Awakenings

Awakenings, the sequel to "Torn Pages"

Rating: NC-17 for graphic male-male sex

Pairings: JC Chasez/Justin Timberlake, Lance Bass/Chris Kirkpatrick

Disclaimer: The young men who comprise *NSYNC are their own people. The author has not met anyone here described, nor does the author mean to suggest that these people act this way in real life. This writing is a work of fiction. I make no money from this venture.

Dedication: This slashfic is for Ewan McGregor and the Savage Garden slashers. Also for aim.

Wherein I return to my old haunting grounds, try to figure out what's in JC's head, and give Joey something new to consider.

Notice: Warning: I just finished writing "Destiny." I tried to keep that mindset out of this story, but no doubt this JC/Justin has been influenced by that one. Sorry.

Alla

While Joey shaved, his mind wandered.

Chris and Lance. He hadn't expected that. Chris was old and short and weird. Lance was young and blond and conservative. Chris was so Chris, and Lance was so, well, so Lance, that it was sort of Twilight Zone to think of them together.

Being friends was one thing. Being in love and getting it on was totally different.

It seemed to be working, though. Chris was still Chris, and Lance was still Lance. Chris made Lance polish that edge, and Lance made Chris go all wide-eyed. They were good for each other.

JC and Justin.

Justin and JC.

He hadn't expected that one, either. Maybe he should have. Justin always had been weird about JC. It came out in subtle ways and in obvious ways. Like there was a hierarchy or something. Mere mortals, Justin's family and friends, Justin, and JC.

And JC was...JC had this thing for Justin. They weren't just best friends. They would die for each other. Which was really scary. It was laidback and casual, but everyone knew that JC would do anything for Justin.

Even have sex with him, apparently.

But why?

JC wasn't bi. JC didn't like guys. JC didn't like Justin, not in that way.

Did he?

What in hell was going on here?

Lance looked at Chris.

Chris snored.

Lance poked him.

He frowned and rolled away from Lance.

Lance looked at Chris's back. He smoothed down the fluffs and spikes of Chris's bed hair. He tugged up the covers to keep Chris warm.

A few minutes passed.

Chris rolled over again, right into Lance, and stayed there.

Part of Lance was thinking about waking Chris up for sex. Part of him was thinking ahead to that night's concert. And part of him was thinking that he'd never been happier.

Someone was touching him.

Someone...

Justin.

Justin was touching him.

Fingers on his hip.

JC opened his eyes.

"Hi."

Justin looked unhappy.

JC didn't know what to say.

"We don't have to do that again."

JC still didn't know what to say.

"If you don't want to do it anymore. We don't have to. If it's not what you want. I know it's not what you want. It's okay. That's okay. I don't even, I mean, that was enough, we don't have to."

JC felt the soft silk of Justin's eyebrows, gentle beneath his thumb.

Justin was quiet.

He stroked in the wrong direction, ruffling them on purpose just so he could smooth them down again.

"JC?"

"I'll shower and get dressed in my room. It'll be faster."

"Okay."

Joey didn't know why he flirted with guys.

It was easy. An easy thing to do.

Not just any guys. Some guys. Specific guys.

One guy.

Chris.

It was just easy to flirt with Chris. It didn't mean anything. He didn't want Chris. But, as playful and friendly as he was with anyone else, as close as he came to flirting with other guys, especially Justin and Lance and JC, it was easy to cross the line with Chris. To go into full-on flirter mode.

He'd only started doing it recently.

He couldn't flirt with JC because Justin was way too sensitive these days. He couldn't flirt with Justin because, yeah, Justin was way too sensitive these days. Flirting with Lance, well, Lance was too straight for Joey to be able to get into it right, which was backwards, but too bad.

Chris was easy. Flip and cute and responsive.

Like a girl.

Only much cooler, and without that tugging sensation.

Chris sat on his suitcase and cursed.

"We're late, we're late, we're so late," Lance was muttering, dashing into the bathroom.

"For a very important date?" Chris asked.

"Don't start. This is your fault," Lance's voice said.

"Right. Yeah. Sure. Blame me. Damn it!" He turned and pounded on his suitcase.

"Pummeling it isn't going to help," Lance said, darting from the bathroom towards the closet.

"'Pummeling?' Who says 'pummeling?'"

"I just did. Where's my underwear?"

"I ate it!" Chris snapped.

