Copyright November 21-January 11, 2001 by Matthew Haldeman-Time

Rating: NC-17 for graphic male-male sex

Disclaimer: The young men who comprise 98 Degrees, the Backstreet Boys, and *NSYNC are their own people. The author has not met anyone here described, nor does the author mean to suggest that these people act this way in real life.  This writing is a work of fiction.  I make no money from this venture.

Dedication: This slashfic is for Ewan McGregor, the Savage Garden slashers, and anyone who's actually following this series.

Notice: "Living" series: "I Need You Tonight," "Boy Lead the Way to Ecstasy," "Not Easy," "No One," and "Rest in Peace."

        "You know I missed it," Nick said.

        "Missed what?" Brian asked, running his fingers over the tattoo around Drew's upper arm.

        "You said that I could do whatever I wanted to you last night.  I missed it."

        "Oh."

        "Can I do it tonight instead?"

        "What were you going to do?"

        "I can't tell you."

        "Then you can't do it."

        "Let's vote on it."

        "Vote on it?"

        "Vote on it.  You vote no, I vote yes, Drew votes yes, we win."

        "Drew didn't vote yes."

        "He would have."

        "He's sleeping."

        "If he were awake, he would have voted yes."

        "You don't know that."

        "Drew."

        "Nick."

        "Drew."

        Drew hummed and butted his head up under Nick's chin.  "Wt."

        "Wake up."

        "Nnn.  What?"  He opened his eyes and splayed his fingers against Nick's chest.

        "Should I get to do whatever I want to do to Brian tonight?"

        "Yeah."

        "Ha.  Ha ha ha ha ha."

        Brian made a face at Nick.

        "What...are you going to do?" Drew asked.

        "I don't know," Nick said, skimming his hand down Drew's back.  "What do you think I should do?"

        "Whatever you want.  It's up to you."

        "What would you do?"

        "What...what would I do?" Drew repeated.

        "Yeah.  If you could do anything you wanted to Brian.  What would you do?"

        "I don't know."

        "Think of something."  Nick glared at Brian over Drew's head to keep him quiet.  Brian opened his mouth; Nick glared harder.  Brian frowned back at Nick but subsided.

        "I don't know," Drew said.

        "What would you like to do to Brian?"

        "Nothing exciting," Drew said.  "I'd like to make love to him."

        That was nothing exciting?  "How?"

        "How?" Drew echoed.

        "Tell me how you like him.  Tell me how you want him."

        "I..."  Drew looked at his fingers.  "I like to touch him.  I like it when he..."

        "Tell me," Nick said softly, petting Drew's hair.

        "I like it when he's on my fingers."

        Brian stopped breathing.

        "He's...tight.  It feels good.  You've, you've been inside him.  You know what it feels like."  Drew swallowed.  "I'm sorry, I can't."

        "It's okay," Nick said.  "You don't have to."  He kissed the top of Drew's head.  "Why can't you?"

        "It's too hard."

        "I'm hard."

        "You're always hard."

        "Only around you."

        "And Brian.  And Jeff.  And Nick."

        "I do not get hard for Nick."

        Drew sighed and rested against him.  "Why do you pretend you don't want him?"

        "I don't want him.  He's funny-looking."

        "He is not."

        "Brian said he's gorgeous."

        "Brian's right."

        "Brian's funny-looking, too."

        Drew pinched Nick.  "Take that back."

        "He can't sing, either."

        "Brian?"

        "Nick.  You think Brian can't sing?  Brian, did you hear that?  Drew's saying mean things about you."

        "Brian's very talented, and he knows that I think he has a great voice.  And you be nice to Nick.  He could beat you up."

        "You'd save me."

        "Don't count on it."

        "Hey."

        "You called him funny-looking and said that he can't sing."

        "You're supposed to take my side."

        "Then be nice to my gorgeous, talented brother."

        "I'm gorgeous and talented."

        "Yes, you are."  Drew kissed him.

        "Drew, will you distract Nick so I can move on Jeff?"

        "No."

        "Just for a few minutes.  Five minutes."

        "No."

        "Why not?"

        "Nick doesn't like it when you flirt with Jeff."

        "He's threatened.  He knows I could steal Jeff from him."

        "Nick, you know you don't have a chance."

        "If I can't have Jeff, can I have you?"

        "Yes."

        "Right now?"

        "Okay."

        "Drew.  Why can't you say those things in front of Brian?"

        Drew lowered his gaze.  "Sorry."

        "You know he's as perverted as I am."  Nick stroked Drew's back.  "Tell me just one little thing you want to do to me."

        "I can't."

        "One thing?"

        "Could I show you instead?"

        Nick's cock twitched.  "Hell yes.  Now."

        "Tonight?"

        "Yes.  Tonight.  We can come home early."

        "Oh.  I'm going over to Nick and Jeff's."

        "After work?"

        "Yes."

        "Damn it.  I want sex.  Hey, can we come?"

        "I can't invite you to their place.  Ask them.  They'll say yes."

        "It's not private 98 Degrees time?"

        "No.  Just hanging out for a little while to pretend to talk business."

        Nick kissed Drew.  "Then we can come home and you can do dirty things to me."

        "You won't mind?"

        "Mind?"

        "If I...do something."

        "You can do whatever you want.  I can't wait.  Tell me something."

        "What?"  Drew stroked down Nick's chest.  "I like the way you feel," he said.

        "What do I feel like?"

        "Soft but not soft.  Smooth and..."  Drew's hand traveled over Nick's skin.  "I like the way you feel," he said again, softly.

        "Do you know what Brian said to me once?"

        "What?" Drew asked.

        "He said, 'Sometimes when I touch you, you feel like sin against my fingers.'"

        "You feel like sin," Drew repeated.

        "I asked him what the fuck he meant."

        Drew laughed.

        "He started talking about temptation and seduction."

        "You are seductive," Drew said.

        "Seduced you right out of your pants."

        "I was sort of easy, wasn't I?"

        "Yes and no.  I think I was in the right place at the right time."

        "No," Drew said.  "You were just the right person."

        "You weren't sitting around like a little Drew time bomb just waiting for someone to ask you for sex?  All ready for your big sexual awakening?"

        "No.  I was happy asleep.  I never really thought about what I was missing."

        "Then this really is my fault?"

        "Yes."

        "I'm the king of the world!" Nick shouted, and rolled Drew onto his back.  "We're going to have sex now."

        "Okay."

        "Shit, wait."  Nick rolled right until Drew was on top.  "You don't go on the bottom yet."

        "So close," Drew said, and sighed.

        Nick laughed.  "Soon."

        "Tonight?"

        "Ask Brian."

        Drew crawled off of Nick and onto Brian, who ran familiar hands over his body.  "Good morning."

        "Good morning," Brian said, and kissed him.

        "Make love to me?" Drew asked between kisses.

        "I can't," Brian said.

        Drew stopped kissing him.  "Ever?"

        "Not yet."

        "Someday."

        "Someday."

        "Why don't you want to make love to me?" Drew asked seriously.

        "It's the last part of your innocence.  You've lost too much already.  Most of what you lost is because of us.  I don't want to be responsible for any more."

        "Brian, what...  It's not your fault.  You're not responsible for anything that's happened."  Drew was resting on top of him, looking down into his face.  "You're talking about the shooting.  The fear and the hatred and everything else.  And me getting shot."

        Brian's gaze still meeting Drew's, Brian's left hand slipped into Nick's right.  "Yes."

        "It's not your fault."

        "It has to do with me.  With us."

