Destiny: Part Seven

Destiny, a story in 13 parts, sixth in the "Living" series

Rating: NC-17 for graphic male-male sex

Disclaimer: The young men who comprise 98 Degrees, the Backstreet Boys, and *NSYNC are their own people. The author has not met anyone here described, nor does the author mean to suggest that these people act this way in real life. This writing is a work of fiction. I make no money from this venture.

Dedication: This slashfic is for Ewan McGregor, the Savage Garden slashers, and anyone who's actually following this series. "Destiny" Part Seven is for Becky, who suggested one of the scenes - - although if I tell you which one, it'll ruin the story.

Notice: "Living" series: "I Need You Tonight," "Boy Lead the Way to Ecstasy," "Not Easy," "No One," and "Rest in Peace."

Destiny is everything. -"Set Adrift on Memory Bliss"

"Destiny" Part Seven: It's time to let go -"I'll Never Break Your Heart"

"You want a ride home?" Nick asked.

"No thanks," Drew said. "I'm going to hang around here. Maybe they'll let me sit in for a while."

"No helping them," Jeff said.

"Even if they beg," Nick said.

"We'll see you later," Jeff said.

"Bye," Drew said, and headed for the stairs. He was here. In Jive. His new place of employment. It was a heady feeling, a new adventure. Already it was clear that this wouldn't be a musical paradise. But there were new possibilities everywhere now. A fresh start. And so it was with a smile on his face that Drew slipped into the Backstreet Boys's recording session.

"Ah! Interloper!" AJ shouted. "Back, back, out!"

"Drew!" Nick said, and came over for a warm kiss. "You signed? You're here?"

"He's a spy," AJ said. "Get him out."

"It took a while," Brian said. "Everything go okay?"

"There were a few problems," Drew said. "We wanted domestic partner benefits, and they said no."

"They said no?" Brian asked. "JC and Justin got them."

"Jeff called Rick Wenger, and Rick said that Jive had a choice: negative publicity, good publicity, or silence. They wanted silence. So they gave the benefits, we signed the contracts, and Rick's going to keep quiet."

"You sold out," Nick said, sounding surprised, disappointed.

"What?" Brian asked.

"Drew sold out."

Drew nodded. "I know. But we wanted Jive."

"How did you sell out?" Brian asked.

"We got the benefits but we're keeping quiet about them. So Jive's reputation doesn't suffer any more than it already has for being good to gays."

"I can't believe you," Nick said.

"They wanted us, but they'd rather have the public think that they're not giving gay people 'preferential treatment' than have the public think that they're treating us like equal human beings. So it was either get the benefits and keep quiet, or go back to Universal on our hands and knees."

"What's with the frown?" AJ asked Brian.

"Our contract's up next year," Brian said. "I was going to ask for domestic partner benefits for Drew."

"Yeah, but you should have no problem," Nick said. "What, they're going to say no to you? And risk losing you, risk losing the Backstreet Boys?"

"They might," AJ said. "They could gamble on it, figuring that in the end you'll stay either way."

"If they don't give it to me, I won't stay," Brian said.

"They're not going to risk you leaving," Nick said. "No way. You'll have no problem."

"Are you mad at me?" Drew asked.

"Disappointed," Nick said, shrugging. "The whole situation sounds pretty shitty."

"I know you really wanted to be here," Brian said. "I'm glad that you stood up for yourself, even to risk Jive."

"Next year," AJ said, thinking. "Domestic partner benefits, that's even if you're not married."

"It works for cohabitation, I think," Nick said.

"Hell, by next year maybe I could sign up for that," AJ said. He turned to Brian. "If you and I, and even Howie, all ask for it, there's no way they'll say no. They might try to bluff us, but they'd never risk losing us."

"You looking to settle down?" Nick asked.

"I think I am settled," AJ said.

"What is it about Lance?" Brian asked, curious.

"He sees me as a real person. He treats me like a real person," AJ said. "I like that. I need that."

JC was a consummate professional for the rest of the long day. He was focused on his work, singing and recording and producing, treating Justin like a co-worker, nice enough but emotionally distant. Their album began to come together much faster, everyone's focus turning to working and creating. They worked straight through the afternoon and long into the night.

Lance tried to figure out how JC was doing it. Could JC just turn off everything inside, close up all emotion and cut off the turmoil? Was JC doing it to punish Justin or simply for his own survival?

JC only acknowledged any sort of personal connection to Justin once, just past three when everyone was getting ready to go. He said briefly to Lance, with a nod at Justin's back, "Take him home." Then JC left without saying good-bye.

He needed his space.

The rooms were empty.

He needed his space.

The walls were closing in on him.

He needed his space.

"I need my space."

Nothing was where he'd left it.

"I need my space!"

Where was his - - oh, that was JC's.

"I need my space."

And his - - that was JC's, too.

"I need my space!"

Where were his favorite flannel shirt and his favorite headphones and that ugly potted plant and Heloise and the photograph from Greece and the calendar and JC, oh god, JC, oh god, JC, where was JC?

"I need my space."

"I need my space!"

"I need my space."

JC pushed himself up from the sofa wearily and opened the door.

"Come home."

"I thought you wanted me out of there."

"Come home."

"Justin, we just got out of the studio three hours ago, we have to be back there by-"

"Come home."

"Can you let me sleep?"

"Come home."

"What are you doing over here?"

"It's all gone. You took everything. It's all empty. Everything's missing." Justin was obviously trying very hard to keep it together, and just as obviously not talking about JC's belongings.

But JC wasn't in the mood for metaphors. "I only took my stuff, and not even all of it. Look, if you want it, take it. Take whatever you want."

Justin grabbed JC's wrist. "Come."

"What?"

"Want it, take it. I'm taking what I want. Come."

"Where?"

"Home."

"Justin-"

"Now, JC." Justin's grip tightened, and he looked at JC half with desperation and half with fierce determination. "We're going home."

"Justin, I didn't do this just to prove some point. You told me to go, and I left. Now you want me back and I'm supposed to come running?"

"Yes."

"You're hurting me," JC said, and tried to twist his wrist free of Justin's grasp; but Justin held on, wouldn't let go. "Justin, stop it."

"Come home with me."

"No!"

"Why not?!"

"I don't live at your beck and call."

"Why not?"

"You wanted space between us, Justin. There's space. You got what you wanted. I can breathe on my own now."

"I can't."

"You can," JC said, and his touch on Justin's face was gentle. "You just don't want to."

"Come back to me."

"You have to let go."

"No."

"Yes."

"I can't."

"Try."

"I don't want to."

"You're hurting me."

"Come back."

"Let go."