"Don't get-"

"I'm not-"

"Where the-"

"Fuck it!" Chris shouted, and shoved his suitcase across the floor.

"That's not helping!"

"I don't care!"

"Would you act your age?"

"Would you act yours?!"

"We wouldn't be late if you'd..."

"If I'd what?"

"If you." Lance swallowed and turned red.

Chris's anger was evaporating quickly. He didn't know why he found Lance's Adam's apple attractive. He was just sick, he supposed.

"If you."

"Say it."

"Chris."

"Say it."

"We're late."

"Why are we late?"

"You wanted to - - can we just get out of here? We're late."

"Why are we late, Lance?"

"Chris."

"Lance."

Lance crouched down and closed his suitcase for him, locking it efficiently. Then Lance reached over and tugged him closer, kissed him. "Chris."

"Lance," he said softly, tracing a path down Lance's naked chest.

"We're late," Lance said, just as softly.

"I wonder why," Chris said, gazing into Lance's eyes.

"I wonder," Lance agreed, and kissed him again.

Justin didn't care that Chris and Lance were holding up the bus.

It gave him more time with JC.

More time pressed against the wall of bunks, the ledge of the top bunk digging into the top of his spine, JC's tongue slick and wet in his mouth, JC's hand warm against his abdomen.

"Want you," JC said, kissing him deeper.

Justin didn't know why JC said that. He decided not to care. JC's tongue licked the roof of his mouth while JC's hand started to slide down the front of his pants.

Oh hell yes.

Justin gasped for air and cupped a quick hand between JC's thighs. JC moaned and bucked into his palm, his fingers pressing back towards JC's balls.

JC said his name.

Joey said his name.

Shit.

JC stopped kissing him and turned to Joey.

"Not on the bus, okay?" Joey asked. "Anyone could walk on here right now."

"Sorry," JC said.

"Fuck me," Justin said, and licked JC's earlobe.

"Not on the bus," Joey said.

"Later," JC promised, his voice low and tense, his eyes shining with desire, his hands possessive on Justin's back.

Sharp anticipation and dark fear twisted Justin's gut.

JC meant it.

JC was going to fuck him.

"She's nice."

"Eh."

"Eh?"

"Eh."

"Are we looking at the same person?"

"The one in red."

"With the blue."

"Yeah."

"And you say 'eh?'"

"She's not my type."

"You don't like beautiful women?"

"I'm tired of blondes."

Chris chuckled. "Not me."

"He's okay."

"Okay?"

"He's okay."

"Jerk. You don't like blondes?"

"I've had one too many."

"Too much of a good thing. Maybe you should slow down."

"Slow down? I'm just hitting my stride."

"Which one do you want? She's pretty."

"Which one?"

"The one with the red hair and the skirt."

"Skirt?"

"Or lack thereof."

"Whoa. Nice."

"Go get her, Tiger."

"Why don't you?"

"Me?"

"You seem interested."

"Not in her."

"Take her home for Lance. He might like her."

"Lance likes 'em short, dark, and handsome."

"Let me give Howie a call."

"I said 'handsome.'"

"Right, sorry."

"Besides, Lance in a threesome?"

"What about you in a threesome?"

Chris looked at Joey.

"What?"

He raised an eyebrow.

"No. No. You're shitting me."

"It was a one-time thing."

"You and who else?"

"Girl I'd been dating. She had a friend. A female friend."

"You and two women?"

"It was hot but confusing."

"You'd do it again?"

"I'm a one-man man."

"What if Lance wanted to?"

"Lance in a threesome?"

"Didn't we just talk about this?"

"Would you?"

"Would I?"

"Menage a trois."

"French now."

"Would you?"

"With two girls? Any day."

"What about a girl and a guy?" Chris's eyes were dark.

"Who's the guy?"

"Who do you want it to be?" Chris's voice was low. For Chris.

Joey grinned. "I get to pick?"

"Turn on the charm, you can have anyone you want." There was promise in his tone.

"You're confusing me for JC again."

"No, I'm not."

Joey couldn't look away from him.

Lance coughed.

"Coming, sweetheart," Chris said, gaze still locked with Joey's.

Lance snorted and left.

Chris smiled at Joey and followed Lance.

Joey checked out the redhead.

Justin tugged open JC's jeans and kissed JC's abdomen, licked into JC's navel. JC's fingers slid down over his curls; he fisted one hand in his groin, eyes closing, thighs spreading. Heat rose from JC's skin; he could smell JC's musk.

