Copyright July 9-14, 2003 by Matthew Haldeman-Time

Rating: PG-13

Pairing: Ashley Angel/Aaron Carter

Disclaimer: Nick Carter, Aaron Carter, and the young men who comprise the O-Town are their own people.  The author has not met anyone here described, nor does the author mean to suggest that these people act this way in real life.  This writing is a work of fiction.  I make no money from this venture.

Wherein Ashley, oh, Ashley, what are we going to do with you?

Notice: Normally, I would give this story a higher rating because Aaron Carter is a minor.  However, I don't want to scare away readers by making them think that I'm writing about a grown man screwing a child, because I'm not.  Therefore, the rating stands at PG-13.

---

Vanessa

        Ashley might never see Aaron again.

        That didn’t deter him from thinking about Aaron, missing Aaron, and jacking off over Aaron.

        He called, once.  He hung up when Jonas answered.

        He talked to Dan and Trevor about it, finally.  Dan thought he’d made the right decision.  Trevor thought the whole situation sucked.

        December seventh.  Aaron’s birthday.  Sweet sixteen.  Ashley stuck a candle in a cupcake, but didn’t light it.  What was the point in wishing for something he couldn’t have?

        He was twenty-two, mooning over a sixteen-year-old boy.  He didn’t know if that was lecherous or pathetic or both.  He should get over it.  He should focus on his career, or get a hobby, or find a boyfriend.

        He wondered what would have happened if he’d kissed Aaron that last day.

        He shoved the cupcake down the garbage disposal, wrapper, candle, and all.  He got icing on his fingers.  When he licked it off, it was sweet, and he thought of Aaron, and then he jacked off there in the kitchen, going down on his knees in the end, doubled over, breathing hard, free hand reaching up to grab the edge of the sink, coming on the floor.

        God, he missed Aaron.

        The phone rang.

        Ashley put his dick back in his shorts and got up, wiping off sweat with his clean hand, reaching for the phone.  “Hello?”

        “Is this Ashley?”

        His brain had to be fogged up; it sounded like…  “Yeah.”

        “This is Nick Carter.  I got your number but I don’t know - - are you in California?”

        Ashley could barely breathe.  “Yeah.”

        “So are we.  Today’s Aaron’s birthday.  Can you come by?”

        “I don’t…  I don’t know.”

        “We’re in L.A., at the California Divine on O’Shea Boulevard.  Penthouse.  Can you be here by ten?”

        Ashley swallowed.  “Yes.”

        “Great.  Bring something.  Aaron likes presents.”  Nick hung up.

        Ashley hung up and dropped the phone.

        There were splashes of cum on the floor.

        Nick had invited him for Aaron’s birthday.

        He had the permission of the one person who knew Aaron best and loved Aaron most.

        Well, shit.

        He had a present to buy.

        He’d been trying to tell himself that it would be best if Aaron dismissed him entirely and never gave him another thought.  That, of course, was bullshit.  He didn’t want Aaron to be over him at all.

        Aaron was growing up to be a gorgeous young man.  Ashley couldn’t wait to look at him again.

        His ears were pierced.  Ashley could get him earrings.  Or maybe that would be too personal.

        Aaron loved the water, but Ashley wasn’t sure what sort of boating swimming water stuff Aaron might like or even need.

        He was sixteen now, driving age, but Ashley wasn’t going to buy him a car.  No doubt he was getting one from his family, anyway.

        Ashley closed his eyes and pictured Aaron.  What had he ever thought about Aaron needing?

        Bracelets.

        Aaron wore bracelets, usually cheap bands of some sort, plastic beads, leather cuffs.  Aaron should have real bracelets.  They’d set off his long-fingered hands.  Perfect!

        Ashley went to the most expensive jewelry store he could think of and spent way, way, way too much money.  In addition to the bracelets, he bought rings, nothing too big or too heavy, just wanting something to draw attention to Aaron’s fingers.  Back in the car, he played Another Earthquake at top volume and grinned like a fool the whole way home.

        Aaron wore all white a lot, professionally.  Also all black.

        Ashley had to get his mind off Aaron and start choosing clothes, or he’d spend all day naked and not get to leave the house.

        Time was passing.  The clock was ticking.  He’d spent too long trying to find the right present, and now he was wasting even more time staring at the clothes strewn over his bed.

        Black pants.  Black T-shirt.  White button-down, open.  He wasn’t satisfied, but it would have to do.  He found the right pair of shoes, pissed away too much time on his hair, and was ready to go.  He hit the road, the bracelets and rings in an elegant gift box on the seat beside him.

        An hour out of town, the best day of Ashley’s life to date became the night from hell.

        First, he got a flat tire.

        He fixed it and drove on.

        His car died.  All of warning lights came on, the engine sputtered, and he narrowly avoided being slammed into by the car behind him as he pulled off of the road.

        He called Dan, and a tow truck.

        He sat by the side of the road for an hour and a half, waiting for Dan to get to him, waiting for the tow truck.

        After he watched his car being taken away, Dan drove him a little further.

        It started to rain.

        Someone rear-ended them.

        Dan had been in such a rush to come get Ashley, he’d left the soft top at home, and the other driver was such an asshole they didn’t want to sit with him, so Dan and Ashley sat in Dan’s car, freezing, with the rain pouring down on them.  Dan said since it was his car, he’d stay to talk to the police; he called Ashley a cab and handed over enough money to pay for it.  The first cab company they called wouldn’t drive all of the way to L.A., but the second would.

        Dripping wet, chilled through, definitely late, clutching the gift box, Ashley took a cab the rest of the way.

        The driver wasn’t familiar with L.A., and got lost.  Ashley gave up on him, got out and sent him home, and stood freezing in more rain trying to hail another cab.

        By the time Ashley got to the California Divine, walking into the lobby soaked and suffering, he was beginning to feel that he was being conspired against.  It was after two in the morning, and he had trouble convincing the clerk at the front desk that she should let him up to the penthouse.  He was feeling so miserable he couldn’t muster a decent flirt, and he’d spent all of his and Dan’s money on cab fare, and he wasn’t even sure Aaron was still there.  Aaron was probably long gone, and so was Nick, and it hurt to remember how happy he’d been earlier that day.

        The manager on duty came out and agreed to call the penthouse, since Ashley was a celebrity.  Thank god for being recognized.

        The manager made the call from his office, so Ashley had to wait in agonized suspense, not even sure what the guy was saying, or to whom, or even if anyone were in the penthouse, or even if he were calling at all.

        The manager stepped out of his office and gestured to a bellboy.  “Please see Mr. Angel up to the penthouse.”

        “Thank you,” Ashley said, so grateful he wanted to sink to the floor.  Only once he was in the elevator did he realize he hadn’t asked the manager who’d answered the phone.

        Did Aaron know he was coming?

        The bellboy left him there in the small alcove outside of the elevator.  Ashley could do nothing about his damp clothes, and had no idea how his hair looked, so he gave up and rang the doorbell.

        “No, I’ve got it,” he heard, as Nick opened the door.  “Where the hell have you been?” Nick whispered.  Then Nick gave him a quick once-over, and snorted with laughter.  “And what have you been doing?”

        “Bite me,” Ashley said.  “Where’s Aaron?”

        “I’m going to like you,” Nick said, grinning.  “He’s here.  Everybody else is long gone.  He didn’t know you were coming, so this should surprise the shit out of him.  You ready?”

        “No, but yes,” Ashley said, coming into the penthouse.  He whistled.  “This place is nice.”

        “Only the best,” Nick said.  “Give me five minutes.”  He left Ashley, going into another room.

        Ashley found a mirror hanging on the wall, then wished he hadn’t.

        Nick returned.  “I’ll call you tomorrow!”

        “Bye!” Aaron called back.  The sound of his voice was so familiar, and so close, that warm, nervous anticipation spread outward from Ashley’s stomach.

        “Oh, hey.  There’s one more present out here!”

        “Another one?!”

        “Last one of the night, I promise!  Bye!”  Nick squeezed Ashley’s shoulder and left.

        Ashley waited.

        A minute later, Aaron wandered into the room, barefoot in lace-up black leather pants and a ratty, vintage Backstreet Boys T-shirt, a collar around his long neck, one hand scratching the back of his head.  It took him a moment to notice Ashley, and when he did, he froze still as a statue.

        “Hi,” Ashley said.  “Happy birthday.”

        Aaron’s hand dropped.  “What are you doing here?”

        “Nick invited me.”  He held out the box.  “I got you something.”

        Aaron took the box without looking at it.  “Why are you wet?”

        “It’s raining.”

        Aaron nodded.

        “What did you get?” Ashley asked.

        “Get?” Aaron repeated, looking somewhat dazed.

        Ashley wanted to push Aaron against the nearest wall, sink to his knees, slide as slowly as possible up Aaron’s body, and lick that neck.  “Presents.”

        “A bunch of videogames,” Aaron said, sounding like he was running on automatic.  “Nick got me a Benz and an Escalade.  Angel got upset because she only got a Benz, so Nick said he’ll give me my new speedboat later.”