Justin leaned in; JC put his hand to Justin's chest, keeping Justin at bay. "No. Don't do that."

"Why not?"

JC could feel Justin's rapid heartbeat under his palm. "We promised not to use sex." He frowned. "You took out the cornrows."

"I...pulled out some of my hair."

"Justin." JC's arm came around Justin's shoulders; now Justin's heart beat fast against his chest. "It's okay."

"Come back," Justin said, closing his eyes, holding on to JC.

"You pushed me away," JC said. "You wanted distance."

"But you can come back. You'll come back."

"Back where, Justin? How close do you want me?"

"I want you inside me," Justin said, and he kissed JC.

"No," JC said, pulling back, frowning. "No, we can't."

"Make love to me."

"Let go!" JC exclaimed, and wrenched himself from Justin violently. "Ow! Damn it!" He cradled his wrist to his chest. "Damn it."

Justin quickly closed the gap between them, worried. "Oh god, JC, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Are you - - let me-"

"Go get ice or something. Damn it."

Justin hurried to Chris's kitchen, forgot about the tiny gap where the hallway floor met the kitchen floor, tripped, and went sprawling across the linoleum. Somewhere in his head he was seeing all of this as very meaningful on a metaphoric level - - he hurt JC by holding on too tightly, but when JC pulled away the pain was even worse - - but he'd hurt his knee and he was crying for some stupid reason and laughing for no reason and lying there half curled up on Chris's kitchen floor. Ow, ouch, it hurt, it hurt so much, hurt so much, he was scared and panicked and why, why, why-

Then JC was there holding him and letting him cry and letting him laugh. The laughter died pretty quickly at that point, but the sobbing got worse. JC kept holding him, just sat there and let him be.

When he finally stopped, his eyes ached and his nose was running. He sat up, stood, splashed his face at the sink, blew his nose, and handed some ice in a paper towel to JC, sitting on the floor again.

"Thanks," JC said.

"Sorry."

"Yeah."

"Please come home."

"Okay."

"Do you want to move back first or find a doctor first?"

"I want to sleep."

"We have to be back in the studio in an hour."

"I don't think that I need a doctor. It should be okay."

"Are you sure? I don't want to-"

"It's just bruised."

"You didn't pull something?"

"It's fine, Justin."

Justin sniffed and wiped at his eyes a little. "I'll start taking your stuff down to the car."

"Is your leg okay?"

"What?"

"When you got up for ice and stuff, you looked-"

"It's okay."

"Okay."

They looked at each other for a moment.

"JC, do you." He swallowed his words. "I'll load the cars."

I've tried to hide it so that no one knows / But I guess it shows
-"As Long As You Love Me"

"Brian's going to fist me and we want you to be there."

A few minutes later, when Drew had stopped choking and Brian had cleaned up the orange juice, Nick said, "Okay?"

Drew blinked a little. "When?"

"Tonight."

"All right," Drew said a bit slowly. "I'd like to be there."

"Good." Nick kissed his cheek and left the kitchen.

"It'll be okay," Brian said.

"I know," Drew said.

"If you want to do it-"

"I'd like you to do it first," Drew said. "I trust you."

Nick leaned back into the doorway. "Hey. Is that gold stuff you have regular glitter or body glitter? Or isn't there a difference?"

"You really want to know what that is?" Drew asked.

"Yeah."

Rising, coming around the table, Drew asked, "You want to know why I have it?"

"Yeah." There was an anticipatory gleam in Nick's eyes.

"You want me to tell you?" Drew asked, running an appreciative hand down Nick's chest.

"Yeah."

Drew put his hands on Nick's shoulders, rising up onto his toes, and whispered into Nick's ear, "I'm not going to tell you." He licked Nick's earlobe and went back to his seat.

Brian grinned.

"You I might tell," Drew said to Brian.

"That's not fair!" Nick protested as Brian leaned across the table to kiss Drew. "And you, you stop that. You're a bad influence on him."

"He's a great influence on me," Drew said, pushing his plate out of the way to get closer. Brian blindly moved aside a glass.

"They're going to have sex on the table," Nick said, staring.

"We don't have time," Brian said, tasting orange juice and syrup and Drew.

"We'll make it quick," Drew said as a fork clattered to the floor.

"Lube's upstairs," Nick said, wide-eyed, getting hard, watching Brian's hand unbuttoning Drew's shirt.

"Too bad," Drew said, and started to crawl onto the table towards Brian's kiss.

"You're here," Chris said.

"You're together," Joey said.

"You're happy," Lance said.

"You're hurt," Chris said.

"It's okay," JC said. "Sorry we're late."

Chris, Joey, and Lance looked at each other.

"Oh, here," JC said, and handed Chris a set of keys. "Thanks. What'd we miss?"

"They're here," AJ said, coming into the sound booth.

"Who's here?" Kevin asked.

"JC and Justin. Together."

"What happened?" Howie asked.

"Something," AJ said. "JC's arm's all bruised and they're sort of weird and distant. But they came in together, and they're not fighting."

"Where are you going?" Kevin asked Nick.

"To see them," Nick said.

"Let him go," AJ said.

"Yeah, thanks for your permission," Nick told them, and left. He hurried to the elevator, wondering what in the world JC and Justin were up to now.

When he reached the *NSYNC recording session, Chris tried to keep him out, first by yelling and then by physical force, but he wasn't about to let a short old *NSYNCer beat him. Shoving Chris aside finally, he turned his attention to the rest of the room. Chris smacked him in the back of the head and took a seat; everyone else was watching through the glass as JC and Justin talked over some sheet music, JC making notations while Justin said something.

"What are they doing?"

Joey glanced at Nick. "It's called working."

"They're not fighting."

"These Backstreet Boys are really sharp," Chris said.

Justin pointed to the music; JC, eyes on the page, following Justin's argument, reacted almost instinctively; as Justin stepped closer, JC's left hand came to the small of his back.

"What's that?" Nick asked.

"What are you doing here?" Joey asked.

"What are they doing?" Nick countered.

"Looks to me like they're getting along," Lance said.

"About time, too," Scott said.

"I'm not talking to you," Nick said. "Traitor."

"Just think of it this way," Scott said. "These guys need my help more than you guys do."

"Hey!" Chris exclaimed.

Scott turned on the microphone. "Hey, guys, not to disturb the creative process, but can we record today?"

"Just a second," JC said. To Justin, "You'll have to move faster here now."

"No, I can do it," Justin said.

"I know you can do it," JC said with a little smile, the kind that twitched the corners of his lips and lit his eyes. "I'm just saying you'll have to move faster."

