Copyright August 11-17, 2000 by Matthew Haldeman-Time

Rating: NC-17 for graphic male-male sex

Disclaimer: The young men who comprise 98 Degrees and the Backstreet Boys are their own people.  The author has not met anyone here described, nor does the author mean to suggest that these people act this way in real life.  This writing is a work of fiction.  I make no money from this venture.  (The above disclaimer applies to *NSYNC and Five as well.)

Dedication: This slashfic is for Ewan McGregor and the Savage Garden slashers.

Notice: Nick Lachey is Nick, and Nick Carter is Nick Carter, unless Nick Carter is the only Nick in the scene, at which point he's just Nick.

        "Let me in."

        "No."

        "You want to cause a scene in the hallway?"

        "I'm not causing a scene."

        Jeff rested one hand on the doorjamb for balance.

        "What are you doing?"

        "Taking off my shoes."

        "Why?"

        He tossed one right past Nick's hip into the room.

        "What are you doing?"

        He tossed the other one over Nick's shoulder.  Next went the socks.

        "Stop that!"

        He untucked his shirt.

        "Stop that!"  Nick grabbed his arm and pulled him into the room, closing the door quickly.  He locked it, then pulled his shirt off over his head and tossed it aside, leaning back against the door.  "What are you doing?"

        "What does it look like I'm doing?"  It was amazing how Nick stared at him.  Like Nick had never seen him shirtless.  Apparently his time in the gym had paid off - - was paying off, now, in spades.  Nick's eyes were so...hungry...

        "It looks like you need to put on your clothes and get out of my room."

        Nick sounded convincing, but couldn't be bothered to look him in the eyes, was too busy staring at his body, so some of the effect was lost.  "Are you mad at me?"  Hello, he was up here!

        "Yes."  Nick finally met his eyes.  About time.

        "If you're mad at me, we'll have a fight, we'll be upset, we'll upset Drew, we'll perform badly, we'll look bad on widely-watched international television, and that one bad public performance will haunt our careers.  On the other hand," he unbuttoned his jeans, and there was no mistaking that look as Nick's eyes went to his crotch and Nick's lips parted and Nick's eyes went hungry-greedy, "if you're not mad, you can kiss me and make love to me and it will cement our friendship and make us closer and we'll perform all the better for it, we'll impress everyone, we'll prove our talents, and we'll boost our career."

        "You want me to make love to you?"

        "It's your turn again."

        Nick frowned.  "If we're taking turns, it's your turn."

        Jeff smiled.  "If you insist."

        "I didn't...mean that."

        "If you don't want to make love with me, just tell me."

        "Then you'll go?"

        "I'll leave you alone."

        Nick turned away entirely, looking at the floor, practically with his back to Jeff.  "I don't want to make love with you."

        Jeff rebuttoned his jeans, tugged on his shirt, gathered his shoes and socks, and left, closing the door quietly.  He went to his room and went to bed.

        He awoke to a pounding.  Knocking.  Door.  He pulled on his jeans and checked the peephole.  Nick.  Well.  He opened the door.  "Good morning."

        "Hi."  Nick looked half normal and friendly and half terrified.  It was an interesting combination.

        "Come in, order me some breakfast."  He disappeared into the bathroom to pee.  When he came out again he pulled on a T-shirt and sat beside Nick on the sofa.  "You okay?"

        "Yeah."

        "Last night, when you said that you didn't want to make love with me, my first reaction was: he's lying.  You had to be lying, because I knew that you wanted me.  But then I realized how ridiculous that sounds.  How arrogant can I be to believe that of course you want to make love with me.  I can't just assume something like that.  But...yesterday, when you said those things to me, you told me how much you love me, I know that you're in love with me, and I know that you want to make love with me.  That's not arrogance, that's just faith in what you told me.  You were lying."

        "Yeah."

        "It's okay."

        "I was a coward last night.  It's not okay."

        "A coward?"

        "I lied."

        "You were uncomfortable."

        "I was afraid."

        "Of what?"

        "Of you rejecting me.  Not for sex, for love, for real.  I was afraid that you wouldn't love me.  That I'd ruin what we do have.  That I'd ruin our friendship.  That I'd ruin 98 Degrees."