        “Did you have a big party?”

        “Yeah.  Everybody came, the Backstreet Boys and Britney and Chris and Joey and Lance and everybody.  There was even paparazzi outside taking pictures of everybody coming in.  I was like, guys, it’s just my birthday, I get older every year, but Nick said when the prince of pop turns sixteen it’s a big deal.  He’s an idiot, but I have an interview with People magazine tomorrow, so I guess that’s not a coincidence.”

        “Probably not.”

        “I wonder if Angel got her wish,” Aaron said vaguely, still staring.

        “Why?”

        “When we blew out the candles I wished you were here.  You’re here.  I wonder if she got what she wished for, too.”

        Ashley was very distracted by front of Aaron’s pants.  The laces had been loosened, the ends swinging free, and he could see a very slight, teasing hint of gray that had to be Aaron’s underwear.

        “Do you want something to wear?” Aaron asked, starting to sound aware and normal again, back to reality.  “You look soaked.”

        “Yeah,” Ashley said.  He’d forgotten he was wet at all.  “Do you have anything?”

        “Yeah.  I get the whole week off, except for the interview tomorrow.  That’s my best present from my mom.  I’m staying here all week, doing nothing but relaxing, so I brought some clothes.  Come on.”  Aaron led the way back to the bedroom, which was outrageously lush.  He rummaged through a suitcase on the floor, then handed Ashley sweatpants and a T-shirt.  “These should fit.  I’ll be out in the, uh, other room.”  He left.

        Ashley changed quickly, leaving his wet clothes in the bathroom, wanting to get back to Aaron.

        Aaron was pacing the living room, chewing on his fingernails, Ashley’s gift box clutched in one hand.  Someone must have cleaned up after the party, but there were a lot of things strewn around that must have been gifts: games, CD’s, clothes, a Segway.  There was a stereo system half in boxes in one corner that had to cost as much as a small house.  And there Aaron was, in the center of it, young and nervous, half rock star, half normal teenager.

        “You look amazing,” Ashley said.

        Aaron turned.  He realized what he was doing and dropped his hand.

        “What time is your interview tomorrow?”

        “Uh…ten.”

        “You should go to bed.”

        “Are you…leaving?”

        “I don’t want to,” Ashley said.

        “You can stay,” Aaron said.

        “Okay.”

        “There’s only one bedroom.  You can have the bed.”

        “I’ll sleep out here,” Ashley said.  “Can’t kick you out of your bed on your birthday.”

        “Okay.”

        They looked at each other for a moment longer.

        Aaron took a few steps backward.  “I’ll see you in the morning.”

        “Good night,” Ashley said.

        “Thanks, thanks for coming,” Aaron said.

        Ashley watched him turn and go.

        The door to the bedroom closed.

        Ashley dropped onto the sofa and closed his eyes to absorb the impact of the evening.  God.  Aaron looked fucking amazing and was very clearly not over him in the slightest, all of which made Ashley’s dick pulse with anticipation.

        Ashley’s brain was very much awake, but the rest of him had had a long day and wanted to rest.  He wanted to jack off and go to sleep, but he was not going to put his hand anywhere near his dick with Aaron just on the other side of that door.  If Aaron got up for any reason and walked out and saw him - - hell, no.  Ashley was walking a very, very fine line as it was.

        Ashley got up and found a closet near the front door.  He took a pillow and blanket from there, and settled down with them on the couch.  Ignoring the throbbing of his dick, he closed his eyes and sent up a small prayer thanking God for Nick and Dan, without whose help he wouldn’t be feeling like the happiest person alive.

        Ashley opened his eyes.

        Aaron was sitting at the end of the couch, by Ashley’s feet, on the phone, chewing on his thumbnail as he listened.  “Yeah.  Yeah.  Right.”

        Ashley pulled himself up a little, glad to see that Aaron was not wearing those lace-up leather pants anymore, since they’d featured far too prominently in Ashley’s dreams.

        “Okay.  Yeah.  I will.  Love you, too.  Bye.”  Aaron hung up and looked at Ashley.  “Last-minute interview instructions from Mom.  Room service is sending up breakfast.  It turns out the interview’s supposed to be in here.”

        “I should go, then,” Ashley said, trying to sound like his heart hadn’t dropped.  He hated People magazine with a violent passion.

        “No, you can stay, but you might want to fix your hair or something.  You can wear any of my clothes you want.  If you want.”

        “Okay.”  The doorbell rang, and while Aaron was busy letting in room service, Ashley escaped to the bathroom with his throbbing hard-on.  God, what was he doing, he was crazy.  He wanted to spend the week shacked up in this penthouse, licking Aaron’s neck and jacking off, but he couldn’t, that was crazy, he was nuts if he thought he could get away with it.

        He’d made the right decision before when he’d walked away.  That had been the right thing to do.  This was madness.  This was walking right into danger again.  Courting temptation.

        He should put his wrinkly, dry clothes on and wish Aaron a happy birthday and leave.

        He jacked off in the shower, quick and unsatisfying, just to get it out.

        He used the soap that was already in the shower, and made use of the complimentary shaving kit he’d discovered.  Only when he’d poured the shampoo into his hand and the scent reached his nostrils did he realize that it was Aaron’s.

        Clean, he put on yesterday’s underwear and snuck to the bedroom without being seen.  Ignoring his own very sound advice, he put on yesterday’s clothes, went back to the bathroom to brush his teeth, fixed his hair as best he could, and decided that cautiously winging it was the way to go.

        Aaron was at the kitchen table, legs drawn up, shredding pastries.

        “Are you even eating that?” Ashley asked.

        Aaron looked up, apparently having been so deep in thought he hadn’t heard Ashley’s approach.  “What?  Yeah.  No.”  He brushed crumbs off his hands.  “You want some?”

        “Yeah,” Ashley said, taking a seat.  “I was thinking.  I want to stay, if that’s all right with you.”

        “Stay…today?” Aaron asked.

        “This week,” Ashley said.  “While you’re here.  If you have other plans, or you’d rather be alone-”

        “No,” Aaron said.  “I want you to stay.”

        “I’m going to run out and pick up some stuff,” Ashley said.  “Like underwear, for one thing, since I didn’t really pack for this.”

        “Okay.”

        The hotel’s danish tasted like the finest, richest gourmet.  Then again, Ashley was feeling so good, so excited and happy, that he could have been eating stale Saltines and thought the same of them.  He watched Aaron shred a doughnut, and realized that Aaron was wearing one of his bracelets and two of his rings.  They looked elegantly extravagant, so out of place that they were exactly right, just like what Aaron had been wearing last night.

        Ashley would have been happy to sit there with Aaron all morning, but he wanted to be out before People showed up, so he finished his orange juice and stood.  “I’ll see you in a little while.”

        “Yeah, okay,” Aaron said.

        Shit.  Double shit.  “I don’t have any cash for a cab.”

        “Oh.  Hold on.”  Aaron came out of his haze and got up, coming back from the bedroom with an envelope.  “How much do you need?”

        “I’m not - - I’ll pay you back.”

        “You don’t have to,” Aaron said, sincerely surprised.

        “I just need enough to get to a store and back.”

        “Uh, Ashley, I’ve never paid for a cab in my life,” Aaron said.  “I have no idea how much that would be.”

        Ashley laughed.  “Sorry.”  He plucked a few bills from the envelope.  “I’ll see you later.”

        “Okay.”

        Ashley resisted the urge to drop a kiss on Aaron’s cheek, or on Aaron’s lips, or on Aaron’s neck, or anywhere else, like the base of his throat right where his collarbone-

        “Do you want a key?” Aaron asked.

        “Oh, yeah,” Ashley said.  “Thanks.”  Aaron handed it over, and Ashley forced himself to go, promising himself that Aaron wasn’t going to disappear if he walked away.

        Then he picked up a notepad and a pen, and sat on a bench in the sun, writing lyrics of infatuation, exploring love and obsession and the forbidden.  Jacob had told him that if he really wanted to express himself through words, if he wanted his music to get out what he was really going through, then he had to hit four points: his brain, his heart, his guts, and his dick.  Ashley hit all four and then some.

        Being recognized and signing autographs broke Ashley’s lyrical flow, so he got a cab and went back to the Divine.  A casual inquiry at the front desk let him know that People had gone, so he went up to the penthouse.  He knocked at the door, then let himself in.

        Aaron was sitting on the couch, legs stretched out before him and crossed at the ankle, looking like he’d been thinking again.  The TV was turned to MTV, but soundless.  “Hey,” Ashley said, setting down his bags, walking over toward Aaron.  “How was the interview?”

        “Good.  They took a bunch of pictures.”

        Ashley sat beside him, turned to face him, close but not too close.  “Are you okay?”

        “Why are you here?”  Aaron glanced at him, bright brown eyes, then away again.

        “I’ve been missing you,” Ashley said.  “Really missing you.  When Nick called, and invited me to come, I came.”