        "I want you to make love to me because we're together.  Yes it's about sex, of course it's about sex.  It's also about love and our relationship and being together.  I won't be losing anything.  I'll be gaining."  Drew hesitated, finding the words he wanted.  "I know that you're afraid of losing me.  You don't want me to be hurt.  I can respect that fear.  I understand it.  I could have died.  I almost lost three of my closest, closest family and friends.  But you want to keep me back the way I used to be.  I've changed.  I'm still changing.  It's because of what's happened.  It's because of you.  You've shown me new things and new ways, you've opened up the world to me.  I'm different now, and I want to try new things.  I want to be closer to you.  Let me be closer to you."

        Brian breathed.

        Nick bit his lip to keep quiet.

        Drew waited.

        "Soon," Brian said.

        "Soon?" Drew asked with a smile.

        "Very soon," Brian said.  "Not tonight."

        "Okay," Drew said.  "Thank you."  He kissed Brian, and Brian kissed him back.  They didn't stop.

        Nick watched their hips start to grind together.  He heard Drew moan and watched Brian's thighs spread.  "Guys?  Drew?  You're supposed to be doing that to me."

        Brian groaned as Drew's hand made itself at home between his legs.

        "Hey!" Nick protested.  "You come here!"

        Drew broke away from Brian and turned right to Nick, barely pausing for breath, kissing his mouth and crawling over onto him.  Brian followed.  "Hi," Drew said to Nick.

        "Hi," Nick said, then gasped as Brian's slick finger pressed against him.

        "We need to hurry or we'll be late for work again," Drew said.

        "Okay," Nick gasped, body surging towards Brian's touch.

        "Maybe we should just skip it and wait until later."

        "No," Nick said quickly.

        "I don't want to rush.  I want to make it good for you.  We'd better wait."

        "It's always good.  Brian."

        "He's good at that, isn't he?" Drew asked.

        "So fucking good," Nick said.

        "He did that to me once," Drew said, circling idle patterns down Nick's chest.

        Nick groaned, eyes closing briefly.

        "You did it to me once," Drew said.

        "Long time ago," Nick panted.

        "Too long."

        "God yes."

        Drew caught Nick's hand before it reached Nick's cock.  "Do you want to touch me again?"

        "God yes."  Nick gasped.  "Brian."

        Drew dropped to one side and Brian rose over Nick.  Brian's fingers left and Nick's leg rose automatically over Brian's shoulder, his hips raised.  Brian pushed inside him slowly, carefully, then thrust home.  Nick moaned with pleasure, one hand reaching for Drew.

        "Have I?"

        "Yes.  You're skinnier."  JC's body was a stunning combination of muscle and bone; he was alternately thin and muscular, a spare but masculine form.  Flexible and sexy as hell.

        "Mmm."

        "Thanks."

        "For what?"

        "Making love to me last night."

        "You're thanking me for that?"

        "Don't get offended or anything," Justin said.

        "You're thanking me for making love to you?" JC tried to roll over and look at him.

        Justin stayed put, weighing down JC, keeping him in place.  "Why are you mad?"

        "You're thanking me for making love to you!"

        "So?  It's just, you know, polite."

        JC surged up and pushed Justin away, twisting around and getting on top of him.  "Are you thanking me for having sex with you, period, or for making love and not fucking?"

        "I don't know.  Get off of me."

        "Why are you thanking me?"

        "Why are you pissed?"

        "I love you, I love to make love to you, there is nothing more beautiful to me in this world than to make love to you.  You don't thank me for that.  It's a privilege, Justin."

        "What's a privilege?"

        "To be able to do that."

        "It's a privilege to do me?"

        "Yes.  It's a privilege to have sex with you.  It's a privilege to make love with you.  It's a privilege to make love to you."

        "You're pretty big on this making love to or making love with thing."

        "Yes."

        "You like to make love to me."

        "Yes."

        "Why?"

        "It puts me in a position of power.  When all I'm doing is exploring your beauty."

        "Exploiting my body."

        "Yes."

        "You do that."

        "I know."

        "All of the time."

        "I know."

        "You make me, you make my body, do things."

        "I know."

        "Why do you have more control over me than I have over myself?"

        "I don't know."

        "You're always in control."

        "You control me.  I've given myself to you, Justin.  You own me."

        "We are not normal people."

        "You're the most incredible person in the world."

        "I'm not."

        "You are."

        "I'm not.  You're just psychotic."

        JC settled beside Justin, who turned to him.  They touched each other, thinking.

        "Maybe we shouldn't screw each other anymore until we figure out what we're doing."

        JC was silent.

        "JC?  JC?  J?"

        "What."

        "Say something?"

        "You know I'm not happy with a single word in that sentence."

        "But you get my point."

        "I have never screwed you."

        "JC."

        "It's rude and vulgar and has nothing to do with how I make love to you."

        "That's not the point."

        "I will not fuck you and I have never screwed you."

        "JC!  Can we talk about what I actually said and not get all wrapped up in how I said it?"

        "You don't think that we should make love anymore.  I want to make love to you."

        "When you won't make love to me, it's okay, but if I want to wait, it's wrong."

        "Yes."

        "Bastard."

        "I miss you."

        "You miss my body."

        "Yes."

        "I swear sometimes you don't give a shit about me.  You just want my body."

        JC went very still.

        "Shit."

        He'd stopped breathing.

        "Shit.  JC.  Don't freak out on me.  You know I didn't mean it."

        "I can't believe you still don't think that I love you," JC said, his voice low and thick with pain.

        "I didn't mean it.  Why do you take everything I say like it's so important?  One stupid comment and you're psycho again."

        "Why don't you believe in my love for you?"

        "JC!  You  love me.  I get it.  We wouldn't be here otherwise."

        "You always think it's about sex.  They're so wrapped up in your mind that you can't-"

        "They're wrapped up in my mind?  What about in your mind?  You're the one-"

        "This is not my fault."

        "The fuck it isn't!"

        JC pulled away from him and left the bed.

        "Come back here."

        "We have to go to work."

        "Where are you going?"

        "I need to take a shower."

        "JC."

        "Justin."  JC turned and faced the bed.  His voice was quiet, his eyes blue.  "Come with me."

        "How much do you weigh?" Jeff's voice asked.

        Nick blinked and tried to remember what day it was.  "What?"

        "Good morning and get off of me so I can breathe."

        "Sorry."  Nick rolled to his side.

        Jeff stretched and rested his hand on Nick's chest.  "What are we doing today?"

        "Working."

        "And Drew's coming over."

        "Right."  Nick yawned.

        "You look better shaven."

        "So do you."

        "Let's not discuss my goatee years."

        "We'd better not."

        "I still say I looked good."

        "I still say you always look good, but you look better without the goatee."

        "I was cute."

        "Get over yourself."

        "I could grow it back."

        "Learn from your mistakes."

        Jeff smacked Nick's arm and left the bed.  "I'm showering first.  Go make me breakfast."

        JC's fingers left him.

        Justin turned, raising his face beneath the spray, resting his shoulders against the wall.  JC kissed his neck, warm and wet against his body, hand rubbing down his back.

        "I love you," JC whispered.

        "I know."  He kept his eyes closed.

        "Let me make love to you."

        "JC."

        "Just one more time."

        "JC."

        "Let me try to make it good."

        That request was so ridiculous that Justin wanted to laugh.  Let JC try to make it good?  Try to make it good?  But JC was so serious, so sincere, that he couldn't laugh.  There was an intensity to JC, that intense love, that intense desire, that always had been there.  If Justin hadn't been living with it, living it, for years now, he wouldn't be able to comprehend it.