"You don't think it'll sound like too much?" Justin asked, scratching his stubble, looking at JC with worry.

"No, no, it'll be great. It's not showing off, it's artistic expression."

Justin laughed. "Okay. Let's try it."

"What the fuck happened?" Nick demanded.

JC and Justin looked up, and Nick remembered that they could hear him. Chris reached over and smacked him; JC said, "Nick, what are you doing here?"

"Nothing," Nick said.

"We don't allow Backstreet Boys in the studio," Justin said.

"Afraid I might teach you how to sing?" Nick asked.

"Don't you have your own album to be screwing up?" Justin asked. "Don't be here messing with ours."

"I just wanted to talk to JC for a second," Nick said.

"He's busy," Justin said.

"One second," JC told Nick. To Justin, "Be right back." He came to the soundbooth and clicked off the microphone. To Scott, softly, "Don't ask him to start until I get back." Then he took Nick's elbow and stepped into the hallway. "What?"

"What happened to your arm?"

"Justin grabbed me."

"Shit. JC-"

"Don't worry about it."

"What's going on?"

"We're better. We're together."

"But?"

"It'll never be like it was. That's a good thing. But now it's kind of like how do we get that connection back?"

"Get it back? You never lost it."

"God, and what did I just do? I asked Scott not to start without me. Like Justin can't sing unless I'm there."

"He can't."

"He has to learn."

"That's not up to you."

"But I'm reinforcing it."

Justin opened the door. "Carter, we're trying to work here. JC, we've got too many sixteenth notes."

"Too many?"

"Count them. I thought you were the smart one."

JC accepted the paper and counted. "Great. Guess you're the smart one."

"What does that make you?"

"The pretty one."

"Okay. That works. Bye bye bye, Carter," Justin said, pulling JC in with him and closing the door.

Nick grinned. They were back. Not perfect. But they were getting there.

"Nick!" Drew came down the hallway from the stairs. "They're looking for you."

"Hey," Nick said, "who's the smart one and who's the pretty one, and if there are three of us, what's the third one?"

"I think Brian has to be the pretty one, because you're not pretty, you're handsome. Or cute. But you're not pretty."

"I used to be pretty. Can I be handsome and cute?"

"Yes."

"Good. So Brian's pretty. Guess you're the smart one. What does that make me?"

"The one who's going to be in trouble if he doesn't get back to the studio."

"Wait. What are you doing here? You guys aren't supposed to be here until tomorrow."

"Brian asked me to come. He said you needed my help with laying down vocals, but he wouldn't explain it."

Nick paused. "Brian? Said that?"

"Yeah. You know what he meant?"

"Hell yes. Come on, downstairs."

When the music began, Justin closed his eyes, but he could still see JC in the sound booth. The music was in his ears, but all he heard was JC's voice gliding up the descant.

"Damn," Scott said.

"Can we use the first take?" Lance asked, disbelieving.

"Absolutely," Scott said, and turned on the mike. "That was great, Justin! We're taking that one."

"No," Justin said, "it was flat."

"It was flat?" Joey asked.

JC nodded. "Let's try it again."

"You're sure?" Scott asked. JC nodded. "Okay, Justin. Let's try it again."

Nick pulled Brian away from the others, into the hallway. "You called Drew."

"I know."

"He's here."

"I know."

"Why?"

"You know why."

"You said we couldn't!"

"I know."

"Stop that! Why is he here?"

"I'm not going to do it. That doesn't mean that Drew might not. I can't make his decisions for him."

"You're going to ask him?"

"You're going to ask him."

"No!"

"You're the one he'd be doing it to."

"You're the one who asked him to come here."

"It was your idea."

"I wasn't really going to do it!"

"Then he can go home again."

"No! No, no. Ask him."

"You ask him."

"You ask him!"

"I'll ask him," AJ said. "Who am I asking what?"

"Go away," Nick said.

"Later," AJ said, and went into the booth.

"We really shouldn't be talking about this in the hallway," Brian said.

"You go ask him right now," Nick said.

"We can't do it now."

"Then when are we doing it?"

"When Ray goes on his lunch break. We'll get rid of everybody. It shouldn't take too long."

"Hey!"

"I didn't mean it like that. I'm not insulting Drew's technique or your stamina."

"You'd better not be. Now go ask him."

"You ask him."

"You ask him!"

"You ask him!" The door opened.

"What are you two fighting about?" Drew asked.

"Nothing," Brian said.

"We're not fighting," Nick said.

"AJ said you're arguing about something."

"AJ lies. A lot," Nick said. "Can't trust him."

"Yeah, you know how tattooed guys in hats are," Brian said.

"Funny," Drew said.

"Brian wants to ask you something," Nick said.

"No I don't."

"Yes you do."

"Not now."

"Now's good."

"Not here."

"Come," Nick said, taking Drew's hand. Drew took Brian's hand and followed Nick to-

"We're not going in the janitor's closet," Drew said.

"It's not for sex," Nick said. "Don't worry. Brian just wants to ask you something." He led them in, flipping on the overhead light, and Brian closed the door. "We're not locked in or anything, are we?"

"No," Brian said.

"Good, because that would be so cliche. Ask him."

Drew disentangled his fingers from theirs. "What are you asking me?"

"Nothing," Brian said.

"Brian wants you to suck me off," Nick said.

"I do not," Brian said. Nick snorted. Drew tried not to smile. "Okay, I do. But not now. Not here."

"In the studio," Nick said. "He wants you to go down on me in the middle of the recording session."

"What?" Drew asked.

"You know. So we can record my happy noises," Nick said.

"You're not serious," Drew said.

"That's why Brian asked you to come in today. So you can give me a blowjob."

"In the - - there are people in there."

"They'd be at lunch."

"Anybody can see."

"We'll lock the door, close the blinds."

"You asked me to come in here for this."

"Yes."

"If you want a blowjob, I can give you one at home."

"He wants you to do me here."

"You mean you want me to do you here."

"Yeah. But he's the one who called you!"

"Nick. No," Drew said.

"Damn it. I knew you'd say no."

"Nick," Brian said quickly.

"He always says no," Nick said.

"Nick," Brian said, warning.

"And he'll blow you on the kitchen table, but he won't do jack shit for me."

"Nick!"

"You are not going to guilt trip me into sex," Drew said. "It is not my personal responsibility to fulfill your sexual fantasies or your perversions."

"Perversions," Nick repeated. He had a sudden tight feeling in his chest. "You think I'm perverted?"

"I think I'm going home."

"Drew," Brian said, but Drew moved past him and left. "Drew! You stay here," Brian told Nick, and hurried after Drew.

"Fuck!" Nick exclaimed. "Fuck."