"Justin." JC's breathing was ragged.

He didn't need to say JC's name. His heart was pounding it through his veins.

Lance was on the phone. Working. Sitting on the floor by the bed, talking, shuffling through papers and sounding unhappy.

Chris was on the edge of the bed, a notepad balanced on one knee. He wrote a letter home with one hand, fingers of his other hand tugging idly at Lance's hair.

Lance swatted his hand away, distracted.

Chris ignored Lance's irritation and kept playing with Lance's hair. He'd always liked blond hair. Lance had let him help to bleach it. That had been fun.

He wondered if he could get Lance to let him bleach Lance's pubic hair.

It was worth a shot.

Justin sucked in a quick breath.

"Does it hurt?"

"Yes."

"I'm sorry."

He bit his lower lip for control and made himself open his eyes. "It's okay."

"Hold on."

Justin gasped and tried to hold still.

"Oh god," JC moaned, long lashes starting to lower at the pleasure.

He was making JC feel good. He wanted to make JC feel good. Damn it, couldn't he feel good, too?

"Justin." JC moved some more, pushed farther inside him. The pain blossomed and started to become pleasure. He felt it. He gasped again, not with pain this time. JC said his name and kept moving.

Justin's legs started to ache a little, and the back of his throat burned with each harsh gasp. His cock was swollen and throbbing from each of JC's thrusts. JC's hips really knew this rhythm well.

There was sweat trickling down from JC's temples, and JC's blue eyes were wide and intense. JC's mouth was red from kissing, lips parted for uneven breaths. Justin could glimpse white teeth, could trace the path of a bead of sweat down JC's cheekbone, could see the slow sweep of the fringe of dark lashes when JC blinked.

Justin had lost all tension. His body was a welcoming haven for JC, ready to accept each thrust and invasion. He rocked with each of JC's movements, trying to keep from coming too soon. He didn't know how soon was too soon, but he didn't want to come just yet. This felt way too good.

This? This what?

This everything.

This JC.

This JC. Whoever this JC was. It certainly wasn't the old JC, because the JC Justin had used to know never would take him to bed.

Justin didn't know this new JC very well. He was a stranger with a familiar smile. He liked Justin. He seemed to want Justin. He wanted Justin enough to have sex.

Sex. He was having sex with JC.

He came, hard and fast. And by the time he caught his breath, JC was coming.

Inside of him.

Which, for one second, was a scary thing.

But that second passed quickly.

Justin had more important things to think about right now.

Like how long he could keep JC in his bed.

Lance turned off his phone and kissed Chris.

About damned time.

Sweat and semen. Justin needed a shower. So did JC.

Justin flexed and stretched a little, testing. Everything felt okay. He felt sort of used, physically. Like he'd just finished a major workout. Which he had, he supposed.

JC was asleep, half beside him, half on top of him. He copied JC's breathing pattern and closed his eyes.

Then he opened his eyes, stroked JC's face, and said, "I love you."

Justin closed his eyes again and went to sleep.

JC opened his eyes.

Morning.

He closed them again.

Justin made a disgusted sound and pulled the covers tighter.

He tried to remember what they had to do today. Then his mind got distracted by the feel of Justin's thigh under his hand. Warm muscle, the soft tickle of hair, and, oh, yes. The sweet tight curve of Justin's ass.

By the time JC realized that he was groping his best friend, that best friend was making warm sounds and starting to kiss him.

JC knew Justin very well. He'd known Justin for a long time now. Watched the little boy grow and develop, physically as well as psychologically. Justin's body was a lot different now. It had filled out, matured, and now there was all of this muscle, long limbs and promising strength.

It was an amazingly erotic contrast, being with someone built like this, as opposed to the women JC was used to. Or maybe the eroticism was in the similarity, the similarity between Justin's body and his own.

JC didn't mind being on his back under Justin. Was it that he didn't feel dominated? Well, in a sense, he did. But it didn't bother him. It was kind of a turn-on, having someone with the potential to overpower him. He knew that he could take the upper hand if he wanted to do so. And he was at the center of Justin's eager desire. On his back, Justin on top of him kissing him to feed on him, touching his body with hungry hands.

He touched Justin, too. Felt Justin's biceps flex under his palm, ran his fingers down the ridges of Justin's spine, rubbed his hips up against Justin's. Pleasure sparked through him and he made a new moaning sound into Justin's mouth. Justin only kissed him harder, and then there was a confident hand stroking up the shaft of his cock.

