC rose slowly, leaning on the table. He sighed and said, "He meant it." He took a moment, then said wearily, "We might as well go lay some more tracks."

Brian's phone rang. Since Brian was busy singing and Nick was worried about Drew, Nick went ahead and answered it. "Hello, this is Brian's phone."

"Who is this?"

"Nick. Who's this?" he asked, watching Brian.

"Nick Carter?"

"Yeah," he said, frowning.

"Nick, are you aware that Brian's new husband, your former boyfriend, Drew Lachey, was seen today spending several very public hours with a young blonde man?"

"What?"

"Is this in reaction to the violent rioting in London?"

"Who are you?"

"Has Drew's attempt to-"

"Look, I don't know who you are, but Drew can go out and spend time with anybody he wants. He has friends."

"Is Rick Wenger one of Drew's usual friends?"

"Who?"

"Thank you for your time, Nick."

Nick dropped the phone. "Fuck."

"What is it?" Scott asked, one eye on Brian.

Nick shook his head. As soon as there was a break, he reached over and flipped the switch for the speaker. "Brian, who's Rick Wenger?"

"What?" Brian asked. "Who?"

"Rick Wenger?" Scott asked. "He's that guy, isn't he? Real gay activist."

"Real active or real gay?" Brian asked.

"He's a gay activist?" Nick asked. "Tell me he's old and ugly."

"Real young," Scott said. "Kind of cute, if you like tall blondes."

"Oh shit," Nick said.

The phone rang. Oh, great, perfect timing. It had better be important. Drew rinsed off his hands and reached for it. "Hello?"

It was important.

"He's not cheating on us," Brian said.

"Of course he's not - - I know he's not cheating on us. But everybody else doesn't know that."

"We haven't even been married for a week!"

"That doesn't matter. We're famous. We're supposed to act like that."

"You don't know who it was?"

"A reporter. Print news, TV newsmagazine, I don't know. It could have been anybody."

"It could have been 'Entertainment Tonight.' Great. First we have to call Drew."

"Our reps are going to have a fit."

"Drew's going to have a fit."

"I'm going to have a fit. And what is he doing spending all day with a gay activist?"

"Nick-"

"He's supposed to be actively gay with us!"

Brian laughed. "Nick, calm down. Drew's not like that."

"Like it matters? You're gay, you see little Drew Lachey with that super-fine body, he gives a cute smile and you see those dimples-"

Brian grabbed the phone and started dialing. "He'd better be home."

Drew turned off the ringer. What were these people doing, following him? He couldn't even go shopping for jeans anymore? He sat at the kitchen table, gazing blindly at the half-cooked meal. He should call Brian and Nick, but they were working. He didn't want to disturb them, not while they were recording.

He sighed and rubbed absently at his scars.

While Justin recorded, JC sat in there with him, on the floor in the corner, against the wall.

"He sounds so good," Chris said.

"If he keeps it up, this could be - - tell me he hit that on the first try," Joey said, raising his eyebrows.

"Do not ask me to sing that high," Lance said.

"JC was helping him improve his range," Chris said.

"How long do you think he'll stay solid?" Joey asked.

"Not long," Chris said.

"Not long at all," Lance agreed.

"We can't go home," Brian said. "We're working here."

"Working. That's more important?"

"More important than Drew, no. Is getting this album out more important than seeing Drew right this very second, maybe."

"We don't know where he is."

"Call Nick and Jeff. They can check on him."

"You know who we should call?"

"Who."

"Rick Wenger. I want to meet this guy."

"Nick-"

"He thinks he's tall and blonde? I am tall and blonde. If he tried anything-"

"Tried anything? Drew's married. I'm sure that he respects that."

"You know what that woman said to me?"

"The reporter?"

"She called Drew my former boyfriend. Your new husband, my former boyfriend."

"Oh, Nick-"

"Former. My former boyfriend. As in, he left me and married you."

"Nick, she doesn't know. She was probably just trying to get a reaction. Everybody knows we're together."

"I knew this would happen. I knew that's how it would be."

"That's not how it is. She was trying to provoke you. Anyone who cares that Drew's in public with some guy, knows that he's with us."

"Some guy. Some gay activist."

"What's that supposed to mean? He stands up for our rights, Nick. It means that he's working towards awareness and policy and education and equality. We should be grateful to him. For a lot. A lot."

"For running around with my Drew in public?"

"For making it possible for you to run around with Drew in public."

"Oh."

Brian smiled.