        "Please, baby," JC whispered, and kissed the other side of his neck.  He turned his head aside to grant JC access to his skin, in silent acquiescence.

        They'd made love in the shower in the past.  They made love everywhere they could.  Not to be adventurous, not because doing it in the shower or anywhere else was a particular turn-on.  They just made love all of the time, wherever they were.  As long as no one could see them, JC was willing to take Justin just about any place they happened to be.  He didn't even care about the noise, usually.  Of course, he wasn't the one making the noise.

        Justin was a screamer.  He groaned, he moaned, he made noise.  He talked.  He begged.  He begged a lot.  He begged and pleaded and asked for more.  His physical responses alone probably got across the message, but Justin couldn't keep quiet.  JC, the psycho, encouraged him.  JC liked it when he begged.

        Not because it was some ego trip, though.  It wasn't that.  JC just liked to know that he was feeling good.  JC liked to hear his voice, liked to hear his pleasure.

        Sex in the shower was...interesting.  If it had been regular sex and not sex with JC, Justin might not even like it.  The tile was freezing, and they had to get just the right angle or they either drowned under the spray or were out of the water.  It just wasn't comfortable.

        But since Justin was doing it with JC, he had no complaints.  He didn't know how JC felt about it; JC was getting the raw end of the deal, really, since Justin was the one with the perfect position under the water.  Of course, considering how close JC got to him, like they were one person or something, it might not be too bad.

        The cold tile against his shoulders was a deliberate contrast to the fire JC burned inside him.

        God, no.  JC was nuts.  They'd fall.

        Oh, god.  If they fell and broke something, he would kill JC.  He was not going to delay the tour because he was in a full body cast.

        He gasped harshly, opening his eyes and looking down at JC.  JC's eyes stole his soul.  He had to look away, tilting back his head under the spray.

        Oh god, oh god, too good, too good.  He lowered his head again, gasping JC's name.  He clutched at JC's shoulders, pushing his own shoulders back against the tile, raising himself slightly away from JC before pushing down again, moaning.  JC thrust up again, right against his prostate.  "Oh god, JC."  He didn't know what JC was thinking, trying to bear his weight while fucking him in the shower, of all places.  He'd probably end up cracking his skull open.  But it felt so good.  It felt incredible.  He couldn't be without this.

        "Working," Lance said.  "What are you doing here?"

        "Working."

        Silence.

        Chris gave in.  "What are we going to do?"

        "I don't know," Lance said seriously.  "We can't go on tour like this."

        "We can't tour without them."

        "It's tempting."

        "We could bring AJ and Howie instead."

        "That's very tempting."

        "You think they'll get it together?"

        "In time for the tour?  No."

        "We can't cancel."

        "No," Lance agreed.  "If we could get one of them straightened out, we could deal with the other one.  But they're both nuts, and they're making each other worse."

        "What is their problem?"

        "Justin's too dependent on JC.'"

        "That's it?" Chris asked.

        "JC's too dependent on Justin, too, but he doesn't see that as a problem."

        "Is it a problem?"

        "I can't tell."

        "And that's what's behind this whole thing?"

        "JC's obsessive, and it's unhealthy, but we knew that, so it doesn't matter.  Justin's all over the place, and that's a problem in itself, plus it's making JC crazy."

        "Great."

        "We need to get Justin to calm down."

        "How do we do that?"

        "What?" JC asked, absorbed in his work.

        "What are you doing?"

        "Loving you."  JC ducked his head and kissed Justin's nipple.

        Justin's eyes closed and his lips parted.

        "Hey."

        "Can we come home with you?"

        "Nick doesn't want me picking up strays," Jeff said.

        "I'm housebroken."

        "Sure," Jeff said.  "Mi casa es tu casa."

        "Nick won't mind?" Brian asked.

        "Who cares?" Nick asked.

        "He'll be okay," Jeff told Brian.  "Stop by when you're finished here."

        "Thanks," Brian said.

        "His house is my house," Nick told Brian.  "His bed is my bed."

        "Excuse us," Brian said to Jeff, and pulled Nick down the hallway.  Around the corner, he pushed Nick against the wall and grabbed Nick by the back of the neck, pulling Nick's face down to his.  "You are going to behave yourself tonight.  You are going to keep your hands to yourself, and your eyes to yourself.  No eyeballing the host.  You behave yourself around Jeff, be nice to Nick, and don't harass Drew."

        "I don't harass Drew."

        "Good."

        "I have to behave around Jeff?"

        "Yes."

        "I can't."

        "Yes, you can."

        "He started it."

        "No, he didn't."

        "He showed me his naked body.  You don't show somebody your naked body and expect him not to want you."

        "Nick showed you his naked body and you don't want him."

        Nick turned bright red and walked down the hallway.

        Brian stared after him.

        "How are they?"

        "Good.  They've had sex."

        "Thank god," Chris said.

        "They told you?" Lance asked Joey.

        "Justin's calmer, JC's hovering, and there are these marks on Justin's neck."

        "JC knows he can't give Justin hickeys," Lance said.

        "Love bites," Chris said.

        "What?"

        "Hickeys sounds gross."

        "Love bites sounds ridiculous," Lance said.  "They've been told a million times, no visible marks."

        "Everybody knows they're doing each other," Joey said.

        "JC's doing Justin," Chris corrected.

        "No, they do each other," Joey said.  "They said so."

        "How many times do you think Justin really tops?" Chris asked.

        "That's none of our business," Lance said.

        "I don't get why they can't have hickeys or love bites.  Everybody knows they're having sex.  They're married."

        "It's a public relations thing," Lance said.

        "It's a sucky hypocritical thing," Joey said.

        The door opened; Justin came into the room with JC.  "Hey.  What'd we miss?" Justin asked.

        "Let me see your neck," Lance said.

        "Yes, Mom."  Justin stood over Lance, tipping back his chin.

        Chris watched JC eye Justin's jugular.

        He looked so...hungry...

        "Yeah," Jeff said.

        "They are?" Nick asked.

        "Yeah," Jeff said.

        "They are?" Nick asked, and glowered at Drew.  He could glower pretty well.  He had the right face for it.  Unfortunately, Drew had known him too long to believe it for a second.

        "I told them to ask Jeff if they could," Drew said.

        "And you said yes?" Nick asked Jeff.

        "You sort this out.  I'm going home," Justin said.

        "You're not coming over?" Jeff asked.

        "Not if they're going to be there," Justin said.  "No offense," he said to Drew, who looked shocked momentarily.  "They're great, I love them.  But the five of you in one apartment?  The sexual tension would kill me.  Or turn me gay.  And I have a date tomorrow night.  So, see you."

        "Sexual tension?" Drew asked as the door closed.  "What sexual tension?"

        Jeff stared at Drew.

        Nick coughed and turned his back.

        Jeff burst into laughter.

        Drew looked at Jeff, wide-eyed with wonder.  "What?"

        "You call this behaving yourself?" Brian asked.

        "I do not harass Drew."

        "You tease him."

        "He likes it."

        "Nick, you're very honest.  You're always yourself."  Brian's fingers sorted through Nick's hair briefly.  "I love that about you.  You don't censor yourself, and I don't want you to censor yourself."

        "But?"

        "This situation is very sensitive."

        "No it isn't."

        "Nick-"

        "We all want each other.  We all love each other.  That's it."

        Brian stared at him.

        "What?"

        "That's it?"

        "That's it."

        Brian frowned in thought.  "You really think it's that easy?"

        "Yes.  We can't have each other.  Because it's, I don't know, immoral or something.  Which is a load of crap.  But that's it."