        “Why is it okay now if we couldn’t have anything to do with each other before?”

        “I’m still not sure it is okay now,” Ashley said.  “But two things have changed.  You’re sixteen, and Nick asked me to be here.  He was the one who saw what was happening; he was the one who said we should stop.  I think I trust Nick to treat you well.”

        “Why were you that wet, and why did you need a cab?  Didn’t you drive?”

        “I tried to, but a lot of stuff happened,” Ashley said.  “I can tell you about it if you have an hour.”

        Aaron finally gave him that smile he’d been wanting to see.  “What are you talking about?  I have all week.”

        On Monday, they played videogames.

        On Tuesday, they tried out all of Aaron’s other new presents, setting up the stereo; playing CD’s; piling together all of the cash, checks, and gift certificates; riding the Segway all through the penthouse.  Aaron wanted to try out his new clothes, so he changed outfits constantly; Ashley lost count after number seventeen.

        Wednesday, they watched movie after movie after movie.  Nick came by, and Ashley’s dick gave a twitch of recognition, but that was it.  Aaron was the one giving Ashley those hot, guilty, wrenching, luscious feelings now.  Also warm feelings, and happy feelings, and God I can’t believe this is happening but don’t ever let it end feelings.  Nick still cuddled and tickled and teased and snuggled Aaron, and Aaron still pretended he could barely tolerate it but soaked it up, draping himself over Nick like furniture wasn’t available.  Ashley hoped they never got too old for that.

        By eleven that night, Nick had gone, and Aaron was acting restless, so Ashley suggested they try out one of Aaron’s new cars.  Aaron lit up at the idea.  They took out the Benz, top down, blaring whatever they found on the radio.  Accidentally pushing the wrong button, Ashley started the CD player.  Since it was a brand-new car, they hadn’t expected to find a CD in it, but all of a sudden they heard Nick singing “Happy Birthday.”

        After recovering from a wild burst of laughter, Aaron said, “Make it stop, make it stop, he’s such an idiot, turn it off.”

        “Happy birthday!” Nick said, once he’d finished singing.  “Hope you had a good one.  I love you.”

        “He’s crazy,” Aaron said.

        “You’re not doing a bad job of driving this thing,” Ashley said.

        “I’ve driven before,” Aaron said.  “Not legally, or anything.”

        “It’s still not legal,” Ashley said.  “You don’t have a license or a permit or anything, do you?”

        “Uh, well, no,” Aaron said.  “Hope we don’t get pulled over, then.”

        Ashley laughed.  “Do you ever get in trouble for anything?”

        “No.  What, are you kidding?  Who’s going to do what to me?  They can’t even ground me.  My mom is not the type of mother who’s going to punish me and make me miss an interview to teach me a lesson if I act up or do something.  My career always comes first, and I am my career, so I always come first.”

        “What you’re saying is, we’re all lucky you’re so nice, because if you wanted to, you could be a horrible son-of-a-bitch running over everybody and throwing diva fits to get your way.”

        “Yeah, I guess,” Aaron said.

        “What’s kept you from being that way?”

        “Nick, I think.  Mostly.  And, just, I don’t want to be a little brat kid no one can stand.  I don’t want to be hard to work with.  I know people who are hard to work with, and they’re awful.  I figure if I’m easy to work with, people will want to work with me, and then I can get more done.”

        “Pretty smart.”

        “Being a cute little kid can only get you so far.  You have to learn how to work hard and do your job well, because after a while you’re not going to be that cute little kid anymore, and then what?”

        “Did you ever think about what you’d do if you didn’t have your career anymore?”

        Aaron glanced at him, then back at the road.  “Yeah.”

        Ashley changed the station.

        “It’s funny.  I think Chris Kirkpatrick was the first person who really sat me down and told me to start working out a back-up plan.  He said you never know what’s going to happen, you never know, so you have to realize that everything you have today, you may not have tomorrow.  Before, it didn’t really matter, because if I stopped all of this, I could just go to school and be a kid and take it from there.  But now, I can’t go back that easily.  I think, now, I mean, who wouldn’t want to get into pro ball, but then, how likely is it?  So I might try to finish up and get my GED and then get a degree in marine biology.  Or I could try out another aspect of the business.  There’s always something.”

        “Yeah.”

        Aaron took them out onto the highway, and Ashley closed his eyes and felt the speed, felt the cold wind, listened to Aaron singing along with the radio.  The world was gone, it was only the two of them, and everything was right.

        Ashley didn’t know how far they’d gone, or how much time had passed, but it must have been a while, when Aaron took an exit.  They pulled into a gas station, and then Aaron hesitated, turning off the car slowly.  “Uh, Ashley?”

        “What?” Ashley asked, stretching slightly.

        “You know how to pump gas, right?”

        Priceless.  Priceless!  Ashley couldn’t stop laughing.  It was too funny and too ridiculous.  Aaron had a Mercedes, but didn’t know how to pump gas.

        “Fine,” Aaron said, unbuckling his seatbelt.  “You sit here and giggle like an idiot, and I’ll go figure it out.”

        “No, no, I’m good, I’m sorry,” Ashley said, trying to calm himself.  “I’m sorry, I’ll show you.  Come on.”  He snickered some more as he got out of the car.  “Here.  It’s really easy.  Take off the gas cap.  Go to this little computer thing, and do whatever it says.  Come here.”

        Aaron stepped around in front of him and read the scrolling instructions.  “Okay,” he said, and got out his wallet.

        “You can’t pump gas, but you have a credit card?”

        “It’s not like I ever use it.  It’s for emergencies.  It’s not even mine, it’s Nick’s.”

        “Nick gave you his credit card?”

        “Sure.  I’m not going to do anything with it.”  Aaron narrowed his eyes, figured out the right way to hold it, and slid it into the slot.  “Now what?” he asked, pulling it out again.  “Receipt, yes, no?”

        “Push no,” Ashley said.  “Now, what kind of gas do you want?”

        “Uh…the good kind?” Aaron asked.

        “I can’t believe you’ve never done this.  I had to pump gas for my parents all of the time.  Depending on your car and your budget, you pick your gas.  Good car, good budget, you want premium.  You pick up the hose for the one you want, stick the nozzle in here, and flip this thing.  Gotta flip the thing.  Then, see, usually you can latch this.”

        “Latch what?”

        “This little thing here.  It sticks in the grove and holds the handle for you, so you don’t have to stand here and hold it.”

        “Why can’t you stand there and hold it?”

        “It’s not always that clean, for one thing.”

        “Oh.”

        “Then you wait.”

        “Okay.”

        “Having fun yet?” Ashley teased.

        “Oh, yeah, tons,” Aaron said, and it looked like he really was.  He looked around, taking in everything.  “I wonder what else I don’t know how to do.”

        “Dishwasher?  Washer?  Dryer?”

        “I think so,” Aaron said.  “Dishwasher and dryer, yeah.  The washing machine, I never know when to use hot or cold water and when to add fabric softener, so sometimes it comes out a little wrong.  Not a lot wrong, just a little.”

        “Can you cook?”

        “Not a lot, but pancakes.  Anything with instructions on the side of the package.  Not anything that’s, like, out of a cookbook with recipes and a million ingredients and a lot of dicing stuff.”

        The gas tank was full, and the hose clicked off.  Ashley set the hose back on its hook and screwed on the gas cap again.  “That’s it.  Full tank of gas.”

        “Easy,” Aaron said.  “So you grew up like a normal guy, right?”

        “Yeah,” Ashley said, as they got back in the car.  “I did everything everybody else does.  Then, instead of going to college, I joined O-Town.”

        Aaron concentrated on driving for a minute as they got out of the gas station.  Instead of going back towards the highway, he went farther down the road.  “Things are really changing.  The pop world, I mean.  I never thought I’d ever see the day…  Nick doesn’t know if he even has a career anymore.  Nick!  And me, I’m okay for now, but next year?  Who knows?”

        “I don’t know.  Christina, Justin, they’re kicking ass.  Britney’s back, *NSYNC’s planning on coming back, and you know they have nothing to worry about.  I think, for you, if you’re good today, then you have a long career ahead of you.”

        “Maybe.”

        Ashley watched the road.

        Aaron pulled to the side of the road, stopping the car.  He cut the engine.  No headlights.  No radio.  Darkness, and silence, and the two of them.

        Ashley took off his seatbelt.

        “Do you know what you’re going to do?” Aaron asked quietly.

        He felt Aaron’s gaze on him, but he didn’t want to return it.  “No.  We’ve been talking about it.  Fighting over it.  Do we give up, do we keep trying, do we break up and go solo?  Maybe we had it too easy in the beginning, maybe we need to scrap it all and start over like a new band, putting out that effort, paying our dues.  Maybe we were doomed from the start, and we can’t overcome it.  And solo, how can, hell, if Nick Carter can’t do it, how the hell can one of us even try?”

        “You can do whatever you want to do,” Aaron said.

        “Aaron…”  Ashley shut his mouth.  That wasn’t fair.