"I still hate him."

"I just want to know how they met."

"And what's Drew doing running around in public at all? He's supposed to stay home."

"You know he can't stay at home all of the time."

"I don't care. See what happens when he goes out?"

"He makes friends."

"Stop being sunshiny outlook person! This is awful! I'm trying to be upset."

"Sorry." Brian smiled.

"We still don't know where he is."

"All right. Kevin and AJ and Howie are going to be here anyway. They can keep working, and we'll just lay more of our tracks tomorrow."

"Good. Let's go."

AJ scratched Lance behind the ear. "You okay?"

"I'm so sick of them watching them fight. It's more emotionally draining than if I were fighting with them."

"Keep it together. Focus on the music."

"I'm trying."

"Focus on me," AJ said, and kissed him, deep and slow and wet, tongue rubbing up against tongue, AJ's hands sliding down to Lance's waist.

"Major PDA!" Chris shouted. "Lance and AJ are getting it on in the hallway!"

"Chris, go away," Lance said, barely moving from the kiss, his tongue sliding in for AJ's again.

"Look at that," Chris said. "He's going to suck your whole face right off."

"Come on," Howie said. "Let's give them some privacy."

"If they want privacy, why are they kissing in a hallway?" Chris asked.

"Because AJ has no morals."

"I heard that," AJ said into Lance's mouth.

"Where are we going?" Chris asked.

"I'm going to record my solo for 'Dancing Diamonds.' You want to come?"

"Am I allowed anywhere near a Backstreet Boys recording session?" Chris asked.

"I won't tell."

"I can do great spy stuff," Chris said. "And sabotage."

"How's your album coming?"

"Justin's never sounded better. And JC...he has the most gorgeous voice right now."

"But?"

"Now the rest of us suck. We're too tense, there's too much stress."

"Want me to help you relax?"

"What've you got in mind, Mr. D.?"

Howie winked. "Let's go see."

Jeff hung up the phone.

"Who was it?" Nick asked from the sofa.

"Do you know anyone named Rick Wenger?"

"Who?"

"I think that was a reporter. Drew was running around town with some guy named Rick Wenger."

"Running around town? What's that mean?"

"Probably nothing. That's what worries me. Why are reporters calling us to ask us about this?"

"Call Drew and find out."

Jeff dialed, waited, hung up, dialed again. "He's not picking up."

"Maybe he's still running around town. What are you doing?"

"Getting the phone book."

"Why?"

"I'm going to call Rick Wenger."

Brian slowed the car.

"Fuck," Nick said. "Fuck, fuck, fuck, he so does not need this."

"We don't need this," Brian said.

"Look, if I want to put all of my fear and upset onto Drew, just let me."

"It doesn't help him that you keep projecting."

"It helps me!"

"Why are the police here?"

"I think they're getting rid of the camera guys."

"Good." They moved up in line, watching the police turn away cars and a few news vans, and then Brian was next in line. He rolled down his window.

"You're going to have to - - oh," the officer said. "You can go on through."

"Thank you," Brian said, and rolled his window up again.

"Yeah, it's our own stupid street," Nick muttered.

"For once it's nice to be recognized," Brian said.

"I can go with that."

Brian pulled into the driveway. Nick jogged towards the house, then had to wait for Brian to unlock the door for him. "Drew?" Nick called, walking into the house.

"Maybe he's at Nick and Jeff's," Brian said, locking the door again.

"Maybe he's at Rick's," Nick said very sweetly.

"Don't start," Brian said.

"Hey," and Drew walked into the foyer, in running shorts and a T-shirt with the sleeves ripped off, mopping sweat off of his neck with a small towel. "What are you guys doing here? I thought you were-"

"Tell me he's not here," Nick said.

"Who's not here? Nobody's here. I'm here, you're here, you're here."

"Rick's not here?"

"Rick? No, he's not here."

"You didn't bring him here at all?"

"I don't invite strangers to my home. I'm nice, not stupid." He hesitated. "I guess you heard."

"Heard you were spending all day with the local gay poster boy."

"You haven't been answering the phone," Brian said. "Are they calling here?"

"I turned off the ringer," Drew said. "Sorry. Yeah, they've been calling like crazy. They started to come to the house, but I think somebody called the police."

"We have good neighbors," Nick said approvingly.

"I don't understand," Drew said. "I was out shopping-"

"You were out shopping?" Nick repeated.

"For jeans."

"You own jeans."

"Button-fly jeans."