JC almost came. Too good, too good, oh, that felt wonderful, he was going to come now, release the pulse of his throbbing cock into Justin's hand.

Justin had other ideas.

JC's hips rose from the bed, his muscles shaking, his heart pounding, his breath a quick gasp. The welcoming, wet furnace of Justin's mouth was a perfect haven. The slow, erotic violation of a single finger pushing into JC's body was a mind-twisting contrast. JC's mind didn't know whether to focus on the perfect pleasure of Justin's mouth or the shocking boldness of Justin's finger or the begging need of JC's own body. Ripped apart by the excess of stimulation, JC's mind exploded, and his body followed.

He tried to breathe.

He heard rapid, shaky, panting breaths. They weren't his own.

Justin.

He swallowed and made sure that his eyes were open.

He tried to say, "Come here."

Justin crawled up his body, wide-eyed, trembling slightly, lips parted.

He reached down for Justin's cock. It responded eagerly, and Justin gasped painfully. He gave a few experimental strokes, his hand now wet with Justin's pre-cum, and Justin came. He got to watch, had a front row seat, saw Justin's stunned eyes and flushed cheeks, heard Justin say his name in a deliciously rich voice, felt the hot rush of Justin's spurting cum.

Someone pounded on the door. "Justin! Let's go! Anybody seen JC?"

They continued to look at each other. Without shame or guilt or fear.

Lance was asleep on the sofa, his cheek on Chris's thigh. Chris was reading, one thumb idly tracing weird patterns around Lance's temple.

Joey used to do that. Fall asleep on Chris. He probably couldn't anymore. It might seem weird. It was Lance's job now.

Chris was pretty comfortable to sleep on, though. Justin was too squirrelly, and JC didn't have enough padding. Lance was comfortable. Chris made a good piece of furniture, and usually smelled good, too.

"JC."

"What?"

"JC."

"What?"

"JC?"

"What?!"

Justin grinned.

JC sighed patiently. "Can I help you with something?"

"I'll give you five bucks if you do something for me."

"No."

"Six?"

"No."

"Ten?"

"What is it?"

"Will you do it?"

"Show me the money."

"Joey!"

"What?"

"Give me ten dollars."

"No."

"I'll pay you back later."

"No you won't."

"Joey!"

"Hold on." Joey ambled over and passed Justin the money. "Why?"

"I'm paying JC for sexual favors."

"Okay." Joey left again.

"I'll give you the money if you do it."

It wasn't like JC exactly needed the money. But he was curious. "Okay."

"Close your eyes."

"No."

"Do it."

"No."

"Do it!"

JC closed his eyes.

"Open your mouth."

JC, feeling twinges of fear, opened his mouth.

"Stick out your tongue."

"What are you going to do to it?" JC demanded, having visions of Justin feeding him a spider.

"Just stick out your tongue."

JC crossed himself and put out his tongue.

Oh. Damn. God. Yes. Okay, this was sort of gross, but damn, it felt good. It probably looked extremely lewd, but it was sure making his cock jump.

His tongue was sucked into Justin's mouth, licked and sucked some more. First it felt like Justin was giving him head, only to the wrong part of his anatomy. Then it was like their tongues were in a heated ritual mating dance, stroking and teasing. Finally Justin gave in and kissed him, moved the mating dance to his mouth, got up close and personal, fingers in each other's hair and clutching at each other's bodies.

Justin knelt before him and broke their kiss.

Now that was the right part of his anatomy.

On the bus, they were on the bus, they couldn't, couldn't...couldn't...oh...sweet...yes...

"Chris," Joey hissed.

"What?" Chris asked, not listening.

"They're doing it on the bus again!"

"What?" Chris paid attention. "Now?"

"Right now!"

"Don't they ever stop?"

"I am not spending the rest of the tour afraid to turn around in case they're going at it."

"We've told them to stop."

"They're still doing it."

"What am I supposed to do about it?"

"Tell them again!"

"They're busy right now."

"That's so funny it's hilarious." Joey sat before Chris, on the floor.

"Maybe we could lock Justin in the bathroom and keep them separated."

"We might have to pee sometime."

"Open a window."

"I would, but I'd hate to scare the passersby."

"With what?"

"You know with what."