        “You can yell at me,” Aaron said.  “If it would make you feel better.”

        “It would make me feel worse, long-term,” Ashley said.  “It’s not your fault, I’m just frustrated.  And a little scared.  Sometimes I wish I’d never gone to that audition.  It’s like the five of us, we thought we were going to do it, we almost had it, we got so close, so damned close.  And then, now, it’s like we’re a joke, and even if we decide to keep going and try again, we have no backing.  No fans.  Nothing.”

        “Starting from nothing is what makes a legitimate group,” Aaron said.  “It’s when you don’t start from nothing that everyone thinks you’re a fake and a joke.  We both know that.”

        “Yeah.  And I think Jacob would love it if we had to live in a crowded apartment, working part-time jobs, sleeping on a mattress on the floor.  He goes in for that ‘real musician’ shit.”

        “You think you’d like being a starving artist?”

        “Might be worth trying.”

        “Yeah.”

        Silence.

        Ashley looked up at the sky.

        “Ashley?”

        “Yeah?” he asked absently.

        A touch at his temple, fingers circling back behind his earlobe.  Ashley turned his head.  Knuckles sliding along his cheek, the chill of a ring.  Aaron had never touched him before, not really touched him to be touching him.

        Well, shit.

        Aaron started leaning closer, his thumb brushing the edge of Ashley’s mouth.

        “Aaron,” Ashley said.

        Aaron jerked back.  “Fuck.”

        “No, no,” Ashley said.  “Whatever you were wanting just then, I want it, too.  I do.  I’ve been wanting it for a while.  But we can’t.”

        “You, if you’re, you want to?” Aaron asked.

        “Yes,” Ashley said.

        “You can,” Aaron said.

        “No, I can’t.”

        “You can,” Aaron said again.  “I want to.”

        “We can’t,” Ashley said.  He wasn’t sure what Aaron thought they were talking about, but it didn’t matter all that much, since almost everything was out of the question.

        “Why not?” Aaron asked.  “I’m old enough.”

        “You’re not eighteen.”

        “Sixteen-year-olds have sex.”

        “With other sixteen-year-olds, not with adults.”

        “You’re not that mature.”

        Ashley laughed.

        “We can’t do anything,” Aaron said.  “Anything.  Anything?!”

        “We can kiss,” Ashley said.

        “Okay,” Aaron said, and started moving in.

        “Ah, no, not here,” Ashley said, one hand on Aaron’s chest to hold him at bay.

        “No one’s looking,” Aaron said.

        “Maybe at the penthouse.”

        “You should have told me!”  Aaron started the car.  “Put your seatbelt on.  I’m going to speed.”

        “Maybe I should drive.”

        “Let me kiss you and I’ll let you drive.”

        “Aaron, I’m freezing.  You’re freezing.  And when we kiss, I want to look at you, and it’s so dark I can’t even see you.  Let’s go back to the penthouse and talk about it.”

        “Talk?” Aaron asked.  “If all we’re going to do is talk, you can drive.  Wait, you want to look at me?  What for?”

        “Because you’re very pretty, and I want to see what you look like before you kiss.  And after you kiss.  It has to be spectacular.”

        Laughter.  “You really like me, don’t you?”

        “Just wait until I tell you how much.”

        “Oh, this is going to be so good,” Aaron said.  “Okay, you can drive, for real.  Let’s go.”

        “Do you understand why we shouldn’t get involved?” Ashley asked.

        “You’re six years older.”

        “Right.”

        “How old was Aaliyah when she married R. Kelly?”

        “Aaron, R. Kelly is a pedophile.”

        “You’re not,” Aaron said.

        “To be honest, I’m kind of worried that I am,” Ashley said.

        “Ashley, I know pedophiles.  The obvious, creepy ones and the not-so-obvious ones.  I’ve dealt with them.  Are you turned on by little kids?”

        “No.”

        “Do you have sexual thoughts about messing with kids besides me?”

        “No, it’s just you.  That doesn’t make it right.”

        “You’re twenty-two, not thirty.  I’m sixteen, not twelve.  And you’re guilt-tripping over it, or something, which I guess is good, because it means you have morals.  You didn’t try to come after me right away.  You tried to stay away, even.”

        “I should have tried harder.”

        “Oh, whatever.  You want to get with another guy.  You’re not killing anybody.”

        “You’re not taking this seriously enough.  I’m the adult, and I know better.”

        “Then leave me alone,” Aaron said.

        “I can’t,” Ashley said.  “I don’t even want to.”

        “Then get over it and kiss me.”

        “Can we kiss tomorrow?”

        “Tonight and tomorrow?  Sure.”

        “Not tonight.”

        “Why not?  You’re getting ridiculous.”

        “We had a good day.  We had a good night.  I really liked tonight.”

        “Me, too.”  There was that mischievous smile.  “Kissing would make it even better.”

        “Tomorrow.”

        “Early tomorrow.”

        “Maybe.”

        “Let’s make a deal.”

        “What deal?” Ashley asked, suspicious.

        “I’ll let it go, and you can decide when to kiss me tomorrow, and I won’t even bug you about it.”

        “If?”

        “If you sleep here tonight, with me.”

        “We can’t share a bed.”

        “We don’t have to be naked.  We don’t have to be touching.  There’s lots of room.  We slept together before.”

        “Clothes on?”

        “On.”

        “No touching?”

        “None.”

        “You’ll leave me alone about the kissing thing?”

        “Won’t even bring it up.”

        Ashley considered it.

        Aaron dropped to the mattress and wriggled onto his back, butting the top of his head against Ashley’s thigh, tilting his head and arching his back, looking up at Ashley upside-down, begging with his eyes.  “Please?  Please, Ashley?  Ashley, please?”

        Ashley ruffled Aaron’s hair.  “Okay.  Just tonight.”

        Aaron grinned.  “Thank you, Ashley.”

        Ashley got up; Aaron bounded off of the bed, too.  They pulled down the covers and got in, tucking comfortably.  Aaron was smiling; Ashley smiled back.

        “You wouldn’t mind a little touching, would you?” Aaron asked.

        “Yes, I would,” Ashley said.  “Roll over.  Put your back to me.”

        “Hey, no,” Aaron said.  “That’s not fair.”

        “Go on, roll over.”

        “Like I’m a dog or something,” Aaron muttered, and turned his back to Ashley.  “The second you fall asleep, I’m rolling back over to look at you some more.”

        “Once I’m asleep, I can’t stop you, but until then, we’re doing it my way,” Ashley said.

        Aaron grumbled to himself, but he still sounded happy.

        Ashley turned onto his side, his back to Aaron.

        “Good night,” Aaron said.

        “Good night,” Ashley said.

        “Are you asleep yet?”

        “No.”

        “Hurry up.”

        Ashley fell asleep with a smile on his face.

        “Jesus Christ!”  Ashley yanked his shirt back down, jerking back, almost falling over the edge of the bed.

        Aaron sat back.  “Hi.”

        “Jesus.”  Ashley took a moment to calm his racing heart.  “What were you doing?”

        “Just looking,” Aaron said.

         “At what?!”

        “God, I didn’t snatch your pants down,” Aaron said.

        “Aaron.  I told you, there are boundaries.  You can’t…  You can’t do things.”

        “If anyone turning on ABC could watch you in the shower, why can’t I see skin?”

        “I know it doesn’t seem like a big deal, and normally it wouldn’t be, but with this thing between us, that changes things.  We’re attracted to each other, so everything we do has a different connotation.”

        “Yeah.  I know.”

        “What were you looking at?  Looking for?”

        “I don’t know.  I  was just curious.  You have a good body.”

        “Thanks.”

        “I didn’t touch anything.  Except your shirt.”

        “I’m sorry I freaked.”

        “Yeah.  Sorry I tried to sneak a peek.  So.  What do you want to do today?” Aaron asked brightly.

        Ashley grinned, knowing what Aaron wanted to do.  “You order something for breakfast.  I’m going to take a shower.”

        “What do you want to do after that?” Aaron asked.

        “Why don’t we just see what happens?” Ashley asked.

        Aaron gave him a dark look.

        Ashley pinched Aaron’s cheek and got out of bed.  “Breakfast,” he reminded Aaron as he left the room.

        “I’m calling you filthy names behind your back!” Aaron shouted after him.

        Ashley stretched out on the couch, pretending to watch TV, having vague, erotic daydreams.  After a while, Aaron came over and sat in front of him, on the floor, leaning back against the couch.  Ashley ran his hand through Aaron’s soft hair.  He closed his eyes, slipping back into his fantasies, twisting longer strands between his fingers.

        When they were finished eating, Aaron jumped up and brushed his teeth.  He’d been very good about not mentioning their upcoming kiss, but clearly, it was on his mind.

        “Since you’re wearing it, I figured you liked it,” Ashley said.

        “It’s awesome,” Aaron said.  “Thank you.”

        “You’re welcome.  It looks great.”

        “It looks expensive,” Aaron said.  “Was it?”