"Oh. Okay. Did you get any?"

"No. I was there, and Rick came over to me, he recognized me. We started talking, we had lunch, he took me to-"

"Why is he taking you places?"

"Can I tell this story?" Drew asked.

"Go ahead."

"Thank you. He's gay, and I don't know any gay people-"

"Wait wait wait," Nick said.

"Let him talk," Brian said.

"What is this 'He's gay' thing?" Nick asked. "Did he just walk up and say, 'Hi, my name's Rick, I'm gay,' or did he hit on you, or-"

"I could just...tell. He congratulated me on my marriage - - I just love saying that - - he congratulated me on my marriage, and he said that he was sorry. For what happened. I think it was the way he said it. Like it meant something to him."

"And you don't know any gay people? I'm gay! Your brother's gay, your brother's husband is gay-"

"But you're... That's different."

"We're gay. We're people."

"But you're not normal."

"Oh boy, you can say that again," Brian said, and sat on the floor, since obviously this might take a while.

"I'm not normal? I'm normal! Brian's normal! Nick and Jeff and Chris and Howie and A - - well, Lance is normal. AJ's not. JC and Justin...yeah. Brian's normal!"

"No, I mean you're not...you're not just regular people. You're not just a gay man trying to get by in this society. You're in the spotlight. You get some of the extremes of the good and the bad, but you don't get the day-to-day life, like a normal person."

"And you want that?"

"I want to know what it's like. What kind of life I might have if I weren't in 98 Degrees, or with you and Brian."

"Your life would suck," Nick said. "And it would be a whole lot easier."

"That's what Rick said," Drew said.

"Is he cute?"

Drew frowned. "Yeah, kind of."

"Kind of?"

"I think that my sexual awakening sort of got stuck," Drew said. "I have four on buttons, and that's it."

"Four? On, off, on higher, and on even more?"

"You, Brian, Nick, and Jeff. Nick and Jeff don't count, because I tune them out. That leaves me with you and Brian. Other people are just people."

"So a hot guy could hit on you and you wouldn't care?"

"It wouldn't matter."

"So tell me about Rick and where he took you and why and what made the reporters attack."

"We went to this club. It's supposed to be really popular. We were there at the wrong time, so it was empty. We just talked for a while, walked around some. He's really involved. Nick?" Drew asked as Nick came closer. "What are you doing?"

"I like to have sex with you when you've just been working out," Nick said, and licked sweat from Drew's temple.

"Now?"

"Now," Nick said, running his hand up the back of Drew's thigh, under Drew's shorts.

"You don't have an off button, do you?"

"Not when you're in the room." Nick kissed Drew's neck, feeling the taut curve of his ass, tasting skin and salt and sweat, left hand slipping down the front of Drew's shorts.

"Slow down," Drew gasped.

Drew's shorts were damp with sweat, Drew's body warm, Drew's cock coming alive in Nick's hand. "Do you take requests?"

"From you, yes," Drew said, and Nick kissed him, hot, deep.

"I want you to suck me," Nick said.

Drew managed to say, in between kisses, a little breathlessly, "You might have to - - let go of me first. And do we have to - - do this here? I - - feel like someone's going to - - walk in on us. Or see - - us through the window."

"Shit," Nick said, and yanked his hands out of Drew's pants.

"Let's go upstairs," Drew said. "Brian?"

Brian let Drew pull him to his feet. "You have a good time with Rick?"

"He was nice. Very informative. Especially once he got over the starstruck thing. That still unnerves me."

"What?"

"That people treat me like I'm..."

"An international pop star?"

Drew smacked Brian's chest lightly. "Yes."

Brian smiled. "Imagine that."

Justin was asleep by the time they got home. JC parked in the garage and turned off the car. In the darkness and stillness, he looked over at Justin.

Asleep, quiet, Justin looked mature. Justin was an adult now, not a child anymore. Sometimes people, including JC, forgot how old Justin was becoming. That might have had something to do with how Justin acted; grown up and capable one moment, silly the next. But they were all guilty of that behavior.

JC reached over, let his fingertips brush along the curve of Justin's jaw, feeling golden stubble on Justin's chin. "We're home, baby," he said softly.

Asleep, reacting unconsciously to JC's presence, Justin inhaled, pouty lips almost twitching to a smile.

JC smiled and let Justin sleep a little longer.

Jeff was tired of answering the phone. They'd let it go for a while, but now it was nearing the time when Jive would give them a response, and they couldn't afford to miss that call. So they kept picking up, only to find one more inquisitive reporter on the other end.