"They'll be scared all right. But it won't be good for international relations if everyone in Europe thinks that American men have no dicks."

"Don't feel bad. Mine more than makes up for yours."

"There's nothing wrong with mine."

Joey snorted.

"Which of us had a pretty blond satisfied in his room last night?"

"Don't bring me into this," Lance said.

"You're asleep," Chris said.

"I was until you and Joey started comparing."

"Hey. Decide for us. Who wins?"

"I win," Lance decided, yawning, eyes still closed.

"You do not," Joey said.

"He has a point," Chris admitted.

"He does not win!" Joey protested.

"I think he does," Chris said.

"He does not! His isn't better than mine."

"I think it is."

"You're biased. If I let you touch mine, you'd like mine better."

"Don't even think about it," Lance said, opening one eye.

JC's orgasm was audible.

Joey turned red.

All day long, all night long, JC had been looking forward to this moment. Being alone in a locked hotel room with Justin. In bed. In Justin.

Justin's body was hot. JC had never felt anything this tight. Justin's muscles closed around him, making his pleasure spike. It was incredible, the way this heated constriction drove his cock to thrust and throb. His hips wanted nothing more than to rock deeper and deeper inside Justin's body, to get more and more of this intense, unknown phenomenon.

It had never been like this, never. He'd never imagined. How could he have known?

Justin had known. Somehow, Justin had realized. Realized what this could be like, what they could be together. While he'd been oblivious, Justin had been aching for it.

How had Justin guessed?

He looked into Justin's eyes, through the haze of passion, and saw nothing but beauty in those blue depths.

Beauty. Justin's beauty. The beauty of Justin's soul. The beauty of Justin's spirit and vibrance. The beauty of Justin's heart and innocence. The beauty of Justin's experience and determination. The beauty of everything that made Justin human and everything that made Justin unique. The beauty of Justin's love.

When his orgasm had passed, JC caught his breath and looked into Justin's eyes again. This time, he saw pain. Confusion. Heartache.

The beauty was purely Justin's. The pain was foreign, put there by JC.

He didn't know what to do to get rid of it.

Justin only wanted to understand.

But JC had no explanations.

She was very pretty. Her dark curls were just the kind he'd always wanted to tangle his fingers in, and her skirt was just tight enough for Joey to enjoy the slimness of her thighs. He'd started to get that tugging sensation. The one in his groin. The one that said, oh yeah, gonna get laid tonight; this girl's the one.

Then he'd noticed her eyelashes. They were thick and dark. They made him think of Chris.

Her eyes weren't as pretty as Chris's, though. Not quite as dark. Not quite as well-shaped.

Chris really had very pretty eyes. And great coloring, dark hair and eyes against pale skin.

He was called away to do something. Instead of making plans to see her later, he just said good-bye.

JC's hands had been running over his torso like JC couldn't get enough of touching him. Now JC's mouth was joining the act. Justin felt kisses scattered down his side, a quick tongue over his nipples, tiny nibbles inside his thigh. JC started rubbing two fingers back behind his balls, flirting around the entrance to his body. Teasing him, getting him all stroked up, making him feel that anticipation.

JC had never given him a blow job. He couldn't get enough of JC in his mouth, but JC hadn't tried it with him. That was okay. He was dying to know what it was like, what it would feel like to have JC's mouth on his cock, but he didn't have to have it. Just doing it to JC was enough.

That wasn't because Justin was a charitable person. It was just because sucking JC made Justin so hot that he didn't need much more than that to come. Being with JC, kissing JC, touching JC, getting to do things to JC, being able to give pleasure to JC, was all that Justin needed. That all got him hot enough.

He could touch JC's skin. Naked flesh against his fingertips. Smooth and soft.

Oh... Justin tried to catch his breath. It was amazing how good that felt, JC's mouth on his balls, hot and wet and close around him. He wanted to stay in there. He wanted to get his cock in there. He tried to keep from asking, wanted to keep from begging. Maybe if he kept quiet, he wouldn't scare JC off, and JC might stay and...

...oh, yes...

Oh god, oh god, oh god. That was JC's tongue. JC's tongue. Hot and wet and firm and soft and on his cock, right there, licking up, up, oh god, yes. That was the spot, that was it, that was...was...oh...god... He was going to come, he was going to come, it was too good, he could feel it inside, outside, the pleasure starting to tear along his spine.