        "You love Jeff?"

        "Sure."

        "Are you in love with him?"

        "It's not like you and Drew.  Nothing's like you and Drew.  You can't compare that.  It's like comparing JC and Justin to, um, sane, ugly people.  But yeah, sort of."

        "You think it's as simple as we want each other and we love each other?"

        "Yes.  Are you listening?  The incest thing, okay, we know they're brothers.  That's why it's happening, I think.  Drew and Nick love each other.  We love Drew, so we're stuck loving Nick.  Jeff loves Nick, so he loves Drew.  Nick loves Jeff, so Drew loves Jeff.  It all goes round and round like that.  It's about Drew and Nick.  We just got sucked into it. Plus, you know, have you looked at them?"

        "There is that," Brian admitted, scratching the back of his neck.

        "But we can't do anything about it.  Because what would people say?  Like I care.  But Jeff and Nick are doing the happily married couple thing, and you and Drew are doing the happily married with a kept boy thing, and I guess...  But it's not like this threatens that.  I'm not trying to steal Jeff from Nick or anything.  I know they're together, and I know that I can't touch that.  I don't want to.  And getting it on with Jeff is not going to make me forget you for a second."

        "You don't think that it would affect what we have?  If you had sex with someone else?"

        "You said have sex.  Not make love."

        Brian thought about that.

        "I think that Drew and Nick would make love," Nick said.

        "So do I," Brian admitted, and met Nick's gaze.

        Nick swallowed.

        Brian thought.

        "We're not really going to, are we?"

        "I don't know," Brian said.

        "Drew would never.  Never.  Never ever ever."

        "I don't know."

        "Shit."

        "What?"  Howie looked surprised.

        "Mark me."

        "Where?"

        "My neck."

        "People will see it."

        "I know."

        "You want people to see it?"

        "Yes."

        "Won't you get in trouble?"

        "I'm thirty years old.  I can do whatever I want."

        "Okay.  If you're sure."

        "Hi," Brian said.

        "We're bad guests who came empty..."  Nick's voice trailed.  "Handed."  He stared.

        Jeff closed the door.  "Can I get you something?"

        "One of those," Nick said.  "Wow."

        "You can have the smaller edition," Jeff said.  "The larger model's mine."

        Nick Timmons-Lachey leaned closer to Drew, who laughed.

        "Damn," Nick said.  "Want him."

        "Go and say hi," Jeff suggested.

        "No, no, we shouldn't interrupt," Nick said.  "Leave them there.  I like them like that."

        "Well, if you want it that way," Jeff said.  Brian made a face of disgust.  "Can I get you something to drink?"

        "Hey, you're here," Drew said.

        "Damn it," Nick muttered.  "We ruined it."

        "Ruined what?" Drew asked, coming over to them.

        "Nothing, nothing, Brian, help me, I'm no good at lying to Drew."

        "You invited him," Nick reminded Jeff, moving past them into the kitchen.

        "I'm going to behave myself, I'm going to behave myself," Nick said.  "Damn it, Drew, why didn't you tell me your brother has the finest ass?"

        Drew looked perplexed momentarily.  "It must have slipped my mind.  Sorry."

        "Not the finest ass.  Yours is better.  But damn."

        "How did you just notice?" Brian asked Nick.

        "You have seen him naked," Jeff said.

        "From the back," Brian added.

        "Mine's better?" Drew asked.

        Nick returned from the kitchen.  "What?"

        "You didn't hear that?" Jeff asked.

        "Nick was talking.  I tuned it out on purpose.  What did I miss?"

        "Nothing," Jeff said.  "Go sit down."

        Nick frowned but went across the room.  Everyone watched.  "Mine's better?" Drew asked again, softly.

        "Maybe it's the pants," Nick said.

        "No, he always looks like that," Jeff said.  "Believe me.  I look."

        "I don't think it's fair that you have the best abs and the best ass," Nick told Drew.

        "Sorry," Drew said.

        "And the best mouth."

        "I thought that Nick had the best mouth."

        "His is like the deluxe verison.  Yours is just right.  Why are you smirking?" he asked Jeff.

        "Don't listen," Jeff told Drew.

        Nick put his hands over Drew's ears.

        "I think that I'm best qualified to judge whose mouth is better," Jeff said.

        "Why?"

        "I've had them both wrapped around my dick."

        Nick whooped with laughter.  Drew freed his ears and demanded to know what Jeff had said.  Nick came over from the sofa and wanted to know what was happening.  Jeff and Brian left for the kitchen quickly.

        "What?!" Nick roared.

        Jeff ducked down the hallway.  Brian followed.

        "Jeff!" Nick shouted.

        Jeff locked the bedroom door.

        "He's going to kill you," Brian said.

        "I had to say it," Jeff said.  "I'm sorry."

        "It's true," Brian admitted.  "You have had that unique experience."

        "Unique. You have no idea."  Jeff sat on the edge of the bed.

        "May I ask you something?"

        "Sure."

        "Are you in love with Drew?"

        "Am I in love with Drew?" Jeff repeated.

        A heavy fist pounded on the door.  "Jeff!"

        Jeff blew the door a kiss.  "Yes."  He looked at Brian.  "I am."

        "Is Brian in there with him?" Nick Carter's voice asked.  "They're in there together?  Alone?  Behind a locked door?  With a bed?"  He raised his voice.  "Brian!  Take notes for me!"

        Jeff laughed.  Brian groaned and sat beside Jeff on the bed  "Is that okay?" Jeff asked.

        "What?"

        "That I'm in love with Drew."

        "I don't...  Are you asking my permission?"

        "I'm going to love him anyway.  I'm in love with him anyway.  I don't want it to be a problem for you."

        "It's not a problem."

        "I didn't think it would be."

        Brian's body grew warm.

        Jeff kissed his cheek.

        Brian closed his eyes.

        "I love you, too," Jeff whispered, and kissed him.

        "Don't tell anybody this."

        "Okay."

        "Sometimes I wish that I were a Backstreet Boy."

        "Whoa."  AJ sat up in the bed.  "What?"

        "It's not my secret dream or anything," Lance said quickly.  "It just seems easier."

        "This is about JC and Justin."

        "It's sure not about musical quality."

        "You want to stay in my bed?"

        "Sorry."

        "Okay, then."  AJ nodded.  "You're tired of having to work with..."

        "You can say it."

        "At the least, oversexed drama queens, and at most, raving lunatics."

        "They're my best friends."

        "They're also going to trash your tour."

        "They won't.  They'll get it together."

        "It's coming up."

        "I know."

        "The tour isn't their first priority.  Neither's the music.  They're going to fuck up."

        "Is this supposed to be supportive?"

        "I'm being honest.  You have to do something."

        "I have to do something?  Why is it up to me?"

        "It's a group effort.  They're your best friends.  Something's wrong with them, you help."

        "I can't help.  They're not having a simple disagreement, AJ.  They're licking each other's blood!  I won't even lick my own blood!"

        "They lick each other's blood?"

        "They're going to mess up the concerts.  They're going to drive each other insane.  I'm going to be living with them and working with them."

        "Give them their own bus."

        "You know we don't do that anymore."

        "You should."

        "Maybe people who work together shouldn't be involved."

        "Brian and Nick make it work great.  Jeff and Nick, too."

        "Maybe people I have to work with shouldn't be involved."

        AJ kissed Lance.  "It'll be okay."

        Lance looked into his eyes.  "No, it won't."

        AJ hesitated, then confessed, "Maybe not."

        Jeff opened the door.  "Hey.  What's up?"