        "By making love to me?"

        "By letting myself take from you.  The four of us have been equals, this is our group, we all share in the work, and I don't want to upset that balance.  Until now, until yesterday, I controlled myself.  If I start to turn our friendship into something that it shouldn't be, if I take advantage of you, it'll ruin everything."

        "Nick, you don't have to worry about that."

        "Why not?"

        "You making love to me can't ruin anything.  Except my guy-on-guy virginity, which you took yesterday."

        "I'm...I'd hoped I was the first."

        "The only."  Jeff kissed Nick, didn't let Nick back up, kept going until Nick moaned helplessly and went on the offensive.  An aggressive Nick Lachey was a fairly impressive sight.  Jeff ended up naked on his back under Nick on the bed, his mouth possessed, strong masculine hands stroking over his muscled torso.  It was an amazing difference, doing this with a woman and doing this with Nick.  There was no mistaking Nick's gender, no matter how one looked at the situation.  There was nothing feminine or even androgynous about Nick.  All man.  All his.

        He rolled them over, pinning Nick beneath himself, taking control.  After all, it was his turn.

        A moment later, he found himself on his back again.  All right, Nick was bigger than he was, but that was no excuse.  Still, it would seem that Nick wanted to be the lover not the lovee, and he decided that he really had no protestations whatsoever.  He relaxed, traced the muscles in Nick's back with his fingertips, and let Nick suck his tongue.

        "Jeff," was breathed into his mouth as Nick dove in for more.  He rubbed over Nick's broad shoulders with one hand, the other hand sliding down past Nick's waist.  "Jeff.  I love you, I love you so much," and Nick moaned, rocking against his body.

        "I know," he said, and reached toward the nightstand table for the lubricant.  He'd planned to put it away in his suitcase, but they weren't having maid service daily, so he'd left it there from yesterday.  He hadn't packed it planning to have sex with his front man, but it had been on his dresser at home with his comb and other assorted objects that he'd just shoved into his carry-on.  It was practically a full tube, since he used it only periodically for easier masturbation.  If he kept having wild hot monkey sex at this rate with Nick, though, it would go empty quickly.

        It wasn't his fault that he made Nick horny.

        He wondered how long this had been happening, how long Nick had wanted him.  How long Nick had loved him.  From some of Nick's beautiful and heartfelt speech yesterday, Nick had felt this way for some time.  Before Jessica, even, which explained in part why those two weren't together anymore.  Hard to be with a PYT when one was in love with one's first tenor.  Jessica had been nice, and he'd liked her, but he didn't regret having taken Nick from her, no matter that he'd never meant to do it.

        "Do you know how hard it is not to stare at you?" Nick asked.  "You're gorgeous."  Nick's fingers traced down his side, over his six-pack.  "Look at you.  You're incredible."

        "Look at you," Jeff returned, skimming a finger down Nick's cheek.

        Nick flushed.  "I'm not...  I have an overhanging forehead and I always look like I'm squinting and my ears stick out and my nose...is just..."

        "Gorgeous," Jeff said, and kissed him.

        Nick tugged on one earring nervously.  "Now you're just being nice."

        "You know that we don't have all of those fans just because we know how to sing.  Those screaming girls aren't there to hear our harmonies.  They're there to ogle you."

        "I thought they were there to ogle you," Nick said, smiling.

        He ran a hand over Nick's pecs.  "But you're so nice to ogle."

        "You too," Nick said, leaning in to kiss his right nipple.

        He was trying to remember something...something that Nick had said...  It was sort of difficult to think at all when Nick was licking him there.  "Nick."

        Nick waited patiently, sucking on his left nipple.

        "You can stare at me whenever you want."

        "You won't mind?"

        "I won't mind."

        "Thanks."  Nick came back up to kiss his mouth.  "Jeff, you...  I do love you."

        "I know."  He did.  It was amazing.

        At long last, he felt that shattering, exquisite violation.  He breathed deeply, tethered to reality only by the firm lock of their gazes.  He looked up into Nick's blue eyes and felt Nick's hardness and heat enter his body.  Slowly he was filled, filled, filled.  He saw Nick's body shuddering for control.