Finally they sat on the bed, the phone between them, and took turns answering. They'd turned off their personal cell phones to deter reporters, leaving only the apartment phone on, since that was the line Jive would use. During the bouts of silence between rings, Nick read Sports Illustrated and Jeff watched Nick.

"Hello? No comment."

"Hello?" Nick's eyes widened; he reached for Jeff. Jeff took his hand, staring at him, tense with anticipation. Nick smiled broadly.

"Yes!" Nick put his hand over Jeff's mouth. Jeff licked him; his smile grew.

As soon as Nick hung up, he grabbed Jeff, possessing Jeff's mouth, deep and enthusiastic.

"We got it," Jeff said.

"We got it!" Nick exclaimed, and kissed him again. "We got it, we got it!"

"I'll call Justin, you call Drew."

"I knew we could do it."

Jeff kissed him. "I'm a very lucky man."

"Because we got Jive or because we're about to have sex once we hang up the phone?"

"Both," Jeff said. "But I meant because I have you."

"You're right. You're very lucky to have me."

Jeff pushed him. "Call Drew."

Nick gazed at the ceiling. Damn. Now that had been a good orgasm. Nothing quite like Drew's mouth taking in his cock.

Oh. Oh, hell yeah. Mmm. Drew's tongue on his nipple wasn't bad, either.

Oh, yes, this was...so good... Nick parted his lips for Brian's kiss.

"The phone," Drew said suddenly.

"What?" Brian asked, kissing Nick some more.

"Be right back."

"Where are you going?" Nick asked.

"Be right back." Drew kissed him quickly and hurried from the room.

"He's running around the house naked," Brian said, and smiled. "Drew's running around the house naked."

Nick grinned. Brian smiled back at him, kissed him again. "Have to get him to do that more often," Nick suggested, licking Brian's canines.

"Every," Brian gasped, "day." Brian slid down against him, then swung one leg over, getting astride him, and he could feel Brian's hard cock at his hip.

Drew ran back in, setting a phone on the nightstand.

"Phone sex?" Nick asked. "What?" he asked when they began to laugh at him. "We've had sex over the phone. Brian and I have had sex while we're on the phone with you. This is the next logical step."

"Sex with a phone?" Brian asked.

"What would you do with it?" Drew asked.

Nick thought about it. Glanced at the phone. Raised his eyebrows wickedly.

"No," Brian said. "No way."

"You'd never really do that," Drew said. The phone rang; he reached for it. "Hello? No. Yes. Yes! You're kidding! I can't...yes, yes. No. Yes! We got it!" He dropped the phone, turning to Brian and Nick. "We got it! We're in Jive!"

"That's great!" Brian exclaimed, hugging him. "I can't believe it!" Nick squeezed him.

"It's not final yet. We have to go in tomorrow morning to sign paperwork. And then Universal has to release us."

"It'll be so good," Nick promised.

"Jive will take good care of you," Brian said.

"Should we do the official Jive welcome?" Nick asked.

"What's that?" Drew asked.

"You get to screw the Jive employee of your choice."

"Oh," Drew said. "You have AJ's number?"

Nick glared at Drew. "That was funny."

"It was," Brian agreed.

"I only get one employee?" Drew asked.

"Well...I guess...I mean, you have to make up for Jeff and Nick and Justin," Nick said. "So you get four employees."

"Or two employees twice," Brian said.

"Better get started," Nick said, sliding down again, raising his arms over his head, displaying his long, young body to its best advantage.

Let's stop this tonight. -"Quit Playing Games (With My Heart)"

Justin closed the bathroom door and leaned his forehead against it, palms pressed to the wood. He just had to calm down here.

"Justin?" JC asked from the shower.

Shit. He'd tried to be quiet so JC wouldn't hear him, wouldn't know that he was in here. JC seemed to have Justin radar anyway. "Yeah." He waited for more, waited for JC to ask. But JC didn't say anything else. Which was good. Because what was he supposed to say? I woke up and you were gone, so I came to find you, and I really want to fuck you right now, so can you just bend over? No way would JC let him get any sex now. Not after last night. Not after, god, he said shit and JC just took it. Why couldn't JC just get mad back at him, make it personal, take it to the next level? No, JC just tried to calm him down, wouldn't give it back to him. Like they were fighting on two totally different fronts. He was trying to hurt JC, and JC wouldn't hurt him back.