"When's the last time you ate?" JC asked.

"I don't know," Justin said, scribbling notes in the margins of his music.

"In the past twenty-four hours?"

"Before that," Justin said, distracted. "You think this might sound better?"

JC looked. "It's too high. The balance is off. Come on."

"Where?"

"Food."

"Not hungry."

"Then you can watch me eat."

Justin smiled. "Okay. Maybe I could eat something," he said, rising.

"No, you lost your chance," JC said.

"What?" Justin asked. "So now I'm just supposed to watch you and sit there all hungry?"

"Yep," JC said, opening the door.

"You won't give me anything?" Justin asked, following.

"Maybe. If you beg."

Justin laughed. "That's never a big problem with us."

JC smiled.

"You think they did it?" Joey asked.

"Who?" Lance asked.

"JC and Justin."

"Did - - do I think they've had sex? Where have you been?" Lance asked.

"No, I mean...recently. Since they got good again."

"I don't know," Lance said. "I don't think so."

"Wouldn't it help?"

"Maybe not," Lance said. "Not the way they have sex."

"How do they have sex?" Joey asked.

Lance laughed. "If you don't know that, I'm not telling you."

"I didn't mean that!" Joey said. "And don't make me think about that, either."

"Why not?"

"It's gross."

"It's gross?"

"It's gross."

"It's not gross."

"It's gross."

"I do it."

"With a Backstreet Boy. Makes it twice as gross."

"You really think it's gross?"

"I would never put my...in there."

"So it's not the two guys together thing, it's what they do together?"

"Two guys together's totally cool. You know I'm totally for JC and Justin. I just...that's sick. It's disgusting. And not in a moral sense, I mean... That never bothered you?"

"A little. The first time. But when it feels that good, you don't worry about that. It doesn't even matter."

"It feels that good?"

"It feels that good."

Joey shuddered.

Lance laughed.

"We're laughing and not working?" Justin asked, walking in on them.

"We're talking about sex," Lance said.

"Sex is fun," Justin said. "I like sex."

"Do you think..." Lance searched for a term. "What do we call it?"

"I don't know, what are we talking about?" Justin asked.

"You're not going to ask him," Joey told Lance.

"Sure," Lance said. "The only better person to ask is Nick."

"We're not going there," Joey said.

"What are we talking about?" Justin asked.

"I don't like the word 'sodomy,'" Lance said. "But anal sex sounds clinical."

"Do I think what about sex?" Justin asked.

"You think it's gross?" Lance asked.

"Getting it done or doing it? Either way, no way. It's awesome. It's like the best thing ever. Straight guys are missing out on so much, you have no idea," Justin told Joey.

"It doesn't bother you? Putting your..."

"Putting my what?" Justin asked innocently.

"Putting your dick up somebody's... And having somebody else..."

"It's not just somebody," Justin said. "It's JC. JC can do whatever he wants to me. And don't start knocking on where I put my dick until you've tried it yourself."

"Did he just tell me to screw JC?" Joey asked Lance.

"I think so," Lance said.

Justin snorted. "You can try it. I'd love to see his reaction. Besides, it isn't like anal sex is the most extreme thing."

"What else do you do?" Joey asked, beginning to get scary ideas.

"Nothing bad," Justin said. "The worst thing's probably rimming."

"What's...rimming?"

Lance looked at the ceiling.

Justin glanced at Lance and smiled. "Guess you must know."

"Maybe," Lance said.

"What is it?" Joey asked.

"What's what?" JC asked, coming into the room.

"Rimming," Joey said.

"Whoa, what did I miss?" JC asked.

"Joey wants to have sex with you," Justin said.

"Who doesn't?" JC asked.

"I do not," Joey said.

"Too late, secret's out," Justin said. "Rimming. Rimming is licking around that place you're so scared to put your dick."

Joey's eyes widened. "You're...you put your tongue there?"

"Why not?" Justin asked.

"That's gross!"

"You need some new girlfriends," Justin said. "You find one who'll lick your butt, and then you come back and tell me it's a bad bad thing."

"That has to feel so weird."

"Feels good," Justin said. "When you're off screwing JC you can try it."

"Are you guys normal?" Joey asked.

"Normal how?" JC asked.

"No," Lance said.

"We're perfectly normal, totally normal," Justin said. "We are the norm."

"No, I mean... I always used to think that gay guys... Like one was on top and the other was on the bottom. Like there were...roles. You guys do everything to each other, though, right?"

"Yeah," Justin said. Lance nodded.

"There are a lot of guys who consider themselves tops, or only like to bottom," JC said. "So maybe we're not normal, or maybe there is no normal."

"So you're totally okay with... I can't see letting anybody do that to me," Joey said.

"You're straight," Lance said. "It's okay. You don't have to understand."

"You're just used to doing it to girls," Justin said. "Maybe that's why a lot of guys like to top, because they're brought up thinking that's what guys do. And obviously it's not that easy for some guys, letting somebody take them like a girl - - I mean, Drew's been with Nick for two years, he's married to Brian, and he's still not letting them."

"How'd you...decide you'd let somebody do that to you?" Joey asked.

"Have you been wanting to ask this stuff all of this time?" JC asked. "If you want to know, you can ask us."

"How did I decide?" Justin asked. "I don't know. I guess I figured out I was in love with JC, I mean, I'd been in love with him for ages and I just never really let myself feel it. And then we started making out and stuff...and stuff...and it was all so good... I guess I just - - I loved him and I trusted him and I knew he'd keep making me feel that good. And I knew that was something we could do, so it was something I wanted to do, to be close like that."

"I loved AJ, I trusted AJ...and he made me really horny," Lance admitted, smiling. "That's all it takes."

"What about you?" Joey asked JC.

"The first time?" JC asked. "I wanted Justin to be inside of me. That's how I made the decision. After that, I realized what it actually felt like, and I never thought twice about it."

"You guys are totally ruining the stereotype," Joey asked. "It's supposed to be hormonal. You're all talking about love and trust and romantic stuff."

"But you asked about the very first time we ever let someone take us," Lance said. "Making out is all about hormones, and sex is about hormones, but the first time there was other stuff involved. That's a big step, for me, at least. I'd never been with a guy before. I wanted it to be right - - even if it wasn't perfect, even if it was awkward and messy, I wanted it to be right."

"Was it awkward and messy?"

"Guy sex is messy," Justin said.

"The first time it can be a little - - you have to get the positioning right," Lance said. "And the first time, you aren't perfect and skilled at it."

"But if it's right, it's good, and then that stuff doesn't matter," Justin said. "My first time was the best. The best ever. No one had as good a first time as I had."