        They dozed, Nick spooned up behind him, Nick's arm around his waist.  He rested his hands on Nick's arm, warm, strong.  Secure.

        When he awoke, Nick was fingering his lats and nuzzling ever so gently at the back of his neck.  He, well, it didn't sound very adult or masculine, but to be honest, he squirmed - - shifted? Did that sound better? - - back against Nick, half to get more comfortable, half just to be annoying and arousing.  Nick brushed a kiss over his topmost knot of his spine and fingers brushed at the top curls of his pubic hair.  "Love you," Nick said softly.  He closed his eyes and leaned back into Nick's warmth and bulk.

        "I love you, Nick."

        He actually, in some weird bodily flux, felt Nick swallow.  He definitely felt Nick's hand tighten on his ribcage.  Nick stopped breathing.  He shifted, moving away and rolling over and coming back to rest on his side, against Nick's chest, face-to-face.  He looked into Nick's eyes, ran a thumb over Nick's cheekbone.  "I'm in love with you, Nick Lachey."  And then he kissed Nick, soft, warm, slow.

        "Jeff."

        "Hmm."  Tasted good.

        "Do you...oh-" Nick gasped "-really - - ooohhh."

        He raised his head enough to smile at Nick before ducking in for another kiss.  "Yes."

        "Thank you god."

        He and Nick were mature adults.  (Sort of.)  So they didn't have to spend twenty-four hours a day, seven days a week, in bed.  (They didn't?)  Eventually they rejoined the world (for five minutes a day), and when Drew wasn't with Nick (never) they rehearsed and strategized and called Justin (Lucy, you got some 'splaining to do).  And, finally, they went to the Planet Earth VTV Music Awards (you mean they were there to work and not just to hang out and have sex?).

        They sat in the designated Motown area, and presented the award for Best Song Country Duo or Group, and performed.  They watched the Backstreet Boys perform.  They watched the Backstreet Boys sweep all of their categories.  They knew that they'd have some more explaining to do when Nick Carter not only ran across the aisle to hug Drew but also, at the podium, thanked Drew.  Then they watched *NSYNC perform and figured that no one would care about or remember anything except...that.

        The title, "Boy Lead the Way to Ecstasy," comes from "Heat It Up," written by 98 Degrees, Mark Adams, Steve Arrington, Mark Hicks, Thomas Lockett, Raymond Turner, Daniel Webster, and Starleana Taylor and is owned by 98 Degrees and Rising (ASCAP)/Golden Mean Music/Amazing Love Publishing/Just a Touch of Mark Music/DRAFC Music/2 Cents Publishing/Webster Music/Starr Music (BMI).  Or, more specifically, I believe that it comes from the Slave recording "Just a Touch of Love" (M. Adams/S. Arrington/M. Hicks/T. Lockett/R. Turner/D. Webster/S. Taylor) and is under license from Warner Bros. Records by arrangement with Warner Special Products.

        Subtitle one, "When you smile I can feel / All my passion unfolding / Your hand brushes mine / A thousand sensations / Seduce me," comes from "I Do (Cherish You)," which Nick and Drew discuss in the story.  This song was written by Keith Stegall and Dan Hill, copyright 1997 by Smash Vegas Music, a division of Big Picture Entertainment (BMI) / If Dreams Had Wings Music Ltd. (SOCAN/BMI).

        "Fly With Me," which Drew talks about and Jeff sings from, was written by 98 Degrees, S. P. Michel, Jerry Duplessis, Stig Anderson, Bjoern Ulvaeus and Benny Anderson.  This song is owned by 98 Degrees and Rising/Sony / ATV/Tete San Ko Publishing, Inc. (ASCAP)/TeBass Music, Inc. / EMI Blackwood Music, Inc./EMI Grove Park Music Inc./Songs of PolyGram Int'l (BMI).

        Subtitle two, "I've made up my mind / There's no turning back," is from "The Hardest Thing," written by Steve Kipner and David Frank, owned by Stephen A. Kipner Music/EMI/Muso Music (ASCAP).