Should have expected that, though. Should have known JC wouldn't hurt him, even if he went off on JC all the time like he kept doing.

The shower stopped. Time to go. Get out of here, Justin, get out of here now, move your ass, Justin!

No. Too late. He heard the curtain being pushed aside, knew JC was stepping out, knew JC was all so naked and all so wet right behind him.

He couldn't help it. He had to look.

Oh, god.

He turned, pressing his back against the wall, spreading his thighs, and JC was there, right there, all up against him, getting his boxers and T-shirt wet, invading his mouth, and there was a hand on his ass a finger up his ass oh way to go for it, JC, just move right in there. And his body, his body was taking over now, who cared what his mind thought, his body knew JC, wanted JC, could never get enough, could never get close enough. It betrayed him every time, every single time.

JC's hand found his cock, long fingers stroking down his sensitive skin sparking pleasure through his body, and JC said, through their kiss, "You want me here or in the bedroom?"

How did JC know? How did JC know what he wanted, know right this moment just what he'd been wanting? He pushed at JC, JC's chest, JC's shoulders, smacking JC's hands out of his boxers. "Get the fuck away from me!"

For one long second, JC looked very, very angry. And then it was gone. "Sorry," JC said. He ran his hand over his damp hair, reached for a towel, turned away from Justin.

Justin stared, heart racing, furious, desperate, watching JC's tight, muscular body, JC's shoulders, JC's long, slender back, the taut curves of that gorgeous ass. "What the fuck is wrong with you?" What? Shit! He hadn't meant to say that, hadn't meant to-

JC had turned, was looking at Justin, knotting the towel around his waist. "And here I thought you had a whole list drawn up of my flaws, ranked in order of frequency and importance."

His clothes were damp and his cock was hard, still hard, why was he still hard, god damn it, "I hate you."

"Excuse me."

"Where are you going?"

"To get dressed."

"I'm talking to you!"

"You can talk to me while I get dressed."

"I don't want you dressed, I want you naked in my bed."

"Our bed."

"My bed."

"Then you can pay for the broken headboard."

"And you can get the fuck out of my apartment."

"Our apartment."

"My apartment."

"We found it together, we pay for it together, we live here together, it has both of our stuff in it-"

"It's my apartment and I want you the fuck out of it."

"You want me to move out."

"Yes."

"When?"

"Now's good."

"Why?"

"It feels good."

"It feels good to throw me out of my own home."

"Yes. Isn't that what you want? You always ask me how you can make me feel good, are you making me feel good - - this feels good, this feels damn good."

"Okay." JC came right up to him, looked him directly in the eye. "Tell me you want me to move out."

"I want you to move out."

"No. Say my name."

"What?"

"Say, 'I want you to move out, JC.'"

"What? Why?" His gut clenched.

"Say it."

"No."

"Say it."

"No!"

"Say it." JC didn't look angry, just firm; wasn't raising his voice, just kept looking hard into Justin's eyes. He'd always seemed to have this uncanny ability to look into Justin's eyes and see Justin, see through everything right into what was really going on in there.

He couldn't, he couldn't, he knew that he couldn't and JC knew that he couldn't and there was no reason on earth why he couldn't, but he couldn't. He couldn't say that. It was so stupid and so simple but he'd never be able to do it. He was angry and his heart hurt and, "I want you to move out."

JC looked at him. He knew that there were tears in his eyes but he'd be damned if he started crying. JC nodded. "Okay." And JC moved past him, left the bathroom.

"I can't believe we're really doing this."

"Could be a huge mistake," Jeff said, closing the refrigerator door.

"That really helps," Nick said, sorting through the silverware drawer.

"It's the truth."

"It's not a huge mistake, it's something we wanted to do; it's going to be a great career move."

Jeff reached over Nick's right shoulder, opening the cupboard, his left hand cupping Nick's ass through Nick's jeans. "I just keep having this fear that we'll go in to sign the contract and they'll pull something on us."

"Like what?"

"What are you doing?"

"What are you doing?" Nick countered.

"Getting breakfast."

"Grabbing my butt," he corrected.

"I'm not allowed?"

"I keep forgetting which of us is supposed to be the horny one."

"I think you are."

"Then why are you grabbing me?"

"Because I'm the dominant one, and-"

"Excuse me? You're what?" Nick asked, laughing.

"I'm the dominant one."

"Since when?"

"Where have you been?"

"You can't even keep a straight face."

"Straight face, that's funny, Nick, that's very funny."