Justin's fingers clutched at the mattress, seeking purchase, seeking control. If he could just wait one more second, one more second, please, just a little longer. He didn't want to come, not quite yet. He didn't know if or when this moment would ever come again, and if this was his only chance with JC's mouth, he wasn't going to let it go this soon.

JC made a noise. A soft sort of growling noise. And started to take in his cock. The head went into JC's mouth, and then JC's tongue was gentle and hot on the head, and oh god, yes, JC moved closer, took on more, oh...god...yes...

Oh hell yeah.

No, no, no, not now, not now, not-

He gasped.

JC choked.

Justin tried to catch his breath.

JC coughed.

Justin sat up and left the bed.

JC swallowed and made a face.

Justin came back from the bathroom and sat on the bed, looking at his hands.

JC sat up and licked his lips.

"Sorry."

"For what?"

"I wasn't going to. Do that. Come. Didn't."

"You were supposed to. That was the point."

"You okay?"

"Yeah. Don't worry about it."

"You didn't have to."

"What?"

"Do that."

"I wanted to."

"Really?"

"Yeah."

"You, um. You liked it?" Justin snuck a glance at JC.

"Are you okay?"

"Yeah."

"You want to have sex?"

Justin's body heat rose. "Yeah."

Joey wondered what the big deal was.

Yeah, sex was great. No kidding. He'd figured that out some time ago.

But what was so great about doing it with a guy?

What was the real appeal? Was it that someone with the same body parts knew how those parts worked better than someone without them? Or was it some biological, genetic coding mystery that he and his heterosexual genes just didn't get?

Justin and JC sure seemed to like gay guy sex stuff. Well, that wasn't really a huge mystery. Any fool could see why Justin would want JC. Just look at him. Joey had known for a while now that JC had to be great in bed.

What about Chris and Lance? No offense, but Joey didn't look at them and think "sex." Chris was great in a lot of ways, but Joey didn't really see huge sex appeal as one of them. Even without those braids.

Chris was cute and everything. Attractive. But he was too...too Chris. He wasn't quite like high-energy JC, but he had this bouncy attitude. Bouncy. That wasn't right. He was, he was...

Damn it, he was Chris.

And he was great.

But Joey didn't want him.

Joey was straight.

"Justin?"

Justin turned quickly, a guilty flush rising over his features.

They stared at each other.

"I thought you were sleeping."

"What are you doing?"

"Nothing."

"You're hiding in the bathroom? Come back to bed."

"Give me a second."

"You were writing. Justin? What are...is that your diary?"

"Journal," Justin said nervously. Diaries were for girls.

"What are you writing?"

"It's private."

"You can tell me."

"You think it's about you."

"It's possible."

"It's not. I'm not writing about you. I don't...I..."

"Jus-"

"I hate you."

"Justin."

"Why are you fucking me?"

"Because I want you."

"You don't!"

"I do. You don't know. I want you."

Justin hated the way JC's eyes skimmed over his body just then. Hated it because he liked it, because it made him hot, because it made him want to be back in that bed under JC's naked body. "You don't want me. You never have. You're straight! You can't just get over it! You're straight, you can't want me, stop pretending!"

"I'm not pretending! Justin. Justin, stop it, just come here. Stop it! Look at me."

He looked. His heart flipped. He hated that just looking at JC, just meeting JC's eyes, made him feel all lovesick and woozy. It was like being a little girl. Why did JC always do that to him?

"Justin." JC was staring right into his eyes. "I love you. Stop looking at me like that. Idiot. I'm in love with you, and you can't pretend that I'm not."

"I'm not the one pretending!"

"Stop - - hold still! Stand there!"

"Jerk."

"You can't say you love me when you don't."

"You know I love you."

"You don't want me."

"How much sex have we been having?" JC asked.

"Yeah but...you're not in love with me."

"I am so."

"You are not."

"Am so."

"Are not."

"Jerk."

"Now what?" JC asked.

"Now what what?"

"Tell me you love me."

"JC, you know I do."

"Say it."

Justin rolled his eyes. "JC, I'm in love with you."

"Thank you."

"Satisfied?"

"Can we go back to bed now?"

"What are you doing up, anyway?"

"I rolled over and you weren't there."

"Oh."

Joey tugged the back of Lance's shirt and Lance turned around to face him. There was a brief silence while Lance waited with a patient smile and Joey tried not to frown. "How do you know you're gay?"

Lance smiled. "I like men."