        Ashley hesitated.  “Yeah.”

        “Oh,” Aaron said.  “Oh.  You didn’t have to.  You could have brought me a birthday card or something.”  He looked concerned.

        “No, I wanted to give you something I wanted you to have,” Ashley said.  “If that makes sense.  I want you to have this stuff, so I got it for you.”

        “Thank you,” Aaron said.

        “Does your mother know I’m here?”

        “Yeah.”

        “And she’s okay with that?”

        “She thinks we’re just friends.  We are friends.  She just doesn’t know all of the stuff Nick knows.  Nick told her it’s okay, you being here, and she knew we were hanging out on the tour.”  Aaron twisted the ring on his thumb.  “Does your mom know you’re here?”

        “Uh, no.”

        “Does she know you’re gay?”

        “Yeah.  She’s good about it.  She’s worried, but she’s trying to be supportive.”

        “What about your dad?”

        “He, he wishes I were straight.  He wants me to be straight, and tough, and manly, and all of those butch masculine stereotypes.  I don’t want to let him down, but I can’t be something I’m not.”

        “It’s rough.  Other people pushing you and pulling on you, wanting you to be this or that.  It’s like even when you are what they want you to be, you don’t know if it’s because that’s what you really are, or if you’re just that way for them.”

        “You must go through a lot of that.”

        “Yeah.  Everybody who’s been through it, the Backstreet Boys and *NSYNC and everybody, they’ve told me to be myself, that it’s the most important thing, but I’m not always sure who that is.”

        “That’s normal.  Especially growing up.”

        “Yeah, I guess.”

        “How do you know you’re gay?”

        “The same way everybody else does.  I like guys.”

        “You’re young.  How can you be sure?”

        “I just know.  I like guys.  Girls are nice, but I don’t want them for anything.  When I talk to girls, they’re okay, but they’re just people.  When I talk to guys, like you, I feel things.  Mostly good things.”

        “What kinds of guys do you like?”

        “I don’t know.  I’ve never had a crush on someone I was even close to having a chance with before.  It was always someone like AJ, or Justin Timberlake.  I think I had a crush on everybody in *NSYNC, right after the other.  And there was a make-up guy I liked.  But it was never anybody who really…  I mean, for AJ, I’m just Nick’s kid brother, so he only took me seriously to a point, and I get that.  For the guys from *NSYNC, I’m cool and all, but…  You’re the first one who’s ever looked at me like an equal, like I’m a real person and not a little kid.”

        “Are you telling me I might have lost you to Justin Timberlake?”

        “Yep.  Feeling pretty lucky, aren’t you?”

        “Am I still in danger of that?  If he comes knocking, will you run off with him?”

        “Mmm…”  Aaron thought about it.  “No, I’ll stick with you.  You’re hotter.”

        Ashley laughed.  “You’re going to face a lot of disagreement over that one.”

        “Are you kidding?  You’re totally hot.”

        “Hotter than Justin Timberlake?”

        “Totally.  Totally.”

        “Hotter than Nick?”

        Aaron snorted.  “I’m hotter than Nick.”

        Ashley laughed.

        “No, I’m kidding,” Aaron said.  “But you’re totally hotter than Nick.  I’m going to have a lot of trouble finding someone you’re not hotter than.  You look, you’re incredible.  It’s kind of hard not to stare.”

        “Well, you’re doing a great job.”

        “Yeah, I’m working on it.”  Aaron grinned.

        “It’s only ten o’clock.”

        “Yeah, well, I need my sleep.”

        “You never go to bed this early, even when you’re supposed to.”

        “I am tonight.”

        “You’re just trying to get me to kiss you.”

        “Did I say that?  Did the word ‘kiss’ come out of my mouth?  No, I was very good all day.”

        “That’s true.  All right.”  Ashley got up.  “Sit on the couch.”

        Aaron sat.

        Ashley walked through the penthouse, turning off lights until the whole place was dark, except for the soft glow from the lamp by the sofa.  “I’m sleeping out here tonight.”

        “No, that’s not-”

        Ashley put his hand up, a silencing gesture, not touching Aaron’s lips but making his point.

        Aaron fell silent.

        “Lean back,” Ashley said softly, and knelt astride Aaron’s hips, sitting back on Aaron’s thighs.

        Breathing a soft “oh god,” Aaron did as instructed, leaning back, his head over the top edge of the sofa, his face tilted up, lit by the glow from the lamp.

        “Let me look at you before I kiss you,” Ashley said, and ran his thumb down Aaron’s cheekbone.  Aaron’s lashes fluttered shut briefly at that first touch, then lifted.  Ashley slid the backs of his fingers up to Aaron’s temple, then down along Aaron’s jaw.  Soft, smooth skin, flawless in the light, no scars, no wrinkles, just unblemished beauty.

        Aaron’s eyes were open, looking up at him, but Ashley’s gaze followed his touch.  He ran the pad of his thumb along the side of Aaron’s nose, then around the corner of Aaron’s mouth, careful not to brush Aaron’s lips.  He’d get there soon enough.  He stroked the underside of Aaron’s jaw, and Aaron’s head tilted back, an instinctual request for more.

        Ashley ran his fingers up and down Aaron’s neck.  It was long, the perfect place for a collar, the perfect spot for kissing.  Ashley’s thumbs slid out along Aaron’s collarbone, then back in to center.  Aaron’s eyes were closed, and Ashley stroked Aaron’s eyebrows, ruffled them in the wrong direction before smoothing them down again.  He lightly, carefully, touched Aaron’s dark lashes, and listened to Aaron breathe faster.

        “Sit on your hands if you have to,” Ashley whispered, and stroked Aaron’s cheekbones again.

        Aaron put his hands behind his back.

        Ashley leaned in on Aaron’s right side, scenting Aaron’s hair, one finger tracing the shell of Aaron’s ear.  He brought his other hand up and gently removed Aaron’s diamond stud earring, setting it aside.  He touched Aaron’s earlobe, soft flesh, sensitive skin.

        Aaron sucked in breath.  “Ashley-”

        “Ssshhh,” Ashley whispered, and stroked behind Aaron’s earlobe.  Aaron shivered but was silent.  Ashley sat back again, and lightly pressed his thumb to Aaron’s soft, soft lips.  Aaron’s lips parted, his mouth opening slightly on a shivering sigh.  Ashley ran his fingers over Aaron’s lower lip, soft pink flesh, then traced the lines of Aaron’s upper lip.  He wanted to taste Aaron’s mouth, to feel its softness against his own.

        Aaron’s eyes were still closed.  Ashley kept his own eyes open, watching, watching, as he leaned in and pressed the softest of kisses to the corner of Aaron’s mouth.  He saw Aaron’s eyes open, felt Aaron exhale quickly against his lips.  Then he lowered his head and kissed Aaron’s neck.

        Aaron twisted, so Ashley left another kiss on the other side.  Aaron twisted again, and Ashley kissed the corner of his jaw just beneath his ear.  Aaron was excited, panting, eyes opening and closing, not sure what to do, not knowing what was coming next.

        Ashley kissed Aaron’s temple.  No licking, no sucking, not tonight.  Just kissing.  Short, soft kisses, a slow wet touch of love on Aaron’s skin.  Ashley kissed just to the side of his chin, then directly on his cheek.  One kiss to Aaron’s left eyebrow.  One kiss on his nose.  One kiss on his earlobe.

        The quietest of needy sounds vibrated up from Aaron’s throat, and the look in his eyes was tortured.  Ashley wanted to lick him.

        One soft kiss to Aaron’s bottom lip.

        Aaron made a strangled, desperate sound.

        One soft kiss to Aaron’s mouth.  He inhaled Aaron’s shocked exhalation, then stole the rest of Aaron’s breath with another kiss.  No touching, no tongues, just his lips against Aaron’s, as they learned to fit together.  Ashley opened his eyes to check; Aaron’s eyes were closed, dark lashes resting on his cheek.  Ashley closed his eyes again and gave Aaron a little more of his kiss.  Aaron’s lips were soft, and gentle, and giving.

        Ashley sat back and watched.

        Aaron breathed in quick pants.  He didn’t move for a moment.  Then his pink tongue flicked over his pink lips.  His mouth closed.  He was still panting.  His eyes opened, immediately settling on Ashley’s mouth.

        Ashley’s blood pulsed heavily in his dick.

        Aaron licked his lips again, still staring.

        Ashley ducked in to press one last kiss to Aaron’s neck, then lifted himself off of Aaron, stepping back into the shadows.  “Go to bed.”

        Aaron touched his earlobe, rising.  He walked backwards across the room, gaze seeking out Ashley in the darkness.  Then he turned and left.  The bedroom door closed.

        Ashley sank to his knees, resting his face on his forearm against the nearest armchair.

        His dick ached for attention.

        He licked his lips, already missing Aaron’s taste.

        How long did he think he’d be able to hold back?  How long did he truly think it would be before he started testing the boundaries, pushing the limits?  He’d relax the rules, slip a little here, slip a little there, no big deal, and he’d end up doing too much too soon just because his libido wanted it.