"That's why I'm laughing."

"No, you're laughing because you think it's so ridiculous that I'm the dominant one."

"Jeff, if you're the dominant one, what does that make me?" Nick asked, knowing the answer, wanting to make a point.

"The subordinate one."

"I think it's 'submissive.'"

"Okay, the submissive one. Sub-something."

"And you think I'm submissive?"

"Sure."

"What?" He hadn't expected that answer.

"I'm the dom, you're the sub." Jeff snapped his fingers and pointed to the floor. "Suck my dick."

Nick snorted and went back to the silverware.

"You're not going to?"

"You can suck mine if you want." Nick closed the drawer and turned around again, leaning back against the counter casually in an inviting pose.

"You really think I'm going to do it."

"I do."

Jeff looked Nick over, assessing. "You have a great body."

"I know." Nick smiled.

"Okay. I'll do it," Jeff decided, setting his glass on the table. "But just this once."

"You really masturbate?"

Brian almost hit the car in front of him. "What?"

"You said that you do. When?"

"Nick, that's... I don't know."

"You're embarrassed."

"I'm not embarrassed."

"You're embarrassed."

"You wouldn't be embarrassed if I asked you?"

"No. I don't jerk off, anyway. I want to. I think I'm going to later today. There's something so dirty about it."

"It's not dirty. It's natural and healthy."

"Then why do you feel guilty and embarrassed?"

"Can we change the subject?"

"No. Drew jacks himself."

"Not now," Brian said.

"Of course he's not going to do it now," Nick said. "Other people might see."

"I meant he doesn't do it anymore, now that we're all together again."

"Maybe he does." Nick turned, looked to the backseat. "Have you jerked off since we came home?"

"No," Drew said.

"You want to do it now?"

"Not in the car."

"Damn." Nick turned around again. "Drew and I don't do it. I didn't even think about it. Because I'm getting laid so often it seems like a waste to come by myself. But I like jerking off. Feels good."

"I'm ignoring you," Brian said, flicking on his turn signal.

"I can't believe you still do that. Let me watch."

"No."

"I bet Drew would let me watch."

Brian glanced into the rearview mirror.

"I'm going to get myself off tonight. It's been a long time. It's been years. Years. Years, Brian. With you around I get sex every day."

"You're not going to drop it, are you?" Brian asked.

"No. Should I do it in bed or the shower?"

"Don't waste water."

"I want to watch you get off."

"Sorry."

"You're no fun."

Brian parked, turned off the car. "You'll have to have fun all by yourself, then."

Nick glared at him and got out of the car. "Drew?"

"Yeah?" Drew asked as Brian locked the car.

"I want you to masturbate."

Drew glanced around the parking lot, hoping that no one had overheard.

"You don't even have to let me watch, or tell me when. I just want to think that you're off touching yourself sometimes. And that sometimes Brian jacks himself."

"I'll think about it."

"Yeah, so will I," Nick said, grinning. "Okay, let's go, time for work."

"Come see us when you're finished," Brian told Drew.

"Hey, when you sign, what are you going to sign as?" Nick asked.

Drew smiled. "My legal name."

"Say it out loud so it's fun for my ears."

"Nick Carter's Sex Toy."

While Brian collapsed against the car in laughter, Nick stared at Drew, mouth open, eyes wide. "Sing pretty," Drew said, and walked across the parking lot. Nick watched him go, stunned.

"What did you do to him?" Nick asked.

"Me?" Brian asked, still amused.

"He wasn't like this before."

"It's not my fault." Brian watched Drew enter Jive.

"You're a bad influence on him."

"I'm a bad influence?" Brian repeated.

"I didn't teach him to talk like that!"

"Maybe he's just like that. He does have that glitter."

"You think it's body glitter?"

"I hope so."

"You think we could get him to use it?"

"We don't even know why he has it or where he got it."

"I'll find out."

"It's none of our business."

"We can ask, can't we?"

"Come on, we're going to be late."

"Hope Drew comes listen to us sing."

"He will."

"Hey."

"I've been waiting for that."

"What?"

"That gleam in your eye. And the answer is no."

"I didn't say anything yet!"

"I know what you're going to say."

"No you don't."

"Then what were you going to say?"

"You're really going to say no?"

"Yes, I'm really going to say no."

"Damn. Can't we try?"

"No."

"Can't we at least ask Drew?"

"No."

"I bet he'd say yes."

"He'll say no, and I'm saying no."