        "Nick and Nick are talking."

        "Really.  About what?"

        "Scuba diving.  I..."  Drew stopped talking, staring over Jeff's shoulder.  "You."

        "Drew," Jeff said.

        Drew breathed.  "You kissed Brian."

        Jeff winced when his skull connected with the wall.

        "You kissed Brian."

        "Drew," Brian said, at his side.

        Jeff reminded himself that if it got serious, he could take Drew.  He hoped.

        "What was that noise?" Nick Timmons-Lachey's voice asked before he appeared in the doorway.

        "My spine," Jeff tried to say.

        "Drew!  What are you doing?" Nick demanded.

        "Drew?" Nick Carter asked.

        "Let go of him," Nick said, reaching for Drew.

        Drew let go.  "I'm going home."

        "Drew, I'm sorry," Jeff said.

        "What did you do?" Nick asked.

        "You kissed Brian," Nick Carter said.

        "What?" Nick asked.

        "Jeff kissed Brian."

        "What?"

        "Jeff kissed Brian!"

        "How can you tell?!" Jeff demanded.

        "Just looking at him?" Nick asked.

        "Yes," Nick Carter said.

        "Yes," Drew said.

        Jeff and Nick Timmons-Lachey looked at Brian.

        "I'm sorry," Brian said.

        "Why were you kissing?" Nick asked.  "And why wasn't I invited?  And why have I never seen Drew freak out like that?"

        "I'm sorry," Brian said.  "We should go."

        "It's my fault," Jeff said.

        "I'm sorry," Drew said.  "I shouldn't have done that.  Are you all right?"

        "I'm fine.  Don't apologize," Jeff said.

        "I've never seen you do that before," Nick Carter said to Drew.

        "I never needed to before," Drew said.  "I was upset."

        "You kissed?" he asked.

        "Yes," Brian said.

        "That's all?"

        "Yes."

        "No groping, nothing else?"

        "Not much," Jeff said quietly.

        "Tongue?"

        "Yeah," they said together.

        "Why?" Drew asked softly, fingers ghosting past Brian's temple.

        "He told me that he loved me," Brian said.  He looked at Jeff, who nodded.  "He said that he's in love with me."

        Nick Timmons-Lachey grabbed the front of Jeff's shirt and pulled him closer.  "You said that to him?"

        "Yes."

        "You told him that you're in love with him?"

        "Yes."

        "You say that to me!  Those words are for me!  You're supposed to be in love with me!"

        "I am.  You know I am."

        "That's what this is about," Nick Carter said.

        "You stay out of it," Nick said.

        "How can I?" Nick asked.  "He's probably in love with me, too.  Shit.  I didn't say that."

        Nick's eyes widened.  "You're in love with him?!"

        "Yes," Jeff said.  "So are you."

        "I need to sit down," Drew said.  "Oh.  Not on the bed."  He sat on the floor.

        "I am not in love with-"

        "Yes, you are," Jeff said.

        "You okay?" Brian asked, crouching beside Drew.

        "Not really," Drew said.

        "Look at him," Jeff said, pointing down to Drew.

        "What about him?" Nick asked.

        "You want to go home?" Brian asked.

        "I want to throw up," Drew said.

        "Are you in love with him?" Jeff asked.

        "What?" Nick asked.

        "I'm sorry," Brian said.

        "Yeah," Drew said.

        "Are you in love with him?" Jeff repeated.

        "With Drew?" Nick asked.

        Brian sat down tentatively, unsure of his welcome.

        Drew leaned against Brian and sighed.

        "Are you in love with Drew?" Jeff asked.

        "He's my brother," Nick said.

        Brian wrapped Drew in his arms.

        "I don't know anymore," Drew said.

        "I know he's your brother.  Are you in love with him?" Jeff asked.

        Nick stared at Drew.

        "Don't know what?" Brian asked.

        "What I'm feeling for whom."

        "Are you?" Jeff asked.

        "What are...no," Nick said.

        "You don't have to know," Brian said.

        Drew shifted to get more comfortable.

        "Are you?" Jeff asked gently, a hand on Nick's arm.

        "Why?" Nick asked.

        "Why?" Nick Carter asked.  "Why?  Have you been paying attention for the past year?  The past twenty-five, almost twenty-six years?  You love Drew, you want Drew.  We want to know if you just feel like getting it on with him or if you're actually in love.  Why?  So we can decide whether to let you fuck him or not."

        "Nick!" Brian said.

        "Make love to him," Nick amended weakly.

        "Get the fuck out of my apartment!" Nick shouted.

        "Nick," Jeff said, putting restraining hands on Nick's arms.  "Nick, just-"

        "I want him out of here!"

        "I know.  I know.  Sit down."

        "I'll wait in the living room," Nick said.

        "How can you say that you're in love with him?" Nick demanded.

        Brian rose.  "Don't say that about Nick."

        "Sit down," Jeff said to Brian.  "Nick, stay right there.  Nick, say you're sorry."

        "I'm-"

        "Nick is talented and creative and honest and fun and funny and sexy and beautiful and I'm in love with him, and I want you to apologize right now," Jeff said.

        Nick clenched his jaw.

        "Now," Jeff said.

        "I'm sorry," Nick said tightly, glaring at Jeff.

        "Sit down," Jeff said to Brian.

        "Thank you," Nick said to Jeff softly.

        Brian sat and put his arm around Drew.

        "I'm in love with everyone in this room," Jeff said.  "Are you?" he asked Nick Carter.

        "Yes," Nick said.

        "Are you?" he asked Brian.

        "Yes," Brian said.

        "Are you?"

        "I don't know," Drew said.  "Come back to me."  He rubbed his temple.

        "Are you?"

        "No," Nick said.  "I don't love anyone in this room."

        Jeff flexed unconsciously.  "Nick, don't do this."

        "I'm in love with Nick," Drew murmured to himself.  "I'm in love with Brian."

        "Anybody else?" Nick Carter asked.

        "I'm thinking," Drew said.

        "If you want to have sex with them, you go right ahead," Nick said to Jeff.  "You've been working up to this since day one."

        "This is not about sex," Jeff said.

        "Tell me you don't want to screw them!"

        "Yes, I want them, I want to have sex with them, I want them in my bed," Jeff said.  "I want them in our bed.  Nick's right, this is about you.  I love you."

        "You love me so you want to fuck my little brother.  That's great, Jeff."

        "At least I'd be on the bottom," Drew muttered.

        "This is not about sex," Jeff said.  "If I only wanted sex, I wouldn't turn to anyone who has two actively sexual partners, because what would they want with me?"

        "I can give you a list," Nick Carter said.

        "This is about love and friendship," Jeff continued, ignoring Nick.  "It's about you and Drew.  All of this sexual tension between us, it's not just about sex.  If it were, we'd feel it around JC.  We're feeling it because there's a lot behind it, emotions-"

        "You don't know what I'm feeling," Nick said.

        "I know you better than you know yourself," Jeff said.  "You've always trusted me."

        "That was before you told me that you're in love with someone else."  Nick stormed for the door, pushed past Nick, and left the bedroom.

        "I'm not in love with anybody else!" Jeff shouted.

        "Yes you are," Nick said.

        "Yes," Jeff admitted.  "But not the way he means it."  He ran his hand over his hair.  "I did this all wrong."

        "Hope the kiss was good," Nick said.

        "The kiss was great," Jeff said.  "The kiss was fantastic."

        "Brian has a very good tongue," Nick said.

        "Yes, he does," Jeff agreed.  "Drew, how are you doing down there?"