        That wasn’t fair to Aaron.  It was up to him to establish boundaries and maintain them.  He couldn’t afford to give in to his body’s demands.

        For Aaron, he could hold back.  For Aaron, he could wait.

        Ashley didn’t look at himself in the mirror a lot.  He knew that people found him attractive, and objectively he could see why they thought so.  But he didn’t want anyone to think he was an egomaniac or anything, so he didn’t spend too much time in front of the mirror.

        That morning, he looked.  He looked carefully.  Especially into his eyes.  Then at his mouth.

        Last night, when he’d been planting kisses on Aaron’s sweet skin, and Aaron had looked at him, this was what Aaron had seen.

        He remembered Aaron’s flushed skin, the slight flare of Aaron’s nostrils, the agonized plea in Aaron’s eyes.  Aaron had wanted him.

        Ashley would be lucky if he survived the rest of the week.

        “It’s a real diamond,” Aaron said.  “Birthday present.”

        Ashley managed to hand it back to him without touching him.

        “I’m going to take a shower,” Aaron said.

        “Okay,” Ashley said.

        When Nick called, Aaron took the phone into the bedroom.

        Aaron sat on the bed, too.

        “How was your first kiss?” Ashley asked.

        “Good.  Great.  I didn’t know it was going to be like that.”

        “Like what?”

        “That good.”

        Ashley smiled.  “You liked it?”

        “It was incredible.  Can I ask you a question?”

        “Yeah, anything,” Ashley said.

        “How many other guys have you been with?”

        “Been with?  None.”

        “You’ve kissed guys?”

        “One.  Jacob.  That was early, that was before Dan ever showed up.  I’ve been with girls, women, but I’ve never been with a guy.”

        “Do you always…do what you did last night?”

        “What, all of that?  No.  You’re different.  You’re special.”

        “Can I touch you?” Aaron asked.

        “Um…  Yeah.  Yeah, as long as you don’t start touching anything extra.”

        “Can you…?”

        Ashley lay on his back, one hand behind his head, other hand on his stomach, one knee up.  He watched Aaron slide closer, watched Aaron’s eyes move over his face.

        “You have the most incredible, what is it, bone structure,” Aaron said.  “You look perfect.  Nobody looks perfect.”  Aaron’s hand cupped his jaw, and Ashley’s eyes closed.  “It’s like you’re beautiful.  I thought that was a girl thing, but you’re beautiful.”  Gentle fingers feathered past Ashley’s temple.  Ashley inhaled slowly, forcing himself to hold still as Aaron stroked his face.  “I don’t know how people can stand to look at you,” Aaron said, and passed a thumb over his lips.  “I don’t,” and then there was the gentle pressure of Aaron’s mouth on his, and Ashley’s lips parted, and Ashley’s hand came up to cup the back of Aaron’s head.  Aaron’s hair was soft, and Aaron’s mouth was softer, and when Ashley touched his tongue to Aaron’s, Aaron made a surprised, urgent noise.

        Ashley stroked Aaron’s tongue, teasing it to his mouth.  Aaron kissed him harder, and he felt Aaron’s hand on his upper arm, tight on his bicep, then pulling at the cotton of his shirt.  Ashley angled his head slightly and slid his tongue to Aaron’s mouth, tasting, exploring.  So soft, and wet, and eager, and Aaron was lying half on Ashley’s chest now, and Ashley ran his hand down Aaron’s back.

        Ashley’s dick was thick and hard inside his jeans, and it was sheer force of will that kept Ashley’s hand behind his head.  He knew if he had both hands free, he’d roll Aaron over, and the second he got on top, they’d both be in trouble.  Aaron was already becoming more aggressive, trying to take over Ashley’s mouth, crawling farther onto Ashley’s body.

        Ashley broke the kiss, dragging breath into his lungs, putting up his hand.

        Aaron kissed the side of Ashley’s neck, applying wet suction, and Ashley cursed, closing his eyes.  Greedy licking, the quick sting of teeth, and either Aaron didn’t know how to keep his teeth out of the way, or that had been done on purpose, and Ashley didn’t dare ask.  Aaron found a new patch of flesh, and, “God,” and Ashley couldn’t take this, they couldn’t do this, “Aaron, Aaron, stop, god, stop.”

        Aaron raised his head and kissed Ashley’s mouth again.

        “Mmm - - no, no, Aaron.”  Ashley pushed at Aaron’s shoulder until Aaron stopped.  “We can’t do this.”

        “I want to,” Aaron said, putting one knee on the mattress in the space between Ashley’s legs, his thigh over Ashley’s thigh, dangerously close to-

        “We can’t do this,” Ashley said, trying to sound firm, only managing to sound desperate.  “Aaron, you don’t even know what I want from you.”

        “I know what I want,” Aaron said.  “I think you want what I want.”

        “You don’t-”

        “I’m not stupid,” Aaron said.

        “I didn’t say that,” Ashley said.  “I know you’re not stupid.  But you’re young, and you’ve never done this.”

        “I know what guys do together,” Aaron said.

        “Do you?” Ashley asked, honestly wanting to know.  He wanted to be sure Aaron knew what they were talking about.

        “Nick told me.”

        “Nick?” Ashley asked.  “Isn’t Nick straight?”

        Aaron leaned in close to Ashley’s ear, his lips brushing Ashley’s cheek on the way, so close Ashley’s eyes closed.  “I know what guys do together.  I want to do what guys do together.  I want to do it with you.”

        “Aaron,” Ashley said, his heart pounding out a warning, careening headfirst into danger, wanting to make it stop.

        Aaron licked his ear.  “I know what I want.  Tell me what you want,” Aaron whispered.  “Do you want me to suck your dick?  Do you want to fuck me?”

        Ashley reached out, grabbing Aaron’s wrists, rolling and pinning, trapping Aaron beneath him.  He caught a bright flash of arousal in Aaron’s eyes.  “That is not funny!  This is not a game!  I don’t care how mature you are, you are sixteen years old!”

        Aaron cut him off before he could get going.  “Fuck you!  It’s not supposed to be funny, I know it’s not a game!  I’m tired of this bullshit!  I’m not going to apologize to you for being sixteen!  I’m old enough to know what I want and I’m old enough to make my own decisions!  If they put sixteen-year-olds behind the wheel of a car then they can put me on your dick, damn it!”

        “Jesus,” Ashley said, holding him down.  “Jesus, Aaron, baby, calm down.  Calm down.” He leaned forward, closing his eyes, his cheek against Aaron’s, listening to Aaron’s ragged breaths.  “Shit, shit, Aaron.  Listen to me.  I know your body wants things.  I know your hormones are working overtime.  I want things, too.  I want you and I want sex.  But we can’t right now.  We can’t.  You have to help me.  I want things, things I’m used to having, things I can’t have right now with you.  It would be so easy to give in.  But I want to do right by you.  I need your help.”

        “You’re wrong,” Aaron said, his voice tense.

        “I’m right,” Ashley said softly.

        “I don’t care.”

        “I do.”

        “It’s my body, isn’t it?  It’s my life.”

        “You’re not entirely in control of your life right now.  Not until you’re eighteen.”

        “I’m never in control of anything!  Everyone else decides everything that happens to me!  What I do, where I go, I can’t even pick out my own clothes!”

        “I know, baby, I know.”

        “Fuck you,” Aaron said.  “Fuck you and fuck them.”

        Ashley absorbed the impact of Aaron’s frustration.

        “I want you,” Aaron said.  “I want you.”

        Ashley relaxed his grip halfway, moving his legs, keeping his cheek against Aaron’s, holding Aaron in place with love, not force.

        “I want you,” Aaron said again, sounding angry and broken.  “I want to have you for my own, I want you to be mine and only mine.  I have all of this stuff, but that’s all it is, stuff, it doesn’t mean anything, I could have another ten pairs of sneakers and it wouldn’t matter.  My career, that’s mine, right, that’s all me, but it’s not, it’s not mine, it’s managers and producers and lawyers and agents.  Do this, go there, sing that, here’s when you dance, here’s when you smile.  Remember to mention Nick, don’t fidget too much, fix your hair, don’t talk about Nick too much, flirt with the girls, remember to smile, don’t curse, don’t fidget, remember to smile, remember to smile, remember to smile, just be yourself and have a good time.  They’re running my life and I don’t have anything that’s mine and I want you to be mine.  If I could have one thing in the world all to myself I’d want it to be you.  And you won’t let me have you!”

        “Ssshhh, Aaron, no,” Ashley said, raising his head, looking into Aaron’s face.  “You can have me.  I’m yours.  I want to be yours.  Sex won’t change that.”

        “It will,” Aaron said.

        “It will, someday,” Ashley said.  “It’ll bring us closer, but we can be together without it.”

        “You’re the only thing I have that they can’t control, and you’re letting them control you,” Aaron said.

        “No,” Ashley said.  “It’s not for them, it’s for you and me.  You know that.  You know I’m right.  Aaron, look at me.”