"I won't even bother to argue," Lance said.

"I'm not going to argue," JC said.

"It didn't hurt?" Joey asked.

"No," Justin said.

"Yes," JC said.

"No it didn't," Justin said.

"Justin, I was there," JC said.

"I don't remember it hurting," Justin said. "I just remember this serious high feeling and all of these explosions and JC making me feel so good. And I remember the first time he touched that gland inside and it felt so good it was like...scary."

"That's all you remember?" JC asked.

"Everything felt good and it was all because of you. That's it. Why? I missed something? What do you remember?"

"I remember you were very young and very beautiful. And I was trying my best to make you feel good so you wouldn't be scared and you wouldn't be hurt. I'd never wanted anything more in my life."

"You guys are so in love with each other," Joey said.

"Are we?" Justin asked, and he looked at JC, and everything stopped.

"Yes," JC said, about to frown, about to smile.

"Do you love me?" Justin asked. And Joey realized that he really, truly, was asking. He really, truly, didn't know.

"Yes," JC said. "Justin, I love you." He looked worried, surprised.

"Okay," Justin said, backing up, reaching for the doorknob. "I have to go get, um, Scott, so we can, yeah," and he left quickly.

"Would you guys care if we left early?" JC asked, heading for the door.

"No, we've gotten a lot done," Lance said. "You go ahead."

JC nodded, stepping out into the hallway. "Justin. Justin!"

Justin stopped, turned. "JC."

"Where are you going?"

"To get Scott."

"It's been kind of rough around here, and I've gotten no sleep. I'm going home."

"Does your wrist hurt?"

"It's okay. You want to come home with me?"

"Shouldn't we keep working?"

"I think we could use a break."

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah. Just for a few hours, go home, relax, get some sleep."

"Okay. That sounds good."

"Nick?"

"Where've you been?" Nick asked, frowning.

"Where is everybody?"

"Scott went to lunch, AJ and Kevin went to do something, Howie's off with Chris somewhere."

Brian walked around behind Nick, who was sitting on a stool. "How's it going?"

"It sucks. We keep screwing up this part, and we could have used your help. It's your stupid song."

Brian raised his eyebrows.

"Sorry."

"It's okay. You're upset about Drew?" Brian asked, putting a hand on Nick's shoulder.

"Would you hit me next time I start talking like that? I don't even know what I said, he has to hate me. Just kick me in the balls or something."

"I like your balls."

"Yeah, well, Drew doesn't."

"He does. You know what?" Brian stroked Nick's hair.

"What?"

"We're alone. In a recording session."

"Funny."

"Want to?"

"Want to what? You said you wouldn't."

"I know."

"And I'm not in the mood."

"You're not in the mood? I'm sorry to hear that."

"What are you doing?"

"Putting my hands over your eyes."

"Why?"

"Do you want me to stop?"

"I want to know what the fuck you think you're oh shit. Oh shit. Oh shit."

"What's wrong?"

"Brian, oh god, Brian, if, then...oh...Drew...god...yes..." Nick moaned, hips rising from the seat. "Yes, like that, yes, oh god." Keeping one hand on the seat for support, Nick's other hand came to the back of Drew's head, urging Drew onward. "Love this, love you, so good, you're so fucking good at this." He moaned, losing his vocabulary, losing the ability to form words, hissing when he felt Drew's tongue on the head of his cock. He wasn't quite as sensitive there as Drew was; he loved getting his mouth on Drew's cock and making Drew twitch and groan at every little lick.

He could feel Drew's hands on his hips, Drew's mouth moving down, down, oh, all the way, teach this boy to deep throat and Drew wouldn't stop. Oh, the humming, not the humming, it vibrated all though him, zinging pleasure up over his cock and into his balls, into his spine, all over, god damn this felt so good, all of that wet heat closed around him, snug deep in Drew's throat.

And Brian's hands were still over his eyes, but this was Drew, he knew Drew, he knew the way Drew felt, the way Drew tasted him, the way Drew - - yeah, oh yeah, the way Drew did that, too, he was going to come, come, come, yes...

"Oh god, Drew."

He was licked up and tucked away, and then Brian's hands left his eyes, and Drew kissed him, took his breath away, sucked his tongue like one blowjob hadn't been enough. His hand ran all by itself down over Drew's ass, tight round ass, he wanted to get his hand inside Drew's jeans, inside Drew's underwear.

"I'm sorry," Drew said.

Drew had the lousiest timing ever. Or the best. Of course Drew would start apologizing for God-knew-what right when Nick was having "Wanna fuck Drew" thoughts. Now Nick felt hideously guilty, because here he was getting greedy over something he knew better than to ask for, and Drew was apologizing to him. Why was Drew apologizing to him? He reluctantly stopped kissing and asked, "Why?"

"For going back and forth. For asking you to make love to me and always saying no when you try. I know you're getting frustrated, and-"

"What?" Nick asked. "Stop, no. It's not your fault I can't keep my mouth shut or my hands to myself. And you're not doing anything wrong, you can't apologize."

"But I... I don't mean to lead you on, or to act like a... I'm sorry. I know that you want to make love to me. You've been waiting for years now."

"Only two years. But I've had you for all of that time, I get to do other stuff. I'm not with you just so I can get laid. If I just wanted sex I could be with anybody. And yeah, I want to fuck you, but if I don't get to, I don't get to. I just need to stop talking about it all of the time."

"What if I'm not good?"

"What?"

"What if I'm not good?"

"At what?"

"When you make love to me. What if it's not good for you?"

"How is that possible?"

"It's been two years, you've been waiting. The idea has taken on great importance. Maybe we're building it up to be a lot better than it's going to be. I won't even know what I'm doing."

"All you have to do is lie there and let me make you come. I'm the one doing the work. Or Brian's the one doing the work. You just get to sit back and enjoy. Here I am worried I'll hurt you or something, and you think it won't be good for us?"

"I don't know. I want you and Brian to like it."

"Brian, are you worried you won't like it?" Nick asked.

"Not for a second," Brian said.

"Brian gets to go first. He's all romantic and in love with you, so you know it'll be good for him. And when it's my turn, I like everything about you, and I'm just horny anyway, so you know I'll like it."

"I wish you wouldn't do that," Drew said.

"Do what?" Nick asked. He liked the way Drew's fingers were playing with his hair. Even if it totally messed up the style. And he liked how Drew was still hard from sucking him off but wasn't even doing anything about it.

"You know what," Drew said gently.

Out of nowhere, nowhere, Nick's eyes filled with tears. Shit shit shit.

"I love you," Drew said.

Shitshitshit shitshitshit shitshitshit.