"I bet JC and Justin do it. Or they used to."

"We're not doing it."

"I'm going to ask Drew."

"He'll say no."

"Drew doesn't say no to me."

"Yes, he does."

"I can talk him into it. And then he'll talk you into it."

"I don't know why you want to try every bad cliche."

"It sounds like fun. You still haven't fisted me, you know. Either of you."

"You'll live." Brian hesitated. "Does it really mean that much to you?"

"What?"

Brian paused. "Fisting."

"You can't even say it."

"I just did say it."

"I want to try it. I really want to try it."

"Okay."

"What?"

"Okay. I'll do it. But I don't want Drew to be uncomfortable."

"If he doesn't want to do it...he might not even want to watch. But I want him to be there."

"We'll talk with him."

"You'll really do it?"

"If you want me to."

"And you'll let me watch you jack yourself?"

"Nick-"

"And you'll let me give you a blowjob in the-"

"Nick!"

"Damn. Thought I was on a roll."

Lance entered the sound booth. "Morning."

"Hey," Chris said from his chair, sounding utterly dejected.

"They're not here yet?"

"Justin's here," Joey said. "Somewhere."

"What about JC?"

"He came in and dropped off Justin, but he left again," Joey said. "He's spending the morning finding a new place to live."

"What? They're moving?"

"Justin's kicking him out of the apartment."

"You can't be serious. Guys. JC's moving out?"

"He's taking my apartment for a day or two," Chris said. "Under the condition that I stay with Howie the whole time."

"He can't do this."

"It was Justin's idea," Joey said.

"I don't care! They can't do this. How is this going to solve anything? They keep making everything worse."

"The press is going to have a field day," Joey said.

"Speaking of that, what is with this story that Drew's cheating on Brian and Nick?" Chris asked.

"I really wish that those people would leave us alone," Lance said. "Like you can't walk around town with somebody."

"You think the press will make it worse for JC and Justin?" Chris asked. "Or are they too involved in themselves to notice?"

"JC will notice," Joey said.

The door opened and they fell silent. Justin muttered a greeting, grabbed some sheet music from his bag, and left again. The door closed.

"He has cornrows," Lance said.

"Yep," Joey said.

"I thought that JC did that for him," Lance said.

"Yep," Joey said.

"He's kicking JC out of their apartment, but JC's still taking the time and attention to do his hair?"

"Yep," Joey said.

"Either JC's a saint or very, very disturbed."

"Yep," Chris said. Joey smiled.

"I can't believe this!" Jeff shouted as the door closed.

"Maybe we should call in the lawyers," Justin said.

"Representation might help," Nick agreed.

"A good kick in the ass might help," Jeff said. "What do they think they're pulling?"

"Are you sure they did this for JC and Justin?" Justin asked Drew.

"Yes," Drew said. "They did a special renegotiation of the contract and added the clause."

"So, what? They're special?" Nick asked.

"Apparently so," Drew said.

"I'm not signing this," Jeff said.

"You shouldn't," Justin said.

"What are our options?" Nick asked.

"We sign," Drew said. "We don't sign, Jive gives in, we sign. We don't sign, Jive kisses us good-bye, we go back to Universal and try there. But Universal may not be any better than Jive, so either we'll have to compromise ourselves or look for another label."

"I'm not signing this," Jeff repeated.

"You think they'll give in?" Nick asked.

"If they won't, we'll go back to Universal," Jeff said.

"That's no guarantee," Nick said.

"I can't believe this," Jeff said.

"It does seem pretty stupid that I'm the one whose spouse will get benefits, and I'm single," Justin said. "You're married, and you get diddly-squat."

"Give me the phone," Jeff said to Nick. "I left mine at home."

Nick handed over his cell phone. "Who are you calling?"

"Rick. What's his number?"

"Rick who?"

"Wenger."

"You're calling Rick?" Drew asked.

"Hello, I'd like the number for Rick Wenger, please."

"What are you doing?" Nick asked.

"Thank you." Jeff waited. "Hi, Rick, it's Jeff Timmons-Lachey."

"Drew should be here by now."

Brian checked the clock. "It hasn't been that long."

"How long does it take to sign your name?"

"Maybe they're negotiating."

"Can we sing?" AJ asked.

"I can, can you?" Nick asked.

"Did you guys hear that JC's moving out?" Howie asked.

"He's leaving Justin?" Nick asked, shocked.

"Justin's kicking him out."

"You think they can handle living apart?" Kevin asked.