"You just like them?"

"I'm attracted to them. I want to be with them. I have weird emotions about them."

"Like for Chris."

"You want him?"

The faintest tinge of red colored Lance's cheeks. "Yes."

Lance looked good when he blushed like that. Just a little blush, because he was cool, he was mature. But he was still embarrassed. It was the coolest, cutest thing. It was kind of sexy.

"I feel about Chris the way you feel about women."

"You get that tugging?"

"Tugging?"

"Yeah, tugging."

Lance thought about it. He frowned just a little before saying, "Yes. I know what you mean, I think. I get that with Chris."

Maybe that was it, then. People were tugged by different kinds of people. Joey's tuggers were women, and Lance's tugger was Chris. It made sense. Good.

Justin liked to put his finger up inside JC's body. Just one finger, now. JC's muscle was drawn up tight, and Justin was careful not to cause pain.

JC liked being touched there. He always got this shocked, wide-eyed look, and whenever Justin stopped he moaned. It always made him really hard.

Justin liked it when JC was hard. He liked to make JC hard, to cause that pleasure, to see JC get turned on by him, by what he did.

He'd made JC want him. He was going to keep doing that for as long as he could.

Chris was short.

Chris was old.

Chris wasn't totally ripped.

In fact, Chris had a cute layer of pudge.

Someone seeking flaws might say that Chris's ears stuck out.

Joey tried very hard to remind himself of all of those facts.

Because he'd been sitting there on the sofa innocently talking on the phone, and Chris had walked through and tossed him a smile, and he'd felt a definite tug. Two tugs.

One at his heart. The other at his groin.

It was ridiculous. Ludicrous. Outlandish.

He was straight. He couldn't be gay. He was straight. He liked women. He didn't want men. Men were hairy and gross.

He hung up as soon as he could and stood, planning to go see Chris. He could see Chris again, and feel no reaction, and prove to himself that he'd imagined the tugging.

Lance walked in and said, "Hey."

Joey grabbed Lance's shirtfront with one hand and pressed his lips to Lance's.

Oof! He doubled over, one hand over his midsection. "What was that for?!"

"What do you think!" Lance smacked him on the back of the head and left.

Ow. Damn. He was sticking to women.

No sex last night.

JC had slept with him anyway.

Fallen asleep with him, awakened with him. Cuddled up to him like they were nestling kittens or something.

Justin had enjoyed it way too much.

Cuddling without sex. It gave him this warm feeling. And JC had seemed to take it for granted, like of course they'd share a bed, sex or not.

Like they were a regular, established couple or something.

"Why did you kiss Lance?"

Shit. Um. "What?"

"Why did you kiss Lance?" Chris repeated. He didn't sound patient.

Joey licked his lips and looked around for an escape route. "He told you?"

"Why did you kiss Lance?"

"I was curious." Wrong answer, Joey. Dumbass.

"Curious," Chris repeated, clearly not impressed.

"About guys."

"Come here."

"What?"

"Come here."

"No." He wasn't getting closer to Chris right now. Nope. He'd stay out of hitting range. He didn't want to get into a fight. He just knew Chris was a biter.

Chris came closer. Joey tried to retreat, but the back of the sofa wouldn't let him disappear. Chris came closer. Joey's eyes darted, panicked. Then Chris was really close, extra close, and kissing him. Kissing him.

Wet. Hot. Tongue, oh god damn, that was tongue. Wow, yes, okay, definitely tongue. Good tongue, oh, god, yes...

Shit. Had he just moaned?

Tongue left. Mouth left. Kiss gone.

Joey opened his eyes.

"Curiosity killed the cat," Chris said, and left.

"Way to be dramatic, Kirkpatrick!" Joey shouted, once his brains had returned from his pants. Nice. Cryptic. Idiot.

Justin sighed with pleasure when JC kissed his nipples. "JC?"

"Yeah?" JC kissed further down his chest.

"You want to call this something?"

"It's called sex."

He pulled JC's hair and let his eyes close briefly when JC's hand parted his thighs. "I mean us."

"We're JC and Justin."

"Justin and JC," he corrected. "That's not what I meant."

JC stopped licking his navel and looked up at him. "You mean a label? For our...relationship?"

"Don't make it sound stupid and girly."

"It is."

"It's not! I just want to know what we are."

"We're JC and Justin," JC said, skimming a finger over his abs. "Justin and JC."