        Aaron stubbornly glared into Ashley’s eyes.  His nostrils flared.  He looked pissed off and unwilling to cooperate.  It wasn’t a look Ashley was used to seeing on Aaron’s face.

        Ashley put his hand to Aaron’s forehead, brushing back Aaron’s bangs.  “Aaron.  I want to be yours.  I want that.  And I want you.  But we can’t have sex right now.  You being sixteen isn’t the problem.  The problem is me being twenty-two.  I can’t give you everything you want right now.  Someday, I will.  Can you wait for that?”

        “Let me up,” Aaron said, scowling.

        Ashley backed away, sitting up, watching carefully.

        Aaron sat up and scratched his head, frowning at nothing.  “Sorry I’m acting like such a…”

        “It’s okay,” Ashley said.

        “No, it’s not.”  He flopped onto his back and sighed loudly.  “I know you’re right.  It’s not me, it’s not you, it’s you and me.  And me acting like a spoiled brat wannabe diva jackass asshole isn’t helping.”

        Ashley laughed.  “You’re not acting like that.”

        “It’s really stupid of me to say I’m mature enough to have sex, when I’m throwing a little kid tempter tantrum.”  Aaron sat up again.  “You’re sure you still want to stick with me?”

        Ashley smiled.  “Yeah.”

        “Okay.  What are we figuring out here?  We can’t do mature adult things until I’m older.  How much older?”

        “Eighteen.”

        “Two years.  I can’t wait two years.”

        “Maybe when you turn seventeen we can…widen our repertoire.”

        Aaron grinned.  “When do I get to see you naked?”

        “When you’re thirty.”

        “You’re funny,” Aaron said.  “Can I just ask, so we’re clear, I mean, I know I want you, it’s pretty obvious why, just based on the way you look alone.  But do you really want me?”

        “Yes,” Ashley said.  “Oh, yes.”

        Aaron laughed.

        “Oh, yes,” Ashley said again.

        “Okay, I got it,” Aaron said.  He twisted one of Ashley’s rings on his finger.  “This is going to be really hard, isn’t it?  Not doing stuff.  Keeping our hands off of each other.”

        “It’s not easy,” Ashley said.  “I think it’s going to get worse.”

        “Oh, great,” Aaron said.  “I’m going to be like the king of masturbation.”

        It took a few seconds for Ashley’s brain to restart after that one.

        “I’ve never seen you cry.”

        “I’ve never seen you cry, either,” Aaron pointed out, and started brushing his teeth.

        “I wish you could cry on command.”

        “Freak.  Why?” Aaron asked around his toothbrush.

        “I want to see you cry, but I don’t want to have to upset you to do it.”

        “Freak,” Aaron said again, and spat toothpaste into the sink.  “I figured out early that if you cry for one thing in this business, you cry for all of them.  A lot of things don’t go your way, a lot of things get you upset, you’re frustrated, you’re scared, whatever.  I didn’t want to be crying all of the time, so I stopped.”

        Ashley watched him brush his teeth.

        “Stop staring.”

        “I want to watch you do things, so when I can’t see you every day anymore, I’ll remember what it was like.  This is Aaron brushing his teeth.  This is Aaron eating breakfast.”

        “This is Aaron telling you to get a grip.”  Aaron spat again and rinsed his mouth.

        “Come here.”

        Aaron stepped directly in front of Ashley, wearing his “you’re nuts but I’m pretending to tolerate it” half-blank, half-amused expression.

        “Let me see.”

        “Okay.”  Aaron’s hands went to his fly.

        “Not that!  God, put it away.  Your teeth.”

        “My teeth?”

        “Come on,” Ashley said, waiting.

        Aaron bared his teeth.

        Ashley looked.

        Aaron’s fingers started walking up Ashley’s chest.

        Ashley batted Aaron’s hand away and looked some more.  “Why don’t you like your teeth?”

        “They’re small and crooked.”

        “They’re not crooked.”

        “I wish I had Nick’s teeth.”

        “If you had Nick’s teeth, you’d have Nick’s smile, and you wouldn’t have your smile.”

        “And that’s a good thing?” Aaron asked.

        “Yes.”

        “What’s next, you want to watch me tie my shoes?”

        “Sure.”

        “Freak,” Aaron said emphatically, walking out of the bathroom.

        Ashley hesitated.  He didn’t want to lie, but he didn’t want to be rude.  “They don’t know you.”

        “Let’s try this again,” Aaron said.  “The other guys in O-Town don’t like me, do they?”

        “Dan does,” Ashley said.  “Trevor wants to get to know you.  Erik, Erik just likes to be stupid.”

        “And Jacob?”

        “Jacob can be pretentious.  I love him, but he has his own issues about the industry, and they affect what he thinks of other people.”

        “I guess I’m not a starving artist playing my own instruments.”

        “You’re also more successful than he is.”

        “You know, my future’s not guaranteed, either.”

        “You’re doing pretty well so far.”

        “Justin Timberlake’s doing pretty well so far.  I know I just had this huge birthday party, but it might be my last big blowout before bye-bye Aaron.  It’s not even…  For the other guys, it’s different.  It’s like their choice.  Kevin’s old, he’s married, he still loves it all, but maybe it’s time for him to do something different.  Me, it’s not my choice.  I’m not ready to go yet, but I don’t know if that matters.”

        “You’re the little prince of pop.”

        “Ashley, my mother gave me that title.”

        “You’re still working.  Hell, you’re still selling out shows!”

        “I know.  I just…  I don’t know.  Earthquake didn’t do as well as it was supposed to.”

        “I think we all have unrealistic expectations.  Our perspective is totally off.  If we were working in any other genre, if we were anybody but who we are, we’d be doing incredibly well.  You’ve had phenomenal success.  But we’re in pop, we’re measuring ourselves against the Backstreet Boys and *NSYNC and Britney, and that’s throwing everything way out of whack.  I know you’re Baby Backstreet-”

        “Okay, shut up.”

        “-but it’s very rare that anyone does as well as they have.”

        “I know.  It’s just…”

        “I know.”

        “At first, it was like I was Nick’s baby brother, aw, isn’t that cute?  Like I was playing, it was fun, and nobody expected it to go any further.  Then it became this thing, it was for real, and now there’s all of this pressure.”

        “I know.”

        “Poor me, right?”

        “Aaron, you work your ass off.  You’re trying as hard as you can.”

        “I guess not hard enough.”

        “Aaron!  Perspective.  You’re a multi-platinum recording artist.  You.  You’ve had international fame and success.  You could quit tomorrow if you wanted to, and still be on the record books.  But if you don’t want to quit, if you want to keep doing it, then you’re going to find more success ahead of you.  You’re going to be a phenomenon for as long as you want to be one.  It’s up to you.  You decide when Aaron’s party is over.”

        “Are there any more corny songs you want to quote?”

        Ashley sighed.  “Aaron.  Oh, Aaron.  What are we going to do with you?”

        “That’s it!” Aaron exclaimed, getting to his feet.

        Ashley scrambled and ran.

        “You’d better run, punk!  You want to step to me?  We can take it to the asphalt!”

        Aaron pulled his hand away from his mouth.  “Just thinking.”

        “I noticed.  What about?”

        “Uh…for real?  Your nipples.”

        “Okay, next topic…”

        “Really?” Aaron asked, handing Ashley a soda.

        “Yeah.  I know it’s a huge cliché, but I’d really like to try it.  I’ve taken a couple of classes, nothing serious.”

        “Acting like movies?  Plays?  Broadway?”

        “Pretty much anything sounds good right now.”

        “I hope you’re good.  No, that sounded wrong, I mean, I know you’ll be good, that’s not what I meant.  I just meant, you look so good, they’ll probably give you a big role just so they can put your face on screen every two seconds, so I hope you’re good.  That still sounded wrong.  Never mind.”

        “I’ll take the compliment,” Ashley said.

        “I guess a TV show could be good.  A movie.  Theater stuff’s, I don’t know, I’m the ungrateful kid who was on Broadway and couldn’t stand it.”

        “You didn’t like being on Broadway?  It’s Broadway,” Ashley said.

        “Yeah, I know, but…  I don’t like doing the exact same thing over and over again, every show.  I like being able to change stuff up, do what I want to do.  Theater, you have to say the exact same line at the exact same time with the exact same inflection and the exact same movement, show after show, night after night.  When you’re performing, you can ad-lib stuff.  Stop and talk to the crowd for a minute.  Run around wherever you want.  Hit a different note if you feel like it.  You can’t do improv backflips in theater.”

        “I never thought about that,” Ashley said.

        “I know everybody loves the theater, and it’s a huge deal, the opportunity of a lifetime, to be on Broadway.  It’s just not my thing, I guess.  I have too much energy.”  He was surprised by a kiss on his cheek.  “What?  What?”

        “I like you,” Ashley said.

        “Because I’m an ungrateful brat?”

        “Because you’re you,” Ashley said, and kissed his other cheek.