        "I knew that I loved you," Drew said.  "Nick's my brother and you're my friend.  I knew that I wanted you.  It's obvious why.  I knew that I felt something for you.  That's why we...what do you call that?  Had sex."

        Drew's audience waited with a thrill of anticipation.  Jeff was tense; Brian was nervous; Nick was eager.

        "I didn't know that I was in love with you," Drew said.  "It's not the same as being in love with Brian and Nick.  But it's there.  And it's not...not what I expected.  I didn't know you could be in love with four people at once.  Four different people.  You're very different.  You make me feel different.  I knew it wasn't about sex.  Not just about sex.  But I didn't know it was about this."

        They heard what sounded like breaking glass.

        "I'd better go talk to him," Jeff said.  "Or...Drew?"

        "What?" Drew asked, still thinking.

        "Go talk to Nick for me."

        "I'm not talking to Nick," Drew said quickly, looking up at Jeff.

        "Someone has to."

        "He's your husband."

        "He's your brother."

        "He's not in a very good mood."

        "You can fix that."

        "How?"

        "Do that thing you do," Nick said.

        "What thing?" Drew asked.

        "That thing."

        "What thing?"

        "Drew, without even trying, you have four people who would kill themselves to get a kiss from you.  You're doing something."

        "I'm not doing anything."

        "Talk to Nick."

        "Now, before he breaks something else," Jeff said.

        There was a crash.

        Jeff growled.

        "I'll talk to him," Drew said quickly, and got  up and left the room.

        "That had better not have been what I think it was," Jeff said.

        The three of them waited for a minute or two.  Then Nick got impatient and peeked out into the hallway.  He inched towards the living room.  Jeff and Brian followed a minute later.

        Hiding so as not to be noticed, they stole into the doorway and watched.  Nick was sitting on the sofa, elbows on knees, head bent.  Drew was beside him, sitting sideways facing him, talking softly.  As they watched, Drew's hand rose tentatively.  They held their collective breath.  Slowly, hesitantly, Drew's hand rested on Nick's back as he spoke.

        "If we could bottle that," Jeff whispered.

        "How does he do that?" Nick asked.

        "Nick doesn't stand a chance," Brian whispered.  "Look at them."

        Drew leaned closer, his hand rubbing up and down Nick's back.  Nick said something, and Drew smacked him in the back of the head.

        Nick sat up, rubbing the injured spot, glaring at Drew.  Drew started to talk again, and shoved Nick in the chest lightly to make a point.  Then he put his hand first to his abdomen, then to Nick's.

        Nick Carter tensed.

        "Tattoos," Brian whispered.  Not scars.  Nick relaxed a little.

        Drew put his hand to Nick's upper right arm, and left it there.  He leaned closer, as though trying to make a point, keeping Nick's gaze focused on his.

        "Okay, that's good," Jeff whispered.

        "A tattoo for us, a tattoo for each other," Brian said.  "Good connection."

        Drew started to turn red, and looked down a little as he spoke.

        "Sex," Jeff, Brian, and Nick agreed.

        Drew's hand began to stroke Nick's arm.  They were sure he had no idea he was doing it.  They were equally sure that it was driving Nick nuts.

        Drew looked back up at Nick again, and leaned closer.  A little.  A little more.  Slowly, still talking.  Jeff could feel Nick's terrified, breathless anticipation.  Then Drew stopped moving.  He held very still and waited.

        Slowly, with fear and tenderness, Nick's hand rose to Drew's cheek.

        "And another one bites the dust," Nick Carter said.  Then he grabbed Brian's hand and almost fell when Nick kissed Drew.

        "I am so sick, I can't believe this is turning me on," Jeff said.

        "How could it not?" Nick asked.  He went down on his hands and knees and started to move forward.

        "Where are you going?" Brian whispered.

        "I want to see."

        "Get back here!"

        Nick started to crawl low across the floor, watching Drew and Nick.  He edged around the furniture and came up behind the sofa.  Slowly, he peeked.  "Holy shit!"

        Drew almost bit Nick's tongue.

        Nick smacked Nick in the forehead.

        "You can borrow him for the whole weekend if you tape it for me," Nick said.  "Hey, kiss him again.  I want to watch."

        "No," Nick said.

        "Just once."

        "No," Nick said.

        "Kiss me?"

        "No."

        "Damn."

        "You want me to kiss you?" Nick asked.

        "Hello, yes, where have you been?"

        "You don't even like me."

        "I'm in love with you.  Not by choice.  I don't even want to be.  But I am.  It's Drew's fault."

        "You're in love with me?"

        Nick turned red.

        "Oh," Drew said.

        "What?" Brian asked, sitting behind him on the sofa.

        "I want them to make love," Drew said.  "I didn't know I wanted that."

        "God, he's getting hard," Nick said.  "Drew, you want us to have sex?"

        "I'm not having sex with you," Nick said.

        "Shut up.  Drew, you want that?"

        "I am not having sex with you," Nick repeated.

        "Okay.  You want to have sex with Brian?"

        "Brian?" Nick asked.

        "Brian.  He's sitting right there.  You want him?"

        "I..."

        "Jeff thinks Brian has a very good tongue."

        Nick backed up a little.

        Nick chuckled.  "Score."

        "Shut up," Nick said, flustered.

        "I wonder what they did," Nick said.  "When they were alone.  Together.  In the bedroom.  On the bed.  Sucking tongue.  I bet Jeff started it.  Just started kissing Brian.  And Brian, he didn't stand a chance.  Alone behind a locked door with Jeff.  He was Jeff's as soon as that door closed, and he didn't even know it.  They said they were groping.  Just a little.  I wonder where.  Maybe over their clothes, not under them.  Brian's hands on Jeff's big hard chest, feeling that power, all of that muscle, his arms.  And I wonder where Jeff's hands were...  Brian's fun to touch in so many places..."  Nick smiled as he watched Nick's eyes roaming Brian for places to touch.  "I know the best places," he said.  "Drew does, too.  It's a trade secret.  Do you want me to tell you, or do you want to figure it out for yourself?"

        Nick could see Nick thinking about it, debating whether he wanted to be told or to learn Brian's body on his own.  Then he could see the moment Nick realized exactly what he was thinking.  Nick backed up again.  Nick Carter chuckled.

        "Stop moving away from me," Drew said.  "Come here."

        "Come...there?" Nick asked.

        "Come here," Drew insisted, and dragged Nick closer.  "Stay."

        "Drew's a dom," Nick told Nick.  "Get used to it."

        "I am not," Drew said, scandalized.

        Jeff took a seat on the coffee table.  "The real question is what do we do now?"

        "Fuck each other," Nick said.

        "How?" Jeff asked.

        "I'll teach you," Nick said.

        Drew tugged on Nick's earlobe.  Then he nestled back into Brian, who stroked his abdomen.

        "I meant how do we...how do we...we can't all be in bed at once," Jeff said.

        "Yes we can," Nick said.

        "I don't want it that way," Jeff said.

        "You want us to take turns going off into rooms in pairs?" Nick asked.  "And someone can sit in the waiting room?"

        "We could do it like we did it last time," Brian said.  Drew was comfortable and quiet in his arms, a warm weight against him.  He rested his cheek against Drew's hair.

        "Taking turns, but everyone's there together?" Jeff asked.

        "I'm the only one here who hasn't done a major sex act in front of everyone, and you know I won't mind doing it," Nick said.

        "I think it's best if we're all there together," Brian said.

        "And we are talking about real real sex?" Nick asked.  "Whip out the lube, boys, we're going in?"

        "Yes," Jeff said.

        "Damn.  When?"