"Are we..." He wasn't sure what to say.

"We're best friends," JC said. "And lovers."

"We're lovers?"

"Yes."

"Oh."

"That okay with you?"

"Yeah. That's good."

"Can I get back to your blowjob now?"

Justin swallowed. "Sure."

He touched Lance's hair. Just for a split second, to test the little spikes against his fingertips. Lance looked at him like he'd gone nuts, so he tried not to look guilty.

He touched Chris's hair, too. Chris gave him a look, raising dark eyebrows, but let him go ahead.

Kissing Chris had been different from kissing women. For one thing, as a globetrotter, he'd been with women who didn't shave, but he'd never been with anyone who had a goatee. But besides that, there was still something different about Chris's kiss. Something more masculine. Something strong and aggressive.

He'd been with aggressive women. On occasion they scared him, but usually with them he got a thrill of, "Oh, damn, she's going to eat me alive. This is going to be great!" With Chris, it had been different.

He wondered if, for one flash, he'd felt the way women felt when he kissed them.

Maybe. Maybe not.

But there had been an indescribable, brief moment of desire and surrender. He'd never felt it before, and he wanted to feel it again.

"Justin."

"What?"

"Justin."

"What?"

"Justin."

"JC!"

"Close your eyes."

"No way."

"Close them."

"You're going to do something awful to me, and I don't - - no, no, get away from me! Aaahh! Pervert!"

JC laughed and kissed Justin. "You're ruining it."

"You're not doing anything to me. Hey, get off of me."

"I'm not doing anything to you?" JC asked.

"Don't touch...me...there, JC, oh." His head dropped back against the back of the sofa. "JC."

JC watched Justin's eyes close. "Yeah?" he asked softly, hand rubbing carefully between Justin's thighs.

"JC," Justin breathed. He was still, his red lips parted, his eyes closed, his pale skin flushed with arousal. He gasped, fingers curling, cock hard and swollen behind his jeans, against JC's hand.

"Let me kiss you," JC said, drawn to his beauty.

Justin's mouth opened for JC's kiss, his tongue welcoming JC's.

"Joey, if you don't stop staring at my butt, I'm going to hit you," Chris said without turning.

"I'm not staring," Joey said.

"JC and Justin are getting it on again."

"Are you... They do that a lot. Do you and Lance...do it...that much?"

"Not on the bus."

"But do you...every night?"

"Yeah, that's your business," Chris said.

"Every night and every morning," Lance's low voice said near Joey's ear. "Why? You want to watch?"

Joey jumped about a foot. Chris turned around and walked over, kissed Lance. With tongue. Right in front of Joey. Who stared.

"If you want to see any more, it'll cost you," Chris said. "I'll warn you, live porn shows don't come cheap."

Joey turned red and left.

"We're so mean to him," Lance murmured.

"He'll live," Chris said, kissing Lance again.

"He does know he's straight, doesn't he?"

"I think he forgot. We're so sexy he can't think straight anymore."

Lance chuckled. "We should stop torturing him."

"I'll stop torturing him when he stops checking out your crotch."

"He does not."

"He does."

Lance went still. "Really?"

"Really."

"He's seen me naked."

"It's a nice sight."

"Thanks."

"You're so cute when you blush."

"Thanks."

"Oh, look, it's getting worse. Come with me, little boy, and I'll give you something to blush about."

"We're on the bus, Chris."

"If they can do it on the bus, so can we."

"No, we can't."

"You spoil all of my fun."

"I know. I'll make it up to you later."

Chris smiled wickedly. "Really?"

"Really," Lance promised, and kissed him deeply.

"You hated me before. You were so mad at me."

JC was quiet.

"You found out that I wanted you and you hated me. You couldn't stand to be near me."

JC was quiet.

"And now you're all over me. Like it's normal. What happened, JC? What's different now? And how do I know you won't flip out again?"

"I didn't know," JC said. "I never knew you wanted me. I didn't expect to read that, I didn't expect you to...to feel that way. This way. I was surprised, and I reacted badly."

"That morning I was so scared. I was so scared, JC. And you came in and you were so good to me. I thought...I thought maybe, as long as JC's still here for me, maybe it'll be okay. And then you turned around and just like that it was all different."

"You were upset. I can't stand to see you upset like that."

"Is that why you're here now? So I won't be upset?"

"No. I'm here now because I want to be here."

matthew@matthewtime.com
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