"No way," Brian said.

"They're so perfect for each other," Nick said.

"Maybe too perfect," AJ said.

"But if they can split up, anybody can," Nick said.

"Not anybody," Brian said. "Not us."

"Can we give it one more try?" Scott asked.

"You're a little flat," Lance said.

"I know," Justin said impatiently. "I can't hit anything right. My throat feels all closed up."

"Why don't you take a break?" Joey asked.

"That won't help," Justin said.

"Take a break anyway," Joey said. "Walk around for a while."

Scott turned off the mike. "His range is shot. We can't use any of this."

"I know," Lance said. "JC should be in soon. That might help."

"Might make it worse," Scott said.

"Thanks for being patient."

"It's your money."

"I can't believe you just did that," Nick said.

"You could have asked us," Drew said.

"He owes us a favor," Jeff said, handing the phone back to Nick.

"For what?" Drew asked. "He didn't do anything. It was the press."

"I talked to him last night," Jeff said.

"You what?"

"We had a good conversation. He said that if I ever needed a favor, I should let him know. I just called in my favor."

"I can't believe you."

"If we want domestic partner benefits, we should get them. But the four of us complaining might not do anything. He has connections and influence. If he goes to the media, it'll be a lot more official and respectable."

"You really think Jive will care?" Justin asked.

"Guess we'll find out."

JC stepped into the sound booth. "What did I miss?"

"Justin sounds like crap," Joey said from his chair.

"Getting desperate here," Scott said. "You think you can work more of that magic like yesterday?"

"I can try," JC said. "What do you need?"

A moment later, Joey and Lance left the sound booth, and JC slipped in to see Justin, who had thrown the headphones and ripped some of the sheet music. "Bad day?"

"Fuck off."

"Hey. Calm down." JC reached; Justin jerked away from him. JC held onto Justin's shoulders, made Justin stand still. His right hand moved up to cup Justin's chin, bringing Justin's gaze to his.

"What?"

"Just admiring how beautiful you are."

"What are you doing here?" Justin asked irritably to disguise how affected he was.

"I work here," JC said. "Scott played me some of the tracks. Your throat's too tight. You're reaching for the notes instead of getting on top of them." He stopped touching Justin, letting his hands drop.

"I know."

"Stop straining. You know you can do it."

"What's this, a pep talk?"

"Justin, when is the last time you were relaxed?"

"What?"

"When is the last time you were relaxed? Really relaxed."

"I don't know."

"Here. Let's try something."

"I don't want to try something."

"Too bad." JC found the headphones, handing them over to Justin. "You sing."

"That's great advice."

"Go ahead."

"What?"

"Sing."

"I don't have music," he said, referring to the torn pages scattered on the floor.

"You don't need it. You know the song."

"JC-"

"I wrote it for you." He stood there, looking into Justin's eyes. "Now you sing it for me." Without turning his gaze from Justin's, he signaled to Scott behind him, and the music began in Justin's ears. "Sing for me."

Justin couldn't. He pulled off the headphones and thrust them at JC wordlessly.

"You know the song, Justin. You sang it for me before."

"You like it so much, you sing it."

"It's your song."

"You wrote it."

"It's yours. Everything I write for you belongs to you. Everything I have is yours. You know that."

"You're so full of shit."

"Why?"

"Everything you have isn't mine. Everything I have is yours. You've taken over my life." JC didn't say anything. "Everything I do, everything I have, you take it, you want it, you have to be involved in it. You get in really really close, and then you pull away, you do it on purpose, all of this 'I need you I love you I'm devoted to you' right before you leave me, you do it all on purpose just to make me dependent on you. You're sick, JC, you're sick and you're twisted and you've been pulling this shit for years."

"It's all my fault?"

"Yes! Yes! You're the one who keeps fucking with my head! You made me dependent! You were obsessed and passive-aggressive and screwing with me! You need me to need you. But I'm getting over it. I'm getting over you." He snatched the headphones back again. "Get out of here."

JC looked at him. Justin straightened the music left on the stand. "Justin?"

"What," Justin said, not looking at him, fingers trembling.

"I'm sick of you treating me badly. I'm sick of you shouting at me all of the time. I'm sick of you saying that you need me and then shoving me away every second. I'm sick of you using me for sex. You know I love you more than anything on this world, but I don't deserve any of this. If you want to act like an adult, let me know. Until then, you're on your own."

JC left. The door closed.

matthew@matthewtime.com
"Destiny" Part Seven
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