        “No.”

        “No?” Ashley asked.

        “No.  You’ve been weird all day.  It’s like Adore Aaron Day.  I don’t want to know what you want me to do, but I’m not going to do it.”

        “I haven’t been weird all day.”

        “You watched me brush my teeth, you inspected my teeth, you stared at me all during lunch, you told me you want to see me cry, you-”

        “I’m soaking up as many experiences as I can.”

        “So what’s the new experience?”

        “I want to watch you flip.”

        “Flip out, mentally?  Or physically?”

        Ashley laughed.  “Physically.”

        “I don’t want to knock over anything.”

        “You’re a professional.  We can clear some space.”

        “Okay.  Whatever you want.  Just stand back so I don’t kick you in the head or anything.”  They made room off the foyer, and Ashley backed up.  Aaron took one second to look at the floor, nodding as though he heard a beat in his head, then went for it.

        Ashley stared.

        Several gymnastic feats later, Aaron was upright again, face flushed.

        “How the hell do you do three one-handed cartwheels in a row?” Ashley asked.

        “Practice?” Aaron guessed.  “They’re easy.”

        Ashley shook his head.  “You amaze me.”

        “Yeah.  Got any threes?”

        “Um…  Yeah, here.  Aaron.  Are you sure you got the right information?”

        “Maybe not.  Maybe you should show me how it works.”

        “When you’re older.  Got any fives?”

        “Go fish.”

        “I’m serious.”

        “So am I.  Go fish.”

        “I meant about Nick.”

        “What about him?”

        “Aaron.”

        “Ashley?”

        “Maybe you should talk to someone else.”

        “You’re worrying way too much, especially since we won’t be having sex for another two years.”  Aaron rearranged his cards.  “Besides, I think I know enough to wing it.”

        “You can’t wing it.  It’s important that you know what you’re getting into.”

        “Two years from now.”

        “I’m serious.”

        “Can we drop this?  If we don’t drop this, you’re going to keep pressing the issue, and I’m going to have to tell you that Nick might know what he’s talking about a little more than you think he does, and I can’t tell you that, so can we drop it?”

        Ashley stared.

        “Got any tens?”

        “Nick’s gay?”

        “That’s not dropping it,” Aaron said.

        “I’m sorry, I…”

        “He’s more like bi.  He’s mostly straight, he just has a little experience in the guys department.”

        “I can’t believe this.”

        “Nobody knows.  I mean, nobody.  Me and like four other people.  So, quiet.”

        “Wow.”

        “You’re really bad at dropping stuff, aren’t you?”

        “You don’t understand.  I mean, I…”

        “What?”

        “This is crazy.  I used to have a thing for Nick.  A really big thing for him.  If I’d heard about this before, it would have been huge, it would have rocked my world, I would’ve gone nuts.  But now, it’s so weird, it’s just another piece of information.”

        “I should pay attention to the part of that where you said it’s just another piece of information, and not care so much about the part where you used to have a huge thing for Nick, right?”

        “Right.  No, I don’t, that’s over.  I just didn’t realize how over it was until just now.”

        “Okay.  So I don’t have to worry about anything.”

        “No.  No, no.”

        “Okay.  You’re sure.”

        “Yes!  Trust me.”

        “He is your age.”

        “Aaron, I don’t want him.”

        “Good, because you can’t have him.”

        “Why not?”

        “You’re not his type.”

        Ashley mock glared.

        Aaron smirked.

        “That’s just fine,” Ashley said.  “I don’t want him anyway.  His eyes are the wrong color.”

        “Yeah, blue eyes suck,” Aaron said.

        “You’re not at all funny.”

        Aaron threw a card at Ashley.

        “You’re immature, too.”

        “So can I tell Nick you used to lust after him?”

        “Don’t you dare!”

        “What’ll you give me?”

        “A swift kick in the-”

        “Ah!”

        “Hey!”

        Aaron ran off, Ashley chasing him, cards flying.

        “I was just wondering if I want to call you AC.”

        “You can, if you want.”

        “Do you want me to?”

        “I like Aaron better, but it doesn’t really matter.  You’re still staring.”

        “Now I’m deciding where I want to kiss you.”

        “I can recommend some good spots, if you’re interested.”

        Ashley smiled.  “I’ll get back to you on that.  Is it AC for Aaron Carter, or AC for Aaron Charles?”

        “Aaron Carter.”

        Ashley liked Aaron’s neck.  It was so long…

        “Still staring,” Aaron said.

        “Dan’s coming for me.”

        “I hope your trip is dry, warm, and safe.”

        “Tell me about it.  What are you going to do?  Where are you going?”

        “Back to work,” Aaron said.  “I have Regis and a photo shoot on Monday, ‘The View’ and Seventeen and a webchat on Tuesday, something Wednesday…  There’s that Nickelodeon thing, and Tiger Beat, and-”

        “You’re exhausting me already.”

        “You know what it’s like,” Aaron said.  “When you’re not promoting your tour, you’re promoting your album, or your single, or your video, or yourself.  You have to stay in the public eye.  You can’t let them forget about you.”

        “Make sure you get your driver’s license at some point.”

        “I’ll work it into the schedule.”

        “You have to stop all of this kinky pinning me down stuff,” Aaron said.

        “I don’t trust you not to grab something important,” Ashley said.

        “I think you just get off on control.”

        “That, too.”  Ashley kissed him.

        The first fifteen seconds were controlled perfection.

        The next five minutes were barely controlled passion.

        Then Aaron was panting in Ashley’s ear, his fingers flexing in Ashley’s hands, as Ashley sucked on Aaron’s neck, one knee on the table, licking roughly over Aaron’s collarbone.

        A broken sound of tortured need made Ashley move for Aaron’s mouth.  Aaron kissed him back with demanding greed, stealing his breath, sleek tongue fucking his mouth with slick hunger.  Ashley fucked back, wanting to-

        Ashley broke away, sinking onto the couch to the left, breathing harshly, closing his eyes.  The sound of Aaron’s shuddering, panting breaths only heated his blood.

        They sat in near silence.

        “I don’t think that having you be in charge is working,” Aaron said.

        “I’m trying,” Ashley said.

        “I’m not complaining,” Aaron said.

        “Go to bed,” Ashley said.

        “Come with me?” Aaron invited.

        Ashley tossed a throw pillow at him without looking.  “Go to bed.”

        “What about you?” Aaron asked.

        “I’m going to take a freezing cold shower.  Then I’ll toss and turn out here on the couch for a while.  Then I’ll dump some ice cubes in my pants and see you in the morning.”

        He heard Aaron slide off of the table and move towards the bedroom.  “Good night,” Aaron said softly.

        “Good night,” Ashley said.

        Aaron Carter was going to be the death of him.

        Ashley had a bag by the door.

        He’d given Aaron his address, home phone number, cell phone number, and two e-mail addresses.

        He’d gotten Aaron to sing for him.

        The call came; Dan was downstairs.

        Ashley closed his eyes, wrapping his arms around Aaron, holding Aaron tightly in a full-body embrace.  “Call me.”

        “I will,” Aaron said.  “You call me, too.”

        “I’m going to miss you.”

        “Me, too.”

        “Happy birthday.”

        “Best ever.”

        Ashley moved back just enough to leave soft kisses on Aaron’s mouth.  “I’ll come see you.”

        Aaron kissed him in return, a kiss full of longing.  “Make it soon.”

        Ashley tried to soak Aaron up, tried to memorize every detail.  The line of his eyebrows, the curve of his jaw, the color of his lips, the soft-bright glow of his eyes.

        “Call me,” Aaron said.

        “I will,” he promised.  He couldn’t look away, he couldn’t walk away, but what choice did he have?  “Bye.”

        “Bye,” Aaron said.

        One last kiss, to Aaron’s cheek, a whispered “I love you,” and Ashley left.

        The elevator ride was just long enough for Ashley to start feeling nervous about that “I love you.”  Then he hit the lobby, and was greeted by Dan and, surprise, Nick.  He thanked Nick, whom he almost liked better than he ever had before, and said good-bye.  He put his bags in the trunk, and just as they were getting into the car, his cell phone rang.  He pulled it from his pocket.  “Hello?”

        “Punk.  I love you, too, you know, but when you run out like that, you don’t give me the chance to tell you.”

        “Oh.”

        “Yeah.  Do better next time.”

        Ashley grinned.  “Okay.”

        “Okay.  Tell Dan to drive safely this time.”

        “He will.”

        “Bye.”

        “Bye.”  Ashley hung up.

        “Good week?” Dan guessed, smiling at the huge, goofy grin Ashley couldn’t hide.

        Ashley stretched with satisfaction, feeling like he could run all the way home.  “Great week.”

I would title it "Danny Bonaduce," but Diamond would hate that, and when she doesn't like something, she won't let me forget it.  (Notable examples: the title of "Happy Birthday, MLK, Jr." and a non-RPS story called "Angel.")  Speaking of Diamond, you can thank her for making me take out the ominous Lou references in this story.

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