"I'm in love with you." Drew stroked his hair. "For a lot of reasons. You're a very special person, Nick."

Shitshitshitshitshitshitshitshitshit-

Brian's familiar arms came around him, embracing him from behind, and he felt Brian kiss the top of his head. "Very special," Brian said softly, voice sweet and warm in his ear and incredibly sincere.

Now they were ganging up on him, that was so unfair, how could they do this to him? God, he was just going to start crying now, there was no way to cover this up, just sitting here about to cry in front of them.

"Like you said about yourself, we can get sex anywhere," Drew said. "We can even get great, fantastic sex. We're with you for the other things. The more important things."

"I love you for so many reasons I don't have enough words to name them all," Brian said. Only Brian could say something like that and mean it, make him feel it.

"I hate you," Nick said, trying to hold back the tears.

"I'm sorry," Drew said.

"You should be," Nick snapped, only he sounded choked up and watery.

"You okay?" Brian asked.

"No. Leave me alone."

"I just wish you wouldn't pretend that it's all about sex for you, that that's all you're worth. We all know better. And I know that it hurts you inside," Drew said.

"But that's..."

"That's what?" Brian asked.

"How I got you. Both of you. That's how I got you. That's how I can keep you," he said in a desperate, cleansing rush.

"Nick," Drew said, looking hurt suddenly. No, hurt and worried and yeah, hurt some more. "Nick, that's not true at all. That's never... You think that?"

"You were good and I seduced you and now I have you and-"

"No, no," Drew said, hazel eyes pretty with concern. "Nick, that's not true. It has nothing to do with that. I liked you before you ever touched me, I wanted to be with you, I was attracted to you and I liked you, you were so interesting to me."

"Interesting. Because of sex."

"Because you're young and beautiful."

Oh, there was no way... Nick really, really tried to keep from crying. Men didn't cry. No crying. He took a shaky, deep breath and swallowed.

"I know that you do it on purpose, you draw attention onto sex and away from other things like how you really feel, what really affects you. I understand. I just wish that you wouldn't. Not with us. Not when it hurts you," Drew said.

It didn't hurt, he wasn't hurt, just because he was on the verge of leaking tears didn't mean he was hurt, it wasn't like that.

"Before Drew, you were the most important person in my whole world," Brian said softly. "You still are."

"Don't you have work to do or something?"

"You feel better?"

"No. Get away."

Brian kissed his cheek. "You want to go home early?"

"No."

"We could make love."

"I don't want to."

"Come home with us anyway," Brian said.

"No."

"Nick," Drew said, and kissed him a bit, sexy tongue flicking at the corner of his mouth, "please come home with me."

"What are you doing here anyway? You got mad and left."

"Brian convinced me to stay."

Kissing while his nose was stuffed up made breathing kind of difficult, but Drew kissed really well, so he wasn't going to complain. "How?"

"He asked me to."

"That's it?"

"Yes."

"You're so easy."

"I know."

"Let's go home."

Drew smiled. "All right." Then Drew kissed Brian.

"And no more being mean to me," Nick ordered as he stood.

"We're sorry," Brian said with a small smile, sympathetic. "Let us take you home and be good to you."

Justin rolled over and looked out the window. He was bored and he couldn't sleep.

"Stop fidgeting," JC muttered into the pillow.

"Thought you were asleep."

"I can't sleep when you're..." JC stopped talking. "Moving."

"What?"

"You were going to say something."

"I did say something."

"Not that. Before that. Instead of that. You can't sleep when I'm what? Breathing loudly? Tossing and turning? Lying here?"

JC rested on one side, hesitated. "I can't sleep when you're the whole way over there."

Justin looked. There was room between them. A lot more room than usual, since they always slept so wrapped together that they breathed as one. "Oh." He met JC's eyes. "You want me over there?"

"If you can't sleep, you could just get up."

"No."

"Then...yeah, okay."

Justin scooted over some, closer, and JC's hand rested on his bicep, and he curled his fingers in JC's shirt before he even thought about what he was doing. He inched closer, and their eyes met, and then they were forehead to forehead, and he closed his eyes. He could feel JC's heart beating faster, faster, faster, then calming, evening. That was sort of weird. Sort of cool.

He breathed a little and wriggled a bit closer. Let his hand slide down JC's back. Bumped his thigh up against JC's. Shifted and oh, oh, oh god, oh yes, oh hell yes, yes...that was good...JC was hard. Getting hard. Getting harder. True to form, Justin's own cock got interested, perked up some. Whenever JC was ready, Justin always came out to play.

"I love you," JC said.

He knew that JC knew that he wasn't asleep. And he knew that JC wouldn't call him on it.

Everything had been normal. Normal and going really well. They went home, they went upstairs, they went to bed. Nick had gotten stripped down to his pants before he got distracted by Drew's biceps, and then Brian started licking his nipples, and Brian's fingers ghosted over the ticklish spot on his side, and he got squirmy, and then Brian tried to hold him still, but there was no way he was going for that, and then...then...

Then they got mean again.

And now he was stretched flat on his back on the bed, and Drew was kneeling above him and behind the pillow, and Drew's hands were pinning him down to the mattress. Brian was weighing down his lower half and licking all teasing and sexy across his torso, little sucks here, little nibbles there. And he was still wearing his pants, and Drew was awfully strong, and Brian's tongue on his nipple was maddening. Teeth, he loved teeth, teeth were so good...

And damn it, Drew was naked, naked right there, right there! But Drew wouldn't let him do anything about it, wouldn't let him get close enough to touch, close enough to taste. He tried to arch his back and tilt his head, staring at that full hard cock, those heavy round balls, dark curly hair, strong muscular thighs...

"Hold still," Drew admonished.

"You taste so good," Brian murmured against his skin, and licked slowly, slowly, along his lowest rib.

"You want to taste me, lick my cock," Nick said. "That'll taste good, so good, just try it, you'll love it."

"Maybe later," Brian said mildly, more invested in licking his navel.

"It'll be good, you'll love it, it'll taste so good, Brian, lick me."

"He is licking you," Drew pointed out above him.

"You want to lick me, too?" Nick asked. "Damn it, Drew, let go."

"Not yet," Drew said.

"You're holding me here against my will?"

"Do you really want me to let you go?" Drew asked.

"I want you to let me suck you. I want Brian to suck me. Brian, please, you know you'll love it."

"He's busy," Drew said.

"He's too slow."

"Brian likes it slow."

"I don't. I want to come. Make me come."

"That's up to Brian."

"Take off my jeans, please, come on. I'm so hard, Brian, see how hard I am?"