        "Not tonight," Jeff said.

        "Damn."

        "I think we need a little time."

        "Hey, if you wait long enough, Drew won't be a virgin anymore, and then you can do him."

        Drew put his hand over his eyes.

        "I don't know how to ask this," Jeff said.  "Are the two of you a package deal?"

        "We can work separately or together," Nick said.  "Depending on whether you have perverted fantasies of us double-teaming you."

        Nick's ears turned red.

        Nick chuckled.

        "Shut up," Nick said.

        "We've watched you two get it on," Nick said.  "If you want to watch us with Drew, you can."

        Drew hid his face in Brian's chest.

        "And you can show us how you really do it," Nick said.

        "If you don't want us to...penetrate...Drew, we don't have to," Jeff said.  "Even if you've already taken care of that.  It will be so new, for you and for him, and I wouldn't-"

        "It's okay," Nick said.  "You can have him.  Just don't make it so good he doesn't want me anymore."

        "I'm sure that won't be a problem," Jeff said.

        "Where do you want to do it?" Nick asked.  "The guest bedroom?"

        "That's fine," Jeff said.

        "Or we could do it in our bedroom," Nick said.

        Jeff smiled.  "All right."

        "Good.  Let's go there now and get it on."

        "We're waiting," Jeff reminded him.

        "For what?"

        "Just another day or two."

        "You're a dom, aren't you?"

        "He likes to think so," Nick muttered.

        "Scoot back," Drew said to Brian.  Brian complied, shifting backwards until he was up against the armrest.  Drew rested snugly back against him, then said to Nick Carter, "Come here."

        "Out of my way," Nick said to Nick, and climbed over the back of the sofa, dropping down into Drew's lap.  He wriggled around some, getting cosy.  "Mmm.  I'll just stay here."  He rested his head back on Drew's shoulder.  "You all keep talking and I'll take a nap."  He opened his eyes and said to Nick, "Take off my shoes and rub my feet."

        "No," Nick said.

        "Jeff would do it."

        "No he wouldn't."

        "Nick has nice feet," Drew said.

        "There's room for one more," Nick said to Jeff.  "Come sit here and rub my feet."

        "Okay," Jeff said.  "Give me a minute to talk to Nick first."  He rose and left.

        Drew gave Nick a sympathetic look.  Brian gave him an encouraging look.  Nick smirked.

        Nick got up and followed Jeff.

        Jeff closed the bedroom door once Nick was inside, and kept his back to Nick for a moment.

        Nick started to die inside.

        "Don't you ever do that to me again," Jeff said to the door, voice low, head bowed.  His fingers tensed against the wood.  "Ever."

        Silence.

        Jeff's fist hit the door.  Nick jumped.

        Silence.

        "I'm sorry for kissing Brian.  It was bad timing.  I never should have done it without talking to you first, without talking to Drew and Nick and getting it all out like we just did.  I was wrong, and I'm sorry."

        Nick licked his lips.  He had to say something.  He just didn't have any idea what.  There was a long silence.  He watched Jeff's muscles tense, and braced himself.

        Jeff's fist hit the door again.

        Silence.

        "You don't know," Jeff said, "what it did to me.  What it did, what it's still doing, what it does to me.  To hear you say..."

        Nick was dying.

        "...that you don't love me."

        "Jeff..."

        Jeff dealt the door a blow so hard Nick honestly expected the wood to splinter.  When Jeff rounded on him, he flinched.  Jeff just stared at him, blue eyes wide and intense, mouth thin and tense.

        Silence.

        "When you fuck me tonight," Jeff said, "you think about that."  He left the room.

        Nick died.

        There was no way he could sleep like this.  He'd just wait for JC to come home.

        He rolled to his stomach and propped himself up on his elbows.  He rapped to himself quietly, body moving slightly, automatically, with the rhythm.

        He reached out and stroked a railing in the headboard.

        He fell silent.

        JC...

        The first time, he hadn't even realized what had happened; he'd been too lost to JC even to notice.  When he had realized it, afterward, he'd scared himself.

        The second time, it had been incredible.  With the snap of the railing, something inside of him had snapped.  The thread of control.  The railing broke, and Justin's passion burst free.

        It was a terrifying thing.

        He wanted to do it again.

        Only JC could do that to him.

        No one else could even try.

        He heard a key; the front door opened.  Closed.  Footsteps.  Bathroom door.  Toilet, sink.  Footsteps.  "Justin?"

        "I'm awake.  You can turn on the light."

        "Sorry I'm late."  JC didn't turn on the light.  Justin kept his back to the room, ran his fingers up and down the polished wood.  He listened to the quiet sounds of JC undressing.  The creak of the closet door, the soft thump of shoes hitting the floor.  The click of the hamper lid.

        He didn't hear the zipper of JC's fly.

        JC came onto the bed, behind him, climbing over him, kissing the back of his shoulder, hand caressing his side.  The bedclothes were between them.  So were JC's jeans.

        He couldn't help it.  His cock started to get hard.  His body moved towards JC automatically, shifting back towards JC's touch.

        "Let me make love to you," JC whispered.

        "We can't."  How could JC be in the mood this fast?  He'd come home five seconds ago, and suddenly he was in the zone like they'd been at it for an hour.

        But that was JC.  JC was ready on command.  JC turned on any time Justin was in sight, and Justin knew that.  And he was ready, too.  As soon as JC wanted him, he wanted, too.

        "Please, Justin," JC said, lips against his skin.

        "Last time was the last time."

        "Let me make love to you."  JC was kissing his back, stroking his side, and JC's mouth melted him, and JC's touch burned him.  He could feel the slow sparks from each finger on his flesh.

        "You said.  You said it was the last time."

        "Please, baby."

        He couldn't say no.  JC knew he couldn't say no.  "This is so wrong," he whispered without thinking.

        "It's so right," JC whispered, and tugged down the sheets, drawing them off of Justin, exposing his young, muscular form.

        Justin shivered when JC's hand parted his thighs.  "JC."

        "Open for me, baby."

        "JC, no," he whispered.

        The world stopped.

        Justin rolled over.

        JC looked at him through the darkness.

        "JC."  Justin raised his knees, spread his thighs.  "Make love to me.  Please."

        "You're beautiful," Drew said.  "Thank you."  He kissed Brian.  "Thank you."

        Brian unlocked the front door and led them into the house, flipping on the light.  "I'm sorry," he said, and looked at them.  "I'm...I'm sorry."

        "It's all right," Drew said.  "I understand now."

        "Weren't you telling me to behave myself?" Nick asked.  "Telling me not to come on to Jeff?  And then you start making out with him?  What was it like?  Was it good?  Where did he grope you?"

        "What happened?" Drew asked.

        "I asked him if he was in love with you," Brian said.  "He said that he was.  He looked at me, and I...I could feel...it was like..."

        "Like what?" Nick asked.

        "You know what it feels like when you're on your back and Drew's on top of you and suddenly you realize that he's going to kiss you?"

        "Oh shit."

        "It felt sort of like that."

        "Damn."

        "He kissed my cheek, and I closed my eyes, and he said that he loved me, and he kissed me, and he said that he was in love with me, and...  I've kissed him before.  Once.  This time was slow.  I felt like he was seducing me, and I knew that he was seducing me, and I couldn't do a thing about it."

        "What happened?" Nick asked.

        "We won't get mad," Drew said.

        Brian hesitated.  "He put his hand on the inside of my thigh."

        "Which hand, which thigh?" Nick asked.

        "His right hand inside my right thigh," Brian said.  "I can still feel it.  It felt good."