"You don't look too hard," Drew said.

"I am! I'm so hard, Drew, I'm ready to come, let me come, make me feel good, let me come for you."

"You know that's not going to work."

Nick scowled. "I've lost my touch."

"I just like making you do it more, and if I give in you'll stop."

"You're mean."

"You're one of the sexiest people I've ever seen," Drew said, like it was a fact, an awing fact.

"Good."

"You have no idea how good you look right now."

"If we had a mirror on the ceiling-"

"No."

"That would be such a turn-on. Brian, Brian, Brian - - please."

Brian's fingers drifted down over his fly, then traced the inseam. "Want you," Brian whispered, sucking the skin above his navel. "Love you."

"Suck me. Fuck me."

"Say please," Drew said.

"Even if I do he still won't do it."

"That's no excuse for bad manners."

"It's bad manners to tease me!"

"I want to make love to you," Drew said, and slid his hands over Nick's arms, down Nick's torso, and crawled down him a bit, kissing Brian, and Nick took the opportunity to break free and grab Drew and suck Drew's balls into his mouth, and Drew gasped, and Brian moaned, and Drew moaned, and Nick felt a hand in between his thighs, Brian's hand, and then he was moaning, too.

And whether Drew had been talking to him or Brian or, as Nick suspected, both of them, Nick really didn't care. As long as he had Drew in his mouth and Brian's attention on his cock, nothing else mattered.

His jeans were ripped open, his cock pulled free, and then there was a mouth on him there, Brian's mouth, and then...then...oh...holy shit...

Nick emptied his mouth, rising up on one elbow, looking down the bed. Brian was licking his cock. Drew was licking his cock. They were both licking his cock, together, at the same time, both of them.

Okay, time to come now. Right now. Now was good. Brian licked around the base of his cock, and Drew sucked at the head, and then they battled each other for his pre-cum, and then they were kissing and licking at each other over and around him. He just watched, panting, as Drew's lips parted and Drew's tongue slid up his cock and over the head and right into Brian's mouth; and it was so lewd, so sexy, to see them kissing each other and sucking his cock and teasing him and teasing each other. It was incredible, it felt good, and it was such a turn-on to have them both there, to have all of that attention and all of that living pornography right there, and he came, came in Brian's mouth.

Drew turned around and climbed back up and kissed him, kissed him and let him taste himself, kissed him and pressed a finger against his asshole, just one finger, just pushing, not entering, just letting him feel it, letting him want it. Like a promise.

"Fuck me," he said, panting, horny, wanting Drew.

"Not yet," Drew said. "After."

"After what?"

"Brian said that after he fists you, I can make love to you."

It made Nick's body hot, to think of them arranging the use of his body. "Did he?"

"So I could feel you. After."

"So you can take me. Without lubing, without fingering, just fuck me," Nick said, breathing hard, wanting it, wanting that, wanting Drew just to come in and fuck him.

"Yes," Drew said, and kissed him, and wouldn't stop.

"Why are you laughing?" AJ asked, unlocking the door, flipping on the lights.

"Joey was asking questions today."

"About what?" AJ asked, tossing his keys on the door, dropping his sunglasses. "How to sing?"

"Sex. Gay sex."

"You are the expert," AJ said with a grin, tugging Lance close.

Lance's hand slid down AJ's back. He loved AJ's slinky body, sexual and tight and muscular and tattooed. AJ was direct, sexy; AJ's sexuality, all of AJ, was very seductive, but with a misleading hint of danger. AJ was very...potent.

"What did he ask?" AJ asked.

"He thought it was gross. We tried to explain why it isn't. And we talked about our first times. And about."

"What?"

"Rimming."

AJ smiled. "That's a nice blush. You talked to Joey about rimming?"

"I let Justin cover that one."

"You should have told him all about how you like to lick my ass."

"Joey's my best friend. There are limits to how much information I'd like to share with him."

"You don't want to tell him how you-"

"No. Thank you."

"Look at you," AJ said. "Cute and buff and blond. Who would have guessed that you'd fall for my skinny ass? And then lick my skinny ass?"

"It's not skinny."

AJ made a noise of disbelief. "It's still early," he said, checking his watch over Lance's shoulder. "You want to get something to eat?"

"We could go out for a while."

"We could get it on."

"Get what on?"

AJ laughed. "Come on, Blondie, I'll show you how it's done," he said, leading Lance to the bedroom by the hand.

"I thought you said I was the expert."

"You can prove it to me."

Nick was glad that Brian and Drew had sucked him off. But that one orgasm hadn't done much to take the edge off; Brian had three fingers in him now, and he was all ready to go again.

He'd been on top of Drew, making out all naked and hot, when Brian had started. When the third finger came into play, he couldn't take it anymore, and he'd stopped kissing Drew, hoping that getting away from that sexy so good talented mouth would help. It hadn't. And now he was up on all fours, Brian's fingers fucking him, Drew lying beneath him looking all sexy and masculine and waiting for him, like Drew was the one about to be fucked, relaxed, arms up and bent on either side of Drew's head, hazel eyes just looking up at him.

"You okay?" Brian asked.

"No," Nick said. "God I want to come."

"You can."

"It'll ruin it."

"No it won't."

Nick gasped, then groaned, feeling Drew's fingers stroke up his cock, sending flares of pleasure through his body, his cock jerking, his balls drawing up tight with excitement. Drew was going to make him come. Brian's fingers, those fingers that knew his entire body better than he did, had him open and ready. Three fingers he was used to, this was second nature, but more? He wasn't so sure about more. More sounded like a lot. Three was just right.

Drew was just looking up at him, like something out of a pin-up, just casually jacking his cock, and he knew he'd never make it, knew he'd come, knew he'd yes, here it came, he could feel it, building, building, then slamming right through him, the pleasure tearing him open and spilling out cum.

And when his brain came back on-line, and he could breathe again, and there was hot white jism on him and on Drew, he realized that there were four. Four. Four fingers in his ass. Sneaky Brian.

It felt full, it felt crowded, and his body tried to accept, tried to adjust, tried to relax around Brian's fingers. Nick wasn't sure about this new intruder, this fourth finger. And Brian had good hands, but a little finger was thinner than a thumb, and the thumb would be coming last. There was no way, no room, no chance.

"Is this good?" Brian asked.

Good, good, yes, good, very good. Because there was this constant pulse from his prostate, constant flashes of pleasure, hot and sparking. And four was a lot, but this full sensation, it was good, he wanted it, he loved it. He liked being penetrated, he always had, tongue or fingers or cock, Brian or Drew, it made him feel good and high and safe and dirty and good, yes, yes, good...

He was panting and sweating and trembling, this all-over tremble, like he couldn't stop shivering, like he had no muscle control. Drew gave a little stretch, looking relaxed and comfortable, like nothing was going on, and it turned Nick higher, hotter, more, god, yes, and Brian's fingers were moving deeper, he could feel more, fuller, more, no, god, no, please-

-please-

-yes, yes, yes, oh...god... Nick couldn't catch his breath, couldn't stop shaking; his heart was beating faster faster faster and his ass was trying to close, muscles trying eagerly to contract, and his cock was this throbbing need, and this wasn't happening couldn't be happening too good too much too good too much.

Drew reached for the lube.

Oh god yes. Heat flushed him; his cock swelled; his ass got greedy on Brian's hand.

He didn't look, couldn't look, it would be the last straw, there was no way. But he knew. Knew that Drew's hand was on Drew's cock, slick with the lube, those fingers on that gorgeous dick. Nick's fingers tightened on the bedsheets, wanting to touch, remembering the feel of that hot pulsing cock against his palm.

Changes. Oh. Brian was leaving him. Slowly, sort of easing out of him. The right hand; wouldn't want to lose a wedding ring up there. Nick felt incredibly empty, a sense of loss; it was a physical loss, yes, a very physical loss, but not purely physical. He contracted his ass muscles tightly, wanting Brian to return, wanting more.

He felt Brian's hand on his thigh, guiding him. He moved with Brian's touch, then understood what Brian wanted.

Drew stopped touching himself, lube-wet hand rising, the wrist resting on Nick's shoulder.

Nick reached down between their bodies, gripping the base of Drew's cock. Drew didn't so much as blink, but he could feel the eager reaction of Drew's cock. He lowered himself maybe a bit more quickly than he should have, wanting this, wanting it, and his ass clenched and unclenched quickly, repeatedly, muscles spasming around Drew's cock. It felt good, it was just right, it was perfect, and he started to move, wanting more, never getting enough, Drew's cock strong and full deep inside him, filling him up, taking him higher...higher...

He heard himself, suddenly. He hadn't even realized that that was he making that noise, that panting breathy extra-needy porn soundtrack noise, breathing through his mouth, sounding like, yeah, like someone getting the ultimate fuck. He rode harder, rocking himself on Drew's cock - - and then oh holy shit Brian's hand came around from behind him, closed around his cock, started to jack him out of nowhere, and Brian did it just right, stroked and pulled and rubbed and knew just the right way, just the right way.

And he was coming, again, again, and Drew was moving beneath him, Drew's strong muscular body working and flexing, that strength and power just driving up at him, making his world spin, slamming up against his prostate like their bodies had invisible connections, and every time Drew moved it made Nick's entire body react.

And then Drew was coming, all stretched and arched and flexed, moaning, quite possibly the hottest sound Nick had ever heard, a full-throated "Damn that's good" kind of moan, satisfied and turned on and oh-yeah.

Brian hugged him from behind, stroking Nick's limbs, holding him. Brian got him off Drew's cock, guided him down to rest beside Drew, left the bed. He dozed a little, felt Brian cleaning him off, felt Drew snuggling up to him. Then Brian was spooning up behind him, arm securely draped over his waist, cock hard and right against his ass. He shifted back against Brian, getting that cock up nice and close, simultaneously pulling Drew closer. Then he slept, warm and safe.

Get on your knees / Tryin' to scream / Or touch me please -"Get Down"

It was sort of weird, and sort of normal. Maybe the normality was the weirdness. Like they were old married people or something. Well, they were married people. And they were comfortable with each other, by now. So, yeah, it was normal.

But weird, too.

They just got up, did their stuff. They both needed to be in the bathroom and the bedroom, so they worked around each other, like sharing the space but it wasn't a big deal. Which, yeah, they'd been doing for two years now, so...

But still. It was weird. Because normally JC kissed his cheek or gave his ass a pat or talked to him, at least. And now JC was just off doing JC stuff, like Justin was just another person in the room. He wasn't used to that. He was used to being the person in the room.

JC hadn't kissed him since...since...since that time in the bathroom, when he'd told JC to leave. And they hadn't made love since the night before that.

Justin wasn't used to that, either. JC always gave him sex. Always. Any time he wanted it. Like that time when JC had been writing lyrics and he'd been bored and he'd just walked over and pulled JC's earlobe and said, "Make love to me." And JC had taken him, right there, on the living room carpet. It had been one of the best fucks of his life. Even if he'd gotten rug burn on his shoulders - - not his butt, because JC'd propped him up on one of the throw pillows.

He wondered if the lube were still under the sofa. They'd ended up with lube stashed everywhere for a while - - the bedroom, the bathroom medicine cabinet, under the sofa, behind the toaster. They hadn't actually literally fucked in the kitchen, but JC's fingers had gotten in his ass, and JC liked lube, didn't want to hurt him.

So, yeah, Justin was used to getting sex pretty regularly. Because whenever JC was in the mood, he responded. And sometimes he got in the mood himself, and JC never said no to him.

Not even when he wanted to fuck JC on the sofa. They'd been making out, just making out like they had all of the time in the world to get to know each other, and then it got hotter, and hotter, and he wanted JC now, and JC said they should go to the bedroom, but he was pretty damned happy right where he was, and he said so, and JC said they'd be more comfortable in the bed, and he said he'd be more comfortable in JC's ass, and JC laughed and said okay and let him.

The blowjob in the bathroom. Now that had been good. A little hard on his knees, with that cold unforgiving white tile floor. Just kneeling there, JC standing with a hand in his curls and the other on the sink, maybe, for support. JC all beautiful and naked, and he on his knees. Like love. Or worship. Which wasn't so far from the truth. Not far at all.

"Justin?"

He jerked back to attention, wide-eyed, startled, dropping his - - shit.

"Sorry," JC said, and knelt, and picked up the earring and the back for him, and looked up, about to rise, and saw. Saw how hard he was. Saw that he was pretty well already risen. There was this second when hunger flared in JC's eyes, hunger and heat and yeah, need, JC needed him. Which worked out, because he needed JC, too.

JC stood. Handed the earring and back to him. "Didn't mean to scare you."

"Just thinking."

JC nodded.

He put on his earring, tugged at the knot in his bandanna, wondered if JC was going to say something.

"I love you, Justin."

Oh. Well, that was something.

"Please tell me that you love me."

"Yeah." What? What kind of answer was that?

JC just nodded again. Didn't look hurt or anything. "I'm going to grab some breakfast. You want anything?"

He shook his head. JC left the bedroom.

matthew@matthewtime.com
"Destiny" Part Eight
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