        "How does he know where your hot spots are?" Nick asked.

        "That's a hot spot on everybody," Brian said.

        "No, it's different on you," Drew said.

        "Really?" Brian asked.

        "Yes," Drew said.

        "Tell us more," Nick said.  "He put his hand there, he's kissing you, what else?"

        "It felt good."

        "You were already sucking each other's tongues?"

        "Yes.  His hand slid up a little, and then down, and then he sort of squeezed, a little, applying some pressure, and..."

        "I know you did something," Nick said.  "He was doing all the right stuff, I know you reacted."

        "I laid down," Brian said quickly, "on my back, and he got on top of me."

        "Shit."

        "We kissed, and he was touching my thigh, but he didn't, he didn't..."

        "He didn't grab your balls or anything."

        "No."

        "Good.  Save that for later."

        "I never got to touch him before.  It was nice."

        "Where'd you touch him?"

        "His shoulders.  His back, his arms."

        "You want more?"

        "Yes."

        "Lots more, and naked?"

        "Yes."

        "Good.  Is that it?"

        "Yeah."

        "Good.  I would've tried to get him in my pants.  I would have tried to get in his pants.  You were very strong.  How hard was he?"

        "I don't know."

        "You don't know?"

        "I don't know."

        "How hard were you?"

        Brian hesitated.  "Very."

        "Good.  Let's go upstairs and have sex.  Drew's going to do fun things to me.  Drew, what are you going to do to me?"

        "You promise you won't laugh?"

        "Laugh?  No laughing.  Are you going to be kinky?"

        "Promise me you won't laugh."

        "I promise," Nick said.  "Honest.  No laughing.  Even if there's a trapeze and mayonnaise."

        "Will you go upstairs and get in bed, please?"

        "If you tie me up and come on me."

        "I..."  Drew hesitated.

        "What?"

        "I wasn't going to."

        "You weren't going to?"

        "No."

        "Could you?"

        "Do you...do you want me to?"

        "Yes."

        "Oh."

        "You don't have to."

        "I'm not sure I can."

        "Think about it."  Nick kissed him and jogged upstairs.

        Drew turned to Brian.  He ran his thumb gently over Brian's eyebrows.  "Please help me."

        "I don't have to," Brian said.  "If this is something you...I know you're not comfortable."

        "I'm always comfortable with you," Drew said.  "It's myself I don't trust.  I trust you.  Please help me do this."

        Brian nodded and kissed him.  Slow, gentle.  "What do you want me to do?"

        Drew looked panicked momentarily.  "How do I tie him up?"

        Brian smiled.  "I can help you with that.  What else are we going to do?"

        Drew told him.  Brian was stunned, but recovered quickly.  They kissed some more, then went upstairs together.

        Nick was lying on the bed, naked, touching his cock.  "Took you long enough.  What are we doing?  You forgot the goat and the diving board."

        "Be quiet," Brian said.

        "Gag me."

        "No, I like it when you talk," Drew said.

        "Good, because I never shut up," Nick said.  "What are we doing?  Hey, stop going through my things.  Oh.  Damn."

        Brian handed one of the scarves to Drew.  "You take that side."  He came around the bed and took Nick's right hand.  "No masturbating."

        "You're really going to do it.  Oh sweet motherfucker, they're really going to do it.  I'm going to come.  They're oh my god oh my god oh my god."  Nick squeezed his eyes shut tightly and kept whispering "oh my god."

        "You okay?" Brian asked when Drew had finished his side.  "Nick."

        Nick gasped and spread his legs.  "Oh my god oh my god."  He tried to tug his arms free.  "Oh sweet motherfucker."

        "Tell me you're okay," Brian said, a hand on his chest.

        Nick's body rose at Brian's touch.  "I can't handle this," he whispered.  "I can't do this, Brian, I can't do this."  He closed his eyes.

        "Breathe," Brian said softly, stroking his chest, sitting beside him on the bed.  "Nick, breathe.  Slower.  It's okay.  I'm right here."

        Nick pulled at the ties in vain.

        "You can't get free," Brian said.  "You'll have to trust us."

        "I trust you, I trust you," Nick said.

        "Good," Brian said.  "You trust us.  You know it's okay.  You know you're safe here.  I'm right here, Drew's right here.  You know you're safe."

        "Oh my god."

        "Sshhh."  Brian made calming noises and pet Nick's chest.  "It's okay.  We're right here."

        "Okay, okay, okay."  Nick tried to breathe.  "Okay.  Oh my god."

        "You're okay?"

        "I'm okay."

        "What do you want me to do?"

        Nick waited, eyes closed, swallowing.  "Okay.  Bring in the goat."

        "You're okay?"

        "I'm okay."

        Brian kissed his forehead and rose from the bed.

        "How did you do that?" Drew asked Brian.  "You knew he would do that.  How did you know he would do that?"

        "I just knew," Brian said.

        "I didn't do that," Drew said.  "When Jeff did that to me."

        "You and Nick are very different people."

        "I've noticed."

        Brian kissed Drew.

        Nick watched, breathing carefully.  "Are you getting sidetracked?"

        "Yes," Brian said, and started to undress Drew.

        "They're going to have sex," Nick said.

        "No they're not," Drew said.

        "Damn.  Why not?"  No one answered him.  Brian and Drew were too busy kissing each other and stripping.  He watched some more, trying to relax, enjoying the show.  When they were naked, they finally broke apart; Brian came around the other side of the bed again and sat beside him.  "Now what?" Nick asked.

        Drew opened his top dresser drawer.

        "Belts," Nick said.

        "No," Brian said.

        "Damn," Nick said, but relaxed visibly.

        Drew closed the drawer.

        "What's in your hand?" Nick asked.

        Drew sat beside him on the bed.

        "Oh my god," Nick said.  "Holy shit.  Holy shit holy shit holy shit."

        Drew unscrewed the cap.

        "Wow," Nick whispered with awe.

        Drew spilled gold glitter into his palm.

        "Brian, I am having the best dream ever.  Do not wake me.  I have died and gone to heaven.  And there's a Drew angel.  A naked Drew angel with glitter."

        "I saw this in a store," Drew said.  "We were in New York and we had a few free hours."  His hand drifted towards Nick.  "We were out shopping.  It was after Heidelberg, and we were still nervous about going in public, so we all went together.  It made us feel a little safer to be together.  We went into a drugstore to get toothpaste and something else, I don't remember what.  And I saw this, sitting there by the cash register."  His hand tilted in the air over Nick's chest.  "And I thought of you."  Sparkling gold dropped down onto Nick's skin.  "I thought of you.  How beautiful you would look shining in gold."

        Nick held his breath with amazement and reverence as golden glitter fell from Drew's hand.

        Drew poured some more from the bottle into his palm.  "I don't know why I bought it.  But I wanted to have it.  I didn't tell anyone I'd gotten it.  All the rest of the day, I thought about it.  As soon as we got back to the hotel, I got it out and looked at it.  Just looked."  Tiny flakes of gold dusted Nick's stomach.  "I had the most wonderful dream.  You were golden and Brian was making love to you.  I came in my sleep."

        Brian took the bottle from Drew and put the glitter into his own palm.  Drew pinched up small bits of it and started to paint Nick with his fingers, trailing glitter over Nick's skin.  He hummed to himself softly, focused on his work.  Brian supplied the glitter, and Nick supplied the canvas.

        "So beautiful," Drew murmured, leaving the sparkles in patterns around Nick's navel.  He reached for more.

        Nick closed his eyes and felt Drew's fingers brushing gold across his forehead, down his cheeks.